Don't You Remember
by UnstoppableGirl
Summary: 'I thought you were dead, Ali! I mourned for you! I grieved and I cried and I hurt for you. My heart shattered because of you. Because you were the love of my life and I thought you had died. And now, all these years later, I should be happy that you're still here but I can't let myself feel it because it almost killed me the last time I lost you' (AU)
1. Prologue

It had been a whole year since Alison DiLaurentis had been reported as missing. One whole year. 365 days. 8760 hours. 525,600 Minutes. However you want to measure that year, whether it do be in midnights or cups of coffee, as the song suggests, or in simple numbers and figures, a year is still a damn long time when the shit hits the fan. A whole damn year, measured in police reports, tears and sleepless nights, at least that was the case for Emily Fields. A whole damn year of hurting, crying, avoiding journalists and experimenting in ways to numb the pain for just one minute. She'd give anything to make the pain go away, to stop from seeing her face whenever she closed her eyes. A year later, and Emily felt like she was being haunted by Alison DiLaurentis, because just when she thought she was starting to feel better, something else would happen, and now someone had truly ripped the rug from beneath her. That tiny bit of hope that Alison might still be out there somewhere, trying to find her way home, had been dashed in the form of a simple banner rolling across the bottom of the TV screen. The new anchor's words echoing through her mind, and god Emily found herself hating that red headed bitch for saying them.

'After a year of searching, Police have found the body of missing teenager, Alison DiLaurentis. Unfortunately, the Sixteen-year-old was found dead just a few miles from home'

Emily couldn't listen to the rest, she had zoned out at those words, blood draining from her face as her hands started to shake. She had left the house and hit up the only place she knew that would help her, somewhere she had been spending a lot of time recently. The Flying Pony might have a stupid name, and sure it was pretty much filled with old men and alcoholics, but it was just far enough outside of Rosewood for nobody there to recognise her, and Emily took comfort from the stale cigarette smell from eons ago and the drunken fools that inhabited it. She liked most that she had no memories there for her dwell on, no ghosts of the blonde that haunted her. She liked that she was making her own memories there, or losing them, depending on which way you looked at it. Still, as she entered the pub and inhaled the smell of beer and stale tobacco, it felt like home.

'You back again, Emily?' a voice called from behind the bar as she entered. 'It's like the fourth time this week, girl! What, you can't get enough of ol' Earl here?' the barman joked, tipping his head in the direction of a stocky man sat at the bar, wearing a dirty white tank top, his belly hanging out the bottom a little, and a grubby pair of sweatpants.  
'Yeah, I just can't get enough of that hobo look' Emily replied with a smirk as she slipped onto a barstool beside Earl, while the bartender placed a drink in front of her. Anyone else would be ashamed of the fact that the bartender knew her drinks order, but after a year of frequently visiting the pub, Emily was practically part of the furniture now.  
'So, what brings you here on this fine Sunday afternoon?' the barman asked as he leaned on the bar in front of Emily.  
'You know I can't get enough of your pretty face' Emily replied, looking up through her eyes lashes as she dipped her head to suck the straw into her mouth, taking a long drink from the tall glass in front of her. She hid a grimace as the first taste of strong Vodka hit the back of her throat, knowing that she would grow accustomed to the taste in a few sips.  
'Well, you know I've offered to take you out back and give you a little taste of the Dan-Man more than once. You just keep throwing me back out there though' the barman replied with a chuckle.

'And I've told you more than once, Dan. You've got a P where I'd rather see a V' Emily stated, rolling her eyes playfully. She liked Dan, he was a good guy and gave her the lift she needed, it was part of the reason she seemed to find herself strolling through the doors of this shitty pub every other day. The first time she had come here, she was barely sixteen, and with her fake I.D in hand and her heart breaking over the disappearance of the girl she loved, she needed somewhere she could cure the pain that was overwhelming her. Dan had found her sitting in a booth, crying over her Vodka soda, and his carefree attitude and cheeky charm had her laughing in a way she hadn't since Alison's disappearance a few months prior. She found herself returning a few weeks later, in need of a pick me up, and the visits had increased significantly overtime. Now she found herself here several times a week and it got harder to leave every time, knowing the second she walked out the door, all the things she was running from would come rushing back like a Freight Train, ready to knock the wind out of her.

'Yeah, and anyone who calls themselves the Dan-Man at your age, doesn't deserve to be in the company of a lady as fine as Miss Emily, here' Earl added as he took his beer from his lips and placed it on the bar.  
'Oh hey now, don't you start getting all smart Earl, when I know you're old lady's probably sitting at home shaving her lady-beard' Dan piped up, causing Emily to chuckle at the banter between the two old friends.  
'She ain't got no Lady-beard, you bastard. Clarice is a fucking queen' Earl retorted angrily, slamming his fist on the bar in emphasis.  
'A drag queen, more like' Dan replied with a cheeky grin. Emily almost spat her drink out at this. She had seem the two men slam each other down many time, but this was a new low for the two of them, and by the look in Earl's face, Emily figured that Dan had crossed a line.  
'Didn't you once hook up with a dude by mistake, Dan?' Emily wondered aloud, in an attempt to diffuse the situation a little. 'I'm sure you told me about the girl who had tits like Watermelons and legs that went for miles, and when you got her to the bedroom, she had a big, fat pair of hairy balls.' Dan went red in the face at this story, that he had told Emily a few months after she first started coming to the pub, in an effort to cheer her up. It had, Emily had laughed so hard she thought she was going to throw up. Earl howled at Emily's words, tears running down his face as he gripped his beer in his hand.  
'You fucking idiot. How you not notice the balls!?' he asked through his laughter, and Emily knew that she had safely stopped Earl from launching himself over the bar and kicking the shit out of Dan. She spent the rest of the afternoon sipping on her drinks and watching the funny exchanges between Earl and Dan, the news about Alison temporarily forgotten as she lost herself in the atmosphere of the pub that seemed to heal all wounds.

'I've been trying to call you for days, where have you been?' A knowing voice asked loudly, causing Emily to wince. She had avoided everyone for two days already, spending all her time at the pub in an attempt to block out reality, and with a killer hangover setting in, the last thing she needed was someone shouting at her.  
'Hanna, please. Not so loud' Emily groaned as she leaned against a locker, her sunglasses saving her bloodshot eyes from the bright lights of the school halls.  
'Why, someone a little hungover?' Hanna snapped, raising an eyebrow at Emily as she pulled a book from her locker and placed it into her bag.  
'No, I just have a headache' Emily replied as she massaged her temples with her fingers as she tried to concentrate on not throwing up on Hanna's shoes.  
'Bullshit Emily, you've got so much fucking vodka seeping out your pores, you smell like my Uncle Bernie' Hanna quipped as she snatched Emily's sunglasses from her face to inspect the damage. Emily tried to shade her face behind her hand, the feeling of Hanna's eyes boring into her too much to handle. 'You can't lose yourself in the bottom of a bottle because shit gets hard, Em' Hanna said a little softer, seeing the pain in her friend's eyes.  
'I'm not, I just needed to let loose a little, that's all' Emily insisted, grabbing her sunglasses back from Hanna and placing them back on.  
'Right, well when you're done letting loose and you decide to actually deal with your shit, then call me, ok?' Hanna sighed, her eyes filled with pity and sympathy, and Emily hated it. She was sick of people looking at her like she was about to break, sick of being the girl whose best friend was missing, and now dead. She just wanted to be plain old Emily Fields again.

'Hey guys!' a voice broke the tension, though the owner of said voice looked far from happy, since she was one of The Rosewood Four. The four girls that were known around the whole damn country for being the friends of a missing girl, and the last to see her before she disappeared.  
'Hey, Spencer' Hanna greeted glumly, and for a second Emily felt bad because she knew she wasn't the only one hurting over the recent revelation of their friend's death, but she was the only one who had more than just a friendship with the girl. The relationship they shared, though secret, was filled with pure, unconditional love, and having it snatched away so brutally was unbearable. Emily didn't know how to handle losing that kind of love, and with nobody to turn to, Emily felt like she was drowning.  
'So um, are we all ready for today? It's going to be tough but we can get through it if we stick together' Spencer said awkwardly and Emily could see the bags under the taller girl's eyes, indicating that she too hadn't slept.  
'I've never been less ready for anything in my life' Emily replied, her voice husking as she spoke. Spencer looked at her in concern, her eyes pinching as she looked down at her.

'God, I feel like I'm in a freaking circus and I'm the main attraction of the freak show' Aria exclaimed as she joined the group, looking back at the groups of students that had stared her down the hall. The attention hadn't gone unnoticed by any of the group and they figured that their day would only get worse as news broke that they had returned to school already.  
'Totally should have called in sick today' Hanna mumbled to herself, earning a pointed look from Spencer.  
'No! Guys, we can get through this. We knew it'd be crazy when we came back, but the longer we left it, the harder it would be. It'll fizzle out in a few days, we've just gotta grin and bare it' Spencer insisted.  
'Speak for yourself' Emily replied as she crossed her arms over her chest and sighed, glaring through her glasses at a guy across the hall, who hadn't stopped staring at her and whispering to his friend since she had arrived at her locker. 'You want a picture?' Emily shouted at him angrily, causing the two students to look away and disperse down the hall.  
'Emily, that's not going to help' Aria stated softly as she rubbed Emily's arm, causing Emily to roll her eyes.  
'Whatever' Emily snapped as she pushed herself from the locker and made her way down the hall to her first period, the bell ringing just seconds later. Spencer and Aria looked at each other in confusion before turning to Hanna.  
'Don't look at me, I'm not her keeper' Hanna said as she slammed her locker shut and the group made their way to their first class of the day.

The whole week went by like that, and Emily found it harder and harder to drag herself out of bed. It was made harder by the fact that Hanna had invited herself over almost every morning that week in order to make sure Emily went to school. Each morning she would give Emily the same disapproving look as her hangovers grew more intense as the week went on. Reality was biting her so hard in the ass, that Emily had found herself driving straight to the pub each evening after school, using studying and hanging out at Hanna's as an excuse to her parents to hide her drinking habit.  
'You realise that you don't have to drive me to school, I can drive myself' Emily sighed one morning when Hanna insisted on driving them, frustrated because it meant that she would have to come up with another plan to get to the pub later on.  
'If you seriously think I'm letting you drive, you must be high as well as drunk right now' Hanna snapped as she put the car into drive and pulled away from the house.  
'I'm not drunk, Hanna' Emily replied feebly, knowing that if the spinning in her head was anything to go by, then she was indeed still drunk as hell.  
'Honestly, I'm pretty much past the point of being pissed at you, and I'm kind of impressed that you managed to go this long without getting caught, and you were ballsy enough to stand and talk to your Mom there without her having the faintest clue that you're topped up on Jack Daniels right now' Hanna stated with a small chuckle. As worried as she was about Emily's drinking, she had to admit, the girl had balls. Hanna looked over to see if Emily was going to reply, but the brunette was sitting silently with her head leaned back into the seat and her eyes closed.

'If you throw up in my car, Emily Fields, you'll be a dead woman' Hanna warned, before fixing her eyes back onto the road.  
'I won't throw up' Emily croaked in response, though she wasn't sure herself whether she was telling the truth or not. Her stomach felt like a washing machine and with Hanna's erratic driving, Emily was worried that she'd be seeing the copious amounts of alcohol from the night before. She didn't relax until they were safely at a stop in the school parking lot, at which point her body propelled out the door as she doubled over and violently threw up, causing Hanna to grimace.  
'Jesus Christ, Emily' Hanna groaned from the driver's seat, as Emily perched on her seat and leaned into her knees while she threw up on the asphalt. 'You better shape up quick, sweet cheeks, because Spencer's on her way over and you don't wanna get a side of Hasting's ass whopping this morning' Hanna added, causing Emily to groan. The last thing she needed was Spencer to lecture her on the dangers of underage drinking, especially on a school night. Emily grabbed a tissue from her bag and wiped her mouth before popping in a few pieces of gum to mask the smell of vomit and alcohol from her breath.

'Em, are you ok?' Spencer asked in concern, having seen her being sick from across the lot.  
'Yeah, I just have an upset stomach' Emily replied as she stood herself up, dodging the vomit carefully. Spencer nodded in response, her eyebrow raised suspiciously.  
'I'll meet you inside, I'm going to park somewhere other than beside Emily's stomach lining' Hanna informed them as she pulled the car into reverse and headed off in search of another space, leaving Emily and Spencer to head over to the school building alone.  
'You sure you're ok?' Spencer asked after a few seconds of silence.  
'Yeah, I told you already, I just ate some bad chicken or something' Emily sighed, wishing that Spencer would drop the topic of conversation and they could walk in silence, because her head was pounding and her stomach was still swishing, and with every step she took, Emily was fighting everything to keep herself from throwing up again.  
'Ok well, let me know if you need to go home or anything. I can drive you' Spencer replied, her mind still piecing things together. It hadn't gone unnoticed how distant Emily had been since the news of Alison's body being found, and Spencer hadn't failed to see how the brunette was deteriorating every day, and then this morning Hanna had driven her in and Emily was throwing up in the parking lot. Spencer had her suspicions, but she wasn't about to accuse Emily of anything, not until she had more proof anyway.  
'I'll be fine' Emily mumbled in response as she wondered to herself if the walk across the lot was always this long, or whether it just felt particularly long today.

'So, the funeral is tomorrow' Spencer said lamely, her eyes fixed on Emily still.  
'Yep' Emily replied, her lips popping on the end sound.  
'You going?'  
'No'  
Spencer's eyebrows shot up in surprise. They hadn't talked about it, not really anyway, but Spencer assumed that the whole group would be going to the funeral. How could they miss it?  
'Why?' She asked, a demanding edge to her tone.  
'Because I don't wanna sit in a room and listen to people talk to us about our friend. People that didn't even like her when she was alive, yet have the audacity to stand in a fucking church and cry their fake fucking tears, while they reminisce about all their fucking fake stories with our fucking friend' Emily replied, her voice raising as she got angrier and angrier at the picture. She was angry at the people that had come crawling out of the wood works since Alison had gone missing. People that barely knew Alison, yet claimed to be her best friend. Guys who claimed to have loved her, because she made out with them that one time and then didn't give them the time of day after. All these people that would get to stand and tell their favourite moments of a girl they barely knew, and yet she couldn't share her memories with Alison. She couldn't tell anyone about how Alison would hold her at night when they had their sleep overs, or how she loved that her skin smelt of coconut oil. Emily couldn't tell anyone about the things they would do in the dark, away from prying eyes, and quite frankly it pissed her off. She was angry that Alison had gone missing in the first place. Angry that Alison had died, and left her with all these memories that she couldn't share. Memories that haunted her every second of every hour.  
'Emily' Spencer breathed, and there it was again. That look of pity that everyone looked at her with and Emily was sick of it. Spencer placed her hand on Emily's arm, wanting to comfort her friend.  
'Get off of me' Emily yelled as she pushed Spencer's hand away and turned away from the school, marching straight out onto the street without looking back. Ignoring Spencer's calls for her to come back, Emily knew where she was heading without even thinking about it.

'Emily? Little early for you to be here, isn't it?' Dan questioned from his car, when he spotted the brunette standing outside of the doors of the closed pub.  
'Well, it's 5 O'clock somewhere, right?' Emily replied with a fake smile, desperate for a taste of the elixir that would take away her feelings. She was sick of feeling, sick of the emotion because all that brought was pain and Emily couldn't take any more pain. Dan turned off his car and stepped out, curiosity and concern written all over his face. He hadn't failed to notice that the brunette seemed to be around a lot more than usual lately, and each time she seemed to be drinking more than the last.  
'Not in Pennsylvania it's not' he replied, trying his best to make a joke.  
'Look, you going to give me a drink or not? Because I can find a dozen other bars that can serve up a watered down Jack and Coke and probably at half the price you charge' Emily huffed with her arms across her chest. Dan pursed his lips in thought as he swung his keys around his finger, pondering Emily's words. He didn't feel exactly comfortable about serving the brunette, but he also didn't like the thought of her getting wasted somewhere else where she could come into danger or hurt herself. At least if she was here, he could keep an eye on her and maybe switch out a few drinks before she got too wasted, which he had found himself doing a fair amount lately.  
'Come on' Dan sighed hesitantly, waving Emily to follow him inside. As they made their way into the dark pub, Emily pulled a bar stool from the bar and placed it onto the ground before taking a seat, leaning on her elbow while she waited for Dan to open up and make her a drink. She looked around at the quiet bar, the atmosphere so different to the other times she had been here. It was never the rowdiest of places, but it had life and you could feel the fun in the air the second you walked in, but today it felt cold and empty and it creeped Emily out a little as she sat there. The lack of noise failed to deafen the thoughts in her head, which was something that kept her coming back time and time again.

Emily jumped out of her thoughts when a glass was placed down in front of her. When she looked up to see Dan's warm eyes and the cold drink in front of her, she gave him a small smile before grasping the glass and placing it to her lips. She fought through the burn of the Vodka as she knocked the drink back in one, smacking her lips once she had drained the glass of its contents, and placed it back on the bar. Dan watched silently, not wanting to say anything to spook the clearly vulnerable brunette in front of him.  
'Another' Emily requested, avoiding eye contact. Dan froze for a moment, unsure whether he should comply to Emily's request or not. Knowing that she would flee if he denied her another drink, Dan sighed and poured her another, making sure to make the measure smaller than average.  
'So, what's going on?' Dan asked as he placed the second drink in front of Emily. Emily sat, biting her lip in thought as she clasped her hands around the cold glass, contemplating whether she should finally open up to Dan.  
'My friend's funeral is tomorrow, and my other friends think I should go' she finally said quietly, her eyes trained on the drink in front of her.  
'And you don't think you should?' Dan questioned, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. Dan didn't know anything about her personal life, only the fun, kind hearted girl that she let him see whenever she was here, but he knew that there was something bubbling under the surface.  
'No, I don't' Emily sighed as she took a drink, her eyes still looking anywhere other than at the man standing on the other side of the bar. 'If I go, then I'm accepting that Alison is really gone and that's not something that I'm ready to accept yet.'

Dan stood in silence for a few moments, allowing Emily's words to sink in. Suddenly, the brunette made total sense to him and he felt an overwhelming urge to help her and protect her from the pain that was so clear in her golden eyes.  
'Look, I know that we know each other pretty well. I mean, don't know much about you personally, but I feel like we know each other well enough for me to say this to you' Dan started, an uneasy feeling settling in his stomach. He didn't want to say anything that might upset Emily, but he also wanted to help her and she didn't seem like the sort of girl that would benefit from someone pussy-footing around her. 'I can see that you're hurting, and I'm guessing that's why you're here right now, but alcohol is not the answer. You can't run away from your feelings, because one day they will catch up to you and they'll bite you in the ass in ways you couldn't even imagine. Trust me, I've been there and it's not pretty.' Dan silenced, waiting for Emily to talk or even look at him, but she sat quietly, still staring at her drink, as she pondered over Dan's words. She knew that he was talking sense, the logical part of her brain telling her to listen to him and fight through the pain instead of running from it, but at this point in life, running was all she knew. She hated the way her heart felt like it was in the pit of her stomach and the way her eyes wanted to cry entire oceans for Alison.

'I can't do it. It's too hard' Emily finally mumbled as she swirled the Ice in her glass.  
'If you don't go to the funeral, you'll regret missing your chance to say goodbye. It might not be right away, but you will regret it, that much I can promise you' Dan said softly. To say he was concerned for Emily was an understatement. He liked the brunette and he hated that she seemed so lost in herself. 'I can come with you, if you'd like me to' he offered, causing Emily to look up with large, vulnerable eyes and Dan was pretty sure in that moment, that he'd use his own Mother as a human shield to protect her, if he had to.  
'It's ok. If I go, then it's something I need to do alone. But, thank you' Emily replied with a small smile.

'Hey, guys' Aria greeted Hanna and Spencer solemnly, her eyes already brimming with tears as she looked around at all of the people around them, all dressed in black and looking equally sombre.  
'Hey' Hanna replied as she scooted beside Aria.  
'No, Emily?' Spencer asked, her tone filled with disappointment and concern, as she looked around for the brunette.  
'No, she's not here yet. Maybe she's just running a little late' Aria responded with a shrug, causing Hanna and Spencer to look to each other knowingly.  
'Somehow, I don't think she's going to be here' Spencer replied with a sigh. She knew something was going on with her friend, she just wished Emily would open up and talk to her so she could help. Instead, it seemed like Emily was expressing her pain in other ways, and Spencer couldn't help but feel the other brunette was on a single handed path to self-destruction.

Emily settled on a bench across from the white church, watching as the flock of people dressed in black, began to filter into the building. She felt numb, as though she was watching the funeral of a stranger. She unscrewed the cap from the bottle of Whisky in her hand and tipped it back, embracing the burn in her throat as she guzzled at the brown liquid. She was already feeling the buzz, having been drinking from the same bottle for a little over an hour, just to give herself the courage to even enter the vicinity of the church where her best friend and former lover, was about to be buried forever. Emily thought of Alison, lying in the cold, dark ground. Her beautiful face crumbling into dust over time and her long, blonde hair becoming one with the earth that surrounded her. It was almost beautiful, to think of Alison becoming a part of the very ground she walked on. It wasn't right though, Alison should be there with her. Alison had promised her forever, and yet they had had little to no time at all, and the thought of it hurt so god damn much that Emily felt as though she was suffocating. She could barely breathe with how her heart ached for just one more touch, one more look at those perfectly pillowed lips and ocean blue eyes that you couldn't help but get lost in.

Spencer, Hanna and Aria sat in the second row of the church, behind Alison's parents and brother Jason. None of them had known what to say to the DiLaurentis family. What do you say to someone who has lost someone so brutally and tragically, especially when you don't even know how to comprehend it yourself?

'My dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to honour the life of Alison DiLaurentis-'

The words of the vicar were drowned out by the raw sobs of Jessica DiLaurentis, and Hanna was sure she had never heard anyone cry quite like that before. She had never heard someone's heart physically breaking, and she was sure she never wanted to hear it again, positive that the sounds of those cries would stay with her for a long, long time.

'-many of us have been deeply hurt by the sudden loss of such a bright, outgoing young lady-'

Spencer felt like her stomach was in her throat as she listened to the droning words of the vicar, her eyes brimming with tears as the sudden reality of the situation hit her. She looked around to see that Hanna and Aria also had tears streaming down their faces and the three of them clutched hands for support, all needing each other in that moment, and Spencer's mind suddenly went to Emily. She was out there somewhere, suffering alone and with no one to hold on to, and Spencer had to do everything not to bolt out the door and find her.

'Today is a day for us to share the memories we have of Alison, and celebrate the life she lived-'

Aria blinked through her tears, trying to stifle the sob that wanted to break out. She couldn't be the girl who broke down at Alison's funeral, not with the reporters and news crews that hung around outside of the church, waiting to snap shots of the mourners at the funeral of infamous missing teen Alison DiLaurentis. It made her sick that this whole situation had become a media circus, vultures flying everywhere just waiting to grab a scoop.

'I know that today is a sad day, but I hope at the end of this farewell ceremony for Alison, that you will feel glad that you took the opportunity to do some of your grieving in the presence of others who have known and loved her'

The church door clicked open and Spencer turned at the faint sound of shoes walking down the narrow aisle. Her eyes widened when she saw Emily, dressed in a t-shirt and jeans, her eyes swollen and red-rimmed, as she staggered through the church with tears streaming down her face. Spencer nudged Aria beside her, who turned and gasped at the sight of their friend, who looked like she had truly hit breaking point. When more people in the church began to turn and gasp, Hanna turned to see what was going on, her heart breaking even more at the sight of Emily and she willed to reach out and grab her. Hold her in her arms and rock her like a baby until all the pain went away.

Emily staggered through the church, her head spinning from the Whisky that she still clutched in her hand. Her heart was shattering and the alcohol wasn't helping anymore, it didn't blanket the pain like it usually did. She stared at the large picture of Alison's smiling face, anger filling her that she would never see that smile again. Never hear that lilting laugh that she loved so much. Never again would she love the love she had for Alison, because she was sure that nothing could repair the damage that her heart was going through right now.  
'Why did you leave me' she whispered through her tears, her voice breaking and her words slurring as she reached closer to the top of the church. Emily wasn't sure if she was unaware of the eyes that bored into her back, or simply didn't care. Either way, it was just she and Alison right now and Emily had things she needed to get off of her chest, things she needed to talk about before she truly broke.  
'We were supposed to be together forever and you left me here alone' she sobbed as she fell to her knees beside the casket. Spencer, Aria and Hanna all looked to each other before jumping up from their seats.  
'I loved you, Ali. I loved you so fucking much. Please come back to me' Emily begged, and she couldn't see anything anymore, her eyes stinging with the hot tears that poured out of them.

'Em' she heard a soft voice, but she didn't want anyone. Nobody but Alison, anyway.  
'I promise you, Ali. I'll never stop loving you. I'll never love anyone but you' Emily sobbed as she felt a set of arms wrap around her and pull her into a hug, before pulling her away.  
'No! Get off of me!' she screamed, fighting against the invisible stranger, the person who was taking her away from Alison. 'Ali, come back to me! Get off of me!' She screamed as more hands held onto her, fighting against her to pull her further away from Alison, until she was outside of the church and lying in a heap on the grass. She wasn't aware of the cameras that flashed in her direction, just the three bodies that pressed against her on the grass as a broken sob escaped her lips, and once that first one finally cracked, Emily couldn't control it. Her body shook and hurt as she sobbed into the three people holding onto her.  
'Em, we're here. It's ok' Hanna hushed into her hair as she placed a gentle kiss to her temple. Hanna was pretty sure that if hearing Jessica DiLaurentis sob was haunting, then seeing Emily like this was even more so.

'I loved her, I loved her so much' Emily sobbed as she clung to the blonde, suddenly unaware of the other two girls beside them.  
'I know, we all loved her' Hanna hushed back as she held Emily close to her, brushing tear-soaked hair out of Emily's face.  
'No, I loved her. I loved her as more than a friend' Emily explained through choked sobs, and suddenly everything fell into place for the other three girls. They had always known that Emily and Alison were closer than any of the rest of them. They were always having sleepovers alone and hanging out together, whispering and disappearing, but Hanna, Aria and Spencer had never imagined that they were in a relationship. When put into perspective, the girls knew that they should have watched over Emily more, helped her through the grief and pain that she was feeling, because Spencer's suspicions had been confirmed today. Emily was using alcohol to help her grieve and she was well on her way to developing a problem, if she hadn't already.  
'Emily, how much of this did you drink?' Spencer asked cautiously as she took the practically empty bottle of Whisky that was lying on the ground beside them and eyed it. Emily looked down at the ground, shame washing over her as Spencer, Hanna and Aria looked to her.  
'You know this isn't the answer, Em' Aria hushed sympathetically, as she rubbed her hand along Emily's back comfortingly, while the brunette still remained huddled into Hanna's chest. The movements of her friends were helping to calm her and her sobs had subsided, leaving only silent tears rolling down her cheeks.  
'I'm sorry' Emily whispered in response, her voice hurting from all the crying she had done. Emily knew that her friends were right, she couldn't rely on alcohol to get her through this. She had to face the pain she was feeling, and she would need her friends by her side to help her do that.

Over the next few days, Hanna, Aria and Spencer took it in turns to stay with Emily at all times, none of them wanting to leave her alone for too long in case she needed them. It had been hard for all of them, watching their friend on the verge of a break down. Emily barely ate, slept or spoke, she was practically a shell of her former, bubbly self. This was only made worse by the fact that Emily's breakdown at the funeral had managed to hit the news, with pictures of her outside of the church crying on the cover of several major tabloids. Spencer had spent that morning running around rosewood in an effort to rid the stores of as many copies as possible, not wanting Emily to find out that the pictures had been printed, but Emily's Mom had gotten there before her and bought a copy. The older Fields woman had approached Emily about the subject, and Emily had barely spoken to anybody since that day.

'Hey, sexy lady. I brought snacks' Hanna stated happily as she dropped down onto the couch beside Emily, who was stiff in the same clothes she had been in the two days previously, and was wrapped up in a blanket. Emily's interest peaked for a second, only to waiver again quickly. 'Really? You don't want anything? I bought your favourite' Hanna replied to Emily's lack of response, as she waved a pint of Ben and Jerry's Cookie Dough Ice cream at the brunette. Emily rolled her eyes and let out a small smile as she took the carton and spoon from Hanna.  
'Thanks' she replied as she took the lid from the top.  
'No worries, I've got you and you're junk food needs' Hanna replied with a smile as she dug her own spoon into the ice cream. 'So, how're you feeling today?'  
'Pretty much the same as yesterday' Emily sighed sadly as she looked down into the tub of ice cream. Her heart physically hurt at the loss of Alison, and Emily knew that it wouldn't go away for a very long time, if ever. But she had promised the girls that she would curb the drinking, and they had made sure that she wasn't alone for long enough that she could even be tempted to run to the nearest bar. She hadn't told them that she had almost slipped up a few times already. She felt the urge pulling her and she wanted to see Dan, since he was the only person who seemed to make her forget for long enough that she could stop the pain, but she figured even he wouldn't be able to help now. Her grief had gone too far.

'Em, can I ask you something?' Hanna asked cautiously. Emily looked up, silently signalling her to continue. 'Why didn't you tell us? About you and Ali?' Emily had known that this question would be asked sooner or later, and it didn't surprise her that Hanna would be the one to ask.  
'We didn't want anyone to know, Ali especially. We were scared, we weren't ready to tell anyone' Emily answered with a sigh. 'We were going to tell people, but then Ali-' Emily started to feel the burn in the back of her throat and her eyes brimmed with tears. She let out a shuddering breath as she tried to keep them in, but Hanna pulled her in for a hug and Emily felt that final barrier break back down, releasing the floods of tears that she somehow still had left inside of her.  
'It's ok, I've got you' Hanna hushed against her head as Emily gripped to her.  
'I'm sorry' Emily cried into Hanna's dress, the pain overwhelming her.  
'No, I'm sorry. I should have been there for you more. But I'm not going anywhere now, you're stuck with me. Even if you do smell like you just crawled out of a trash can' Hanna joked, causing Emily to chuckle lightly through her tears.

'Yeah, I should really take a shower' Emily stated with a sigh.  
'Want me to help you? I can shampoo your hair? I mean, I know you're into chicks now, so don't get the wrong idea. I just want to help' Hanna joked, liking that she was making Emily smile.  
'I'm ok, I can shower myself. Besides, just an F.Y.I, I'm not even remotely attracted to you. No offence' Emily replied with a smile as she rose up from the couch. Hanna mocked offence at Emily's comment.  
'What!? What do you mean you're not attracted to me? I'm hot, Emily, and don't you forget it!' Hanna yelled after Emily, as the brunette left the room and headed to the shower. Hanna grabbed the tub of Ice Cream and sat back in the couch, smiling at herself for the good job she had done. She had successfully pulled Emily out of the vegetative state she had been in for almost a week, and made her smile and laugh. Hanna knew that Emily still had a long road ahead of her, after all she was still struggling to keep away from drink and how on Earth do you even get over the loss of your first love anyway? But, they were taking steps in the right direction, and there was no way in hell Hanna was going to let her slip backwards again.


	2. 8 Years Later

Emily woke to the feeling of a warm body curled into her, blonde hair feathered across the pillow as the girl beside her slept. She looked down at the pale, freckled beauty beside her and smiled at the night they had shared together. How the girl beside her had made her feel alive again. She let out a soft chuckle as she remembered how she had made the girl scream her name over and over again, those blue eyes squeezing tightly shut as she came hard over and over again onto Emily's fingers.  
'Morning' a voice croaked, and Emily looked down and smiled to the girl in her arms.  
'Good morning sleepy head' she replied as she leaned down and brushed her lips against the other girls, deepening it when she got an appreciative moan. Emily wasn't one for breakfast, but she could sure chow down on this girl. She rolled them over so that she was leaning on top of the other girl, holding her body weight as the blonde sank into the pillows, her moans causing arousal to pool between Emily's legs. Emily glanced up at the clock, realising she only had Fifteen minutes until Hanna would be banging down her door. Fifteen minutes was more than enough time for her to get the job done. She trailed her kisses down, lowering her mouth to the place she knew that would make the girl scream her name in the quickest time.

'Oh god, Emily' the blonde sighed as she rolled away from Emily ten minutes later, her body still shaking from the intense orgasm she had just endured.  
'Just a little something to keep you thinking of me today' Emily husked into her ear, pulling her lobe in between her teeth before pulling away and rolling out of the bed. She began to dress as the blonde looked at her from the bed.  
'You really don't have time to go once more?' the blonde asked, pouting her perfect lips and fluttering her long, dark lashes.  
'Afraid not, babe' Emily replied as she looked over her shoulder at the blonde, who was still naked in the bed. 'I have to work this morning, so I have to get ready and leave' she hinted, hoping the girl would get her ass up and get dressed.  
'Oh, ok' she sighed as she rolled off of the bed and began to gather her clothes that were strewn across the floor. Once they were both dressed, Emily made her coffee to go, she wasn't a total monster after all, and showed her to the door.  
'Thank you for a great night, Emily' she blonde husked, pulling Emily into a searing kiss. Emily moaned into her mouth before breaking apart.  
'No, thank you' she replied, before leaning in to peck her on the lips one last time.  
'You've got my number, right?'  
'Of course. I'll call you this evening when I get home from work' Emily replied with a smile. Suddenly the door opened and Emily was met face to face with an entirely different blonde. This blonde stood in the doorway with her arms crossed over her chest and her eyebrow raised questioningly, and Emily wished she had gotten the girl out sooner.  
'I better go' said the blonde by her side, as she skittered away, looking at the blonde in the door way with wide, scared eyes before she shuffled out the door.  
'Hey, Hanna' Emily greeted with a smirk, knowing full well that the blonde had thought that Hanna was her girlfriend and she was about to get her ass kicked. That saved her the slight bit of guilt she would feel for not calling the girl tonight, as promised.

'So, what's her name?' Hanna asked as she entered the small studio apartment, throwing herself down onto the couch as Emily made her way over to the small kitchenette and poured a cup of coffee.  
'Um, I think it was something beginning with a 'T'. Taylor?' Emily pinched her brows together in thought as she tried to think of what the girl had told her that night. She made her way across to the sofa and sat beside Hanna, handing her a cup of coffee. Hanna chuckled and shook her head at her friend's actions.  
'You're such a dog, Emily Fields' she stated as she blew into her mug.  
'I'm not looking for someone to marry, Hanna' Emily replied as she clasped her own cup and tucked her feet beneath her.  
'No, just someone to fill the bed at night' Hanna chuckled. 'Seriously though, you need to cool it with the blondes, it's getting a bit disturbing bumping into all these girls that you're banging, and they all look the fucking same'  
'I'm sorry that I have a type' Emily retorted, rolling her eyes as she took a sip of her coffee. She yelped out as she burned her tongue on the scalding hot liquid, causing Hanna to laugh.  
'Guess that puts you out of action for 2 to 3 days' Hanna joked, earning herself a glare from Emily.  
'What are you doing here so early, anyway? It's like, 7am' Emily questioned, glancing at the clock.  
'I want what every girl wants at 7am, Emily' Hanna replied flirtatiously, causing Emily to raise a questioning eyebrow. 'Bacon!' Hanna added with a smirk, knowing full well what she had been implying in her previous statement.

'Good morning, Emily' the brunette receptionist greeted with a pearly, white smile.  
'Hey, good looking. What does my clinic look like today?' Emily asked as she stopped at the reception desk to grab her mail from the post tray. The receptionist turned to the computer screen and began clicking with her mouse.  
'Well, you've got Miss Turner in first at 9, a half hour free slot, followed by Mr Pickens at 10, Mrs Brunswick at 10:30 and then the staff meeting at 11:00. It's a pretty quiet day in all' the receptionist replied. Emily nodded her head happily as she flicked through the remaining mail.  
'Ok, thanks Sophia' Emily replied as she placed back the mail that didn't belong to her, grabbed her own and headed into her consultant room. She flicked on the lights and moved over to her desk, hitting the power button on the computer and placing her mail down.  
'Miss Turner. Should be fun' she said to herself with a smirk.

'Good morning, Miss Turner. How are you feeling today?' Emily asked as she showed the young woman into her room, signalling for her to take a seat on the hospital bed that was placed to the side.  
'Please, call me Laura' the blonde replied with a smile as she slid herself onto the high bed. 'I'm doing ok. I've had a little stiffness in my knee the past few days, but nothing too bad' Emily moved in to inspect the woman's right knee, her eyes drawing up the woman's leg until they reach a pair of tiny, lycra gym shorts that were stretched around the woman's upper thighs.  
'Ok, let's see if we can fix that' Emily said softly. She gently took the woman's ankle into her hand and began to flex and bend the woman's leg to stretch out the joint. 'How does that feel?' she asked, looking up into the brightest blue eyes she'd ever seen.  
'It feels good' Laura replied with a smile, which Emily returned.  
'Ok, I'm just going to test the strength of the joint. Can you lie back for me?' Emily asked, letting go of the woman's ankle so she could turn onto the bed and lie back. Emily stood at the end of the bed and placed the woman's foot flat down and resting just behind her butt so that her knee was in the air, before tucking her fingers behind her calf. She could feel the muscles rippling beneath her fingers as she gently pushed her thumbs just below the knee cap and gave a few gentle tugs.  
'Feels ok to me. Ok, so I'm going to give you a few new exercises to do. I want you to do them twice a day if you can' Emily explained as she moved away from the woman. 'If you hop off of the bed, I'll show you how to do them.' Emily moved across the room and pulled out a soft mat, placing it onto the floor space of the room.

'Ok, I want you down on your hands and knees, like this' Emily showed Laura, getting herself into the position on the floor beside the mat. Laura obliged and knelt down onto her hands and knees on the mat. Emily sat and observed her position, before adjusting her slightly.  
'Your arms need to be shoulder width apart' she instructed, gently guiding the woman's arm into the correct place, before looking up through thick lashes. Emily could feel the arousal pouring off of the woman, whose face was now inches from her own. Emily seductively bit down on her bottom lip, her go to move that seemed to drive the girls of New York City wild. She smirked as the blonde began to move in closer, but Emily moved away before she could make that first move. She rounded the woman and settled behind her, placing her hands on the woman's thighs to gently guide her knees apart.  
'You're knees need to be level with your hips' she explained, her hands still resting on Laura's toned thighs.  
'Ok' the woman choked out a response, and Emily could practically feel the heat radiating from her. Emily ran her hand along the back of the other woman's thigh, until stopping just below her ass. Her thumb grazed along the inside of Laura's leg, causing the woman to gasp.

Emily observed Laura's perfectly tight ass and couldn't stop herself from reaching out to touch it. She brought her hand up and ran it over the curve from Laura's ass to her hip, before dipping it down between her legs, causing the woman to whimper. Emily moaned softly at the wetness that was seeping through the thin material of her shorts. Emily was usually very professional with patients and would never even think of sleeping with them, but Laura had been coming to her for months now and had been progressively flirtatious and suggestive each time. She had started coming in sweatpants and a t-shirt, but now she came for her appointments in tiny gym shorts and cropped tops, and Emily would have to be a fucking nun to resist her.  
'You like that?' Emily asked as she continued to ghost her hand along Laura's centre, brushing above the tight material of her shorts.  
'Uh-huh' the woman moaned, her head hung low as she remained in her position. Emily smirked and pulled her hand away, reaching to the waistband of the shorts, before slowly pulling them down the woman's legs. She rose an eyebrow when she saw that Laura wasn't wearing any underwear.  
'Someone was hoping to get lucky today' she chuckled, as she lowered the shorts to pool around the woman's knees, before moving closer to the blonde's ass and placing her hand back between her legs. She moaned a little at the feeling of the wetness that resided there.

Emily leaned against the wall with a cigarette between her lips. She had taken up the habit a good few years ago as a coping mechanism. It seemed to help, and though her friends weren't happy about it, she wasn't drinking herself into oblivion anymore, so they didn't get onto her too much about it.  
'Hey, Smokey' Hanna greeted as she walked along the sidewalk and stopped beside Emily.  
'Hey, hot stuff' Emily countered with a smile as she pushed herself off of the wall and stood up straight.  
'Oh Emily Fields, such a charmer' Hanna chuckled, causing Emily to laugh and roll her eyes as she took a drag from her cigarette. 'I really wish you'd quit that, it's disgusting. Eventually, your lungs are going to look like an old boot that got dragged out of a river after 20 years' Hanna stated.  
'Shut up, Han' Emily replied as she tossed her cigarette onto the ground and stamped it out. 'Where are the others?'  
'Spencer texted me about twenty minutes ago to say they were on their way, so they shouldn't be too long now' Hanna replied as she pulled her phone from her purse to see if she had any other messages.  
'Ok, well do you want to get a drink while we wait?' Emily offered. Hanna froze for a second before nodding.  
'Yeah, ok. A drink could be good' Hanna stated with a small nod of her head.

The two women walked into the restaurant and took seats at the bar, instantly grabbing the attention of the bartender.  
'Hey, what can I get you ladies?' the redheaded woman asked with a smile.  
'I'll take a large Pinot Grigio' Hanna replied as she grabbed her wallet from her bag.  
'Ok, and what can I get for you?' she turned to Emily.  
'Um, just an iced water please' Emily replied with a polite smile. The bartender double took at Emily's response, causing her to brace herself for the barrage of questions.  
'Oh, I totally pegged you for a Whisky girl' the bartender replied in her thick Brooklyn accent.  
'Nope, never liked the stuff' Emily lied, her fake smile plastered on her face to stop the lie from showing.  
'I'm usually so good at guessing people's drinks' the woman replied, and Emily wasn't entirely sure whether the woman was flirting or just extremely over friendly.  
'Look, Ginger Rogers. My friend here said that she wants a glass of water. She doesn't want to be interrogated about it, she just wants to drink the damn thing. Now can you kindly please shut your hole and get our drinks?' Hanna interrupted, her eyebrow raised challengingly, earning herself a dirty look from the bartender in response. Emily smirked at the blonde, she was fiercely protective of Emily, especially when it came to her drinking habits. Emily had stopped drinking almost 6 years ago, and Hanna had kept her on the straight and narrow, but New York wasn't the city for people who were T-Total and recovering alcoholics, especially people like Emily, who liked to go out and have fun and hook up with random girls. Many girls had tried to buy her drinks, and Emily had offended a few good looking girls by refusing those drinks.  
'Thank you' Hanna huffed, when the two drinks were slammed on the table by the bartender and Hanna shoved her Credit Card at the woman.  
'Ok, you can simmer down now' Emily said to Hanna in amusement, causing Hanna to smile and roll her eyes.

'Hey, ladies' Spencer greeted as she and Aria headed towards them at the bar. Emily didn't miss the way Spencer's eyes fell on her drink instantly, before flitting away again when she spotted it was water. Even after almost 6 years, her friends were still watching her, only Aria and Hanna were a little more trusting and discreet than Spencer was. Emily lifted her glass and took a sip of her water, purely to prove to Spencer that she wasn't drinking anything she shouldn't. She really did wish that the taller woman had a little more faith in her, though she could hardly blame the other woman, after the hell she put them through after Alison's funeral.  
'Hey!' Hanna and Emily greeted them together.  
'Shall we grab a table?' Spencer suggested, looking around at the group. 'Aria?' she offered to the shorter brunette, who currently had her eyes glued to her phone.  
'Huh? What? Table, yeah' Aria replied as she clicked her phone screen off and shoved it back in her bag. The four girls headed across the restaurant and slipped into a booth with Hanna and Emily one side, and Aria and Spencer the other.

'So, Aria. How is living with Spencer now that Toby has practically moved in?' Emily asked curiously as she sipped on her water.  
'He hasn't practically moved in, he's there like twice a week' Spencer argued as she looked over the menu.  
'Yeah right, then why did I see that half your closet is full of his clothes?' Hanna asked, as she too looked over the menu.  
'When was you in my closet?' Spencer asked, looking up over the booklet in her hands, her brow furrowed in confusion.  
'Last week. I needed something new to wear, and Aria didn't have anything so I searched through yours as a last resort. I don't know why I even bothered' Hanna replied casually, not looking up from the menu. Emily hid a snicker at Hanna's words, seeing the shock on Aria and Spencer's faces.  
'You can't just go into people's closets, Hanna!' Spencer half-shouted.  
'I thought I recognised those earrings! You went into my jewellery box?' Aria questioned. Meanwhile, Emily and Hanna side eyed each other, both trying to contain their laughter.  
'Hey, she hits up my closet all the time' Emily stated, whilst still trying to hold back her smile.  
'Yeah, I do! Hanna replied loudly with a laugh at the unintended gay joke, causing Emily to almost spit water out of her nose.  
'I love me some Caramel Latte' Hanna added as she playfully winked at Emily. Spencer and Aria rolled their eyes at Emily and Hanna, before Spencer leaned back to grab the waiter's attention.

The waiter headed over to the table and took the girls orders, breaking the conversation. By the time they had all ordered their food and drinks, the topic of Hanna's secret closet raiding had been partially forgotten.  
'So, I'm going to a new club that's opening tonight. You guys want to join me?' Hanna asked, looking around at the group as she sipped on her wine.  
'I can't, my parents are coming into the city tomorrow morning' Aria explained apologetically.  
'I'm sure Ella and Byron won't mind you being a little hungover' Hanna countered.  
'Hanna, what have we told you about calling out parents by their first names' Emily warned with a playful glare, causing Hanna to shrug.  
'What about you, Miss Lawyer?' Hanna asked Spencer. 'You gonna finally get out your nose out of Law textbooks and come have some fun with us?' Spencer paused for a minute, a thoughtful look on her face before she sighed.  
'Yeah, I guess. I don't have anything planned tomorrow and Toby's working' she replied, causing Hanna to mock a shocked expression.  
'You hear that Em? Spencer is actually going to live like a normal 24 year old!' Hanna laughed. 'How 'bout you, pretty girl? You game for a night out with us?'  
'Yeah, I don't see why not' Emily replied with a toothy grin, causing Hanna to cheer loudly. Emily chuckled, while Spencer rolled her eyes at Hanna's behaviour.  
'Such a child' Spencer mumbled, chuckling when Hanna poked her tongue out playfully.  
'You guys are crazy' Aria stated as she shook her head, he phone buzzing beside her.  
'Who the hell is trying to get hold of you? That's like the seventh time your phone has gone off already tonight' Hanna stated as she raised her eyebrow questioningly.  
'No-one' Aria replied, a little too quickly. 'Just my Mom' she added, but the other three girls weren't convinced. Hanna lunged for the phone, but Aria was quicker. The shorter girl snatched the phone up and placed it in her purse, where Hanna couldn't reach it.  
'I'll find out all your secrets one of these days, Montgomery' Hanna warned playfully through narrowed eyes.

The rest of the dinner was spent with Hanna playing the fool, Aria's phone going off multiple times and Spencer's eyes rolling like they were on a spin cycle. Emily sat quietly and watched the group around her, feeling lucky that she had such good friends, and that they had all wound up living in the city together, with Spencer and Aria living little more than a ten minutes' walk from the apartment block that she and Hanna lived in. Unlike Aria and Spencer, Emily and Hanna had made the decision to live in separate apartments. Hanna had suggested it, but as much as Emily loved her bubbly, crazy friend, she was sure that if they shared an apartment, she would have murdered Hanna in her sleep by now.

After saying their goodbyes to Aria, the other three women made their way across the city in a taxi. Hanna was already slightly tipsy and chatting animatedly to the driver, while Spencer and Emily had sat in the back watching in amusement as the blonde woman gave the unimpressed driver fashion advice. When they finally reached the club, the music was pumping and it was already pretty full, considering it was only 10pm. When they reached the club, Emily started to drink Coke, just to avoid odd looks from people when she was seen drinking water, plus she had found it was an easy way to get girls to open up and let loose around you if they thought you was drinking too.  
'Let's dance!' Hanna shouted over the music as she pulled Emily and Spencer by their hands and dragged them to the direction of the already packed dance floor. Emily soon found herself moving to the music, dancing along with Hanna while Spencer laughed at them. Emily had learned to have fun and let lose without the use of alcohol, and she actually enjoyed watching her friends make drunken fools of themselves. She began to lose herself in the music, her body moving rhythmically to the beat of the heavy bass that thudded in her hears, becoming completely unaware of her surroundings as sweat began to cling to form on her skin in the hot, packed room. Flashing lights lit her up and glistened off of her, making her look like she was sparking under the strobe. She was pulled out of her trance when she felt someone bump into her, a drink spilling all over her legs.

'Hey!' she shouted, spinning around angrily, only to be stunned in position by icy blue eyes and long, fluttering eyelashes and Emily's breath hitched as she was surrounded by thoughts of Alison. Alison's eyes looking at her, Alison's lips on hers, Alison's hands roaming the spans of her back.  
'Oh my god, I'm so sorry!' the girl apologised, and Emily snapped back into reality. This girl wasn't Alison, but like so many that had come before her, she looked just enough like her for Emily to pretend.  
'It's ok, it's fine. It was just an accident' Emily replied with her best smile.  
'No, seriously. Please, let me make it up to you' the girl insisted, and that was all Emily needed.  
'Sure. Why don't you dance with me?' she offered flirtatiously, her long lashes fluttering seductively, and just like all the other blonde haired, blue eyes beauties that had come before, the girl was like putty in Emily's hands. She nodded speechlessly and Emily wasted no time in swooping in, dancing seductively as she grew closer to the girl, until she was grinding into her and they were practically dry humping to the music.  
'What's your name, beautiful?' Emily husked in her ear before teasingly biting on her earlobe, causing the girl gasp.  
'Kaley' she whimpered into Emily's ear.  
'Well, I think you and I are about to have a good night, Kaley' Emily replied, before leaning in and pulling the girl into a hot, searing kiss.

'Wow, didn't take Em long tonight' Hanna remarked to Spencer as she checked her watch.  
'What do you mean?' Spencer asked in confusion, oblivious to the fact that Emily was in the middle of a serious game of tonsil tennis, just feet away from her.  
'Well, it's only 11, and already Emily's found the hottest blonde in the room and made her, her bitch for the night' Hanna stated, half impressed at her friend's skills, but also concerned by her habit of indulging in hot, blonde girls at least twice a week. Emily seemed to have no interest in even going on a date with any of these girls, let alone having a relationship. She was behaving like a player, and that wasn't the Emily she knew and loved.  
'What?' Spencer turned, her eyes widening at the show that Emily was putting on, several guys had formed a circle around them and were jeering them on, and Emily seemed completely unfazed by it.  
'What the hell is her obsession with blondes, anyway?' Spencer asked. She too had noticed that Emily tended to fill her bed with different blonde girls.  
'You seriously have to ask?' Hanna asked, her eyebrow cocked as Spencer looked back with a blank expression. 'You know, for someone who's crazy smart, you're pretty stupid. Every single girl she goes home with is a fucking Ali clone!' Hanna explained, and judging by the look on Spencer's face, she hadn't actually put two and two together, which made Hanna feel particularly smart.

'Wait, so she hooks up with blonde girls to replace Ali with?' Spencer asked, needing confirmation.  
'I don't think it's to replace Ali, because she doesn't ever speak to the girls again after she sleeps with them' Hanna countered, getting a rush from having to explain something to Spencer, for once. 'I think it's more that she sleeps with Ali lookalikes and you know, pretends they're Ali' she finished with a shrug of the shoulders.  
'Guys, I'm heading home' Emily shouted over the music as she walked closer to Hanna and Spencer, hand in hand with a flustered, red cheeked blonde. She let the girl go for a second and pulled Hanna in for a hug.  
'Who's the blonde?' Hanna asked as they hugged.  
'Her name's Kacey' Emily replied with a smirk as she hugged Spencer goodbye and led the blonde woman out of the club and back to her apartment.  
'Wait, we're just going to let her go?' Spencer asked in shock.  
'We can't drag her back here by her hair extensions, Spencer' Hanna replied. 'Besides, at least she knew this girls name. That's an improvement on the girl I walked in on her with a few days ago' Hanna shrugged, and for the first time in her life, Spencer Hastings was completely and utterly gobsmacked.

Emily had woken feeling fresh that morning, another added advantage to not drinking. No hangovers after a night out. She saw out the blonde from last night, whose name she really couldn't care to remember, though she was sure the blonde would remember hers, since she had screamed it several times over the course of the night. Once alone, she showered and thrown on a pair of shorts and a baggy tee, cleaned her tiny studio apartment and after texting Hanna several times and getting no response, decided to go give the blonde a visit. She headed up the two flights of stairs in her apartment block and let herself into Hanna's slightly bigger, 1 bedroom apartment. She couldn't help but giggle when she walked into the room to find Hanna sprawled on her back, in a bra and a tiny black, lacy thong, with her arms in the air and her mouth wide open. Emily had woken to the site of this many times over the years when Hanna had ended up in her bed after a night out, or visa versa. Emily made her way across the room and climbed into the bed beside Hanna, cuddling into her side.  
'Huh?' Hanna groaned as she stirred awake.  
'Messy night?' Emily chuckled as she turned her face to the side to look at Hanna beside her. She watched as the blonde blinked through her sleep, trying to wake up.  
'Messy? Messy doesn't even cover it. I got home at 4am' Hanna croaked, her throat dry as the alcohol from the previous night was beginning to dehydrate her. 'Oh, my head' she moaned, as she cuddled into Emily's side, her head resting gently in Emily's armpit and one leg hooked over the brunette's exposed thigh. Emily wrapped her arm around Hanna's back and sighed happily. This was when she was her most comfortable, cuddled up in the bed of the only woman she loved, in the most platonic way possible. The two girls lay in silence for a while, Hanna cuddled into Emily's side, while the brunette gently combed her fingers through blonde hair.

'So, did you have fun with blondie last night?' Hanna asked, her voice hoarse from the night she had had with Spencer. Emily smirked as she thought about the night she had with the blonde woman.  
'It was pretty good' she replied, her smirk firmly in place, earning her a soft slap to the chest from Hanna.  
'What was that for?' Emily questioned, her brow furrowing.  
'Just because' Hanna replied with a shrug as she tilted her head and looked up at Emily. 'You know I love you, right, Em?'  
'Yeah, and I love you too. Why are you getting all soppy on me?' Emily asked, the crease between her eyebrows increasing as she grew more confused.  
'Because I'm worried about you' Hanna admitted softly, concern written across her perfectly beautiful features.  
'Why? I'm fine' Emily stated as she broke the eye contact with Hanna and focused on the wall just behind her.  
'The fact that you can't look me in the eye right now tells me different' Hanna replied as she lifted herself from Emily and sat beside her on the bed. 'If I ask you something, will you be honest with me?' Emily looked down at her fingers as she picked at her thumb nail. She knew that whenever Hanna asked this before asking a question, the question was going to be a dangerous one, and would open a whole can of worms. But, it was Hanna, the one person Emily couldn't lie to.

'I'll try' she offered as she looked up at Hanna through her eyelashes, and Hanna seemed happy enough with this response.  
'So, I know that you don't want a relationship, yet you hook up with a lot of girls on a regular basis. I can't help but notice that- that they all look a lot like Ali' Hanna stated, and Emily wasn't sure if that was Hanna's attempt at asking a question delicately, or she just forgot what the principle of a question was. Either way, it hurt to hear Hanna say her name after all these years. None of the girls ever mentioned their old friend in front of her, purely because they couldn't bare to see the pain in her eyes whenever they did.  
'What are you asking me, Hanna?' Emily asked after a few moments of silence. Her mouth was suddenly dry and her hear was in her throat, and Emily felt sick with the thought of Alison.  
'I guess what I'm asking is, are you trying to fill a gap, so to speak' Hanna attempted to ask, not wanting to ask any questions that might upset Emily. Emily thought long and hard about Hanna's question, so long in fact that Hanna was beginning to wonder if she had heard her at all.

'I'm not trying to fill a gap, Hanna. It's just, it still hurts, to think of Ali. Some days I feel like I can't breathe because I miss her so much' Emily began to explain, her voice quiet and soft, but yet so raw and so full of years of built up pain. 'She was the love of my life and I don't think I could ever get over that. I don't think my heart could ever love like that again, and every single day is a struggle. Every single day, I want to just hit a bar and drink until I forget her, but I can't do that. So, I hook up with girls who look like her, and I pretend that it's her, just so that I can numb the pain for a little while. I know that sounds sick, and twisted and it's so not fair to all of those beautiful girls that have ended up in my bed, but every time I see a girl with blonde hair and blue eyes, I remember her. I remember what it felt like to hold Ali, what it felt like to kiss her, and I'd do anything to feel that just one more time.' Emily finished, tears brimming her eyes as that familiar dull ache hit her heart. The same pain that had plagued her every day since Alison had disappeared off the face of the Earth. Hanna watched on, she hadn't seen Emily this broken and raw in a long time, and it hurt to see the girl she loved so much, in so much emotional turmoil. She scooted on the bed and pulled Emily into her chest, something she had done so many times over the years.

'Em, it's been 8 years. You have to let her go, or I'm going to end up losing you too and I can't handle that' Hanna said softly into Emily's hair as she placed a kiss on her head. 'I love you, and I don't want to lose you, physically or mentally. I look at you and I'm slowly seeing my best friend fade away. Let me help you' Hanna was practically begging now, terrified at the thought of Emily walking around as an empty shell of a former person that was so full of life and love.  
'I don't know how to let her go, Hanna. She's everywhere I turn' Emily cried, tears falling down her cheeks. 'Every time I catch a glimpse of a blonde woman, I think it's her. Every time I hear a laugh that sounds like hers, I freeze. For fuck sake, I moved to the city to get on with my life, and she's still everywhere I turn!' Emily was angry now. Angry that she still, after all these years, was being haunted by the ghost of Alison DiLaurentis. She couldn't bare to fall in love with anyone, because she couldn't bare to have her heart broken again. Emily's heart had died the day that Alison DiLaurentis did.  
'I'll get you help, ok? Let me do that for you' Hanna pleaded, gently taking Emily's cheeks in her hands and holding her in place so that they were looking eye to eye. 'Please let me help you'  
'Ok' Emily whispered, her bottom lip shaking as she tried so hard to hold in the tears that wanted to come out.


	3. Alive

'Work it girl' Hanna called as her camera flashed over and over again as Emily changed positions and facial expressions while draped across the bed, dressed in nothing but a red and black lace corset and matching thong. She had been modelling for Hanna's fashion blog for a few years now, initially wanting to help her friend get a kick start to her fashion career, but three years later she was still participating in shoots on a weekly basis, and she surprisingly found herself enjoying it. This however, was the raciest shoot Hanna had gotten her to be a part of.  
'You're so lucky that I'm comfortable with my body, or I would not be doing this' Emily giggled from the bed as Hanna stood over her on the bed and photographed her from above.  
'Why not show off your body, you're hot! Think of all the girls that will see this and drool over you' Hanna joked as she captured a picture of Emily laughing, her eyes lighting up as she looked up at the camera. That was definitely a photo she would be using, Hanna thought.  
'Ok, I think we're actually done for today' Hanna stated as she began to flick through the photos on her camera, nodding proudly as she checked them out.  
'Really? I thought you wanted some for your personal collection?' Emily asked flirtatiously, as she sat up and grabbed Hanna by the back of her knees, causing Hanna to fall on top of her with a squeal.  
'Ok, this is too weird even for me' Hanna laughed as she rolled to Emily's side.  
'Oh, I see how it is. You can talk the talk but you can't put your mouth into action when it counts, huh?' Emily joked, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively, causing Hanna to laugh even more.  
'Oh god, you're seriously gross' Hanna managed to say through her laughter.

The two girls rolled around on the bed in giggles, until they finally calmed down a few minutes later.  
'How are you feeling today, anyway?' Hanna asked, her tone more serious than before. She turned her head to the side to look at Emily, who was still dressed in just lingerie.  
'I'm nervous' Emily admitted as she looked up at the ceiling above her.  
'You'll be fine, Em. Just go in there and talk' Hanna replied as she took Emily's hand in her own, interlinking their fingers. 'I'm here too, you know. If you want to talk'  
'I know. Thanks Han' Emily replied with a small smile, finally turning to catch eye contact with Hanna. 'So, are you seeing Caleb today?' Emily asked with a smirk.  
'No, I'm getting kind of bored of him' Hanna replied with a huff.  
'Really?' Emily asked in surprise. 'I thought you guys were doing ok?' she added, wanting confirmation of what was going on in Hanna's love life. Hanna and Caleb had been on and off for a little over a year, with neither really knowing what they wanted from the other.  
'Yeah, well. Shit happens' Hanna sighed, 'Besides, you're far too much of a commitment, I couldn't possibly keep up with two relationships' Hanna joked, causing Emily to roll her eyes.  
'God, and you say I'm the weird one' Emily retorted.  
'No seriously. The only relationship I need is the one we have. We have fun! We go out for dinner, you let me get drunk. Then you get me home safely to my bed and we cuddle all night long. Perfect' Hanna stated happily.  
'Yeah, well there's a very important thing missing from that relationship, Hanna' Emily said with a smirk, before lifting her fingers in a V shape and flicking her tongue between them, causing Hanna to let out a loud laugh.  
'Yeah, I guess that's important too' she admitted with a chuckle.

Spencer flicked through her messages, smiling when she saw she had received one from Toby, as she headed towards the nearest Sandwich bar to grab a quick lunch, before heading back to the office. The Law Firm was slammed lately, and Spencer had found herself snowed under with Paralegal work. So much so, that she had resorted to working on a Saturday in order to keep on top of things, the biggest downside to that being that she didn't get to spend time with her friends or boyfriend, Toby. She was just typing a response back when she got a Facetime call from Hanna.  
'Hey, Han! What's up?' Spencer greeted as she held the phone out in front of her so that the blonde could see her face.  
'Nothing much. I'm so incredibly bored, so I figured I'd call the only other person more boring than me right now' Hanna quipped, causing Spencer to chuckle.  
'Well thanks, Han. You definitely know how to make a girl feel special!' Spencer replied. 'Where's Em? I thought you guys were hanging out today to do the shoot for your blog?' Spencer asked curiously. It had made her feel better that Hanna would be working on her Saturday too, though granted Hanna's form of work was a lot more fun than Spencer's. Spencer had experienced one of Hanna's shoots before, and knew full well that it involved the blonde getting drunk and flirting shamelessly with Emily, while she pranced around in clothes and pouted, all to the cheesiest background music that Hanna could find.  
'Yeah we did it early today because Em has her first therapy session this afternoon' Hanna replied, pouting into the camera.  
'Oh shoot, I totally forgot about that. How was she feeling about it?' Spencer asked. Hanna had told her about Emily's little breakdown the week before, and Spencer would be lying if she said it hadn't worried her. She was just grateful that Hanna had been there to stop Emily from doing something stupid, like hitting up a bar.  
'She seemed ok, she was just a lit-' Spencer's attention became distracted when she accidentally bumped into someone.

'Sorry!' she called, freezing in place when she came face to face with someone, who looked just as shocked to see her as she was to see them.  
'Alison!?' Spencer yelped in surprise, her eyebrows knitting in confusion at being face to face with the girl that she had spent the last 8 years thinking was dead. The blonde woman's eyes widened in response as she remained frozen in place.  
'Spencer focus. We're talking about Emily' Hanna huffed, not hearing the mention of Alison's name. The mention of Emily, caused the blonde's eyes to shoot straight to the phone in Spencer's hands, and Spencer knew that she had the girl's curiosity peaked. For the first time ever, Hanna's big mouth had come in useful.  
'Han, I'll call you back' Spencer said feebly before hanging up the call.  
'Spencer? Hello?' Hanna yelled at her phone as the call disconnected. 'That bitch hung up on me' she said disbelieving. Hanna tossed her phone to the side and groaned as she lowered herself back down onto the bed. She looked over at her laptop, knowing that she should start the work for her blog, but she simply didn't have the motivation to get up and work today.

Spencer looked back up at the girl in front of her, noticing how she still looked so much like she had when she had last seen her 9 years ago, only a little older and a little rougher around the edges. 'Ali, it's me. Spencer' she said, cringing at herself for how incredibly cliché she sounded.  
'I'm not who you think I am' the girl finally said, attempting to turn away. Spencer grabbed her arm and held her in place.  
'Ali, you don't have to be scared' Spencer said softly as she tried her hardest to keep her shock under control. She couldn't believe that she was standing face to face with the girl that had shattered their worlds when she had disappeared 9 years ago. The girl that Emily was still, after all this time, struggling to get over, and yet here she was, alive and well and living in New York City.

Emily waited in the waiting room, her leg bouncing nervously as she waited to be called. It had taken her twenty minutes, and several cigarettes, to even enter the building in the first place. She wasn't sure she would be able to sit and open up to a perfect stranger about her issues with alcohol, her dependency on Hanna, and worst of all, the pain she still felt for Alison. But, she had promised Hanna that she would try, and who was Emily Fields to break a promise to Hanna Marin?  
'Emily Fields' a friendly voice called. Emily looked up to see an older, grey haired lady with a warm, genuine smile. She seemed open and welcoming, and Emily thought that maybe, just maybe she might be able to open up to this lady.

Spencer slid into the booth as she handed a takeout coffee to Alison.  
'Thanks' she sighed with a small smile. Spencer flashed a smile in return, taking a few moments to really take in Alison's appearance. There was no doubt that the blonde had aged over the years, 9 years was a long time after all, but Alison looked tired and drained. She was tense and jumpy, and the confidence that used to pour off of the blonde, was now replaced with an eerie vulnerability. Her usual pristine attire of sleek, designer outfits was instead replaced with worn jeans and a shabby grey sweater that looked like it had seen better days. Her former long, blonde curls were pulled into a messy high ponytail and her face was clear of make-up, visibly showing a few blemishes and dark circles around her puffy eyes. Looking at her properly for the first time, Spencer was even surprised she had recognised Alison with all these changes. She looked like a completely different person to the girl she had known 9 years ago.

'Ali' Spencer breathed, not really knowing where to start. 'First of all, can I just say how good it is to see you again. We thought you were- gone' Spencer changed her final word, she couldn't bring herself to say the D word, not to the girl that she in fact had thought was dead and buried long ago.  
'Dead. You thought I was dead, you can say the word, Spencer' Alison stated softly. 'I'm sorry about that' Alison apologised sincerely. She had planned to go back home eventually, she hadn't meant for things to go that far. But then she had seen that they had found a body and had identified it as her, how could she come back after that?  
'What happened? Where have you been all this time?' Spencer asked. She had ten thousand questions flying around her head and she wanted to ask all of them. Alison smiled a soft, sad smile at the sight of her friend, and how she really hadn't changed at all over the years. Sure, she was older and dressed much more mature, though Spencer had always dressed like a middle aged business woman, but deep down she was still the same, eager Spencer who needed to be the first to know everything and would stop at nothing to know it.  
'I can't answer that' Alison replied softly, as she placed her coffee cup onto the table. 'I'm sorry, I know that's not what you want to hear, and I know that you deserve answers but, I'm not ready to talk. I wasn't even ready to be found' Alison added with a soft, sad chuckle and a shake of the head. 'I should have known that you'd be the one to find me eventually'  
'Ali' Spencer breathed as she reached her hand out and took Alison's in her own. She wanted to tell Alison that they loved her, that her disappearance destroyed them. That it was the hardest few years of their lives and just everything she had put them through, but she couldn't bring herself to say that. She couldn't tell Alison the truth of the devastation that she had caused by running all those years ago.

'I saw a picture in a newspaper. Of my funeral' Alison said abruptly, her voice filled with bitterness and sadness. 'There was a picture of all of you outside of the church. Emily was crying. Hanna was holding her. How is Emily?' Alison suddenly asked as she looked up at Spencer, catching the other woman off guard.  
'She- She's doing ok' Spencer lied, and she knew that Alison could see right through her lie, she always could.  
'That bad, huh?' Alison mused to herself as she took a sip of her coffee and looked down at the table. She knew that leaving the way she did would destroy Emily, it was the one thing that almost kept her from leaving. Almost. 'I've seen her a few times. She's um, definitely having fun' Alison stated with a sad smile as she recalled the few times she had almost bumped into Emily in various places, and the few times she had seen her with an array of different blonde girls on her arm. The first time she had seen Emily with another girl, she was in a night club and Emily was making out with the blonde in the middle of the dancefloor, while Alison was hiding in a dark corner to avoid being spotted. Alison had felt like her heart was being ripped out of her chest and stamped on at the sight of another girl kissing her Emily. Alison had had to stop herself from running over and pulling the bitch across the club, and kicking her ass for even being in Emily's vicinity. But, Alison knew she couldn't do that. She was 'dead' after all.  
'You've seen her?' Spencer questioned, her head tilting slightly to the side.  
'Yeah, once or twice. I never knew how to approach her' Alison replied with a sad shrug. Spencer nodded understandingly. Of course Alison couldn't just come up to them on the street, they thought she was dead after all.

'Alison, can we meet up again? I mean, I really don't want to leave you but I have to get back to work' Spencer stated apologetically. She knew that leaving now for work was lame, but Spencer needed time to clear her head. She needed to formulate a plan and organise her thoughts about this revelation, and she couldn't do that if Alison was sitting in front of her.  
'Sure. I don't think I really have much choice in the matter now you know that I'm here in the city' Alison replied with a genuine smile. It felt good to be talking to Spencer after all this time. She really had missed her friends.  
'Good, ok we'll meet up again. Here, take my contact information' Spencer offered as she rummaged through her purse and pulled out a small, plain white card with her name, number and email. She handed it to Alison, who shook her head in amusement as she took the card and inspected it.  
'Vladeck, Raskin and Clark Law Firm. Impressive' she stated with pride. 'I always knew you'd work for some top, fancy Law Firm or something'  
'Yeah well, I had plenty of practice arguing with you over the years. I figured I might as well get paid for something I'm good at' Spencer countered with a warm smile. 'It's really good to see you, you know. I missed you. We all did'  
'I missed you too' Alison hushed back in response, feeling herself getting emotional as they stood up and Spencer pulled her in for a tight hug. When they parted, Spencer looked at her thoughtfully.  
'Ali, you're ok right?' Spencer asked hesitantly. Judging by Alison's appearance, she wasn't exactly living the high life, and Spencer couldn't bare the thought of Alison having to go back to some squat somewhere.  
'I'm doing ok. You don't have to worry about me' Alison replied with a small smile, and while Spencer wasn't sure if she entirely believed her, she knew that she had no place to question it. Alison had spent 9 years in hiding and taking care of herself. If she hadn't learned to do so by now, then she wouldn't be standing here in this coffee shop.

'And how does that make you feel, when you think of Alison?'  
'I feel- I feel like me heart is being put through a shredder and like my stomach is going to come up out of my throat' Emily replied softly, feeling those exact feelings throughout the entirety of the session. It had been tough talking about Alison and her death, and how that had led to her drinking habits. It had been painful reliving the day that Alison's body was found. Having to recount the little memory she had of entering the church and breaking down at the side of the white coffin.  
'Excellent work, Emily. You've done so great today. We're out of time for today, but we'll pick up again next week. I want you to try something for this week. I want you to go on a date' Elizabeth said, smiling when she saw the slight look of dread on Emily's face. 'I know it seems like a strange request, but I would like you to try. It doesn't have to be anything serious, you can just go for dinner and you don't have to see the person again if you don't want to. I just want you to try it'  
'Ok. I'll try' Emily replied with a soft smile. The thought of going on a date terrified her. She had never been on a date before, which she knew would sound crazy if anyone other than Hanna, Spencer and Aria ever found out, but she had never needed to during high school. For a long time, the only person Emily needed in her life was Alison. Sure they went out for dinner and to the movies, but that didn't count as dates, at least not in Emily's mind. And for the past 8 years, Emily simply hadn't been able to bring herself to go on a date. She couldn't make that step from one night stand to a first date, let alone anything more.

Emily left the room and headed out onto the busy New York street, lighting up a cigarette the second she walked out of the door of the building. She inhaled deeply and let the smoke linger in her throat for a second before blowing it back out, feeling the nicotine calm her instantly. She leaned against the wall of the building, her head leaning back into the rough brick, and closed her eyes as she processed her therapy session. Reliving all the pain and confusion, the hurt and struggle she had felt. She thought about the request of her therapist and how impossible that seemed to be able to complete in just a week. Dinner. That was all she had to do, was have dinner with someone. She liked food, especially good food. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

'I'm the only one who can write my story, write my story. I'mma do it like this, do it like that' Hanna sang, bopping her head to the beat of the pop song that was blasting from her stereo, while she clicked through the pictures on her laptop. After procrastinating for hours, she had finally brought herself to begin her piece for her blog. With her photo editing software running, she was now looking through the pictures she had taken earlier that morning, and was in the process of editing her favourite ones for the website. She smiled when she came across the picture of Emily laughing whilst lying on the bed; it was a pure, natural canon shot. Not posed, not planned and not fake. Hanna could see the light in those coffee coloured eyes and the way she smiled so big that her teeth were showing. She didn't see Emily like that very often anymore, so it was refreshing to catch a glimpse of her best friend. Hanna pulled up her phone and snapped a picture from her laptop, before sending it on to Emily.  
 _I love seeing my angel so happy 3_

Hanna was pulled out of her daze by a loud knock on the door. Throwing the laptop to one side on the sofa, she got up and paused the CD player and headed towards the door.  
'Hey, Spence. What brings you here?' Hanna asked in confusion as she opened the door and let the taller woman in.  
'I have to talk to you. Is Aria here yet?' Spencer asked as she entered the small apartment and headed towards the couch.  
'Aria's coming too?' Hanna replied with a confused shake of the head as she closed the door and followed Spencer. 'Nice to know that I've invited people over' Hanna quipped as she headed to the small kitchen area behind the sofa and poured a cup of coffee for Spencer.  
'Well, we need to talk' Spencer huffed as she leaned back into the sofa and rested her head on the back. Hanna handed her the coffee and stood in front of the taller woman.  
'Talk about what?' Hanna asked warily. She had a bad feeling about whatever it was Spencer was about to tell her.  
'I'll explain when Aria gets here' Spencer replied. Hanna opened her mouth to argue but was cut off by another knock at the door.

'Hi, Aria. Come in, apparently I'm really glad you could make it' Hanna huffed as she left Aria in the doorway. Aria cocked an eyebrow before heading into the apartment, shutting her door on the way in.  
'Nice to see you too, Hanna' Aria replied with slight offense. 'What's the emergency, Spence?'  
'Yeah, why is my apartment suddenly like Grand Central freaking Station' Hanna asked in annoyance.  
'You guys might want to sit down for this' Spencer warned. Aria's face turned to worry as she sat on the opposite couch to Spencer, while Hanna remained stood to the sides of the two sofas.  
'Just tell us, Spencer!' she demanded impatiently, her eyes going wide. Spencer took a deep breath and composed herself, preparing herself to break the news that would make or break the two women in front of her.  
'Ali's alive. I saw her today' Spencer finally said firmly. The lawyer in her was telling her to make sure that the facts were clear and precise, and put across in a firm manner so that they could not be misconstrued. Hanna and Aria froze at this information, their mouths hung slightly open as they tried to process this information.

' _Hi, this is Hanna Marin, I'm sorry I can't take your call. You know what to do'  
_ 'Han, it's me. I was just calling to let you know how my session went, but I obviously caught you at the one time your phone isn't glued to your hand, so I guess I'll just talk to you later' Emily sighed into her phone, wishing that Hanna had just picked up the phone because all she wanted to do was go into the bar across the road. 'Um, I have a few errands to run, but I'll swing by your place later with take out. Text me and tell me what you want and I'll pick it up on the way home. Ok. I love you' Emily finished as she hung up the call. She tapped her phone against the palm of her hand whilst she looked at the bar, biting at the corner of her mouth in thought. Emily crossed the road and headed towards the building, before heading into the coffee shop next door. She breathed out a heavy breath at how close she had been to going into the bar.  
'Hi, can I get a regular Americano please' Emily requested as she fished out her purse.  
'Sure, that's 4 Dollars please' the barista replied, and Emily couldn't help but look up with intriguement at the sound of her soft, British accent. As she looked up, Emily was met with warm, caramel coloured eyes and soft, delicate features. Emily found herself transfixed by the sight of this woman in a way that she hadn't had for a long time. Emily handed her card over and paid for her coffee, the whole time never taking her eyes off of the pale skinned, brunette woman in front of her. The woman seemed to know what impact she was having on Emily, judging by the soft smirk that her lips curved into when she handed her the coffee.  
'I hope to see you again soon' the barista almost purred. Emily's throat was suddenly dry as she tried to reply.  
'Yeah' she managed to croak out, causing the barista to giggle before turning to the next customer.

'No fucking way, it's impossible' Hanna yelled as she paced up and down the living room.  
'Hanna, I'm telling you. It was her! Ali's alive. I don't know how or why, but she was sitting feet away from me drinking a coffee less than thirty minutes ago' Spencer shouted back, her voice growing louder by the minute as she grew frustrated with Hanna.  
'Wait, you spoke to her?' Aria finally asked, after being silent for the past ten minutes while Hanna and Spencer shouted at each other across the room. The two other woman had almost forgotten that Aria was also present, and when their eyes snapped to her, Aria felt suddenly very nervous.  
'Yeah, she almost ran away from me but I managed to get her to come and have a drink with me' Spencer replied, her voice softer now.  
'What did she say? Did she say why she ran away?' Aria asked, her tone gentle and calming.  
'Yeah, did she tell you why she faked her death and turned our friend, and supposedly the girl she loved, into a fucking mess?' Hanna yelled, anger evident in her voice, and Spencer wondered for a brief second whether it was wise telling Hanna this information.

'No, she didn't tell me anything. To be honest, I was too shocked to really ask her anything. She just said that she's sorry for what she put us through and that she misses us' Spencer replied, her voice growing tired.  
'Oh she'll be sorry once I'm through with her' Hanna stated through gritted teeth.  
'Hanna!' Spencer yelped in response.  
'What, Spencer? She faked her death for 8 fucking years, went missing for a year before that. She turned Emily, of all people, into an alcoholic! Are you forgetting what we went through with Em after Ali's funeral?' Hanna yelled in disbelief. Confused as to why Spencer failed to see that Alison needed to answer questions and she needed to pay for what she had done.  
'Hanna, you didn't see her today, ok? She was not the same Ali that left us. She was scared and vulnerable' Spencer tried to reason, but she could tell by the look in her eyes that Hanna was not going to back down on this one.  
'Look guys, were just going around in circles. Whatever the case, Ali is still alive and we need to deal with that' Aria tried to reason. 'I mean, how do we tell Emily?'  
'We don't' Hanna replied firmly as Spencer went to open her mouth. 'I don't want Emily to know anything about this. Not yet anyway'  
'I agree. Emily's already dealing with a lot. If we tell her this, we might as well be sticking a bottle of Whisky in her hand and telling her to go to town' Spencer agreed.  
'Ok, we don't tell Emily. But what's the plan from here?' Aria asked, looking between the other two women for some sort of confirmation.

Alison entered her apartment, sighing heavily at the day she had had. The last thing she had expected was to literally bump into Spencer. Alison knew that the girls were in New York, she had seen them all many times from afar. She knew that would sound creepy to them if they found out, which was why she hadn't told Spencer earlier in the coffee shop, but she had followed them a few times. She had to check up on them, especially Emily. She knew that her former lover had not handled her disappearance very well. She wasn't sure of the extent of it, but from the way Hanna, Spencer and Aria watched Emily's every move, Alison could only figure that it had been bad enough. She hated the thought that Emily was hurting over her.

'Hey' came a soft voice, causing Alison to look up.  
'Hey Riley. How was your day?' Alison replied as she dropped down onto the shabby brown sofa, shuffling a little to get comfy on the springy cushion.  
'Nothing out of the ordinary' Riley shrugged as she placed a joint between her lips and took a drag. 'Here' she offered to Alison as she passed the joint across. Alison took it willingly and took a drag, letting the heavy smoke sit in her throat before she blew it out, choking a little as she exhaled.  
'Shit, that's strong stuff' Alison choked as she passed it back, causing Riley to laugh. Alison wasn't one for drugs, she smoked a little weed every now and again with Riley, but other than that she tended to stay away from them. Riley on the other hand, seemed to be dabbling in something different every other day from bongs and joints, to pills and injections. Riley seemed to do it all, and she seemed to enjoy it. Alison wasn't so keen on her friend's extra-curricular activities, but she figured it wasn't her body, who was she to tell the younger girl what to do.

A knock at the door caused Riley to jump up out of her seat. The small brunette headed towards the door to reveal three large, muscular men, and none of them looked particularly pleasant.  
'Hi' Riley greeted them, inviting them into the apartment, whilst Alison shrunk down into the couch and remained silent. 'Money up front' Riley stated as she looked up at one of the men, who were almost double her height and size. The three men pulled wads of cash out of their pockets, handing it to her. Riley counted the cash before leading them towards the bedroom.  
'How much for her to join?' one of the guys asked, pointing at Alison on the sofa.  
'Oh, honey, you couldn't afford her' Riley quipped with a wink, before leading the three men into the bedroom and closing the door. As soon as the door closed, Alison jumped up from the couch with wide eyes. She grabbed her jacket and left the apartment, praying that Riley would be ok.


	4. With Tired Eyes and Tired Minds and Brok

Emily leaned against the lamppost smoking her cigarette. She had been standing outside of the coffee shop for a little over ten minutes now, just willing herself to take the step and go inside. She knew it shouldn't be so hard, to just go in and order a coffee, maybe spark up a conversation. She didn't even know this girl, why did she have such an effect on her? There was definitely something about her though. Something almost intoxicating. Something compelling. It was something Emily hadn't felt for a long time, not since Alison. Emily's phone rang in her pocket, pulling her from her trance.  
'Hello?' she answered as she placed her phone to her ear.  
'Hey, Em' came Hanna's voice from the other end of the line, and Emily felt a build up of frustration at the other woman's voice.  
'Well, hello stranger' Emily replied, her tone sharp and full of annoyance. 'Why have you been avoiding me?' she asked as she tossed her burnt out cigarette to the ground.  
'I haven't, I've just be busy' Hanna feebly lied, knowing full well that since Spencer had told her about Alison being alive, she hadn't exactly been the easiest person for Emily to reach. She had pretty much ignored every call and text Emily had sent and had resorted to hiding out at Caleb's apartment in an effort to avoid the brunette. She couldn't face looking Emily in the face, seeing that pain in her eyes that had lingered in the background for the past 9 years, and pretend that the cause of that pain was not living in an apartment somewhere in the same very city as them. That the root of all of Emily Fields' problems, was not sitting across a coffee shop table with Spencer just a few days ago.  
'Bullshit Hanna. Call me back when you're ready to stop lying to me' Emily snapped before prematurely ending the call and stuffing her phone back into her back jeans pocket.

Hanna might have been the last person that Emily wanted to talk to right now, but she had done Emily a favour by calling, because without even thinking about it, Emily found herself walking into the dimly lit coffee shop and was walking down the stairs that led down to the few scattered tables and chairs, and the long counter across the back. Emily headed over to the counter and stood in line, looking around at the baristas to see if she could spot the girl she was pretending wasn't the reason she was here. She caught sight of her in seconds, her long brunette hair whipping like a fan through the air as she spun and handed a coffee to another customer. Her smile creating soft dimples in her cheeks as she moved away and onto the next person. She was a vision, one that Emily was happy to look at. She was getting closer, and Emily didn't want to be the creep staring, so averted her gaze to the large black chalk board on the back wall behind the counter, the various different drink written in large, white letters.  
'Well, hello again' came that British accent that had piqued Emily's curiosity so much the last time she was here. Emily flicked her eyes to the shorter woman in front of her, instantly focusing on those warm, golden eyes that had caused her breath to hitch the last time.  
'Hello again' Emily replied, happy that she was able to get words out this time around. She had promised herself that she would be different this time. She would be cool and calm, and not a silent, staring weirdo.  
'Americano again?' the barista asked knowingly, her eyebrow raised questioningly as she grabbed a large cup.  
'You've got a good memory' Emily stated, slightly impressed that she had remembered after having only come into the coffee shop once. 'Do you remember every customer's orders?' she asked.  
'Not every customer. Only the ones that I want to impress' the barista replied. 'It was Emily, right?' she asked, confirming Emily's name from last time as she grabbed the sharpie from her apron pocket and pulled the lid from it. Emily nodded her head in confirmation and watched as the barista wrote her name on the cup in swirling letters, finishing with a smiley face on the end.

The barista went about making the coffee as Emily watched from the other side of the counter, appreciating the girl's full ass in her tiny denim shorts, and how good she looked in her slightly oversized grey tank top, the arm holes cut so that they hung around below her ribs. She definitely had an edgier style, and Emily was sure that she had the personality to go along with it. As the barista headed back, Emily grabbed for her purse.  
'This one's on the house, Emily' the girl stated with a wink, causing Emily to blush slightly.  
'Well, thank you' Emily replied, reaching out for the coffee. Their fingers brushed as she went to take the cup, causing Emily's heart to hammer. 'Sorry, I don't even know your name' Emily tried casually as their hands separated.  
'Well, how about I go one better for you' the girl offered. She grabbed a napkin and her sharpie, scrawling something out of Emily's eyesight, before handing it to Emily. 'Call me if you want to have some fun' she stated, before smirking and walking away to the next customer. Emily was speechless, her words failing her once again as she clutched at the napkin in her hand. She turned on her heels and slowly left the shop, looking down at the napkin in her hand. That same, swirled writing that was on her cup, spelling out a number with a name.  
 _Riley_

Alison sat on the couch, tapping her phone against her hand. She had attempted to type out several messages to Spencer since their chat a few days ago, but somehow nothing seemed right. 'Thanks for the coffee' seemed to blasé, 'It was good to see you again' just seemed stupid. What did you say to a friend who had spent 8 years thinking you were dead? Nothing seemed right, either too casual or too formal.  
'Hey blondie' came a soft voice as the door closed.  
'Hey, Riley. How was your day?' Alison asked as she looked over at the petite brunette, who was now making her way across the tiny apartment.  
'It was good actually' Riley replied as she grabbed two beers from the refrigerator and opened them.  
'Oh yeah?' Alison asked curiously, her eyebrow raised expectantly as her roommate headed towards the couch and handed her a bottle before flopping onto the sofa beside her.  
'Yeah, this girl came into the coffee shop. She's been in before, but I didn't think she would be back so soon. She was cute' Riley stated before raising the bottle to her lips and taking a long swig. Alison felt a pang of jealousy at the knowledge that Riley had met a girl. They weren't a couple, far from it, but there had something special between them. It wasn't like nothing had ever happened between them, they shared a bed after all. Riley instantly spotted the jealousy creep up Alison's face and rolled her eyes.  
'You jealous, babe?' Riley asked playfully, that killer smirk forming on her lips, that drove Alison wild.  
'No, I just didn't think you were interested in anyone' Alison replied, looking away from those eyes that seemed to penetrate her mind every time she looked into them. Riley grabbed her hand and linked their fingers, making her look back.  
'You know you're the only girl for me, Holly' Riley stated, and Alison almost cringed at the sound of her fake name leaving those perfect lips in that perfect London accent. She had known Riley for 5 years now, since the girl was just 15 years old, and she had still never told her, her real name. Alison had never told anyone her real name. She had lived as Holly Blythewater for the past 9 years, and she had never thought twice about her alter ego. Not until now, anyway. Now that Spencer, and probably Aria, Hanna and Emily, knew that she was alive, it felt wrong to keep up the pretence of the character she had created for herself.

Riley leaned in closer to Alison, cupping her cheek with her hand as they looked into each other's eyes.  
'You know I care about you' Riley added to her previous statement, and Alison knew that Riley cared, of course she did. They had spent the past 5 years taking care of each other, in more ways than one. If she was honest, she wasn't entirely sure how she felt about Riley, she was more scared that the brunette would find someone who would sweep her out of this crazy bubble of a world that they lived in and she would be left alone again.  
'I know, I care about you too' Alison replied honestly. Riley smiled at this, before closing the gap and capturing Alison's lips into a soft kiss. Alison closed her eyes at the feeling of Riley's pillowed lips moving against her own, dancing rhythmically together, and she suddenly couldn't help but think of the only other girl she had kissed, what seemed like a whole other life time ago. Alison had tried to hard to block out Emily, and she was almost successful sometimes, but nothing ever quite compared to how incredibly loved Emily could make her feel with just a look or a touch, and now that there was a possibility that Emily knew she was alive, Alison's mind was filled with her more than ever. She longed for that touch, too look into those eyes and to hear Emily's voice husking in her ear as inexperienced hands wandered, like they had done so many times before. With the thought of Emily's hands on her body, Alison deepened the kiss, running her tongue across Riley's lips, searching for more. Alison pumped up the volume instantly, ripping Riley's tank top over her head, causing the brunette to drop her beer bottle onto the ground with a smash. Hands sank into hair and lips moved hungrily over skin, and before either woman knew what was happening, they were both naked and fingers were searching for that special place that made the world temporarily stop spinning.

'I can't keep pretending, Spencer' Hanna almost screamed, the frustration evident in her voice. 'Emily is barely speaking to me and I can't look into those sad eyes of hers, knowing that Ali is out there somewhere'  
'What do you want me to do, Hanna? I don't have a low jack on where Ali is and she hasn't contact me since I saw her!' Spencer yelled into her phone. 'You just need to suck it up for a few more days and hope that she gets in touch with me'  
'And what if she doesn't get in touch? What if she doesn't want to see you again' Hanna countered sceptically. 'What if she just met with you to get you to leave her alone, and she doesn't have any plan on contacting you. What do we do then?'  
'I don't know Hanna! I don't have all the freaking answers, ok? If she contacts me, I will let you know. Until then, we just go on with our lives like normal' Spencer replied in frustration. They had had this same conversation for the past 4 days, and Spencer was sick of it. She knew why Hanna was worried, she understood, but she didn't have the answers and she was growing just as frustrated with Ali's lack of communication as Hanna was. She had even contemplated asking Toby to run a search at the police department for an address or phone number for Alison, but she wasn't exactly sure how to tell her boyfriend why she was searching for her dead friend, without telling him the truth and since she didn't know the reason Alison had faked her death, she wasn't sure having the police involved would be wise.

'Look, I have to go ok. Just meet up with Emily and go for dinner or something. You know how she is, she gets needy when you guys are apart for too long' Spencer resigned, her voice softer this time. 'You should probably check in with her and make sure she's doing ok'  
'Yeah, I guess' Hanna sighed. She knew Spencer was right, leaving Emily alone for too long wasn't the wisest of decisions. Over the years since Alison's disappearance, Emily had leaned on Hanna more than anyone, and they had a complicated relationship. Hanna had become Emily's safety net and protector, and on the odd occasion that they didn't see each other for a while, Emily would gradually start to become unstable.  
'I'll call you if I hear anything, ok?' Spencer assured Hanna, before they said their goodbyes and hung up the call. Hanna knew that she was being erratic and was being a pain in Spencer's ass, but she really needed to see Ali for herself and decide what to make of her. She was so angry at the blonde for hiding for so long, she had some issues of her own to resolve and only Alison could help her to do that.

'Oh my god. That was- God that was so good' Riley gasped as she tried to settle her breathing. 'That thing you did with your tongue, you've never done that before' she stated as she looked down at Alison, who was settled with her head resting between her breasts, their fronts stuck together with a mixture of sweat and sex.  
'Well, I'm full of surprises' Alison chuckled, trying to push back the guilt that she was feeling for having thought of Emily the entire time that she was blowing Riley's mind, and using the same moves that Emily had used on her once upon a time.  
'You definitely are' Riley breathed as she pulled Alison up into a searing kiss, her hands anchoring in long blonde hair. 'I need to make you jealous more often' Riley husked as they parted, causing Alison to smirk.  
'Maybe you should' Alison husked back. She liked when they were like this, in their bubble with no drama or worries. Just the two of them, tangled in each other's bodies like nothing in the world mattered.  
'What are we doing, Holly? Why are we pretending that this isn't how we should be all of the time?' Riley wondered aloud.  
'I already told you why. Until you get out of the game, then we can't have this' Alison stated firmly, a seriousness to her tone as she detangled herself from Riley and began to slowly dress. Riley's face dropped at the sudden turn of the conversation, it was one they had had a dozen times before.  
'And I told you it's not that simple' Riley started to explain. 'Jeff would never just-'  
'Jeff is an inappropriate man-child who uses empty threats to get girls like you to earn big cash for himself' Alison interrupted. When Alison had met Riley, the young brunette was just a vulnerable teenager, who had put her faith in a relatively good looking older man, who had promised her the world to get her off of the streets. Alison had spent the past 5 years trying to get Riley out from under his thumb, even volunteering herself on the odd occasion to get Riley free from his clutches, but he seemed to be clinging on like a leech, constantly throwing curve balls their way.

'Speaking of Jeff, he's got a job for you' Riley approached the subject cautiously as she lit a joint and took a long, hard drag. Alison glared at Riley in disbelief.  
'I told you I'm not doing it anymore' Alison snapped, wanting this conversation to end.  
'It's just dinner and drinks. You don't have to sleep with him' Riley tried again. 'I can do it for you if you don't want to'  
'No! no, it's fine. Seeing you with those guys the other day was bad enough, let alone letting you go off to some sleazy bar somewhere with some random guy' Alison interrupted. 'I'll do it. When is it?'  
'Tomorrow night' Riley confirmed nonchalantly as she got up from the couch, still naked. She stepped over the broken beer bottle and headed towards the tiny kitchen to grab another.  
'You know you don't have to protect me' she called from the adjoined kitchenette.  
'But I do though' Alison replied quietly, as she took in the glorious sight of Riley's naked backside. She wasn't sure why she was so protective of the small brunette, she figured it was because she was younger and more vulnerable, but really Riley could take care of herself and Alison knew that. She didn't want to admit that under the drug abuse and prostitution, there was something about Riley that reminded her so much of the girl she loved back in Rosewood, and that protectiveness she felt for Emily had, somewhere along the line, transferred onto Riley. It was that protectiveness and inability to let go of lost loves, that had gotten Alison into the mess she was in now. Alison pulled out her phone and typed out a simple message, a message that it had taken her 4 days to come up with the words to.  
 _Hey it's Alison. Want to grab dinner?_

'I thought you wanted to do dinner?' Emily replied, her frustration mounting at Hanna's lack of attention over the last few days.  
'I do, but Caleb-'  
'Is clearly more important than I am, I get it' Emily interrupted, her voice filled with venom. 'Whatever Han, enjoy your time with Caleb. I'll just have dinner by myself, again' Emily bit before hanging up the phone. She knew deep down that Hanna deserved to live her life, and she felt bad for lashing out because the blonde had been so amazing to her over the years, always putting her first, but it hurt that Hanna hadn't been around the last few days. When the other woman had called to arrange dinner only a few hours ago, Emily felt happier, she felt like the heaviness that had been sitting over her the past few days was lifting and that she could breathe again. Having Hanna cancel only 2 hours later hurt Emily more than it should. She knew it wasn't normal to be so upset by a friend cancelling dinner plans, but Hanna was more than a friend. She was Emily's everything, her sole purpose of living, and Emily knew that it wasn't fair to put that pressure on someone else, but she couldn't help it. Hanna was the reason that Emily had stopped drinking. The blonde spent 2 years of her life picking Emily up from the floor of various different bars and lecturing the bartenders for serving underage girls, which was the reason that she couldn't go to The Flying Pony anymore. As soon as Dan had found out she was actually underage and had been barely 16 when he first served her, he was so angry he yelled at her and told her if she ever came back he'd be calling the cops. Hanna had basically blacklisted Emily from every single bar and restaurant with a liquor licence in a ten mile radius of Rosewood. She even applied for all the same colleges as Emily and insisted that they share a dorm so that she couldn't drink. Hanna had devoted the last 8 years of her life to keeping Emily sober, and when she thought of it that way, she guessed the blonde deserved a little free time to let loose, without having to worry about her alcoholic ball and chain.

Emily sighed as she sat back in her couch, thinking about the prospect of spending another night alone in front of the TV. She couldn't face another marathon of Breaking Bad, as great as the show was. Emily pulled out her phone, wondering if maybe Spencer or Aria would be free for dinner. She quickly typed out a text to the two of them, only to receive a quick reply from Aria that she was out with a client, followed by Spencer who stated that she and Toby were spending some quality time together. Emily sighed sadly at her phone, all her friends seemed to have their lives in order and here she was, alone again. She was contemplating having an early night when she remembered the napkin from earlier. Emily grabbed her bag and rummaged through, finding the napkin amongst the chaos that was her handbag. Emily typed the numbers into her phone and paused for a second before hitting the call button. Her heart was racing as she waited for the woman on the other end of the line to pick up.  
'Hello?'  
Emily almost dropped the phone at the sudden voice in her ear, that sweet, British accent that sounded like music.  
'Hi, Riley? It's Emily, from the coffee shop' Emily rambled nervously, mentally chastising herself for not planning this properly before calling.  
'Oh, Emily. I didn't expect to hear from you so soon' Riley stated, sounding pleasantly surprised.  
'Yeah well, my plans fell through tonight and I didn't have anything else lined up so I wondered if maybe you wanted to hang out? Have some fun?' Emily asked, regaining her charm that she had used to win over every other girl before.  
'Oh, I see. So I'm a last resort?' Riley replied, and Emily panicked instantly at the insinuation she had accidentally made.  
'No, no not at all!' Emily almost yelled down the phone, causing Riley to laugh.  
'Chill out, babe. I don't mind being your last resort, I'm just happy you called' Riley husked, causing a shiver to run down Emily's spine. 'I know a cool place we can go, I'll text you the address'  
'Ok, I'll see you in an hour?' Emily replied, her smile growing by the second at the prospect of spending time with this mysterious, captivating girl that she hadn't stopped thinking about.

Hanna stood outside the back alley diner that Spencer had told her to meet them at, shivering in the cool, October breeze. She wrapped her arms around herself to keep herself warm as she looked around in the dark, beginning to worry where the hell Spencer had told her to meet them. Hanna was growing impatient, and was just about to pull her phone out of her pocket when Spencer and Aria came walking down the small alleyway.  
'Spencer! Where the hell have you been? I've been waiting here for twenty minutes' Hanna growled angrily.  
'I know, I'm sorry. We got held up' Spencer replied, stopping just before Hanna, who peered around Spencer to see that Aria had stopped further along the road and was talking on the phone. The tiny brunette had an angry look on her face and it looked like she was yelling at someone.  
'Who's she talking to?' Hanna asked, nodding in Aria's direction.  
'I don't know' Spencer replied as she looked over her shoulder, her expression growing concerned at Aria's demeanour.  
'Well, whoever it is, she needs to hurry because I'm fucking cold and I need a drink' Hanna stated as she hopped around on the spot in an effort to warm herself up.

'I don't care. I told you to leave me alone, and I meant it. Now I have plans, so I'm going to go. Don't call me again' Aria growled down the phone as she hung up and headed over to her friends.  
'Sorry guys, that was a client. Big mess at work and he's freaking out' Aria lied convincingly as she let out a sigh.  
'No worries, I'm just freezing my balls off here' Hanna replied casually.  
'Hanna, you don't have balls' Spencer countered wearily.  
'Well it's a good fucking job, because if I had them, they're be blue by now' Hanna retorted, causing Aria to snicker.  
'Don't encourage her, Aria' Spencer groaned, knowing that now they would have to put up with sassy Hanna all night long. Just as Hanna was about to say something, a cab pulled up alongside the girls, causing them to all whip around at the unexpected entrance of the vehicle in the tiny and otherwise deserted street. A door opened and Hanna and Aria all but gasped when Alison got out of the car. Dressed in worn, skinny jeans and a Parka, she was a million miles from the Alison that they knew and loved all those years ago.  
'Hi. Did you miss me?'

Emily jumped into a cab, giving the address of the location that Riley had sent to her around half an hour before. She had no idea what the other woman had in store for them, where she was going or what they would be doing. Emily watched the city fly by, as she headed out of the city and over towards Brooklyn. When they pulled up down a secluded alleyway, Emily wondered if she'd given the drier the right address. She looked paid the driver and stepped out of the car, the chill October air hitting her bare arms and causing her to shiver slightly as she looked around the dark alleyway.  
'Emily!' she heard a voice, followed by Riley walking out from the shadows of the dark, narrow street.  
'Hey! Where the hell are we?' Emily asked, her brows furrowing in confusion at the uninviting location Riley had brought her to.  
'You'll see' Riley replied with a smirk, as she grabbed Emily by the hand and pulled her along down into the darkness. Emily began to grow a little anxious, she had heard stories about dark alleyways in New York and had always promised her Mom that she would never go down into dark streets with strangers, but Riley wasn't exactly a stranger now, was she? Emily watched with wide eyes as Riley pulled her through a door, giving a large, bouncer looking guy a nod of the head as they stepped inside the tiny, hidden doorway and made their way down a rickety flight of stairs. Suddenly music began pumping and the bass vibrated through the floor. They reached the bottom of the stairs and Riley pulled Emily in through another door, and suddenly Emily was taken aback with a burst of loud music and the brightest flashing lights she had ever seen. The small basement room was packed with drunken party goers, all of different ethnicities and with different styles, all dancing together like they had known each other for years. The room was small, but there must have been around 200 people crammed in, along with a bar and a DJ booth. With the added heat of the lights, the room was hot and Emily could feel the sweat sticking to her from the air. It was the most amazing place she had ever seen.

'What do you drink?' Riley shouted over the music, as they reached the bar. Emily momentarily froze, she hadn't thought about alcohol and how she would explain her way out of drinking with this completely perfect stranger that she had arranged to meet on a whim.  
'I'll just take a Diet Coke' Emily replied simply, hoping that Riley wouldn't question it, but judging by the look on the brunette's face she was going to be asking serious questions.  
'No, no, no! Here, I'll get you a beer' Riley pressured. Emily grabbed her arm as she turned to the bar, pulling her back around to face her.  
'No, seriously. Just a diet coke' Emily urged, her eyes pleading with the other girl to listen to her. Riley must have sensed the urgency and relented quickly, nodding her head slowly.  
'Ok, just a diet coke' Riley repeated. They held eye contact for a few moments, before Riley turned to grab the bartender's attention, ordering 2 Diet Cokes for herself and Emily. She wasn't sure what Emily's deal with drinking was, but she wasn't going to ruin the night by getting drunk if the taller brunette was against alcohol or something.  
'You could have ordered yourself a proper drink. You don't have to not drink because of me' Emily stated, feeling guilty that Riley had felt the need to sacrifice her drinking for Emily.  
'No, it's fine. I should probably detox anyway' Riley joked as she began to bop to the music and led the way to the centre of the smoky room.

Emily quickly felt her body move rhythmically to the music, her short, flowy dress swaying as she moved her hips as she eyes Riley's toned legs, protruding from a pair of ripped denim shorts, and her grey, loose fitting t-shirt showing her subtle curves as it clung in all the right places. Emily watched as she swung her hips, causing the blue and black checked shirt tied firmly at her waist, to swing and fly through the air with every movement. The woman in front of her was completely and utterly mesmerising under the red and blue coloured lighting, that seemed to illuminate Riley. Emily found herself moving closer, their bodies just inches away from touching. She could smell Riley's sweet perfume, mixed amongst the smell of heat that lingered in the air of the sticky bar. Their eyes connected, and Emily felt her breath hitch, as the lights flashed dangerously on those golden brown orbs that seemed to put her into a trance, and Emily could feel the arousal pooling between her legs. Before she could stop herself, Emily had closed the distance, capturing the smaller woman's lips in her own, her heart pounding so hard against her chest that she felt like it was going to burst right out onto the dancefloor. Whatever happened, Emily didn't care because this was the most alive she had felt in as long as she could remember, and it was exhilarating. Emily had spent years hooking up with random girls, and it had been good, but none of them awakened her as much as Riley was right now, and Emily wondered if she felt like this from just a kiss, what would it be like to go further. To feel Riley's hands on her naked body, her lips kissing every inch of her skin. What would if feel like to be completely fulfilled and satiated by the goddess, whose tongue was now brushing perfectly against her own in the messy, heated kiss they were sharing.

Hanna, Aria, Spencer and Alison sat in the dimly lit diner, an awkward silence hanging over them that none of the four women knew how to break, the only sound in the group coming from Aria's phone that was buzzing on the table. The tiny brunette picked it up and cancelled the incoming call without even looking at it. Aria and Spencer looked between each other and their hands, while Alison sat with her head hung, and Hanna just outright glared at the other blonde across the table.  
'So um, how has your week been?' Spencer tried awkwardly, causing Hanna to scoff at the brunette's lame attempt at starting a conversation with the practical stranger in front of them.  
'Look, let's just face it. This is awkward as fuck so why I'm going to stop us from beating around the bush, and just cut right through the damn thing' Hanna exclaimed, clasping her hands together on the table as she met Alison's eyes when the blonde finally looked up. 'Where the hell have you been, Ali? 9 fucking years and no phone call? No letter? Not even a fucking batman sign to light up the sky and tell us that actually, you're not dead!' Hanna ranted, her anger all coming out in one fell swoop. She had promised Spencer that she would go easy on Alison, but seeing the blonde in front of her just made everything real. It made all of the pain and suffering they had endured pointless and Hanna couldn't accept that.  
'Hanna' Spencer breathed a half warning, placing a hand on the blonde's arm to calm her. Spencer could see the pain in Alison's eyes at Hanna's words.  
'Don't Hanna me!' Hanna snapped, shrugging out from Spencer's grip. 'I've got answers, and unlike you, Spencer, I'm not afraid to ask them' Spencer and Aria both attempted to argue back to Hanna's words, but Alison interrupted before they could say anything.  
'She's right. There's no doubt that you guys all have a lot of questions, and you deserve answers. I promise you that I will try to answer each and every single one of them' Alison said sincerely, looking Hanna in the eyes as she silently tried to tell the blonde how sorry she was.

Suddenly none of the women knew what to say or ask. Even Hanna, who had so many questions, wasn't really sure where to start.  
'Ali, you let us think you were dead' Aria said softly, breaking the silence. It wasn't a question, more of a statement, but it got across the one thing they all wanted to know. Why had Alison faked her death? Alison looked down at the table in thought for a moment, before looking back up, though still avoiding eye contact with the three women in front of her.  
'I didn't mean for you to think I was dead, things just got a lot messier than I originally intended' Alison started to explain. 'I needed to get out of town for a while, I didn't think it'd be such a big deal, but then the police were searching for me and people were getting arrested. Then I saw that they were treating it as a murder investigation and I panicked. I was scared that I'd get into trouble for wasting everyone's time' Alison explained, her voice wavering as she recounted that first year being on the run. 'I was alone and scared, I didn't have anywhere to go and no one to talk to. I wanted to reach out to you guys so badly, but by the time I made it back to Rosewood, they found a girl and identified her as me. I couldn't exactly turn up at your houses after that, so I watched from the distance for a few days, checked to make sure you were all ok. I watched the funeral from a distance, kept out of sight and then I left'  
'Wait, you said you saw pictures of us in a magazine' Spencer questioned, her brow furrowing as she put together the pieces like a giant jigsaw puzzle.  
'I did, a few days after I saw you all pull Emily from the church, I saw the pictures. I wasn't sure what was worse, seeing them in real life or seeing them in print, knowing that the world was seeing them too.' Alison replied with a sigh. She had been haunted by the memories of that day. Seeing Emily swigging from the Whisky bottle like her life depended on it. The way her red-rimmed and puffy eyes no longer sparkled like they had just a year earlier. Alison hated herself for so long, knowing that she had destroyed the one honest thing in her life.

'So you saw what a mess you'd made of Emily, and yet you still didn't come back' Hanna stated bitterly, a look of total disgust written across her face as though Alison had just pulled down her pants and shit on the table. Aria's phone buzzed again, causing Spencer to look down at the offending object. Aria hastily scooped it up and switched it off before placing it in her bag.  
'Hanna, how could she have come back? She couldn't have just walked up to us at her own funeral!' Aria countered, wanting so badly to just fix this mess and bring Alison back home with them.  
'She could have found a way, if she really wanted to. If she cared about Emily as much as she says, she wouldn't have let her get in that state. Because I'm betting anything that Ali saw Em with that bottle, and didn't even try to stop her' Hanna argued as she began to lose control. Her hands shook with anger.  
'I wanted nothing more than to take that bottle off of her, Hanna. But I'd already caused so much damage, I was scared of causing more' Alison tried to explain, her bright blue eyes screaming that she was being honest. Screaming with Hanna to understand.  
'I can't believe you' Hanna muttered as she cupped her hand over her mouth and chin, trying desperately to hold it together and not scream at the blonde sitting in front of her. 'Do you even know what I went through with Emily after you left? How many bars I had to haul her drunk ass home from? How many times I sat with her, all fucking night, while she sobbed over you!? Do you even realise that Em was so fucking hurt by you, that she hasn't let anyone else in since the day you fucking left, because she's too scared of getting hurt again. She's too scared of anything that could cause her to walk into a bar and drink herself to death, which she almost did several times by the way! And I was the one who had to explain to her Mom for the third time why Emily was in the hospital getting her stomach pumped, and how it wasn't her Mom's fault that her daughter was so fucked in the head by her dead secret girlfriend!' Hanna was crying by now. Hot, fat tears of rage flooded down her face as she finally let go of all of the frustration she had felt over the years. All of the things she had kept bottled inside, because she wanted so badly to be strong for Emily. Hanna loved Emily, and she would do all of those things a hundred times over for the brunette, but it hurt that they had gone through all of that for nothing. It was like running a marathon, going through the months of rigorous training and on the day, you ran until your feet bled and you were mentally and physically exhausted, only to discover that the marathon had been cancelled and nobody had informed you.

Alison felt her own tears stinging at Hanna's words. She knew that things with Emily had been bad, she had figured that much when she had seen the brunette drinking alone on the bench outside the church, but she had no idea that they were as bad as Hanna was telling her. No idea that because of her, Emily had almost died. Because of her, Emily struggled with horrific demons on a daily basis. Because of her, the most beautiful and pure person in this entire world, was now as damaged and fucked up as she was.  
'I'm so sorry, Hanna' Alison whispered through her tears, her heart breaking at the thought of what she had done to Emily. 'Let me try to make it better. Maybe if I saw Emily-'  
'No. I'm sorry Ali, but I can't let that happen, not yet anyway' Hanna replied through her own tears, and Spencer and Aria sat in silence, watching the emotional exchange between the two girls who both held Emily Fields' heart, and had given theirs right back. 'I want to trust you, I really do, but I can't. I can't let you destroy her again' Hanna explained, her voice soft but rough, and so full of raw emotion.  
'I respect that' Alison replied, nodding her head in understanding, because she knew that if the tables were reversed, there was no way in hell she would let Hanna within a mile of Emily. 'Thank you, for looking after her when I couldn't' Alison added, and for the first time Hanna could hear the sincerity in Alison's voice. She could see the pain that the blonde was feeling, because though she had made the decision to leave, whatever her reason may have been, Alison had lost Emily just the same. She had had to make the decision to walk away from the girl she so clearly still loved, and Hanna thought for a moment that whatever it was that made the blonde leave must have been terrible, for her to leave behind Emily Fields.

'Ali, I have to ask. What made you leave?' Hanna asked cautiously, her voice cracking still under the force of the tears that still brimmed her eyes. Aria and Spencer's curiosity piqued, wondering if Alison was finally going to answer the question they had all be wanting the answer to. Alison took a deep breath, and spencer saw how her hands shook as she took in the enormity of the question.  
'There simple answer. My Dad' Alison started, her voice shaking as she re-lived that night. 'But I guess you don't want the simple answer' Alison added, noting the questioning looks on the three women's faces. As far as anyone was aware, Alison DiLaurentis came from a loving, happy home.  
'You all know that my Mom left a few years before I did, I was just never honest about why' Alison started to explain, recalling how she had told everyone that her Mom had been offered an amazing job in Charlotte, and had relocated, while she and Jason stayed behind with their Dad to finish up school.  
'My Mom and Dad's marriage wasn't as happy and blissful as I made it out to be. They fought, a lot, and the more they fought, the more my Dad drank. The more he drank, the worse their fights got' Alison shivered as she remembered one night, their fight had gotten so bad that she had heard the screaming from upstairs. How she had hid under her covers, as she heard smashes coming from the living room, followed by her Mom crying. She had wanted to protect her Mom so badly, but was too scared to leave the safety of her bedroom. Spencer, Hanna and Aria all looked to each other, none of them knowing what to say. Spencer wanted to tell Ali that she didn't need to tell them, that she could stop remembering, but she also wanted to know the truth.  
'Eventually my Mom had enough of it all, she packed her bags in the middle of the night and she left without even saying goodbye. I don't know where she went, or where she is now. I know she went to the funeral, but she left town right after and I don't know where she went. I searched for her for a while, but I couldn't find anything on her' Alison's tears were falling thick and fast, the pain she had fought for years, resurfacing with a vengeance. Spencer thought back to the funeral, remembering how Jason had sat between his parents. She didn't think it strange at the time, too caught up in her own grief to notice anything, but now that she thought back, she realised that that was probably the first time either of Alison's parents had seen each other in a few years and it should have been obvious by their lack of comfort for one another.

'My Dad's temper got worse over time, he started to blame Jason and me for our Mom leaving him' Alison let out a sickening chuckle at this thought, closing her eyes as they burned with tears. 'It started with shouting, a lot of shouting. He became really controlling, wanted to know where we were and what we were doing all the time. When Jason left Rosewood and headed to Canada, he left to get away from my Dad.' Ali's head became filled with memories of that fearful night, when the one person who was left to protect her, walked out the door forever. The way she begged him to take her with him, begged him to not leave her alone. He had promised that he would come back for her, but it was too late by that point. 'It was Jason leaving, that drove my Dad that extra mile. He'd get so angry, that I was scared to go home. One night, I was so scared of going home, that I turned my phone off and went to Emily's house. She dropped me home early hours of the morning and-' Alison paused for a moment, her face draining of the little colour that was left as she recalled that night. The night that she and Emily had slept together for the first time, the happiest night of her life, because she had spent it with the girl she loved. Yet, it was to be tainted by the worst thing that could happen to her.  
'My Dad saw me kissing her goodnight. When I got into the house, he was strangely calm'

 _Alison walked into the dark house, praying that the turned out lights meant that her Dad was long asleep, looking back she knew she should have known better. As she closed the door, a side lamp switched on, making her jump.  
'Are you done kissing your dyke friend?' Kenneth asked, his words slurred and his voice filled with a hated that shook Alison to the core.  
'W-What?' she questioned, her heart hammering at the fear of her Dad seeing her and Emily, not knowing what was going to happen.  
'You heard me. You and that girl, sneaking around town making fools of yourselves!' His voice raised as he stood from the chair and slowly made his way over to Alison. 'You think this was how I raised you? To become a slutty little dyke?'  
'Dad, you've got it-'  
'Oh, I've got it wrong? So you didn't just have your tongue half way down Emily's throat?' he asked, getting closer by the second and Alison could see the dangerous flash in his eyes. The Scotch fuelled anger written all across the face of the man who should be biologically programmed to protect her, yet here she was scurrying away from him.  
'Dad, please. You're scaring me' Alison begged, her eyes wide and frightened as he towered over her.  
'Oh, I'm scaring you?' He taunted, his tone venomous. 'Well, maybe you should have thought about that! Now, are you going to lie to me again about your little girlfriend, or do I need to go over to that house and get her to tell me the truth?' His eyes bored into Alison, freezing her in place.  
'Fine' Kenneth snapped as he turned towards the door, grabbing for the handle. Alison threw herself at him, scared that he would hurt Emily.  
'No, leave her alone!' she screamed, as she tried to pull the much larger and stronger man away from the door. 'Please, I love her!' With that, his had struck backwards, his ring catching her cheek and slicing it open. Alison hit the floor from the force, claret pouring from her face.  
'You don't know anything about love!' he spat as he turned to face his daughter. 'You're just like your mother, a selfish little bitch' Alison cowered, as she prepared for another blow. She felt a hand grab her by the hair and she screamed as he pulled her along the ground. Her hands gripped at her scalp, trying to take back some control, but she could feel the large chunks of hair being ripped out of her head as he pulled her with force. Alison struggled as he pulled her through the house, hitting her head hard on a door frame. _

'I don't remember much after that. The next thing I remember, I was waking up in a forest somewhere. My whole body hurt and I couldn't move. I don't know how long I was there for, at least a day. I finally managed to get up and drag myself out to the road. A car stopped and a guy picked me up and took me to the hospital. I had five broken ribs, a punctured lung and bleeding to the abdomen' Alison spoke, her voice sombre as she told her story, and none of the other three girls could quite believe what they were hearing. They felt horrified that Alison had been through that. 'He basically left me for dead, and I wasn't going to go back to that, so I gave a fake name and Date of Birth to the Doctors and once I was well enough to leave, I discharged myself and I walked. I wasn't even sure where I was, let alone where I was going. I ended up here' Alison finished, looking away from the three women. She couldn't bare to see the looks in their eyes.  
'Ali-' Spencer started, not quite sure what to say to the blonde.  
'We're so sorry' Hanna finished, her anger dissipated from the horror of Alison's story. How could she be mad at her, when she had literally fled for her life?

Emily gripped her hands in brunette hair as they made out in the back of the cab, oblivious to the driver who was peering at them through the rear view mirror.  
'Fuck, I can't wait to get you into bed' Riley husked as her hand wandered up Emily's thigh and slipped under her dress teasingly. Emily pulled her into a bruising kiss, her tongue darting into the other girls mouth hungrily, needing more of the intoxication that was Riley. When they pulled up at her apartment, Emily tossed a 50 at the driver and pulled Riley out of the car. The girls practically ran up the stairs and fell through Emily's front door, their lips clashing as the two girls began to strip each other of the clothes that were blocking skin contact. Happy that they were down to their panties, Emily lifted the petite girl, who wrapped her legs around her waist in response, and walked them to the bed, lowering her as she began to brutally attack Riley's neck with her teeth and tongue. Riley's moans for more spurred Emily on. Her hands quickly made their way between Riley's legs and she let out a moan when she felt that sweet, warm wetness that settled there.  
'I'm going to fuck you so hard, the neighbours will hear you screaming my name' Emily husked as she bit down on Riley's earlobe and thrust her fingers hard into her centre.

Hanna made her way up the stairs of the apartment block with Alison in tow.  
'You didn't have to let me stay with you, you know' Alison said softly, but she was grateful that Hanna had invited her back. She felt that, other than Emily, Hanna was the one she had the most to make up to, and this was a great start.  
'I wanted to. You've been gone for too long, we've got a lot to catch up on' Hanna replied with a genuine smile. 'I'm still mad as hell at you for not coming to us, though' Hanna added with a stern, but playful look.

'Fuck, Emily!' Riley screamed as she came hard against Emily's hand, her body shuddering violently.

Hanna and Alison froze outside of Emily's door at the sudden moan that came from beyond the thin walls. Hanna looked at Alison awkwardly, silently kicking herself for not getting the elevator.  
'Sounds like Emily's having a good night' Alison mused, but Hanna could hear the sadness in the blonde's voice.  
'She doesn't know' Hanna replied softly as she placed a comforting arm around Alison. 'Besides, she never calls these bimbos back anyway, you've got nothing to worry about' Hanna smirked, as she led Alison up the next flight of stairs and to her apartment. She mentally thought about how on Earth she was going to tell Emily about Alison, but she knew that she needed to do it soon.


	5. One Call Away

Alison woke to the feeling of a warm body beside her and the sun filtering in through the windows and onto her face. She blinked, squinting her eyes through the bright sunlight, as she looked across at the blonde body beside her. She smiled as she remembered the night before, memories of laughter and wine and catching up with Hanna, as if nothing had ever happened. As if they were old friends who had lost touch and Alison hadn't been 'dead' for almost a decade. As if there were no secrets and there were no underlying emotions still clinging to conversations, wanting to creep back in and cause hell. Alison lay in the bed for as long as she could stand, before she pulled herself from the white sheets, ignoring the dull thump in her head as she made her way to Hanna's kitchen and began to make coffee. She raided Hanna's fridge in search of something for breakfast, but all she found was some milk that looked, and smelled, like it had been in there as long as Alison had been away, and some cheese that Alison wasn't entirely sure whether it was supposed to actually have those blue spots, or whether it was just mouldy. Either way, Alison concluded that there was absolutely no point in trying to make breakfast in Hanna's apartment.

'I see nothing's changed. You still get up at the ass crack of dawn' Hanna mumbled sleepily as she made her way from the bedroom to the Kitchen/Living Room. Alison turned to see the blonde dressed in hot pants and a baggy vest and her hear tumbled high on top of her head in a messy bun, as she plopped herself down onto the couch. Alison chuckled, pouring two cups of black coffee before making her way over to join Hanna.  
'Thanks' Hanna said gratefully, her voice hoarse from the previous night's alcohol, as she cupped her hands around the hot cup.  
'You're welcome' Alison replied, smiling slightly at how easy this seemed to be. The two women sat in a comfortable silence for several minutes, just enjoying each other's company.  
'I'm going to have to pop down and see Em soon' Hanna sighed, breaking the silence.  
'Why?' Alison questioned as she blew into her coffee cup, her heart feeling heavy at the sudden mention of the brunette's name.  
'Well, I have to tell her about you. I mean it's been nearly impossible to keep it from her, now that I've seen you there's no way I can keep it from her' Hanna replied, her voice heavy as she spoke. 'Fuck knows how I'm going to have that conversation with her' Hanna groaned, dreading the inevitable way that Emily would handle this news. Alison couldn't help but feel incredibly guilty for putting Hanna, and Emily, through that conversation.  
'I can do it if you want. I know that sounds stupid, but I can find a way. I'll write her a letter or something' Alison offered, her voice soft and more sincere than Hanna had ever heard from her before.  
'No, no it's fine. It's probably best if it comes from me, I can try to minimise the damage' Hanna replied, grateful that Alison wanted to help. Speaking to Alison alone last night and spending one on one time with the blonde had really opened Hanna's eyes. She still felt a little angry with Alison for not coming to them sooner, but she could understand why. Hanna had never felt what it was like to fear for your life, but she was pretty sure if she ever did she'd have ran straight the hell out of there and never looked back.  
'Ok. Just please let her know how sorry I am' Alison asked and Hanna could see that even after all these years, Alison still held so much love for Emily, it was almost heart breaking.

Emily blinked her eyes open and let out a small yawn as she woke from her sleep. It took her longer than it should have to notice the body in the bed beside her, but she couldn't stop the smile from creeping up her face when she saw the petite body of the brunette woman tangled in the sheets beside her. Emily had woken with many different girls in her bed, but this was the first time she wasn't mentally preparing a plan on how to get the other woman out as quickly as possible. This time, Emily was quite content lying beside the other body and watching the way her bare back slowly rose and fell with every breath she took. For the first time in as long as Emily could remember, she had managed to have fun with someone and hadn't spent the entire night thinking about Alison. There was something about Riley that drew Emily in, something familiar, yet unfamiliar, about the other woman.  
'Good Morning' Riley husked, her voice heavy from sleep, as she rolled onto her side to face Emily.  
'Good Morning' Emily echoed with a smile as she felt herself getting lost in those caramel coloured eyes. Both women lay in silence for a few minutes, neither of them really knowing what to say to each other in the harsh light of day. Emily knew that she liked Riley, but she also realised that she barely knew the girl. Sure, they had had a great night last night, they danced and laughed, but they didn't really get to know each other. Emily was reminded of her therapist's request to go on a date, and though last night could be considered as a date to some people, Emily found herself wanting to go the full nine miles and take Riley out on a proper date, whatever that may be.  
'Riley, I'd like to take you out for dinner some time' Emily started, her voice soft and suddenly shy. 'Would that be ok with you?' she asked nervously. Riley looked stunned, frozen in place by the question and Emily began to panic.  
'It's ok if you don't want to, I mean, if this is just a one-time thing then-'Emily rambled.  
'No. No, it's not that' Riley interrupted, her expression still unchanged. 'It's just, no one has ever asked me out on a date before' she revealed, and in just that second of honesty, Emily could see that beneath Riley's confident and brash exterior, she was just a small, scared little girl who had been through a world of hurt and pain. Suddenly Emily felt the need to protect her and take care of her.  
'Well, I'm asking you now' Emily finally replied as she shuffled a little closer in the bed. 'What do you say?' she asked again, their faces only inches apart and Emily could feel Riley's breath on her face.  
'It's pretty hard to say no when you're looking at me like that' Riley whispered her reply, before closing the gap and gently brushing her lips against Emily's.

'So you'll call me once you've told her?' Alison asked as Hanna walked her out of the apartment and down the stairs of the building.  
'Yes, I promise you I will call you as soon as I can' Hanna promised, not wanting to make any promises she couldn't keep. Hanna wasn't sure how this would go down with Emily, it could take a while before Hanna would be able to contact Alison.  
'Ok' Alison sighed knowingly, and Hanna could see that Alison also realised that this could all go incredibly wrong and they could be about to unleash a world of pain on Emily. 'Hanna, I know you will but- please look after her' Alison asked anxiously.  
'I always do' Hanna replied with a small smile. 'Go, get yourself home' Hanna said as they stopped outside of Emily's door. Hanna pulled Alison in for a hug and squeezed her tight.  
'It's going to be ok' Hanna added before they parted and Alison headed back down the next flight of stairs and out of the building. Hanna took a deep breath, mentally preparing herself for what she was about to do, before she fished her keys out of her bag and let herself into Emily's apartment.

'I can't believe you don't like pancakes? Who doesn't like pancakes?' Emily asked in outrage as she fried off the bacon on the stove.  
'Sorry, there is nothing better than a Full English to start your day' Riley countered as she sat at the small table to the side of the kitchenette.  
'No, I'm sorry but a Full English is just an excuse to eat dinner for breakfast' Emily argued, shaking her head as she placed the bacon onto a plate. 'Like, who wants sausages for breakfast?'  
'It's not just sausages!' Riley replied, mocking offence. 'I'm talking the best bangers you can get, fried eggs, bacon, and not the shit thin slivers of meat you call bacon here in America. I'm talking big, fuck off thick rashers with the fat around the edge! Black Pudding, Baked Beans, god I miss baked beans' Riley rambled, her mouth practically watering at the thought of a good, old fashioned English Breakfast. She loved living in New York, but Riley did miss home simply for the food.  
'What's black pudding?' Emily asked, her nose crumpled at the description of Riley's idea of a perfect breakfast.  
'If I told you what was in it, you would never try it' Riley chuckled, which caused Emily to furrow her brow even more as she sat beside Riley at the table, serving Riley her bacon, eggs and toast while she had pancakes and bacon.  
'Just by you saying that, I know that I never want to try it' Emily replied, shaking her head slightly as her mind filled with all kinds of gross things that this 'Black Pudding' could be made from.  
'It's so good, you definitely need to try it. My roommate loves it!' Riley insisted as she tucked into her breakfast. 'Thanks for breakfast' she added, remembering her manners.  
'You're welcome' Emily replied with a smile. It was the first time she had let a girl stay for breakfast and she was pleasantly surprised by how nice it felt to be cooking for someone other than Hanna.  
'You have a roommate?' she asked, realising that she didn't know this fact about Riley, and Emily found herself wanting to get to know everything about the brunette.

'Hey, Em' Hanna greeted, interrupting the conversation as she opened the door, before turning to see that Emily had company.  
'Oh, Hi!' she added in surprise, as she made her way across the tiny apartment. Emily turned in her seat to see the blonde standing sheepishly in the middle of the room and she felt her frustration immediately build at Hanna's sudden appearance after being given the cold shoulder for the past week.  
'What are you doing here, Hanna?' Emily asked, her tone harsh, causing Hanna to visibly flinch. 'What, you broke up with Caleb again and now suddenly you think I'm important enough to be around?' she asked bitterly. Riley looked between the two women in confusion, unsure of who this woman was that had let herself into Emily's apartment.  
'Em, you know it's not like that' Hanna sighed. She knew Emily was mad at her, but she had underestimated how mad she was. 'Can we just talk, please? Alone?' Hanna hinted, glancing at the strange girl that was making herself at home in Emily's apartment.  
'I'm sorry, but when did you get to dictate who comes and goes from my apartment?' Emily snapped, her eyes narrowing at Hanna.  
'Maybe I should go' Riley piped up, looking awkwardly between Hanna and Emily as she rose from the table.  
'No, Riley you don't have to leave' Emily replied, her voice softening as she looked at Riley.  
'No, you two clearly have things to discuss, and I should get home. My Roommate will be worrying about me' Riley stated. 'Thanks again for breakfast' she added as she leaned down and placed a soft kiss to Emily's cheek.  
'Call you later?' Emily sighed as she looked up into Riley's eyes for the last time this morning.  
'You better' Riley replied flirtatiously, before she turned. 'Nice to meet you, Hanna' she added before she brushed past the blonde woman and made her way out of the apartment.

Hanna made her way across to the table, taking the seat previously occupied by Riley, while Emily glared at her.  
'Em, I'm sorry that I've been shit' Hanna started. 'I promise you, there's a good reason. Just let me explain, please?' she begged, wanting to fix things with Emily before she blurted out the news that she had been keeping from the brunette. Emily softened, seeing the worry in Hanna's eyes and misinterpreting the reason.  
'Hanna, friends fight. It doesn't mean that I don't love you or that we're not going to be friends anymore' Emily stated softly. 'But, I'm sorry too. You should be able go and have fun, and I shouldn't be a crazy bitch about it' she relented, reaching over to toy with Hanna's fingers on the table.  
'Well, I'm used to you being a crazy bitch, so' Hanna mused with a smirk as she linked her hands with Emily's and used her free hand to pick up a piece of left over bacon from Riley's plate before taking a bite from it. Emily rolled her eyes at Hanna's actions.  
'What, I'm hungry!' Hanna exclaimed through a mouthful of bacon. 'And you make good bacon' she hummed, closing her eyes as she savoured the taste.  
'Not according to Riley. She says that bacon is better in England' Emily replied, her forehead furrowing at the other woman's previous statement on British food.  
'Yeah, who is she, anyway?' Hanna asked, remembering that there had been another person in the room just a few minutes ago.  
'She's just a girl I met. She works at a coffee shop a few blocks away, we exchanged numbers and hung out last night. It was fun' Emily explained, but Hanna didn't miss the way her friend's eyes lit up when she spoke about the other woman.  
'Wow, you like her?' Hanna asked with a smile. She felt shit, because Alison was back and she knew how much the blonde still loved Emily, but Hanna hadn't seen Emily with this much life in her for such a long time that she couldn't bring herself to take it away now.  
'Yeah, I think I do' Emily replied with a small nod. 'I'm taking her for dinner on Saturday' she added, smiling wider at the thought of going on a date.  
'You're seeing her again?' Hanna asked in surprise. 'That's a huge step, Em. I'm proud of you' she stated truthfully, because she was. She knew how hard it was for Emily to put herself out there, and here she was, freefalling with a perfect stranger. Maybe Riley was what Emily needed to finally bring her back to herself again.  
'Yeah, I'm actually looking forward to it' Emily said, surprising even herself with this information. 'Anyway, enough about me. What was it you came to talk to me about? It must have been important for you to chase my date out of my apartment' she added with a chuckle.  
'Oh, nothing. I just wanted to make things up with you' Hanna lied as she finished off Riley's unfinished breakfast, feeling the guilt rise up inside of her that she couldn't tell Emily about Alison.  
'Oh, well if you really want to make things up with me, maybe we could do lunch today?' Emily asked, feeling hopeful. 'I only have a couple physio clients this morning but I'll be done by twelve, then I don't have anything until my therapy at three so I need to kill a few hours' she added with a tilt of the head.  
'Sure, why not. I don't think we'll be busy today, and the way I see it, if these rich bitches cant dress themselves then they don't deserve to be able to afford the clothes' Hanna replied with a small shrug.

'So, Emily. Tell me, how has this week been for you?'  
'Pretty good actually' Emily replied confidently. For the first time since she had started her therapy sessions, Emily was able to look Elizabeth in the eye. She didn't feel the need to stare at the bare, cream walls of the room, or down at the grey cushions of the loveseat she was sat on. She felt freer than before, more open and more willing to talk, because she had good things to talk about for the first time in a long time.  
'I went on a date' Emily added with a smile. Elizabeth's smile beamed at this news.  
'That's excellent Emily, I'm so proud of you for going through with it. How was it?' Elizabeth asked, feeling genuinely happy for her client.  
'It was amazing. Riley is a great girl, we had fun and I think I'd like to see her again' Emily replied, her mind spinning with endless possibilities. 'I'm just feeling a little worried' she admitted, her smile dropping slightly.  
'And what is it that worries you?' Elizabeth asked, her tone in that typically soft, shrink style that was slightly condescending but also slightly enticing, like you wanted to answer every question that was asked of you, as honestly as you could. Emily was sure that was the reason psychologists used that tone of voice; maybe it was something they were taught while training.  
'I don't want to get hurt again' Emily answered after a moment, looking down at her fingers as she suddenly felt her previous confidence disappear and become replaced with an overwhelming sense of vulnerability.

Alison pulled the tight dress over her head, tugging at the bottom of the incredibly short skirt of the black, glittery dress. She fluffed her hair, twirling the curls around her fingers to pull them back into shape and glided her lipstick over her lips, smacking them together satisfyingly. Usually, Alison would love getting dolled up for a night out, but when she looked at herself in the mirror, she didn't see a fabulous looking woman, she felt physically repulsed by the sight of herself. The outfit that she had worn a hundred times before, suddenly screamed trashy, and Alison wanted nothing more than to rip it off of her and climb into bed in a pair of PJs.  
'Knock knock' Riley called, knocking lightly on the wooden door as she popped her head into the room that they shared. 'How are you feeling?' she asked as she made her way into the room, sitting herself on the end of the bed, her feet dangling off of the edge.  
'Honestly, I'd much rather not be doing this' Alison admitted as she gave herself one final look in the mirror and turned to face Riley.  
'You really don't have to. I can go instead' Riley insisted, causing Alison to shake her head.  
'No. Not a chance. As much as I don't want to be doing this, I don't want you to do it even more' Alison replied. 'It's just dinner anyway, right?' she reasoned, more so to calm herself than Riley.  
'Just dinner and then it's over' Riley confirmed with a small smile. 'I'm sorry that I got you into this' she added, feeling guilty for the fact that Alison was now stuck doing this because of her.  
'Look, I'm not going to say it's ok, because it's not' Alison replied honestly. 'You need to get out of this, and you need to do it soon. You can't live your life like this and if I'm honest, I don't know how much longer I can live like this either'  
'What do you mean?' Riley asked, suddenly worried. Her forehead scrunched up in confusion as she looked up at Alison, who was leaning against the dresser.  
'I mean that if this doesn't end, then I have to consider my options' Alison stated seriously, her voice low. She had been thinking it for a while, that maybe she needed to cut ties with Riley for her own good. She didn't want to leave the other woman, she cared about her after all, but Alison was becoming very aware that things might never change with Riley and with the girls, and possibly Emily, back in the picture, Alison was finally seeing daylight again. The thought of seeing Emily again made Alison want to be the best possible version of herself, if only to support Emily the way she clearly needed.  
'Holly-' Riley started, but quickly realising that she didn't really know what to say in response to this revelation.  
'I have to go' Alison said, pushing herself from the dresser. 'I'll see you later' she added, before leaving the room, and the apartment, and leaving Riley to consider the words she had just said.

Alison walked into the low lit bar. It definitely wasn't the classiest of establishments; in fact it was a total dive. Alison could feel her feet sticking to the floor as she made her way through the small bar in search of the man she was meeting.  
'Excuse me, I'm looking for Eduardo?' she asked the barman, her stomach knotting with anxiety as she felt eyes boring at her from all directions. The barman looked her up and down, eyeing her cleavage for an uncomfortably long time before answering.  
'He's out back' the barman answered in a thick accent, Alison wasn't sure what accent. Maybe Puerto Rican? Mexican? She wasn't entirely sure, all she knew was that this wasn't the kind of place she wanted to be staying in and if she had been nervous before, she was positively shitting brick houses right now. She nodded in response to the man and headed in the direction to where he pointed. She reached a dark wooden door and placed her hand on it, looking back at the barman for confirmation. The bartender nodded with a knowing smile, and Alison composed herself before she pushed it open and entered. She was instantly hit by cigarette smoke and the music from before was replaced by jeers of laughter coming from a small table, surrounded by four men who were sitting on empty barrels and crates. The four men looked up from their card game, suddenly aware of Alison's presence. Their laughter stopped and one of the men stood up, placing his cards on the table. He was thin and greasy looking, his hair was slicked back and he wore an old, blue suit that was far too big for him. Alison guessed it was probably a hand me down from his Father, or maybe even Grandfather judging by the state of it. His off-white shirt was untucked and his top three buttons was unfastened, revealing a small tuft of hair on his scrawny chest.  
'You must be Holly' he asked in the same thick accent as the barman outside.  
'Yeah' she replied, her voice suddenly dry.  
'I'm Eduardo' He stated proudly as he made his way over. 'Jeff did good tonight. Sending me such a beautiful woman' he added as he become impossibly close. Alison could smell his cheap aftershave; it burned her nose as he got closer. She wanted to move away, but she was frozen in to position, her legs forgetting that they actually had a purpose.  
'She's a beauty, right boys?' he turned to the group of men, who were still sitting at the make-shift card table with their cards in their hands.  
'Yeah' they all agreed in chorus, and suddenly Alison felt like a piece of fresh meant for them to pounce on.  
'Why don't you come have a drink with us, Holly' Eduardo offered, but Alison was sure it was more of a demand than politeness. Eduardo led her to the table and Alison almost punched him when she felt his hand lightly graze across the swell of her ass. One of the men handed her a bottle of beer, she noticed it was dusty but took it anyway, hiding a grimace as she put the bottle to her lips. She knew how men like these worked, and she knew that her night would be much easier if she just went with what they wanted.

Aria and Spencer were sat in their living room eating Ramen noodles when they had gotten the text from Hanna that she was on her way over. Apparently it was an emergency, but Spencer figured that Hanna was just looking for an excuse to get into their closets again, since they had banned her from entering their apartment when they weren't there. Aria on the other hand, wondered if it could be something to do with Emily and Alison.  
'I'm telling you, it can't be anything serious. She would have called us' Spencer insisted as she twirled her fork around the noodles in her bowl.  
'I don't know, there's a lot going on at the moment. Wasn't Hanna going to tell Em about Alison today?' Aria countered thoughtfully as she mindlessly played with her own noodles. Aria's phone buzzed, signalling an incoming phone call. Aria looked at the phone and instantly cancelled the call.  
'Speaking of having a lot going on. What's going on with you? You're phone never seems to stop these days' Spencer asked suspiciously as she eyed Aria's phone. 'And don't say it's work, because I know you're lying' she added, cutting Aria off as she was about to talk.  
'It's nothing' Aria replied, shaking her head slightly as her phone buzzed again for the fourth time in the past thirty minutes, this time signalling a text message.  
'Aria-'  
'Guys' Hanna cut Spencer off, her cheeks red and flushed as she burst into the apartment. Aria screamed a little at the sudden intrusion, while Spencer just glared at Hanna.  
'Jesus Hanna! Knock much?' Spencer half yelled, while Aria tried to catch her breath. Spencer eyed her again, unsure why the petit woman was so jumpy.  
'What, I have a key?' Hanna replied, holding up the bunch of keys in her hand with a questioning pout.  
'Yeah, a key that I'm now thinking maybe I should confiscate' Spencer replied.  
'What was the big emergency, Hanna?' Aria asked, wanting to stop Spencer and Hanna from getting into a bickering match, she really wasn't in the mood to referee today. Hanna plopped herself down between Spencer and Aria, instantly reaching in with her fingers to grab a few of Aria's noodles with her fingers, causing Spencer to look at her in disgust and Aria to just sigh and hand over the bowl, since she wasn't really eating them anyway.  
'What, I get hungry when I'm stressed!' Hanna protested as she began to twirl the noodles onto the fork.

'Why are you here, Hanna?' Spencer questioned again, her patience wearing thin quickly. Hanna chewed and swallowed the mouthful of noodles quickly and handed the bowl back to Aria, who sighed and placed it on the coffee table in front of them.  
'So, Ali came home with me last night. We got talking and we had fun' Hanna started to explain, her words leaving her mouth rapidly as though she were attempting the word record for the fastest speaker. 'She asked me to tell Em' Hanna added nervously.  
'Ok, so why is this an emergency?' Spencer asked slowly, not quite following Hanna's train of thought. 'I mean, I know that it's going to be hard but we all knew that eventually we would have to tell her' she added, looking to Aria for support.  
'Yeah, I mean, none of us want Emily to hit the bottle again but we have to tell her at some point. Better now than later, right?' Aria added with a small shrug.  
'No, you guys don't get it' Hanna replied, shaking her head slightly. 'Emily met someone. A girl, someone'  
'Emily meets girls all the time, Hanna. It's never anything serious' Spencer stated, rolling her eyes gently as though she thought Hanna were being ridiculous.  
'No, she doesn't. Emily meets girls to fuck, and that's it. As in, she takes them home, does the deed and kicks them out the next morning. This girl, she went on a date with. They had breakfast the next morning, and she like, likes her.' Hanna explained. 'Guys, she's really happy right now. This is what we've been waiting for her to do for years, and she's finally doing it, and now I have to tell her about Ali and it's going to break her heart. Again' Spencer and Aria sat in shock at what Hanna had just told them. Emily had never gotten this close to a proper relationship before.  
'Shit' Aria breathed as she blew out a puff of air from her cheeks.  
'This is going to be messy' Spencer stated as she bit down on the corner of her mouth.

'Ok, Mateo. What you got?'  
'Nada' Mateo replied in frustration as he placed his cards face up on the table.  
'Diego?'  
'Two Pair' Diego stated, throwing his cards down and grabbing for the box of cigarettes beside him. Alison watched as he lit one up and inhaled, the smoke swirling through air as though it were dancing the most beautiful dance.  
'Carlos?'  
'What you got?' Carlos asked, his eyebrow raised and a cheeky glint in his eye.  
'No, no. You first' Eduardo insisted, his own eyes beaming with confidence.  
'I think you should go first' Carlos stated.  
'One of you pendejos just go' Mateo piped up in frustration, banging his fist on the table.  
'Fine, fine' Eduardo sighed, holding his hand up to Mateo to calm him. 'Full House' he added with a smirk. Carlos chuckled as he took a drag on a cigarette and blew the smoke out of the side of his mouth.  
'Straight flush baby!' he shouted happily as he threw his cards down on the table.  
'Puta Madre!' Eduardo shouted, throwing his cards down on the table while the other three men laughed. Alison felt Eduardo's hand clutch on her thigh, where he had had it rested for the past fifteen minutes. She held in a hiss of pain and took a sip of the beer in her hand in an effort to keep it in. She had been sat here for over an hour now, and not one of the men had really even looked her way since she first came in. If this was all she was getting paid for, then she was thankful that it was an easy job. She didn't mind Eduardo's touches every now and again, as sickening as they were she could handle them because he only seemed to be interested in her legs and ass, not once had he tried to cop a feel anywhere else.

Alison watched as the other men slowly started to pack up and get ready to leave, eventually leaving her alone with Eduardo.  
'So, I guess I'll be going to?' she questioned after a few minutes silence between the two, of which Eduardo pottered around the small back room and sipped his beer.  
'No, stay and have a drink with me' he insisted, walking over to Alison and holding his hand out for her to take. Alison eyed his hand sceptically before relenting and taking it, letting him pull her up and out of the door, into the bar. They headed over to the bar and took a seat on the dirty bar stools, Alison tried to ignore the thoughts of the various different liquids and body fluids that had been spilled on this stool as she sat on it.  
'Alejandro! Get me a special for my girl, Holly here' he called to the barman, who replied with a silent nod. 'You'll like this' Eduardo said, turning in his seat to face Alison.  
'I'm sure I will' Alison replied with her best fake smile, causing Eduardo's smirk to grow. He slid his hand up Alison's bare thigh, teasing the tips of his fingers under the hem of her dress. Alison tensed up at the contact, her jaw clenching as she prepared herself to fight him off. She hadn't signed up for anything more than a simple dinner date, and she wasn't about to let some sleazy, Spanish Al Capone wannabe get his nasty way with her.  
'Here, special for your girl' Alejandro stated with a wink as he placed the martini glass down on the bar. Alison eyed the light brown-orange liquid in the glass sceptically as Eduardo took his hand from her leg and took the glass, sliding it across the bar towards her.  
'Drink up, sweet cheeks' he said with a glint in his eye. Alison gulped and leaned forward, taking the drink from the bar. She eyed it uneasily as she brought the glass to her lips and took a sip. The liquid burned the back of her throat instantly, causing her to splutter as she tried to swallow.  
'What is that?' she coughed, the burn still present in the back of her throat.  
'Trust me, you don't want to know what's in that. Just drink, it will make you feel good' Eduardo stated, his eyes demanding as he watched Alison, pushing her to take another drink. With a deep breath, Alison prepared herself for the burn as she placed her lips against the glass and let the liquid slip down her throat. She pushed past the urge to cough, wanting the drink to be gone so that she could go home.  
'See, that wasn't so bad, mamacita' Eduardo said with a smile, clicking his fingers to Alejandro, who instantly came with a glass of water. Alison took the water gratefully and drained the glass, wanting to ease her throat.  
'Can I go home now?' she asked, her throat sore and hoarse from the drink.  
'Ofcourse!' Eduardo practically shouted, raising his hands in the air. 'I'm not keeping you here, pretty lady. Here, your money for tonight. Thank you for your services, I will be requesting your presence from Jeff again' he added as he handed Alison a large wad of money. Alison's eyes practically bulged out of their sockets at the amount of money he was pushing into her hand. She placed it in her purse and stood without another word. As she stood up, Alison felt lightheaded and the room began to spin. She shook her head, putting the dizziness down to the alcohol she had been drinking, and willed her legs to work. She tried to focus on putting one foot in front of the other, but felt herself begin to lose balance.  
'What the hell' she mumbled to herself as the room span faster and faster, the voices around her mixing together into a jumbled hum. Her ears were buzzing and her face felt suddenly hot as she began to sweat. Her vision blurred and Alison began to panic, until finally everything went black.

Hanna had spent the entire night at Spencer and Aria's house trying to come up with every way possible that she could finally tell Emily the truth. She had considered the delicate approach, the hesitant approach, even the 'ripping off a bandaid' approach, but nothing seemed the right way to tell the brunette. But then again, Hanna thought, was there really a right way to tell someone that news? Finally, with a more than gentle push from Spencer, Hanna had made her way home to talk to Emily, and now here she was sat on the couch, trying to pluck up the courage to tell Emily.  
'-so I was like, how have you never seen Finding Nemo? And then Riley told me that she's never seen any Disney movies, not that Finding Nemo is really considered Disney, but potato-potahto' Emily chatted away rapidly, as she had done for the past twenty minutes, and with every word, Hanna fought to not just blurt out the words that had been sitting on the tip of her tongue for a few weeks now.  
'-so yeah, I told her that we need to have a serious Disney marathon so that I can educate her on movies, because like, who hasn't seen The Lion King?'  
'Em, are you going to like, breathe?' Hanna asked in frustration.  
'Wow, who pissed in your cheerios?' Emily asked in offence. 'Look, if you don't like Riley, then-'  
'Wait, who said I don't like her? I don't even know her' Hanna interrupted, her frustration dying down a little at the change of topic.  
'Well, you came over and the second I started talking about her you sort of, switched off' Emily stated matter-of-factly.  
'I'm sorry, there's just a lot on my mind' Hanna apologised, looking away from Emily in an attempt to keep the truth in just a little longer.  
'What? Are things rough with you and Caleb again?' Emily asked in concern, placing a comforting hand on Hanna's thigh. Hanna contemplated lying and saying that she and Caleb had broken up again, but she knew that she couldn't lie now. She had to tell the truth.  
'Em, I have to tell you something and I'm afraid that once I tell you- I don't know what you'll do' Hanna started with a sigh, looking into Emily's eyes and Emily could see the sadness and hesitation swimming in them.  
'Han. What is it?' Emily asked anxiously, her heart rate beginning to speed up slightly at the seriousness of the conversation.  
'It's-' Hanna's phone rang, cutting her off. She looked down at the screen, wondering whether she could ignore it but as soon as she saw Alison's name flash up she knew she had to answer it. Hanna jumped up from the sofa and ran into the bathroom, locking the door behind her as she answered the phone.

'Ali?' Hanna whispered so that Emily wouldn't hear.  
'Hanna. I need your help' Alison begged and Hanna could tell she had been crying.  
'Where are you?' Hanna asked.  
'I- I don't know. Please, help me' Alison begged again through choked sobs.  
'Hanna, is everything ok?' Emily asked through the door as she tried to open it from the outside.  
'Yeah, everything's fine Em, I'll be out in a second' Hanna shouted back as she tried to think of what to do to find Alison.  
'Hanna, please' Alison begged. 'I don't know where I am'  
'Uh, what do you see?' Hanna tried, remembering she had seen this exact situation on an episode of Criminal Minds or Law and Order plenty of times before, and it always seemed to work.  
'Hanna! Let me in' Emily shouted, banging the door louder this time.  
'Em, I'll be out in a second! I had a really bad curry last night and you don't want to come in here' Hanna replied unashamedly. 'What do you see, Ali?' Hanna asked in a hushed voice.  
'Metal walls…I think I'm in some kind of warehouse' Alison replied a little calmer.  
'Warehouse….' Hanna tried to think. 'Oh! Send me a pin drop of your location' Hanna almost shouted, feeling like a genius at the idea.  
'A pin drop?' Emily questioned from outside, causing Hanna to mentally curse at herself for having a big mouth.  
'No, not a pin drop, Em. I um, I said woah, did you hear that big plop!' Hanna replied, rolling her eyes at herself for getting into this situation, and part of her wasn't even sure why she was lying to Emily anyway when she was literally seconds away from telling her before Alison had called.  
'You're honestly the most disgusting person I've ever met' Emily groaned through the door, before moving away. She wasn't entirely sure why Hanna was acting strange, but she was sure there was something going on that the blonde was keeping from her. A few minutes later, Hanna left the bathroom and headed towards the front door.  
'Em, I gotta go. I'll catch up with you later!' Hanna stated before heading out of the apartment.  
'Hanna, wait! You were going to tell me some-' Emily shouted after her, but was cut off by Hanna slamming the door behind her. '-thing' Emily sighed, wondering what had made Hanna act so crazy all of a sudden, and what the blonde had been about to tell her before she got that phone call.

Hanna raced down the stairs and out of the apartment block, hailing down a taxi. She jumped in the back and all but shouted the address at the driver.  
'There's an extra twenty in it if you all but fly me there' she added, sitting back in the seat. She called text Alison to say she was on her way and prayed to every god she knew that the blonde was ok. She briefly thought to Emily, who she had left in the apartment in a state of confusion, without so much as an explanation. Worrying about leaving Emily alone like that, Hanna called Spencer.  
'Spence, I need you to go to Emily's' Hanna blurted the second the phone was picked up.  
'What? why?' Spencer asked.  
'Ali's in some kind of trouble. I don't have time to go into it now, but you have to go and check on Em' Hanna explained quickly.  
'Ok, I'll head over now' Spencer replied. 'Hanna, be careful please' she added. Spencer was very aware that they still didn't know the full extent to how Alison had been living her life, and without any knowledge of who, or what, Alison could be involved in, Spencer was very aware that Hanna could be walking into immediate danger.  
'I will' Hanna promised, before hanging up the phone.

Emily paced up and down her small apartment as she tried to call Hanna for the hundredth time.  
'Han, please just pick up your damn phone' Emily groaned as she reached voicemail again. Emily couldn't understand how they had gone from having a serious conversation, to Hanna running out of the apartment like she was Usain Bolt.  
'Em?' Spencer's voice came from the front door as the taller brunette let herself in.  
'Spencer? What are you doing here?' Emily asked, whipping around to face the other woman, who was now walking into the apartment.  
'Hanna called and asked me to come over' Spencer said honestly, deciding that at this point, there was really no use in lying to Emily.  
'Why? What is going on, Spencer?' Emily asked, her voice frantic as she tried to figure out what was going on.  
'Em, just sit down' Spencer sighed, as she made her way to the sofa and signalled for Emily to do the same. Emily froze in place for a second before doing as Spencer told her to.  
'Spence' Emily breathed, and that one word spoke a million. Emily was tired of being left out of the loop, of being left at home alone while the others were off doing god knows what. She needed answers and Spencer would have to be the one to give them to her.  
'Em, I have something that I need to tell you and, I don't exactly know how you're going to take it but you need to know' Spencer started and the words rung through Emily's head, because they had been basically the exact words that Hanna had used only a half hour before.  
'Spencer, what the fuck is going on?' Emily asked, her voice shaking as she began to panic. Spencer took a deep breath before she let herself utter the words that Hanna had so clearly failed to say to Emily.  
'Emily' Spencer started, taking Emily's hands in her own as she looked her in the eye. 'Alison is alive'


	6. I Want You To Know

The sun filtered in through the partially open blinds and the white bed sheets slipped against Emily's skin like they were made of satin as she adjusted her position, settling herself over Alison's body. Their lips met in a heated, lustful kiss, their hands grabbing at skin as they pulled each other closer. They had both wanted this for so long. To be reunited and in each other's arms again after so long apart.  
'Please don't ever leave me again' Emily begged, her heart still hurting because she had been left wandering in the dark for so long. Alison smiled, her hand reaching up to brush a strand of dark hair out of Emily's face and tucking it behind her ear, before settling to cup the back of her head.  
'I promise you, Em. There is nothing in this world that could make me leave you again' Alison whispered, before pulling Emily back down into the most loving, tender kiss Emily had ever experienced.

'Emily. Did you hear what I said?' Spencer asked, pulling Emily from her fantasy. It was a fantasy she had had for years, ever since Alison had first disappeared. She had spent nights dreaming about Alison being back. Back in her arms and fitting back into the empty hole that she had left in Emily's heart. She had pretty much given up hope of ever seeing Alison again, after all, they had buried her 8 years ago. Now, Spencer was here telling her that Alison was alive, and that wasn't something that Emily could comprehend at this point.  
'You're wrong' Emily whispered, her throat suddenly void of all moisture.  
'Emily, I know this is-'  
'You're wrong, Spencer' Emily said a little louder, jumping up from the sofa as she tried to sort through the thousands of thoughts that were going through her mind. 'What is this, some kind of sick joke? Because I'm finally moving on with my life, you feel the need to knock me back down again?' she asked, turning to Spencer with wild, frantic eyes.  
'No, Emily I promise you that's not what I'm doing!' Spencer defended herself from her place on the couch. 'I would never lie to you, you have to believe me. Alison is alive, I've seen her. I've spoken to her, and right now Hanna is going to get her' Spencer stated, the words falling from her mouth as she tried desperately to find a way to calm Emily down, because right now she was acting crazy and if Spencer was honest, she was more than a little scared of the shorter brunette. Emily paused at these words, taking them all in and trying to process them.  
'It's not possible' Emily muttered as she raked her fingers through her hair. 'Ali died. We were at her fucking funeral!' Emily shouted. She could feel her emotions rising. The anger, the pain, the sadness, everything she had pushed back for so long, all bubbling to the surface and she didn't know how to control it.

Hanna tapped her phone against the palm of her hand, growing impatient in the back of the taxi that was taking her to god knows where. Finally, they pulled up at an industrial type place with several large buildings that Hanna guessed were old, abandoned factory units.  
'Can you wait here for me please? I'll pay you double' Hanna asked the driver, wanting a get away car if they needed to make a hasty escape. The driver nodded with a deep grunt, before Hanna opened the door and slipped out of the car. She looked around for something that looked like what Ali had described, but she knew that she could be here all day trying to find the blonde. Hanna hit Ali's number in her phone and called her.  
'Hanna?' Alison breathed into the phone.  
'Ali, I'm outside but I don't know which building you're in. Is it safe for you to come outside?' she asked, hoping she wasn't putting Alison in more danger by even calling her.  
'Yeah, I think I can get outside' Alison replied hesitantly, and Hanna could tell that she was scared.  
'I'll stay on the phone with you' Hanna promised, wanting to give Alison some form of security until they were safe in the taxi and getting the hell out of there.

Hanna looked around for any sign of Alison, and it didn't take long to spot her walking anxiously out of a door a few buildings along.  
'Ok, I see you' Hanna said into her phone as she began to walk towards Alison, who seemed to be looking around her. Both woman sped their steps up and were quickly untied, with Hanna wrapping her arms around a disheveled Alison. Hanna wanted to ask her what happened, but knew there would be a time and a place for that, but this was not it.  
'It's ok, I've got you' Hanna hushed into Alison's hair.  
'Lets get you home' she stated as she parted herself from Alison, who was clinging to let the other woman to the taxi and told him her address, before sitting back in the seat. She looked over to Alison, who was silently staring out of the window. She took in the blonde's messed hair and tear stained cheeks, her short, ripped dress and smudged make up and she couldn't stop the question from leaving her lips.  
'Ali, you wasn't um,' she started, not wanting to say the word. 'Nobody touched you, did they?' she changed her wording, needing to know that her worst thoughts were just that, thoughts.  
'No' Alison replied after a long silence. She looked down at her hands, picking at her cuticles as she spoke. 'At least I don't think so' she added, because she honestly wasn't to sure what had happened. All she knew was that she had woken up in a strange house, with the same strange, creepy man from the bar and she fought like hell to get out of there. She had ended up hiding in the warehouse, not knowing if he had followed her or where she was. She had considered calling Riley, but she didn't want to see her roommate. Alison couldn't look her in the eye, knowing she was the reason that she was in this mess. Instead she called the only other person she knew that wouldn't judge her and would come without a tonne of questions.  
'Ok' Hanna breathed, not sure if she was relieved or not, because Alison hadn't exactly confirmed or denied that she had been raped. Hanna reached across the seat and took Alison's hand into her own, grasping it firmly.

Emily paced up and down her small apartment, her mind going crazy with the information that Spencer was telling her. She wasn't sure if she was happy that Alison was back, sad that they had missed out on so much time or angry with her for letting them believe she was dead. Quite frankly, Emily was a mess and all she wanted to do was run to the nearest liquor store and buy a whole heap of cheap vodka. She wanted to push away the painful thoughts that were dominating her.  
'Are you ok?' Spencer asked, her voice full of concern because she knew exactly what Emily was thinking.  
'Am I ok?' Emily repeated, letting out a sarcastic laugh. 'Do I fucking look ok to you? How the fuck would I be ok, Spencer? My ex girlfriend has just come back from the fucking dead after 9 years of being gone and my life is a fucking mess! 9 fucking years and she didn't even have the decency to get in touch once!' Emily screamed hysterically, and Spencer fought against every instinct in her to not scream back, because the lawyer in her was telling her that she should argue against the opposition. But Emily wasn't an opponent in a law suit, and this wasn't a court, and Spencer knew that Emily was hurting right now.  
'She didn't just leave on a whim, Em. She didn't even mean to fake her death. It just happened' Spencer replied, her tone still soft and warm.  
'How can someone be certifiably dead for 8 years and not mean for that to happen?' Emily scoffed, stopping in front of Spencer with her arms crossed over her chest.  
'I don't think that I should be the one to go into that with you' Spencer replied regretfully, because she knew that Emily deserved answers and she wanted to tell her, but she knew that it wasn't her place to tell someone else's story.  
'Who else am I supposed to ask?' Emily spat, and Spencer was more than a little taken aback at the venomous look in the usually placid woman's face.  
'I think the only person who would be able to answer your questions is Ali' Spencer stated in a small voice. A low growl rippled through Emily as she picked up the mug that was sitting on the table and launched it at the wall. Spencer jumped at the sudden aggressive move, but instantly kicked into protective mode when a harsh sob escaped Emily's mouth.

Hanna led Alison through the apartment complex, pausing when they reached Emily's door. She wondered how the other girl was, knowing that Spencer must have told her by now. A sudden crash answered her question and Alison jumped at the loud noise.  
'So, she knows' Alison sighed, hating herself for what she must be putting Emily through right now.  
'Yeah' Hanna breathed, wrapping an arm around Alison. 'I don't think now is a good time for you to see her though. Maybe once she's calmed down a little' Hanna stated, before pulling Alison up the final flight of stairs and into her apartment. Hanna led Alison to the bathroom and turned the taps on to run a bath, while Alison stood motionless in the doorway.  
'You need to clean yourself up. It'll make you feel better' Hanna said, turning to see that Alison was still frozen in place. The blonde woman looked so broken, Hanna wanted to hold her and take the pain away, the way she had done so many times before with Emily over the years. It was no wonder to Hanna why they had fallen so hard for each other. Both women, though so different on the outside, we're so perfectly matched on the inside. Both women let their hearts rule their emotions, and those emotions were so intense they had the capability to make or break either woman. Right now, Alison's emotions were backing her into a corner as she processed the events that had happened the night before, the fact that she had been stupid enough to let herself be put into that situation in the first place. She was angry at Riley, and herself for letting Riley make her feel the need to protect her, when she had lost everything to protect herself. She was angry that she had hurt Emily, sad that Emily was clearly in a great deal of pain right now. She was fighting against everything in her to stop herself from going down to that apartment and just holding Emily, taking away her pain like she had done all those years ago. But also, she needed Emily to take away her own pain. To hold her and tell her that everything was going to be ok. Alison had so much confliction coursing through her, she was forgetting how to function, and had she been even remotely aware of what was going on outside of her head, she would have been embarrassed that Hanna was now undressing her. But, Alison wasn't aware of anything other than the fact that she had successfully fucked up at least two people's lives today. Hell, she had fucked Emily's life up twice .

Hanna pulled Alison's dress over her head, leaving the woman in her underwear. Hanna's eyes were instantly drawn to the faded scars on the woman's thighs and body. The clear signs of the abuse that the blonde had encountered over the years. Hanna gulped and pulled her gaze away, unhooking Alison's bra before slowly pulling it away from her body, looking her in the eye for any sign of protest, only to be met back with a blank, empty stare. Wanting to leave her with at least an ounce of decency, Hanna left Alison's panties on. She knew the other blonde wouldn't appreciate knowing that Hanna had seen her most private parts. Hanna took Alison by the arm and led her to the tub, gently helping the other woman lower into the warmth of the water. She soaped up her loofah and gently scrubbed it over Alison's shoulders and back, purposely missing out her chest and breasts. As Hanna continued to wash her friend, she wondered how she had come to be the saviour of two unbelievably broken women, and she hoped that one day things could go back to some kind of normality. For now though, she did what she had been doing for Emily over the last 9 years. She held the pieces together and took care of the woman who had come to her in need.

Hanna washed Alison's hair, scrubbing at the dirt and dust that had settled in the woman's scalp. She felt Alison flinch at a particularly tender spot.  
'What happened to your head?' Hanna asked, breaking the silence as she inspected the spot to find nothing there. Alison didn't reply, and so Hanna continued to wash her hair, taking care over the sensitive spot that sat to the base of Alison's skull.  
'It's from where my dad...you know' Alison answered unexpectedly. Hanna gulped down a lump that formed in her throat at the mental image as that filled her mind, of Alison screaming for help while her Dad viciously beat her.  
'I'm sorry, Ali' Hanna whispered as she grabbed the shower head and rinsed the suds out of Alison's hair. Once her hair was clean and shampoo free, Hanna turned off the water and placed the shower head back on the hook.  
'I'm going to go grab you some towels and a change of clothes' she informed Alison, before heading out and leaving there other woman alone with her thoughts.  
When she was in the safety of her bedroom, Hanna let the few tears fall freely. She hated that her friend had been going through such an awful time and none of them had noticed. Seeing the scars on Alison's body were an indication of what she had been through, and Hanna honestly didn't know how the other woman had gotten herself through it, because she was pretty sure that she would have given up fighting and just let the man kill her if she'd been in that position. Hanna quickly squared herself up and wiped her eyes, before grabbing a pair of sweat pants and a loose fitting grey t-shirt. She grabbed a towel from the hot-press and headed back to the bathroom.

'Here, there's some sweatpants and a t-shirt there for you' Hanna offered, placing the clothes and towel on the closed toilet seat.  
'You have clothes that will fit me?' Alison asked, and Hanna thought it strange that that was what Alison was worried about. That it was one of the only things she had said since they had left the warehouse.  
'No, um, they're Emily's' Hanna replied cautiously, unsure of what Alison's reaction would be to the mention of the brunette's name. Alison didn't say anything, but Hanna didn't miss the way her lips slightly curled into the tiniest of smiles, and she wondered if the prospect of wearing Emily's clothes was comforting to Alison.  
'I'll be outside if you need me' Hanna said softly, before backing back out of the bathroom and into the living room.

Emily's apartment had finally calmed down. The brunette had cried for an unbelievably long time, and Spencer wondered how Hanna had handled looking after Emily for so long, especially in the early days when Emily seemed to do nothing but cry. Months went by where Emily walked around with the ever present redness to her eyes, and Hanna's staple fashion accessory was the darkest pair of sunglasses she could find, because even the best concealer wasn't enough to hide the sleep deprived black rings that sat beneath her eyes. Hanna had basically been looking after Emily for years, and Spencer was barely getting through a couple of hours.  
'Here, I made you some tea' Spencer offered, placing the cup down on the coffee table in front of Emily.  
'Thank you' she replied, flashing Spencer the tiniest of smiles. Spencer sat on the couch beside Emily, unsure of what to say, or whether to even say anything at all.  
'I'm sorry about before' Emily sighed sadly.  
'It's ok. You were upset and you have every right to be' Spencer replied, her hands cupping her own mug of tea. 'I know this is all really hard for you, but know that we're all here for you and whatever way you want to play this out, we all support you' Spencer added, trying her hardest to choose her words right.

'What do you mean?' Emily asked, looking to Spencer in confusion.  
'I mean that if you decide that seeing Ali is too much, then nobody is going to force you to do it' Spencer stated.  
'What? Why wouldn't I see her?' Emily asked with a slight angry tone to her voice. 'You don't think I should?'  
'No, I'm not saying that' Spencer protested. 'I'm just saying that I know this is really hard for you and you were just getting your life back on track, so if this is something you don't want to deal with then that's ok' she explained, but her words just seemed to anger Emily even more.  
'So you want me to just forget about the fact that Alison is alive and just carry on like nothing has happened' Emily snapped. 'I can't do that Spencer. I won't do that. Yeah, I'm angry as hell that she put us through this, but I need answers and like you said, the only person who can give them to me is Ali' Emily added. She paused for a second before jumping up from the couch and heading towards the door.  
'Where are you going?' Spencer called after her, jumping up from the couch.  
'To get answers' Emily shouted back as she flew out the door and pounded up the stairs. Spencer groaned, knowing that this was going to end badly because she knew that Emily wasn't in the right frame of mind to be confronting Alison right now. She pulled the apartment door shut behind her and followed Emily up the stairs.

Hanna sat alone on the couch, still waiting for Alison to come out of the bathroom. She had been in there for a while and Hanna had considered checking to make sure she hadn't washed herself down the plug hole, but she figured that the other woman just needed some time to herself. Instead, realising that she was hungry, Hanna had buried herself ordering a feast of pizza and she was now waiting impatiently for it to be delivered. She almost jumped out of her skin when the front door suddenly burst open.  
'Em? What are you doing here?' she asked, her eyes going wide because Alison was only in the next room and she wasn't sure where Emily's head was at right now.  
'Where is she?' Emily demanded as she made her way into the apartment, with Spencer hot on her trail.  
'She's not here' Hanna lied, instantly cursing herself because she wasn't even sure why she was lying, the words just came out of her mouth before she could stop them.  
'Don't lie to me, Hanna. I know she's here' Emily countered, rolling her eyes at Hanna's pathetic attempt to lie to her.  
'Em, maybe now's not the right time' Spencer said, placing a hand on Emily's shoulder.  
'Maybe now's not the right time for you to be dictating my life, Spencer' Emily growled, pulling herself away from Spencer's grip. Hanna's eyes grew wide because she had never seen Emily this unhinged before, and knowing how broken Alison was, she knew that neither of the two women were in the right frame of mind for an impromptu reunion.  
'Em, Spencer's right. I think you need to leave' Hanna stated firmly, preparing herself for the backlash of Emily's fury.  
'Are you fucking kidding me!?' Emily shouted, her eyes flashing dangerously. 'Why the fuck is everyone treating me like I'm a fucking crazy person?' Emily screamed, her cheeks growing red with rage.

'Emily!' A voice shouted from across the room, and Emily's rage instantly disintegrated at the authoritative voice. Her heart began to pound in her chest as she turned and saw the face of the woman that had haunted her for years.  
Emily turned to face Alison and could see that her eyes were filled with concern. Alison knew that Emily had taken it hard, and she knew that the teenage girl she had left all those years ago, had suffered with her own demons, but this angry woman standing in front of her was nothing like the Emily she had left behind in Rosewood.  
'Alison' Emily breathed. Her heart was in her throat and she felt like her stomach was about to fall out of her ass. She hadn't expected the sight of Alison to stop her completely in her tracks. All of the anger she had felt was suddenly forgotten, as she took in the sight of a grown, adult Alison. She had been beautiful as a teenager, but fifteen year old Alison didn't even compare to twenty four year old Alison. The two women stood in silence, their eyes locked on each other's from across the room. Neither knew what to day to each other, and they momentarily forgot that they weren't alone in the room. Hanna and Spencer watched on anxiously, waiting for one of the women to make a move, neither really sure if Emily's anger was going to come back out in full force, but this time directed at Alison. They were both ready to pull Emily back when she took a step forward, but we're taken by surprise when she wrapped her arms around Alison's body and pulled the blonde in to a tight hug.

'You're really here' Emily whispered, as though she hadn't believed it until she had actually felt Alison in her arms. Emily pulled back and looked her up and down, taking in every beautiful inch of the woman in front of her.  
'I'm here' Alison breathed, as she too tried her best to comprehend being in such close proximity to Emily for the first time. She had seen Emily a few times from a distance over the years, and she knew that the woman had grown to become positively stunning, but being seeing her up closer for the first time, Alison realised that there were no words, at least not that she could think of in this matter of time, that could describe just how perfectly gorgeous Emily was.

The two women parted silently, their eyes still searching the other as though looking for something, though neither really knew what it was they were searching for.  
'Um, do you want us to leave you two alone?' Spencer asked, clearing the tension that had settled over the two women. Alison and Emily looked to the other temporarily forgotten women, before looking back to each other for some sort of confirmation.  
'Are you kidding, Spencer?' Hanna complained. ' I was just about to put on some popcorn, because this is the best Rom com moment I've seen in years' she added with a pout, causing Spencer to glare at her, but Emily and Alison let out a soft chuckle at Hanna's inappropriate, yet well timed, comment.  
'Um, I don't know. Maybe we could go to my apartment. Talk about things in private?' Emily offered anxiously, because she wasn't really sure what she wanted, or what Alison wanted. This was all strange territory, and Emily knew she still had a lot of pent up emotions that were waiting to come rushing out and she wasn't exactly sure how, or when, that would happen.  
'I think that sounds like a great idea' Alison replied with a small smile, and Hanna could see the life coming back into her by the second. Just fifteen minutes ago, Alison had been sitting in the tub like a zombie, but ten minutes in Emily's presence and she was like a whole other woman.

'Em, could I talk to you for a second before you go?' Hanna asked, hinting that she wanted to talk in private. Emily nodded and followed Hanna to the bedroom, where the blonde closed the door before leaning against the pane.  
'Be careful. Please?' she practically begged. 'Please don't rush into anything with Ali. You're both so hurt and vulnerable right now, I just don't want anything to happen' Hanna explained, wanting to choose her words wisely so as not to piss off her friend.  
'You mean, don't taker her to my apartment and jump into bed with her' Emily corrected, knowing exactly what Hanna was trying to get at. 'I won't. I just want to talk to her. Without an audience' she added with a small smile.  
'Ok' Hanna replied, seemingly satisfied with Emily's reply.  
'Why are you so worried about her?' Emily added, realising that Hanna was treating Alison with the same kid gloves that she usually used for her.  
'I just know that she's going through some stuff right now' Hanna half explained and judging by her tone, Emily knew that she wasn't about to go into detail. Emily nodded, stuffing her hands into her back jeans pockets as she let out a deep breath.

'You Ok?' Hanna asked, looking on at Emily curiously as though trying to read her mind.  
'Yeah' Emily nodded softly, her eyes focused on the ground. 'It's just hard to get my head around, you know? She's really back' Emily explained, peering up at Hanna through her fallen hair. Hanna nodded and made her way over to Emily.  
'I know, it's crazy' Hanna agreed, stopping in front of Emily. She placed her hand on Emily's forearm and gently rubbed. 'You doing Ok?' she asked, needing to know that Emily wasn't going to hit the first bar once this was done.  
'I honestly don't know yet. I guess we'll find out' Emily stated, flashing Hanna a small smile, before pulling away. 'We should get back out there' she sighed as she made her way to the door. They came to the living room to find Spencer and Alison staring at each other across the room, like a dog and a cat on opposite sides of the street. Alison was the curious dog that wanted to chase the cat, and Spencer was the cat that was challenging the dog to dare to take a step towards her.  
'Alison' Emily broke the tension. 'Let's go' she gestured, leading the way towards Hanna's front door. Once she was satisfied that Alison was following her, Emily led the way to her apartment, neither girl saying a word to each other.

They reached Emily's apartment and she opened the door, letting Alison enter first. Alison looked around the tiny studio, taking in all of the accents and features that made it so glaringly obvious that Emily Fields lived here. The motivational poster that hung on the wall, the pastel coloured rugs, cushions and bedspread. The way the kitchen utensils all had a place to hang, that was the funniest part because she remembered how back in high school, Pam was constantly lecturing Emily for not putting the cooking utensils back in their correct place and generally messing up her kitchen. Alison guessed that years of an overbearing Mother would have an effect, because Emily's kitchen was spotless, apart for the smashed mug that lay shattered on the kitchen floor.  
'Can I get you something to drink?' Emily asked, suddenly feeling awkward. She didn't know how to act around Alison anymore, so she resorted to the standard protocol for having a guest in your house, she offered beverages.  
'No, I'm ok. Thank you' Alison replied with a small smile, and Emily could see that she too was feeling awkward. Alison was stood in the centre of the living room area of her apartment, her hands clutched together while she looked around the small apartment.  
'You have a nice place' she said softly.  
'Uh, thanks. It's nothing fancy but it's home' Emily replied as she busied herself making coffee for herself. She didn't particularly want coffee, but she needed something to keep her hands busy. Something to distract her from the fact that Alison DiLaurentis was alive and well, and standing in her living room.  
'It's cute. I like it' Alison countered. The room fell to silence again, the only sound coming from the bubbling and whirring of Emily's coffee maker. There was no escaping the awkwardness, and Emily thought back to all those years ago when they were in high school and in love, and she had thought that there would never be a second that she would not know what to say to Alison, yet here they were, perfect strangers, with the most colourful of histories.  
'So' Emily breathed, reaching for some form of a sentence because this silence was deafening and painful, and she needed to break the tension.  
'So' Alison repeated as their eye locked across the room, that familiar brown meeting turquoise blue.

Emily sighed as she poured her coffee into a mug and subconsciously made a second cup for Alison. Alison watched as the other woman made her coffee without thinking about it, putting just the right amount of milk and two sugars, as though the action were ingrained into her muscle memory.  
'Thanks' she hushed as she took the cup from Emily, not wanting to mention that she hadn't wanted a coffee. She watched as Emily took a seat on the couch, still frozen in her place in the centre of the room.  
'You can sit, if you want' Emily said, motioning to the large three-seater leather couch that she was seated on. Alison obliged and perched herself at the opposite end to Emily, placing her cup on the coffee table.  
'I know that you probably have a lot of questions' Alison started to talk, finding a boost of confidence from seemingly nowhere. 'It's ok to ask them. You have every right to ask' she added as she looked over to Emily, her hands tucked between her knees. Emily's legs were kicked up beneath her and she was turned sideways on the couch, facing Alison, her elbow rested on the back of the sofa and her hand supporting her head. Alison couldn't help but think how incredibly beautiful she looked like this, relaxed and in her own environment. She looked more like the Emily Fields she had fallen in love with all those years ago, just a little more worn around the edges, but she knew she had herself to blame for that.  
'I have so many questions, I don't even know where to start' Emily sighed as she sucked her bottom lip between her teeth.  
'Just start where you think is right' Alison pushed. She wanted to give Emily that answers she needed, the brunette deserved that at the very least.  
'Well, where have you been all this time? I mean, nine years is a hell of a long time Ali' Emily stated, and Alison didn't miss the bite of anger in her tone. She knew that Emily was angry and she knew the brunette was holding it back, it just stung a little to actually be on the receiving end.  
'I've pretty much been here, in New York. I moved around a lot at first. I stayed around Phili for the first few months, but I didn't feel safe so I moved further and further out. Eventually I ended up in New York. I stayed on the streets for a couple of weeks but I got on my feet in the end. Got a job, an apartment. Nothing much has changed since' Alison explained, and Emily could hear in her voice how tired the blonde was, how draining it had been for her.  
'You were in Phili and you never once reached out. Why?' Emily asked, suddenly feeling a sting from the fact that Alison had been hiding out so close to home, yet never once messaged or text to let them know that she was ok, or to ask for help.  
'I was scared, Em. We were just kids, and I didn't know what to do. All I knew was that I needed to get out of there and as far away as I could' Alison began to explain, but she wasn't sure exactly what Emily knew and judging by the confusion on her face, Spencer had hardly told her anything at all. 'Do you even know why I left?' She asked suddenly.  
'No' Emily replied, her voice strangely soft. 'At first, I guess I thought that you left because of me, but it didn't make sense. We were perfect together and things were going so great with us' she added, and Alison felt instantly guilty for ever letting Emily believe that she could possibly be the reason she would leave.  
'No, Em' Alison hushed. She moved closer and subconsciously placed her hand on Emily's thing. They both froze for a second at the sudden touch, and Emily felt as though her thigh was burning under Alison's hand. Alison pulled her hand back and placed it in her own lap.  
'You were the reason that I stayed for so long. You have no idea how hard it was to not come back for you' Alison said sadly.  
'Then why didn't you come back? If it was so hard to leave me, then why didn't you come back for me?' Emily asked, her tone filled with years of built up frustration and sadness and confusion, because she never could understand why Alison would just leave. If anything, the thought that someone had murdered her made it harder to accept that she was gone, because that way Emily could rest with the comfort that Alison hadn't left her. But now, here in the light of day where Alison was alive and well, that betrayal and neglect that she felt for a year, was coming back to with a vengeance.  
'For me to answer that, I have to explain why I left' Alison replied with a sad smile. She could see Emily's mind whirling with questions, and she wasn't entirely sure if she could answer them all, but she knew she would do whatever it took to take away at least some of Emily's frustration and anger.

'What do you think they're doing down there?' Hanna asked as she took a bite out of her slice of pizza.  
'I don't know. Talking?' Spencer replied, watching in amazement as Hanna battled her way through a ridiculous sized pizza. 'I honestly can't believe you're half way through that, and you're still eating. I don't think I'd even manage two slices' she said in disbelief.  
'Hey, I'm anxious ok? Food comforts me' Hanna defended herself through a mouthful of pizza.  
'Ali and Emily with be fine. It's probably a good thing that they're talking alone' Spencer stated, slightly dubiously.  
'Yeah, until Em goes all She-Hulk on Ali's ass and we're left to scrape her off the sidewalk, because Emily threw her out of a window' Hanna replied with a pout.  
'What? That is not going to happen' Spencer laughed. 'Seriously, what even goes on in your mind?' She asked.  
'You don't want to know' Hanna mused as she continued to eat her way through her pizza. 'You think Ali and Emily with get back together again?' She wondered out loud.  
'I don't know, Han. Em's really angry with Ali, I think we'll be lucky if they even manage to be friends again' Spencer replied doubtfully.  
'I don't know, Em went right in there for that hug, and here I thought she was going to strangle her' Hanna said in amusement.  
'Well, whatever happens, it can't make things any worse, right?' Spencer sighed as she resigned and pulled up a very large slice of pizza, causing Hanna to glare at her as she took a bite out of it.  
'Pizza thief' Hanna muttered.

Emily sat in horror while Alison described every detail of the ordeal she had been put through by her Dad, and she was starting to get a little more understanding of why Alison left so suddenly.  
'So, this was all my fault' Emily whispered into the now silent room, guilt weighing her down at the information that Alison's dad literally beat the life out of her because of their kiss.  
'No. It wasn't your fault and I don't want you to think that for even a second' Alison protested, because there was no way in hell she was letting Emily blame herself for the vile actions of her so-called Father.  
'But I was the one who kissed you that night' Emily stated, her guilt building by the second. 'If I hadn't kissed you-'  
'Then he would have found another excuse' Alison interrupted. 'Look, my Dad was a drunk and he had a temper. My Mom and Jason both left because of that temper and eventually, I was the only person left for him to take that out on. Nobody is to blame for what happened that night, other than him' Alison said softly.  
'Why didn't you just tell me what was going on? I could have helped you' Emily asked in desperation. She needed to know whether she could have done more, because she hated that she had failed to see that the girl she was in love with, was clearly going through hell. Looking back now, there were clear signs of what Alison was going through. Emily had spotted the unexplained marks on her friend time and time again, but had taken the lame excuses that Alison had given her. The nights where Alison was too scared to go home and instead, lay curled up in Emily's bed with her, at the time Emily was blinded by love and took it as a sign that Alison didn't want to leave her. She had been naïve and foolish, and she had missed sign after sign. Ultimately, Emily felt that she could have, and should have, done more to protect Alison.  
'I don't know. I was scared of what my Dad would do if he found out I'd told someone. I was scared of being taken away and put into foster care. I guess most of all, I was too proud to tell anyone. I was the girl that looked like they had everything, the perfect house, perfect family, perfect hair. People respected me, and I guess that I was afraid of people looking at me like I was damaged' Alison sighed. 'Most of all, I was afraid of how it would affect our relationship. You looked at me like...god, like I wore a halo or something. You made me feel like I was stood on the highest of pedestals, and I knew that I couldn't bare it if that changed even the tiniest bit. If I'd have told you, you'd have looked at me with pity and sympathy, and you would have treated me like I was broken.' Alison explained sadly, and Emily felt like her heart was being ripped out of her chest at those words, because every single word that Alison was saying was true. Emily had always treated Alison like she was the most important, amazing person in the world, and though that would never have changed, she definitely would have started treading on egg shells around her and she would have felt more sorrow than anyone in the world, that the person she loved was being treated so badly. She would have looked at her with sympathy and pity, like Alison said. Hell, she was sure that she was looking at her like that right now.

'I'm sorry, Ali' Emily whispered.  
'No, don't be sorry. You don't ever have to be sorry. If anything, I'm the one who should be apologising and I have a hell of a lot to make up for' Alison said firmly, and she felt more confident than she had in a long time, because Emily was here beside her and they were talking, and Emily was forgiving her, or at least Alison hoped.  
'Do you think we could try to start fresh?' Alison asked, causing Emily's eyes to widen. 'As friends, I mean' she quickly added, realising what her words had implied.  
'I guess so. I just, I think I might need some time' Emily said honestly. 'Nine years is a long ass time, Ali and so much has happened over that time. I don't know if I can forgive you right away. I know that you didn't mean for us to think you were dead, and I know how hard it would have been for you to come back after that, but it doesn't change the fact that I spent 9 years thinking you were gone. You don't understand what those years were like' Emily said, her voice shaking a little as she remembered the years of pain she felt at the sudden and unexplained loss of Alison. The many, many alcoholic drinks she tipped down her throat, the times she had ended up in the hospital and her Mom had made her promise that that would be the very last time she was stupid enough to try to kill herself. The time her Mom had thought she was suicidal and wanted her to see a psychiatrist.  
'I know, I don't know anything about what you've been through. So, why don't you tell me?' Alison asked. Emily was right, a lot had happened over the years and they were practically strangers now. Alison didn't know what Emily had been through, or how it had changed her over the years, but she figured that now they were talking, it was the perfect time for them to make a start at getting to know each other. The two women caught eye contact again, and Alison could see the vulnerability there, but there was also a flicker of hope that was trying with all it's might to push to the surface. Alison felt her heart begin to race as the feelings she had spent so long ignoring, came rushing back. She knew that Emily wasn't even sure if she wanted to be friends yet, let alone for anything else to happen with them, but she couldn't stop herself. She was leaning forward before she even knew what she was doing, and it seemed that Emily was leaning in too. Their lips were barely an inch apart before Emily's hand came up to grip Alison's shoulder, stopping her from moving in any closer.  
'Ali' she let out a strangled breath, as though it was torturing her.  
'I know. I'm sorry' Alison whispered without moving back. Their eyes were still locked in on each other's, and as much as both women wanted to be able to just forget the past and give into their lust, they knew that they couldn't. It wasn't right.

As they stared deep into each other's eyes, searching for answers to all the unasked question, searching for familiarity and looking for the things that had changed, Emily remembered that despite everything, this was the woman that once upon a time, she had loved unconditionally. Beneath the pain and the tears, and 9 long years of absence, this was still just Alison. She let out a shaky breath as she felt herself moving in again, despite the screaming in her head that was telling her not to because she knew that indulgence wouldn't fix things. Alison's tongue darted out to moisten her lips, but as they got impeccably close, they were pulled apart by a gentle tap at the door. Emily and Alison sprung apart, landing back on the opposite sides of the sofa. Emily wondered if she could ignore it, but then figured it was probably Hanna coming to check that they weren't doing anything they shouldn't be. Knowing that the blonde wouldn't go away until she opened the door, or would just let herself in anyway, Emily hauled herself up from the sofa and made her way over to the door. Her eyes widened at the sight of the girl standing on the other side.  
'Riley? What are you doing here?' She asked, her voice high pitched as though she were guilty for something.  
'We had plans, remember?' Riley asked, letting out a little giggle at how forgetful Emily could be. Emily froze in place while Riley scooted around her and made her way into the apartment, only to freeze herself because she was now face to face with stormy blue eyes, and the last person she expected to see in Emily's apartment.  
'Holly?' Riley asked, feeling puzzled.  
'Riley' Alison said simply, her arms folding over her chest, because she was still infuriated with the brunette for being the reason that Alison had ended up in such a mess last night.  
'Holly!? Wait, do you two know each other?' Emily asked, her eyes narrowed and her brow knitted tightly in confusion.  
'You could say that' Riley replied. 'Emily, meet my roommate'


	7. Breathe Me

An eerie silence sat over the room as the three women stood in Emily's apartment, all looking to each other. Alison glared at Riley, while Riley cocked her eyebrow challengingly. Emily looked between the two women standing in front of her, her mind racing as she tried to process what was happening, but it was all too much. She had too many questions, some of which she knew she probably hadn't even thought of yet. Alison was back, and now Riley was here, and it seemed like they knew each other, and who the hell was Holly!?  
'Wait' Emily breathed, her head beginning to spin.  
'Em, let me explain everything' Alison said softly, her hand reaching out for Emily's forearm. Riley shot Alison daggers, while Alison kept one eye trained on the other brunette.  
'I don't understand' Emily whispered. 'How do you two just happen to know each other!?' she asked, her voice broken and weak. Emily was feeling confused and betrayed enough, and this was just adding insult to injury, because now she felt as though Riley had been lying to her too. Did Alison plan this or was it just a coincidence?

'Emily, listen to me' Alison said firmly as she gently took Emily's chin between her finger and thumb and turned the brunette's head to look in her direction, until they were eye to eye. 'Sit down and let me explain everything. We've still got a lot to talk about' she said, her voice comforting and warm, and Emily wanted to believe those eyes that were screaming at her that Alison could be trustworthy, but this was all too overwhelming. Emily felt as though she couldn't breathe, she felt suffocated by the tension that hung in the air and she needed to get out.  
'I need some air' Emily croaked, her voice breaking under Alison's gaze. Emily pulled away and flitted out of the room, both Alison and Riley calling after the brunette as she ran from her apartment and down the stairs.  
'Fuck!' Alison growled, while Riley turned to follow Emily. Alison grabbed her firmly by the arm and pulled her back.  
'Oh no, you're staying with me and you're going to tell me exactly what's going on' Alison demanded, her eyes flashing dangerously. For the first time in five years, Alison was beginning to see Riley for her true colours and she had a nasty feeling that she had been sleeping with a snake. She was starting to see the truth behind those gorgeous caramel coloured eyes, and she wasn't liking it at all.

Emily ran down the stairs and out the front door of the apartment complex, grabbing at the building wall as she gasped, trying desperately to catch her breath while the cold air hit her lungs. Her head was still spinning and she didn't know who to trust or what to think. Alison was back from the dead and she knew Riley, that much she was sure. She just wasn't entirely sure how they knew each other, or who the hell Holly was. She didn't know if Alison was behind the coincidence, or who else knew. Did Hanna know? Hell, Hanna seemed to know about a lot that she wasn't telling her. Emily felt as though she was freefalling, and suddenly she had nobody there to catch her. Every single person she knew had lied to her and Emily had never felt so betrayed and lost. She grabbed her packet of cigarettes out of her back pocket and lit one up, inhaling deeply in an effort to ground herself. Her hands shook as she held the cigarette between her fingers, her eyes stinging with unshed tears, and her heart was hammering hard against her chest. Emily leaned against the building, resting her head back against the wall as she desperately tried to calm herself, but it seemed that the more she tried to calm down, the more worked up she got. She finished smoking her cigarette, before pushing herself away from the wall and heading down the street. She needed to get away from here, send her mind somewhere else. If even just for a little while.

'What's wrong? You look worried' Riley stated casually, while her lips curled up into a satisfied smirk. 'Worried that Emily won't come back to you?' she sneered, her words cutting through Alison like knives.  
'You don't know anything about mine and Emily's relationship' Alison countered. However her words lacked confidence, because she really didn't know what Emily had told Riley, or if she had told her anything at all.  
'Oh, on the contrary, I know a lot' Riley said as she began to pace around the room. 'I know all about your disappearance, you faking your death, leaving your girlfriend to grieve. I know everything, Alison'  
Alison's eyes widened slightly at this information and the brunette's use of her real name. Riley knew the truth and yet had never confronted her about it.  
'How do you know?' Alison asked, her voice barely a whisper. Riley clicked her tongue as she paced around Alison, whose own head was beginning to race with a million and one questions.  
'You really should be more careful about what you leave lying around in a bedroom that you share' Riley replied as she wagged her finger at Alison. 'I decided to have a spring clean a few months ago and I came across a box in the back of the closet. I wasn't sure what was inside, so I opened it, only to find a journal and a whole bunch of newspaper clippings about a missing teenager from years ago.' Riley explained, and Alison instantly cursed at herself for being so stupid. She should never have even kept that stuff, let alone stored it in the closet.

'Usually I wouldn't pay too much attention to it all, but I recognised the face of the girl in the articles. Funnily enough, she shared a room with me. Only she had told me her name was Holly' Riley continued her story, her words casual and light, as though she were talking about her day. 'You can understand why I was curious' she half questioned, shrugging her shoulders a little before she continued. 'So, I got onto the internet and I did a little research. I couldn't find anything about a Holly Blythewater, not a dickie bird. But Alison DiLaurentis, oh boy. It was like a treasure trove of information, and god did I find out all of the gory details. There were newspaper articles, video clips, the lot. I was about five YouTube videos in when I first saw Emily's face. Standing there with three other girls, all of them looking heartbroken. They hadn't found your body yet and the girls were begging for you to come home. They all looked so sad, but Emily's face stuck with me because she looked so delicate. Almost haunted, by the fact that you had left her. I knew just by looking at her face that you were more than a friend to her, it doesn't take a genius to work it out'  
'So you hooked up with Emily because of what? Because I left her behind? I don't get it, Riley!' Alison spat, anger filling her that yet again, Emily was going through hell because of her.  
'Calm down, it's not like I went out of my way to find her' Riley sighed, as though she were already growing bored of this conversation. 'I was going to reach out to her on social media, but I couldn't find the right way to introduce myself to her. Months I spent just looking at her pictures online, wondering what was going on in that beautiful head of hers.' Riley continued, her eyes glazing over as she spoke, remembering the way she would scroll for hours through a fashion blog that Emily seemed to model for. Alison looked on in disgust as she realised that she hadn't known Riley at all. All those years of thinking that she needed to protect Riley, and the woman was off her rocker.

'I got lucky though, because she found me. She must have known that we had a connection' Riley said softly, her voice almost dreamlike now. 'At first I didn't say too much, I was too shy and taken aback by the fact that she was standing in front of me. But she came back, and I was more prepared that time. I had remembered her order, I wanted to impress her. I wanted to make her happy, and I think she knew that we belonged together, because she called me that same night and asked to meet up'  
'You're so fucking sick' Alison whispered, her face drained of colour as she listened to Riley's story. Listening to how she had basically landed a sociopath on Emily's doorstep.  
'I'm sick!?' Riley shouted, snapping her head to look at Alison. 'Excuse me love, but aren't you the one who faked her death in the first place?'

Emily hadn't meant to come here, though she hadn't exactly fought it either. Her feet had naturally led the way, knowing the one thing that she wanted but knew she shouldn't have. She could tell herself that it would be just the one, but she knew deep down that it wouldn't. She knew that once she started she wouldn't be able to stop, and a part of her didn't even care right now. It was that part that was taking control now, silencing Emily's logic that was telling her to turn back and go home, as she picked up the glass and placed it to her lips. She grimaced as the Whisky hit the back of her throat, the shot glass slamming down on the table while she swallowed the liquid. Her excitement peaked at the taste of her old friend and as she automatically found herself ordering another.

'I don't understand. Why didn't you just ask me about it when you found out?' Alison asked in confusion, her voice finally finding itself again after Riley's revelation.  
'What, for you to lie to me again?' Riley scoffed. 'We'd known each other for over four years by the time I found out. Four years of you lying about your identity and everything to do with you, while I was nothing but honest about my shitty upbringing' Riley said angrily, her voice beginning to rise as she thought about all of the lies Alison had told her over the years.  
'What was I supposed to say to you, Riley? You have no idea what I went through' Alison shouted back, her own anger building to match Riley's.  
'And I haven't been through stuff!?' Riley was screaming now. 'I told you everything about my past, what my family were like. Everything! And you lied to my face time and time again!' Riley continued, her face growing red with rage as she closed in on Alison, who wasn't entirely sure what Riley was capable of anymore.

'The most killing thing is, I fell in love with the person you pretended to be' Riley's voice was softer now, but it still had a dangerous edge to it that chilled Alison to the bone.  
'You didn't love me, Riley. If you loved me then you would never have done this' Alison countered. 'And just an F.Y.I. I never loved you, not even an ounce' Alison spat, wanting to hurt Riley as much as she could. Riley laughed at Alison's words.  
'Oh really?' Riley asked, still chuckling at Alison's previous statement. 'Then why did you go on that job that I set up?' Riley asked, her voice serious now. Her eyes flashed menacingly and Alison felt a cold sweat creep up her back at the mention of last night.  
'You set it up?' Alison asked, suddenly speechless at the endless reveals. Suddenly everything made sense to Alison. She had thought it strange that Jeff would send her to a dingy bar, to escort a card game of all things. But then when she had drunk the drink Eduardo gave her and blacked out, she had woken up terrified. She had instantly feared the worst, that she had been raped or mutilated, but she found that she was safely in one piece, nobody had even touched her. Sure, she had fought to get out of the house and she lost the money she had earned that night, so she spent the next few hours panicking about what Jeff would do to her about that, but overall the whole ordeal was uneventful and just plain strange.

'You hired them to kidnap me so that I couldn't tell Emily I was alive' Alison breathed, the facts finally slotting into place.  
'Well, get the girl a fucking medal' Riley replied, clapping her hands slowly as if to congratulate Alison on her detective skills. 'See, I knew that the second Emily found out you were alive, I would be long forgotten. Sure, she'd probably take a while to trust you again, but either way, I'd be ditched to the curb like a used tissue and I couldn't let that happen. I care about her, you know. I can see why you loved her so much, she's an amazing woman. She was probably even more amazing before you fucked her up' Riley bit. The two women were glaring at each other, caught in a stand-off as they fought over Emily Fields.  
'And now you've fucked her up even more. Congratu-fucking-lations' Alison replied, her lips curling into a sneer as she fought back the urge to rip Riley's head off. Riley shook her head in disagreement.  
'No, I haven't. Because unlike you, I'm going to stick around to fix my mistakes. I'm not going to leave her to deal with her pain alone, because I actually care about her' Riley sneered, and Alison felt something in her snap. Her hand flew up and connected with Riley's cheek, whose eyes glared more dangerously than Alison had seen them, but she herself had a small inferno growing inside of her, ready to be unleashed.  
'Bitch!' Riley screamed as she launched herself at Alison.

'Do you hear that screaming?' Spencer asked, her eyebrows furrowing together as she tilted her head, trying to listen for the noise coming from below them.  
'It's probably just the neighbours, they're always arguing' Hanna dismissed Spencer as she scrolled through her Facebook page on her phone.  
'No, Hanna I think it's coming from downstairs' Spencer insisted. A loud smash confirmed her suspicions, and even Hanna looked up from her phone for a second with a worried look.  
'Emily' Hanna breathed, before shooting out of her seat and down the stairs to the brunette's apartment. She knew that Emily had been angry earlier and she hadn't felt good about leaving the two women alone. Now it seemed that her fears had been confirmed. With Spencer thundering along behind her, Hanna pushed her way into Emily's apartment. Her eyes widened when she saw Alison pinning Riley to the ground, holding the younger woman's arm to her back while she pinned her with her knee.

'What the-'  
'Fuck!'  
'Oh, uh, hey guys' Alison breathed as she looked up from Riley, trying to catch her breath.  
'What happened here?' Spencer asked, her eyebrows shooting up her forehead.  
'Yeah, and where is Em?' Hanna asked in concern.  
'It's a long story, one I will be happy to share with you once I get this low life piece of trash out of Emily's apartment' Alison growled as she hauled Riley up off of the floor with ease. Spencer and Hanna both looked on impressed as Alison marched the brunette out.  
'I took some self-defence classes when I left Rosewood' Alison explained as she led Riley out of the apartment.  
'Just because you throw me out of her apartment, it doesn't mean that I won't come back' Riley jibed with a smirk as Alison led her down the stairs.  
'If you know what's good for you, you'll stay away from the both of us' Alison threatened, before opening the door on the ground floor and throwing Riley outside.  
'You can't keep me away, Ali. You know she doesn't want you' Riley shouted, turning on Alison as the blonde closed the door and walked back up the stairs, blocking out the sounds of Riley's shouting from outside of the building.

Emily leaned against the bar, swirling the brown liquid around her glass as she stared at it intently. She briefly wondered how she had ended up back here again, but she was already far too gone to focus on a coherent thought for long enough to make any sense of it. She got fleeting thoughts of Riley and Alison and Hanna and Spencer, the lies that they had told and the truths that were slowly unravelling. It hurt to think that Hanna had known about this, the one person she thought that she could trust and now Emily didn't know if she ever could trust Hanna. Hell, she wasn't even sure if she could trust herself anymore. After all, she couldn't trust herself to stay away from the booze indefinitely.  
'You ok, pretty girl?' came a voice from beside her, but Emily ignored the person who had slid into the seat beside her. She didn't want company and she most definitely did not want to talk. Right now, all she wanted was to wallow in her own misery and think about how fucked up her life had become. She had had so much potential, so many things that she had wanted to do. She had wanted to become a Sports Orthopaedic Surgeon, wanting to help athletes with injuries, but she had fucked up so much at school, she couldn't get into college to study for that, so she had settled for Physiotherapy, figuring it was along the same lines. She loved her job, but it wasn't her dream job. Then there was Alison, the woman she had once upon a time dreamed of spending the rest of her life with, only to lose her before they even got started. Now, when she was finally finding someone who was able to make her feel even a little part of the happiness that Alison had made her feel, Alison comes back and it turns out that she had possibly planted Riley in her lap. The only thing Emily couldn't figure out was why, but then again, she had spent years pondering the whys and what ifs of Alison DiLaurentis and she had never gotten close to the answers she needed. Emily figured that she was a woman destined for unhappiness.

'Wait, so let me get this right. Riley dated Emily because you lied to her about who you really were?' Spencer asked in confusion. 'That doesn't even make any sense'  
'Bitch is fucking crazy if you ask me' Hanna muttered, causing Spencer to glare at her.  
'Look, I don't know what her intentions really were, all I know is that she had me freaking kidnapped and she's been pretty much stalking Emily, and I'm not putting Em in any more danger than I already have' Alison explained to Spencer, her voice shaking as scenarios of Riley hurting Emily ran through her head.  
'So, where did Em go?' Hanna asked, silently praying that she hadn't done what Hanna had always feared she would do.  
'I'm not sure, I didn't follow her' Alison replied apologetically.  
'Shit, I need to find her' Hanna breathed, causing Alison to look at her in confusion and a look of dread to fall over Spencer's face.  
'You don't think she-?' Spencer asked, not wanting to finish the sentence.

'I hope not, but today's been a crazy day. It might just have been enough to push her over the edge' Hanna replied as she pulled her phone out and hit Emily's number.  
'Wait, you think she's gone to a bar?' Alison asked. 'Give her a little more credit than that, Emily's stronger than you think' she added, thinking her friends were over reacting. Alison knew Emily Fields, and she knew that the brunette was resilient and never gave up easily.  
'With all due respect Ali, you don't know her like we do. She's not the same girl she was in High School. She's changed' Spencer replied, causing Alison to drop her gaze.  
'I'm sorry' Alison said softly, realising that Spencer was right, she had no idea about who Emily was anymore.

Emily paid for her next drink, sipping on the double vodka and soda water instantly. Her vision was beginning to grow blurred around the edges and the noises around her were beginning to become muffled as she grew more and more intoxicated, but the voices in her head grew louder by the second. Unlike before, when Emily was able to block out the voices with alcohol, now they just grew more intense. She could hear a musical tune piercing through the fogginess, it sounded familiar to her. It took Emily longer than it should for her to realise that it was her phone. She rummaged through her bag, finding the object and hitting answer without looking at the screen.

'Hello?' she slurred once her phone was to her ear, her other hand wrapped around her drink.  
'Emily? Are you ok?' came Hanna's concerned voice, and if Emily wasn't so intoxicated she probably would have felt guilty.  
'I'm fine, Hanna' Emily slurred her response unconvincingly, causing Hanna to sigh.  
'Where are you, Em?' Hanna asked, her voice more concerned than before. Emily screwed her face up at her phone, pulling it away from her face before placing it back to her ear again.  
'Why?' she demanded with an angry edge to her tone.  
'Because I need to make sure that you're ok' Hanna replied, wishing that Emily would just tell her where she was. But Hanna knew just how stubborn Emily could be when she was drunk and she knew that it wasn't a pretty sight.  
'I don't need you here, Hanna. Leave me alone' Emily stated before hanging up the phone. Hanna looked at the phone in shock before turning to the others.  
'She hung up on me' Hanna explained with a groan.  
'Ok, so what's plan B?' Alison asked, realising that Spencer and Hanna had clearly been right to worry about Emily.

'I'm almost there' Aria spoke into her phone, nodding as she spoke. 'Yes, yes I know. See you soon' she ended the conversation before hanging up the call. She stuffed her phone into her bag and continued down the street, turning off to enter a small basement bar. Aria pushed the door open and made her way in, looking around for the familiar face. She sighed when she set her sights on the person, sitting in the back corner alone, nursing a Scotch on the rocks. Aria was on her way over to joining them, when she walked past a familiar woman at the bar.  
'Emily?' Aria called, peering around the woman's brunette head of hair to see her face. Aria sighed when she saw that it was indeed Emily, slumped over a half empty glass of Vodka Soda. Aria glanced across at the person she was supposed to be meeting before turning back to Emily, knowing that her friend was more important than anything else at this particular time. Aria wasn't sure what had been going on to make Emily hit the bar again, but she figured that it must have something to do with Alison.

'Em, are you ok?' Aria asked as she slipped into the seat beside Emily.  
'Go away Aria' Emily mumbled incoherently, her words falling out of her mouth as one. Aria's eyes widened at the state that Emily had gotten herself into. The brunette hadn't touched a drop of alcohol in over six years, but it seemed like she was making up for it tonight.  
'Let me take you home' Aria offered, her voice remaining soft and warm. She knew all too well what Emily could get like when she had been drinking, and she wasn't about to get on the wrong side of her.  
'No, I'm not going home' Emily attempted to reply, however like before, only half of her words were coherent. Aria sighed, eyeing Emily carefully before pulling out her phone.  
'Hey, I need you to meet me. I'm at a bar on Bleeker Street' Aria said into her phone, trying to keep her voice low enough that Emily wouldn't freak out on her.  
'What, why?' Spencer's voice came through the other end of the phone.  
'I'm with Emily. She's in a bad way' Aria explained as she side-eyed the brunette, who was now lying across the bar and getting judgemental looks from the barman.

Hanna, Spencer and Alison jumped in a taxi and headed over to the bar where Aria was currently sat with a very drunken Emily. None of the women knew what they would be walking in on when they reached the bar, but Hanna had seen Emily in many different states in many different bars and was well prepared to handle the situation. The car pulled up outside the bar and the three women jumped out and headed straight inside. Spencer was the first to spot Aria and led the way over to the two women, who were now being asked to leave by the barman.

'I'm literally just waiting for my friends and then we're going' Aria argued.  
'If you don't move her, I'm going to' the barman threatened aggressively, causing Hanna's eyebrows to shoot up in surprise, Spencer's eyes to narrow as she eyed the barman and Alison was already resisting the urge to punch this guy in the throat for even mentioning laying a hand on Emily.  
'If you touch her, you'll have a serious lawsuit on your hands buddy' Spencer jumped in, cocking her eyebrow challengingly. Aria turned to see the other three women, letting out a breath of relief at the well timed back up. The barman's face contorted into an angrier glare.  
'Get this bitch out of my bar' he growled, nodding his head in Emily's direction before turning away and serving a customer along the bar.  
'Never thought it'd be so handy having a lawyer around' Hanna muttered, causing Aria and Spencer to chuckle.

'Oh-kay, let's see what the damage is' Spencer breathed as she drew in closer to Emily, who was now unconscious on the bar. Spencer pulled back Emily's hair to take a look at her face, letting out a low whistle when she saw that the brunette was totally out of it.  
'God, Em. What did you do to yourself' Hanna groaned, hating the thought of going through everything again with Emily. She really had thought that they were through this. Alison remained silent while the other three talked about the condition Emily had let herself get into. They seemed so casual about it, which was a clear sign to Alison that they had probably seen Emily in much worse states than this. But this was the first time she had seen first-hand the mess she had made of Emily's life, and it hurt. It hurt to see Emily in the semi-comatose state that she was currently in, and it hurt to know that she was partly responsible for it.  
'We need to get her home' Aria said as the three women rallied to support Emily's weight and get her off of the bar that was supporting her. Once they had her upright, Spencer and Hanna threw an arm over each of their shoulders and held Emily up before making their way out with her, while Aria and Alison followed behind.

'This isn't your fault, you know' Aria said as she flanked Alison's side.  
'Huh?' Alison looked to Aria, shaking herself from her thoughts, and her focus off of Emily.  
'I said it's not your fault that Emily is in this mess' Aria repeated herself. Alison shook her head, a lump forming in her throat as Aria had just brought up the very thing that had been going through her mind.  
'If I hadn't left, Emily wouldn't be like this right now' Alison countered, her voice shaking a little as she spoke.  
'Maybe, but if you hadn't have left them you probably wouldn't be here, period' Aria pointed out. 'Besides, you didn't put the bottle in her hand and tell her to drink' she added as she tenderly rubbed Alison's arm and flashed her a small, warm smile. Alison nodded in recollection, taking in Aria's words. They helped, but they didn't completely dissipate the guilt that she felt.  
'Thanks Aria' Alison replied gratefully. It felt nice to have the girls back in her life and back in her corner. Someone to tell her when she was thinking stupid things or to back her up against sociopathic stalkers, and Alison knew that she would be leaning on these three girls for help on how to handle the whole situation with Emily.

Once outside of the bar, Hanna and Spencer settled Emily down on the ground so that she was sitting against the side of the building.  
'We'll never get a taxi with her in this state' Hanna stated with a sigh.  
'How else are we supposed to get her home?' Aria questioned, since none of them owned a car.  
'I guess I could call Toby' Spencer sighed, though she wasn't exactly sure how her boyfriend would feel about having to drive home her drunk friend in the back of his squad car. Spencer pulled out her phone and hit her boyfriend's name in her contacts list, while the other three women watched. Alison turned to face Emily before crouching down in front of her. The woman was slumped against the wall in a heap and it made Alison feel sad to see it. Alison cupped Emily's cheek in her hand, her thumb gently brushing back and forth over her golden coloured skin.

'Oh Em, why would you do this to yourself' Alison whispered sadly. She knew that today had been a lot for Emily to take in, hell it was a lot to take in for her too, but Alison wished that she had stopped Emily from leaving her apartment, stopped her from getting herself so drunk. Hanna watched curiously from behind, observing the blonde's interactions with Emily, and how tender Alison was with the other woman. Hanna could see the pain this was causing Alison, and she hoped that in time both women would get their happy ending. For now though, Hanna knew that they needed to focus on getting Emily home to bed and sobered up.

Emily's eyes fluttered open and instantly met Alison's blue orbs. She felt a sense of calm wash over her for a second, before she was reminded of who those eyes belonged to and the anger she felt before she had gotten herself completely wasted. It all seemed irrelevant under the intensity of Alison's eyes, as though it were from another lifetime ago.  
'Hanna' Emily groaned, her words still slurred and her vision blurry. She knew that it wasn't Hanna whose hand was placed delicately on her cheek, or Hanna's eyes that she was staring into, but she wanted Hanna. She needed Hanna, because Hanna was her safety net and her security. Hanna was the one consistent thing in her life that she knew, despite anything, she could rely on.  
'Yeah, Em' Hanna answered from behind Alison. Her voice was strangely soft, but it held something there that Emily hadn't heard in Hanna's tone for a long time. Disappointment.  
'Can we go home?' Emily asked, sounding vulnerable and almost childlike. Emily looked beyond Alison and found Hanna, searching for those eyes that had become her comfort over the years.  
'We're going home soon' Hanna sighed, and she didn't miss the sign of hurt that momentarily flashed through Alison's eyes.

Having settled Emily in her bed, Hanna headed back out to the living area of her apartment to find Alison sat silently on the couch.  
'Are you ok?' Hanna asked as she plopped herself down beside the other woman. Alison let out a heavy sigh, wringing her fingers before she answered.  
'I always thought that Emily hating me could be the worst feeling in the world, but today I realised that I was wrong' Alison replied, tilting her head to look at Hanna. 'Realising that she doesn't need me is worse. Today she looked right through me as though I didn't even matter. As though I never even existed.' Hanna stared at Alison, lost for words because she could see that Alison loved Emily and while she knew that a lot of Emily's issues were because of Alison, she wasn't entirely sure how Emily felt about the blonde. Sure, there were a lot of unresolved feelings there and Emily had definitely loved Alison once upon a time, but Hanna wasn't so sure that was the case anymore.

'Ali, Emily is a really complicated person and I know we keep saying it, but a lot has happened over the years.' Hanna began to explain, taking Alison's hand gently in her own. 'I know that Emily cares about you, but in that moment outside of the bar I think she just needed something familiar and unfortunately, you're not that familiar person anymore. Not right now, anyway' Hanna finished, hoping that her words weren't about to make Alison feel any worse than she clearly already was.  
'It's just going to take time. You can't expect her to go straight back to the way things were after 9 years apart' Hanna added, causing Alison to let out a shaky breath.  
'I know, it's just hard' Alison replied softly. 'I love her, Hanna. I never stopped' she added, looking deep into Hanna's eyes.  
'I know' was all Hanna could whisper back.


	8. Everything Has Changed

The gentle sound of snoring came from beside her and her head pounded as she peeled her eyes open, blinking dryly a few times to adjust her eyes to the darkness of the room as she woke. Emily was instantly filled with dread at the knowledge of what she had done just a few hours before, and she was already regretting her decision, if not for the fact that Hanna was surely going to lecture her, then for the killer hangover that was setting in already. She felt like someone was playing a bass drum on her skull and her eyes were sore, her stomach was like a washing machine and her mouth was like a desert. Emily looked to the bedside table to see that Hanna had placed a packet of Aspirin and a small glass of water there for her, and she silently thanked the sleeping woman beside her because Hanna really was the best person in the world. Propping herself onto her elbow, Emily reached forward for the Aspirin packet, popping two pills out into her hand, before tossing them into her mouth and chasing them down with water. It wasn't enough though; her mouth was so dry that the pills hurt as she swallowed them and Emily knew that she would have to get up and get more water. With a small groan, she threw her legs over the edge of the bed and hauled herself upright, steadying herself before she made her way out of Hanna's bedroom and into the living room. She made her way through the darkness of the kitchen, only gently lit by the streetlights outside. She spotted a figure lying on the couch and froze, because even in the darkness, Emily could spot Alison DiLaurentis a million miles away.

Emily cautiously made her way over to the couch and paused beside it. She looked down at Alison's delicate features lit a ghostly silver in the moonlight that filtered through the windows. The curve of her nose, the fullness of her cheeks, the natural pout of her plump lips. She was the most beautiful thing that Emily had ever seen and she wanted so badly to reach out and touch her, to feel the softness of her skin against her own. She found herself reaching down, her fingertips barely grazing Alison's pale skin, when the other woman stirred, her eyes fluttering open to reveal the most mesmerising blue eyes. Emily flinched, pulling her hand back as though she had been burned.  
'Emily?' Alison croaked sleepily as she blinked hard to focus her vision. 'Are you ok?' She asked as she sat upright, her brow furrowing in concern, because until now, Emily had been like a baby bird, all fragile and scared, and she had been so incredibly cautious around Alison. But, here she was, reaching out all brave and strong, and curious to see what she had been running from.  
'Yeah' Emily replied with a subtle nod, though she wasn't exactly sure of how true that was, and Alison could see that. Even after all these years, she could read Emily like a book, and she could see that Emily was far from ok.  
'Do you want to sit down?' Alison asked, offering the seat beside her. Emily stared at it for a longer time than was deemed normal, before silently sitting in it. She could feel Alison's eyes boring into the side of her head, but she couldn't bring herself to look at the blonde woman beside her because she knew that if she did, she would crumble under her gaze.

'Em, I'd like to explain about last night. If you'll let me?' Alison asked, her voice soft and cautious, and she felt like she was handling Emily with kid-gloves, because she was afraid of the woman running again. Emily could hear the fear and worry in Alison's voice, and it was enough to get her to face the other woman. Looking into those eyes was like torture. A beautiful, marvellous torture, because Alison was the thing that Emily had craved for almost a decade, but was also the source of all of the pain and the hurt she had felt over that time.  
'Ok' she whispered finally, because she wanted to know the truth, she needed to know who Riley really was and how she and Alison knew each other. She had to know that Alison hadn't been manipulating the situation, because right now that was the only thing that made any sort of sense to her.  
'Ok' Alison whispered back, taking in a deep breath as she tried to figure out where to start. 'I guess I should start with how I met Riley.'

 _The rain was deafening as it flooded the streets of New York City, the rain drops large and fat, and falling at such a pace, they almost hurt as they landed on the city-goers. Hundreds of people, some in suits, some in casual wear, hurried through the streets, using anything to hand as a shield from the battering wind and rain that had descended upon the city this September afternoon. The usually mild weather had taken a sudden turn, and nobody had been prepared for it, least of all Alison, who was now battling her way through the city in just a t-shirt and jeans, and nothing but a soggy newspaper to shelter her from the ferocious rain. She ran down the street, blinking raindrops out of her eyes as she searched for a more suitable shelter. Finally, she came across a doorway that was large enough for her to squeeze into and hide from the rain. With water dripping from her clothes, Alison ran into the safety of the doorway, her foot kicking against something on the ground. As she looked down, she was face to face with a very young brunette, who was clearly homeless, if the grubby look and tattered clothes were anything to go by._  
 _'Oh my god, I'm so sorry' Alison apologised as she looked down at the scruffy teenager.  
_ _'It's ok. You get used to being invisible in this city' the girl replied, and Alison felt instantly intrigued by the girl's British accent. She looked at the girl, who couldn't have been more than sixteen years old, around the same age she had been when she had left Rosewood and started taking care of herself, and she wondered what could have happened for this girl to have ended up where she was.  
_ _'What's your name?' Alison asked curiously as she leaned against the wall of the small doorway, trying her best to keep as much of herself out of the torrential rain that was still pouring.  
_ _'Riley' the girl replied after a beat, and she seemed almost happy to have someone make the effort to even ask her name.  
_ _'Nice to meet you, Riley. My name's Holly' Alison replied, her fake name slipping easily from her tongue._

 _'Do you mind if I sit with you until the rain passes?' Alison asked politely, wanting to get to know this girl better.  
_ _'Go ahead. My castle is your castle' Riley quipped as she scooted over to make room for Alison to sit._ _Alison positioned herself on the grubby blanket that Riley had folded to cushion the concrete ground beneath her, leaning with her back against the door behind her.  
_ _'So, you sleep here. Huh?' Alison asked in a way that she hoped was somewhat casual, though judging by Riley's facial expression, it was far from it.  
_ _'Look, if you're a social worker then you can leave' Riley snapped as she whipped her head around to look at Alison, who held her hands up in defence.  
_ _'I'm not, I promise!' Alison replied quickly. 'I'm just curious, is all' She admitted honestly, hoping that she could get Riley talking, but as the silence filled the air around them she realised that she had lost the young brunette.  
_ _'I slept in a few places like this' Alison said after a few minutes, hoping that a different tactic might work. Riley looked at her, her eyebrow raised sceptically.  
_ _'You slept in a doorway? Yeah right' Riley scoffed as she rolled her eyes and looked back to the people passing on the street.  
_ _'Seriously. I had a few weeks sleeping rough a few years ago. I was about your age actually' Alison added nonchalantly. It was strange to talk about that time in her life, she never spoke about it to anyone. It was hidden so far down from the life that she was building for herself, that it might as well have happened to someone else and besides the nightmares and scars that were left behind, Alison was pretty much able to pretend that was the case.  
_ _'What happened?' Riley asked curiously, and Alison had to hide a smirk because if she learned anything while living on the streets over that short time, it was how to defend herself and that street kids love to hear a story.  
_ _'Why don't you tell me first?' Alison replied._

'She moved from London to New York with her Dad when she was fourteen. They'd only been in the country for a few months, when her Dad was killed in a hit and run' Alison explained. 'She didn't have any other relatives for them to send her back to London, so she was put it into the system and shipped out to a foster home. When I found her, she'd been sleeping rough for a few months already. I'm still shocked that she lasted that long to be honest' Alison finished, and Emily couldn't help but feel sorry for Riley. Whatever had happened since then, Emily knew that no teenager deserved to go through what she had. To move to another country and then be left alone after only a few months was awful, and Emily wouldn't wish it upon anyone.  
'That's sad and all, but it still doesn't explain how she ended up mixed up in all of this' Emily said simply, causing Alison to smile a little, because she could see that deep down, beneath the brooding and alcohol abuse, was the Emily Fields that she had fallen in love with all those years ago. That impatient, curious girl who needed to know the answers and wanted to see nothing but good in the world. The girl who loved and cared so much about so many people, that Alison was scared that she didn't have any left for herself. Deep down, was the Emily Fields who found it far easier to trust people than Alison ever could, and she hoped that she could draw that side of the girl out. She hoped that she could get her Emily back, because without her, the world was a much darker and miserable place to live.  
'No, it doesn't' Alison agreed with a sigh. 'I just wanted you to know where she came from and why I chose to help her. Because when I first met her, she was a completely different person to the one who was here last night' Alison explained sadly. She had thought she was helping Riley, trying to look after the woman who was so troubled, and so much like the girl that Alison could have ended up becoming had she have been so unfortunate.  
'I've known Riley for about five years now, and I've tried so hard to help her chose the right path. I gave her a place to live, helped her get a job, and tried to keep her out of trouble' Alison continued, while Emily listened intently, because even when they were a couple, Emily had never heard Alison speak so earnestly before. She wanted to take in every word the blonde said, because she said each one with such importance, as though her life depended on her telling this story.  
'But, Riley chose a different path. She chose drugs and alcohol, and selling herself to men for a guy who's about as threatening as Mickey Mouse' Alison stated sadly, because despite what Riley had done, Alison couldn't deny that she had cared about the other woman and it hurt that she had been betrayed.  
'Wait, Riley was a prostitute?' Emily asked in shock.  
'Unfortunately' Alison replied with a sad shrug. 'I tried so many times to get her out of it, I even took a couple of jobs for her when I thought things would be too dangerous' Alison admitted shamefully. She had to look away from Emily in that moment, she couldn't bare the thought of those brown eyes looking at her in the disgust that she felt for herself.  
'Ali' Emily breathed, and Alison hadn't heard the other woman say her name like that in such a long time. The one word was so full of concern, and Alison could hear how much Emily still cared for her. She could almost hear the love trying to break through Emily's walls, and it gave Alison more hope than she had felt since she had left Emily in her car all those years ago back in Rosewood. Emily's hand was suddenly on her forearm, and Alison dared to look up into her eyes and was surprised that she didn't find an ounce of disgust for what she had done, but a concern that matched the brunettes tone.

'I am so sorry for what I've done to you' Alison breathed. She felt heavy under Emily's gaze, because the other woman was looking at her like she was the broken one, and Alison didn't feel that she deserved any sympathy from the brunette, because it was Emily who was suffering because of what she had done. It was Emily who had been through hell and back because of her, and she was so blinded by what her leaving had done to the woman she had loved all those years ago, that Alison couldn't see that she too was broken.  
'You don't need to apologise anymore' Emily whispered so softly that Alison almost missed it.  
'I do though' she replied almost instantly, but was cut off by Emily.  
'No. Stop apologising and tell me about Riley' Emily interrupted, 'I need to know the truth' she added, and she was being honest. She wanted to know who this woman was that she had been spending her time with. The woman she had let into her home and her bed, and who also seemed to share a home with the only person she had ever loved.  
'I didn't know that you and her were dating' Alison stated firmly, because she wanted to emphasize the point that she had nothing to do with Riley coming into Emily's life, though she wondered whether Emily had figured that out on her own because she didn't seem anywhere near as angry as she did before. She paused to see if Emily would argue, but when the brunette didn't respond, she continued.  
'The first time I even knew that she knew you was last night in your apartment, and the second I saw her I figured that she was up to something' Alison continued, her eye trained carefully on Emily for any sign of this all being too much for the brunette, because the last thing Alison needed was for Emily to flee to another bar on her watch. 'When you left, Riley told me that she'd figured out who I really was and had seen pictures and videos of you around the time of my disappearance. She wanted to contact you, but she didn't. And then, by some sort of a miracle, you managed to walk into her coffee shop. The rest, you probably know more about than I do' Alison finished, her face flushing as she remembered passing Emily's apartment and hearing the moans coming from inside. She had already figured that it had been Riley, but the guilty look on Emily's face was confirmation enough.  
'I'm sorry that I assumed you had something to do with all of this' Emily said, as she mulled Alison's words over. 'And I'm sorry that she betrayed you like that. I can tell you cared about her' she added, and this time it was Alison's turn to feel guilty, because she hadn't been complete honest about her relationship with Riley, but she figured that Emily didn't need to know the details. Not when she was still so vulnerable.  
'I'm sorry that I brought her into our lives' Alison replied with a sad smile. 'I don't ever want to do anything that would hurt you, Em. Whatever else has changed with us, that never will' she continued, and both women could feel the air getting heavier. As they looked deep into each other's eyes, both women felt the love they had shared once upon a time, radiate around them as though they had been placed back into a time where Alison hadn't broken Emily's trust, and Emily hadn't turned to alcohol to deal with her issues, and the only problem they had was how to tell their friends that they were more than friends. It was Emily who broke the eye contact, as she leaned in closer and pressed her lips against Alison's and for one magical second, both women felt as though the life was being zapped back into them. One split second, before Alison was pulling back, and they came crashing back to Earth.

'Emily. We can't' she breathed, and Alison hated herself for it because she wanted nothing more than to take Emily in her arms and ravage her with love. But, she also knew that if this was something they were going to pursue, then they needed to take it slow. They both had a lot of issues to deal with, and rushing into something wasn't going to help that.  
'I'm sorry, I just thought-' Emily mumbled, instantly moving to put as much space between them as possible, but Alison's hand was on her wrist before she could move anywhere.  
'There is nothing in this world that I want more than you' Alison interrupted, her heart racing and burst with love for this beautifully damaged woman in front of her. 'But Em, there's too much going on right now. We can't just rush into this. I mean, a few hours ago we were scraping you off of a bar and trying to stop the owner from calling the cops. That's something that we need to talk about and deal with, and we can do it together if you want, but for now it has to be just as friends' Alison explained sadly. She could sew the pain and confliction in Emily's eyes, and she prayed that the brunette wasn't about to run out the door. It was exactly the first thought that entered her mind, she couldn't deal with the rejection, but Emily knew that it wasn't the answer. Alison was offering to help her, which meant that she would be sticking around, for now at least.  
'Ok. Just friends' Emily replied eventually, even though it hurt to ever say those words to Alison, because they had never just been friends before. Emily wasn't even sure if she knew how to be Alison's friend.  
The two women sat in an uncomfortable silence, neither of them really knowing what to say to the other. Both women still had so many questions to ask, but neither of them really know how to ask them. How to bring up the topics that they needed to discuss. It was Alison who finally broke the silence.

'Em, can I ask you something?' Alison asked, looking up to the brunette, who was looking right back at her. Emily nodded silently, signalling Alison to continue.  
'Where do you think we'd be right now if I didn't leave Rosewood?' she asked, and Emily's eyes widened at the loaded question because it was one that she had thought to herself time and time again. She had gone over every possible scenario, and had always come back to the conclusion that she and Alison would very much still be together, because there was nothing that could destroy the love that they had shared.  
'I don't know' Emily replied, not wanting to expose the years worth of questioning and fantasies that had played out in her head about Alison.  
'Do you think we'd still be together?' Alison asked again, her own mind now trying to go through any possible reason why they might have broken up, other than her disappearing.  
'I don't know. Maybe' Emily replied again with a shrug of the shoulders. It hurt to think about, the possibility that she and Alison might still be together now, living happily ever after. Instead they had been thrown a life of uncertainty, years of pain and here they were, sat on Hanna's couch talking about what could have been, and vowing to just be friends. It was almost laughable how differently their lives had panned out.

'I should probably go back to bed' Emily said softly, even though she desperately wanted to just cuddle up on the couch, wrapped up in Alison's arms. It was that want that had her standing up from the couch, because Emily know that if she stayed, she would try to kiss Alison again and she knew that she couldn't do that.  
'Em' Alison hushed, her hand wrapping gingerly around Emily's wrist to keep her in place just a little longer. Emily looked back to Alison and waited for the blonde to continue, but Alison quickly realised there was nothing more for her to say. She wanted to tell Emily that she loved her. She wanted to ask her to stay with her and never leave. She wanted to take back everything she had said about just being friends, because even after all these years, Emily Fields was her one weakness, but she knew that what she had said was right. They did need to take it slow and they did have a lot of issues they needed to work through, and being in a relationship would only complicate things further.  
'I'm here for you. I know that I wasn't before, but I am now, and I'm not going anywhere' she finally said, a subtle firmness to her voice.  
'I know' Emily replied softly, before pulling her arm from Alison's grip.  
'Goodnight Ali' Emily said with one last lingering look, before she made her way back to Hanna's bedroom, leaving Alison alone in the dark living room.  
'Goodnight Em' Alison whispered into the darkness, her eyes fixed on the bedroom door.

Emily climbed back into the bed, trying her best not to wake Hanna, but the second she got in, the blonde turned to face her.  
'Where did you go?' Hanna asked as she propped herself up on her elbow.  
'To get water' Emily replied, realising that she hadn't actually managed to get herself any water, though she wasn't actually feeling thirsty anymore.  
'You were gone for a long time, Em' Hanna replied, rolling her eyes at Emily's blatant lie.  
'I heard you talking to Ali' she confessed. After having woken to an empty bed, Hanna had panicked that Emily had hit up her liquor cabinet and had gone to find the brunette. When she saw Emily sitting with Ali, she decided it was best to leave them alone, though the two girls words had echoed through the apartment and she had heard every word.  
'Be careful, ok' Hanna warned. Emily was confused by this, because Alison posed no threat to her.  
'What do you mean?' she asked, her brows furrowing.  
'I just don't want you to get in too deep, and end up getting hurt again' Hanna explained. 'I mean, I love Ali and I'm so glad that she's back, but I saw how much it hurt you to lose her the first time. If you lost her again, I don't know what it would do to you' she continued, and Emily relaxed a little because she could see that Hanna was just worried about her.  
'Ali and I are just friends' Emily replied quickly, though it hurt to say those words because she wanted nothing more than to be more than friends with the blonde.  
'Em, we both know that neither of you really want it be that way' Hanna countered softly. 'But, I really think that it might be for the best. For now at least' she finished, giving Emily a sad smile.  
'I know' was all that Emily could say in response, because she was all talked out, and really what was the point in arguing anyway? Ali had made it clear that nothing could happen with them, and Emily wasn't even sure she wanted a relationship. She loved Ali, of course she did, but she was still so hurt by what had happened all those years ago and she wasn't sure she could trust the blonde yet. In fact, she wasn't sure of anything right now. All she knew was that Alison was back in her life, and she hoped that it was for good this time, and she knew that if Alison only ever wanted to be friends then she would do that, just to have the blonde in her life, even if she was hoping for more.


	9. Broken Strings

Alison pulled on a slightly too tight sweater of Hanna's and the single pair of jeans that she had, which were beginning to look as though they needed a good wash. It had been four long days since she had temporarily moved into the other blonde's apartment, and Alison still hadn't had the courage to go to her own apartment to so much as grab some clothes to wear, instead relying on Hanna, and Emily on the odd occasion, to provide her with some form of clothing. She knew that she had to go home soon, even if it was to grab some of her things, but it was the thought of facing Riley that had stopped her from doing so. The anger that rose up inside of her whenever she thought about the younger woman was shocking to her, because she hadn't felt anger like this since her Dad. She knew why she felt such intense hatred for the other woman though. The thought of anyone being even the smallest threat to Emily had her blood boiling, and Alison knew that she would do whatever it took to keep Riley from her.  
She made her way from the bathroom and into the living room that she was currently calling her home, thanks to Hanna's immense generosity and insistence that she stay with her. She was grateful that the other blonde woman cared enough to open her home and let her in, because Alison honestly still wasn't sure exactly what the other women thought of her, though she figured that was mostly due to her own guilty conscience for her past actions. She wondered if she would ever be able to forgive herself for the mess she had caused Emily's life to become, knowing that the simple answer was no, she wouldn't.

'Morning' Hanna greeted sleepily as she impatiently watched the coffee maker, waiting for the green light to say that her fresh coffee was made and ready to drink.  
'Good Morning' Alison replied with a smile. 'I see that your thoroughly entertained' she chuckled as she made her way into the kitchen area of the apartment.  
'Damn machine is holding my coffee hostage' Hanna mumbled in response, causing Alison to laugh, shaking her head softly.  
'What time do you have to work today?' Alison asked as she busied herself making some breakfast for herself. Knowing that she would be staying with Hanna for a while, she had taken it upon herself to get some groceries in, wanting to fill the other woman's cupboards with something that was at least semi-edible.  
'Uh, not until 9' Hanna replied in a distracted manner, her eyes still fixed on the coffee maker. 'Thank you, lord!' She cheered as the machine clicked, the tiny red dot turning to green to show that it was ready. She grabbed the glass pot and began to pour the heavily caffeinated beverage into a mug, while Alison chuckled yet again at the other woman's antics. She really had missed Hanna's quirky, free-spirited nature.

'I'm finishing at 2 today though, I promised Emily that I'd take her to her session' Hanna continued the previous conversation, wanting to size out Alison's response to the mention of the brunette, who had scarcely visited and hardly been mentioned since that night. Alison froze a little at the mention of Emily, but relaxed just as quickly, though her heart began to race just a little faster as her mind was filled with thoughts of the brunette.  
'Oh really?' Alison hummed in response. 'I didn't realise that you guys ever went with her' she added curiously, wondering why Emily would need a chaperone for a therapy session.  
'We don't usually' Hanna replied as she stirred a sickly amount of sugar into her black coffee, having gotten used to drinking the beverage without milk, since she wasn't all that great at buying it. Alison looked on in disgust as she watched the blonde free pour the sugar from the bag.  
'So, why is today any different?' She asked as she began to butter her toast, a look of disgust still evident on her face at Hanna's idea of good coffee.  
'Well' Hanna sighed as she turned to lean against the counter, cupping the mug between her hands as she blew over the top to cool it. 'She's worried about bumping into Riley. Her therapist's office is right across the street from the coffee shop that crazy bitch works in' she explained, as she silently debated, and not for the first time, paying the younger woman a visit while Emily was in her session. 'Oh' Alison breathed in understanding, a wave of guilt washing over her, because this was all her fault and she wished she could make it better. However, right now Emily was seemingly avoiding her since their conversation, so Alison didn't really know where she stood with her since they had barely spoken since she had told the brunette that they should just be friends. Judging by Emily's absence since then, Alison figured that maybe the other woman didn't totally agree, and she was beginning to wonder if she herself even agreed with her previous thoughts.

'Have you, um, spoken to Emily much?' She asked, trying her best to sound casual as she took a bite from the corner of her toast, though Hanna saw right through it.  
'You mean has Emily spoken to me about you?' She asked with a prominent smirk that made Alison roll her eyes. 'No, not since the other night, anyway' Hanna answered sympathetically, and the look of disappointment that washed over Alison's face was unmissable.  
'Look, Ali. Em's...complicated' she sighed. 'She's barely holding on, and this is all still a lot for her to get her head around. You just need to be patient with her, she'll get there eventually' she finished, giving the other woman a small, sympathetic smile, because she knew that as hard as this was for Emily, it was equally as hard for Alison.  
'I just wish she'd stop avoiding me so we could try to build some kind of relationship' Alison sighed sadly as she began to play with her toast, pulling the crust off with her fingers and dropping it onto the plate below.  
'Like I said, she's complicated. This is just how she deals with things. And even you know how stubborn she is, so there's no point in trying to push her' Hanna replied with an eye roll, which caused Alison to let out a breathy chuckle, because she did know how stubborn Emily could be. She had found that out the hard way back in High School when she and Emily had first started to realise that there was something different between them. Alison hadn't been exactly comfortable with how she felt about the other girl, not wanting to admit that she had deeper feelings than could be deemed platonic. It was Emily's stubbornness and unwillingness to give up on them that made Alison come to accept how she felt about the brunette. It was endearing really, and her determination had made Alison fall that bit more in love with her.

'She'll come around, but not until she's ready' Hanna said softly, pulling Alison out of her memory of the old days. 'In the mean-time, we just need to be here for her if, and when, she needs us' she added as she took a sip from her coffee.  
'You're right' Alison replied. 'When did you get so insightful?' She asked, her lips threatening to twist up into a playful smirk.  
'I've always been insightful, you guys just never listened to me' Hanna retorted with a chuckle. The two women giggled, their eyes flashing happily as they both enjoyed the playful banter between them, that was so reminiscent of the friendship they had once shared. While the whole group had been close, Hanna was admittedly closer to Alison than she was to anyone else. The bond they shared was like one that sisters would share, and it had hit Hanna hard when Alison was suddenly gone. Looking back though, she guesses that she had dealt with her grief by doing the thing that she knew Alison would have wanted her to, which would be to look after Emily. As hard as those times were, Hanna knew that she wouldn't have developed the relationship she had with Emily otherwise. Still, she was happy to have Alison home again. She just hoped that Alison and Emily could sort their shit out, so that she could have her two best friends together, with no worries or awkwardness.

'What are your plans today anyway?' Hanna asked once their giggling had settled. She peered over at Alison, who was still pulling at her toast, which now lay in a pile of ripped up pieces on her plate.  
'Nothing much. Work, then Spencer and Aria are coming with me to get some of my things' she replied with a sigh, her tummy knotting anxiously at the thought of having to step foot in her apartment, knowing that Riley would be there.  
'You don't have to rush into that right away, Ali. You know that I've got you for as long as you need' Hanna stated softly, sensing her friend's anxiety, and if she was honest, she wasn't sure how she felt about Alison going to the apartment at all.  
'Han, I need to pick up some clothes. I can't keep stretching out your sweaters, and I definitely can't let you keep raiding Emily's closet' Alison replied with a polite firmness, and Hanna knew that she was right. It was ridiculous that Ali was walking around in borrowed clothes, when she had her own perfectly good clothes at her apartment.  
'Well, I guess since Spencer and Aria are going with you, you should be ok' Hanna relented, though she still wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea. Alison couldn't help but smile at the other woman's protectiveness, it was one of the things she loved about her old friend.

Spencer pulled the heavy door open as she entered the restaurant, instantly looking around for the shorter brunette, who was her lunch date for the day. It didn't take long to spot her sitting in the corner booth, quietly scrolling through her phone while she sipped a fruity looking drink through a straw. Spencer frowned at the alcoholic beverage as she made her way across the bustling room, sliding smoothly into the booth.  
'Oh, hey!' Aria greeted in surprise as she clicked off her phone screen, flashing Spencer a pleasant smile.  
'Don't hey me, Montgomery. What's with the cocktail?' Spencer asked, one eyebrow shooting up in question, causing Aria to laugh nervously, though she wasn't entirely sure why she was feeling so nervous in the first place.  
'Uh, it's non-alcoholic and besides, who says I can't drink?' She asked in confusion as she pulled her glass closer to her, holding it in a protective way as though she were scared that Spencer would take it away.  
'No-one, I just didn't want you drinking without me' Spencer replied, dropping the seriousness from her tone and voice, and instead flashing Aria a playful smile before flagging down the waiter.  
'We'll take two of those, but this time with plenty of alcohol in them' she instructed before turning back to the shorter woman.

''Rough day, Spence?' Aria asked in surprise, because the other woman was never usually one to drink during her lunch break, and had often scolded Hanna for doing just that.  
'No, not really, work is fine. I'm just feeling really anxious with everything that's going on' Spencer admitted, rolling her shoulders as though she was trying to relieve some of the tension that she had felt building up there over the past few weeks.  
'Everything with Ali, and Emily and Riley. It's all too much. And then there's you' she said, trailing off, because she honestly wasn't sure what was going on with the other woman, she just had a feeling that something was wrong.  
'What about me?' Aria asked, interrupting Spencer's trail of thought. She felt her heart race a little faster as her stomach knotted, nerves hitting her as she grew worried that Spencer knew what she had been up to.  
'Aria' Spencer replied, her head tilted slightly and her eyebrow raised as she looked the other woman up and down. 'You know that you can't lie to me. What is going on with you? You're acting all jumpy and sketchy, you're barely ever around and you're constantly out at restaurants and bars with 'clients'' she listed, air quoting the word 'clients', because she knew that these weren't client meetings that Aria was at. 'What is going on with you?' She repeated firmly, though her tone was more concerning than anything.

Aria sighed as she toyed with her straw, anxiously debating whether she should tell Spencer the truth, though she figured that she didn't really have much of a choice in the matter. She opened her mouth to speak, but was immediately cut off by the waiter, who gingerly placed their drinks down on the table, earning a soft 'thank you' from Spencer, before leaving. Aria briefly wondered if the interruption would earn her a free pass, but when she felt Spencer's eyes boring into her, she knew that she wasn't getting out of this one so quickly.  
'I haven't been going to client meetings' she admitted anxiously, her heart in her throat because she knew how Spencer was going to react to this news.  
'I've been meeting Ezra' she admitted, the words feeling heavy in her throat as she said them. She let out a heavy breath and closed her eyes, waiting for Hurricane Spencer to tear her a new one.  
'Ezra? Aria, are you insane!?' The other woman asked in a hushed voice, because she wanted to get her anger across at this news, but she also wasn't about to cause a scene in a restaurant.  
'After everything he did and the way he acted, you're seeing him again!?' She continued as she tried to wrap her head around any possible reason her friend might have for meeting her crazy ex.  
'I know, but he kept calling me and texting me. He wouldn't leave me alone, Spencer, what was I supposed to do!?' Aria replied in her own hushed tone, that was equally as frustrated and angry as Spencer's, but also held a hint of sadness, because her break up with Ezra had been hard and the last thing she wanted was to keep reliving that time. She wanted to be over it and away from him, but she just couldn't seem to shake him and with every text and every call she received, Aria found it harder and harder to get over him, despite what he did.  
'Then you tell someone, Ar! Me, Toby, anyone! You don't go and meet him alone, in a strange bar and not tell anyone' Spencer replied frantically, her eyes widening as she spoke, because she honestly couldn't believe that Aria would be so foolish.  
'He wouldn't do anything' Aria attempted weakly, but even she couldn't be certain of that because his actions towards the end of their relationship had been irrational and unstable, and she honestly wasn't sure what sort of a person he had become.

'Aria, he's a dangerous person, ok? You of all people know that, so you need to keep away from him' Spencer warned, though her tone was tinged with compassion, because she knew how much her friend had loved him, and that deep down she still did, but what Ezra had done was unforgivable, and Spencer was not about to let Aria get pulled back in again. She reached across the table and gently took the other woman's hands into her own, feeling the need to offer some form of comfort.  
'I know' Aria replied softly, because she knew that he was no good and that he could potentially cause her harm, but that still didn't stop her heart from fluttering whenever he said her name, or whenever she caught sight of those piercing eyes and lazy smile.  
'I can't help the way I feel about him though, Spence' she admitted sadly, her heart feeling like it was breaking all over again at the mere thought of him. She had such a strange confliction of feelings, because she had never loved anyone the way she loved Ezra, yet she had never been as scared of anyone either, and those two feelings mixed together were not a good combination. Even six months on, Aria still struggled to decipher between the two emotions.  
'I get that, I really do. But there's so much going on right now Aria, the last thing we need is to be bringing another psychopathic-ex into the picture. I think Riley's got that part covered pretty well' Spencer replied, giggling at her last few words in an effort to turn the conversation a little lighter. It seemed to work, because Aria let out a small, airy chuckle and nodded in agreement.

Hanna sits in the beige coloured waiting room, her fingers tapping against the arm of the couch impatiently as she waits for Emily. The brunette had only been inside for around five minutes, and already Hanna was bored. She grabbed at one of the out of date magazines that sat on the table in front of her, flicking through the pages without really stopping to read anything. It was a lame attempt to occupy her mind, but she figured she had to try something. It worked for a brief moment, until she reached an advertisement article about haemorrhoids cream and that was the end of that. Hanna slammed the magazine down onto the table with a slap and threw herself back into the couch with a huff, crossing her arms over her chest with a pout. She looked up at the clock to see that she had only been sat there for eight minutes, and with Emily's appointment being an hour long, she knew that it was going to be the longest hour of her life.

Emily wrung her fingers as she spoke, a strange sense of guilt settling over her as she talked about her setbacks.  
'So, Alison is alive. That must have been quite a shock to you' Elizabeth said, her tone calm and welcoming as she spoke, her words sounding like silk as she spoke them.  
'That's an understatement' Emily mumbled, her voice sounding hoarse and dry as she spoke. 'I also found out that Riley was using me, and that she was Ali's roommate' she began to explain. 'It wasn't Ali's fault, but at first I thought that it was. It threw me off and I didn't know what to do, and I lost control' she said, her voice low and her words heavy as she spoke aloud for the first time about her slip up. Emily froze as she remembered that first taste of whisky against her lips, the warm burn as the liquid hit the back of her throat. It was positively thrilling, and had she not been trying to better herself, Emily was sure that she would have gotten up then and there and headed to the closest bar.  
'Do you want to talk about what happened, Emily?' Elizabeth asked softly, her voice gently pushing her to open up, in a non-forceful manner.  
'I-I don't really remember much, only parts' she admitted, looking down at her fingers as she spoke, a feeling of shame washing over her as she remembered the things her friends had told her. The things Hanna had told her, more specifically.  
'My friend, Hanna, told me about what I did that night. It's...I feel ashamed' she stated, re-enacting the scene that Hanna had described in her mind, one that she had no memory of whatsoever.

 _Hanna sighed sadly as she tucked Emily into the bed. She hated seeing her friend like this, it was too reminiscent of the way things were before. Hanna couldn't stop herself from remembering all the times she had to pick her up from bar floors and put up with Emily's drunken verbal abuse. Having to call ambulances because she'd drunk herself into a coma, and having to explain to Mrs Fields, why her daughter was in such a state. Hanna had tried to hide it from the older woman, but that was easier said than done when Emily was coming home wasted every night of the week, if she came home at all. Eventually Hanna had to tell Emily's Mom that she had a problem, and the older woman had tried to get her help, but Emily hadn't wanted it. It wasn't until the second time that she got put into the hospital, and she woke to her Mom's tearful face and a disappointed looking Hanna, that Emily reluctantly agreed to get help. It was seemingly all uphill from there, with a few setbacks here and there. Still, Hanna had thought that was the end of this whole mess. Until Alison came back that was, then she felt like she was sitting on a ledge, just waiting for Emily to fall._

 _'Why did you do this to yourself?' Hanna whispered as she perched herself on the edge of the bed, gingerly leaning over to brush a strand of hair out of Emily's face._  
 _'Hanna' Emily slurred, her throat dry as she spoke, causing her voice to sound husky. Her eyes flickered open, revealing a vulnerability that Hanna hadn't seen since Alison left all those years ago. It took everything in her to not let her tears fall as she took in how incredibly broken Emily looked, and she vowed once again to help her get through this._  
 _'Yeah, Em?' She replied after a moment, once she was sure that she could trust her voice to stay strong, because right now all she wanted to do was cry, and she knew that wasn't going to help anyone._  
 _'I'm sorry' Emily croaked, tears forming in her eyes as she became vaguely aware of what she had done to herself, and how she had let down the one person who had been there for her. 'I'm so sorry' she broke, hot tears spilling down her face as she attempted to sit herself up. Hanna wanted to be mad and hold her ground, and she definitely didn't want to be giving her any sympathy, but seeing her so fragile made Hanna's protective instincts kick in, and she didn't even have to think before she pulled the brunette into her arms and held her close._  
 _'It's ok, I've got you' she whispered into dark hair, placing a gentle kiss to the top of Emily's head._

 _Hanna held Emily tight, pulling the woman close to her chest and tried to give her as much love and light as possible, because the simple thought of the brunette feeling anything but, made Hanna's heart hurt. She held Emily until her sobs calmed, and the brunette pulled back slightly, looking deep into Hanna's blue eyes that were filled with nothing but love and warmth, and Emily needed that right now. She needed something to break the darkness that clouded over her, and with the alcohol clouding her judgement, she found herself leaning in. It wasn't until Emily's lips were on hers, and fingers were tangled in her hair, that Hanna realised what was happening._  
 _'Em! No!' She yelled harshly, pushing Emily off of her, causing the intoxicated brunette to tumble backwards on the bed. Hanna found herself getting up from the bed, needing to put some space between herself and Emily, because while she knew that this was an action fuelled by alcohol, Hanna didn't trust the brunette to keep her hands to herself. Her judgement was proved right when Emily straightened herself up and looked at her with longing eyes._  
 _'Please, Hanna. I need you to make me feel... just make me feel' she slurred, gripping at Hanna's t-shirt in a feeble attempt to pull her back onto the bed._  
 _'Go to sleep, Em. You're drunk' Hanna stated firmly, as she pulled herself away from the brunette and left the room, trying her hardest to control the shock that she felt from Emily's unexpected actions._

Emily felt tears sting her eyes and her whole body felt heavy with shame as she recalled what happened with Hanna. She loved Hanna more than anyone in this world, and the fact that she acted so disgustingly inappropriate towards her, left a taste in her mouth that she couldn't seem to rid. She felt sick to the stomach at the mere thought of doing anything to offend the blonde, and though Hanna had talked to her about it and made it clear that she wasn't upset and that she understood, Emily still couldn't forgive herself.

 _Emily couldn't believe what Hanna was saying to her. As far as she was aware, she had never acted in this way before. The almost predatory behaviour that Hanna was describing sounded like a completely different person to who she knew she was, and if she was being honest, it scared her that she was capable of acting like that, especially towards Hanna._  
 _'Han, I'm so sorry' she apologised sincerely, too shocked to know what else to say to the blonde, who looked concerned and quite frankly, a little anxious, and Emily couldn't blame her because she was sure she'd feel the same if it were the other way around._  
 _'Look, Em. I get it, ok? You needed to feel safe, and I make you feel that' Hanna replied, her voice calm and full of empathy. 'I guess that, somewhere inside, your feelings for me got mixed up and, because you were drunk, you thought they meant something else.' She tried, wanting to come up with a possible reason for Emily acting the way she had, if even for her own peace of mind, because she loved Emily, but it was a strictly platonic love, and the thought of the brunette having feelings deeper than that was ludicrous to her._

 _The two women sat in silence for what felt like a long time, though in reality it can't have been more than a few minutes. Emily's eyes remained fixed on her hands as she fiddled with the hem of the t-shirt that Hanna had gotten her changed into, with a little help from Alison, though Emily tried not to think about that scenario. Hanna could see that Emily was beating herself up over her actions, and it pained her to see the other woman so broken. Hanna let out a small sigh and reached across to take one of Emily's hands in her own._  
 _'I'm not mad at you' she said firmly, wanting Emily to understand that she hadn't told her about last night because she was angry. 'I just wish that you wouldn't put yourself into situations where you act like that. I spent so long trying to get you back to yourself again, and I know that you've never really got there, but it's as close as I was every going to get' Hanna was pouring her heart out now, blinking back the tears, because the thought of Emily going back down the dark path that she had fought so hard to get out of was agonizing, and Hanna wasn't sure she had the strength to go through that again._  
 _'You've come so far, don't go back there again' she was practically begging now, and Emily's guilt only grew with every word that Hanna said, because there was nobody else in this world that she hated disappointing more, than Hanna Marin. The woman who gave up the best part of her life, saving her ass time and time again. The woman who almost flunked out of high school, because she was too busy driving around town to haul Emily's ass up off whatever pub or bar she was passed out in, and then spent the next day helping the brunette to nurse her hangover. Hanna had been Emily's rock, and to disappoint her would be truly unforgivable._

Hanna sighed as she looked at the clock again to see that there was still a little over a half hour left of Emily's appointment, and she was so bored, she was seriously considering starting a small fire, just to get some life in the room and see some action. She figured that maybe a stretch of the legs and some fresh air might do her some good, so with a groan, she pushed herself up from the couch and slowly wandered her way outside, wincing a little as the harsh sunlight stung her eyes. She instantly found herself staring at the coffee shop across the road, her blood boiling at the sight, because she knew exactly who was in there, and she knew exactly what she wanted to do. Before the rational part of her brain had time to kick in, Hanna found herself marching across the road and bursting through the door, the small tinkle of the bell signalling that she had entered the unusually quiet coffee shop. With only a handful of other people in the small shop, and nobody queuing, Hanna made her way straight over to the counter, instantly spotting the woman she had come to see. Riley stood to the side, laughing with some red headed girl, and it took all of Hanna's strength not to hop the counter, drag the younger woman out of the store by her hair and kick her ass in the middle of the street.

'Can I help you?' Came a male voice, pulling Hanna out of her trance. She jumped slightly, as she turned to see a young, light brown-haired man, staring at her with a far too happy smile and much too hopeful eyes.  
'Uh' she hesitated, as she looked between the man in front of her, and Riley, who was still stood at the other end of the counter, partially hidden behind a door. Hanna could tell that the younger woman was clearly flirting with the red-headed woman, and that made her even angrier. The man followed Hanna's eye line and chuckled when he realised she was looking at Riley.  
'So, you know Riley. That figures' he chuckled, though his words sounded a little disappointed. Hanna's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, because the sandy haired man sounded like this was a regular occurrence. Before she got to question him though, he was walking away.  
'Riley! I got a visitor for you' he called, leaving Hanna alone like a deer in headlights. She freezes as Riley looks up, her smile dropping instantly as she makes her way over towards the blonde.

Hanna feels her throat go suddenly dry as the brunette grows closer, and she suddenly realises that this wasn't such a good idea. It's not until Riley is up close to her, with only the counter between them, she spots the fear that lingers, hidden behind the brunette's attempt to look threatening.  
'What can I do for you, Hanna?' She asks, her voice wavering as she tries so hard to sound menacing, but her nerves failing her, and Hanna instantly settles because she knows she's got the upper hand.  
'You know, Riley, it's interesting. I was sitting in a waiting room, bored out of my skull and I thought 'Nobody's life could be as tragic as mine is right now' and then I realised that there was one person, who's way more pathetic than I'm feeling right now, and I ended up here' She spat, because her hatred for the woman in front of her was untold and something that Hanna had never before felt for another person.  
'Did you just come here to snark at me, or did you actually want something?' Riley asked, rolling her eyes as if she were bored of this conversation already.  
'Stay the hell away from Em and Ali' Hanna found herself snarling, because the mere thought of the piece of trash in front of her being anywhere near the two people she cared most about, made her feel even angrier than she already was. Riley seemed to grow two inches, and her eyes flashed dangerously as she sized Hanna up.  
'Make me' she replied, her lips popping as she spoke, and Hanna found her hands squeezing tight in an effort to not deck the girl standing in front of her. She found herself in a stare down with malicious eyes, before turning on her heels and swanning out of the coffee shop, because she knew this had been a bad idea, and she wasn't about to be the one to make things worse for her friends. She exited the coffee shop and paused outside, taking a second to compose herself before heading back to meet Emily. Her hands were shaking with rage, and her heart was racing. With a loud, angry groan, Hanna swung, punching her fist into the coffee shop's sign, which was evidently harder than it looked, because Hanna was sure she had done more damage to her hand than to the sign itself.  
'Fuck!' She growled at herself as she cradled her throbbing hand, before letting out a heavy sigh and crossing back over to the therapist's office.

Alison had finished work earlier than expected, which was typical because usually she would have loved an early finish, but today she could have done with the distraction of waiting tables and mixing drinks, if only to calm her nerves about what she would be doing later in the day. The knot in her stomach was making her feel nauseous and time seemed to be going at snail's pace. She sighed as she wiped down the counter tops, deciding that the best way to pass time, was to give Hanna's apartment a spring clean, she just hoped that the other woman wouldn't be offended when she got home to a spotless apartment. Alison was just about to tack into cleaning Hanna's oven, when the front door opened and frustrated voices wandered through, followed by a stressed looking Hanna and a pissed off looking Emily.  
'Em, would you stop? You're giving me a migraine' Hanna moaned as she threw her bag down onto the counter, neither woman noticing Alison's presence yet.  
'I get why you did it, I really do. All I'm saying is that it was a fucking stupid idea and you should have just stayed put' Emily replied, her tone laced with frustration and anxiety, and Alison instantly felt the need to make the brunette feel better.

'Hey guys' she greeted, popping up from behind the counter, where she was ducked in front of the oven, causing Hanna to scream and Emily jump at the unexpected voice.  
'Jeez, Ali! You scared the fucking shit out of me!' Hanna yelled, her hand holding her chest as she gasped for breath, her heart racing, while Emily and Alison laughed out loud at the blonde's reaction. 'It's not funny, I seriously thought my heart was going to fall out of my ass' the blonde protests, scowling at the two women in front of her, who only seem to laugh harder at her expense.  
'You know what, you two might have changed over the years, but you're both still assholes' she sulks, pouting as she walks away and head to her bedroom, slamming the door behind her, while Emily and Alison continue to laugh, tears forming in their eyes as they clutched at their stomachs.  
'She'll be ok. She's just having a rough day' Emily giggled, when Alison looked at the door, clearly wondering whether to follow the other blonde. Their laughter died down, and they both suddenly became aware that they were alone for the first time since their midnight chat a few days ago. The air seemed to change instantly, feeling heavier as they caught each other's eyes, glistening blue meeting golden brown. The silence was deafening, as neither girl really knew how to start up a conversation, or even whether to bother in the first place, and Emily was seriously considering leaving, but her feet wouldn't move for her to do so.

'So, uh, how have you been?' Emily was the first to break the awkwardness that had settled over them. Alison found herself crossing her arms across her chest, a strange vulnerability washing over her, because she really didn't know where she stood with Emily, and she really didn't know how to make things right again.  
'Good' Alison replied simply, internally cringing at the shortness of her answer, but she really didn't know what else to say, and she couldn't get her head around when the hell things got so awkward with them.  
'You've not been around much' Alison stated softly, silently praying that her simple observation didn't make Emily put her walls up and bolt. She watched anxiously as Emily stood frozen in place, her teeth worrying at the corner of her mouth, while she clearly processed what she was saying.  
'No' she breathed eventually, just when Alison was about to give up on getting a response. 'I just needed some space to clear my head' she added after a pause, her eyes coming back up to land on Alison's, and the blonde could see every ounce of vulnerability and insecurity that Emily held within her. She nodded her head understandingly, remembering Hanna's words from earlier that morning. Of course she needed space! Since Emily found out she was back, things had been more than hectic, and even Alison was having trouble keeping up with everything that had gone on, so she couldn't even imagine how Emily was feeling. She wanted to ask the brunette how her session had gone today, but she was also far too terrified to push the brunette too far in case she pushed her over the edge again. She already felt responsible for Emily going off the wagon once, she wasn't going to let it happen again.

'I get that' Alison hummed, pouting her lips slightly as she nodded her head. Emily felt breathless at the sight of the blonde, whose head was tilted downwards slightly as she looked at the floor beneath her, causing her hair to partially fall across her face. The brunette felt an overwhelming desire to reach across and just kiss the other woman, but that hadn't gone so well the last time.  
'So, what were you and Hanna arguing about when you came in? Alison asks, wanting to break the silence that had once again settled over them. She could feel Emily's eyes on her, and it was suddenly harder to breath knowing that the other woman was looking at her like that. She looked up when she heard Emily groan in response to her question, the sound causing a tingling feeling to settle in the pit of Alison's stomach.  
'Hanna got bored while she was waiting for me to finish my session today, and...' Emily started, pausing to observe Alison before she continued, because she wasn't exactly sure how the other woman would take what she was about to say. Alison raised a curious eyebrow, sensing that the brunette was about to tell her something serious, a mild panic setting over her.  
'What did she do, Em?' Alison asked after a couple of seconds, her face falling slightly when she saw Emily nervously bite her bottom lip.  
'She went and bitched out Riley' Emily finally stated, her heart racing as she waited anxiously for Alison to react. She watched as the blonde went from nervous to confused, and then straight on to pissed. It was kind of fascinating, Emily thought, being able to physically see the way someone's mind was working in relation to their emotions.

'She did what!?' Alison half yelled, causing Emily to flinch just the slightest before shaping herself up again. She didn't miss the way the other woman's eyes flashed dangerously, her jaw stiffening as she tried desperately to keep her cool.  
'I know, I already yelled at her' Emily sighed, and Alison noted how exhausted the woman sounded, and honestly, she was feeling it too. Neither of them could keep up with everything that was going on, and Hanna might have just made an already volatile situation, even more so.  
'What the fuck was she thinking?' Alison wondered aloud, her voice less shouty now, but still seriously pissed off, and Emily instantly found herself trying to ease the blonde, just like she had done time and time again, all those years ago.  
'I don't think she was thinking' Emily replied softly, her hand reaching out to rest on Alison's bicep in an effort to ground her. 'It'll be ok, Ali' she added, as her thumb began to gently brush back and forth across the tender skin of Alison's arm, causing goosebumps to appear. Alison felt herself freeze a little at this bold movement from Emily, feeling like she was watching a deer and if she moved too quickly, she would bolt. The two women found themselves once again held in a staring competition, their eyes having silent conversations with each other, as their breathing automatically began to sync. It was as though their bodies were connected and were only complete when they were together.  
'I guess' Alison finally replied, though her words were more of a mumble, because Emily's gaze was intense and it made it difficult to breathe, let alone talk.

Alison wasn't sure how long they were stood in their position for, the two women locked onto each other's eyes as though they were each reading the most interesting book. All she did know, was that when the crass sound of a loud knock on the door echoed through the apartment, she wished that she and Emily could ignore it. She wished she could just lean in and plant a kiss on those perfect lips, and take the beautiful woman in front of her to bed, and show her how much she had missed her over the years. Show her how sorry she was for everything she had put her through. Show her how, even after all these years, she was still irrevocably in love with her.  
'That's probably Spencer and Aria' she whispered, fighting everything in her that was screaming at her to just ignore it, and stay in the perfect Emily bubble that she was currently in. The moment was gone though, as Alison became filled with a sense of dread at the reminder of why Spencer and Aria were here. With another loud knock at the door, Emily pulled her hand back, while Alison let out a sigh, before heading towards the door to let the two women in, feeling strangely naked now that she wasn't under Emily's watchful eye.  
'Hey' Alison greeted softly as the two brunettes entered the apartment, both flashing the two women small smiles.

'Hey. You sure you're ready for this Ali?' Spencer asked once the door was shut and they were settled in Hanna's apartment.  
'Yeah, you don't have to do this if you're not ready. I'm sure Hanna-' Aria started to back up Spencer, only to be cut off by an anxious Alison, because she could see the pity and sympathy in their eyes and it was making her feel even worse than she already did.  
'No, I need to just get this over and done with' she stated firmly, though her stomach was in knots and her skin was clammy from her nerves, that were now overwhelming her. Emily furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, completely lost to what the other three women were talking about.  
'Wait, what's going on?' She asked anxiously, because this seemed like something big and she was very much aware of the fact that she had been left out of the loop a lot lately. She didn't blame the other women, she knew they were worried about saying or doing anything to upset her, but it still sucked to be left out. Her thoughts were confirmed when Alison, Spencer and Aria all looked between each other warily, waiting for one of them to speak up. It was Alison that took the bullet in the end.  
'I'm going to go collect my things from the apartment. Spencer and Aria are taking me' she explained cautiously, and Emily couldn't help but roll her eyes because all three women were looking at her like she was made of glass.  
'Ok, so I'll come with you' she replied, a finality to her voice that told the other three women that it wasn't a suggestion. Spencer and Aria stood in shock, while Alison seemed completely shell shocked. She opened and closed her mouth a few times as she tried to say anything, but she couldn't seem to get the words out.

'No, Em...you don't have to-' Alison tried, only to be cut off by Emily.  
'I said I'm coming' the brunette stated as she moved closer to Alison, which caught the blonde off guard even more so. Emily had spent the past four days avoiding her, and now suddenly she couldn't seem to stay away from her, and Alison wasn't sure what this meant, if in fact it meant anything at all. Emily's eyebrows furrowed slightly, concern written across her face, as she moved towards Alison, feeling those deep blue pools suck her inwards in the most intoxicating way.  
'This concerns me too' she added simply, her previously stern tone replaced with a softer, more vulnerable one that begged Alison to include her, because she was so incredibly tired of sitting back and watching everyone make things better for her. She had done a lot of thinking over the last few days, and admittedly most of that thinking regarded Alison. While she still wasn't sure how she felt or what to do about the blonde, Emily was certain that she needed to start owning her shit and sorting her own problems, instead of letting Hanna, or anyone else, fix them for her.  
'Hanna got to talk to Riley, you get to talk to Riley. Please, I need to talk to her too' her voice was little more than a whisper as she practically pleaded with Alison, who knew that she couldn't deny Emily anything. Especially not when she was looking at her like her opinion mattered. Alison brought her hand up, gingerly tucking a strand of hair behind Emily's ear as she let out a soft sigh.  
'Ok. You can come' she replied tenderly, 'I don't feel comfortable with it, but I get why you need to come' Alison added, giving Emily the smallest of smiles. She wasn't sure what had happened, but Alison could tell that something had changed with them.

After a quick explanation to Hanna about the change of plans, and the blonde expectantly kicking off about Emily going too, she decided to join them on their road trip, and so the five of them ended up going to the apartment together. Alison couldn't help but feel ridiculous that what should be a simple trip to pick up her stuff, ended up with her having a whole entourage joining her. Deep down though, she was happy that the other women all cared enough about her, and Emily, that they felt the need to tag along. She felt her stomach knot as she made her way up the stairs to her apartment, missing the way Hanna looked around the building with a look of disgust. Alison knew that it wasn't the nicest of buildings to live in, but it had been home for a long time and she was a little sad knowing that she wouldn't be coming back here again after today. She rummaged with her keys before sliding it into the lock, hesitating for a second before she turned the key and pushed the door open. Even with the other four women behind her, she didn't feel strong enough to face what she walked into. The second the door opened, she was met with the stench of weed, alcohol and she didn't even want to know what else was invading her nostrils.  
'Fuck' Hanna moaned as she pegged her nose, while Spencer and Aria politely covered their noses silently. Emily on the other hand narrowed her eyes and scrunched up her face before pushing past the other women and entering the apartment. On the way over, she had felt beyond anxious, even finding herself gripping onto Alison's hand at one point in an effort to calm herself. Now that she was here though, she was overcome with some kind of daring fearlessness that she hadn't expected.

The other four women followed her into the apartment slowly, all looking around and fully taking in the dishevelled looking apartment, that was littered with empty beer cans, vodka bottles and stubbed out cigarettes. Alison couldn't believe that Riley had managed to create such a mess in just a few days, because it certainly hadn't looked like this when she left. The five women jumped as s crash came from somewhere in the apartment, followed by a loud giggle, and Alison groaned at the sound, because she knew exactly what that meant. With a sudden flash of rage, she found herself storming across the apartment and crashing through the bedroom door. The other four girls followed, with Emily walking into Alison's back as the blonde suddenly stopped in the doorway. The brunette couldn't believe what she was seeing, the scene in front of her causing her to feel an immense amount of rage. On the bed was Riley, naked as the day she was born with a fat, balding, heavily tattooed man, the two of them surrounded by beer cans and various different substances.

'Knock much?' The younger brunette spat, her words slurring as she looked up at Alison with a look of pure hatred across her face. While Alison was angry, Emily was outright furious with the other woman for her lack of respect.  
'Get up' Emily demanded, her voice low but strong, and Alison felt a chill run up her spine because she didn't think Emily even had it in her to speak to someone like that. Riley scoffed at the other woman's demand as she zoned in on her ex-lover.  
'And you, get out before I call the cops' Spencer warned, looking at the man in disgust.  
'For what? I didn't do anything' the man protested, whilst laughing at the woman.  
'I'm a lawyer and my boyfriend is a cop. Let me assure you, that I will find something to have you arrested for' she stated, her jaw clenched as she raised a challenging eyebrow, causing the man's smirk to drop. With a gulp and a quick look to Riley, her jumped up from the bed and scurried past the five women, grabbing his clothes along the way. It wasn't very long before they heard the front door shut with a slam, and they turned their attention back to the woman on the bed.

'I said get up' Emily demanded again, her eyes narrowing as she looked Riley up and down.  
'Someone grew a backbone, or did you just become Ali's new pet project?' She drawled through her intoxication, and Emily couldn't believe that she had let this woman into her house, let alone her bed. The woman she had met that day in the coffee shop was confident and funny, and she oozed sex appeal. The woman in front of her, however, had dark rings around her eyes, stunk of booze and weed and though Alison had told her that Riley was a prostitute, Emily wasn't sure she had fully believed it until now, because the sight of seeing the brunette in the bed with a guy put a sickening feeling in her stomach.  
'You like doing that, don't you Alison?' Riley continued to taunt, turning her attention to the blonde, who had yet to say a word. 'Taking damaged people and trying to better them. Does it make you feel good? Like you've accomplished something?' She spat venomously, and Emily felt her hands beginning to shake.  
'Don't talk to her like that' she growled, causing Alison, Hanna, Spencer and Aria to all look at her in shock. Alison had been about to spout off a whole load of abuse in response to Riley, and Hanna had been preparing to jump in and rip the woman to pieces, but Emily had gotten in there before either of them could.  
'What you gonna do, Emily? You gonna go down a bottle of Vodka? I'll share mine if you like' Riley sneered, giggling at her own words. Riley's words hurt Alison more than they did Emily, the brunette too blinded by fury to let the other brunette get to her.

The four friends watched in horror as Emily walked closer to Riley, grabbing the girl by her hair and pulling her off of the bed and into a standing position. With a hard shove, Emily released the girl from her grip and pushed her away.  
'Get out' she demanded, causing Riley to let out a hysterical cackle, which only seemed to fuel the fire that was raging inside of Emily. It was as though the years of built up anger and hurt that still lingered inside of her, had decided to show up at once and Emily had more emotions running through her than she knew how to deal with.  
'And here I thought we could be friends again' Riley whined, pouting her lips in a taunting fashion, causing Emily to clench her fists, her nails digging deep into the palms of her hands. The two women stood in a stand off, Emily's furious eyes looking into Riley's malicious ones.  
'We had fun, didn't we?' Riley continued in a sing-song voice. 'I can see why you love her, Ali. She's fucking amazing in the sack' she added, turning to look at Alison with a smirk, who's own jaw was now clenched so hard, she was sure her teeth were going to break. The mere thought of Riley's hands on Emily made her sick to the stomach.  
'But, you're not too bad either, are you' Riley added again, a devilish glint in her eye as she looked from Alison to Emily. She smirked when she saw Emily's face drop slightly.

'What, she didn't tell you? We used to fuck small the time. She used to scream my name until her throat was sore and she came all over my-' Riley's taunting was cut off as Emily's fist hit her in the face with a crack. The older brunette was practically incandescent and she had officially lost control. With a deep, low growl, she three herself at Riley, knocking the still naked woman to the floor. Hot, angry tears sprung to her eyes as her fist connected with Riley's face again and the other four women watched as Emily punched over and over, both women quickly becoming covered in blood.  
'Spencer, stop her' Aria whispered in fear, because she had never seen Emily so out of control.  
'What do you want me to do, Aria?' Spencer replied in disbelief, because even she couldn't believe what she was seeing.  
'I say let her kill the bitch' Hanna mumbled as she pursed her lips and folded her arms, earning a glare from the other three women. 'What? She's a junkie whore. If you ask me, she's a waste of fucking oxygen' she huffed, choosing to ignore the other women, instead watching Emily as she growled and cried with every But, Riley's body now limp in her grip. Emily felt herself growing weaker and she was quickly running out of energy, but the fire inside of her was like an inferno and she couldn't stop.

'Emily!' the voice came from nowhere, causing Hanna, Spencer and Aria to jump and Emily to pause with her fist in the air, about to strike for the umpteenth time. Her head shot round, the fury in her eyes causing the other women to recoil slightly. Emily's chest rose and fell as she tried to catch her breath, and had it not been for the blue eyes that she locked on to, she probably would have gone right back to what she was doing before. It was the look of fear and sadness that made her stop though, and her arm suddenly felt heavy as it dropped to her side. Emily looked from Alison to Riley, the younger woman now unconscious and smothered in her own blood. Emily finally felt the fire extinguish, and with it came floods of tears, because she couldn't believe what she had done. She looked down at her blood covered hands and choked on a sob, her body frozen in place on top of the other woman.

Alison quickly crossed the room, pulling Emily off of Riley and into her arms, cradling the brunette in her lap as she sobbed into the blonde woman's chest.  
'It's ok. I've got you' she whispered lovingly against Emily's hair, her hand tenderly cradling the back of the woman's head as she rocked her side to side.  
'What did I do?' Emily sobbed, her bloodied hands gripping tightly to Alison's top, who was now looking to the other women, silently questioning what they do next. Spencer cleared her throat and blinked her own tears away, her hands fumbling with her phone as she pulled it from her pocket.  
'I'll, um- I'll call Toby' she stuttered, as she quickly hit her boyfriend's name in her phone and placed the phone to her ear, leaving the room so she could talk to him properly. Aria stared at Riley, unsure if she was looking at a dead woman or not.  
'Is she dead?' she whispered to Hanna, who still looked pissed, but was also watching the way Alison cradled Emily with nothing but love and warmth in her eyes.  
'If she knows what's good for her, she will be' Hanna replied, her eyes not leaving the two women on the floor.  
'Hanna, Em could get in a lot of trouble for this' Aria said in disbelief. She couldn't understand how the blonde was being so blasé about what had just happened. When she didn't get a response, Aria groaned and made her way over to Riley, grimacing when she saw the extent of the damage Emily had caused. She pulled her sleeve up, before reaching for the other woman's throat, feeling for a pulse. Alison and Hanna watched silently, and even Hanna was praying that the woman wasn't dead, if only for Emily's sake.


	10. Saved

_Silence hung over the room as the two blonde women watched Aria with baited breath. As much as Hanna hated Riley for what she had done, and a part of her would very much like to see her dead, she was very aware of what the consequences of that could be. The thought of Emily going to jail over this made her feel sick to the stomach. Alison on the other hand felt conflicted. Of course she didn't want Riley to die, especially not at the hands of Emily. But for her it was more than that. While she hated Riley for what she had done, she also felt the protection she had held over the girl for the past 5 years kick in, and she was sure that had she not had Emily in her arms in that moment, she would have been by Riley's side to make sure she was ok. She hated herself for it, but Alison was sure that whatever happened, she would always have that protective instinct over the other brunette._

 _'I feel a pulse' Aria's breathed in relief. 'She's in a pretty bad way though. I think we should get her to a hospital' She continued as she observed the damage caused by Emily.  
_ _'Why would we give a damn about what happens to her?' Hanna sniped, though she knew why they should do it. She knew that if the girl died then the police would come looking for Emily. She knew that it was the right thing to do regardless, she just hated the thought of helping someone who she despised so much.  
_ _'Hanna, if we don't get her help, she could die' Aria replied in disbelief, shocked that the blonde was being so heartless about this whole situation.  
_ _'What do you think?' Hanna asked, directing her question to Alison, who was still sat quietly, silently thanking God for Riley being alive while she hushed Emily's sobs. The brunette hadn't stopped crying since Alison stopped her from hitting Riley, and she had remained curled up in the blonde's arms since, her bloodied hands gripping tightly onto the other woman's shirt._

 _Alison wasn't sure what she thought because her instincts to protect Riley were battling with her instincts to protect Emily, and it was forming a small war within her. Thankfully she didn't have to answer, because at that moment Spencer entered the room again.  
_ _'Toby's on his way. He won't be long' she informed everyone, having calmed significantly. Her lawyer instincts began to kick in and she mentally formed a plan.  
_ _'Is she alive?' she asked, nodding her head in Riley's direction, nodding when Aria nodded in reply.  
_ _'Right, that's good. We have to get her to a hospital, get her checked out. Toby and I will deal with that. In the mean time, you guys need to clear this place' she informed them. 'Hanna, Aria, can you do that? I don't think those two are up for it' she added, looking back at Emily and Alison with a mixed look of concern and fear. The blonde wondered why Spencer was looking at her like she was made of paper. It was then she felt the tears that were flowing down her own face and realised that her heart was racing. She realised that she must look as scared as she was feeling inside._

 _With silent nods of their heads and a quick glance back at the other two women on the floor, Hanna and Aria got to work tidying the apartment, starting with all the beer cans and empty alcohol bottles, and the drug paraphernalia. Spencer turned to Alison and Emily, hesitating before crouching down in front of the blonde and placing a caring hand on Emily's back, the brunette still shaking in Alison's arms.  
_ _'Are you ok, Ali?' she asked, wanting to check in with the blonde. When Alison's scared blue eyes met hers, Spencer felt her heart break a little at the amount of fear and confliction that lay beneath them.  
_ _'I'm ok' Alison replied with a small sniff as she wiped away her tears from her cheeks. 'What can I do? Give me something to do' she practically begged, because she couldn't stand the thought of sitting back and letting her mind run havoc. Spencer let out a sigh in response as she fought back the attempt to argue with the blonde and tell her to stay put. She didn't want Alison or Emily to be put under any additional stress, but she also knew that the blonde wasn't going to back down on this.  
_ _'I was going to clean Em up, but I guess you could do that?' she questioned, unsure whether that was something either Emily or Alison would feel comfortable with. The blonde responded with a shaky 'Ok' and a small nod of the head, before looking down at the woman in her arms. She tenderly brushed brunette hair out of Emily's face and peered down to look into her eyes._

 _'Come on, babe. Let's get you cleaned up' she whispered through fresh tears, not even mentally scolding herself for the accidental slip up, because seeing Emily this broken right now was the worst thing ever and she needed to make it right. With Spencer's help, Alison managed to get Emily off of the ground and into the bathroom, sitting her on the closed toilet lid. The brunette was no longer crying anymore, but she had a dead look behind the eyes that made Alison feel uneasy. She grabbed for some wash cloths and soap, wanting to make this as easy for the both of them as possible, but she quickly realised that there was simply too much blood for them to clean off. With a small sigh, Alison hit the button for the shower and turned to Emily.  
_ _'Em? Babe?' she called twice, wanting the other woman to look at her, but the brunette remained transfixed on the tile floor as though it were the most interesting thing in the world. She moved closer to Emily and crouched in front of her, before delicately tilting the woman's head so they were looking eye to eye._

 _'You need to shower. Do you need help?' she asked after a seconds silence. With a long pause, in which Alison didn't think that Emily was going to answer her at all, the brunette finally opened her mouth, a fresh set of tears coming along with her words.  
_ _'I'm so sorry, Ali' her words were barely more than a whisper and her voice cracked as she spoke, causing more tears to spring in Alison's eyes. She hushed the brunette and reached up to wipe away her tears, her own free falling down her own cheeks.  
_ _'Don't. Don't apologise' she managed to reply in a foggy, tearful voice as she sniffed back her tears as much as she could. 'Let's get you cleaned up' she added with her best attempt at a smile, before standing again, pulling Emily with her._

 _With slight hesitation, she reached down to pull off Emily's t-shirt, trying her best to avoid her eyes from wandering because she hadn't seen Emily's body since they were fifteen years old, and the tanned woman had developed and changed and Alison was more than a little curious about what lay beneath the clothes. However, she was aware that this wasn't the time to be leering over her ex-lover, so she averted her eyes the best she could whilst she helped Emily to undress and then led the naked woman into the shower._  
 _'Do you want me to close the door?' She asked, once the brunette was stood beneath the steady stream of water. Emily looked at her for a moment before shaking her head. She wasn't sure what she wanted, all she knew was that Alison was making this all that bit easier, and she didn't want the blonde to leave her because she was scared about what she might do if Alison wasn't here with her._  
 _'Ok' Alison replied quietly, her eyes searching Emily's in an attempt to read at least a little of what was going on in the other woman's head._

 _When Emily didn't move, Alison let out a small sigh before she leaned into the shower. She soaped up her loofah and began to gently rub it against Emily's arms and shoulders, before bringing it down to the first hand. Emily watched wordlessly as Alison scrubbed at her nails with the pink material, washing away the semi-dried blood that was stuck to her cuticles. She felt as though she had no control of her body, as Alison's hands glided across her skin, washing her tenderly. Her body obliged to every silent request from Alison, moving her arm when she felt a gentle tug on her hand, turning when she felt a gentle pull at her hip. Her eyes fluttered closed when she felt Alison's hands in her hair, soaped up in shampoo and her fingers massaged at her scalp. It was as though Alison was taking away all of the pain and hurt and badness that she felt inside of her, and it felt good. It was familiar and it felt nicer than anything Emily had felt in a long time._  
 _'Ok, you're done' she heard Alison's voice as she felt herself being turned around again. 'Let's get you dressed. I got some clothes from my closet for you' she informed Emily, because she wasn't really sure what to say, but the silence was deafening._  
 _'Thank you' Emily managed to reply, her expression remaining neutral._

It had been two days since the incident with Riley, and it was safe to say that all five women were still a little on edge, Emily more so than anyone. Hanna, Aria and Spencer were trying to make life as normal as possible, while Emily had hidden herself away in her apartment. Alison spent those two days worrying and fretting. Worrying about Emily, worrying about Riley and worrying about herself, because she couldn't stop dwelling on what happened with Emily and Riley. She had never thought it possible for Emily to lose control in such a way and if she was being honest with herself, it scared her a little to have seen the brunette act the way she did. She wasn't sure what to make of it, because Emily was always so passive, and she knew that the brunette could never hurt her, but at the same time, she couldn't forget how angry Emily looked in that moment. It was all too reminiscent of the look her Dad used to have, and Alison had to keep reminding herself that Emily wasn't like him.

Alison ruffled her hair with the towel, giving it a rough dry, before flicking her blonde locks back. She sighed as she took a look at herself in the mirror, taking in the sight of the bags that settled beneath her eyes due to her lack of sleep over the past few days. She thought about how she looked all those years ago, her skin glowing and her eyes sparkling, her make up always perfectly applied to her face. Now, her skin looked pasty and make up free, her eyes dark and sunken in and her lips were chapped from her teeth anxiously chewing at them.  
'God, I need to get myself together' she mumbled to herself, before she turned away from the mirror and exited the bathroom. She made her way into the kitchen, smiling when she saw Hanna humming away to herself as she clicked the mousepad on her laptop.

'What you doing?' Alison asked as she made her way over to the table, sliding into a seat beside the other blonde.  
'Uh, just looking through some old pictures that I took of Em. I need something for my blog, but obviously we've not had the chance to take anything new, so...' She trailed off in response, as she flicked through the pictures, tilting her head and narrowing her eyes at each picture. Alison found herself enchanted by the pictures, some of them clearly posed for and others that were more natural. She knew that Emily was beautiful and god did she love the other woman, but seeing her in these pictures, each edited and altered to enhance her already flattering features, made Alison realise just how stunning the other woman really was.  
'She models for your blog?' Alison asked, her throat feeling suddenly dry as she studied each picture individually. Taking in the sparkle in her brown eyes, the dimple that formed in her cheek when she smiled and the cheeky grin that had made her melt so many times before.  
'Yeah, I talked her into it years ago because I wanted a way to get my designs out there. She ended up loving it, and we've been doing it together ever since' Hanna explained with a small smile as she reminisced over those first few years living in the city. Sure, they had their hard times and Emily was still struggling with her issues, but they had fun and she missed that. She wanted her care free friend back again.

'She looks so happy in this picture' Alison stated with a smile, as she took in the sight of Emily lying on a bed, the picture zoomed into a close up shot of her laughing, her head tilted back into the bedding beneath her.  
'Yeah, that was taken not so long ago' Hanna replied with a smile. 'It was the happiest I'd seen her for a while. Things started going downhill around that time' she explained sadly. She thought about the brunette, who was still refusing to leave her apartment and had hardly said two words since that night. Hanna had checked in on her several times, bringing her food a few times a day, though it mostly went untouched. Alison bit down on her bottom lip as she took in Hanna's words, her eyes trained on the picture on the laptop screen. She wondered how someone so incredibly beautiful and filled with so much kindness and warmth, could possibly be so scary and so aggressive.  
'Hanna' she breathed, her eyes narrowed as the thoughts swirled around her mind. 'Do you think... The other night... Has Emily ever acted like that before?' She asked, changing her question several times, because she wasn't entirely sure what she should be asking.  
'No' Hanna replied instantly, shaking her head subtly as she considered what Alison was asking her. She looked over at the other woman and could see that she was clearly feeling something that she was afraid of saying out loud.

'What's on your mind?' Hanna asked bluntly, not wanting to play guessing games.  
'I just... I guess last night just scared me a little' Alison admitted timidly. She wasn't one to open up about feeling scared, it was the reason she had never told the girls about her Dad all those years ago, but she figured that honesty was really in her best interests right now because she needed some form if clarity amongst the chaos that was her mind.  
'What did? Emily?' Hanna asked, before reaching across to take one of Alison's hands in her own.  
'Ali, you know that Em isn't usually like that, right? She's not a violent person' Hanna added, wanting to both protect Emily and help stop the blonde from worrying so much.  
'I know. That's what makes me so worried about her though' Alison replied with a sigh, because she wasn't sure if she was more scared of the way Emily acted, or worried for her. 'I know that Riley pushed a nerve, but I never expected Emily to react like that' she added softly as she looked down at their clasped hands, causing Hanna to give her a small squeeze.  
'She did it for you, Ali. Sure, maybe her anger kept her going, but that first hit was for you. Surely you must know that?' the other woman replied. Alison felt like a wave of realisation had washed over her, because no, she hadn't realised that.

'What makes you so sure?' She asked, because she herself had no idea what was going on. Emily had spent days avoiding her, only to flirt with her like crazy, and now she had spent another two days hidden away. Alison was beginning to feel dizzy trying to keep up with the brunette woman.  
'Seriously?' Hanna smirked, letting out a breathy chuckle. 'Ali, she's always loved you. Even when she hated you for leaving her, it was because she loved you so much, and sure maybe she's having a bit of difficulty trying to get her head around it since you came back, but the feelings are there' she explained with a soft smile.  
'Besides, you've been back in her life for what, almost two weeks? And she hasn't once even looked at another girl. If that doesn't say she loves you, then I don't know what does' she added with a smug look that made Alison roll her eyes, because she had heard about Emily's tendency to fill her bed with hot blondes, but she hadn't really noticed that Emily hadn't had any 'visitors' since she came back.

'Anyway, I'm going to leave you to ponder on that, while I go argue with our favourite brunette and try to get her ass in the shower' Hanna stated as she softly slapped her hand on the table and went to stand up. Alison looked up, gripping Hanna's wrist to stop the blonde's movements.  
'Do you mind if I go check on her?' Alison asked timidly, because she knew how protective Hanna was of Emily, and a part of her was still screaming at her that she was not worthy of being in the brunette's presence and that part of her was still waiting for Hanna to tell her as much. 'I mean, you've done your share of looking after her. Let me take over for a while' she added, feeling the need to explain herself, causing Hanna to smirk at the other blonde's awkwardness.  
'Sure, knock yourself out. I could use a break' Hanna chuckled in amusement. 'Besides, you might have more luck getting her to eat than I do, she could never say no to you' she adds, her tone full of warmth and endearment, causing Alison to blush slightly.

Emily lay on the couch, her head propped up under a mountain of cushions, as she stared blankly at the tv screen. She had pretty much been in this position for the past two days, only finding herself moving in order to use the bathroom. Other than that, she hadn't eaten, hadn't showered and had barely slept, unable to get the images of that night out of her head and the hatred she felt for herself for what she had done to that other woman. She hated herself even more, because she knew that if she was put in that position again, she would do the same thing a thousand times over in order to protect Alison. It hadn't gone unnoticed to her though, that Alison hadn't visited her since they got home. Aria and Spencer had popped in, Hanna was constantly checking up on her, hell even Toby had come to see how she was doing, yet Alison had stayed away and Emily thought that was the thing that hurt the most, especially after the blonde had taken such care of her that night, while Spencer dealt with the ins and outs.

 _Emily sat muted on the couch, a state of shock overwhelming her as she numbly watched the people around her. The group were talking amongst themselves, though their words fell upon Emily's deaf ears. She felt as though she was floating, the only thing anchoring her into reality, being Alison's arm that was firmly wrapped around her, while the other woman's thumb brushed tenderly up and down her side. Emily had long ago melted into the blonde woman's touch, too exhausted to fight the familiar comfort of the woman who would always hold her heart. Everything else around her was a blur. She didn't notice the subtle looks from Aria and Hanna, or the way Alison chewed on her bottom lip anxiously. She didn't even notice when Spencer and Toby finally came back to Hanna's apartment, after being gone for hours._

 _'So?' Hanna jumped up from her chair the instant the couple walked through the door._  
 _'So, it looked worse than it was' Spencer replied with an exhausted sigh, as she lay her jacket over the back of Hanna's couch, silently glancing to Emily and Alison on the other couch before she continued. 'She had a broken nose, but there was no other damage thank fully. She lost a lot of blood, but the doctor says she'll be ok and they've released her' she explained as she leaned against the back of the couch that Aria was still sat on._  
 _'That's good' the shorter brunette breathed, while Hanna rolled her eyes in frustration._  
 _'Yeah, I couldn't care less about Single White Female's medical records, I just want to know if she's going to the cops about this and who do you recommend to be Em's lawyer, because I swear to god Spencer, I am not letting her-' Hanna ranted, pointing to Emily before she was cut off._  
 _'Jesus Hanna, would you stop and breathe before you pass out!' Spencer raised her voice, stopping the blonde woman mid-rant. 'Ok, Riley is not pressing charges and she will not be a problem any more. Emily isn't going to jail over this, ok? You can relax' she stated in a soft, but firm voice, wanting to stop the other women from panicking any longer. It seemed to work, because Hanna snapped her mouth shut at these words and seemed to contemplate what Spencer was saying to them._

 _'What do you mean she won't be a problem anymore?' Alison asked from across the room, her voice soft and husky, and it made Hanna and Aria jump a little because the blonde had barely said a word since they got back to Hanna's apartment. Instead, she had sat in silence, with Emily by her side, while Aria and Hanna fretted about what would happen next._  
 _'Uh, when we were on our way to the hospital, we gave Riley a choice' Spencer started to explain, looking to Alison with caution, because she truly didn't know where the blonde's head was at. She knew the dynamic of the relationship that Ali had with Riley. The revelation that they had been more than just roommates only added to Spencer's worries, because clearly Alison cared about this woman at some point, and the brunette knew that those feelings didn't just go away, regardless to what the other person has done._  
 _'Wait, what offer?' Hanna asked, her head tilted to the side and her eyes narrowed curiously._  
 _'Well, on the way to the hospital, we gave Riley a choice. If she doesn't press charges against Emily and stays away for good, we'll get her the help she needs, get her away from here and away from that Jeff guy' Toby spoke up as he leaned against the wall beside the couch. 'Or, we arrest her on charges of soliciting and drug offences' He added casually, while Spencer cautiously eyed Alison._

 _'She chose the first option, so after she was cleared by the hospital, we took her out of town, gave her some money and left her at a motel' the brunette explained quietly. 'She's safe, and she'll be ok' she added, wanting to give Alison peace of mind that they had taken the very best care of the younger woman. Their eyes met for a second, and Spencer could see the relief that filled them. The brunette had been wondering whether she had made the right decision to take such good care of Riley, but in that moment, she knew it was the right thing to do._  
 _'Oh, who the hell here cares whether or not she's ok?' Hanna scoffed, folding her arms across her chest, causing Spencer to glare at her._  
 _'You might have the compassion of freaking middle eastern dictator, Hanna, but I think you're forgetting that there's two people in this room that actually cared about Riley before all this mess started' the brunette replied, her eyes boring into the blonde woman, because Hanna was being far too insensitive right now and Spencer could see how much Alison and Emily were both clearly hurting._  
 _'Seriously? Because they both fucked little orphan Annie, automatically they're supposed to give a damn?' Hanna replied, raising an eyebrow as her attitude grew fiercer. Her hatred for Riley was becoming mixed with her instinct to protect Emily, and the line was now so blurred, she wasn't sure where she was at anymore._  
 _'Look at them, Hanna! Look at Emily, do you see her right now?' Spencer raised her voice more, and now the two women were full on shouting at each other, as Spencer pointed in the direction of the two women practically cowering on the couch. 'And look at Ali, really look at her. Does that look like someone who doesn't give a damn!? They're both terrified and confused, and they're both hurting because of what happened tonight, so shut your damn mouth and keep your opinions to yourself for five minutes. They don't need to hear them, and neither do I!' The brunette yelled, leaving Hanna open mouthed and wordless as she blinked aimlessly._

 _'I- I'm sorry' she muttered, turning to face Alison and Emily, the silence deafening the room._  
 _'Guys, I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have... '_  
 _'It's fine, Hanna. Just, please. It's been a long night' Alison replied softly, giving Hanna a small smile to show that she wasn't angry, she was just exhausted. They all were, Emily especially, and right now, all Alison wanted to do was lie down on the couch with the brunette, hold her close and sleep the night away._  
 _'Yeah, we're beat too' Toby agreed, though he had admittedly, had a much easier night than the five women in front of him._  
 _'Will you be ok if we go?' Spencer asked uneasily, looking mostly to Alison and Emily for confirmation._  
 _'I can stay if you want me to' Aria offered softly, her lips curving into the smallest of smiles. Hanna looked towards Alison, their eyes meeting as she silently asked the other woman if she would be ok._  
 _'It's up to you' Hanna stated sincerely, because she knew she had already majorly fucked up tonight, and she wasn't about to do it again._  
 _'I think we'll be fine' Alison replied, looking from Hanna to Aria, and finally down to Emily, who was still wrapped firmly in her arm and was still yet to say a word. The brunette was frozen in place on the couch, her elbows pressed into her knee, while her chin rested on her hand, her fingers curling up over her mouth as though she were in serious thought, and Alison wished she knew what was going on in that gorgeous head of hers._

Emily had spent the last two days thinking about how good it felt to feel Alison's arm around her. How she had wanted so badly to ask the blonde to hold her all night long, but was too fried to open her mouth. Instead, she found herself being led to Hanna's bed, where the blonde lay beside her, though it wasn't the blonde that Emily wanted. The next day, Emily had come back to her own apartment, and she had remained there since. Alison hadn't checked in once, and while Emily desperately wanted to know why, she couldn't bring herself to ask Hanna, who was visiting practically on the hour, every hour. It was for this reason that Emily didn't take her eyes off of the TV screen when she heard her apartment door open, assuming that just like every other time before that, it was Hanna, coming to attempt to force her to eat or drag her into the shower.  
'Hey, you' Alison's voice came from the entrance to the apartment, and Emily almost jumped out of her skin at the unexpected visitor.  
'Uh, hey' she replied roughly, sitting herself up on the couch to look at the other woman, mentally wishing that she had listened to Hanna a few hours before and actually gotten her ass into the shower, though Alison didn't seem to notice, nor care that her hair was greasy as fuck and she looked a total wreck.  
'Can I...?' Alison asked, gesturing towards the couch that Emily was still sprawled across, causing the brunette to straighten up even more, her eyes still widened in shock.  
'Uhm, yeah! Yeah, sorry. Sit down' she almost shouted her reply, causing Alison to chuckle lightly at the brunette's obvious nervousness. She twisted herself to sit on the couch, while Alison perched herself on the end, and patiently waited to see if the blonde woman was going to talk again.

'So...' Alison sighed. 'How are you holding up?' She asked, her eyes studying Emily intensely, mentally noting the dark rings that sat beneath her eyes, her usually glowing skin was dry and her hair pulled into a messy bun. Emily wanted to say she was ok and she almost did, not wanting to have this inevitable conversation, but she knew that Alison could read her like a book, and ultimately lying wouldn't stop the guilt and hatred she was currently feeling for herself. The problem was, she didn't have the words to say to Alison. She didn't know what the blonde wanted to hear from her in that particular moment, and so she let out a deep sigh and simply shrugged her shoulders, catching the other woman's eyes for a second before pouting slightly and looking down at her fingers.  
'You probably hate me for what I did, and I don't blame you. I hate me too' she eventually said in the most vulnerable and timid voice Alison had ever heard from her. The blonde woman's brow scrunched in confusion, because she could understand why on earth she would possibly hate Emily for what happened that night.  
'I don't hate you. Why would I?' she asked, her voice soft and warm in a way that Emily didn't feel she deserved.  
'Because of what I did' she replied almost instantly, her eyes widening as her mind was filled with images of what she had done to Riley. 'Ali, I can't apologise enough for behaving like that. It was wrong and I won't ever let it happen again. I'm sorry' she rambled, unable to put straight everything she wanted to say to Alison.

'Em, hating yourself and apologising isn't going to make this better. You need to move on from this. Stop letting it eat you up, it's not healthy' Alison replied softly, shuffling along the couch to get closer to the brunette, before taking both the other woman's hands into her own.  
'I want to...It's just hard' Emily replied, her voice barely a whisper as she spoke. 'Everytime I close me eyes, I see what I did to her. How could I do that to another person, Ali?' She asked, looking up into Alison's eyes as if they held all the answers. She shook her head softly and let out a low, humourless chuckle. 'After everything...everything you went through with your Dad, I don't know how you can even look at me right now, when I'm just as bad as he is' she finished, her tone full of self-hatred and Alison could see it reflected in the woman's eyes. She was sure that that look was the most painful to see on Emily's face, because the thought of the brunette hating herself was incomprehensible.  
'Don't say that' she breathed sadly. 'You're nothing like him, ok?'

Emily rolled her eyes at these words, tears flooding brown orbs as she mentally disputed everything that Alison was saying to her.  
'How am I not like him?' She asked bitterly. 'I'm barely getting by without drinking, and I almost beat a girl to death' she added, and Alison could feel her own tears springing at Emily's words, because she couldn't understand how someone so incredibly pure, could be so loathsome of themselves and so broken by the world. Alison leaned in and delicately cupped the brunette's cheek, tilting her head to force her to look at her.  
'The difference is, Em, is that you feel bad about what you did, even though you did it for all of the right reasons. My Dad never felt an ounce of guilt for what he put me through over the years' Alison explained with a soft kind of firmness to her voice, because she wanted Emily to really hear what she was saying. 'You're not a bad person, Emily. You're so good...God, I can't even put into words how good you are. You might have lost your way a little, but that person is still inside of you. The Emily Fields that I love and cherish, is still inside of you' she finished, the last words slipping out like word vomit, but Alison didn't care because she meant them and all she wanted was to have her Emily back. She wanted the happy, funny, flirty Emily that she knew and loved, who had briefly made an appearance only two days ago before they confronted Riley. Alison hesitated, her mind going a million miles an hour, as she looked deep into Emily's eyes, searching for that woman, and she saw her. Sure, she was hidden, buried amongst the mess that was trapped on the surface, but she was there, shining dully in the background. It was enough of a sign for Alison to know that she hadn't completely lost the woman she loved, not yet anyway.

'Ali' Emily breathed, feeling breathless under the intensity of Alison's eyes, because she really didn't know what this meant. A week ago, Alison was saying they should just be friends, but then after the mess two days ago, the blonde took care of her in a way that was reserved especially for those that you loved. Emily then spent two whole days without so much as a text from the other woman, only for Alison to arrive, just when Emily was feeling that all hope was lost, and act like she was the only woman in the world for her. It was confusing, for both women, and Alison was aware of that, but she was ready to put an end to it. She just hoped that Emily was ready too. Her eyes flickered from Emily's eyes to her lips, before she found herself leaning in. The second their lips touched, it was like nothing mattered in the world. All the pain that both women had been feeling dissipated, and everything they had been through seemed like a lifetime ago. Emily's hands reached up, landing to rest against her neck as she melted into the kiss, a small sob escaping her lips as they parted ever so slightly.  
'Are you ok?' Alison asked, her lips grazing Emily's as they remained closer than close, and Emily felt her stomach knot at the feeling of Alison's breath on her mouth.  
'I don't know what I'm feeling right now' Emily whispered, her brow furrowing as she tried to get her head around what she was feeling, but all she could focus on was how incredibly good it felt.

'Ali, I'm confused...what does this-?'  
'I don't know' Alison interrupted Emily, before she could think too much into things in the way that only Emily Fields could. She sighed heavily, biting down on her bottom lip as she backed away a little to look into the other woman's eyes again.  
'All I know, is that all these years, I never stopped loving you and my biggest regret is leaving you all those years ago' she said honestly.  
'How cab you love me, Ali? You don't even know who I am anymore' Emily replied sadly, shaking her head in disbelief, because she had dreamed this very scenario for years, but it had always been just that. A dream. Alison pouted her lips a little at the other woman's words, before giving her a quick, small smile.  
'We've both changed over the years, that's true, but I've always known who you are' she replied lovingly. 'Other people might look at you and see this mature, grown woman, but to me you'll always be the Emily that stole my heart at fourteen, and held onto it for dear life' she added, smiling when she saw the tiniest hint of a smile grace the other woman's face.

'I- I don't know what to say' Emily breathed out through a disbelieving chuckle, shaking her head as she looked down at their entwined hands. She never thought that she would ever even see Alison, let alone be given a second chance at things.  
'You don't have to say anything. Not right now, anyway' the blonde replied softly.  
'There is one thing you do need to do, though' she added, her voice more serious than before, causing Emily to look up anxiously as though she were waiting for the other shoe to drop.  
'What's that?'  
'Go take a shower' Alison laughed, her eyes dancing with happiness at having a glimpse of her old Emily back. The brunette let out a curt laugh, her mouth hanging wide in mock offense, though her eyes widened in realisation that she wasn't the cleanest of humans right now.  
'That bad?' she asked with a grimace, causing Alison to laugh again and nod.  
'Mhm' she hummed, pulling a face of mock disgust. 'You're disgusting. Seriously, I can't believe I even kisses You. When was the last time you brushed your teeth?' Alison asked playfully, causing Emily to roll her eyes and smile.

'Yeah... Sorry about that' she apologised shyly, internally chastising herself because she didn't want Alison to remember their first kiss being one where she was dirty and had bad breath. Alison smiled the most warm, loving smile that Emily had seen in the longest of times, and found her own matching it. She didn't ever want to stop looking at the woman in front of her, too afraid that if she looked away, she'd be gone. As if she could read her mind, Alison rolled her eyes and leaned in to give her a small peck on the lips.  
'I'm not going anywhere this time. You don't need to worry' she promised, loving the way she could slowly see Emily's eyes come back to life.  
'Go! Go shower' she chuckled, when she found themselves getting lost in each other again, causing Emily to roll her eyes and lift herself from the couch. Alison couldn't keep the smile off of her face, as she watched the brunette walk to the door across the apartment, not taking her eyes away until the door finally closed. She hummed a small sigh as she finally pulled her gaze away, biting down on her lower lip as she let the realisation of how happy she felt wash over her. Sure, they had a long way to go, and Alison was sure that things weren't going to be easy, but she was finally getting her girl back. She knew that they both had a lot to work through, and she was sure that they would probably have their ups and downs along the way, but Alison was determined to do everything to show Emily just what she meant to her.


	11. You Found Me

The hot water rained down on her body as the steam rose, and Emily relished the feeling of the dirt washing away from her skin as she rinsed the shampoo suds out of her hair. She had been in the shower for a little over five minutes already, allowing herself to take her time as her mind filled with thoughts of the blonde woman on the other side of the door. Her perfectly pillowed lips parting as they kissed, and the way it had made her body react, as though she had been brought back to life again. The world suddenly seemed brighter, her skin more receptive to touch, her ears able to hear just that little clearer than before, and she could still almost taste Alison on her lips. Feel the way the other woman hummed into her mouth as they kissed, and Emily couldn't wait to feel it again. It was almost addictive, and Emily seriously wondered for a second whether she was addicted, after all she was addicted to alcohol, why not Alison? Still, she figured that if Alison was a new-found addiction, she would happily indulge in it.

Alison hummed to herself happily as she cracked two eggs into a bowl and began to whisk them rapidly, her mind filled with thoughts of Emily. After almost two weeks of awkwardness between them, things seemed to finally be feeling better, and they had seemingly found a sense of comfortableness around each other. Alison felt lighter than ever, knowing that she was beginning to see a flicker of the old Emily returning, but she found herself constantly having to remind herself that things were not 'fixed', so to speak, with the brunette. Emily still had a lot of issues to work through, in fact they both did, and so Alison knew that she couldn't rush things with the other woman, no matter how much she might want to. She poured some cream into the eggs, looking up when she heard the bathroom door open, to reveal a now freshly clean Emily, her hair tousled in damp curls down her back as she crossed the apartment.

'How does it feel to be clean again?' Alison asked with a lopsided smile, as she looked back down at the bowl in front of her as she folded the cream into the eggs.  
'It feels good' Emily admitted with a chuckle as she leaned into the counter beside Alison, looking down with interest as she watched the other woman's actions.  
'I didn't know you could cook' Emily added, slightly impressed that the blonde had accomplished something that she had yet to master, much to her Mother's dismay.  
'Of course I can cook, how else do you think I feed myself?' Alison replied with a light chuckle. Over the past two weeks, she had seen first-hand how Emily and Hanna survived, and she had found herself wondering time and time again, how they had made it to adulthood, eating the crap that they fed their bodies.  
'Take out' Emily replied as though it were obvious, causing Alison to roll her eyes. She had let Hanna arrange dinner for them exactly twice, before she had intervened and forced the other blonde to let her cook something, because greasy Chinese food was not her idea of good food, at least not every night anyway.  
'You and Hanna might have the metabolisms of ten-year-olds, and stomachs like cesspools, but we're not all that fortunate' Alison remarked in amusement, catching the sheepish look that crossed Emily's face. Alison turned to grab a pan from the mount on the wall and placed it on the stove, turning on the hob as she added a small amount of oil and began to heat it.

'You don't have any allergies or anything that I forgot about, right?' Alison asked suddenly, realising that she had begun to make Emily's favourite, or at least what used to be her favourite, without first checking that nothing had changed with her dietary needs over the years.  
'Nope' Emily confirmed with a small smile.  
'Didn't suddenly turn vegan?' Alison joked, because judging by the amount of Chicken Chow Mein she and Hanna ate, she definitely wasn't vegan.  
'No' Emily laughed, and Alison almost lit up at the sight of the brunette laughing and letting loose. It was the most relaxed she had been in the past two weeks, and it was so refreshing to see. Emily felt a warm feeling settle in her stomach as she watched Alison begin to cook the scrambled eggs.  
'You remembered my favourite' she almost whispered, a smile plastered to her face at the thought.  
'How could I forget?' Alison replied, just as softly as she kept her eyes focused on the eggs in the pan, though she could feel Emily's brown eyes locked onto her and it was taking everything to not look back. Emily watched in silence, as Alison continued to cook the eggs, adding salt and pepper, before plating them alongside some toast. Emily took her plate with a smile and a small 'thanks' before heading to the table, where Alison sat opposite, nursing a mug of coffee.  
'You're not eating?' Emily asked curiously, as she grabbed her knife and fork, suddenly starving.  
'No, I'm not hungry' Alison replied with a small shake of her head and a smile.  
'But then why...' Emily began to ask why Alison had cooked solely for her, but trailed off knowingly when she spotted the sheepish look on the other woman's face.  
'Hanna told you to get me to eat' Emily breathed, sticking her tongue into her cheek as she looked from Alison to the eggs and back again. 'It's a good thing I'm hungry, or I'd be pissed at you and Hanna for interfering' she stated, before tucking into the scrambled eggs on toast.

The two women sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, as Alison watched Emily devour her food, making small moans of pleasure every so often, which the blonde found uncomfortably arousing.  
'This is so good' Emily moaned, as she shovelled a forkful of eggs and toast into her mouth, while Alison watched with a raised eyebrow, because she wasn't sure she had ever seen someone eat scrambled eggs so enthusiastically before.  
'You know, you should be careful, I might get used to you cooking for me' Emily added, causing Alison to roll her eyes and smile shyly.  
'Well, if it gets you eating proper food, then I'll happily cook for you' she added playfully. The whole situation felt strangely domestic, and Alison liked it. It felt right, natural almost, and Alison was sure that it was something she wanted more of.  
'So I was thinking-' Emily started, placing her knife and fork down onto her now empty plate.  
'Uh-oh...should I be worried?' Alison asked with a playful tone, her eyebrow raising curiously.  
'No' Emily replied simply, rolling her eyes as though she were pissed off, but her subtle smile gave her away.

'I was thinking about how there's a lot that we don't know about each other now, I mean, we've both changed a lot over the years, and...I'd like to get to know you again. I want to know everything about you' she finished softly, with nothing but warmth and love in her eyes. Alison wanted to melt at the sight of it, because Emily looked so vulnerable, rather than the broken vulnerability Alison had become accustomed to as of late, and it was so reminiscent of the teenager she had fallen in love with all those years ago. That shy, adorkable girl that Alison had admired so much, and had wanted to spend the rest of her life with, was flickering back slowly, and Alison could feel herself freefalling, and her heart opening back up like a blossoming flower.  
'I think that sounds like a great idea' Alison replied, her smile growing at the thought of spending more time with Emily, because she was quickly finding that this was her favourite thing to do. Spending time with the version of Emily that she had in front of her, and just hanging out in a comfortable environment. It was relaxed and stress-free, and was everything that they both needed after the dramatic few weeks they had had.

'You do?' Emily asked, a tone of surprise in her voice, as though she hadn't expected Alison to agree with her.  
'Yeah, I'd love to get to know you again' Alison replied with a chuckle, because she couldn't get over how adorable Emily was being, treading carefully over every word and action, while Alison seemed to be smashing in like a bulldozer. It was one of the many things that seemed to have changed with them. Back in High School, it had been Emily who was the instigator, the 'bull dozer' so to speak, while Alison had been more reserved when it came to their relationship, not knowing what to say or do, and finding herself constantly flustered by Emily's brazen advances. It seemed now though, the tables had turned.  
'Well, you already know about me...' Emily stated, pointing out that Alison seemed to know a lot more about her life, than she did about the blonde's.  
'No, not really. I mean, I don't know about your work, or your hobbies, or anything like that' Alison countered, because other than Emily's struggles with alcohol and her tendency to sleep around a bit, she didn't really know anything about the brunette's life.  
'Ok, Well, I'll show you mine if you show me yours' Emily replied cheekily, causing Alison to smirk and roll her eyes at the cheesy line.  
'Well, one thing hasn't changed anyway' she stated as she sipped her coffee.  
'What's that?'  
'You're still about as smooth as a porcupine' Alison stated in a serious voice, causing Emily to let out a single, airy laugh.

Emily was about to argue, when her apartment door flew open, causing the two women to turn and look as Hanna walked in, peeking through her fingers.  
'I'm not interrupting anything, am I?' She asked warily, as she froze in the door way, her hands still firmly placed over her eyes.  
'No' Emily replied with a chuckle, while Alison smirked at the blonde's insinuation.  
'Wow, she talks' Hanna quipped, as she pulled her hands away from her eyes and kicked the door shut with her foot, before making her way across to the table.  
'Yup, and if that's the mood you're in, you can walk your ass right back out of my apartment' Emily replied in frustration, because Hanna had been overly pushy about her not wanting to talk, eat, shower, whatever, and the fact that she had resorted to sending Alison down to get her to do so was a low blow, even if Emily had enjoyed the other blonde's company.  
'Ok, chill out Lucy, Lui' Hanna quipped, causing Alison to scrunch her face up at the comment.  
'That's not racist at all' Alison stated sarcastically.  
'Whatever, Runaway Barbie' Hanna replied breezily, causing Emily to chuckle and Alison to look even more offended. 'I have something I need to tell you guys' Hanna blurted, not wanting to get into the conversation of what is and isn't appropriate to say.  
'Ok, ok, don't have a coronary' Emily replied, rolling her eyes, because she knew that when Hanna was on a mission to say something, she would practically explode trying to hold it in.

'I'm sorry, it's just...' Hanna started to explain, wringing her fingers nervously as her words calmed significantly, and Alison and Emily became a little worried by her sudden change in demeanour.  
'What is it, Han?' Alison asked warily, worried that there was more bad news about to come their way.  
'Caleb wants to take me away for a few days, and I'm super excited about it, but if you guys don't want me to leave, then I can tell him it's not a good time' Hanna rushed her words in a single breath. She looked at the other two women expectantly, who were looking at her with dumbstruck expressions, because they had expected to hear that Riley was back, or some other bullshit for them to deal with, so this was a pleasant surprise.  
'Are you kidding?' Emily asked, as a smile crept upon her face. 'Go! Go pack your stuff and get the hell out of here, before I do it for you' she added, her smile beaming, which Hanna quickly matched.  
'Are you sure?' She asked, looking from Emily to Alison, and back to Emily again.  
'Yes! Hanna, it's been a rough few weeks on us all, you deserve to get away and relax for a few days' Emily insisted, reaching out to hold Hanna's hand on the top of the table. Alison's eyes flicked down to the gesture, and while she felt a pang of envy at the fact that it wasn't her hand that Emily was holding, she was happy to see how close the two most important people in her life had grown over the years. It made her feel a little better knowing that they had each other, while she was gone.  
'Ali?' Hanna asked, looking back at the other blonde and snapping her eyes back away from the two women's hands.

'I agree with Em, I think it's a great idea' Alison replied sincerely, flashing Hanna a small, but genuine smile. Hanna still felt uneasy about leaving the other two women alone for a few days, though she had already spoken to Spencer and Aria, who insisted that they would check in on them and call her if anything happened.  
'You're sure?' Hanna asked again, wanting to confirm indefinitely that the other two women would be ok without her for a few days.  
'Yes' Alison chuckled. 'I mean, it'll be pretty strange going back to my apartment, but other than that, I'll be fine' Alison added, her stomach churning at the thought of having to go back to the apartment she had shared with Riley. She had yet to go back there since Riley had left, and had come to the decision that maybe she should find somewhere else to live.  
'You don't have to do that! I told you, you can stay at my place for as long as you need' Hanna replied instantly. She wasn't going to say it, but she had enjoyed having Alison staying with her. She had felt like she was getting closer to her old friend again, and she was secretly enjoying the full kitchen cupboards and clean apartment that seemed to come with the other blonde.  
'I'm not staying in your apartment alone, Hanna' Alison stated with a smile. 'Thank you, I appreciate it, but no' she added sincerely, because she honestly wasn't sure what she'd have done these last few weeks without Hanna.

Hanna let out a heavy sigh at Alison's words, feeling guilty for going away, and inevitably making the other woman return to the one place she desperately seemed to want to stay away from.  
'Well, you can't just go back to your place' Hanna said softly, though she wasn't really sure what else they could do. 'Maybe you could stay with Spencer and Aria?' She suggested, her eyes widening at the idea that seemed to suddenly appear in her head.  
'Hanna, their place is already like a sardine can with the three of them there' Alison countered, causing Hanna's face to drop again, because Alison was right, with Toby now officially moved in, it was a little tight for space over there.  
'Uh, guys...' Emily spoke up, causing the other two women to snap their heads towards her as though they had forgotten she was there. She turned to look at Alison, her mouth going a little dry at the words she wanted to say.  
'You could stay with me...?' She half asked, because honestly the thought of having Alison in her apartment for a week was both terrifying and thrilling at the same time. Hanna's eyebrows shot up in surprise, because she hadn't seen that one coming at all, while Alison seemed frozen, her mouth bobbing open and closed a few times as small, hesitant noises left her mouth.

'Uh..no, Em...I couldn't ask that of you' Alison finally managed to say, though she too loved the idea of spending so much time with the brunette.  
'You're not asking me, I'm offering' Emily pointed out in a shy, but firm voice. 'Look, you don't want to stay alone at Hanna's, and I don't feel comfortable with you going back to your place alone. Just, stay here with me...please?' Emily asked, her voice softening as she half begged Alison to stay.  
'Well, I guess it'll give us a chance to really get to know each other' Alison replied hesitantly, though the curve of her lips forming into a smile quelled any worries Emily had about the blonde feeling pressured into accepting.  
'Ok, I do not need to know any gory details about you two 'getting to know each other' again' Hanna stated, her face contorting into a look of disgust, but judging by the smile that she was trying to hold back, Emily knew that she was enjoying the fact that she and Alison were getting along so well.  
'That's not what I meant' Alison replied, her eyes widening in shock when she realised what her statement had implied, causing Emily to chuckle.  
'Whatever' Hanna sighed, as she pushed her chair back from the table. 'I'm leaving in a few hours, but if you need anything then call me, ok?' She said firmly, her finger pointing between the two women to emphasize her point.  
'Yes, Mom' Emily replied sarcastically, as she saluted Hanna with two fingers to her forehead.  
'We'll be fine, Han' Alison stated with a soft chuckle, her eyes lighting up as she looked across at the brunette. Her stomach started to flip at the thought of staying with Emily. Her mind instantly raced with thoughts of them cooking together and watching TV together in the evenings. The simple, domestic thoughts excited Alison in a way that she had never thought they would.

Hanna left the apartment, leaving Alison and Emily alone, and the blonde suddenly didn't know what to say to the other woman.  
'You're ok with staying here, right?' Emily asked, feeling the same nervous energy as Alison. She wasn't sure why, what seemed like a great idea a few moments ago, now suddenly felt heavy without the presence of Hanna.  
'Yeah' Alison replied with a small, lopsided smile. 'I'm happy to stay here. Like I said, it'll give us a chance to really spend some time together and reconnect' she added, her eyes flashing with hope and possibility in a way that made Emily want to pull her across the table and kiss her fiercely. Her eyes locked onto Alison's, who could see the lust hidden beneath the surface of those shimmering orbs. Alison swallowed hard, as she became aware of the intense look that Emily was giving her, spotting how her eyes had darkened significantly. She wanted to look away, knowing that they needed to take things slowly, but Emily had always had the ability to completely strip her of any will power with a single look.

'Em' she breathed, when the brunette was rounding the table, slowly moving in closer until they were toe to toe, and the scent of Emily's coconut shampoo invaded her nostrils. She wanted to tell the other woman that this wasn't right, that she should stop, but she didn't want Emily to stop. She had never wanted Emily to stop touching her or kissing her, and if she could feel only Emily's body against her own for the rest of her life, then she was pretty sure she would be quite content with that. She had loved this woman for over a decade, and she had only gotten to feel what it felt like to have Emily completely, once. One magical moment in time, that had kept Alison going for what would be the next nine years, in the hopes that she would get a chance to re-live that moment with the brunette woman.  
'Ali' Emily breathed, almost as though in response to the blonde, as she reached out to cup Alison's cheek, her hand fitting perfectly against the curve of the other woman's face as though they were made to fit together like pieces of a puzzle. Their eyes locked for a lingering moment, as Alison let out a heavy breath, her heart pounding at Emily's sudden and unexpected forwardness, before the brunette closed the gap.

'Emily, stop' Alison hushed, her heart in her throat as their lips brushed against each other's. The brunette froze in place, the hot air from their mouths meeting in the smallest of gaps between their parted lips.  
'I don't want to make things complicated if I'm staying here' Alison added, closing her eyes as the words left her mouth, because she wanted this so bad and she hated herself for stopping it, but she knew that they weren't ready, despite what their needs and emotions might be telling them otherwise. They were barely ok again, and jumping into bed together wasn't going to help them get back to a good place again.  
'I'm sorry, I just... I thought' Emily mumbled, pulling away from Alison, who quickly reached up to hold her in place.  
'Don't ever be sorry' she said firmly, her eyes steely and sure, because she didn't ever want the other woman to apologise for acting on her feelings. 'We're just not there yet, ok? We need to take it slow' she explained, her voice smooth like satin, and it made Emily want her all the more.  
'Ok. Slow' she replied, her eyes flickering from Alison's eyes to her lips again, before she leaned in to place the softest of pecks upon them, causing the blonde to let out a sigh as they parted again.  
'That was ok, right?' Emily asked, feeling unsure of what was and wasn't allowed.  
'Yeah' Alison breathed simply, her eyes peacefully closed as she tried to hold on to the flickering of a spark that was pulsing through her from the smallest of kisses from Emily.

The rest of the day was spent with the two women relaxing on the couch and watching endless movies, reminiscing over old ones that they used to watch together, Emily's favourite being The Lion King, which even though she had teased the brunette over and over again for loving the movie so much, Alison secretly loved it too. They also watched a few newer ones, as they shared their new favourite movies, now that they were grown adults with different tastes. Emily was surprised to find that Alison had developed a taste for Romantic Comedies, something she had scoffed at many a time while they were growing up, claiming they were for people who lived their lives vicariously through the 'perfect love story', simply because they couldn't find romance of their own. Meanwhile, Emily surprised Alison by revealing that she had taken a fancy for Horror Movies, which in turn was a complete shock, since the brunette couldn't even watch the Roald Dahl movie 'The Witches' until she was Thirteen, because it scared her so much.

'How are you watching this?' Alison asked from behind a pillow, as Emily chuckled at the blonde, who was practically shaking through fear at the Horror movie of choice.  
'Ali, it's not scary' Emily giggled, as she looked over at Alison, who was peering over the top of the white fluffy pillow, that she had gotten from the bed only a half an hour earlier.  
'Not scary? Emily, that woman was just dragged from her bed by her foot!' Alison screeched back with wide eyes, as she silently vowed to never have her feet hanging out of the bed covers again.  
'Yeah? So what, it's not real' Emily stated nonchalantly. She had experienced real fear, real dread, real grief. She had also experienced what it felt like to feel completely numb and emotionless.  
'Besides, it's good to feel a little scared every now and again' she added, as she bit down on her lip, remembering the first time she watched a scary movie with Hanna, Spencer and Aria, well, the first time since Alison had left them anyway. It was the first Horror movie she had managed to sit the whole way through, not jumping and not really feeling anything of anything at all, if she was completely honest. Over time, Horror movies became a challenge for her, a way for her to see if she was remotely 'alive' again. The first time she felt even an inkling of fear at a horror movie, she had felt beyond happy. So much so, that scary movies had become her 'go to' choice, if she needed a little pick me up.

Alison yelped at the movie, instantly moving closer to Emily and burying her head into the other woman's side. Emily didn't think twice before she wrapped an arm around Alison, pulling her in tighter as she placed a kiss to the top of her head.  
'It's ok, I've got you' she mumbled against blonde hair. She could feel Alison quivering against her, and she couldn't help but feel bad that she was putting the other woman through this.  
'We can turn it off if you want' Emily said softly, hitting the pause button on the remote control, because she didn't want Alison to feel this scared of anything, not even a silly movie.  
'No, it's ok' Alison replied in a small voice, which made Emily smile softly, because she knew that the other woman was only agreeing to watch the movie for her. That was the thing about Alison, she gave out the impression that she was confident and indestructible, and definitely not scared of anything, but stick on a horror movie and all those things crumbled and she was just as scared and vulnerable as anyone else. But still, she was trying her best to not be scared and to get through the movie, just because she knew that Emily now loved a scary movie.  
'No, it's not ok. You're scared' she replied faintly. 'Besides, it's getting late now anyway' she added, as she checked the time on her phone.  
'Mm, I'm pretty tired' Alison hummed, though the thought of sleeping after watching that movie terrified her, because she knew that her dreams would be filled with haunting and petrifying scenes.  
'Let's get ready for bed then' Emily said into the silence of the room. She felt Alison nod against her side, though it took a few more minutes for the blonde to move.

After fifteen minutes of the women changing, brushing their teeth and washing their faces, they were finally ready to get settled down. It was at that point that Emily realised the situation they were now in. She lived in a tiny studio apartment, her moderately sized double bed was only feet away from her couch, and she hadn't thought through the logistics of Alison sleeping there. She quickly came to the assumption that sharing a bed would be off limits, they were taking things slow after all.  
'Uhm, you can take the bed, I'll just sleep on the couch' Emily offered, wanting to do the honourable thing, plus there was the fact that she had her Mom's voice in her head, telling her that manners were the most important thing a person could give.  
'No, honestly, I couldn't' Alison protested, as she waved a hand to say 'no'. 'You've been good enough to let me stay here, the last thing I'm going to do is take your bed' she added.  
'Seriously, it's fine. I almost prefer the couch anyways' Emily replied, because she really just wanted Alison to take the damn bed already.  
'Emily-' Alison attempted to argue, only to be cut off by the brunette.  
'Ali, I'm not asking you to take a damn kidney, I'm asking you to take my bed' Emily said a little more forcefully than she had intended.  
'But, I-'

'Would you just shut up and take the damn bed!' Emily half shouted, her eyes growing wider, and Alison could see that she was pissing the brunette off a little, though she wasn't sure why. Emily wasn't sure she even knew why she was so pissed off. Maybe it was because they'd been switching turns in this game of cat and mouse all day long, and she was over it already. She wanted to just pick Alison up and throw her down onto the bed. She wanted to be able to lean over and kiss Alison when she felt the need to. She wanted to stop the underlying anger that she still felt about the whole damn situation they were in.  
'Ok' Alison whispered as she eyed Emily cautiously, because she had become all too aware that the brunette was a bomb just waiting to explode, and she wasn't about to let herself be the person that set her off.  
'Thank you' Emily huffed, as she let out a heavy breath that she wasn't aware she had been holding. She felt pissed at herself for getting so worked up and shouting at Alison, and inevitably ruining their evening.  
'I'm sorry' Emily said softly, her voice barely above a whisper as she was filled with regret. Alison's brow furrowed as she took in the sudden change in Emily's demeanour. The way she had gone from fiery and angry to suddenly timid and withdrawn concerned Alison, and she wondered whether this was normal for the brunette, or whether this was a newly learned behaviour, especially for her.

'It's ok' Alison replied softly, reaching out gingerly with her hand to gently hold onto Emily's arm. She looked up into sad brown eyes and felt as though she were looking right into Emily's soul, searching for some answers through her eyes, but all she was met with was a mixture of extinguished anger and sorrow, and it hurt to see that looking back from the woman who had been smiling and laughing just a half hour ago. Emily looked down at the hand on her forearm, instantly feeling the usual comfort she felt from any touch of Alison's. It didn't feel right though, she felt undeserving of anything from the blonde.  
'We should sleep' Emily said monotonously, before gently pulling away from the other woman's grip. 'Goodnight' she mumbled, before flicking off the lights and heading towards the couch, leaving the apartment lit by just the dim light from the lamp beside the bed, and leaving Alison alone and confused.  
'Goodnight' Alison whispered back, pushing back the lump in her throat. She wasn't entirely sure what had happened, or how things had gone so drastically downhill, but she knew that only she could fix it. With Hanna away, it was her job to take care of Emily, and she wasn't about to let the brunette take a tumble down the vodka-hill on her watch.

It was a long, sleepless night, with both women tossing and turning, and barely getting any sleep. Emily lay on the couch, staring at the ceiling, still filled with guilt for the way she had let herself get worked up over nothing, while Alison remained confused and concerned for the brunette woman. She wanted to ask Emily what happened, why she went from being so angry and full of emotion, to practically void of any emotion at all. She looked over from the bed, seeing Emily flat on her back on the couch, and she thought she could see the other woman blinking, but she wasn't entirely sure through the darkness of the apartment. She wanted to call out her name, ask her what was going on in her head and tell her that she was going to be there to help her get through it, but the words seemed stuck in her throat. Instead, she lay there staring at the brunette, until finally sleep took over.

Emily woke to the smell of bacon and the sound of sizzling. She blinked away the sleep and rubbed her eyes groggily as she sat up, looking over the back of the couch to see Alison humming softly to herself while she cooked. Emily couldn't see her face, since the other woman was facing away from her, but she was sure that the blonde was at peace and it made the brunette smile. She threw off the blanket she had been using as a duvet, and quietly made her way into the kitchen area, stopping beside Alison.  
'Morning' she mumbled with a soft smile, causing the blonde to jump.  
'Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you' Alison replied, eyeing Emily warily as she tried to gage what mood the brunette was in today.  
'It's ok' Emily replied simply, as she reached for the coffee maker and began to pour two cups, seeing that Alison had already finished her morning coffee.  
'Em, I'm sorry about last night' Alison said, as she began to place the cooked bacon onto the waiting slice of bread. 'I shouldn't have been so stubborn' she added as she handed the plated bacon sandwich to Emily.  
'You don't need to be sorry, Ali' Emily replied, her eyes widening at the prospect of the other woman feeling the need to apologise, when she knew that she was the one in the wrong. 'You didn't do anything wrong, I just...I guess I still have a lot of anger inside of me and sometimes I lose control. I shouldn't have taken it out on you, though' she sighed sadly.

Alison plated up her own sandwich and turned off the stove, before turning to face Emily, crossing her arms as she leaned against the counter.  
'What are your plans for today?' She asked casually, causing Emily to furrow her brow, because she wasn't expecting the seemingly irrelevant question.  
'Uh, I have to work until 2, but I don't have any plans after' Emily replied in a questioning tone. She didn't miss the glint in Alison's eyes, that said she was up to something.  
'Good' Alison replied simply. 'Come meet me from work when you're done. There's somewhere I want to take you' she added, causing Emily to become even more curious.  
'Ok, where are we going?' She asked impatiently, which caused Alison's lips to curve into a genuine smile. Emily had always been impatient and had never liked surprises, purely because they involved waiting for the unknown.  
'You'll see later on this afternoon' Alison replied, before taking a bite out of her sandwich, signalling that the conversation was over. Emily rolled her eyes and let out a small sigh, before tucking into her own breakfast.

Emily spent the entire morning wondering what Alison could possibly have planned. With her mind elsewhere, she found herself unable to concentrate on her patients that day. It seemed like the morning was dragging by slowly, but with her last patient for the day cancelling their appointment, Emily was happy that she was able to leave earlier than planned. With a quick goodbye to the receptionist on her way out, the brunette raced across the city to the address that Alison had texted to her, eager to meet up with the blonde that had occupied her thoughts since leaving the apartment that morning. With around a half an hour journey ahead of her, Emily wrapped herself up in her coat and scarf, protecting herself from the early November air, before hastily walking through the quieter streets of New York. She caught the L train from 3rd Avenue, following the directions on her phone, though she had a rough idea of where she was headed judging by the address. Overall the journey wasn't too bad, and after around Fourty Minutes of travelling, she found herself standing outside of a small, run down diner on the outskirts of Williamsburg.

Emily entered the run down looking establishment, and was surprised to find that inside, it wasn't too bad. The pale, bare brick walls complimented the grey coloured wood flooring throughout the small space, which was lined with small, four seated wooden tables and chairs along one wall, while a long counter spread along the other side, accompanied with bar stools. Emily smiled when she entered the nearly empty diner, instantly spotting Alison clearing some tables in the back of the diner. The blonde looked up at the sound of a tinkling bell, her smile beaming wide when she saw Emily in the doorway.  
'Hey, you' Alison greeted as she picked up the tray from the table, which was filled with dirtied plates and glasses, and walked towards Emily.  
'Hey yourself' Emily replied, her eyes instantly flicking up and down the figure hugging black shirt-dress that Alison was wearing, synched at the waist by a white apron that accentuated her hips and bust. Alison raised an eyebrow as a smirk spread across her face, knowing full well that Emily was checking her out.  
'You done staring, perv?' she asked playfully, chuckling lightly when Emily's eyes widened and a pink blush crept up her cheeks.  
'I wasn't-'  
'Yeah, ok' Alison interrupted in a disbelieving tone, with a giggle as she placed the tray on the counter and fully turned to face the brunette.

Emily stared, wide eyed and open mouthed, unsure of what to say at having been called out for her obvious staring.  
'Do you want a drink?' Alison asked, as she walked around to the other side of the counter and moved the tray from the surface.  
'Uh, yeah. Sure' Emily replied, snapping out of the frozen state she was in and taking a seat at the counter. She placed her bag on the counter and leaned on her elbows as she watched Alison begin to potter around and fix her drink.  
'This place is cute' Emily said softly, as she looked around the small diner. It had a calm and relaxed vibe about it, and the gentle chatter from the few tables of customers was comforting.  
'Thanks, I kind of like it' Alison replied as she turned and placed a tall glass filled with frothy chocolate milkshake in front of Emily. The brunette looked at the drink with a single raised eyebrow, because it never failed to amaze her just how much Alison had remembered about the smaller details of her likes and dislikes over the years. Their eyes locked for the briefest of seconds before Emily looked away and grabbed for her purse.  
'It's on me' Alison stated casually, as she reached out to softly grab Emily's wrist, stilling her motions. 'I won't be done for another half hour or so. You don't mind hanging out here with me until I finish, do you?' She asked, even though she knew that Emily wasn't going to leave after hauling her ass all the way in from the city.  
'No, not at all!' Emily replied, before glancing down at Alison's hand, that was still lightly resting on her wrist and the blonde seemed to be making no effort to move it; not that Emily wanted her to, of course. Alison smiled a soft smile and took Emily's hand between her own, lightly playing with tanned fingers aimlessly.

'It's pretty quiet today, so we can just hang out until Eleanor gets here' She said, her voice soft and relaxed as she looked down at the hand she had between her own.  
'Who's that' Emily asked, as she watched while Alison played with her fingers, observing each of them as though they were rare antiques that should be handled with the utmost care.  
'She's the owner' Alison replied as she looked up at Emily with a smile, and the brunette couldn't help but notice how her eyes lit up at the mention of this other woman and Emily suddenly found herself feeling jealous of this other woman.  
'She and her husband Seamus own the diner' Alison explained, smiling a little when she saw Emily visibly relax, because she was sure she had seen a hint of jealousy at the mention of Eleanor.  
'Oh' Emily breathed. 'Well, I can't wait to meet her' she added genuinely. She could sense that Alison had a fond spot for this Eleanor woman, and it made her curious. She wanted to know everything about Alison, everything she had missed over the years, and she wondered whether Eleanor had been a big part of that.  
'She'll be here soon enough' Alison replied as she let go of Emily's hand and grabbed a rag from behind the counter, before beginning to wipe down the polished wooden surface. Emily frowned at the lack of contact, but she figured if Alison's boss was about to walk through the doors any minute, the blonde should probably be doing some sort of work.

'Cool...So where are we going today?' Emily asked, because it was still bugging her where Alison was planning to take her, to the point where she was beginning to feel anxious about the whole thing.  
'I told you, it's a surprise. You need to be patient' Alison replied with a smirk. She had expected Emily to grill her endlessly, she was just thankful that she still had the ability to hold some sort of ground around the other woman, since most of the time now she felt like a teenager again when they were together.  
'Ok...why do I feel like you're up to something?' Emily asked, narrowing her eyes suspiciously as she tilted her head to the side slightly.  
'Do you not trust me?' Alison asked with a flirtatious edge to her voice, as she leaned into the counter on her elbows. Their faces were now impossibly close, with mere inches between them.  
'No, not a bit' she replied in an equally flirtatious response, her eyebrow cocking in an almost challenging way.  
'Well, thanks!' Alison laughed, before pulling away and tossing the wet rag at Emily. The brunette squealed out a laugh, while the few customers stopped their conversations and looked in their direction, not that either of the women were remotely aware of the presence of other people.

They were so oblivious to their surroundings, that they didn't hear the small tinkle of the bell as the door opened. 'What's all the commotion about?' Came a voice from the entrance of the diner, the strong Irish accent causing both women to freeze for a second before Alison burst out laughing, while Emily remained wide eyed as she stared at the short and dumpy flame-haired woman, who was standing with a hand on her hip and a stern face.  
'Hi Eleanor' Alison greeted with a chuckle, causing the woman's face to break into a smile.  
'Well, hello Alison' she replied as she made her way over to the edge of the counter, plopping her bag onto the surface with a thud. Emily's eyes widened even more at the sound of the red headed woman greeting Alison by her real name, since the brunette was under the impression that everybody new in blonde's life, knew her as Holly.  
'Wait, she knows your real name?' Emily blurted suddenly, unable to keep the words from tumbling out. Alison smiled sheepishly, knowing that she would need to explain the situation with Eleanor. She was about to open her mouth to explain, when Eleanor cut her off enthusiastically.  
'Of course I do, I know everything about our dear, Alison' Eleanor replied with a smile and wide eyes. 'And you, must be Emily' she added in a semi-questioning tone, but she was sure that she was right in her assumptions.

Emily looked from Eleanor to Alison in confusion, the blonde standing there looking a little embarrassed, while the brunette was wondering who the hell this Eleanor woman was and what the hell was going on.  
'I'll make us a cup of tea' Eleanor said, sensing that she should leave the two women alone for a second. With a quick wink in Alison's direction, Eleanor grabbed her bag and headed to the Diner's kitchen out back to make drinks for them all. Once they were alone, Emily shot Alison a look that silently said 'explain'. Alison let out a small sigh and leaned against the counter again, taking Emily's hand into her own like before.  
'Ok, so...Eleanor and Seamus found me not long after I left Rosewood' Alison began to explain, her eyes downcast as she spoke. 'I was sleeping rough not far from here, when Seamus found me. They took me in, let me stay with them and gave me a job here.' Alison explained, and Emily had to swallow the lump that was forming in her throat. Alison had explained that she had slept rough once, and Emily hated even thinking about it.  
'Ali-'  
'They saved my life, Em' Alison cut in, her voice solemn and calm as she looked up at Emily with a warmth in her eyes that was both familiar but different. 'They took care of me, and they became the parents that I never had. They loved me like my parents never did, and they respected me and showed me what it was like to have someone there who would always have your back and take care of you' she explained, a small smile creeping upon her face. 'They gave me hope that I was going to be ok, after so long of being everything but, and it's because of them that I am standing here today' she finished, and Emily couldn't help but feel adoration and a strange sort of love for these perfect strangers, because they had taken the best care of Alison, when she couldn't be there to do so. They had kept her alive and healthy and given her prospects, and they gave her the family that she had never had, and Emily wasn't sure that she could even put into words how thankful she was for the older couple.

'I'm glad you had someone to take care of you' Emily replied with a smile, as she gave Alison's hand a soft squeeze, almost a silent way of indicating that now they had each other too.  
'Me too' Alison replied with a small nod of the head. 'And I'd really like you to get to know them, and for them to get to know you' she added softly. It was important to her that Emily, the most important person in her life, got to meet and get to know the two people who had pretty much turned their lives upside down to take care of her, and visa versa.  
'Well, from the sounds of it, I'd say they know enough about me already' Emily joked, hinting playfully at the fact that Eleanor had known exactly who she was, without so much as an introduction, causing Alison's cheeks to flush pink.  
'So, I may have told them a thing or two about you' Alison replied coyly, her eyes darting away from Emily's pressing stare.  
'Oh I'd say it was more than a thing or two' Eleanor chuckled as she returned with a tray of tea cups and a Pot of tea. The older woman placed the tray on the counter, shaking her head in amusement at Alison's attempt to lie.  
'Once she finally opened up to us and started talking about her life back in Rosewood, she wouldn't shut up about ye' the red-headed woman added, causing Alison to grow even redder.  
'Oh really?' Emily asked with a smirk, as she side eyed Alison, who currently looked like she wanted the ground to swallow her whole.  
'Oh sure, girl she was mad about ye! Still is as a matter of fact' Eleanor added.

'Ok, I think that's enough bonding for today' Alison interrupted as she began to untie her apron. Emily furrowed her brows as she put on her best look of disappointment.  
'What? But we were just getting to the good stuff!' Emily protested teasingly. 'What did she say about me?' She asked, turning to Eleanor, who watched on in amusement.  
'I think if I tell you that, her wee head will explode' the older woman replied with a light giggle.  
'Come on, we're going' Alison pushed as she pulled on her coat and grabbed a rucksack from behind the counter, before grabbing Emily's arm and marching her in the direction of the door.  
'Eleanor, it's been a pleasure' Emily called back to the other woman, as Alison led her from the diner. 'I'll catch up with you again soon!' She chuckled, before finally being pulled out of the door and along the street. Alison firmly held onto her for about a block, before she finally let go and shoved her hands in her pockets. Emily smiled, seemingly entertained by the whole ordeal, while Alison pouted and tried to look pissed off in order to hide her embarrassment.  
'So, you're mad about me, huh?' Emily asked after a few minutes of silence between the two of them, gently hip bumping the slightly shorter woman playfully. Alison tried her best to keep on her pissed off face, choosing to ignore Emily and continue walking.  
'What is it that drives you crazy?' Emily asked, keeping up her playful tone as she smirked at the blonde, who was trying so hard not to break. 'Is it my smile? My eyes? The fact that I'm hilarious and awesome?' She asked, finally spotting Alison's lips beginning to curve into a tiny smile.  
'Because I'm awesome, I knew it' Emily fake cheered, which caused the other woman to fully smile and roll her eyes.  
'Shut up, you dork' Alison replied, her smile beaming now, because she wished things with Emily could be this easy and free all of the time. So much of their time together was spent with each of them over thinking each and every word and action, and most of the time it didn't feel genuine, but this was the Emily she knew and loved.

They walked for a further ten minutes, settling into a peaceful silence, though neither woman could wipe the smile from their faces. Emily seemed to be in good spirits, and Alison briefly wondered whether this was a bad idea, as it could potentially cause Emily's mood to go quickly downhill, but she figured they had come this far now, she might as well go through with her original idea. Emily was just about to ask how much further they had to walk, when they turned a corner into a small alley way, and Alison stopped in front of a seemingly alone door. Emily stopped and eyed the other woman curiously, as she pulled out a set of keys and unlocked a padlock on the door. Alison looked back at Emily for the briefest of moments, before pushing open the creaky door and walked into the dark room. Emily wasn't sure she felt completely comfortable going into a dark, strange place, but Alison seemed to have no qualms about it, so she found herself following the blonde with no questions. They weren't in darkness for long though, because Alison quickly located the light switch and lit up the room, revealing a large, open plan gymnasium with work out equipment, punching bags and a large boxing ring in the centre.  
'What is this place?' Emily asked as she looked around, taking in the various black and white pictures of different boxers that lines the walls, and the different, worn punching bags. It looked old and used, but it had a strangely comforting feeling about it, much like the diner beforehand. It felt welcoming, almost.

'This is Seamus's gym' Alison explained. 'He lets me borrow it whenever he doesn't have people in here' she added nonchalantly, as she led Emily further into the large converted warehouse.  
'For what?' Emily asked as she followed Alison to a bench at the far side.  
'To train...' the blonde replied, as though it were obvious. Alison took a seat on the bench and shrugged off the rucksack from her back, before unzipping it.  
'Wait, you box?' Emily asked, wanting clarification, because Alison and boxing wasn't something she would put together. Alison began to pull out various gym clothes from the bag, along with sneakers and hand wraps.  
'I mean, I'm no Mohammed Ali, but I can throw a mean punch' she replied with a smile, looking up when Emily began to chuckle. 'Why are you laughing?' she asked, mildly offended that the brunette would find this funny.  
'It's just...you were never exactly the athletic type...' Emily replied, as she tried to stifle her laughter. It wasn't that she found it amusing, in fact she found the thought of Alison boxing to be incredibly hot, she was just surprised by it.  
'It's not athletic, not really' Alison replied with an eye roll, deciding to let go the fact that she was offended by Emily. 'Seamus used to box when he was younger and he taught me some basic stuff, so that I could defend myself if I ever needed to. It became a great way to let off some steam...it cooled me down a lot' she explained.

Emily suddenly felt bad for laughing, because this had never been about the athletic side of the sport for Alison. It was a way for her to defend herself, and the fact that the blonde even felt the need to learn to defend herself, was bad enough, but the words 'let off some steam' resonated with Emily. It gave her the impression that Alison had dealt with her own anger issues, and maybe still was.  
'So, is that why we're here? So you can let off some steam?' she asked cautiously, because she still wasn't quite connecting the dots.  
'No' Alison sighed, looking up to Emily with empathetic eyes. 'We're here so that _you_ can let off some steam' she explained, as she placed the rucksack on the ground by her feet and stood so she was eye to eye with the brunette.  
'Look, you can tell me to mind my own business if you want' Alison began to speak again, taking Emily's hands loosely into her own. 'But you obviously have a lot of anger inside of you right now, and I just thought...' she trailed off as she looked from Emily to the punching bag beside them. Her eyes lingered on the bag that she herself had spent so much time punching and kicking over the years, before flicking back to the woman in front of her. She knew that this was something that had helped her, but Emily looked like a deer caught in the headlights, and Alison began to wonder if this was too soon for the brunette. Maybe she wasn't ready to deal with it all yet.

'Maybe this was a bad idea' Alison sighed, as she tried to read the emotions through Emily's eyes. 'I just wanted to help you' she explained, hoping that the other woman wasn't mad at her for interfering again. After all, what right did she have to do so? She wasn't like Hanna, who had been there when Emily was literally at her lowest point. She was the root cause of all of Emily's issues, and she honestly couldn't blame her for being angry, because she was sure she'd feel the same way.  
'Ali I'm not mad at you' Emily finally said, her voice sincere and soft. 'I appreciate what you're offering, and you're right. I have a lot of anger inside of me, I guess I have for a while, and the other night, I took that anger out on Riley.' She continued, and Alison could see all of the pain and regret in her eyes. She wished more than anything, that she could take that away from Emily, and shoulder the burden herself.  
'That can't happen again, so if this worked for you, I guess I could give it a shot' Emily finished, a hopeful, yet hesitant, look on her face, and Alison was honestly surprised that the other woman was so open to trying this, and in turn trusting her to help, because the blonde really hadn't expected it.  
'Really?'  
'Yeah, why not?' Emily asked, before changing the tone of the conversation when a thought popped into her head. 'Besides, the thought of you boxing is all kinds of hot' she added, smirking a little at the thought of watching Alison get all hot and sweaty.  
'Uh, down girl. We're here to work out, not work out' Alison replied with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.

The two women quickly changed into the workout gear that Alison had brought for them, each of them sneaking glimpses of the other as they got changed. The sexual energy in the air was almost suffocating, and Alison wasn't quite sure when it had gotten so intense between them, or how long it would last, because last night they had gone from flirty to shouting in minutes, and Alison was beginning to feel like she was on the world's longest rollercoaster. Once they were changed into their gym pants and tank tops, Alison sat Emily on the bench and began to wrap her hands with the hand wraps from her rucksack. The brief contact had both women's hearts skipping and Emily found that she had a good view down the top of Alison's tank top, which wasn't helping the situation in the slightest.  
'Ok, you ready for a warm up?' Alison asked, straightening up when she was happy with the wraps. Emily's throat was so dry by this point, from having spent a good five minutes staring straight down Alison's cleavage, that she could only nod in response.

Emily had said that she wanted to get to know the person that Alison was now, but after twenty minutes hitting it hard in the gym, she wasn't so sure she wanted to get to know this side of the blonde. Alison had run rings around the brunette and had practically worked her into the ground, and Emily was shocked to discover that that was just the warm up.  
'God, I never realised I had gotten so out of shape' Emily gasped for breath as she doubled over against a bench, sweat dripping down her back, while Alison watched on in amusement, having barely broken a sweat.  
'Well, you better shape up quickly because now is where we get serious' Alison replied firmly as she grabbed for a pair of boxing gloves and some sparring pads. She gave Emily a few more minutes to get her breath back, before strapping the gloves on the brunette, and grabbing the large sparring pads for herself.  
'What are those for?' Emily asked, pointing to the large red pads that Alison was holding.  
'For you to hit' the blonde replied as though it were obvious.  
'Wait…you want me to hit you?' Emily asked, shaking her head a little, because there was no way in hell she was hitting Alison. A punching bag, sure, but Alison!? No way.  
'Em, you're not hitting me' Alison stated. 'It's a piece of foam. I won't even feel it' she added, before tapping one of the pads against Emily's boxing glove.  
'Come one. Hit it' she encouraged, as she stood with one leg behind her to balance herself for when Emily began to punch.

The brunette hesitated, before throwing a few weak punches into the pads, still feeling uneasy about directing the hits towards Alison.  
'Good. Now harder this time' the blonde encouraged, nodding her head a little to get Emily going. She continued to throw punches, but Alison could tell that she was holding back, and that wasn't the point of this. The point was to let go, and the blonde knew that she needed to get Emily to open herself up.  
'Harder' Alison demanded, causing Emily to put just a little more force behind her punches, and she could see the brunette was beginning to get a little more worked up.  
'Harder! Come on, I know you can do better than that' Alison practically barked, wanting to rile the other woman up. She knew it was a dangerous game to be playing, and usually she would be a little worried, but this was her territory. This was where she felt confident.  
'I am hitting harder' Emily grunted through gritted teeth. She could feel her temper beginning to rise, and she was trying so hard to hold it back because she didn't want to let rip at Alison.  
'You're not even trying, Emily!' Alison stated, raising her voice again. She felt the punches increase in intensity and power, but she could feel that Emily was still holding back.  
'I am trying' Emily snapped, as she threw a solid punch to Alison's left hand, and she could feel the anger behind the hit. Emily was starting to come undone, and that was what she wanted.

'You're not trying, those punches are pathetic' she jibed. 'You couldn't even put a toddler on their ass' she added with a sneer, causing Emily to let out a loud groan as she swung hard into the pad, her face reddening and Alison knew that she was getting somewhere with the brunette.  
'You getting angry?' Alison asked with a taunting edge to her voice.  
'No' Emily replied shortly as she continued to hit the pad at full force.  
'Yeah you are' Alison stated, adding in a curt laugh in for good measure. She knew how to get under someone's skin, it was the exact same way that Seamus had gotten her to let go several years ago, when the pent up anger she was carrying became too much for her to handle. It was tough, she knew that, but she tried not to think about how much it hurt to let it all out, and focused on the end result and how free she felt afterwards.  
'What are you angry about, Em?' she asked, getting ready to push Emily past that final hurdle. 'Is it because of Riley? Because of what you did to her?' she knew she was hitting a raw spot, but she knew it was the only way to get Emily to get it all out.  
'Or because you want to drink? Is that it?' she continued, and she could feel the aggression behind each and every strike from Emily's fists.  
'Or is it because of me?' She gave the final blow that she knew would get Emily raging, and it worked because at those words, the brunette let out an almost animalistic groan as she attacked the sparring pads.  
'Oh, it is because of me! You're angry with me because I left.' Alison continued her taunting. 'I left you alone and let you think I was dead, and I fucked your life up in ways that nobody could ever imagine'  
'Stop!' Emily yelled as she continued to hit and punch, and her adrenaline was going wild as the fire inside of her raged into a full inferno.  
'I broke your heart and turned you into a sad, lonely alcoholic, and made you fill your bed with slutty, blondes-'

'I said stop it!' Emily screamed as hot tears sprung to her eyes and she swung her fist at Alison, only this time she aimed higher than the pads in the other woman's hands. Alison's reflexes were fast, due to her years of sparring with Seamus and the other men who regularly trained at the gym, and she was able to block the incoming of punches with the pads. They came in thick and fast, and Alison began to worry that maybe she had pushed Emily too far, as the brunette closed in and she had to take several steps backwards to keep the distance between them. Eventually, Emily's motions slowed and the tears took over. Alison froze as she watched the brunette crumble under the emotions she was feeling.  
'Why did you do that?' Emily sobbed, because she knew what Alison had been trying to do, and she got it, but she wasn't ready to let it out in that way. She wasn't ready to feel the pain and anger and hurt that she had kept bottled inside for so long.  
'You shouldn't have done that' Emily continued, and Alison was quick to move in, tossing the sparring pads to the ground before she wrapped her arms around the other woman.  
'Don't' Emily warned, pushing Alison away, because she couldn't be close to the blonde right now, not while she was feeling the way she was inside.  
'Emily, I only did it to help you' Alison tried to explain, feeling hurt by the rejection, because all she wanted to do was to make Emily happy again.  
'Help me!?' Emily spat, her eyes wide and filled with tears, and Alison could see the anger and the hurt, clear as day in the woman's chocolate coloured orbs. 'You destroyed me!' she continued, and Alison didn't know what to say because this was what she wanted Emily to tap into. She wanted her to clear her chest and get everything out in the open so that they could heal, but she hadn't expected it to be so brutal.

'I thought you were dead, Ali! I mourned for you!' Emily cried as hot, angry tears flowed down her cheeks. 'I grieved and I cried and I hurt for you. My heart shattered because of you, because you were the love of my life and I thought you had died!' Alison's tears were falling in turn now, because Emily was moving closer to her and she could practically feel the pain emanating from the brunette. 'And now all these years later, I should be happy that you're still here but I can't let myself feel it because it almost killed me the last time I lost you. I can't go through that again' Emily was practically sobbing by now, because it hurt to relive the pain of losing Alison, and it hurt to think of the possibility of losing the blonde again, because she didn't know what she would do if that happened.  
'Emily, I told you, I'm not going anywhere...' Alison whispered through her own tears. She dared to take a step forward, needing to be closer to the brunette and wanting to calm her in some way, but she wasn't sure if that was possible.  
'You can't promise that though' Emily cried back, because she couldn't handle any more false promises, and she couldn't handle getting her hopes up, only to have her heart shattered again.  
'I can' Alison replied immediately, because she knew that she would promise Emily the moon and stars right now and she would make sure that she got them for her.  
'You don't understand!' Emily yelled. 'You can't promise me that when you left already' the words began to pour out of her mouth before she could stop them. 'You gave me the most amazing night of my life, and then you just left me, and I thought that you left because of me; because of what we did, and I hated you for that for so god damn long, and I wished so many times that that night had never happened because then maybe you wouldn't have left'

'Emily' Alison said in the softest of voices, though she didn't know what to say to the brunette.  
'I felt so confused' Emily interrupted, because she was finally getting allowing herself to feel her own emotions. 'I still am confused. I don't know what's going on in my head, because through all of the hate I felt for you, I still loved you so much, and now I just feel angry with myself for hating you for something that wasn't your fault' she knew that she was a mess, but that was the effect that Alison had on her. She was either flying high on the love that they shared, or she was feeling incredibly low because of the fact that they had been forced to spend years apart, because of someone else's agenda.  
'It's ok' Alison tried again, wanting to do something to calm the brunette. She moved in closer again and reached up to delicately brush away the tears that had fallen, something she realised she was doing more and more lately.  
'No, it's not ok' Emily disagreed, shaking her head faintly as she looked up into the eyes of the woman that seemed to have the power to make even the darkest of times seem bright. 'It's not ok, because I love you so much and I want you, all of you' she confessed. She knew that she shouldn't be saying this, because they had said that they would get to know each other again and take things slow, but she couldn't hold it in anymore. She was done holding things in, it just hurt too much. Alison's eyes widened at the admission, but her heart swelled and warmed at the brunette's sincerity, because she had dreamed of hearing Emily say those words for years.

'But I can't stop myself from thinking that you're going to leave me again' Emily added, and Alison felt her heart sink again, because as amazing as it was to hear the previous words, these were like a knife of reality to the chest. Emily didn't trust her, and that was something they would have to get through if they wanted to make something together.  
'Emily, I promise you, I am not going anywhere' Alison said firmly as she brought both hands to cup the other woman's cheeks. 'I know that I left you before and I know how shitty it was for me to not get in touch, and if I could go back and do things differently then I would, but the one thing I would not change, is you' she smiled timidly at Emily, and the brunette could feel the love pouring from Alison. 'I wouldn't change you for the world, Emily Fields, because yes, you are a mess of emotions, and you're angry and you're hurt, but it's ok to feel those things' she wanted to assure Emily that these emotions were normal and natural and it was ok to feel them. Alison smiled again as she looked at Emily's face, taking in her furrowed brow and the way she chewed on the inside of her lip anxiously, and she wondered if it would ever be possible to not love this woman. Alison's words lingered between them, and Emily was the speechless one now, because over the years, people had tried to help her come to terms with her emotions and feelings, but nobody had told her that it was ok to feel the things she was feeling.

'I never should have walked away before, and I'm so sorry for the way I made you feel, but I promise you, I will do everything I can to prove to you that I'm here for good this time' Alison stated, and Emily could see that she was being genuine, and she willed herself to get past the insecurities she was feeling in order to believe her.  
'I love you, Emily. I might have been foolish enough to walk away from that once before, but I won't let it happen again' she added, and those words seemed to spark something in Emily. She moved before her brain even registered what she was about to do, and she found herself pulling Alison into her, their lips crashing together in a messy, lust-filled kiss.


	12. Touch

' _I love you, Emily. I might have been foolish enough to walk away from that once before, but I won't let it happen again'_

Alison staggered backwards, her foot planting behind her to stop herself from falling backwards at the sudden, forcefulness of Emily's mouth on hers. It took the blonde a few seconds to register what was happening, before she found herself kissing back, her hands instantly planting in long, dark locks as she held the other woman in place. Their lips moved crushingly against one another's, each kiss growing in ferocity, as their bodies heated up quickly. Emily's heart pounded in her chest, as she desperately pulled Alison closed with gloved hands.  
'Emily' Alison mumbled against the other woman's lips. 'We're supposed to be going slow' she points out, even though stopping right now, is the last thing she wants. Emily pauses, seeming to ponder Alison's words for less than a second before she's moving back in again.  
'Fuck going slow. We've waited long enough' Emily replies, almost aggressively, as she captures Alison's lips in a bruising kiss, causing the blonde to moan, as she wraps her arms around Emily's neck, her fingers digging into the tanned woman's bare shoulder, as she grips tightly to the woman she has loved for longer than she can remember.

Emily quickly deepened the kiss, her tongue pushing through the barrier that is Alison's lips. Her hands desperately tried to grip Alison tighter, but she found herself restricted by the boxing gloves still attached to her hands. The other woman quickly noticed Emily's struggle and began to claw at them, their lips never parting, until finally slender hands came free from their constraints. She shook the gloves off, letting them drop to the ground, before instantly gripping Alison's waist, pulling their bodies closer as she guided the blonde back against the wall. Alison let out a soft groan into Emily's mouth, as her back was slammed into the brick wall, her eyes opening in surprise when she was swiftly hoisted off of the ground. She immediately wrapped her legs around Emily's waist, a dull ache piercing through her lower abdomen as her centre came into contact with the other woman's stomach. Their kisses became almost desperate and hungry with desire, and Alison's fingers practically clawed at Emily's scalp as she longed for more contact with her. Her arousal was quickly building, and with lips attacking her own, and hands groping at her ass to support her, while she hung in the air, with only the wall to hold her up, Alison was already overcome with desire and need.

It was almost as if Emily could read her mind, because just as Alison was silently wishing for more, the brunette snaked her hand between their bodies and down the front of the other woman's yoga pants. Alison let out a harsh hiss, as Emily's nimble fingers quickly found that oh-so-important bundle of nerves between her legs, and began to draw light circles around it with two fingers.  
'Fuck' Alison gasped, her head falling back against the wall as Emily's mouth moved to her neck, and her fingers continued their ministration, building a tightness in the pit of the blonde's stomach that she knew would release in an embarrassingly quick time. Not that she was lucid enough to care at that point, her mind clouded by everything that was Emily Fields. The feeling of finally having Emily's fingers, expertly building her up, and teeth nipping at her neck, leaving a path of tiny, purple-ish marks behind her. Every touch and movement felt electric, and Alison wasn't sure how she'd gone so long without this feeling.

Emily's mouth continued to work down Alison's neck and throat, her teeth nipping at tender flesh, as she brought her mouth to the other woman's collar bone and chest, where she continued to suck and bite and lick at pale skin.  
'Em' Alison moaned out into the quietness of the room, her lips parting as she began to grow breathless at the pleasure mounting inside of her. Her heart was racing, matching the throbbing between her legs as Emily's fingers skilfully built up a pressure that was waiting to release. Sensing the blonde's desperation, Emily hoisted her up higher as she shifted her fingers, plunging two fingers deep into Alison's wet heat, causing the blonde to let out a deep, guttural moan at the sudden intrusion. Emily smiled into Alison's neck as she pumped her fingers rhythmically, while Alison's fingernails dug into the back of her neck as she panted breathlessly. Emily had longed for so long to feel the blonde again, and as the other woman began to grind her hips into her hand, the brunette could literally feel the life coming back into her, because Alison was her life. She always had been.

'Fuck, Emily' Alison choked, as she clenched tightly around Emily's fingers and a wave of pleasure washed over her body. Emily pulled back, watching in awe as Alison came undone, and she thought that the blonde had never looked more beautiful than she did in that moment. Alison's body shivered as Emily slowly brought her down from her orgasm, before she finally went limp, falling into the brunette entirely, who supported her weight against the wall. She rested her forehead against Alison's as she slipped her fingers back out, feeling the damp sweat that clung to her brow, as she waited silently for the other woman's breathing to regulate.  
'Fuck' Alison sighed finally, as a smile crept across her face, and Emily couldn't help but smile back. 'I guess ten years really does make a difference' Alison chuckled lightly, as blue eyes met brown.  
'I guess it does' Emily laughed in response, and Alison thought that the other woman's laugh could be her favourite sound.

They stayed locked in that moment, both panting and trying to regulate their breath, their minds filled with what had just happened. Neither of them would exactly say it was the most tender or romantic of moments, they definitely hadn't been 'making love', even though their hearts felt twice as big afterwards. No, it had been far from anything endearing, in fact it had been pure, unadulterated fucking, but it was special for them both. Sure, it wasn't the way Alison or Emily would have planned it, but it was the first honest and true moment they had experienced since they had found each other again, and it was the first time they had allowed themselves to lose control with one another, and that itself felt amazing. And now, here they were, brown eyes locked onto blue, their cheeks flushed and their hot breath meeting between them, as they remained resting their foreheads together.

Alison was the first to move, pulling her forehead back as she hopped down from Emily, her legs feeling weak as she landed on them uneasily. Emily's hands instantly went out to steady her, and Alison couldn't help but chuckle and the simple action, that spoke so many words. A simple action, that showed just how much Emily cared for Alison, and in turn made the blonde's heart swell. She reached up and gently cupped the other woman's cheek in her hand, her eyes examining Emily's caramel coloured ones, before she leaned in and captured the woman's lips again. Emily's hands gripped at her waist as it was quickly deepened, the heat resounding them quickly building back up again, though their kisses this time were much more gentle and loving than before.  
'You know how much I care about you, right?' Alison half whispered against Emily's lips, causing the brunette to pull back, hesitating slightly, before a smile spread across her face.  
'Yeah' she breathed in response, the corners of her mouth curving into the tiniest of smiles. 'I wasn't sure for a while, but I guess I've always known' she added, her smile growing. She wanted to tell Alison that she was sure her heart had stopped beating, the same day that Alison had left, and how she was sure that it didn't kickstart again until the day they were reunited. She wanted to tell Alison that she was more important to her than the moon and the stars, and how she was sure the entire universe revolved around her. There were so many things that she wanted to say to the blonde, but before the words could work their way to her mouth, she felt Alison's lips on hers again.

Their lips moved together rhythmically, as their hands began to wander again. Alison's hands ran over Emily's breasts, and down her torso, until she reached the hem of the brunette's shirt. Alison pulled away from the other woman, as she peeled the top from Emily's body.  
'Let me show you. Just so you can be sure' she whispered, as she inched the tank top up slowly, a mischievous glint in her eye that caused a shiver to run down Emily's spine. Alison's eyes lingered over the other woman's slender frame, her hands brushing along the curve of the brunette's waist and hips as Alison memorised every inch of the other woman's matured body. She noted how Emily was now curvier and more defined now than she was ten years ago. The athletic, boyish figure long gone and instead replaced with a woman's body. She saw how Emily's breasts were practically busting from the top of her sports bra, threatening to spill over the top, and how her ass was now rounder and more full than it used to be. She never thought it possible to love Emily's body more than she already had, but seeing her in her sports bra and tight gym pants, and how her body had changed, made her insatiable to Alison. She had never wanted the other woman more.

'You're so beautiful' she said softly, as her eyes rose back to look into Emily's, and she could see that they were practically dancing with happiness. Alison couldn't wipe the smile off of her face, and she was just about to lean back in to capture those perfectly pillowed lips, when the door to the warehouse rudely swung open, causing the girl's to spring apart like caught out teenagers.  
'Seamus!?' Alison yelped, as her eyes widened, while Emily looked almost pained at the unexpected interruption.  
'Alison! You scared the bejesus out of me' Seamus exclaimed in a strong Irish accent, his hand clutching his chest as he leaned against the door of the gym. Emily hastily pulled her tank top back over her head, her eyes firmly fixed on the stout, grey haired man in front of her.  
'Sorry, we were just, uh...working out' Alison stumbled over her words, her mouth curving into a forced, awkward smile that was fooling exactly no-one.  
'Oh, I can see that' the older man chuckled, as he recovered from his position and entered the gym, his eyes flicking from Alison to Emily, a cheeky grin smeared across his face and a knowing glint in his eye. Emily's cheeks burned in embarrassment at having clearly been caught in the almost-act, while Alison's chuckled the situation off, though she wasn't any less embarrassed.

'Seamus, this is Emily' Alison introduced the brunette, her smile growing less awkward and more genuine as she looked across to the woman beside her. Emily looked like a deer caught in the headlights, as she looked from Alison to Seamus in pure shock, her mind still trying to play catch up from Alison's actions a few minutes prior.  
'Oh, Emily!' Seamus' eyes lit up at the mention of the name, and the brunette figured that he, much like his Wife, had heard a lot about her. She noted how his smile grew, and he immediately emitted a warm aura around him.  
'It's nice to meet you, sir' Emily said softly, as she forced her legs to move and take a step forward, reaching out her hand towards the man.  
'It's nice to finally meet you too, Emily' Seamus replied genuinely, as he took the woman's hand into his own much larger hand, and shook it firmly. Their hands dropped after a moment, and Emily scratched the back of her neck, not really knowing what else to say to the man in front of her.

'Uh, you got someone coming to train?' Alison stepped in, as she interlinked her fingers with Emily's in order to ease the brunette, who was clearly on edge right now.  
'Sure, I've got a few fellas coming soon' Seamus replied with a smile. 'Would you help me grab some training pads from the storage room?' He asked, signalling to Alison that he would like to talk to her alone.  
'Uhm...' Alison hummed, looking to Emily beside her, before nodding. 'Sure' she answered with a smile, giving the brunette's hand a quick squeeze before letting go and following Seamus to the closet out back, and ultimately leaving the brunette alone.  
'What's up?' Alison asked, as she and Seamus made their way out to the back of the gym. She knew that this wasn't a simple 'help me with the training pads' and was actually a not-so-discreet way for them to talk alone.  
'Emily looks like a nice girl' Seamus said after a moment, nodding his head as he stopped in front of the storage closet, however he made no movement to open it up.  
'She is a nice girl' Alison agreed with a smile. 'She's the best girl' she added, her eyes glistening at the thought of the brunette across the gym.

Seamus didn't miss the way Alison's eyes lit up at the mention of Emily, and a part of him was happy for her. He knew what the blonde had been through, and how much she had missed her girlfriend from all those years ago, but he was also worried that maybe the blonde's judgement was clouded a little.  
'Just promise you'll be careful' he said after a moment, and Alison's eyebrows furrowed in response as she took in Seamus' serious expression.  
'You don't like her' Alison replied flatly, her heart deflating at the thought of the man, who was one of the most important people in her life, not liking the one woman in the world, who could make her feel this good.  
'I didn't say that' Seamus replied automatically. 'I don't even know her' he added admittedly.  
'You're right, you don't know her' Alison scoffed, her defences kicking up in the form of anger.  
'Alison, you know I'm only trying to protect you' Seamus stated, knowing that he was pushing all the wrong buttons, and that Alison could potentially blow up at him at any point.  
'I don't need protection from Emily!' Alison snapped, her eyes flashing dangerously as she grew angrier.  
'You're vulnerable, Alison' Seamus said softly, his hand landing on the blonde's shoulder in a form of comfort, but Alison quickly shook him off. 'She doesn't know what you've been through. What you're still going through' he added, wanting to make Alison see sense and slow down with the brunette woman.

'What I've been through!?' Alison was almost screaming now. 'You don't know what _she's_ been through! What _I_ put her through, Seamus!' The guilt was beginning to eat her up inside, because she knew she was responsible for what happened to Emily, and for the life the brunette had been forced to live.  
'Alison, It's not your fault. You know this!' Seamus was practically pleading now, wanting the blonde to listen to him, because she was behaving erratically and it was worrying him to see her so dangerously unhinged and overcome by guilt.  
'The only thing I know is that Emily is the best thing in this miserable world' Alison replied, her jaw clenching tightly as she spoke firmly. 'And there's no way in hell I'm letting her go again' she added, before turning on her heels and walking away from Seamus, leaving the older man speechless and hurt, because he really hoped that this wasn't a sign of things to come. Alison stormed though the gym with a face like thunder, as she headed towards the door.  
'Ali?' Emily called with a questioning tone, because the blonde had gone from looking happy to looking like she wanted to murder someone. Emily stood from the bench she was resting on, and grabbed the rucksack from her feet, as Alison swanned past her, grabbing her wrist as she headed towards the exit.  
'Alison' Seamus called after her, causing Emily to look back, but the blonde simply continued to walk out of the door without so much as a glance backwards.

Emily didn't utter a word for several minutes, remaining silent as Alison pulled her along the road with a forcefulness that shocked the brunette, because up until now, the other woman had been nothing but passive and soft. This side of Alison was a totally new appearance, and Emily wasn't entirely sure how to approach the blonde.  
'Uh, Ali?' She tried, her voice weak and soft as she spoke, and it was the vulnerability that stopped Alison in her tracks, causing Emily to bump into the back of her. The blonde let go of Emily's wrist and turned to look at the other woman, before letting out a deep sigh.  
'I'm sorry, Em' she started to talk, though she wasn't exactly sure what to say to the other woman. 'I shouldn't have pulled you out like that, I just...' She trailed off, shrugging her shoulders in defeat, because there were no words that she could say, that would explain how she was feeling right now.  
'It's ok, Ali' Emily hushed, as she placed a comforting hand on Alison's bicep.  
'No, it's not ok' Alison disagreed, shaking her head softly. 'Here I am telling you about how you need to learn to deal with your anger, and I go and lose my shit a few minutes later' she added with a dark chuckle.

'I'm a fucking hypocrite' the blonde stated bitterly, causing Emily to move her hand from Alison's arm to her cheek, cupping it tenderly.  
'No, you're not' the brunette disagreed. 'You're the strongest person I know, but you're still human. It's ok to feel angry sometimes' she reminded Alison, her eyebrow raising as though daring the blonde to challenge her. Alison couldn't help but smile, rolling her eyes at Emily's words, causing the brunette to smile back. The blonde woman had nothing that she could say back to the other woman, having said pretty much those exact words earlier on in the afternoon, and so she found herself just smiling at Emily for an extended period of time. Finally, feeling like a dork, she rolled her eyes and hip bumped Emily to pull them out of their 'moment'.  
'Let's go home' she suggested, taking Emily's hand in her own, before leading the way towards the nearest subway station.

The rest of the journey home was uneventful, the two women just enjoying being in each other's company as they rode the subway back into the city. The sexual energy between them still lingered in the air, though both women remained slightly hesitant. They hopped off of the Subway and exited the station, Emily groaning when she saw that the sky had opened up and, in typical New York City fashion, the rain was pelting down onto the ground.  
'Great, we're going to get soaked' she complained, looking down at the gym clothes she was still wearing, not having had time to get changed before leaving Seamus' warehouse.  
'We'll be fine, it's only a couple of blocks' Alison replied with a chuckle, before pulling Emily out into the rain. Neither girl was dressed appropriately for the weather, and the rain was freezing in the brisk November air, and their thin clothes quickly became drenched through as they half ran in the direction of Emily's apartment.  
'Hey, Ali?' The brunette called over the noise of the city and the rain, a mischievous glint in her eye as the blonde turned around.  
'Yeah?' Alison replied as she turned, her head tilting to the side when Emily started to approach her. It took the blonde longer than it should have, to realise what the other woman was up to, and by the time she had worked it out, Emily was already holding her by the shoulders, and was hooking a leg to the back of her knees, causing the blonde to fall to the ground and straight into a large puddle. Emily howled, leaning in into her thighs as she doubled over with laughter, while the blonde let out a disbelieving chuckle.

'Oh your dead' she replied with a playful tone, as she lifted herself off of the ground. Emily's laughter stopped instantly, her eyes widening at the threat, because she knew that she was in trouble now. Alison swung her leg through the puddle, her sneakers filling with more water than before, as she kicked a large amount of water in Emily's direction, soaking the other girl. Their actions quickly escalated, and before long they found themselves having a full-on water fight the entire walk back to Emily's apartment building. They had just reached the apartment block, when Alison attempted to kick it up a notch, pulling a litre bottle of water from the rucksack that was swung over her shoulder. 'Oh no' Emily protested, her eyes widening as she backed away from Alison, who was now unscrewing the cap, while closing the distance between them.  
'Ali, no!' Emily laughed, unable to keep a straight face when Alison was looking at her with such a mischievous glint in her eye.  
'What are you going to do to stop me?' Alison challenged playfully, as she backed Emily up against the wall of her apartment building, trapping the brunette in place. The brunette's eyes locked onto icy blue orbs and she could see the challenge there, the dare to make the move that they both wanted to make. Emily's eyes flickered to Alison's lips, causing the blonde to swallow hard as a dull ache quickly formed between her legs at the prospect of what was about to happen.

The anticipation was overwhelming for both girls, but Alison found herself acting before Emily, the water bottle dropping from her hand and her fingers locking into dark, wet hair as she pulled the brunette in to her, their lips locking instantly. Emily moaned into the kiss, her hands wrapping around Alison's body, pulling her in close as she deepened the kiss. Both women quickly became oblivious to the rain that was now pouring over them, quickly becoming lost in each other.  
'Wooo, that's what I like to see!' A teenage boy jeered, pausing in the street, looking like he had just struck gold. Emily and Alison pulled apart, Emily chuckling, while Alison scowled at the boy.  
'Can I join you ladies?' He asked cheekily, which seemed to amuse Emily even more, while Alison didn't find it remotely funny.  
'I'm sorry, but I'm over taking my dates to Chuck E Cheese' Alison shot, before grabbing a giggling Emily's hand and leading her into the lobby of the building.

Once in the building, Emily leaned against the wall, letting out a loud cackle. Alison looked back out of the glass door at the teenager she had left in her wake, not spotting the way Emily was leering at her with hungry eyes. The brunette pulled the other woman in, causing Alison to let out a soft yelp, before she found her lips covered again, as Emily attacked her with needy kisses.  
'Let's go upstairs' Alison mumbled against her lips, before pulling away, noticing that Emily's eyes had darkened with desire. If only to prove this even more, the brunette gripped a pale hand in her own and practically dragged the blonde up the two flights of stairs, as she fumbled to grab her keys from her purse. It took exactly a minute, before Alison's lips were attached to her own again, and the two of them were tumbling backwards through her apartment. Alison kicked the door shut with her heel as Emily led her in the direction of the couch, the two of them falling onto it in a heap of cold, wet limbs. Hair clung to their faces as they kissed passionately, their hands gripping at wet fabric and fingers clawing at frozen skin, as they desperately tried to obtain more contact with each other.

Alison gripped her hands at Emily's soaked tank top, the brunette lifting her body up off of the other woman's, so that the offending item of clothing could be peeled from her skin and tossed aside, leaving her in her sports bra. Emily returned the favour by pulling Alison into a sitting position and helping her to remove her own gym top, before capturing her lips again, instantly swooping her tongue into the other woman's mouth, causing a satisfying moan from the blonde. They helped each other remove each item of wet clothing, peeling each piece of fabric from their bodies piece by piece, and they thoroughly enjoyed being able to see each other's bodies unclothed for the first time since they were Fifteen years old.  
'You look...' Emily trailed off, as she looked down at Alison's body. Her eyes lingered on perfectly rounded breasts and the curve of the other woman's hips. The way blonde hair lay wet and slightly curled from the rain, and lightly freckled cheeks flushed furiously red from the cold, and Emily thought that Alison looked positively prepossessing.  
'So do you' Alison replied breathlessly. Their eyes locked for a longing moment, before Emily captured the blonde's lips again, her hand hooking around the back of the woman's neck as she pulled her in closer, while a tanned thigh settled between paler legs. Both women let out a soft moan at the contact of a soft thigh hitting their centres, both Alison and Emily instantly grinding down as their kisses became feverish.

Emily's lips moved from Alison's mouth, trailing down her neck to her chest, the blonde's head falling back as the brunette finally reached her breast, sucking a pink nipple into her mouth. Alison arched her chest, pushing the perky nub closer to the other woman's mouth, as a tongue swelled around and flicked with expertise. The dull ache in each girl's stomach had grown, and was now practically an inferno coursing within them, both growing desperate for more. Emily groaned as she ground down hard into Alison's thigh, pushing her own up to create friction for the blonde, who let out a gasp as she too began to grind into soft flesh as she dug her nails into Emily's back. The brunette's mouth, having paid equal attention to both breasts now, trailed back up to Alison's lips, her body straightening back up and lessening the friction between their legs. She felt one of Alison's hands let up the grip on her back, and goosepimples rose on her skin as dainty fingers ghosted down her back. Alison's nails grazed across the swell of her ass cheek, before travelling round Emily's hip and between their two bodies. She opened her eyes, seeing that blue eyes were looking directly back at her, and their eyes remained locked upon each other's as Emily felt a lone finger swipe through her folds.

'Fuck' she breathed, her eyes fluttering closed as Alison's deftly fingers began to rub against her clit, as though she were smudging chalk into the world's most delicate piece of art. The other woman's eyes remained open, and she watched with fascination, as Emily's face was overcome by the pleasure she was providing, and Alison was sure it was the most erotic moment she had ever had with another person.  
'Open your eyes, baby' Alison whispered, as she continued her ministrations, her thigh resting against the back of her hand to support her wrist and create more friction. She almost gasped at the sight, when Emily's eyes opened, revealing the darkest, most lust-filled eyes she had ever seen, and Alison was sure she was falling in love with the brunette all over again.  
'Ali' Emily moaned in a hushed voice, her eyes begging for more, which the other woman was more than happy to grant. With a slight shuffle and rearrangement, Alison moved her fingers lower, humming softly as she plunged two fingers into Emily's warmth, causing the other woman's mouth to hang open as she let out a choked moan at the new feeling. The brunette's back arched, as she readjusted her hips, her palms digging into the couch cushion either side of Alison's head, and she felt so incredibly full, as fingers began to smoothly move in and out of her.

Alison looked up from her position, locked into position by the frame of Emily's arms either side of her head, and watched in awe as her lover came undone above her. Emily's mouth remained hung open as she drew in raspy breath after raspy breath, her chest heaving and her heart pummelling against her chest, as her hips rocked into Alison's hand with urgency. She could feel her lower abdomen tightening as her release grew inside of her, her walls tightening with every thrust of Alison's fingers.  
'Fuck, Ali' Emily breathed, her eyes squeezed tightly closed as her hips rocked faster and ground down harder into Alison's hand. 'I'm gonna-'  
A loud groan rang through the silence of the apartment, as Emily's orgasm hit her with force. Alison watched as the woman came undone above her, her arms shaking as her body convulsed with pleasure. Emily lowered herself onto her elbows, placing the softest of kisses upon Alison's lips as she slowly ground her hips into the woman's fingers, which were now delicately bringing the brunette down from her high. Alison's other hand came up to tuck damp hair behind Emily's ear, before lovingly resting upon her cheek.

Heavy rain hammered against the window of the apartment, while Emily and Alison remained still, the blonde's fingers now resting against the other woman's back, having been slipped out from between Emily's legs. Alison watched curiously, as brown eyes suddenly fluttered open, revealing nothing but love and fulfilment from their owner, causing the blonde to smile the purest of smiles.  
'I forgot what it was like to watch that' Alison whispered in awe, as she took in the sight of a completely satiated Emily Fields.  
'Oh god' the brunette chuckled, her cheeks flushing at Alison's words.  
'I forgot how beautiful you look in that moment' the blonde continued in a dream-like tone, causing Emily to smile.  
'Well, I got a reminder earlier, but I think I need another one' Emily said suggestively, before leaning down to kiss Alison again.

They parted a little over an hour later, having taken their time to re-explore each other's bodies, the last few weeks of drama long forgotten as they we're both overcome by the desire for each other. They collapsed in a hot and sweaty mess, their limbs tangled together as they lie in exhaustion. Alison held Emily close to her, the brunette cuddled into her side, both women content with how natural and comfortable they felt. Alison would have lay there all night long, but they quickly grew cold, their bodies still reaping the effects of their earlier mid-November water fight.  
'We should get dressed, warm ourselves up' Emily mumbled sleepily, as she snuggled deeper into Alison's chest. The blonde wrapped the other woman up tighter in her arm, a pout forming on her lips at the thought of having to move, before she sighed and nodded in agreement.  
'Yeah, I guess I am getting pretty chilly' she admitted sheepishly, though moving from her current position was the last thing she wanted to do right now.  
'I don't want to move though' she added, causing Emily to chuckle lightly. The brunette tilted her head up, so that she was looking into Alison's eyes.  
'Come on, we'll put on some warm clothes and we can cuddle again afterwards' Emily replied as she untangled herself from the other woman. She climbed over Alison and moved herself from the couch, before reaching out to pull the blonde from her position. Alison let out a groan as she was pulled from the couch, her feet dragging behind her as she was led towards Emily's closet.

Emily tossed a shirt and pair of shorts at Alison, not bothering to look at the items of clothing, before she grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt for herself. She pulled her clothes on, automatically turning her body away from the blonde, and it wasn't until she turned around that she saw Alison was still standing naked from the waist up, smiling at the t-shirt in her hands.  
'What?' Emily asked, her brow furrowing in confusion.  
'I can't believe you kept this' Alison replied, her voice barely above a whisper, as she looked up at Emily with tear-filled eyes. The brunette furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, moving closer to the other woman to take a closer look. Her eyes widened a little when she realised she had handed Alison a simple grey t-shirt with blue ribbing at the collar and sleeves, Rosewood Sharks emblazoned across the chest in a matching colour, and A. DiLaurentis written across the back.  
'Of course I kept it' Emily replied softly, a smile gracing her features as she took the t-shirt from Alison's hands and examined the faded writing of the other woman's name. She remembered the day she bought it, clear as day.

 _Emily bounced along the hall, dodging the other students as she searched for the sight of a familiar blonde-haired girl. Her smile instantly grew when she caught sight of her, and Emily was even happier to see that she was alone._  
 _'Hi' she greeted cheerily, stopping by Alison's side, as the other girl rummaged through her locker._  
 _'Hey' she replied with a sigh, her eyes flicking to Emily briefly, before going back to the inside of her locker, where she was clearly looking for something._  
 _''Ali, what's wrong?' Emily asked, sensing that her girlfriend was in a funky mood._  
 _'I left my fucking_ _Chem_ _homework at home' Alison replied with a groan, as she finally gave up rooting through her locker, and turned to face Emily, who was now on edge waiting for her girlfriend to explode._  
 _'Well, that sucks' she replied, a little too unenthusiastically for Alison's liking._  
 _'Gee, thanks for your concern,_ _Em_ _' the blonde snapped, as she slammed her locker shut and rolled her eyes. 'I cannot miss another piece of homework or I'm going to seriously flunk this semester'_  
 _'It's ok, we'll figure it out' the brunette replied, as she reached out and placed a comforting hand on Alison's bicep, the blonde instantly shrugging her off and glaring at her with wide eyes, before looking around to see if anyone had noticed._

 _'How are we going to figure it out, Emily!?' Alison snapped again, deciding to ignore the other girl's blatant attempt at PDA, when they had both agreed that it was best their relationship be kept secret for now._  
 _'I have a free period next. I can go pick it up for you' Emily replied with a sigh, as she ignored the sting she felt from Alison's rejection._  
 _'Really?' The blonde perked up, her eyes lighting up with a happiness that just made Emily melt. Her hurt quickly forgotten and a smile growing across her face, at the simple prospect of making her girlfriend happy._  
 _'_ _Of course_ _' she replied with an airy chuckle. 'I um, I also have something else for you. It might cheer you up a little' she added, feeling rather awkward about the gift in her bag now that she was actually about to give it to Alison._  
 _'It's stupid' Emily quickly added as she stuck her hand into her bag to grab the item. 'So, you don't have to wear it if you don't want to, I just figured-' she continued, as she handed the t-shirt to Alison, who's eyes lit up instantly at the sight of the Rosewood Sharks tee with her name printed across the back._

 _'_ _Em_ _' she gushed, her eyes softening as she looked from the t-shirt to her girlfriend, who she was falling in love with more and more by the day._  
 _'-since you wear mine all the time, you might like one of your own.' Emily finished, her words slowing as Alison talked over her, and realisation hit that the blonde liked her present. 'You like it?' She asked in surprise._  
 _'I love it' Alison replied with a toothy grin. 'I'm still totally wearing your shirt though. Something about wearing a top with your name on...does something to me' she added flirtatiously, causing Emily to smile shyly._  
 _'Well, in that case, I'll be taking this back' she replied playfully, as she tugged the t-shirt out of Alison's hands and stuffed it back in her bag as she headed down the hall, looking back over her shoulder at the blonde, who was left open mouthed._

'I slept in that shirt every night for...longer than I'd like to admit, after you left' Emily said, her voice heavy with emotion as she thought back to those darker days of her past. 'I needed something to feel close to you' she added, as she swallowed down a lump that was beginning to bubble in her throat.  
'I know what you mean' Alison said with a soft laugh, as she rolled her eyes at herself. 'I had an old photo booth picture of us in my purse that I looked at every day for...well, I don't think I ever stopped looking at it' she admitted with a smile, as she looked down again at the t-shirt in her hands. She quickly decided that this wasn't something she could wear again, not with the amount of sentimentality it held for Emily. Handing the grey shirt to the other woman, Alison silently grabbed another t-shirt from the closet, pulling it on so that she was now fully clothed.

'Do you want to see what else I kept?' Emily asked, her head tilted to the side and the hesitance written clearly across her face.  
'Sure' Alison replied curiously, wondering what else Emily could have possibly kept over the years. She watched cautiously as the brunette reached up to the top shelf of her closet, pushing a stack of jeans aside, before pulling out a shoebox sized wooden box. Emily carried it across to the couch and popped the box onto the coffee table, while Alison followed silently. She sat beside the other woman, who looked down at the box with a mixture of love and pain in her eyes, which only made the blonde more curious as to what was inside.  
'This is everything I saved over the years. Everything from the day we met, until the day you died' Emily explained with a heaviness in her voice that gave Alison shivers. She watched with wide eyes as the lid was lifted off of the box, and the blonde felt her heart break, when she saw that it was filled with literally hundreds of photos, cards and even ticket stubs from movies they had been to.

'Emily...I...' Alison stuttered, not quite knowing what to say, as she pulled the box closer to her and began looking through years' worth of memories. The many, many photos of the two of them, starting right from the kindergarten all the way through until she left. The Birthday and Christmas cards she had given to Emily, every year without fail, and the one lone Valentine's card from the one single Valentine's day they had gotten to spend together. Then there were the less significant things, the key ring she had won for Emily from a coin machine at the arcade when they were Fourteen, the candyfloss flavoured balm that they had both been obsessed with at the age of Twelve, a few notes they had sent back and forth to each other in class, their childish hand writing scrawled over the pieces of paper and coloured post-its. Then, in the very bottom, a mixed CD that she had made a few months before leaving. A CD of all of 'their' songs. A CD that Alison felt spoke the words that she couldn't, regarding her feelings for Emily. It was the CD that finally, after so long of the brunette fighting and trying and pleading with the blonde, got Alison to relent and admit to Emily that she wanted her just as much.

'I can't believe you kept all this stuff' Alison finally said, looking up to see that Emily was watching her cautiously, as she looked through the box that contained their entire relationship.  
'I could never throw it out' Emily replied, her voice just as soft and delicate as Alison's. 'It was all I had left of you' she added pointedly, and just when Alison thought that she had fallen impossibly for the brunette, she found herself falling even more. She placed the box back on the coffee table and practically threw herself at Emily, their lips connecting in a tender kiss.


	13. Secrets

The sun filters in through the slats of the wooden blinds, particles swirling in the air as the sunlight makes them glitter. Emily stirred in the bed as she woke, feeling confused for a mili-second when she couldn't move her arm due to a dead weight pressing it into the mattress beneath her. She quickly remembered the body that was lying beside her. The very naked body, in fact, and that thought made her smile. Not in a sexual or perverted way, simply because of the owner of that body. The person whose long, blonde locks were fanned out across the white pillow beneath her and whose breathing was tickling Emily's neck. Just the very thought of how they had ended up in this position, cuddled up in bed together as if nothing had ever gone awry, made Emily smile and her heart skip a beat, because it was just...perfect.

 _Emily lay on the couch, the arm pressing into the back of her neck, though she didn't mind too much, because Alison was cuddled into her side and there was no way she was making the blonde move, even if it was just to make herself more comfortable. The brunette had never felt as content as she did in that moment, and a part of her wondered whether that was purely because of Alison's presence and closeness, or because of their little 'work out' earlier on in the day. Either way, she felt great.  
'I never said thank you for today' Emily voiced her thoughts, her voice husky from the lack of talking they had done over the past few hours, both content to simply cuddle and watch the television. Alison's head shifted at the sudden words, blue eyes peering up through long lashes in order to take in the other woman's features.  
'For what?' She asked curiously, her own voice silky smooth, in a way that would cause Emily goosepimples at the pure sound of it.  
'For making me...' Emily trailed off, unable to find the words she wanted to say, because really she wasn't entirely sure what today in the gym had done for her. All she knew was that she felt great after it. _

_'I don't know...open up, I guess?' She sighed, shrugging her shoulders slightly as a pout formed across her face, her brain ticking frantically as she tried to find a good way to describe how she felt. 'Let out some of the aggression that I've been holding on to...' She added, though it was a thought that had unintentionally slipped out vocally. Alison stayed silent for a moment as she took in the other woman's words, and deciphered what she was trying to say, though truthfully, she needed more to go on.  
'Did it help?' Alison asked with soft curiosity, not wanting to pry too much into Emily's feelings, though she figured that if the other woman was willing to open up the opportunity to talk about it, she may as well take it.  
'Yeah, I think it did' the brunette replied after a moment, that same thoughtful look on her face that made Alison wish she could take a sneak peek into her mind and see what was going on in there.  
'Then, you're welcome' the blonde replied with a contagious smile that instantly made Emily's lips curve into a matched one. _

_They allowed a comfortable silence to wash over them, as they lay there studying each other's faces. The way the light reflected out of their eyes, making them shine more than they already were and the way that Alison's dimple grew with her smile. Emily never wanted the moment to end, too afraid that if she spoke or moved, the peaceful bliss they were in, would be destroyed forever. It was for that reason that she wanted to groan when Alison broke the silence upon them.  
'We should probably get some sleep' she whispered, so softly that had Emily not been lying beside her, she might have missed it.  
'Ok' the brunette sighed, a hint of sadness amongst the simple reply, and the pout that formed on her lips was unmissable.  
'What's wrong?' Alison asked, as she propped herself up onto her elbow, so that she was now looking down upon the other woman.  
'Nothing' Emily sighed, though the look in Alison's eyes told her that she was going to be made to explain the suddenly sad look on her face. 'It's just...today really meant something to me. I want you to know that' she stated, her voice insistent as she spoke. _

_Emily began to sit up, causing Alison to shuffle to the end of the sofa, until they were face to face, and she wondered what could have possibly brought on the seriousness of this conversation, just by the simple mention of going to bed.  
'I know I have a bit of a reputation, and I've gotten into some bad habits' Emily admitted, continuing her speech as she looked up into understanding, blue eyes. 'But, this wasn't like that'  
'Emily, you don't have to explain' Alison interrupted, as she leaned across to take Emily's fingers into her own. 'Whatever this was, I'm fine with it. Whether it was a one-time thing, or not' she lied, simply to protect herself, because she couldn't face the thought of not having Emily, and if that meant this was just a one-time thing and the brunette wanted to just be friends, then Alison was sure that she would find a way to handle that.  
'That's just the thing though, Ali. It's not a one-time thing' The brunette insisted, her eyes widening at the thought of that being all she could ever have with the other woman. 'It never has been with you.' Alison took in Emily's words, mulling them over in her mind as she took in just what she was saying. Emily wanted them to have something more. She wanted a future and a relationship, not just a fling for old times' sake, and that knowledge felt incredible. Knowing that after all those years apart, they could have a shot at something was indescribable._

 _'Well...I guess that's good' Alison said, as though she were considering the options in front of her. 'Because I didn't mean it when I said it can just be a one-time thing' she confessed, her eyes practically boring into brown, as though she were trying to pour out every ounce of love and honesty she could muster for the woman in front of her._  
 _'So why did you say it, if you didn't mean it?' Emily asked through narrowed eyes, because if Alison was lying about this, then was she lying about wanting more? She wasn't sure what to believe in that moment, and she wasn't sure why the other woman would lie about being comfortable with just fooling around, if she wasn't._  
 _'I don't know' Alison sighed, taking a moment to compose herself before answering, because she knew that Emily would want a real answer. 'I guess...you scare me' she admitted sheepishly, her eyes flicking down to their conjoined hands as she chewed anxiously on her lip._  
 _'I scare you?' Emily asked in confusion, because she wasn't sure what part about her could possibly scare the blonde, other than her ability to lose her temper, and she really hoped that wasn't the reason._  
 _'Yeah'_  
 _'Why?'_

 _Alison let out a heavy breath, her heart racing in her chest as she formed the words in her head before speaking. She wanted to be clear and not mess this up, fully aware that she had a habit of saying the wrong thing and the wrong words, and basically making a complete fuck up of the point she was trying to say. It was safe to say, that words were not Alison DiLaurentis' strong point.  
'Because I can let my guard down around you, and I haven't been able to do that around anyone for a long time' she stated timidly, and Emily could see the vulnerability behind the strong woman she had come to know and love. 'I'm scared of what might happen when you finally realise that I'm not the person you think I am' Emily remained silent, stunned at Alison's words that she couldn't quite figure out the meaning to. She was just about to ask, when the blonde climbed off of the couch, causing the brunette's eyebrows furrow.  
'Come on' Alison's voice requested, followed by an outstretched hand, that Emily simply looked at.  
'Where are we going?' She asked, as she flicked her eyes up to blue orbs, that were pleading to leave this conversation for another night.  
'To bed' Alison stated, as though the answer were obvious and the last five minutes of conversation had never happened._

 _Emily sighed, her hands remaining still in her lap as she looked away, not wanting to be swayed by the turquoise gaze, that had the capability to make her agree to absolutely anything._  
 _'We don't have to-'_  
 _'Emily Fields' Alison's voice was almost demanding, though still had a hint of playfulness in it. 'If you're about to say that you're sleeping on the couch again tonight, after what we did today, then I'm going to slap you' she stated firmly, raising a challenging eyebrow before chuckling. 'Now get your ass off of that couch and come to bed with me. Please?' She asked, her voice softer on the final word, and how could Emily deny this woman, especially when her eyes were begging and she looked as though she might cry if she was refused. With a relenting smile and a soft eye roll, Emily took Alison's hand and allowed the blonde to lead her to bed._

Alison shifted beside Emily, her eyes fluttering open and a smile gracing her features as she curled into the brunette's side. Emily froze at the sudden movement, unsure of where they would stand in the fresh light of day and a good night's sleep behind them.  
'Good Morning' Alison mumbled into a tanned neck, before placing a peck just beside Emily's pulse point, causing it to race at the contact.  
'Morning' The brunette replied, though it was rather strained due to the lips that were still pressed against her skin, and the naked leg that was hooked over her hip, Alison's calf pressing lightly against her centre. Though, despite the sexual frustration that lingered within her, Emily couldn't help but smile, her body relaxing a little as Alison leaned in to kiss her softly on the lips. Both women hummed into the peck, before Alison pulled away and settled herself back into the nook of Emily's arm. They lay in silence for a while, content just being in each other's companies, until a loud grumble broke the mood entirely, causing Alison to giggle.

'Hungry?' She asked the brunette, an amused smile on her face because really, she should have known better than to want cuddles in bed before feeding the other woman.  
'Always' Emily replied seriously, her eyes widening a little, shocked at the fact that until that embarrassing stomach rumble, she hadn't actually felt hungry at all.  
'Well, let's get you fed' Alison chuckled, leaning up on her elbow to peck Emily on the lips again, before she twisted herself out of the brunette's arms and out of the bed. Emily on the other hand, rolled herself onto her side, resting her head on a propped elbow as she took in the delicious sight of Alison's naked backside. The blonde walked across the room, grabbing the other woman's fluffy bathrobe to cover herself again, which quickly ended the brunette's personal peep show.

'You going to come help me make breakfast, or you are just going to perv over me all morning?' Alison asked as she looked up through her eyelashes, her fingers expertly tying the cord on the robe and her lips curved into a knowing smirk.  
'Hmmmm...' Emily hummed, her eyes narrowing as though she were considering her options. 'I was going to perv' she stated eventually, her own lips curving into a subtle smile, while Alison let out a shocked laugh.  
'Well, at least you're honest' the blonde considered, before grabbing a pillow and tossing it at Emily's head. 'Get your ass out of that bed' she commanded firmly, though a part of her wanted to just order breakfast in and stay in bed with the brunette all day long, their naked bodies tangling in the soft, white sheets. Alison had to force herself to blink hard in order to stop herself from getting lost in the fantasy that was playing out in her mind.

'Ok, ok, geez. Last night you were begging me to get in the bed, and now you can't wait to get me out of it. Make up your mind' Emily countered playfully, as she rolled out of the bed. She sat facing away from Alison as she stretched her arms into the air, causing her shoulders to pop and her back to crack, while the blonde made her way to the kitchen area and began grabbing food from the refrigerator.  
'You know, I don't remember you being this much of a smart ass in high school...' Alison stated, as she placed eggs, bacon and cheese onto the counter in front of her, before grabbing the carton of Orange Juice from the door of the fridge. 'Did I forget, or is it a new development?' She asked in a teasing manner.  
'Oh, I'm the smart ass? I think you'll find that you match me in that department' Emily countered, as she finally stood from the bed, a mischievous glint in her eye as her mind filled with all kinds of ideas to have some fun.

Alison chuckled and opened her mouth to argue, but as her eye line raised up to look at the brunette, her mouth dropped open at the sight of a perfectly naked Emily sauntering towards her. The blonde swallowed hard and cleared her suddenly dry throat, before looking back down at the ingredients in front of her. Needing a distraction, she quickly grabbed a knife and began to dice the bacon, feeling her cheeks redden as Emily moved closer. The brunette's body grazed against Alison's, as she reached across the front of the blonde to grab the orange juice from the counter, her mouth forming a smirk at how flustered Alison was becoming. She opened the juice and sipped from the carton, before placing it back on the counter, ensuring that her body pressed against the other woman's as much as possible. Deciding to play with Alison a bit more, Emily moved herself to stand behind the blonde, pressing her naked body against the other woman's back. Her hands slipped around the curve of Alison's waist, before reaching into the front opening of the bathrobe. Alison's eyes widened at the unexpected, but not unwanted, contact and her knuckles whitened as her grip on the knife tightened. Her breath hitched, as Emily's fingers ghost down her stomach and began inching between her legs.

'Em' Alison moaned through a shaky breath, as delicate fingers reached their destination. Emily's lips began to trail along the other woman's neck, as her fingers began teasing ever so softly between moist folds. Alison let out a cracked moan, before yelping in pain, which in turn caused Emily's eyes to widen in panic and her hand to shoot away. She quickly moved to the side of the blonde, catching the sight of claret blood weeping from Alison's hand.  
'Shit, Ali!' She exclaimed, as the blood smattered all over the counter. Emily quickly grabbed a t-shirt from the laundry pile, which in truth had been sitting in the basket for far too long, waiting for her to put it away, before wrapping the fabric around Alison's hand. Emily began to apply pressure to the gash, before leading the woman to the table, and forcing her to sit.  
'Are you ok?' Emily asked, her eyes filled with concern as she crouched in front of the other woman, her hand wrapped around the fabric that cocooned the wound.  
'Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just...' Alison trailed off, before letting out a frustrated groan. She couldn't believe she had been so stupid to have practically sliced her palm off.

'I'm so sorry, this is all my fault' Emily apologised, guilt filling her features, and Alison couldn't help but roll her eyes at the other woman's apology, because really, it wasn't anyone's fault but her own. Besides, she figured, even if it was Emily's fault, how could she stay mad at her, when the brunette looked so concerned, and her brow furrowed, as she tenderly took care of the wound, her hands shaking as she inspected it.  
'It wasn't your fault, it was mine' Alison sighed, as she looked up at the ceiling, the sight of the blood making her feel a little queasy. 'I was distracted and shouldn't have picked up a knife while I was in that frame of mind' she considered, chuckling darkly at her own stupidity.  
'Yeah, but still. I shouldn't have-' Emily was cut off by Alison instantly, blue eyes catching her own.  
'Em, it's fine. It's just a cut, and it's really not that deep. I've had worse' she said soothingly, wanting to take away the guilt that the brunette was feeling, because Alison knew that this was not her fault. Emily sighed as she wrapped Alison's hand back up in the now bloodied t-shirt, briefly wondering whether the cut will need stitches and whether it was worth heading down to the emergency room.

'I have a first aid kit here, let me grab some bandages' she decided, knowing that there was no way Alison would willingly go to the ER. Emily stood upright and went to move away, giving Alison a direct line of sight to the woman's naked body again, and the blonde instantly felt her cheeks beginning to burn again at the sight, as a dull ache formed between her legs.  
'Em?' Came Alison's strained voice, as she tried desperately to look up and maintain eye contact with the other woman.  
'Yeah?' Emily replied, turning on her heels to face the woman, asking with her eyes what it was that the blonde needed, and Alison figured that the other woman would go to the ends of the Earth and back if she asked, if only to make her better.  
'Could you maybe...' She began, motioning to Emily's body with her good hand. 'Put some clothes on first?' She finished, vocalising her gestures, causing the brunette to look down at her seemingly forgotten, naked body.  
'Oh, right. Yeah. Sorry' Emily laughed, a smile gracing her lips before she headed towards her closet to grab some clothes.

Half an hour later, a now fully dressed Emily, and robed and bandaged Alison, were sat at the table eating, a more boring breakfast than Alison had planned; cereal and toast.  
'I could have cooked us an omelette, you know?' Emily stated with an amused look, as she watched the blonde spoon her cereal around the bowl, a disapproving look upon her face.  
'Yeah, like I'm going to trust you to cook my food' Alison shot back playfully, as she glanced up from the bowl in front of her. 'I like living, thank you very much' she added, just for good measure.  
'Hey, I can cook some things. My Mom taught me some basics before I moved away' Emily protested, with a look of faux hurt on her face, which only seemed to spur the blonde on even more.  
'Oh yeah? Like what?' Alison challenged, raising that perfectly shaped brow, in true Alison DiLaurentis fashion.  
'Like...I can make eggs...' Emily thought, her head tilting to the side as she tried to wrack her brain for all the things her Mom had taught her to make before she moved, not that she had made any of them, not really anyway. 'Mostly in the scrambled form admittedly, but an omelette is just the same.' She considered, before continuing, much to Alison's amusement. 'I can cook bacon, I can cook Pasta, Pizza and Pancakes...' She began to list on her fingers, as she began to remember all the basic foods that her mother had taught her to make.

'Oh, the three most important P's in any girl's life' the blonde teased with a smirk, causing Emily to huff in defeat.  
'Ok, so I'm not great at cooking, but I could have tried' she offered, feeling more than a little useless under the other woman's gaze. 'I'm sure you could have talked me through it' she added, while wondering whether she really would be able to cook under the blonde's expert guidance.  
'I could have cooked it myself, if you'd have stopped worrying for two seconds and let me get back in that kitchen' Alison countered, because she really did find it ridiculous that Emily had put a temporary kitchen ban upon her, due to a small cut to the hand. Ok, it was more than a small cut, but she wasn't about to admit that, now.  
'You just cut your hand, there was no way I was letting you wield a knife so soon' Emily replied firmly, her eyes looking up as if to tell Alison that the conversation was over.  
'You're insufferable, you know that?' The blonde retorted after a while, her lips pulled into a tight line, though she there was a hint of playfulness to her tone.  
'And you're a pain in the ass' Emily countered, her tone equally as light-hearted as the other woman's.

They stared each other down, both trying to keep their best poker faces on, before Alison cracked, letting out a soft laugh, and in turn causing Emily to giggle alongside her. The brunette tossed a Cheerio at the blonde, who scoffed and rolled her eyes, but didn't return the favour through fear that they'd end up in a full-on food fight. Instead, she smiled lovingly at the other woman across the table, happy with the playful banter between them. As with any nice moment in Emily Field's life, it was interrupted by a knock on the door, causing the brunette to groan, before getting out of her seat to answer.  
'Spencer? What are you doing here?' She asked, as she saw the paler brunette standing the other side of the threshold. From what she could remember, she hadn't planned on meeting up with her old friend today, though admittedly her memory had become a little skittish the past few days, mostly due to the presence of a certain blonde woman.  
'Well, hello to you too, Emily!' Spencer replied sarcastically, before raising an eyebrow and looking at Emily like she had just been released from some sort of institute. 'Are you going to let me in, or are we going to stand in the hall all morning?' She asked sarcastically, which in turn pulled the brunette out of whatever trance she had gotten herself into.  
'Uhm...yeah' Emily stuttered, instantly wishing she had told the other woman that it wasn't a good time, because she was very aware of the fact that all Alison had to hide her obvious nudity, was her robe, and Spencer was not stupid. The other brunette would work out what was going on in an instant, and Emily, quite frankly, wasn't ready to burst the bubble they had been in for the past 16 or so hours.

Alas, Emily moved to the side and allowed Spencer into the apartment and, much like expected, the taller brunette instantly spotted the blonde woman's choice of outfit. She raised an eyebrow at the fact that Alison was wearing nothing but Emily's white robe, which was now spattered with small spots of blood, but in true Spencer style, decided it best she keep her mouth shut. For now, at least.  
'Hey Ali' she greeted the blonde, rather awkwardly she would be the first to admit, and Emily could feel the air stiffen between the two women, one of which looked like a deer caught in headlights.  
'Uh, hey Spencer' Alison replied with an equal amount of awkwardness, as her brain tried to work out how she would possibly explain the fact that she was wearing nothing but Emily's bathrobe. 'How are you?' She asked, deciding that maybe small talk was the best way to go about it. Maybe if they didn't mention it, Spencer wouldn't say anything.  
'I'm pretty good, you?' Spencer answered, playing along with Alison's attempt at maintaining as much normality in this, obviously awkward, situation as possible.  
'Uh, yeah I'm good' Alison stated, nodding her head slightly as she responded, all the while Emily remained frozen between the door and the kitchen.  
'What happened to your hand?' Spencer asked, pointing to the bandage on the blonde's hand, that had an evident blood stain from the wound that was still weeping a little.  
'Oh, I cut it with a knife' Alison said casually, looking at the hand in question. 'Actually, I'm going to go check on it, clean it up a little' she informed Spencer, before flicking her eyes to Emily, who could see that the blonde was just as on edge by the other brunette's visit as she was.

Alison eyed Emily, a guilty look spread across her face, before she sheepishly headed into the bathroom, while the brunette made her way to the coffee maker. She quickly poured out a cup of strong, black coffee for Spencer, wanting to keep the topic of conversation off the fact that she and Alison had obviously gotten 'close' over the past few days.  
'So, is this just a casual visit, or did Hanna ask you to check up on me while she's gone?' She asked, almost accusingly, hoping that it would be enough to stop the other brunette from prying, though she should have known better because when Spencer wanted to find out something, she was like a dog with a bone.  
'What are you doing, Emily?' The other woman asked, her eyebrow raised and a look written across her face that basically said 'don't even attempt to lie'  
'Uhm..I'm making coffee?' Emily replied, adding in her best attempt at a confused look, in order to keep the conversation away from Alison, for as long she could.

'No, not with the coffee' Spencer sighed in frustration, as she Emily handed the mug to her. 'What are you doing with Ali?' She asked clearer, and even Emily couldn't hide from the look of concern that was written across her friend's features.  
'She's staying here while Hanna's out of town. I thought you knew that?' She found herself saying, nonchalantly. Truthfully, Emily wished she could open up to Spencer, tell her just how much she loved Alison and how they made each other feel, but she knew that she would be met with nothing but judgement and cautious warnings.  
'Well it looks like she's doing a lot more than just sleeping in your apartment' Spencer stated observantly, as she looked over at the messed-up bedsheets and the two sets of pillows that were now spread across the bed, and the strewn clothes from the night before, indicating that the girls had probably slept naked.

Emily looked down at the counter, casting her eyes away from Spencer's which were now boring into the top of her head, while a guilty look flooded across the tanned woman's face.  
'So, what? Are you guys back together?' Spencer pushed, wanting her friend to open up and be honest with her. 'What's going on with you two?'  
'I don't know, ok?' Emily breathed, as she finally looked up at the other woman. 'I guess, we both just reconnected' she stated casually, as though it weren't that big of a deal. Spencer, however, was not a fool, and she instantly read between the lines, her eyebrow quirking upwards at the words.  
'Reconnected in a friendly way? Or reconnected in a romantic way?' She asked, needing clarification, though she already knew.  
'I don't know, Spencer, ok!?' Emily replied with a frustrated tone, because she herself was still trying to understand what was happening, let alone finding the ability to explain it to someone else. 'I don't know what's going on with us. All I know is that we both care a lot for each other, and right now, things are better than they have been in years. For me, at least.' She finished, an odd vulnerability about her that Spencer couldn't quite make sense of, because she had seen Emily vulnerable, but this was different to the broken vulnerability she had seen before.

'Em...' Spencer sighed, her tough exterior breaking down ever so slightly to form compassion for her friend. 'I get that you're happy that she's back, and I know that she cares about you, and you obviously care about her. I'm not saying you shouldn't go there, because I know I'd be wasting my time. I'm just saying, be careful. Take it slow, or rather...slow things down' she said in the softest voice that Emily was sure she had ever heard from Spencer, but they were not the words that she needed to hear right now. Emily didn't want to hear that she should be careful in case things go wrong, she wanted to know that the people around her had her back and had faith in the fact that she and Alison could work. That they had paid whatever penance they owed, and could now be happy together. She didn't need more lectures and warnings.  
'I don't need you to come and tell me how to live my life, Spencer. I'm not a kid' Emily bit, her eyes hardening slightly, though a special kind of softness sat behind, hidden beneath a hard shell.  
'Well, maybe you do need some advice, because obviously you're not thinking clearly right now!' Spencer bit back, the Hastings fire that flowed through her blood, growing inside of her. 'What if she leaves again? What are you going to do then? Are you going to move peacefully on with your life and forget about her, or are you going to hit up the first bar you come across and drink yourself into oblivion?' She knew she had gone too far. She knew by the way Emily's face dropped instantly. The way the subtle anger in her eyes disappeared, only to be replaced by sadness and pain. She watched as the other brunette's mouth bobbed open and closed a few times as she tried to find the words to respond with, but kept coming up at a loss.

It was Alison who jumped in, in the end. The blonde, having left the bathroom as those words left Spencer's mouth, looked beyond furious.  
'Excuse me!?' She practically roared, her feet thudding on the wooden flooring as she made her way across the small apartment. 'Who the fuck do you think you are!?' Spencer barely reacted to Alison's outburst, in fact she looked like she had almost expected it.  
'Ali, this is nothing to do with you so please just stay out of it' She sighed with an exhausted huff, because she really didn't come here to argue, and she wasn't about to have a show down with Alison, even if the blonde was apparently ready to throw down at any moment.  
'Actually, if it concerns Emily, then it has everything to do with me!' The blonde sniped, her face reddening with every second as she rounded closer to the brunette.  
'Look, I'm just trying to be a good friend, ok?' Spencer tried, wanting to reason with the evidently pissed off blonde woman, who was practically shaking with the anger that pulsated through her.  
'Yeah, well you've got a pretty funny way of showing it!' Alison snapped, and even Emily was a little worried, because honestly, the other woman looked ready to explode, and she briefly wondered whether she looked this way whenever she herself had one of her melt downs. Spencer too looked like she was growing concerned by the shorter woman's demeanour.

'I'm concerned about her, Ali! About both of you!' She stressed, trying her very best to keep her voice calm and collected, because she was honestly scared of tipping the blonde over the edge.  
'Concerned about what!? What could you have to be concerned about?' Alison asked in a short, irritated tone, her arms folding tightly across her chest as she leaned back on her leg. It was a pose that Teenage Ali had perfected, and had used time and time again to scare the living hell out of anyone that messed with her.  
'About this whole situation!' Spencer exclaimed with wide eyes, her hands making wild gestures by this point. 'Like, what's the plan with you two? Have you even talked about what you both want, or did you skip the chit-chat and head straight to the sack!?' She asked, internally wincing, because the second those words left her mouth, Alison's already angry eyes, grew positively venomous, and Spencer knew that she'd tip-toed over the line just a little bit too far.  
'Spencer! I can promise you, that whatever myself and Emily have or haven't talked about, is none of your concern' the blonde growled, annunciating each and every word as she spoke them in order to ensure there were no misunderstandings.  
'I know that you care about her, Ali but you don't know-' Spencer begun, only to be cut off by the other woman, who's temper was growing by the second.  
'No Spencer, _you_ don't know!' Alison screamed, taking a large step forward so she was mere inches from the brunette, while Emily stood back, watching from the counter with wide eyes. ' _You_ don't know what I went through when I left Rosewood. What I went through, having to leave Emily behind, knowing I might never see her again!' There were tears in Alison's eyes now, and Emily wasn't sure whether they were from sadness or anger, or maybe even a mixture of both. Either way, this was the most unhinged she had ever seen the blonde, and she wasn't quite sure of what to do.

Spencer apparently was feeling the same way, because she put up two defensive hands and took a couple of small steps backwards, needing to put space between herself and the woman, who looked as though she were about to swing for her.  
'I know, I didn't mean to make it sound like you didn't go through a tough time too, because I know you did-' the brunette tried, wanting to undo the damage she had done and calm Alison down. It seemed though, that the other woman wasn't ready to be calmed down, and for every step backwards Spencer took, Alison matched it, keeping a dangerous closeness between them.  
'That's just the thing, Spencer' the blonde spat, a look of distaste written across her face, and her eyes still ravaging with fire as she continued to close the gap between them. 'You _don't_ know! You don't know, because you lived your perfect life, in your perfect house with your perfect family.' She continued, jibing the other woman to bite back, wanting to get a rise out of the brunette, and these words seemed to work. Alison watched Spencer's eyes go from cautious to furious, her nostrils flared and her lips formed a tight line.  
'My life was not perfect, Ali and you would have known that, if you'd been around to see it!' Spencer started, her voice raising, ready to match the blonde word for vicious word, but Emily had had enough already.  
'Stop it! Both of you!' The tanned brunette screamed, stalling the other two women in their motions.

Alison and Spencer both turned to face Emily, their eyes wide in shock at the outburst from the other woman. The three women faced each other, Alison's chest heaving a little as she tried to calm herself from the outburst she had just had, and honestly, she was a little shocked that she had let herself get that riled up.  
'Spencer, I think it's best that you leave.' Emily said, her voice barely above a whisper. Spencer's eyebrows shot up at the other woman's words, a look of hurt filling her eyes.  
'Em, I'm sorry, I really just-' She began, only to be cut off by the other woman before she could apologise or explain herself.  
'I know, you thought you were helping and I appreciate it, as much as I might bitch about it.' Emily stated understandingly. 'But, I need to speak to Ali, and I think it's best that you're not here when I do' she added, her eyes flicking to the blonde, who looked petrified at what the brunette might say to her. She knew she had lost control, something she had spent years trying to stop herself from doing, and the fact that she had gotten so angry in front of Emily ashamed her. Spencer eyed Alison briefly, internally wondering whether it would be ok to leave the two, clearly emotional women, alone. Both women were clearly having issues controlling their anger, and she didn't want anything to happen to either of them, but it was clear that they needed to be alone for whatever sort of discussion took place.  
'Ok' she breathed, nodding her head just once. 'Call me if you need me, ok?' It was more of a demand than a request, and though Emily knew that she wouldn't be calling spencer, regardless to what happened next, she didn't protest.  
'I will'

Spencer took one last look between the two women, still not entirely comfortable with leaving them, but she did so anyway. With one last glance back at Alison, who was currently staring at the floor, she closed the door behind her, leaving the other two women alone. Emily leaned her hands into the counter and let out a deep breath, while Alison watched her carefully. The air hung thick over them as an awkward silence filled the room, until the blonde couldn't handle the tension any longer.  
'You ok?' She asked through a dry, scratchy throat, the words sticking slightly as she tried to talk. Her heart was in her chest and she felt sick, because she was sure that this was the moment that Emily would tell her to leave and never come back.  
'What was that, Ali?' Emily asked after a moment, her head still faced down to the counter, because she wasn't sure she could have this conversation while looking into the eyes of the women who had the ability to make her melt with just a single look. She couldn't melt on this one, she needed answers.  
'What do you mean?' Alison played dumb, instantly regretting the question the second it left her lips, but really her defence mechanism worked of its own accord. It always had, whether she wanted it to or not.  
'That! There, with Spencer!' Emily snapped, her head shooting up and the look in her eyes almost made Alison flinch back. 'I thought you were going to rip her head off. I mean, I knew you could lash out and you've always had a big mouth, but I've never seen you get so angry before' the brunette continued, though her voice lost the initial harshness it held.  
'Like you're one to talk about getting angry' Alison scoffed, though, again, she regretted it the instant she said it. Emily's eyes instantly dropped, hurt that Alison has snapped at her and thrown her break down back in her face.

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I shouldn't have said it' the blonde instantly apologised, taking an unsteady step towards Emily, because the look in the brunette's eyes was painful to see, and knowing that she was the cause of it, was even worse.  
'Then why did you!?' The other woman asked angrily, her eyes snapping back up to Alison's, challenging her to answer and be honest with her.  
'I don't know' the blonde whispered, ringing her hands together as she answered, and though the vulnerability about the woman was unmissable, Emily only grew angrier at the sight.  
'That seems to be your answer for everything these days' She let out a dark, humourless chuckle. 'Seems like there's a lot that you 'don't know' Ali' her voice was firm and emotionless, her eyes cold as she looked across at the woman that her heart had spent years beating for, yet had also shattered over, time and time again.  
'Em, I...' she trailed off, as she took another step forwards. Desperate to be close to the brunette. Needing to hold her, because she was sure that she was about to lose Emily again, and she wasn't sure how she would handle that. She knew that she needed the brunette, just as much as Emily needed her, she just hadn't told her that.  
'You, what!?' Emily asked forcefully, her tone making Alison wince, because it was far from the loving voice she was used to. 'I get that she was crossing a line, Ali but she was coming from a good place!'

'You don't understand' Alison spluttered, desperate to fix things and make them right, but it seemed all she was doing was digging a deeper hole for herself, and she was just waiting for Emily to bury her in it.  
'What don't I understand, Ali!?' Emily demanded, her eyes still boring into Alison as her hands pressed hard onto the counter top.  
'Em, there's...there's just still a lot that you don't know' Alison said softly, her voice weak and exhausted under the emotion she was holding inside of her.  
'So tell me!' Emily half pleaded with the blonde, though her tone did not lose the frustration it held, though that was mostly due to stubbornness than anything else. 'If you want us to work Ali, you've got to start being honest with me' she stated a little softer, her eyes softening as she took in the sight of a truly distraught Alison, and she wondered what else the blonde was keeping from her. What was going on in that head of hers, because Emily could see that the other woman was visibly fighting with something internally.  
'I can't ok?' Alison finally breathed, before biting down on her lip in thought, filled with confliction about what to do, before finally looking back up at Emily with the saddest blue eyes the brunette had ever seen and a look of utter defeat.

'Look...maybe Spencer's right. Maybe we're setting ourselves up for disaster, I mean, we're already arguing and I'll just hurt you eventually' Alison said, and everything about her looked as though saying those words was causing her the utmost pain. Emily's mouth dropped slightly in shock, because of everything she had expected the other woman to say, that was the last thing. She hadn't expected Alison to give up on them so quickly, especially when she clearly wanted the very opposite. Her heart was in her throat as she tried to find something to respond with, but really, when someone was telling you to forget about them, what was there to say? Emily wanted to fight for her, kick and scream and shout until the blonde took the words back, but all she could do was squeak out a sound, that could only be associated with the sound of someone's heart breaking.  
'Save yourself the heartache, Em' Alison continued, tears forming quickly in her eyes now, because she wished she could take the words back, but she knew that if Emily knew the truth, she would leave her anyway. This was the best way, for the both of them. 'Just forget about me and move on with your life. I'm not worth it' she finished, turning on her heels before making her way to the door. She couldn't stand there any longer. She couldn't stand there and look at the heartache she was, yet again, causing the woman who made her world spin around. The woman who her heart beat for and who put the very air in her lungs to breathe. Emily was, and always had been, her everything, and this wasn't how things were supposed to end.

Emily couldn't believe that this was happening. She couldn't believe that after less than 24 hours of pure bliss, Alison was preparing to walk out of her life again. No, she told herself. This isn't happening again.  
'Ali' she managed to squeak out as she stood up straight and made her way across the apartment in five large steps. 'I went to hell and back for you. _Because_ of you. And I will fight for you, because trust me, you're worth it!' She said with the most loving, soft voice she could muster, and Alison was caught off guard by the pure, unadulterated love that shone through those brown, watery eyes. Emily took Alison's shaking hands in her own, giving the blonde the strength to stay.  
'We've got some stuff to work through and we've got a lot to talk about, but we'll get there' Emily insisted, bringing one hand up to hook a strand of hair behind Alison's ear. 'I promise you, we will, you just need to talk to me. Tell me what's going on in that head of yours' she maintained eye contact the entire time, pouring her heart and soul into the other woman, who's tears were streaming down her cheeks now, and Emily thought that she had never looked more beautiful as she did then. So open and raw and honest.

'I can't' Alison sobbed as she shook her head, and the brunette could see the fear in the blonde's eyes.  
'Why?' Emily asked, her eyebrows knitting tightly together, because she thought they were getting somewhere. Alison looked away from Emily, her eyes dancing around the room as she tried to find something else to focus on, other than the eyes that could read into her very soul. Eventually she squeezed them shut tightly.  
'Because, if I tell you, you're going to hate me' she cried, tears still leaking out of tightly closed eyelids. Emily brought her thumb up to catch one, brushing it away with a tenderness that wanted to make Alison sob harder, because she didn't deserve this. She was a monster, and pretty soon, the other woman was going to find out just how much of one she was.  
'I could never hate you, you know that' Emily assured her softly, though her eyes still held an abundance of confusion and concern, and Alison knew that she had no choice but to tell the truth. She let out a deep breath and steadied herself, opening her eyes again. If this was the last time she was going to see the love in Emily's eyes, she wanted to drown in it.  
'You will when I tell you this' she said with a shaky voice, swallowing hard as she prepared herself to say the words that she hadn't told to anyone before.  
'Ali, just tell me' the brunette pushed with urgency, fear filling her voice at the words that were about to come out of Alison's mouth, because she was clueless as to what had gotten the blonde so shaken up.  
'I murdered my Father'


	14. Guilty

'Wh-What?' Emily stuttered, her eyes blinking hard as she stared at the woman in front of her. The world seemed to slow significantly in that moment, as her mind tried to comprehend the words that Alison was saying to her, her imagination creating unthinkable images of the woman she loved, murdering someone in cold blood, and it was all too much for her to get her head around.  
'I...Em...' Alison breathed, as she wrung her fingers uneasily. She watched with cautious eyes, as the brunette in front of her searched around the room, looking anywhere but at her, as if she were trying to find the answers to an unspoken question, and Alison couldn't help but wonder whether that question had to do with their possible future, or lack of as it may be. After a long, heavy period of silence, Emily finally shook her head and looked into longing eyes, that were pleading her to understand.  
'I'm sorry, I just don't understand...' She began, her voice soft yet heavy, as if the weight of the world lay on her in that second. Alison opened her mouth to talk, but was cut off almost instantly by the brunette, who was finding words creeping up her throat like vomit, though she had no idea what they were. 'It's impossible, you couldn't have-'

This time, it was Alison's turn to interrupt, misunderstanding the words that Emily was saying. She almost felt the need to prove that she had done what she had said, because it was apparent that the other woman didn't believe she was capable of such an act.  
'I'm not the person you think I am' Alison said with a shaky voice, 'I'm a monster' she added quietly, her eyes flicking to the ground as she spoke the two words that she believed more than anything, because she didn't feel worthy to even look at the pure, beautiful woman in front of her.  
'No, Ali. You're not. You're not a monster-' Emily replied, as she reached out and placed her hand gingerly upon the blonde's shoulder, needing to provide comfort of some sort, despite her mind racing with thoughts that Alison could be a murderer, and that fact was just inconceivable.  
'Yes, I am' Alison replied, giving Emily the tiniest of smiles, as if to say 'it's ok, I know it's true'. She had spent a lot of years debating the fact of her monstrosity with herself, and it was something she had come to terms with over time.  
'No, you're not Ali' She argued insistently. 'I don't know what happened, but your Dad isn't dead. He can't be, he moved out of his place a few years ago'

Alison's heart skipped a full beat, her eyes widening at Emily's words. It was impossible, she knew what she had done and she was sure that her Father hadn't survived that night.  
'What? That's...that's not possible.' She stuttered, fear filling her at the mere thought of the possibility of her Father still being alive, because she was sure that would mean that eventually he would find her. Emily moved closer to Alison and gently guided her to the couch, sitting beside the blonde, who looked clearly spooked by this conflicting information.  
'All I know is, the house was sold out of the blue not long after the funeral. Another family has lived there since and your Dad hasn't been seen' Emily explained cautiously, her eyes trained on Alison as she spoke. 'He's not living in Rosewood anymore, but as far as I know, he's very much alive.' Emily finished delicately, watching as Alison's mouth bobbed a few times, while the blonde tried to process the information. She spent years fighting with the guilt of having murdered the man who fathered her, only to be told that now that might not be true at all.  
'No...I...'

'Ali...what happened?' Emily asked, wanting to get some sort of sense from the woman beside her, because right now it looked like Alison was going to head into a full blown melt down, and she couldn't let that happen. Alison took a deep breath and turned to look into the warm, brown eyes that seemed to have the ability to ease her through any situation. She let out a deep breath and composed herself as she recalled that fateful night, but it was only when Emily's hand slid into hers, giving her the smallest squeeze of encouragement, that she was finally able to speak.  
'About a year after I left, I was in a pretty bad place' she began, looking down at the intertwined hands on her right thigh as she let the words flow from her lips. 'I was living with Eleanor and Seamus, but something wasn't right. I was down all the time, I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, I barely talked... I felt...numb, I guess, yet every time I closed my eyes, I saw him' Her stomach tightened as she remembered that feeling. How low and scared she felt all the time, and how the simplest of tasks, felt like the most exhausting, challenging thing to do. 'I could smell the whiskey off his breath, see the anger in his eyes and I could feel his hands on me, and that made me angry. One day, something inside of me just flipped, and I decided that I didn't want to be scared anymore. I spoke to a guy that Seamus trains at the gym. He knew a guy, who knew a guy, who could get me an unlicensed gun. So, I paid him $400 and I bought the gun with a round of bullets, and I got on the first bus to Rosewood.'

 _Alison walked up the long, dark driveway to the house that she used to call home. It's strange, she thought, that this house that had held so many happy memories, and she was sure she would never want to leave, was now the bearer of nightmares and cause her to feel physically sick at the mere sight of it. She pushed herself past the rosebushes, that were now dead due to the years of neglect since her Mother had left. Alison had tried to keep up with the care of her Mother's pride and joy, but she soon found that she didn't have the green fingers that the older woman did, and the once beautiful garden quickly began to wilt. As she reached the door and made her way up the few steps to the porch, she found herself having to take a deep breath and steady herself. She shoved her hand into her jacket pocket, feeling the butt of the gun that was nestled safely there. Her fingers trembled against the cool metal as the reality of what she was about to do, hit her hard. She almost turned back, fear and doubt kicking in, but it was her stubbornness that pushed her through the front door. It wasn't locked, naturally. Her Father had never been one for home security. She made her way into the pitch black of the hall, the silence of the house deafening, the only sound being the faint murmur of the tv coming from the living room. Alison took a deep breath, her fingers clutching around the gun again for courage, as she made her way towards the living room door and slowly pushed it open. The loud creak of the old door made her jump slightly, even though it had creaked the exact same way since she was ten years old. Her heart was pounding as she took a step into the room, the only dull light coming from the TV in the corner. She instantly spotted the older man in the chair at the edge of the room. He had aged somewhat over the past year or so, Alison noticed. His wrinkles were more defined, his hair greyer and he seemed to have a weary look to him, almost frail looking. She stood over him, her breathing feeling heavier by the second as she looked down at the man who had once been her protector. The man who had given her piggy backs and tickled her until she almost peed. The man who had helped calm her nightmares, only to become one._

 _Crinkled eyelids flicked upwards, revealing the cold, grey orbs beneath them, and Alison almost visibly flinched at the sight of the dead eyes before her. She held her ground, angry blue eyes staring straight into emotionless, stone coloured irises._  
 _'Alison?' He wheezed in disbelieve, his voice weak and full of phlegm as he sat up to take a closer look. His eyes widened, and Alison could see the blur of intoxication reflected back at her, the smell of old Whisky from his breath invading her nostrils as he drew closer in the seat. For the first time, she noticed that his usual perfected appearance had been replaced with a tattered shirt and old black pants, and from the state of them, it looked as though he had been wearing them for a while. It looked as though the older man hadn't cleaned himself, or the house, in a long time, and a part of Alison pitied him for that. Clearly he must be in some form of ill mental health to have let himself and his home grow into such disrepair. That pity lasted for exactly 0.6 of a second, before the anger of what this man had done to their family came back in full force._  
 _'I thought...' The older man started, his voice low and gravelly as he looked up at the blonde woman, who was no longer the little girl he had raised; no longer the teenager who was visibly afraid of him. Instead, before him, stood a strong, angry woman, who had been through a world of pain and was ready to get her revenge._

 _'You thought what?' She spat, as her Father sat in shock, his mouth bobbing as he searched for the words to say. 'You thought you'd actually beat me to death?' She asked rhetorically, letting out a low chuckle as her fingers gripped tighter on the gun in her pocket._  
 _'How wrong you were, Daddy' she snipped, her teeth clenching as she seethed with pent up anger at the way she had been treated by her so-called Father._  
 _'You thought you could get away with it' she continued, as hot tears sprung to her eyes. 'Thought you could dump me like a piece of trash and just walk away and forget about me!' She began to yell as angry tears formed in her eyes at the memory of that night. Her hands shook as she pulled the gun from her pocket and held it against her thigh. It felt heavy in her hand, though she knew that the heaviness she felt was not from the weapon, but from the knowledge of what she planned to do with it. Ken's eyes flickered to the firearm that was now resting by the blonde's side, his heart began to quicken at the sight of it and a clammy sweat shimmered across his brow._

 _'You wouldn't...' he trailed off through a strangled voice, his eyes flicking from Alison's eyes to the gun in her hand. 'You wouldn't shoot your own Father' he claimed, almost as if to convince himself of the fact._  
 _'Wouldn't I? After what you did to me, I think it's the least you deserve' Alison spat, and a part of her, the rational part that was screaming that this was madness, was shocked at her own behaviour. It was the other part of her that won though. The angry, hurt and betrayed part of Alison that stopped her from sleeping at night and reenacted that hellish night over and over again in her mind. The part of her that wanted revenge for what had happened to her and wanted the very man in front of her to suffer even a fraction of the way she had. The part of her who wanted to destroy everyone and everything that had caused her to lose everything that was good in her life. It was that part of her that had her lifting the gun with an unsteady hand and silently whispered '_ do it _'._

'Sometimes, if I close my eyes, I still hear the shot going off' Alison continued, tears spilling down her full cheeks as she re-told the story that she hadn't yet recalled to anyone. 'I can feel the backfire as I pulled the trigger. The bile that rose in my throat the second I heard the bang'  
'Ali...' Emily whispered, filled with a mixture of shock at the story Alison had just told her, and pain at the thought of the blonde suffering with this alone. 'I don't know what to say. I...Are you sure you shot him?' She stuttered, shaking her head slightly, as if to unjumble the words in her head.  
'I-I don't know...' Alison attempted to reply as she rubbed away the tears on her cheeks with the back of her hand. 'I was so shocked that I actually pulled the trigger, I just ran' she explained, and Emily felt her heart break a little bit more than it already had, because in front of her was the Alison she knew and loved, yet she blonde had spent years convincing herself that this one act made her a terrible person.  
'So...you didn't actually see whether you shot him or not?' Emily asked, needing to get all of the facts, because she was sure that Ken DiLaurentis was still out there somewhere. She just wasn't sure if that was necessarily a good thing or not.  
'I was so sure I had, but...I guess...maybe there's a chance that I didn't' Alison reasoned, her tears slowing as she tried to put the pieces of that night together in her mind. She wanted to remember something, but if she was honest, most of the before and after was a blur, she just remembered that moment of pulling the trigger. 'I mean, if he's still alive...all of this, the running, being away from you...it was all pointless. All these years, all the fear and issues that I've battled with were for nothing. I felt guilty for years because of that night, and the bastard is still alive and kicking!' She ranted, anger growing through her at the thought of her Father having, once again, dictated her life in a round a bout way.

'It wasn't pointless, Ali. You ran because of what he did to you' Emily stressed, placing her other hand over their linked fingers, that still rested against Alison's leg. She knew that she needed to be the strong one now, and it felt good. 'Honestly, if he _is_ alive, I'm just shocked that he didn't come after you when he found out that _you_ were alive' she stated casually, not realising the impact that these words would have on the woman beside her. Alison's stomach contracted again, her breath hitching in her throat as nightmare after nightmare ran through her mind.  
'Maybe he did' she managed to spit out, as she ripped her hand away from Emily's and almost pounced from the couch.  
'What?' The brunette asked, her eyebrows furrowing as she watched the clearly panicked blonde pace back and forth in front of her.  
'You said he's not living in Rosewood anymore, maybe that's why he left. To find me. To finish off the job before he got found out' Alison rambled, her words becoming more hurried by the second.  
'You don't know that. We don't even know if he's alive or not' Emily countered in an attempt to calm down the frantic blonde woman, though it seemed to fall on deaf ears. Alison continued to pace back and forth, muttering to unintelligibly to herself, while Emily watched with concern.  
'I've gotta get out of here, Em. Before he finds me' Alison said, finally turning to the brunette for the first time in what seemed like an age.

'What!?' Emily almost shouted, taken aback by the sudden decision. She had thought that everything was ok now, that she and Alison would work things out and finally have their happy ever after, and now the other woman was walking about leaving her again.  
'If I stay here, he'll find me and he'll kill me. I've gotta go' Alison replied in an urgency that chilled Emily to the core. The blonde woman practically ran across the apartment, grabbing a holdall from Emily's closet.  
'Wait, you can't just leave!' The brunette cried as she jumped up from the couch and followed the other woman across the apartment.  
'What choice do I have, Emily!?' Alison argued, as she quickly began to grab her own clothing that was scattered in and amongst the brunette's belongings. Had she not been in such a state of panic, Alison probably would have felt a little sad at having to separate the clothing and various different items that had so quickly become a part of Emily's apartment. It was amazing really, how naturally they had begun to co-exist in such a short space of time. It had felt so normal, like they were meant to belong together.

'You can stay here with me, and we can figure this whole thing out' Emily replied desperately, because the mere thought of Alison leaving was torturous. The past few days with Alison by her side, in her bed and everything in between, had been the best in a long time, and Emily wasn't ready to let that go. She didn't ever want to let that go. 'You don't even know if he's alive!' She added, a small flicker of hope igniting within her that maybe, just maybe this was enough to keep Alison from running again.  
'I can't do that, Em. I can't take the risk' Alison stated as she shoved handfuls of clothes into the bag, not even stopping to fold them as they got forced into the small holdall.  
'Ali, this is crazy, you can't just leave!' Emily practically shouted, anger and hurt filling her at the thought of Alison going back on her promise that she would never leave. 'You said you'd never leave me again' she found herself saying, causing the blonde to stop in her tracks. Alison paused for a second before turning to Emily, her eyes softening at the sight of the sadness that was reflected in those chocolate coloured orbs.  
'You're right' Alison said, as she took Emily's hands in her own. 'I promised you I'd never leave you, and I still stand by that' she added with sincerity, and it was enough to calm Emily just a bit. The brunette smiled at these words, hoping that they could get through this together without anymore ups and downs.

'We'll leave together' Alison added in a beat, dropping Emily's hands and turning away to continue packing up the clothes that she was previously stuffing into the bag. Emily stood, dumbfounded by this new request, if you could even call it a request.  
'What?' She managed to squeak out, but Alison was already back in her previous frame of mind, formulating a plan of escape and thinking of places they could go to that would be safe.  
'Grab anything you think you'll need, but not too much. We need to travel light' Alison stated matter-of-factly, unaware of the conflicted brunette that stood frozen to the spot behind her.  
'Ali'  
'Bring any cash you but not your card, that can be traced' Alison continued, reeling off any important pieces of information that Emily needed to know. All the do's and dont's that she had learned over the years of hiding in plain sight. 'You'll need to leave your phone here too, so maybe you should give your Mom a call and say-'  
'Ali! Stop!' Emily yelled, causing the blonde to stop and turn back to her. Emily could see the fear shining back in the other woman's ocean blue eyes, and for the first time, she thought that Alison looked truly broken. She knew that she would have to tread carefully with these next words, because Alison was likely to bolt at any moment, whether Emily was with her or not.

'Running isn't the answer here' she said softly, her brow furrowing in concern and empathy for the woman in front of her, who she was terrified of losing again. 'We can fix this' she added, wanting Alison to listen to her and trust her that there was no need to panic.  
'How? How do we fix this?' Alison asked, her tone laced with a vulnerability that made Emily want to agree to run anywhere with her right there and then. She knew that they could possibly be taking a risk if Alison's Father was alive, more so now that she and the girls were in contact with the blonde after all these years. There was more risk of her being found out now, than ever before.  
'I don't know' She confessed solemnly, because she really wished she had all the answers. That she could provide Alison with the security and comfort that the blonde had provided to her over the past few weeks. 'What I do know, is that I won't let anything happen to you. I went so long without you in my life, I'm not about to lose you again' she added, hoping that this promise was enough to make Alison feel safe enough, for now at least. Alison remained still as she tried to make a decision. Her head was telling her to run, to get as far away as possible before she could be found, but her entire body was anchoring her to the spot, her heart screaming at her to not walk away from Emily again.  
'Don't leave me. Please...' Emily practically begged, as if she could read the thoughts that were swirling around Alison's mind, and in that moment, the blonde knew that there was no way she could walk out on the brunette she had already missed so many years with. Alison closed the gap between them in a single step and pulled the other woman, whose eyes shimmered with unshed tears, into her body. Their lips met in a single, lingering peck that spoke a thousand words.  
'Of course I wouldn't leave you...' She whispered against Emily's pillowed lips 'I promise, I'm not going anywhere' she added for good measure, before leaning in to capture the other woman's lips again. She didn't know how she would feel safe again, not until she found out the truth about her Father anyway, but she knew that with Emily beside her, they could get through anything.


	15. Consequences

_To say that their night had been eventful would be an understatement. Both Emily and Alison had felt emotionally drained from the blonde's revelation, and Emily couldn't shake the anxiety that sat within her. Alison had been on edge all evening, and while she still maintained that she wouldn't leave her, Emily couldn't help but feel that it was only a matter of time before she lost her again._

 _'_ _Em_ _?' Alison whispered from beside her, cerulean eyes fixed on Chestnut coloured orbs. Her brow furrowed as she took in the confliction and fear that she could see reflected back at her, and she wished that in that moment, she could read the other woman's mind. She wanted to know what Emily was thinking about, because she didn't know how to make this better. Emily had gone from being supportive and strong, to quiet and withdrawn in little to no time at all. Alison had tenderly led her to bed, where they were now lying face to face, their eyes locked on each other's, though it felt like Emily was looking through her rather than at her._

 _'Hey' she tried again bring her hand up to Emily's tanned face. Alison brushed the back of her knuckles softly over the other woman's rounded cheek, causing the brunette to blink slowly. When her eyes opened again, they seemed to have a bit more life in them; she seemed more lucid than a few seconds previously._  
 _'Yeah?' Emily replied, almost shaking herself out of whatever daze she had been in. Alison still wasn't sure what had caused the brunette to switch off, though she had a pretty good idea. She knew that Emily was struggling with her own demons as much as she herself was, and the thought that she was driving the brunette to have to fight with the urges that were very much a daily struggle for her, was painful to see. She knew that in Emily's mind, she was probably fighting the urge to deal with her stress the only way she knew how. What she didn't know though, was that the simple act of being close to Alison, was helping strengthen the brunette's desire to push past the need for alcohol. It was as if Alison was the magic potion that Emily needed in order to fight her addictions, and simply looking into her eyes was enough for the tanned woman to push back the voice in her head that told her to drink, if only for the beautiful blonde in front of her._

 _'I'm so sorry,_ _Em_ _' Alison whispered, as she blinked back tears._  
 _'For what?' Emily asked, instantly shuffling forward at the sight of the tears that flooded the beautiful blue eyes that seemed to make her heart leap time and time again. Emily brought her hand up to rest against Alison's jaw, her thumb brushing back and forth across the swell of a flushed cheekbone._  
 _'For everything' Alison replied, shaking her head softly. 'Everything I've put you through, what I'm still putting you through. I ruined your life by leaving you, and then I come back and ruin it all over again' she swallowed hard as her throat grew tight, the tears in her eyes threatening to tumble down her perfect features, while her heart felt heavy in her chest. She couldn't help but feel that Emily would be better off without her. She wished that she had had the strength to walk away earlier. She should have left while she had the motions set in plan. The bag had been packed, all she had to do was walk out of the door, and Emily would be fine. But then again, Alison knew that if she left, the brunette would be far from fine. In fact, it would probably tip her so far over the edge that she'd never come back to herself again. Hanna had managed to pull her back from self-destruction once, Alison wasn't sure the other blonde would have the ability to do it again though, and it was that thought that kept her from bolting from the bed in that moment, while her mind became filled with thoughts of self-loathing and guilt for what she had done to the perfect angel that lay before her._

 _'Don't say that' Emily shook her head subtly as she leaned herself up on her elbow so that she was now peering down at the blonde beside her. Emily slid her hand down Alison's neck, trailing it across her shoulder and down her arm, until she linked their hands together. 'You could never ruin my life, Ali. Not a chance' she stated certainly, her eyes traipsing up and down the other woman's face as she tried to get a read on where these words had come from._  
 _'We both know that you'd have been better off if I had never come back' Alison muttered earnestly, blinking hard as she looked away from Emily, fighting like hell to keep the tears at bay, but she wasn't sure how much longer she could hold them for. 'Everyone would be better off. I'm just...poison. I seep into people's lives and suck the good out of them, and I leave behind nothing but pain and misery. I mean, I did it to you, I did it to Riley. Hell, my own Mother_ left _me, I was so bad. Why anyone else would want to be around me, I have no idea'' she continued, and Emily grew more and more concerned with every word, her heart aching at the sound of Alison putting herself down so much._  
 _'Ali, stop' Emily said a little too firmly, causing Alison's eyes to snap to her. 'Don't you dare think that you have anything but good inside of you' she added in a softer voice, her hand squeezing Alison's tightly._  
 _'But-'_

 _'No' Emily interrupted. 'Look, it almost killed me when I lost you before, and yeah things were tough for a really long time, but when you came back to me, I thought my heart was going to burst right out of my chest, and that was just at the sight of you' she smiled softly, as she remembered that day a few weeks ago, that felt like a lifetime ago already. 'I know that we've been through a lot with Riley and my drinking, and now your Dad, but I want to go through that with you. I want to support you through the tough times, because the good times are...amazing. We might have drama in our lives, but you bring so much light and love into it. More than anyone else ever could, and I just wish you could see how happy you make me.' Emily stopped her speech, both women's tears falling free now, though they were more happy than sad. Alison was rarely found speechless, but Emily had managed to make her lose the ability to respond. Tears burned her eyes and her cheeks grew hot, and she had never felt so incredibly loved by anyone before._  
 _'I love you, Ali' Emily breathed, the silence that had lingered between them previously was almost deafening, and she had found the words spilling out of her mouth before she could just, stop. 'I love you so much, and I cannot lose you again' She let go of Alison's hand and brought her palm to rest firmly against the other woman's cheek, the heat from her flushed skin almost burning against Emily's hand. 'Please, don't make me go through losing you again' she practically begged, and Alison could see the pain that flickered there at the mere thought of her leaving._

 _Alison wanted to open her mouth and promise that she wasn't leaving, that she wouldn't even leave this bed if Emily didn't want her to, and she'd mean it. Alison knew that she would do anything and everything for the brunette, she'd pluck each and every star from the sky, if that was what made Emily happy. She wanted to tell Emily that there was nobody else in the entire universe who could make her feel so incredibly wholesome and full of love, and that she couldn't give that feeling up if she tried. She wanted to say all of this and so much more, but her mouth just couldn't seem to move. Her throat was dry and her eyes were flooding, and Alison just wished that she wasn't such a colossal idiot when it came to expressing herself vocally, because words weren't her strong suit. She couldn't vocalise her feelings the way Emily could, not without sounding like she was knocking off a cheesy 80s movie, anyway. Instead, she expressed herself the only way she knew how. She gripped her hand around the back of Emily's neck, and pulled her in. Their lips met in a crashing kiss, the brunette instantly reacting to the sudden movement. Emily moaned into the kiss, which deepened quickly. Alison felt Emily's hands gripping her hips, before the brunette rolled them so the blonde was now lying on top of her. Their worries were quickly forgotten after that, as hungry kisses were trailed against sweat-glistened skin, clothing was ripped from their bodies and tossed aside. Fingers and hands groped and roamed and touched, and their moans and groans of pleasure became littered with curse words and filled the air around them._

Emily stirred, her body stretching as she let out a quiet yawn, her eyes flickering open to a sight she knew she could get used to. She didn't even _want_ to stop the smile that spread across her face at the sight of a very naked Alison, lying flat on her back with her arms above her head, her breasts bare and uncovered in all their glory, the cover having been kicked down the bed until it bunched at her waist. Emily found her eyes trailing the length of the paler woman's torso, taking in every line and mark on her skin, every dip and curve that made up her figure. She wanted to memorize every inch of Alison. She reached out with a lone finger, ghosting it tenderly from Alison's sternum and down her chest, between her breasts, until she reached her belly button. She watched as goosepimples rose on the other woman's soft skin, her body's way of reacting to the ticklish touch, and Emily never thought she'd be so amazed by such a simple thing. She was amazed by Alison's body, in fact she was amazed by Alison's everything. She just couldn't get enough.

Emily rose her eyes back up the length of Alison's body, until she reached her face again. She froze when she saw curious eyes watching her every move and a subtle smile on pillowed lips.  
'Sorry, I-' Emily started to apologise, pulling her finger back as though it had been burned. Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment, and Emily's eyes automatically flicked away from the amused turquoise orbs that were watching her so very carefully, and instead fixed onto a spot on the bed, as far away from the body of the other woman as possible. Alison couldn't help but let out a silent chuckle at Emily's skittish behaviour, her clear embarrassment at having been caught admiring the other woman's body overwhelming her. Alison decided to put Emily out of her misery and wordlessly sat up, allowing the cover to fall even more, so that it was pooled in her lap. She leaned over Emily and latched their lips together into a firm, passionate kiss. Long fingers instantly tangled into dark locks in an effort to anchor the other woman into place. Their lips lingered for several seconds, before Alison pulled away, her eyes closed as she rested her head against Emily's. She let out a content sigh as she relaxed into the brunette's body.  
'What was that for?' Emily asked, recovering from the shock of the surprise kiss, not that she was complaining in the slightest. She rested her hand against the curve of Alison's hip, her thumb brushing lovingly across soft skin.  
'For being you' Alison answered surely, as she opened her eyes. Emily could feel the love emanating from the blonde. Her heart swelled in her chest at Alison's expression, who was looking at her as though she were the most precious thing that ever existed.

Alison lowered herself back onto her side, settling beside Emily so that they were face to face, much like the previous night. A comfortable silence settled over them, both happy to just be in the loved up bliss that had fallen over them, and neither of them wanting to break it. Emily's hand lay resting against Alison's bare hip, her thumb drawing light circles against the crook of Alison's pelvis. Alison would be lying if she said that the touch didn't turn her on, and as much as she wanted to lose herself in the feeling of Emily, she was also very much enjoying the subtle intimacy of the moment they were sharing. Their eyes held silent conversations, though not a single word was spoken verbally for a good ten minutes. It was Emily who finally broke the satisfying silence between them, her thumb still drawing shapes against Alison's hip.  
'How are you feeling today?' She asked, her eyes searching Alison's face for any sign of how the blonde might be feeling, though she was coming up blank.  
'Ok, I guess' the blonde replied nonchalantly, her lips pouting as she shrugged one shoulder. The simple gesture spoke volumes to Emily, though most people would probably be satisfied with the neutrality of the answer and dropped the conversation. She knew that Alison's mind was probably still racing, as much as she might try to hide it. She wanted to push, needing to know exactly what was going on in that beautiful mind, but she also knew that pushing only led to Alison shutting down all together.

Emily nodded her head slowly, biting down on the corner of her mouth, her eyes still fixed on transcendent blue eyes.  
'You still want to run out on me?' She asked casually, her voice light and airy in a way that stopped the question from being intrusive, and more inquisitive. Alison hummed to herself, her eyes flicking away from Emily's and her mouth screwing up as though she were in thought.  
'I guess not' she answered playfully, her lips forming into that killer smirk that used to drive Emily wild. The tanned woman laughed and rolled her eyes, the atmosphere remaining light and free spirited, and Emily hoped that they would come to a point where their lives could be like this all of the time. She wanted to wake up next to Alison every single day and spend a lifetime just appreciating how beautiful and funny and smart the blonde was. She wanted to spend the rest of her life loving the woman beside her, and being loved back just as much. Still, she knew that they had a long stretch ahead of them before they could get to that stage, but she knew that there was nobody she'd rather go through it with.  
'We'll get through this together, ok?' She spoke her thoughts aloud, causing the tension to shift ever so slightly. Though there was still a lightness about the room, it hung just a smidge heavier than it had previously, at the mention of the elephant in the room.  
'I'll be right by your side the entire time. I promise' Emily added, her hand leaving Alison's hip to brush back a strand of stray hair that had fallen across the other woman's face.

Alison nodded in understanding; she knew that there was no way Emily was going to let her go through this whole thing alone. It didn't make her feel any better about the situation though. She knew that she could be putting Emily in danger just by being around her if her Dad was still in fact alive and kicking.  
'So...' Alison huffed out a breath, her eyes her face deep in thought. 'What do we do?' She asked, her eyes searching Emily's for an answer, because she couldn't even think clear right now, let alone formulate a plan to find out if her assumed dead Father was actually dead. Emily looked at her with the most heartbreakingly sympathetic look, and Alison almost had to look away.  
'Well, obviously we need to find out what really happened' Emily began, her voice remaining light, though her eyes cautiously searched for any sign that this was too much for Alison. 'I think the best way to do that is with some help from people who have the ability to find things out. People who have connections' she finished, trying her best to ease Alison into her idea, though the blonde wasn't stupid, she knew exactly what Emily was getting at.  
'You mean...' she started, before stopping with a sigh. Her lips pursed together as she considered the idea that was being proposed. Emily didn't confirm, nor deny, Alison's theory, instead she flashed the other woman a sheepish grin and remained silent while the blonde processed her thoughts.

'Yeah...ok' Spencer mumbled into her phone as she paced back and forth across the kitchen, while Aria watched, her wide eyes swinging back and forth as though she were playing tennis, her hands wrapping around a warm mug.  
'Mhmm' Spencer hummed, nodding her head as she agreed with whoever was on the other end of the line. 'Ok, bye' she finished after a few moments, hanging up the phone and letting out a deep groan. Aria was about to open her mouth to ask who she had been talking to, when Spencer began to rant and ramble.  
'That was Emily. She wants me to head over there today' She began, as she slammed her phone down on the table and began to pour herself a very large, very strong cup of black coffee. 'Of course, she couldn't tell me why, she just expects that I'll go through my day perfectly fine and show up later this evening so she and Ali can drop some kind of bomb on me, like I'm freaking Hiroshima!' Aria's eyes widened at the sight of an unhinged Spencer, though it wasn't the first time she had seen the taller brunette lose it, and she was sure it wouldn't be the last.  
'Wow. She threw that at you before your morning coffee? She's a brave woman' the smaller brunette stated caustically, her lips pressed together and her eyebrows raised, as though she was genuinely impressed with Emily's timing.  
'Not the time for jokes, Ar' Spencer shot, as she turned and leaned her back against the counter, while her hands cradled the large mug of steaming hot coffee, as though they were cradling a baby. The fumes alone seemed to calm the taller brunette significantly, much to Aria's delight.

'Look, I get why you're worried, but maybe this is a good thing' Aria suggested as she picked up a piece of toast, holding it between her forefinger and thumb. 'Maybe she just wants to talk through what happened last night' the shorter woman added with a shrug of the shoulders. Her optimism really was something to be admired, and Spencer for one, was glad to have the optimistic woman in her life.  
'I don't know, she sounded...off. Like, something wasn't right' Spencer replied, shaking her head as she looked down into her coffee cup, willing it to cool enough for her to drink, though she was so desperate for a caffeine fix, she was tempted to risk the third degree burns and just down the entire cup. These words seemed to pique Aria's curiosity even more, and she was willing to admit that the thought of Emily being 'off' in any way, shape or form worried her.  
'You think maybe things with Ali didn't go so well last night?' She asked thoughtfully, because honestly that was the only thing she could think of right now that would put Emily in a bad mood.  
'I don't know' Spencer sighed before taking a sip from her scalding coffee. She had decided she was willing to risk the burns, she couldn't wait anymore. She already had a migraine looming, and it was going to be a long day. 'They can't have gone that bad, otherwise I wouldn't be getting a call from Em at all right now. Chances are she'd be burying herself a mixture of Whisky and cheap beer' she stated bluntly.

Aria didn't reply straight away, bopping her head from side to side not wanting to agree, but not necessarily disagreeing either. While Hanna and Spencer were much more blunt about Emily's drinking problem, Aria approached it with much more subtlety and was more inclined to believe that the other woman wasn't necessarily reaching for the bottle every time something went awry, though she did seem to be proven wrong time and time again, because that seemed to be pretty much exactly the way Emily handled anything remotely stressful in her life.  
'Maybe there's nothing to worry about' Aria tried to calm her clearly anxious friend. 'Just relax Spence, it'll be ok' she added in the most reassuring voice she could muster at the current hour of the morning.  
'I hope so' Spencer mumbled against the rim of her cup, before practically pouring the black coffee into her mouth. Aria watched sympathetically, trying to think of a way that she could help.  
'I can come with you, if you like?' She offered, raising an eyebrow as she shrugged, as if to say it was no big deal, but Spencer shook her head almost immediately.  
'No, I think it's best I go alone' she explained after swallowing a large gulp of coffee. 'If there is something going on, I don't want to spook either of them' Spencer added, as she placed her now empty cup on the counter.

'Ok, well...just give me a call if you need me' the shorted brunette replied simply, turning back to the book that was splayed out on the table in front of her, her piece of toast still placed between her fingers.  
'Will do' Spencer replied, walking over towards the table. Aria was just about to place the corner of the toast to her mouth, when the taller woman took it from her fingers and bit the corner off.  
'Thanks' she mumbled, holding up the piece of toast as she walked out of the kitchen, causing Aria's brow to furrow and her lips to pout.  
'I was eating that!' she called after Spencer, who chuckled in the background. Aria let out a puff of air from her nose, before getting up to make herself some more.  
'And I thought Hanna was the one I had to watch my food around' she grumbled to herself, as she stuck a slice of bread into the toaster.

Alison sang along with the radio, as she pulled a chair down from on top of a table, placing it on the ground and tucking it beneath the table top. Sun beamed in through the blinds, casting shadows across the diner and a golden glow shimmered across the walls and floor. She was just about finished taking down the chairs, when she heard the bell of the front door, causing her to look up. The diner didn't open for another 40 minutes, so she knew exactly who had just entered.  
'Hey, stranger' came the hint of an Irish accent that immediately brought a smile to Alison's face, though it didn't do anything to quell the nerves in her tummy. She was very aware that Eleanor would probably know what had happened between her and Seamus, and Alison knew that she was going to get a scolding for it.  
'Hey El' she greeted cheerfully, as she began to refill the salt shakers behind the counter.  
'You haven't been around the past few days' Eleanor stated casually, as she made her way over towards the restaurant side of the counter. 'Thought you'd forgotten where your home is' she added, as she plonked a wicker basket down onto the counter, causing Alison to look up with a hunger in her eyes.  
'As if I could forget. I can smell your bread all the way over in Manhattan' she chuckled, her eyes fixed on the beautifully golden brown bread rolls, that were still warm from the oven and smelled so good, they made Alison's mouth water.

Eleanor chuckled at the blonde's expression, her eyes wide and sparkling, as though she had just found love for the very first time.  
'You never could get enough of the bread rolls, could you pet' the older woman laughed, causing Alison to finally stop looking at the bread as if she wanted to make out with it. Eleanor watched as the blonde went back to filling the salt shakers, leaning against the counter on her elbows.  
'So how you been holding up?' she asked, a more serious edge to her tone than before, and Alison knew that they were about to talk about the very thing she definitely did _not_ want to talk about.  
'Fine' she replied, flashing Eleanor a tight-lipped smile, before looking back down at the salt shaker in her hand.  
'Is that so?' The older woman challenged, not believing a word that came out of Alison's mouth. Her eyebrow cocked in a way that told the blonde to not even try to lie, and Alison knew that she wasn't getting away with it. Not this time anyway. She placed the salt shaker onto the counter a little harder than intended and let out a frustrated sigh.  
'Seamus told you about our argument' she stated, her lips pursing together as she braced herself for the lecture she was sure Eleanor would give her.  
'Argument...that's not the word he used to describe it now' the older woman responded, her lips pulled into a tight line as her eye held an accusatory glaze, causing Alison to relent.  
'Ok, so I snapped at him' she admitted with a huff, her arms crossing over her chest defensively.

'Mhm' Eleanor hummed knowingly, her eyes trailing up and down Alison as she pursed her lips disapprovingly. She could see that the blonde was just being defensive and trying to protect herself, but Eleanor knew that she was treading a fine line.  
'You know he's just looking out for you' she stated softly, as she busied herself placing the still warm bread rolls into the Perspex shelving on the back counter, while Alison began to fill the condiments caddies with sauce bottles, salt and pepper shakers, and folded napkins.  
'I don't need someone looking out for me' she replied bluntly, stopping herself when she felt her defences rise. She glanced up at the older woman, before grabbing a caddy and heading towards a table nearby to the counter. 'Not when it comes to Emily, anyway' she added softer, her heart leaping into her throat at the mere mention of the brunette. Alison stopped herself from looking up at the older woman, too afraid to look at the only maternal figure she had in her life, who was able to see right through her. Right now, the young blonde was aware that she was living in a happy(ish) bubble, but that was the way she wanted it to stay. For now, at least.  
'Are you forgetting what happened before?' Came the question. It was the looming finger, threatening to pop that perfect bubble of security. The bubble that was protecting Alison from the harsh light of day, and she wasn't ready for it to be popped yet.

'No, but-'  
'Then you know why were worried about you' the finger drew closer, and Alison could practically feel the bubble stretching around her, about to burst at any moment. 'Since you got back in contact with Emily, you've stopped going to your therapy sessions and we just don't want you to go backwards' and there it was. The bubble popped with the mention of the one thing that Alison had been avoiding, and if she was honest, ignoring completely. The one thing that showed just how truly fucked up she was, and it made her feel more ashamed and weak than anything she had been through. It was the one thing that showed just how broken her Father had made her, and she wasn't prepared to deal with that.  
'I'm fine. I've got everything under control' she snapped, as she slammed the last condiments holder down onto a table. Eleanor's eyebrow rose at the reaction, which definitely did not sound like someone who had everything under control.  
'Do you really?' Eleanor questioned, turning her full attention to the younger woman with her hands on her hips. 'Because you thought you were in control before and then-'  
'I told Emily about it, you know' Alison interrupted, causing the older woman to freeze, her eyes narrowing, silently questioning exactly what she had told Emily.  
'About my Dad. About what I did' the blonde explained with a soft anxiety to her voice, as she made her way over to the counter. She perched herself onto a stool as she felt everything build up inside of her.

'I thought we agreed that we'd never talk about it again?' Eleanor asked with wide eyes, clear panic flooding through the burnt orange orbs that reminded Alison of leaves in Fall. 'I thought we'd agreed to forget about this and move on. You'd go to therapy, do whatever it took to make you well again, and you'd look towards the future. How can you do that if you're locked away in a jail cell for murder!?' the older woman rambled, shaking her head a little as if she could shake the information out of it and forget what Alison had just told her.  
'Emily wouldn't- She understood, she was there for me' Alison argued, tripping over her own words, as she wanted desperately to explain to Eleanor what she had found out. She didn't want to hear warnings or get a lecture, she wanted reassurance from the one constant being she had had in her life. Alison let out a heavy breath as she tried to compose her words in her mind before speaking again. She wanted Eleanor to understand and to offer her support, though she would never admit it aloud.  
'Emily told me that my Dad sold our family home' she began in a calmer voice, her eyes stinging as she spoke the words that had be all she could think of since the night before. 'She doesn't think that he's dead, so we're going to do something to find out what the situation is' she explained, as she folded her hands between her thighs, needing to keep them still. She could feel her fingers shaking between her legs, and as much as it worried her, she pushed the fear aside and focused solely on the woman in front of her, who had paled significantly.

Silence fell across the room for a brief moment, the older woman not knowing quite what to say in response, and Alison sat with a fearful, yet patient look on her face as she waited for Eleanor to say something.  
'Alison...this is a dangerous path you're going down' the older red-headed woman said cautiously. 'Why not just live your life? Stop looking back in the past and concentrate on the future. If that's with Emily, then so be it, but-'  
'I _am_ trying to concentrate on my future' Alison abruptly interrupted, composing herself quickly before she continued. 'But the only way I can do that is if I know for sure that I'm not in any danger. I need to do this' she stated surely, yet much softer than before. Their eyes locked for a brief moment, and Eleanor could see, reflected back in the purest blue eyes she had ever seen, the desperation to get to the bottom of this. The determination and frustration that coursed throughout the young blonde, and she knew that if she tried to stop Alison from doing this, it was a fight she would not win.  
'Ok. I understand' she replied softly, though she didn't, she really didn't. She wanted to shake Alison and tell her what a stupid thing this was, but she knew that would do nothing but push the younger woman away. Instead, she did what any Mother would do. She kept her mouth shut and offered support, and reminded herself over and over that Alison was an adult and could make her own decisions.  
'I'll be here if you need me. You know that. Seamus too' she added, wanting to make it clear that even if she wasn't fully comfortable with the decision, she was still there for the other woman.  
'Thank you' Alison replied, her voice barely a whisper.

Emily hummed to herself as she tapped away at the keyboard, inserting the remaining notes from her last patient into the system. She had thrown herself fully into work, wanting to get through the day with as little thought about Alison's Dad as possible, and for the most past, it worked. She had barely had time to think about the situation that, she was sure, would take up the majority of her evening. It wasn't that she minded, in fact it was quite the opposite, she would help Alison with whatever, whenever. She just wished that they could have some time to get to know each other properly again and get a feel for whatever their so called relationship was, without having drama in the way. That was what she wanted. A drama-free, Ali-filled life. She smiled at the thought, her insides warming at the thought of having a forever with the woman that seemed to make the world that bit brighter. She clicked on her screen to see who her next patient was, letting out a small groan when she saw that it was the very patient she had been dreading all morning, Miss Turner. Emily was fully aware that she had crossed a very definitive line the last time this particular patient had come to see her, and the brunette had never regretted crossing boundaries more than she did right now.

Emily quickly decided that she would get through the appointment quickly and easily, whilst avoiding the subject of the last meeting completely, other than the medical facts, of course. She quickly browsed the patient notes before standing from her chair, opening her door to pop her head out into the small waiting area that was conveniently located right outside of her room.  
'Miss Turner?' she called out, her eyes instantly finding the smiling, blue eyed blonde before flicking away again almost instantly. Emily turned, letting the woman swan past her through the doorway, the strong scent of sweet perfume invading her nostrils as the blonde sashayed into the room. Emily bit the inside of her cheek and took a deep breath, already knowing what this woman was like, and what she most likely was going to attempt. She turned into the room, letting the door close behind her, and instantly made her way across the room, avoiding eye contact the entire time.  
'So, Laura. It's been a few weeks since our last session' she stated, stopping in front of her computer. She clicked around the screen a few times, pretending that she was reading the clinic notes that were pulled up, though she had already read them and was simply trying to figure out how to get through this appointment as quickly as possible. 'How are the exercises going?' she asked, keeping her eyes fixed on the screen as she spoke. She outright refused to make eye contact with the woman, who was currently seductively leaning against the examination bed.  
'They're going ok, but you know, I have a little pain right now' she replied, her voice dripping with a flirtatiousness that made Emily cringe.

Emily kept her eyes fixed on the screen as she nodded as she hummed in acknowledgement, signalling that she was listening to the woman, despite not looking at her once. She knew it wasn't professional and usually she would be much more hands on with her patients, but she wasn't going to willingly put herself into a position that could be misconstrued by the provocative blonde. Laura, however, only seemed spurred on by the brunette's lack of attention, seeing it as more of a challenge than a brush off, and with Emily's eyes locked to the computer screen, she didn't see the woman push herself from the bed and make her way across the room.  
'Oh really? Where abouts?' She asked, and in hindsight, she knew it was a stupid question to ask because it gave Laura the exact opening she needed. Within seconds, Emily felt the other woman's body brush up against her own and a hand wrap around her thigh before pressing firmly between her legs.  
'Right about here' the blonde purred, causing Emily's eyes to widen and jaw to drop a little. She automatically spun around, causing the hand to release from between her thighs, and backed up as much as she could into her desk.  
'Uh' she stuttered, as she blinked hard, not entirely sure what to say to fix the uncomfortable position she had found herself in. A few weeks ago, she would have grabbed the opportunity by the horns and shown this woman what a good time was, but now all she could think about was how this person wasn't Alison and the thought of even touching another woman made her feel sick to the stomach.

'It's ok. I liked it last time' Laura husked, as she pressed herself against the front of Emily's body. 'I think we're leaving it a little long between appointments. Maybe we I should start booking in to see you twice a week instead' the blonde continued, her fingers ghosting up the side of a tanned neck before latching into dark locks. Thin, pink lips hovered less than an inch from her ear on the opposite side and Emily swallowed hard at the feeling of hot breath tickling the area.  
'No, I, uh-' she stammered, her eyes slamming shut as she desperately tried to work out how the hell she was going to stop the predatory woman, who was practically draped across her at this point. Emily's hands dug hard into the desktop as the other woman's mouth whispered down her neck. The second it made contact with her pulse point, Emily's hands flew forward, slamming against Laura's chest. The blonde stumbled backwards, her eyes wide and cheeks flushed  
'What the fuck!?' she practically yelled, her cheeks flushed and her eyes filled with a mixture of embarrassment and anger.  
'I think you need to find a new physio' Emily stated firmly, her jaw tightening as she stood herself upright and pushed away from the desk.  
'But, I thought-'  
'You thought wrong' the brunette interrupted curtly, her annoyance evident on her face. 'You should leave' she added firmly, as she stared down the woman in front of her.

The blonde remained staring at her for several seconds, clearly wondering whether this was some sort of joke, or whether Emily would change her mind, but when the latter woman remained still, her stony expression fixed firmly into place, Laura let out a growl and headed towards the door.  
'You're going to regret this' she grunted, before slamming the door behind her. Emily let out a deep exhale as the door closed, her hands shaking at what had just happened. She hadn't ever experienced anyone being so aggressively forward and suggestive towards her before, and if she was honest, it had scared her a little. She was fully aware of the way she had previously acted towards women, probably having used those same moves herself a fair few times, but to unwillingly be on the receiving end was definitely an eye opener, and not one that made her feel good about herself. After taking a few minutes to compose herself and quell her shaking hands, Emily silently thanked God for the fact that she had no more patients for the rest of the day, grabbed her coat and bag, and headed out of her room. She was so desperate to get out of the building that she all but ran past the brunette receptionist, whom she had always had a friendly, yet mildly flirtatious, relationship with.  
'Everything ok, Emily?' Sophia asked with a furrowed brow, having seen the blonde woman rush past just a few minutes earlier with a less than pleased expression on her face.  
'Yeah, fine, I just uh, I need to go' Emily stuttered, still feeling shook from what had happened a few moments ago. 'See you tomorrow' she blurted, before making her way through the double doors of the clinic. She instantly reached into her pocket, pulling out a packet of cigarettes, and lit the sweet stick of nicotine. She slowly inhaled, feeling the stress melt away as she released a cloud of white smoke through her lips.

Alison restlessly paced back and forth, her mind going to places she definitely didn't want it to go. For most of the day she had found herself suppressing images of her Dad coming back. Bursting through the door and beating her senseless. Even worse than that were the thoughts of him doing anything to hurt Emily. That, she definitely couldn't handle. She glanced at the bag beside the bed, still half packed with clothes from the night before, and she briefly thought that if she packed it and left now, she'd be long gone before anyone found out. But, she promised Emily she wouldn't leave again, and honestly, she didn't _want_ to leave the brunette, but the voices in her head were screaming at her that if she didn't leave, she was going to be killed here. She was putting everyone in danger by just being here, and she knew it. She was frozen in place, fighting between her heart and her head, when Emily arrived home.  
'Hey' she greeted the blonde with a smile, which quickly faltered when she saw the conflicted look on Alison's face. She followed the other woman's glance, settling on the bag beside the bed, and she felt her stomach sink. 'You ok?' She asked cautiously, as she pushed the door shut behind her before taking a few small steps closer to the blonde.  
'Yeah, I just...' Alison began to respond, turning to look at Emily, who looked like she was about to cry at any moment, and it was the broken look on her face that instantly shut down any thoughts of leaving. 'I'm not going anywhere. I promise, I'm just...thinking' she explained, biting down on the corner of her mouth, as she looked blankly at the tanned woman.

Emily nodded slowly, pausing in place for a moment longer before dropping her purse and keys onto the counter. She slipped her jacket off and threw it across the back of the sofa as she slowly walked towards Alison.  
'Ok' she replied simply, swallowing hard before she continued. 'Anything you want to talk about?' She asked, stopping a foot away from the other woman. Her eyes raked up and down her lover's face, searching for any sign of what Alison was going to say.  
'Nothing we've not already discussed' the shorter woman exhaled, her expression masking one of pure exhaustion. 'Just...I don't want to put anyone in danger, especially not you' Alison added, tilting her head to the side as she pulled at her bottom lip between her teeth.  
'Ali-' Emily voice was warning, signalling that she couldn't have this conversation again, but the other woman was quick to reassure her.  
'I know' she quickly interrupted, turning fully towards Emily now, before taking a step forward so that they were impossibly close. 'I'm here, for good. I promise' she said sincerely, as she brought her hand up to cup Emily's cheek, her thumb brushing back and forth across the soft skin. 'I just need to stop my brain from telling me otherwise' Alison added softly, her eyes filled with love and hope for the two of them, and Emily felt as though she could see their whole lives together, playing out in those shining, turquoise pools.

Emily nodded sadly, before enveloping Alison into a hug. She nuzzled into the blonde, pulling her in tight. It had been a rough day for the both of them, and they both revelled in the contact, particularly Emily, whose mind kept flashing back to what had happened with Laura earlier in the evening.  
'I love you' Alison mumbled against Emily's shoulder, causing the brunette to smile before placing a tender kiss to the top of the shorter woman's head.  
'I love you too' she replied with more unadulterated affection than she thought she could muster in that moment, because she really did mean those three little words more than anything in the world. Alison tilted her head back and closed the gap between them, sealing their lips together in a single, tender kiss.  
'See, I told you that us getting away for a few days would do some good!' A familiar female voice came from the front door of the apartment, breaking the two women from their embrace with shocked expressions. Emily and Alison's heads snapped towards the entranceway, small smiles gracing their features when they were met with the sight of Hanna and Caleb. The couple were squeezed into the doorway with Cheshire Cat grins across their faces, and Hanna looked like she was about to burst with happiness.

'Hanna! When did you get back?' Emily asked with a surprised laugh, as she separated herself from Alison's grasp and made her way to the other blonde, who instantly wrapped her arms around the brunette.  
'God I missed you!' Hanna mumbled against Emily's neck, as she held her for a prolonged hug, while Alison stood back and watched with a shy smile on her face. She wasn't sure why she suddenly felt nervous around her old friend, she guessed a part of her was waiting for the other blonde's disapproval of the development of the relationship she and Emily shared.  
'We got back like, a half hour ago, but never mind that' Hanna rambled, waving her arm as if it were no big deal, and finally letting Emily loose from her embrace. 'You two really sorted your shit out, huh?' she stated, her eyes flicking between the two women in front of her, a proud smile spread across her face.  
'You could say that' Emily replied, her own smile matching Hanna's as she briefly looked behind to Alison, before turning back to the other blonde in front of her. 'How was your trip?'  
'It was great!' Hanna replied enthusiastically, her sile growing as she recalled the few days she and Caleb had spent together. Their relationship had been rocky, but their time away had definitely made them grow closer and stronger as a couple. 'We drove down to Atlantic City, spent a few days by the beach. It was fun, right babe?' She directed the question to the scruffy haired man beside her, who had his own dopey grin spread across his face. It was a grin that told Emily and Alison far too much of what their trip had entailed.

'Yeah, I got to see Hanna freak out over a bird stealing her hotdog, so that was fun!' Caleb replied with a chuckle, the horny post-sex bliss that had previously been surrounding then decreasing ever so slightly, instead being replaced with a more playful vibe.  
'Hey!' Hanna scolded playfully as she slapped her boyfriend in the chest with a giggle.  
Caleb, Emily and Alison chuckle at the other blonde. Their eyes lingered for a few seconds more than was comfortable, causing Emily to clear her throat and look away from the eye-sex that was taking place in front of her. Hanna's eyes quickly snapped back to the two women standing in front of her, a pink flush creeping up her cheeks.  
'Anyway, I only popped in to say hi and let Ali know that she can move back in whenever she's ready' Hanna stated, looking to Alison with a smile. 'Caleb and I are going to grab some food, want to join us? We could double date?' She suggested eagerly, her smile growing again at the thought of her friends finally sorting their shit out.  
'Uh, no we have a few things to sort out actually' Emily replied with a small, awkward smile. She peered sideways at Alison, who had still barely said a word, before looking back at Hanna. 'Thanks for the offer though' she added, her smile growing to show that she was grateful for the offer.

Alison looked up at Emily, her gaze lingering for a second before she plastered a smile across her face and turned to Hanna.  
'Yeah, thanks for the offer Han but we've got some other things to take care of' she said sweetly. Hanna raised her eyebrows and a smug look graced her features, as she clearly misunderstood the tone that was coming from the women stood before her.  
'Ok, I can take a hint' Hanna replied with a glint in her eye. 'Feel free to 'sort your things out'. I'll see you when we get back' she added, winking cheekily before turning to head out of the doorway of Emily's apartment, pulling Caleb along with her and leaving the other two women alone with their mouths hung low at Hanna's suggestive comment. They stood staring at the now closed door for a few moments, Alison's nerves quickly getting the better of her now that they were alone again, b. She went to open her mouth to say something, anything, in an effort to break the feeling that was rising inside of her, but before she got a chance to utter a syllable there was a knock again.  
Hanna and Caleb leave, leaving Alison and Emily alone again for a moment. Neither of them say anything. Alison goes to open her mouth, but Spencer knocks on the door.

'It's open' Emily called, before turning to Alison, who had turned a deathly shade of green. The blonde looked like she was about to keel over at any moment, and Emily was sure that she could see her visibly shaking.  
'Hey' Spencer huffed as she walked into the apartment, causing both Emily and Alison to look up at her. 'I just saw Hanna. I didn't know she was back?' The taller brunette stated as she pushed the door closed behind her and made her way to the couch, where Emily and Alison were stood awkwardly.  
'Yeah, she got back a little while ago' Alison mumbled, her throat suddenly feeling dry. Spencer nodded silently, her lips pursing a little as the silence lingered awkwardly between them. She wasn't sure what Emily and Alison needed to speak to her about, but she could sense that they were both uneasy about something, Alison more so than Emily.  
'She said you guys were...busy?' Spencer stated, wanting to both clear the atmosphere a little and get the two women to say _something_ of substanceto her, because right now they were positively mute.  
'No, that's just Hanna being Hanna' Emily replied casually, waving her hand to exaggerate her words. 'She asked us to go for dinner, but obviously we're meeting you so, we said we were busy' she explained, glancing to Alison, who looked as if she were about to throw up.  
'Right' Spencer said rather flatly, her eyebrow pricked as she looked between both Emily and Alison for a moment. 'So, what did you need to speak to me about?' She finally asked and Emily visibly heard Alison gulp at the question.  
'I think you should sit for this' Emily said softly, knowing that she was going to have to do a lot of the talking, and Spencer was indeed going to freak out.


	16. House of Cards

It had been a week since Emily and Alison turned to Spencer for help. One long week, where the brunette found herself fawning and hovering over the blonde woman, terrified that she was going to break down or something, because she could practically feel the ground crumbling beneath them. Their relationship, if you could call it that, was stronger than ever, and they had spent the last week getting lost within each other. Alison had, upon Emily's request, stayed with her every night rather than going back to Hanna's apartment upstairs, and the two women had spent the majority of their time together wrestling in Emily's bed sheets. They spent mornings cuddling up in post-sexual bliss and night times trading kisses and touches, while whispering sweet nothings, and sometimes not so sweet nothings, to each other. Their relationship was giving them the strength to keep going, because everything else around them seemed to be falling to pieces bit by bit.

Emily had spent the week trying to be the supportive factor that Alison needed, and for the most part she was, though the pressure was starting to get to her slightly. Emily felt that she was just about keeping her head above water and was managing to continue along the narrow path that was her life, but she couldn't help but feel she was only one push away from falling off of it, and that moment came on what seemed to be a normal Tuesday morning. Emily had gone to work, as normal. She checked in with Sophia and collected her post, as normal. She switched on her computer and sipped on her coffee as she waited for the machine to warm up, as normal. Normality quickly went out the window however, when the Clinical Manager knocked on her door and entered with a rather sombre expression.

'Jayne? Is everything ok?' Emily asked with a furrowed brow, as she span in her chair to face the lanky blonde woman. She instantly saw that look on the older woman's face. The one that said she had to do something she wasn't particularly comfortable or happy with.  
'Emily, I need to tell you something' Jayne began, her expression filled with sorrow and confliction, because she liked Emily. She had been working with the brunette for almost two years, and they had a great relationship, which only made this so much harder.  
'What? What's wrong?' Emily asked with a hint of panic in her voice. Her stomach felt as though it had been filled with lead and her heart felt like a Jack hammer in her chest, because she had a feeling she knew where this conversation was heading.

Sure enough, her fears were confirmed with Jayne's next words.'Laura Turner has put in a complaint against you' Jayne began to explain delicately. 'She's claiming a grievance for sexual assault, and unfortunately my hands are tied. She went way over my head-' Jayne's words became blocked out after that, as Emily's head began to spin. She briefly heard the mention of the clinic's legal team and HR departments, and the word 'suspension' was mentioned a few times. She found herself nodding numbly, her eyes focused on the wall behind Jayne, who was still talking with soft, caring eyes. Emily couldn't focus on what those words were, all she could think about was the feeling of the last remaining piece of solid ground that sat beneath her feet, slowly twitch and dislodge, and she could feel her body brace in preparation for it to finally give way.

Alison let out a huff of air as she bit down on her bottom lip anxiously. Her foot tapped rapidly as she impatiently looked up at the clock, the ticking was already starting to get to her and she had only sat there for ten minutes. She picked at her fingernails as she waited for her name to be called, her stomach churning at the thought of what she was about to do, not that she had had a choice. Elinor had practically threatened to drag her here herself if Alison didn't go voluntarily. Still, now that she was here and the weight of the situation fell on her shoulders, Alison was filled with self-hatred and negative thoughts ran through her mind. It was too soon, she wasn't ready for this. She didn't want to sit and talk to a perfect stranger about how perfectly fucked up she was, she couldn't.

As if her body agreed with her mind, Alison's lungs practically gave up. The air grew thick and suddenly the walls started to feel as though they were closing in on her. She swallowed hard, her throat dry as dilated pupils flickered around the room. The lights suddenly seemed glaringly bright against the white walls and that annoying ticking clock seemed to grow louder. Alison squeezed her hands into fists before rubbing her palms roughly along her denim covered thighs, feeling the sticky sweat brush from the skin of her hands. She felt clammy and her heart was racing, her breathing laboured and she was desperately trying to keep in control, but everything was overwhelming her senses. She could hear every noise; the receptionist's fingers rapidly flying across the keyboard as she typed up an email, the scuffle of another patient's shoe as she ran her foot back and forth across the cheap, grey carpet, the tingling of a bell as the clinic's door opened.

Alison's head snapped up at the sudden sound that was amplified in her ear, sounding more like a clanging than a light tingle. Her eyes widened in terror as the man walked in and she found herself face to face with her Father. She felt her blood run cold and her already sharp breaths became choppier. She wheezed as she tried desperately to get the air to flow into her lungs, but she felt herself become paralyzed with fear. Her eyes were locked on him, his face gaunt and pale, the purple bruise-like marks beneath his eyes contrasting greatly to the white of his skin. His shirt was saturated in deep, dark crimson and as he made his way into the room the blood dripped onto the grey carpet beneath him. Alison heard a scream in the distance, her eyes slamming shut at the sound. Suddenly the room fell into silence, the only sound coming from her desperate attempts to breathe. She forced her eyes open to see a gentleman standing in the middle of the room, where her Father had been seconds prior. He and the only other two people in the room, were all staring at her with wide eyes, and it was in that moment that Alison realised that the scream had come from her own mouth. With three sets of curious eyes glued onto her, Alison jumped from the seat and bolted out of the door, the receptionist calling after her as she ran from the clinic.

'Any news?' Spencer asked as she leaned into Toby's desk. She had met up with her boyfriend for lunch, though mostly because she wanted to see whether he had any leads on the mystery that was Alison's Father.  
'We've been digging but we're coming up blank everywhere we've turned' Toby sighed in response as he ran his fingers through his hair. 'We've checked his bank accounts and no money has gone in or out of any of the accounts in his name since October 12th. The last transaction was a plane ticket that was bought online at 2:15am the same day that Alison visited her Father' he explained with a heavy tone. Spencer could see that this mystery was getting to her boyfriend, he didn't like when he couldn't solve things easily and apparently this was getting to him more than usual because he had hardly been home at all in the last week.

'Ok, so that's good news right?' She asked with a furrowed brow as she took in the details. 'I mean, we find out the flight details and go from there' she stated as she began to formulate a plan in her head, but was quickly stopped by Toby, who was shaking his head and making disagreeing noises.  
'No, we already called the airline to get the details' He began to explain with a stressed tone. 'The ticket was a one way flight to London, but Mr DiLaurentis never checked in for the flight' he said as he looked up at his girlfriend, who currently looked like she'd had the wind sucked out of her. 'Plus, Emily said that the house has been bought by another family, so if that's the case, where is the money for the sale?' He wondered aloud, causing Spencer's brow to furrow deeper, giving her the expression that looked like she was almost in pain.  
'This doesn't make any sense' she breathed disbelievingly. She was sure that they'd get to the bottom of this mess quickly, but it seemed that they were just finding dead ends everywhere.

Toby nodded slowly as he picked his pen up from the desk and began to play with it in his fingers.  
'Right now, all the signs are pointing to a typical cover up' He explained with a neutral expression, pausing before glancing up at the tall brunette. 'Are we sure that she didn't try to hide it? I mean, maybe she knows more than she's letting on' Toby asked warily, not wanting to push Spencer about Alison's intentions, because she had been particularly protective of the blonde since she came back into the four women's lives.  
'No' Spencer replied strongly. 'You didn't see her when she told me about it. She looked terrified that he might come back for her' she explained as she remembered the haunted look in Alison's eyes.

 _'I was so angry, I wasn't even thinking. I just-'_  
 _'Ok, you need to stop talking right now' Spencer interrupted as she paced back and forth across the small living area._  
 _'But I'm trying to explain-' Alison rebutted, her eyes wide at Spencer having cut her off half way through her story. She couldn't understand why her friend didn't want to help her and she was terrified that her Dad was still out there somewhere._  
 _'We don't have client/attorney privilege Ali, and I have a feeling that what you're about to tell me could very much land you in jail' Spencer interrupted again, her voice stern as she turned to face the two women who were sitting on the couch before her. 'If I let you tell me this, I could end up having to tell everything to a judge in a court room and I'll end up in a cell right beside you. Emily too' She explained with a softer voice._  
 _'So you're just not going to help me, then?' Alison asked with a slight scoff, her defences rising because well, that was what she did best when she was rejected. She put her walls up and shut people firmly out so that she didn't get hurt._  
 _'No, I'm going to be your Lawyer. Both of you' Spencer replied, causing Alison and Emily's eyebrows to shoot up in surprise, because this was the last thing they had expected. Yet, still beneath the shocked look on Alison's face, lay the fear of what could be out there, waiting for her in the shadows._

 _'_ There's no way she could have done this and hidden it from me' Spencer stated surely as she pulled herself from her memory of that night. She had taken in every detail and written her notes clearly. She had examined Alison's every word, facial expression and movement, the same way she would with any client for the tell-tales signs of lying. Alison hadn't done a single thing that indicated that she wasn't telling the truth, and Spencer didn't know which situation would be more horrifying. Alison actually having killed her father in cold blood and lying about it, or the reality in which they were faced with right now.  
'Well, either she tried to cover it up, or someone else did' Toby replied with a steady voice. I'd it wasn't Alison, then we need to find out who it was' he added as he racked his brain trying to think of something that they might have missed.  
'Ok, well Em said the house was sold, but there's no money trace, right?' Spencer asked after a few moments of silence.  
'Right' Toby hummed as he nodded his head, biting on the end of the pen in thought.  
'So, if the house was sold, then the new family that are there must have had contact with someone in order to buy it. I say we speak to the family, see what they remember from the sale' Spencer suggested casually. Toby instantly stilled and looked up at his girlfriend as if he had just struck gold.  
'And that's why you're the brains' he gushed as he gripped her cheeks firmly and placed a chaste kiss upon her lips, before turning back to his computer and frantically began tapping away at a few things.

Aria rushed through the café door in panic, her eyes quickly scanning the small eatery in search of the person who had called her here. She let out a relived breath when she saw Emily sitting at a table in the corner, twirling her straw through a milkshake, her head resting heavily in her other hand as her elbow pressed hard against the table.  
'Hey, I got here as quick as I could' Aria stated as she slid into a chair on the opposite side of the table, her cheeks flushed and her voice breathy from practically running here from her office. 'You ok?' She asked in concern, as she shrugged off her coat and took in the brunette's vacant expression and clenched jaw.  
'I just got suspended' Emily replied despondently, her eyes not leaving the milkshake in front of her.  
'You what?! Why!?' Aria asked with a yelp, her shock evident on her face at the unexpected news. The small brunette woman's loud voice was enough to get Emily to look up briefly before sighing and going back to stirring her now melting milkshake.  
'I slept with a client' she replied with an angry chuckle, though she wasn't sure whether she was more angry with Laura for putting in the complaint, or herself for thinking with something other than her brain.  
'Emily' Aria chastised with a groan, her head tilting to the side in a somewhat sympathetic gaze, though she tried to hold a stern look upon her face.

'I know, I know, it was a stupid thing to do' Emily huffed before Aria could lecture her about her old womanizing ways. 'But, it was before Ali came back, and I just needed to feel something' she added sadly, as she remembered the dark, emptiness that used to suffocate her, and she quickly realised that as rough as things were right now, they were a million times better than they used to be. At least now she had Alison by her side to make those bad days turn into great nights.  
'And you couldn't find someone who doesn't pay you to rub them up every week?' Aria asked with a pointed expression, causing Emily to let out a slight chuckle and look at her with a smirk.  
'You know what I mean' the petite brunette rebounded with an eye roll, because of course, even when she was feeling like crap, Emily would pick up on an unintentional innuendo. 'So what's the plan?' Aria asked, as she took the untouched milkshake from in front of Emily and began to sip on it through the straw.  
'Well, they're doing an investigation into my practice and the legal team are involved' Emily replied with a sigh. 'I didn't really take in much other than that, I sort of zoned out. Either way, my career is officially down the drain because well, I did it and I can't exactly lie' she added as she rested her head in her hands, her stomach feeling heavy with guilt.

Aria looked at Emily with a sympathy, unsure of what to say to the brunette, who looked as though she was about to break at any moment. She was worried about Emily and her current emotional state, because usually that only led to one thing.  
'Em, you're...you're not going to...' Aria trailed off, not wanting to finish the question that was sitting at the tip of her tongue.  
'I wanted to' Emily answered after a moment passed, as she looked up at Aria through her thick, long eyelashes. 'I honestly thought I was going to walk into the bar across the street and just drown myself in liquor' she stated honestly as she bit down on the inside of her cheek.  
'What stopped you?' Aria asked curiously, her eyes slightly widened and her brow furrowed. She was surprised that Emily had been so truthful about her near slip, and couldn't help but wonder what could have stopped the other woman from giving in to her addiction.

Emily remained silent in thought for a minute, while Aria's inquisitive eyes continued to watch over her with a peaceful curiosity.  
'Honestly? Ali did' Emily finally replied, looking up at Aria, who looked stunned by the admission. 'All I could picture was how disappointed she would be in me if I let myself give in so quickly. I could practically hear her telling me to walk away' the taller brunette added as she sat back in her seat, an almost pained expression written across her face, that Aria couldn't figure out the cause of.  
'Em, this is great stuff, it's progress' she stated positively, her lips curling into a small smile, because she could see that the other woman was far from happy with herself right now.  
'Is it really?' Emily shot back with a heavy eye roll. 'I mean, Ali left Rosewood because her Father was an alcoholic and now she has to help pull me through my addictions too. It's not fair on her. I need to get better' she ranted through gritted teeth, her thoughts falling heavy on her mind. She finally had Alison back, and she wanted to be the best possible version of herself for the blonde, but instead she felt weak and broken, and she didn't want to be something that Alison had to glue back together again.

'Emily, it takes time, ok?' Aria offered delicately, as she leaned across and took Emily's hand into her own. 'Alison loves you and she knows as well as we all do, that you are nothing like her Dad' the shorter girl continued, wanting to do everything possible to take Emily's pain away. Emily nodded her head slowly as she took in Aria's words, before sliding her hand back from the other girl's touch and running her palms down her thighs as she bit down on her bottom lip, silently screaming at herself to listen and take in what her friend was saying, because it was the truth. It was hard though, when her mind had been conditioned for so long to think nothing but negative thoughts.  
'I just can't help but feel that she deserves better' Emily mumbled as she looked down at the table top, not wanting to catch Aria's eye, too scared that if she did than she would crumble completely.  
'I think you need to let Alison decide what she deserves. You can't make that choice for her' Aria's voice was smooth and reassuring as she spoke, the shorter girl wanting to give her friend comfort in her time of need. 'Talk to her Emily. Let her tell you what she needs and wants' she finished with a small smile.

Hanna pushed her way into the apartment, her arm wrapped securely around Alison's waist as she helped the still wheezing blonde into the safety of her home. She guided Ali through the apartment and to the sofa, gently helping her into a seated position, where the blonde dug her elbows into her knees and held her head as she hunched over and concentrated on regulating her breathing, her panic attack still not having fully subsided. Hanna watched her for a brief moment, before tossing her purse onto the ground beside the couch and making her way into the kitchen. She grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator, before going back to the other woman.  
'Drink' Hanna instructed firmly as she held out the cold bottle for Alison to take, which she did so gratefully. Hanna watched as Alison opened the bottle with shaking hands and placed it to her lips, before draining the bottle entirely. Once she had finished, she seemed considerably calmer, much to Hanna's relief. She grabbed a footstool from the corner of the room and dragged it over, placing it in front of Alison before perching herself on it, facing the other woman.

'You going to tell me what happened?' Hanna asked, though it was more of an instruction that a question. Alison swallowed hard, pursing her lips as she shook her head, her eyes still trained on the ground beneath her. She couldn't look Hanna in the eye, not without her knowing she was lying, and she knew she couldn't tell the other blonde the whole truth, not without Spencer murdering her for telling yet another person her deepest, darkest secret. Hanna, in turn, rolled her eyes, her head tilting to the side at the predictable response.  
'Ali' she pushed firmly, causing the other woman to let out a heavy sigh, before straightening herself up to look at her best friend.  
'Ok' she breathed as she clasped her hands together, her elbows still resting against her knees as she leaned into them. 'I was waiting for my appointment and I thought that... I saw something' she began to explain, trying her best to keep the details vague so that Hanna wouldn't ask too many questions. 'Something that wasn't there. It was like my mind was playing tricks on me. Everything sounded so loud and the lights were so bright, and before I knew it I couldn't breathe. I bolted out of there before I could cause too much of a scene and that's when I called you' she explained, her eyes fixed on the wall behind Hanna; she still couldn't look the other blonde in the eye.

'I'm sorry. I would have called Emily, but she's at work and she can't always answer her phone if she's with a patient. Plus, I didn't want to worry her. She's already dealing with so much, I don't want to put too much stress on her' Alison added, her voice unstable at having recounted what had happened in the waiting room. As scared as she was about the possibility of her Dad being alive, the thought that she was actually face to face with him had been terrifying.  
'Hey it's fine. You can call me anytime, you know that' Hanna assured the other woman, her face twisted into a look of concern as her eyes flickered over Alison's face. She had so many questions that she wanted to ask, namely what it was that Alison had seen that had scared her so much, and why she looked so haunted right now, but even she knew that it wasn't the right time to ask anything of the sort. Not right now anyway. Instead they sat in silence for a few moments, both women processing what had happened, before Hanna finally opened her mouth to speak.

'You said you had an appointment?' She asked, hinting that she wanted an explanation. She had picked Alison up from a shrink's office, and while she hadn't thought much of it at the time, now she was starting to wonder whether there was more going on than Alison had let anyone know about.  
'Yeah. I had an appointment with a psychiatrist' The other blonde confirmed after a moment's pause, internally smacking herself for being so stupid, because she wasn't ready to divulge all this information yet, but Hanna was more observant than she let on and there was no way she could hide this now. 'I have PTSD' she stated with a heavy breath, looking back up at Hanna, who was looking at her with a confused expression. 'I've had it since...well, you know. And I used to be on anti-depressants and was under intense therapy, but I stopped going to that a while ago, and recently I stopped taking my meds' she explained, not missing the way Hanna's jaw dropped a little at her admission. Alison instantly felt ashamed and looked away from the other woman, not wanting to see that look of pity in her face.

'Why would you stop taking them?' Hanna asked after a long pause, her voice giving the tell-tale signs that a lecture was about to come, and Alison was already feeling herself tense up. She really wasn't in the mood to be scolded, though she knew she deserved it.  
'Because of Emily' she replied a little too loudly. 'When I came back into her life, she was so broken, and I knew that I couldn't be with her if I was just as fucked up' she explained, her voice a little softer and sadder as she remembered how damaged Emily was when she first saw her again. The way the brunette's eyes didn't shine the way they used to, and the fact that that light that always seemed to shine around her had dulled significantly, instead replaced with a stormy shadow. 'I needed to be strong and stable for her, and I hadn't had an episode in a long time. I thought I'd be ok, so I stopped the therapy first, just to test the waters, and I was fine. Then, when I started staying with Emily, I stopped taking the meds' Alison confessed, her voice so quiet by the end that Hanna had to lean in to hear her properly.

'Ok, first of all, I'm going to tell you that you're a fucking idiot' Hanna replied with a firm, scolding tone. Her eyebrow was raised, almost challenging Alison to argue, but she didn't because she knew every word that was about to come out of Hanna Marin's lips would be the harsh truth she needed to hear. 'Those pills and the therapy are there to help you, and they're nothing to be ashamed of. It shows how brave and strong you are that you're getting through shit' she stated with wide eyes, taking Alison's hand in her own to silently show that she wasn't being a bitch, she just wanted to be supportive and be there for the other woman. 'Second of all, do you know how fucking stupid you are for thinking that Emily would love you any less if she knew about this' she asked rhetorically, her eyes lighting up and a smile gracing her lips at the thought of just how much Emily loved Alison, and how happy she herself was that they had made their way back to each other despite everything. 'You were gone for so long and she never stopped loving you. You could have rocked back up into her life with limbs missing, and she would love you all the more for it. Hell, you could have turned up bald, with no teeth and a lazy eye, and she'd still love you' Hanna added with a chuckle, causing Alison to laugh at the other woman's silliness.

'Emily loves you, Alison and this thing you're going through won't change that. In fact, I think she'd love you more for being honest and open with her about it' Hanna added with a more serious tone, causing Alison to fight back tears, her eyes flicking to the ceiling as she felt the threat of them appear at the other blonde's words.  
'I know she loves me, that's not the issue. I'm just scared that this is going to break us' Alison confessed, her voice foggy with the emotion that was overcoming her. 'I mean, we're trying so desperately to be there for each other, but we're barely standing on our own two feet. How are we supposed to have a secure relationship, when we're both so unstable' she wondered aloud, expressing her fear for the first time, surprising even herself at her vocalisation. Hanna sat in thought as she took in Alison's worries, her eyes landing on a pack of playing cards that sat on the coffee table beside her. She wasn't entirely sure where they had come from, she guessed they were probably Alison's, but she didn't dwell on it too much. Picking up the pack, she passed them from hand to hand, looking at them with a thoughtful expression.

'Because, Ali, people are like playing cards' Hanna said randomly, breaking the silence of the room and causing Alison to look at her as though she had officially lost her marbles.  
'Playing cards?' She asked with a confused look on her face.  
'Yeah, playing cards.' Hanna responded with a smile as she opened the packet and tipped the deck of cards into her hand. 'You and Emily, me and Caleb, Spencer and Toby' she began to explain as she placed three pairs of cards onto the coffee table beside her, her body twisting around so that she was semi-facing the surface. 'We're all like playing cards. I mean, you can make a house out of cards, right? But you need all the cards to do that, you can't make a house with just one card. It's too unstable to stand up alone' she continued, as she placed the deck down onto the table. Hanna picked up a single card and attempted to stand it up, watching it fall again instantly. Alison's eyes remained focused on her, her brow furrowed deeply as she tried to follow Hanna's words. 'But, if you lean it against another card, they support each other and together they're stronger' she added, as she picked up another card and paired them together, leaning them against each other to make a tent shape on the table top. Hanna's eyes flicked up to Alison, her eyebrow raised as if she was daring the other woman to argue against the facts she had produced, before she looked back at the cards and placed the other four cards into the same triangle-type shapes, all of them in a line. 'Then you put the other cards around them, and the whole thing gets stronger and stronger' she continued, as she continued to build the house of cards, placing cards along the top and repeating the process of making triangles.

After a few moments of silence, where Alison watched Hanna continue to build the house of cards, Hanna turned her attention back to the other blonde and continued to explain her point.  
'You and Emily need to support each other' she stated with a heavy sigh. 'Together, you can take on more than you can if you're apart. Then, both of you lean on me and Spencer and Aria, and we lean on Caleb and Toby, and Aria can lean on whoever the hell she decides to lean on, and together we can get through anything' Hanna finished with a soft smile, that was matched by Alison immediately, because she wasn't sure she had ever heard something so strange, yet heart-warming and oddly clever, from Hanna's lips.  
'You know Hanna, I think that might just be the smartest thing you've ever said to me' Alison replied playfully, causing the other blonde to laugh.  
'Yeah. I surprise myself sometimes' Hanna replied with an infection giggle, that caused Alison to join in.

It was around 5pm when Emily arrived back home to find Alison cooking at the stove, while the soothing sound of tinkling piano keys filled the apartment, and Emily couldn't help but smile at the sight of the blonde moving around the kitchen in a pair of short shorts and a tank top, that belonged to the brunette. She shrugged off her jacket, placing it on the couch with her purse, and made her way over to Alison, wrapping her arms around the shorter woman from behind. Her lips instantly found the peachy skin they longed for as she began kissing along Alison's neck and shoulders, causing the blonde's hands to still and a smile to appear across her face.  
'Well hello' Alison husked as she tilted her head to reveal more of her neck and gripped Emily's hand with one of her own, while the other continued to brown off the meat and onions in the pan.  
'Hey beautiful' Emily mumbled against Alison's pulse point, her lips and tongue making quick work across the skin, before she finally placed a chaste peck behind the other woman's ear and rested her chin against Alison's shoulder.

'How was your day?' The blonde asked, her eyes glancing sideways at tanned woman sporadically, as she tried to gage Emily's mood and keep check on the dinner she was cooking. Emily let out a displeased hum before answering.  
'My day was...not great' She finally answered with a heavy sigh. She watched as Alison moved the pan from the lit stove, moving back slightly when the smaller woman began to turn in her arms. Alison hooked her hands behind Emily's neck, her fingers tenderly playing with soft strands of dark locks that fell out of the other woman's ponytail. Her eyes were filled with concern, but also warmth and love and trust, and it instantly settled Emily in that moment. For the first time all day, she felt stable and secure.  
'What happened?' Alison asked, her voice smooth and soft and pushing Emily to open up.  
'Well, I got suspended today' She replied after a moment, her eyes flicking downwards in shame, and because she wasn't entirely sure how Alison was going to react to this news. 'A patient put in a complaint against me, on the grounds of sexual assault' She finished, causing the concerned look to be wiped off of Alison's face and instead filled with shock, her eyes were now as wide as saucers as she leaned back a little from Emily.

'What!? That's crazy!?' The blonde woman exclaimed, her face contorting into a look that Emily couldn't quite place.  
'Not really' Emily replied as she pulled herself away from Alison, taking a step back and causing the other woman's arms to drop to her sides. 'Before you came back into my life, I lived a very... _promiscuous_ lifestyle. I was struggling to keep my head above water, and I did a lot of stupid things. She was one of them' The brunette confessed ashamedly, her cheeks flushing at the thought of what she had done and how she had behaved; how she had desperately tried to replace the feeling that Alison had given her all those years ago, with anyone that seemed to fit the bill. Emily didn't miss the way Ocean blue eyes flashed with jealousy at the mention of other women, but it was gone again in the blink of an eye and instead Alison's smooth hands were tenderly gripping her forearms and her face held so much compassion and empathy that Emily thought she was going to drown in the emotion. Alison knew all too well what it felt like to feel as though you're suffocating in the darkness, she understood the need to be in control of something, whether that be physically, emotionally or, in Emily's case, sexually. It was the reason she had so quickly dismissed her own petty jealousy, and instead focused solely on the woman she loves.

'Are you feeling ok?' Alison asked, her head tilting to the side and her eyes peering at Emily in a way that dared her to even attempt to lie, because she would see right through any ounce of deceit.  
'Surprisingly, yeah' Emily replied with a subtle nod, her eyes catching onto Alison's and instantly anchoring to them as though they were her life support. 'I mean, I wasn't ok. Not at all. I left work with my things and I was so angry and embarrassed and annoyed at myself, and I was so close to walking down the street and heading straight for a bar, but I didn't' The words poured out of her mouth, and Emily felt a strange sense of pride course through her as she remembered her talk with Aria earlier, because she had done something amazing. She had acknowledged her urge and she had turned her back on it, and it hadn't been easy by far, but with Alison in her mind she had definitely found it easier than in the past.  
'Why? What stopped you?' Alison asked with a curious smile, her own pride exploding at the thought of Emily walking away from the proverbial devil that sat upon her shoulder.

'You did' Emily confessed with a small chuckle, causing Alison's smile to grow infinitely, and the brunette decided then and there that she'd never touch a drop of alcohol again if it meant her girl would smile at her like that. Alison took a small step forwards before leaning up on her tip toes to place a single, affectionate kiss upon Emily's lips.  
'I'm so proud of you' She hushed against the brunette's mouth, before capturing her lips again. What started as soft pecks, quickly grew into tongues battling and teeth nipping, and fingers tangling in hair. It wasn't until Alison let out a deep, guttural moan that she decided to slow things down. With a soft peck upon Emily's lips, Alison placed her hand against the other woman's chest and broke away, resting her head against Emily's as they both tried desperately to catch their breath. She let out a small chuckle as she thought about how carried away they had gotten in such a short amount of time. Alison gulped hard, her throat suddenly dry as all moisture in her body seemed to travel to a place much further south. She let out a soft cough as she tried to rid her thoughts from where they were currently going to, and took a step back to clear her mind a little more.

'While we're confessing things, there's something I need to tell you too' Alison said softly, her eyes meeting Emily's, and they seemed so open and vulnerable that the other woman almost gasped.  
'What is it?' Emily asked, her face growing worried and her eyes flitting across the shorter woman's face for signs of distress or sadness, or any emotion that might give her a hint of where this conversation was going.  
'I was supposed to have an appointment with a shrink today, but I had a bit of an episode and never made it into my appointment' Alison replied, causing Emily to grow even more confused. She had absolutely no idea what the other woman was talking about, or why she had to see a phsychiatrist in the first place.  
'Episode? Ali, what are you talking about?'  
'I have PTSD Emily' Alison said with a heavy breath, her eyes silently pleading for the other woman to understand and not freak out, because she was terrified that this was just one more thing that Emily wouldn't be able to handle.

'I've had it since I left Rosewood, and it was the whole situation with my Dad that made me finally get help, with a bit of persuasion from Elinor and Seamus. They made me see a psychiatrist, and I was put on anti-depressants. With the meds and therapy, it was under control and I was fine. Until recently, anyway' Alison explained the story almost in a single breath, she spoke her words so fast, causing Emily's face to deepen with concern the entire time, because quite frankly, the blonde seemed frantic and the brunette struggled to keep up at first.  
'What changed?' She asked curiously, and almost cautiously, because she wasn't sure what Alison was ready to share and what she wasn't, and the last thing Emily wanted to do was push the other woman away, especially after her opening up the way she was.  
'I stopped going to my sessions and I stopped taking my meds' Alison confessed in an almost child-like voice, because she knew that the other woman was going to kick off at this information, and she was right. Emily almost hit the roof.  
'Ali! That's-' The brunette's voice was raised and her face was full of frustration and disbelief, but Alison interrupted before her rant could really take off.  
'Stupid, I know' She finished with a semi-loud voice, that instantly stopped the other woman in her tracks, causing her to take a deep breath and shake her head to calm herself.

'Why would you do that?' Emily asked after a moment, her voice calmer and softer than before.  
'Because I wanted to be there for you' Alison said weakly as she shrugged her shoulders, because now that she was saying it out loud to Emily, it sounded stupid and pathetic. 'I wanted to be the one who you could depend on and I didn't feel strong while I knew I was so fucked up' She finished, dipping her head downwards. She was too scared to look the brunette in the eye, too scared of seeing her own weakness reflected back in warm, golden eyes. Emily, however, was looking at her with more love and care than she had for anyone in the world. She took a step forwards and gingerly hooked her finger and thumb over Alison's chin, tilting her head up so that they were looking eye to eye.  
'Ali, I wouldn't think I any differently of you if you'd just told me' Emily said in a gentle, yet firm tone. It was a tone that was scolding, yet comforting, as if she wanted to slap Alison for being stupid, but the other part of her wanted to wrap the blonde up in bubble wrap and protect her as if she were the most delicate and fragile thing to exist.

'You went through a really tough time, it makes sense that that would affect you' Emily added, her words affectionate and understanding in a way that Alison thought her heart would burst. The other woman had the ability to take all of her worries away with a simple touch, and she still hadn't quite grown used to the tenderness that Emily treated her with.  
'I'm sorry I kept this from you' Alison whispered as she felt herself melt into the other woman's touch. Emily let a heavy breath escape from her nostrils as she bit down on her bottom lip, her head nodding just a single time, a silent acknowledgement of Alison's apology and reassurance that it was ok, that she understood and she didn't blame the blonde for keeping this hidden. In all honestly, Emily was just happy that she knew now.  
'Are you ok?' She asked, her voice laced with worry as she took in everything that was Alison.  
'I will be' Came the honest response, the blonde's voice light and for the first time, she truly believed it, because how could she not be ok when she was in the arms of the woman she loved.  
'We'll get through this ok? You're not alone' Emily stated surely, her voice confident and loving, and Alison felt herself melt all over again as she looked into the brunette's intense gaze. She felt herself getting sucked into them as her hand cupped the swell of Emily's cheek. With one last longing look into Chestnut coloured eyes, she attached their lips together, much like before. This kiss, however, was one filled with promise and adoration for the woman she loved more than life itself.


	17. Fresh Pair of Eyes

Toby pulled his car to a stop outside of the large, stone coloured house. As he climbed from the vehicle, he noted how, though fairly large, it wasn't overly impressive in regards to some of the houses in Rosewood. In general, it looked fairly bleak, especially with the half dead shrubs that surrounded the driveway, but he imagined that once upon a time it was a nice enough house. A family house. He shuddered at the thought because he knew all too well what had gone on inside of the suburban residence, once upon a time.

Toby made his way up the few steps and onto the porch, the old wood creaking beneath his heavy foot as he walked towards the door. He felt strangely nervous as he knocked on the dark wood pane, his heart thumping rhythmically in his chest. He felt as though he was waiting hours for an answer, but in reality it was mere seconds before the door opened, revealing a dark haired, moody looking teenager.

'Hello?' The girl's voice grabbed Toby's attention, causing him to catch eye contact.  
'Uh, Hi. My name is Officer Cavanaugh, are your Mom or Dad home?' He asked, trying to keep his voice light and friendly, noting how the girl's eyes widened slightly as he introduced himself and a Police Officer. Before the girl could answer, an older woman, with the same coloured hair as the girl, came running to the door.  
'What did you do?' She scolded the teenager, who rolled her eyes and slinked out of the doorway in order to let her Mom through.  
'Nothing!' She protested, her attitude shining through with the single word, and Toby could tell that the Mother didn't believe her for a second.  
'Actually, I'm not here about your daughter' He quickly intercepted, not wanting to cause this girl to get into any trouble, though he gathered that judging by the woman's reaction, the teenager had had a few run ins with the law.

The teenager shot her Mom a cocky smile, before disappearing up the stairs before he could get scolded again for being a smartass.  
'Sorry, I just only ever get Police at the door when Addison is causing trouble' The woman apologised sheepishly. 'What can I do for you, Officer?' She asked, her hand gripping the door hard as she waited for an explanation as to why she had a plain clothed officer on her doorstep.  
'I just have a few questions to ask you. May I come in?' Toby asked with a smile, not wanting to have this particular conversation on the porch. The woman nodded and moved aside, allowing him to enter into the hall, before leading him to the living room. He noted the various pictures that scattered the walls. Most of them featured the same teenager that had answered the door, following her life through the years from when she was a baby to what looked like a recent picture, that same confident attitude smeared across her smug looking face. It left a bad taste in Toby's mouth, though he wasn't sure why.

'Can I get you a drink or anything?' The woman asked, snapping Toby's attention back to her.  
'Uh, no thank you. I just have a few questions to ask you and I'll be on my way' He replied politely. The woman nodded, silently telling him to ask his questions, and he hastily grabbed his noted pad and pen from his back pocket.  
'Ok, Mrs Derringer-'  
'It's Ms' The woman corrected with a tight lipped smile. 'Addison's Father left us years ago, and I divorced the son of a bitch the second I got a chance' she explained, before growing embarrassed that she had just opened up so easily to a complete stranger that she had met only a minute beforehand.  
'Sorry, Ms Derringer, you bought this house seven years ago, is that correct?'  
'Yes, my Ex-Husband and I bought it together. We wanted a nice family home for our daughter to grow up in' she explained. 'He's not trying to take the house, is he?' She added, her face growing angry, and Toby could quickly see where Addison got her feisty attitude from.

'Uh, no Ma'am, this isn't regarding your Ex-Husband. I'm actually here about the previous owners' He explained, wanting to keep the details as vague as possible. 'Did you ever meet Mr DiLaurentis at all, during the sale process, maybe?' He asked, praying that this woman would be able to give him the answers he needed.  
'No' she shook her head with a thoughtful look on her face. 'Not that I recall anyway. Most of the discussion was made over the phone or via email' she explained, causing Toby's hopes to crash. 'I did meet a young man once, but he wasn't the owner. I'm not quite sure who he was, he never introduced himself, he just came, showed us around and we left'  
'He didn't give you a name at all?' Toby asked, needing more to go on if he was going to track this person down.  
'No, nothing. From what I remember though, he was a head or two taller than me, had dark blonde hair and like, grey or blue coloured eyes, I can't really recall too well, it was a long time ago' Ms Derringer stated, hoping that she was at least able to give the officer something to help him.  
'Ok, perfect. Here's my number, if you remember anything else, please give me a call' he replied as he scribbled his number down onto a sheet of paper and handed it to the woman.

Emily leaned into her elbows, her head in her hand as watched Alison work. Even in her currently depressed state, she couldn't help but smile as she watched the blonde laugh and joke with a group of customers as she served their food to them. It was the reason she had brought herself here. Visiting Alison at work had very much become a part of her daily routine now that she wasn't working, it definitely made a change from tidying her apartment, and then tidying Hanna's apartment, which she had found herself doing in an effort to fight the boredom. After a couple of days, Alison had suggested she come visit her at work, and it seemed to be the thing that was keeping Emily's spirit's from dipping to the ultimate low. She looked forward to making the commute to Williamsburg each afternoon, where she would sit in this very spot and chat away to Alison while she worked. Sometimes Elinor was there and would join in their conversation, but while Emily liked the older woman, she preferred it when it was just she and Alison there. She had found that she didn't much like sharing the blonde's attention, much to Alison's amusement.

Alison walked over to the counter, leaning in on her elbows so that her face was inches from Emily's. She mindlessly played with the other woman's fingers, something that she had found herself doing automatically these days. She found that she felt most grounded when she had some sort of physical contact with the other woman.  
'So I was thinking' Alison started, capturing Emily's attention instantly.  
'That's dangerous' the brunette remarked with a smirk, causing Alison to shoot her a dangerous, yet playful look.  
'I was thinking, we should do something fun' Alison tried again, her fingers still tangling with Emily's. 'It's almost Christmas after all, and I know how much you love the holidays' she added with a smile, remembering all the Christmases she and Emily had spent together and how excited the other girl would get when the holidays were approaching. It was the reason that Alison herself had grown fond of the season, because lord knows her own family never made it worth getting excited about. Emily's eyes lit up at the thought of Christmas, her lips spreading into a small smile.

Spencer flicked through some notes on a case she had been assigned to, her fingers raking through her hair as she tried desperately to come up with a good defence tactic. She was so engrossed in her work, that she didn't hear the door open behind her.  
'Hey' Toby greeted as he entered the apartment, causing Spencer to jump in her chair.  
'Hey!' She replied, as she tried to compose herself. 'How did it go?' She asked quickly, snapping her file shut so that she could give her boyfriend her undivided attention.  
'Well, she confirmed that she had never met Mr DiLaurentis at any point during the sale' Toby began to explain, as he situated himself on a seat across from Spencer. 'She said everything was organised over the phone and through email, but she did meet someone the day they went to take a look at the house. She doesn't know his name, but she gave a pretty vague description of him' he stated sullenly, feeling as though he would never get to the bottom of this case. Spencer on the other hand, practically vibrated at the thought of another mystery to solve.

'What was the description?' She asked, her knee bouncing as she spoke.  
'Around 6 feet tall, dark blonde hair and either blue or grey eyes, she wasn't too sure' Toby replied with a downcast expression, Spencer's face, however, lit up at the description. There was only one person she could think of that matched it perfectly, she just wasn't sure how to contact them.  
'It's Jason' she practically yelped, causing Toby's eyes to snap up to her.  
'Jason?' he asked quizzically, because he wasn't as up to speed with the DiLaurentis family tree as Spencer was, having not grown up in Rosewood and only knowing bits and pieces of Alison's life.  
'Yeah, Alison's brother. It has to be him, who else would it be?' Spencer asked rhetorically, as she mentally worked through the facts in her mind, slowly piecing them together bit by bit.  
'Do you have a phone number or an address for him?' Toby asked hopefully, though he already knew the answer.

'No, he moved to Canada or something about a year before Ali went missing and I haven't seen him since the funeral. I have no idea where he's living now' Spencer replied regretfully, wishing that she had made more of an effort to stay in touch with her missing friend's brother, but then again, why would she? She had other priorities when Alison disappeared, like keeping Emily away from alcohol and trying to scrape through High School and get into college.  
'I guess I could run an LP back at the station, but it'll flag up on the systems and I might get asked a few questions by my superior' Toby stated, wondering why they couldn't just catch a break with this thing. As if god had laid a hand, Aria entered the kitchen, having overheard a good portion of the conversation.  
'Why do you need to find Jason?' The shorter brunette asked with a raised eyebrow, causing Spencer and Toby to freeze, because Aria had no idea what was going on and that was probably for the best, however Spencer knew that the other brunette wasn't going to leave this lie.

'For Alison' Spencer stated simply, hoping that it was enough, but she knew that it wasn't.  
'Why does Ali want to get in touch with him? I thought she didn't want anything to do with her family?' Aria pried, her eyes narrowing, because she knew there was more to the story than Spencer was letting on.  
'She doesn't want to get in touch with him, but she needs answers about something and I think Jason has them' Spencer tried again, and Aria seemed happy enough with the answer, though Spencer knew she'd be getting drilled with questions later on.  
'I have his number, if you want it?' Aria offered, and Spencer's jaw almost hit the floor.  
'Why do you have Jason DiLaurentis' phone number?' She asked in shock, because Jason wasn't exactly in their friend group, in fact, if she recalled correctly, Jason hated them when they were growing up and would make their lives hell. Sure, he mellowed a little as they got older, but he never exactly welcomed them with open arms or met up with them for dinner dates.

Aria shrugged her shoulders as if it were no big deal, though she knew that it sort of was.  
'I kept in touch with him after the funeral and we used to hang out' she stated nonchalantly.  
'You used to hang out with Jason DiLaurentis? Why did you hang out with Jason DiLaurentis!?' Spencer's voice grew high pitched, and Aria could see that her friend was going to erupt if she didn't get the whole truth, and she was not about to turn their kitchen into Pompeii.  
'Jason and I sort of had a thing before he moved to Canada, and it rekindled a few years ago' Aria confessed, causing Spencer to look at her as though she had just confessed that she was the love child of Beyonce and had had an affair with Jay Z. 'I used to meet up with him whenever he was in the city, but then I met Ezra and when Jason found out, he sort of disappeared. He stopped calling and stopped replying to my messages' Spencer noted that Aria seemed somewhat sad about the fact that Jason had stopped talking to her, and she wondered how on Earth she had never known about this relationship before now. Clearly Aria had the best poker face in history.

With only a few weeks until Christmas, and Emily's apartment looking the least bit festive, Alison had decided to take the other woman shopping for a tree. As they strolled hand in hand through the tree farm, searching for the perfect tree, Alison couldn't help but note how domestic the whole scenario was and it made her heart warm at the thought. The only problem was that although they were acting like a couple and were practically living together, neither of them had made a move to put a label on things and make it official, they had just drifted into an unchartered territory where they were together but also, not together, and that scared Alison. She had been left by too many people in her life, she needed to know where she stood and what they were, and as the thought entered her mind, she suddenly found herself panicking.  
'You ok?' Emily asked, sensing Alison's worry. She stopped her steps and rounded to face the other woman, her hands instantly cupping Alison's face, as she had done several times over the past few days whenever the other woman had one of her panic attacks.

Alison felt herself become captured by the depth of Emily's eyes, feeling every ounce of love and adoration the other woman felt, and it pushed her to ask the question she needed to ask.  
'I don't want to ruin today, but I need to ask you something' Alison began, and Emily looked at her as I to say that she could ask any question in the world and she would find the answer for her. 'What are we Em?' Came the loaded question, and Emily almost wasn't sure she had heard it right.  
'What are we?' Emily repeated for clarity, her hands still firmly placed on Alison's cheeks, grounding them both.  
'Yeah like, are we together? Like a couple? Or are we just seeing what happens with us?' Alison asked, her heart racing as she waited for an answer.

'Ali, I already told you. I want to be with you' Emily replied with confusion, because she thought she had made her intentions very clear.  
'I know, you said you want to be with me, but are you not already? With me, I mean?' Alison stumbled over her words, trying to form a sentence that made sense. 'Are you my girlfriend?' She blurted, causing Emily to chuckle, because the question was sort of absurd to her.  
'Of course I'm your girlfriend, Ali' she stated as though it were obvious, and it was all Alison needed to hear. She pushed herself forwards and captured Emily's lips into a sweet, lingering kiss, her fingers anchoring in dark locks as their lips moved together in sync.  
'Come on, crazy girl. Let's go find our tree' Emily said when they parted, satisfied that Alison had calmed again. She wound her arm around Alison's shoulders as they began walking again, placing a kiss to the blonde's temple. They continued their walk through the tree farm with Alison pointing out trees and rolling her eyes when Emily managed to find something wrong with each and every one. She had forgotten how particular her girlfriend was about everything involving Christmas, and she smiled when the word girlfriend had entered her head during this thought. Emily was her girlfriend again, and even the brunette's fussiness over a damn tree wasn't going to kill her vibe.

'What are your plans for Christmas?' Emily asked, suddenly realising that she had no idea what Alison had planned, or what she even did during the festive period. Growing up, Alison used to have dinner with Emily's family, since her own parent's idea of a nice Christmas tended to consist of her Mother making 'nibbles' instead of a Turkey, and her Father getting blind drunk until he shouted obscenities at Jessica. At that point Jason would retire to his bedroom to play on his games console and Alison would hide in her own room trying to block out the sounds of screaming and breaking glass. The first year Emily asked if she wanted to come over, Alison had been thrilled with the change of scenery, and she had had so much fun that it had become a yearly tradition. It was something that Emily had missed each year, seeing the empty spot at the table that Alison used to occupy.

'I usually spend it with Elinor and Seamus, their son James drives in from Rhode Island. It's nice' Alison replied with a small smile, though her own mind was filled with memories of Christmas past. The times that she and Emily would gorge on chocolate in front of the TV, or when they would help Pam prepare the veg for the dinner. The way each Christmas morning, Alison would turn up at Emily's house with a bag full of presents for the entire family, and would have her own little pile under the tree from 'Santa'. It didn't seem to matter how old they got, Emily's Mom always insisted that the presents were from Santa Claus, claiming that it kept the magic alive.  
'Oh, I guess that makes sense' Emily replied, looking a little sad that Alison had new traditions, though she wasn't sure what she expected. She knew that Alison wasn't going to spending Christmas alone with a ready meal for one, in front of the TV, and she liked the idea of the other woman being with her new 'family' much more than the alternative.  
'Are you looking forward to going home? You must be excited to see your Mom' Alison asked, knowing without even having to ask, that Emily had been planning to go back to Rosewood for the holidays, because there was no way Pam Fields was letting her daughter be anywhere but home.

'I guess' Emily replied with a shrug, causing Alison to narrow her eyes in question. 'I just, I don't want to be away from you for an entire week, and I know that my Mom is going to ask me about work, and I don't even know how to begin to explain that to her' Emily explained, and Alison understood. She got it. Emily thought so highly of her Mom, and she didn't want her to be disappointed in her, especially when she was so disappointed in herself for the situation she had landed herself in.  
'It'll be ok, Em. I promise' Alison encouraged, squeezing Emily's hand for reassurance. 'I'm pretty sure everything will be fine with work, and I'll still be here when you get back, ok? I'm not going anywhere' she added, wanting to quell any underlying fears Emily might have about returning and Alison being gone.  
'Promise?' Emily asked, though her lips curved into a soft smile that told Alison she had been successful.  
'Promise' she replied before placing a firm peck on Emily's cheek. 'Now let's pick out a damn tree, I'm freezing' she added with a giggle.

They arrived home around an hour later, their small 5ft Siberian Spruce dragging behind them as they walked through the door. Emily seemed to have cheered up somewhat, and Alison knew that they were bound to be in for an evening of decorating, Fields style. She wasn't sure she was mentally prepared for it, but she was happy to rally for Emily's sake.  
'Where are your decorations kept?' AlIson asked, as she watched Emily drag the tree into the corner of her apartment.  
'Hanna has them stored for me' Emily replied with a grunt, as she lifted the tree into the stand. 'I'll go get them' she stated, grabbing her keys from the counter and placing a quick peck on Alison's lips, before heading back out of the apartment. Alison decided to start spreading the tree branches while she waited for Emily to return, though she knew that the other woman was bound to readjust them when she got back anyway. She was almost finished with the bottom layer, when she heard a loud buzz come from the counter. She looked up to see Emily's phone vibrating across the counter, and without even thinking, she picked the device up to answer, something she had done a thousand times when they had dated before.

'Hello?' She answered sweetly, only to be met by a silence at the other end of the line. 'Hello?' She asked again, her face scrunching up in confusion. She was just about to pull the phone away from her ear and check the screen to see if the call was still connected, when she heard a voice from the other end of the line.  
'Alison?'


	18. Writing To Reach You

'Alison?' The voice repeated, and Alison felt her blood run cold at the voice. It was one that she hadn't heard in a long, long time. 'Alison, is that you?' The voice called again, but Alison couldn't respond, her body frozen in shock. She longed for a way out of this situation, to turn back time and not have picked up the damn phone in the first place.

It was only a few seconds later when Emily walked through the apartment door, struggling with the box in her hands.  
'Babe, can you help me?' She grunted, as she pushed her way into the apartment, the tattered cardboard box in her hands sagging at the bottom, and Emily was worried that the old tape wouldn't hold much longer. She had images of brightly coloured baubles scattering across her apartment.  
'Ali?' She called again, finally looking up to see Alison stood in the centre of the apartment, frozen on the spot with the phone glued to her ear. Emily instantly moved to the kitchen counter to place the box down and headed straight for Alison, gently prying the phone from the other woman's fingers, that were clutching the device tightly. Emily's eyes, full of concern, went from her girlfriend to her phone screen, instantly widening when she saw the name of the caller. She takes a breath, momentarily trying to compose herself before she jumps straight to damage control.

'Hey Mom' she manages to stutter, her eyes flicking to Alison, who had yet to move from her spot. Emily caught her by the hand, squeezing it firmly. She felt herself relax just a little when she felt the subtlest of squeezes back, indicating that Alison wasn't totally catatonic.  
'Emily?' Came Pam's confused reply. 'I could have sworn that I just heard Alison answer the phone' the older Fields woman stated, shaking her head. She briefly wondered whether she had lost her mind. But she knew what she had heard, and it definitely hadn't been her daughter on the other end just a moment ago.  
'Oh really?' Emily managed to squeak out, followed by a forced, nervous laugh. She inwardly cringed, because her Mom could call bullshit from a mile away, so there was no way she was going to be able to talk her way out of this.  
'Emily, what is going on?' Pam asked, the sternness of her voice causing a shiver to run down Emily's spine. She glanced back to Alison again, who seemed to be returning to her normal colour and had begun to blink again, though her eyes were fixed on Emily.

'Mom, I-' Emily started, but she had no idea how to even explain this, especially with Alison right there beside her.  
'You what, Emily?' Pam pushed for her daughter to continue. 'Who was that on the phone?' She asked, wanting confirmation that she had indeed heard what she thought she had, though she couldn't see how it was possible. She had witnessed the burial of Alison DiLaurentis 8 years ago. She had seen how distraught Emily became by the death of the girl she had come to learn, held her daughter's heart.  
'It was Alison' Emily whispered, her eyes closing as she uttered the words. She couldn't bare to look at the blonde beside her as she said it, terrified that her girlfriend would be pissed off with her for revealing that she was alive.

The momentary pause seemed like it lasted a life time, and Emily could hear her heart thumping in her ears as she waited for her Mom, or Alison, to say something. For Hanna to come bursting in the door in that moment. Hell, if her apartment blew up in the moment, she'd have probably thanked whatever idiot was responsible. Anything so that she didn't have to be caught in this long, awkward silence.  
'Alison is alive?' Pam asked, finally breaking the silence between them.  
'Yes' Emily confirmed, her words getting stuck in her throat as she tried to get them out. She was petrified, though she wasn't entirely sure what of. Her Mom's reaction to Alison's fake death? Alison's reaction to her confirming her Mom's theory? Alison's Dad tapping the phone lines and sending a hitman after them? They were all ridiculous things to be scared of, she knew that, but she had spent weeks wrapped up in the bubble that was Alison DiLaurentis, and everything that came with her. The love and adoration, the laughter and support, but also the lies and the secrets, the fear and hiding. She hadn't even realised that she hadn't spoken to her Mom in almost 2 months, something that would never usually happen. She and Alison had practically become recluse to anyone outside of their daily routines, and Emily hadn't even meant for that to happen, but the outside world seemed so big now and so incredibly scary. She couldn't help but see everyone and everything as a threat to the relationship that she and Alison shared.

'How is that possible?' Came the breathy question, and Emily's head span at the prospect of telling her Mom everything. She didn't even know where to begin telling Alison's story.  
'It's a long story' Emily ended up replying. 'And it's not my story to tell' she added for good measure, wishfully thinking, that her Mom would drop the conversation and leave it be.  
'You can't just drop a bombshell like that and expect me to sit by with no explanation, Emily!' Pam stressed, and Emily could practically see the older woman's wide eyes and frazzled expression. 'Where has she been all this time?' Pam added, causing Emily to sigh and roll her eyes in frustration, because she really didn't want to have this conversation now. She couldn't. Emily looked to Alison, who was now unfrozen from her previous spot and had begun pacing back and forth, anxiously glancing over to Emily every now and again.  
'Mom...' Emily began, only to be cut off almost immediately.  
'I deserve an explanation, Emily. Let me speak to her, maybe she can come up with a good excuse for her actions' Pam's voice was frantic and almost aggressive now, and Emily didn't like it one bit.  
'I'm sorry?'

Alison froze at the tone of Emily's voice. She didn't know what Pam had said, but she knew whatever it was had pissed Emily off.  
'She put you through hell, Emily and you expect me to sit back and just let her waltz back into your life?' Pam's rant continued, steamrolling over her daughter's words. ' 'I'm sorry but I can't do that. I'm your mother and I know best, and I'm telling you now, this girl is no good for you!' Emily was livid at her Mom's words. She couldn't believe what she was hearing.  
'With all due respect Mom, it's none of your business' Emily's voice was dangerously calm yet filled with anger. Alison felt a shiver down her spine at the tone and she watched with cautious eyes as Emily hung up on her Mother and slammed her phone down onto the counter top. Emily placed her palms out flat across the cool, hard surface and leaned into them. Alison watched the other woman's back rise and fall as she took deep breathes, evidently to calm herself. Alison wanted to move, she wanted to comfort Emily, but she was terrified. She wasn't sure what had happened, and she wasn't sure why Emily was so mad. All she knew, was that she shouldn't have picked up the phone.

Emily spun in that instant, as though her Spidey-senses were tingling and she knew that Alison needed her. She was beside Alison, calmer than ever, in an instant, and Alison melted into the woman's touch as nimble fingers brushed away the stray hair that covered ocean blue eyes, before Emily's palm tenderly cupped her cheek.  
'I'm sorry, I shouldn't-' Emily started, feeling guilty for having gotten so angry, because she could see the fear in Alison's eyes and she hated that she was the cause of it. 'We're going to be ok, alright? I promise you, I won't let anyone hurt you' she stated surely, before pressing her lips to Alison's forehead in a single, firm kiss.  
'I'm sorry, I didn't think' Alison mumbled, her heart rate speeding up under Emily's contact. It was something that she was still growing used to, though Emily seemed to love the feeling of Alison's pulse racing away beneath her fingers. 'I just, we've been so coupley, I just forgot that we're not in High School anymore, and when your phone rang, I just... picked it up, like I always used to. I should have-'  
'Hey, it's ok' Emily interrupted, knowing that Alison was spiralling and she was not prepared to deal with a panic attack tonight, not on top of everything else. 'Come here'

Emily led Alison to the bed, lying them both down as she pulled the other woman into her arms. Alison's head rested comfortably in the nook of Emily's shoulder, and her hand automatically rested against the brunette's stomach, her fingers dancing across a sliver of exposed skin. Emily lovingly ran her fingers through long, blonde locks as she felt Alison visibly calm under her touch.  
'What if she tells someone' Alison's worry was vocalised after a long period of silence, though Emily knew it was coming before the words had even been said. She knew Alison better than she knew herself at this point.  
'She won't' Emily replied confidently, as she shuffled onto her side and looked at Alison, their eyes locking. She loved moments like this. The fleeting moments where they were able to disappear into their own little bubble, and be intimate without getting, well, intimate. The times their eyes would hold silent conversations, speaking things that they couldn't express vocally, while their fingertips mapped and memorised every inch of each other's bodies. It was Emily's favourite thing to do with Alison.  
'How do you know?' Alison's obvious question brought a subtle smile to Emily's face because, again, she had heard this question coming before it had been put into words. Emily leaned in and placed a soft peck on Alison's lips, settling closer to the other woman.  
'I'll call her again later, once we've both calmed down a little. I'll talk to her' Emily promised. She didn't want to call her Mom, not at all, but for Alison she knew she would do anything.

Aria drummed her fingers on the table while Spencer chewed on her bottom lip, both women's eyes fixed firmly on the door of the dingy diner they were currently sat in. It was quaint and rustic, and evidently clear that they weren't sitting in a modern New York diner right now. Spencer and Aria had driven over 4 hours to reach the tiny town, located a few miles north of Syracuse, had a slight Rosewood feel to it; If Rosewood was suddenly stuck in the middle of an apocalypse and belonged in a teen drama, that is.  
'Top up, hon?'  
'Please' Spencer's voice was filled with exhaustion, which wasn't surprising since she had barely slept for weeks now, having spent every spare moment of her time trying to get to the bottom of this whole Mr DiLaurentis mystery. She really hoped that today would be the end of it though. The last of the endless questions and dead ends.

Aria lifted the cup of steaming hot caffeine to her lips, a soft sigh leaving her as she took in the scent of the coffee, and she could hear Spencer practically orgasm beside her as she did the same. Aria let out a small chuckle at the sound, forever amused by her best friend's addiction to the hot beverage.  
'You think he'll show?' Spencer's question broke through the silence. They had been waiting for a total of eighteen minutes, and but Aria was sure that it wasn't a wasted trip.  
'I-' Aria was cut off by the diner door swinging open, the cold air whistling through the fairly quiet establishment. Both women looked up to see a scrawny, scruffy man standing before them, only recognisable by his shaggy blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. Aria couldn't help but notice that he was much less put together than the last time she had seen him. His facial hair was grown out and unkempt, his eyes were sunken in and surrounded by dark bruise-like marks, and his weight had severely dropped, as though he hadn't eaten a good meal in quite some time. It was shocking, to say the least, and she almost couldn't hide the expression from her face as she took in his appearance.

'Jason' Spencer exhaled, as she and Aria looked up at the older DiLaurentis, who stood there with a sheepish, semi-awkward smile.  
'Hi' He replied, his eyes flitting between them as he remained frozen in place, while the two women remained seated. Nobody moved for the longest moment, before Jason finally broke the trance they had all found themselves in, and sat in the seat opposite Aria. He flashed the petite brunette a warm smile, one that held so much more than simple friendliness, and she couldn't help but return it. Spencer sensed the change in atmosphere between the two former lovers, but knew better than to mention it. She needed Jason's help, and that was all she was here to get.  
'Can we order you anything? Coffee? A Soda?' Spencer offered, wanting to keep Jason on side.  
'Uh, actually I'm kind of hungry' Jason admitted as he rubbed the back of his neck. Spencer wasn't sure why he was seemingly embarrassed about being hungry, but if the guy wanted food, she would feed him until he could eat no more, so long as he answered her questions.  
'Sure!' She replied, practically jumping out of her seat to grab a waitress's attention. Aria, who had remained silent, caught Jason's eye momentarily before looking away again, a deep blush settling upon her cheeks.

Emily sat on the edge of the bed, her phone in her hand and her thumb hovering over the 'call' icon. She didn't know what she was supposed to say. She knew she should apologise, but really she wasn't all that sorry. Sure, she shouldn't have spoken to her Mom in the way that she did, but she had done it to protect Alison, and Emily was sure that she would never be apologetic for that.  
'Fuck it' Emily sighed to herself as she hit the call icon on the touch screen of her phone. She placed the device to her ear and listened as the line rang.  
'Emily' Pam's voice came through the receiver a moment later, and Emily could hear the weariness in the older woman's voice.  
'Mom. I-I just called to apologise' Emily began, the words getting stuck in her throat. 'I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you, but I'm not sorry for what I said. Alison's life has nothing to do with you. She doesn't owe anyone an explanation for what happened. I know that's not what you want to hear, and I'm sorry for that, but I can't tell you her story' Emily explained calmly, her fingernails digging into her palm as she spoke.

'Okay' Came Pam's response after a long, tense silence. 'Just tell me one thing. Are you happy?' Pam asked with baited breath, because really, all she wanted in the world was for her daughter to be happy, and she could tell that for a long time, Emily was far from it. Since Alison had disappeared all those years ago, Emily had been a shell of her former, vibrant self. All Pam wanted was to see that come back.  
'I am' Emily replied simply, a hint of a smile on her lips at the realisation that, yes, for the first time in a long time, she was what could be deemed as 'happy'.  
'And you're still sober?' Pam asked, hoping she wasn't prying too much, but she needed to know.  
'Yeah, Ali's making sure of that' Emily replied, her smile growing at the thought of Alison and how protective and supportive, and incredibly loving the other woman was towards her. Alison was everything she wanted, and everything she needed.  
'Okay' Pam huffed. 'I still can't believe this, I mean, it's crazy! After all this time, she's just back' Pam added, still unable to believe that Alison DiLaurentis, the girl she had watched be buried. The sighed her daughter struggle with her grief over, was back, alive and kicking, 9 years later.

'Yeah, it took me a while to get my head around it' Emily confessed with a light chuckle. 'Look, I know you want to know what happened with her, but it's really not my story to tell' Emily drew circles in the duvet beneath her as she spoke. 'Alison isn't ready for people to know the truth yet, so I need to ask you not to say anything to anyone. For now, at least' Emily finished, hoping her Mom would agree, though she had a feeling the older woman wouldn't agree without a fight. The silence was deafening, and Emily could practically hear her Mom mulling the request over in her head. Little did she know that Pam's first instinct had been to call Jessica, but a small voice in her head had told her to wait, and she was glad she had.  
'What about her Mother, Emily? She deserves to know that her daughter is alive' Pam stated after a long pause. She couldn't bare the thought of Jessica DiLaurentis sitting there under the impression that her daughter was dead, when she was in fact alive and well across the country. She knew that if it were Emily, she'd want to know.

'Mom, please' Emily pleaded. The last thing they needed right now was Alison's Mother crashing in on their happy little bubble they were currently in, or worse, telling Alison's Dad that she was alive. Emily still wasn't sure of Mr DiLaurentis' status, but the thought of him being a live and knowing that Alison was here was enough to make her blood run cold. She heard her Mom let out a heavy puff of air, and Emily was waiting for the older woman to say that she simply couldn't sit by and leave Mrs DiLaurentis in the dark about this. So convinced in fact, that she was thoroughly surprised by the response she got.  
'Ok, for now, I will keep quiet' Pam replied eventually. 'But Jessica DiLaurentis deserves to know that her daughter is alive, Emily' She added firmly.  
'Jessica DiLaurentis doesn't give a damn about Alison. She deserves nothing' Emily half mumbled. She was greatful for her Mom's silence, but she was still angry with Alison's family for the way they had neglected her. Maybe if Mrs DiLaurentis had paid more attention, and Jason had never left, Alison would never have gone through what she went through.

'Look Emily, I don't know what happened. I do however, know that a mother's love is a complicated, but indestructible thing' Pam said softly. She wasn't about to call Jessica and she would stick by her word, and deep down she knew that Emily was protecting Alison. From what, she had no idea, but she could sense when Emily's protective nature had kicked in, especially when it came to Alison. 'She is Alison's Mom, and whatever has happened, she has a right to know that Alison is alive at least.' Pam added. She didn't want to go behind Emily's back, and she wouldn't of course, but she hated that she was keeping this from another parent. It didn't feel right to her.  
'Okay, but not now' Emily relied through a heavy breath. 'Not yet, Ali isn't ready yet' she added as she bit the inside of her cheek. Her mind became filled with images of what Alison would do if she found out her Mom knew about her. She could practically see Alison running around the apartment and packing up her things, much like she had done not so long ago. The mere thought made Emily's heart ache. She couldn't lose Alison again. She wouldn't.


	19. Please Forgive Me

Alison pushed the apartment door open as she struggled with several heavy bags of groceries.  
'A little help here?' She called, as she tried to kick the door shut behind her, the bags bulging in her hands. When she didn't get a response, she looked up to see Emily sitting on the sofa, her elbows digging into her thighs as her head rested in her hands. Her fingers were raking through long, dark locks, and Alison instantly got a bad feeling.  
'You ok?' Alison asked warily, as she placed the grocery bags down beside the kitchen counter, before making her way over to Emily. Alison squatted down in front of her girlfriend and gingerly took her hands, her eyes flicking over Emily's face for any sign of what was wrong.

'I spoke to my Mom while you were at the store' Emily replied, her voice was hesitant and when her eyes met Alison's, she could see the worry swirling in chocolate coloured pools.  
'What did you say?' Alison asked, her own distress beginning to rise.  
'She said she'll keep quiet for now' Emily replied, her fingers latching around Alison's. Her eyes locked on the joined hands and she felt as though Alison were anchoring her back to stability. 'But, she wants to tell your Mom' Emily added, her eyes flicking up to Alison's briefly. She saw the flicker of fear that flashed across Alison's face and she could feel her pulse increase beneath her fingertips.  
'Look, we don't necessarily know that this is a bad thing yet' Emily added as she tried desperately to keep her own fear under control, because Alison looked petrified. She looked as though she were about to bolt any second, and Emily couldn't fathom the thought of Alison leaving her again.  
'I mean, your Mom was shitty for leaving you, but she's nothing like your Dad. We just need Toby and Spencer to hurry up and figure out what's going on with him first, and then, maybe it'll be good for you to get back in touch with your Mom again' Emily stated positively, wanting to show Alison that this wasn't the worst thing that could happen.

And what if he is alive?' Alison asked after a beat. She understood what Emily was trying to do, and she agreed that maybe her Mom knowing wasn't such a bad idea, but she still couldn't shake the negative thoughts from entering her mind. She couldn't shake the fear that she felt at the thought of being found. She couldn't relax and accept that she was safe now.  
'Then we deal with it' Emily replied strongly, her voice firm and assuring. Her hands rubbed comfortingly up and down Alison's upper arms and their eyes remained locked on each other's. 'Look, I waited so long to get here with you, Ali. I'm not going to lose you now. I promise you, I won't let anyone hurt you' She added reassuringly. Her eyes flickered over Alison's face, before she pulled the blonde into a tight embrace, as though she were scared that if she let her go for even a second, she'd be gone. Alison clung to Emily, her fingers gripping the back of Emily's shirt as tightly as she could, and she finally felt herself relax in the one place she felt safe; Emily's arms.

Aria and Spencer sat in silence, watching semi-impatiently as Jason practically engulfed his burger whole. Spencer's foot tapped a mile a minute, and Aria's hand eventually landed on the other woman's knee to still her movements.  
'So, I wasn't expecting your call' Jason broke the silence, directing his statement to Aria, who had been the one to arrange the meeting. 'You never mentioned you'd be bringing company' He added accusingly, his eyes glancing to Spencer's direction.  
'I didn't think you'd agree to meet me if you knew Spencer would be with me too' Aria confessed sheepishly, her eyes not quite meeting Jason's. She suddenly felt small and unconfident under his gaze, and she wasn't entirely sure why.  
'You'd have been right' Jason bit, with a look of distaste written across his face.

'Hey, we come in peace so mute the asshole and just hear us out' Spencer snapped. She hadn't been expecting a welcome parade and balloons, but she definitely wasn't going to let Jason treat them with anything but civility. Jason's eyes locked on to Spencer's and he seemed to mull over her words as he chewed on a french fry like a cow would chew grass.  
'Fine' He replied after a moment. 'So, what can I do for you?' He asked, wanting to get this meeting over and done with so he could move on and forget all about it.  
'We came to talk to you about Alison' Spencer's voice was softly spoken, yet assertive and factual. Jason's eyes widened at the mention of his sister, and Spencer didn't miss how he quickly looked away from her, shifting in his seat as though he were suddenly uncomfortable. He cleared his throat anxiously and glanced to Aria, before looking back at Spencer again.

'What about her?' He asked gruffly, his eyes still not quite meeting Spencer or Aria.  
'We know that she's alive, and I have a feeling that you know too' Spencer replied surely. She hadn't intended to be so blunt with the revelation of Alison's 'death', but she was a great judge of character, and an even better judge of body language, and everything about the way that Jason was squirming told her that he knew more than he was intending to let on. Jason picked up a french fry and pulled it apart, an anxious look spreading across his face, which was all Spencer needed to know that her theory had been correct.  
'What makes you think she's alive?' Jason asked with faux bravado. 'We buried her remember?' He added in an attempt to solidify his confidence, but Spencer wasn't fooled a bit. She knew when someone was trying their best to solidify a story, she had seen it plenty of times in the court room, and Jason was doing a poor attempt at it.  
'Cut the bullshit, Jason. I know that you know, that the body we buried all those years ago was not Alison's' Spencer's words cut like a knife. 'In fact, I have a feeling you know a lot more than you're letting on' she added indefinitely, causing Jason's fake confidence to drop immediately.

Jason remained silent for a good few minutes, while Spencer stared him down. Neither of them moved, and Aria watched them closely, waiting for one of them to break. In the end, she simply couldn't stand the tension anymore. Aria reached across the table and rested her hand gingerly on Jason's, covering his clenched fist with her palm. His eyes snapped to Aria's and his icy exterior instantly melted when he was met with a look of pure empathy. Aria could see past the angry, stubborn persona he was portraying, and instead saw a broken, damaged individual. She couldn't help but wonder what exactly had caused the man she knew and had held so much love for, once upon a time, to crumble so spectacularly.  
'Please' Aria whispered as she took his hand fully into her own and brushed her thumb across his knuckles. Jason swallowed hard and took in a deep breath as the tension between the two intensified.

'Is she ok?' Jason asked after a moment, his tone was warm and soft as he directed his words towards Aria, only glancing in Spencer's direction for a brief second. Spencer couldn't believe how his demeanour had changed so drastically with just a single word from Aria, clearly their relationship had been a lot more serious that the other woman had let on.  
'Yeah, she's ok. She's scared though. Really scared' Aria answered softly as Jason's eyes remained trained on her thumb, that still brushed effortlessly back and forth across the back of his hand. His eyes snapped up at her words.  
'She doesn't have anything to be scared of, I made sure of that' He replied, his voice trailing off with the last few words. His face distorted, as though he had a bad taste in his mouth, causing Spencer's eyes to narrow suspiciously.  
'What do you mean?' She asked, hoping that she was about to get the answers she had come for. Jason let out a heavy sigh at the question as he let go of Aria's hand. The petite brunette could feel him shutting down again, but with a single glance at her, his walls fell down again.  
'It's a long story' He started as he leaned into the table on his elbows.

 _Jason pulled his car to a stop. As he shut off the engine, he looked up at the house he had grown up in, only it seemed different now. He used to look at the house and see warmth and happiness, even when things were everything but. Now it seemed like a dark shadow had settled over the house, leaving it cold and lifeless. He guessed that feeling came from the guilt he felt for having left the one person he should have taken care of. He had left Alison alone with the man who cared for nothing but where he would get his next drink from, and now she was gone. Jason was sure he would never get over the feeling he got, knowing that had he not left, or even come back sooner, he could have stopped it. He hadn't out rightly been told it, but he knew the way his Father had treated them both, and he only imagined what had happened when he himself had left, leaving Alison to be the brunt of their Father's alcohol induced rage. It was something he still felt guilty for. Something he knew he could have prevented, had he come back sooner, or not left at all in the first place._

 _The bang of a gun echoed through the quiet street, a flash momentarily lighting up the living room window. Jason almost jumped out of his skin at the unexpected sound. His hand hit his belt buckle, releasing him from the seat, while his other hand landed on the door handle. Before he could get the door open however, he was met with the sight of a blonde, hooded woman running from the front door of the house. His eyes widened at the sight, because even with the hood covering the majority of her face, he was sure that he knew exactly who that woman was._  
 _'Ali?' He mumbled to himself in disbelief. It couldn't be though, Alison was dead. They had buried her years ago. Still, his eyes followed her down the street, and he wished his body would work so that he could run after her to make sure that it was her. Instead, he found himself climbing out of the car and entering the house. If that was Alison, then she had clearly gotten herself into some sort of mess, judging by the gunshot that had rebounded around the house. Jason entered the house, his footsteps quiet, even in the silence of the house. He pushed the living room door open and found himself met with the sight of a frail Kenneth_ _DiLaurentis_ _covered in deep, claret blood._

 _'Dad?'_  
 _'Jason. Help me' The old man begged, his hand clutched tightly to his shoulder. He looked up at his son with a pained look on his face, and Jason's body kicked into auto-pilot. He ripped his shirt off as he squatted down in front of his Father and pressed the material to the wound._  
 _'What happened?' He asked, as he looked up at Mr_ _DiLaurentis_ _. He noticed that his Father had aged significantly in the last year or so, and if Jason didn't know any better, he'd say that the older man was sick._  
 _'She...she shot me' Kenneth gasped in disbelief, the smell of alcohol permeating the air around them._  
 _'Who shot you?' Jason asked. He had an idea, but he needed confirmation. He needed to know that he had seen what he thought he had._  
 _'Alison' Mr_ _DiLaurentis_ _said breathlessly, and though he had expected it, Jason couldn't stop the shock that hit him._

 _'Dad, Alison is dead' Jason replied unsurely. His hands shook against the wound on his Father's chest as he tried to quell the blood flow._  
 _'No, she was here' The older man's voice quickly grew weak, and Jason could only guess it was because of the amount of blood he was losing, which had now coated his grey t-shirt in thick, dark blood. Everything was happening so fast, there was too much for him to take in. His Sister was alive, and had come back from the presumed dead to shoot their Father. In what Universe did that made sense?_  
 _'I thought she was dead, I-I thought...'_  
 _'You thought what?' Jason's voice was sharp and impatient, because he needed answers and he needed them quickly. He was sure that his Dad wasn't going to survive this, and he knew that once the older man was gone, so would be the answers he so desperately needed._  
 _'I'm so sorry Jason. I'm so sorry' Came the barely audible, yet sincere, apology._

 _Jason had an idea what his Father could be apologising for, but he needed to know. He needed to hear the words come from the old man's mouth._  
 _'Sorry for what?' His demanded through clenched teeth. His heart pounded furiously in his ears._  
 _'Karma's a wonderful thing, isn't it?' The response was confusing, to say the least. Enough so, that it briefly snapped Jason from his impending rage and captured his curiosity for the briefest of moments._  
 _'What are you talking about?' Jason asked again, a desperate edge to his voice._  
 _'I'm dying Jason. Liver Disease' Kenneth stated matter of_ _factly_ _, though his voice was weak and raspy, as though he were clinging to the last legs of life. 'I guess that's what you get when you kill your own daughter'_

 _Bang. The words were like a shot to the head for Jason. His eyes snapped up and his hand loosened from its grip on the old man's shoulder. The blood-soaked shirt fell to the group, allowing the thick, dark liquid to ooze from Mr_ _DiLaurentis_ _' wound._  
 _'I'm so sorry' Kenneth whispered, his lips shaking and pale as he spoke._  
 _Jason's fist connected with Kenneth's face before he could even register what he was doing. He looked down at the man, who looked frail and scared. Jason could practically see the life draining out of his Father, but he didn't feel an ounce of remorse._  
 _'What did you do to her?' Jason growled, his fists shook as they clenched into tight balls._  
 _'Jason...' Kenneth wheezed, before coughing a little, causing a small spurt of blood to dribble onto his chin. Jason knew he should care, his Father was dying and regardless to what kind of a man he had been, that should mean something to Jason, but he couldn't help but hate the old man in front of him. Jason was livid with what he had found out. What his Father had done to his Sister. He couldn't understand how anyone could live with themselves after that, but then seeing the state of the older man, Jason quickly realised that he hadn't lived with it. He had drunk himself stupid in order to forget what a monster he was._

 _'What did you do to Ali!?' Jason's voice was ferocious, his face reddening with the rage he had inherited from his piece of shit Father, though he usually had better control of it. He leaned over Kenneth with his fist raised, ready to strike again._  
 _'I hit her. I hit her a lot' Kenneth replied with fear-filled eyes. He knew he was dying, but he didn't want to go like this, not at the hands of his children. He had experienced what it felt like to kill someone, and it was hell to live with. He didn't want that torture for Jason and Alison._  
 _'And what, you beat the living shit out of her and buried her?' Jason screamed, the veins in his neck pulsating and bulging as he tensed more so with each second._  
 _'No, I didn't bury her. I couldn't do it. I drove her to the woods and I left her there' Mr_ _DiLaurentis_ _confessed as tears slipped out of the corner of his eyes. Jason let out a hollow laugh of disbelief. He knew what his Father was capable of, and he had his suspicions about what had happened to Alison, but hearing the words from the old man's mouth was something else._  
 _'Jason, forgive me. Please?'_  
 _'Forgive you? I can't even stand to look at you! I hate you!'_

Spencer and Aria sat in silent shock, their jaws hung low as they listened to Jason's story. Spencer had had her theories about what Jason knew, but even she couldn't have imagined it to be this brutal.  
'I hate him so much for what he did and I was so, so angry, but what I did next was...unforgivable. I wanted him to feel the way that he made Ali feel' Jason continued, his tone filled with regret and Aria could see the self-hatred that he was feeling. She guessed it was something he had been battling with since that night.  
'What did you do, Jason?' Aria asked in horror, though her eyes held nothing but sympathy for the man who was almost in tears, and was clearly struggling with whatever he had done.

'I lost control' Jason replied simply, his hand reaching out to take Aria's, as though she held the strength he needed to continue his story. He looked up and directed his words solely to her, as though she were the only other person in the room. 'I wasn't even thinking, I just hit out over and over again, and he begged me to stop, but it only made me angrier' Jason's voice caught in his throat as he tried to get his words out, and tears swelled in his eyes. 'I kept thinking, Alison probably begged him to stop, and he left her for dead. So I did exactly what he would do. I beat the shit out of him, then I drove to the woods and dumped him there'  
'Oh my god' Aria gasped, while Spencer held a stone-like expression on her face, seemingly unfazed by Jason's confession.  
'Was he dead or alive when you left him?' Spencer asked in a calm, emotionless tone.  
'He was dead, I checked' Jason replied, his voice foggy with emotion and filled with guilt. Spencer nodded her head silently, while Aria squeezed Jason's hand tighter in her own, her other hand cupping over the top of his, as though she were cradling it in her own.

'What about the house?' Spencer asked, causing Jason to look up with a puzzled expression. 'The house was sold. I'm guessing it was you who sold it? And you who bought the plane ticket to London?' Spencer expanded. Jason wasn't sure why he was so surprised by what she knew, she was always the smartest of the group, and the nosiest too. If anyone would figure out this much, then it would be Spencer Hastings.  
'Yeah. I didn't want Alison going down for attempted murder, so I tried to cover it up' Jason began to explain as he wiped away his tears with his free hand. 'I mean, I was the one who killed him eventually, but I didn't care about what happened to me, I just didn't want her going down too' He admitted sadly, though protecting Alison was the one thing he didn't regret. He just wished he had done more sooner, maybe then they wouldn't be in the mess they were in. 'I sold the house, with some help from a friend. Then I gave him half of the money to help me keep tabs on Alison. I knew if I approached her, it'd spook her, so I got my friend to keep a watch on her from a distance. I just needed to know she was ok' He explained as he bit the inside of his cheek. Aria's mouth grew into a small smile at the gesture, because this was the Jason she had fallen in love with all those years ago. The kind-hearted person he had shown only to her, and she was glad to see that underneath the broken shell he had become, lay that same loving, gentle being.

'Who was this person?' Spencer asked, her face still holding a neutral expression, that Aria assumed must be from years of playing Lawyer to a bunch of criminals and hearing horrific stories.  
'I'm can't say. Along with the money as a pay off for looking over Ali, I also swore my silence' Jason stated, his hand gripping Aria's tightly in his own as his eyes locked onto Spencer's.  
'Quite frankly Jason, your word to him means shit. I need to know who this guy is' the brunette pushed, though really, she didn't. She had the answers she had come for, only the tale had continued to unravel, and Spencer was a sucker for working out a mystery.  
'Look, it doesn't matter anyway, he got arrested a few years back for stalking some older woman. He was wrongly identified, but the old bitch claimed it was him. He went down for 3 months, but he had a really hard time in there' Jason's voice grew dark as he reminisced on his friend's experience. 'Someone started a rumour that he was in for child trafficking offenses, and he got the shit beat out of him. One day a guard walked in on him protecting himself from some low life, and he got the blame. He got another 5 years slapped on his sentence for involuntary manslaughter. Turns out the guy had an aneurysm and the impact killed him. He's been through a lot already, I'm not going to throw him under the bus after everything he's done for me' He stated indefinitely, and Spencer knew that she wasn't going to get the identity of this mystery man from Jason. Aria, however, grew wide eyed and her hand loosened from Jason's grip. She had a feeling she knew exactly who his friend was.


	20. Lovers and Brothers and Mothers, Oh My!

Emily's elbow was pressed hard into the cool counter top as she leaned her head on it, her other hand nursing the coffee cup that was placed before her. She watched through thick lashes as Alison smiled at a man across the counter from her as she handed him back his change.  
'Thanks, see you again soon' she said cheerfully as she closed the till, before turning and making her way back towards Emily.  
'Bored?' Alison asked with a sympathetic pout, her eyebrows raised slightly and Emily could see the pity that was in her Girlfriend's eyes. They both knew that she was struggling not being at work, despite how much Emily was trying to hide it.  
'No, I was just thinking about how beautiful you are' Emily replied coolly as she sat herself up straight. Alison leaned into her elbows in front of Emily, taking the other woman's fingers into her hands. It was a habit that she had quickly picked up, she loved playing with Emily's fingers.  
'Emily Fields, you charmer' Alison replied with a smirk, her eyes flickering between soulful eyes and pillowed lips.

They were so caught in their bubble, they didn't see the Man walk up to the counter. It wasn't until he cleared his throat that they broke eye contact.  
'Sorry, what can I get you?' Alison asked as she dropped Emily's hand and headed towards the customer. Emily watched as Alison interacted with the older man, who looked severely unimpressed with the fact that the waitress was practically eye fucking her girlfriend across the counter, still, Emily knew that Alison didn't care. She loved that Emily was spending her days at the Diner. They pretty much spent their days flirting shamelessly, and Emily got free food and coffee. It was a win win. Alison smiled at Emily as she turned towards the coffee machine, and Emily swore that the other woman was wiggling her hips more than usual. Suddenly, Alison's perfect ass was all Emily could look at, and she had to remind herself that they were in public, or she would have hurdled the counter and taken Alison right there and then.

The soft tinkle of a bell echoed through the diner, causing Emily to turn and look in the direction of the door. She smiled when she saw Aria and Spencer walk in. Both women looked around them, taking in the surroundings of their environment. Neither of them had visited Alison's place of work before, but they had called late the night before asking to meet for breakfast. Spencer had said it was urgent, but didn't want to talk on the phone, which naturally piqued Emily's curiosity.  
'Hey guys! I'll be with you in a sec' Alison called over her shoulder with a smile, as she piled four large mugs of coffee on to a tray and headed towards a table in the back.  
'Hey' Emily greeted her two friends 'Welcome to Williamsburg' she stated with a large smile. Spencer and Aria situated themselves to the left of Emily, perching comfortably on the padded bar stools.  
'Thanks, this place is great' Spencer stated, as she looked around with an impressed look on her face.  
'Yeah, why haven't we come here already?' Aria added, as she too took in the décor.  
'Because it's Williamsburg, and you guys are strictly Manhattan' Alison answered with a smile, as she walked back towards the group.

Alison made up two more caffeinated beverages, a strong black coffee for Spencer and a frothy Cappuccino for Aria.  
'So, what brings you to my neck of the woods on this fine Thursday Morning?' Alison asked, as she handed Spencer and Aria their drinks.  
'Thanks' Spencer and Aria muttered in unison, as they clasp their cups. Alison leaned into her elbows in front of the two women and locked her fingers together, patiently waiting for one of them to tell her why they had to meet so urgently.  
'So, uh, we had a break through yesterday' Spencer began to explain, eyeing Aria anxiously. Alison's eyes widened almost comically as she glanced between Spencer and Aria.  
'Spencer' Emily scolded, almost spitting her own coffee out in the process.

Aria immediately sensed Alison and Emily's discomfort, which in turn was making Spencer squirm.  
'It's ok, I know what happened' She clarified with a small smile and a sympathetic look that Alison guessed was meant to be comforting, though it made her feel anything but.  
'What happened to it being a need to know basis!?' Emily hissed at Spencer, though she tried her best to keep her voice down, the last thing she wanted was to cause a scene at Alison's work and scare off all her customers.  
'It was a need to know basis, Emily and when I explain, you'll understand why I needed to let Aria in on this' Spencer replied, her tone dangerous and warning, which instantly caused Emily to shut up. Alison reached out and took Emily's hand, sensing that they both needed the comfort right now.  
'Ok, so what did you find out?' She asked with a calmer voice than Emily, her eyes flitting between Spencer and Aria. Her heart was hammering and her stomach was twisting with anxiety.

'I honestly don't know where to start' Spencer stated honestly as she lifted her cup to take a sip of the warm liquid. She felt her synapses jolt as the caffeine entered her and it was as though her body physically relaxed at the taste of her drink of choice.  
'Well how about from the beginning!?' Emily snapped impatiently, causing Aria to jump in to defuse the situation before it could get out of hand.  
'Jason knows you're alive' Aria blurted out, causing both Alison and Spencer's heads to snap at her.  
'What!?' Emily and Alison both shout in unison, causing customers to glance in their direction, before gradually going back to their own conversations.  
'I was sort of going for a more delicate approach, Ar!' Spencer scolded because she had planned and prepared how she was going to tell Alison this news, and she definitely wasn't going for the Band-Aid approach. Aria held her hands out and shrugged her shoulders slightly, as if to say 'Well, what do you want me to do?'

'Wait, rewind' Alison interrupted the silent conversation, her eyes flicking between her two friends, who were both sporting grimaces. Spencer eventually let out a huff of air and placed her coffee cup onto the counter.  
'Jason saw you the night you...paid your father a visit. He knows that you're alive and he knows what happened. Everything' Spencer began to explain. 'He got the truth about what happened to you from your Dad, and, well...I don't think you want to hear the grisly details, but let's just say your Father isn't the only one who's fond of having some Brothers Grimm version of a teddy bear's picnic' She finished. She eyed Emily and Alison, waiting for a response from both of them but while Emily looked visibly shocked, she couldn't get a read on what Alison was feeling. The blonde stood frozen in place with a look that Spencer could only describe as a mixture of fear and dread, with a little trauma added for decoration.  
'What are you talking about?' Alison asked, because it was the only thing she could ask. She needed more information. She needed details and facts, though she knew what Spencer was getting at. She knew what Jason had done.

Spencer looked to Aria, who nodded her head just once and let out a breath. It was her turn to relay, and she had to bring it home.  
'Jason found your Dad, and at first he tried to help him, but when he found out what happened to you, he lost it' Aria began, trying to get across the point that Spencer had been unable to, which Aria found odd considering she had a pretty successful career in putting across facts and details. 'He was angry and well, he did some things he regrets, but the important thing is that your Dad is gone, Alison. You're free and you're safe. Nobody is going to hurt you now' Aria said softly, praying that she could ease Alison's anxiety, though she knew that there was more they hadn't yet unearthed, and she hoped she was wrong with her suspicions, but she feared she wasn't. The group went silent for a moment, taking in the information that had been put out there for them to process.

'Ali, I have to ask you something' Aria spoke up again, causing Spencer's brow to furrow, because she had no idea what else they could possibly need from the blonde in front of them.  
'Did you or Elinor ever have a problem with a stalker?' She asked, causing Emily and Spencer to become even more confused and Alison to look at Aria as though she had developed some crazy witchy powers or something.  
'Uh, yeah I had some guy who was following me around a few years ago, but I was too scared to go to the Police in case they recognised me, so Elinor put in the complaint and said he was stalking her' Alison explained. Emily's neck practically snapped as she looked at her Girlfriend, who had never told her this story before.  
'How did you know that?' Alison asked, caution laced through her tone and across her face. Her hand gripped Emily's tighter and she was relieved to feel Emily squeeze back.

'Jason. He hired a friend to watch over you' Aria explained with a soft tone. 'Do you...do you remember what the guy looked like?' She asked hopefully. Alison squinted her eyes as she tried to recall the guy who seemed to be everywhere she was, lurking around every corner.  
'Uh, he was about 5'10 maybe? He was thin, but not scrawny, had dark hair and...'  
'Blue eyes?' Aria finished, her face draining of colour, because she was certain now that she knew who this person was.  
'Yeah...wait, how...'  
'It's Ezra' Aria stated in shock, causing Spencer's eyes to widen in horror and Emily's head to snap to Aria in surprise.  
'Ezra!?' Emily yelped, her eyes filling with fear and anger.  
'Ezra? Who is Ezra?' Alison asked in confusion, because she had no idea who this man was, or how Aria knew him.

'He's a fucking nut job' Emily replied, only to get shot a look from Aria. Emily was about to scream at Aria, because there was no way anyone was telling her otherwise. Emily knew what Ezra had done and what he was capable of.  
'He's Aria's ex-boyfriend' Spencer intervened, before Emily and Aria could go at it. 'He was arrested six years ago for stalking and harassing a woman. He was only supposed to be in for 3 months, but then his sentence was increased by another 5 years because he hit some guy with a chair in the Prison cafeteria' Spencer finished. Alison looked at her in confusion, her mind connecting the dots. Emily, however, was so blinded by her anger, she couldn't see what Aria and Spencer had already figured out.  
'My point exactly. He's crazy!' Emily added, only for Alison to shoot her a look that made her shut up. Emily silently fumed, while Alison turned back to Spencer and Aria, signalling them to continue.

'He got out recently and got in touch with me' Aria continued to explain, while side eyeing a raging Emily. 'But I thought he was dangerous so I cut off contact with him. Turns out he was innocent all along. Jason said the manslaughter charge was wrong, he was trying to defend himself from getting the crap beaten out of him by another inmate, who had heard he was in for child trafficking' Aria finished, and Emily's face dropped at the revelation.  
'Oh my god... Aria, I'm so sorry' Alison breathed, her face filed with regret. She didn't know what to think anymore. Jason knew she was alive, the guy she had sent to prison was actually watching her to make sure she was safe, and he had ended up being charged for yet another crime he didn't commit. It was all too much for her to take in. Then there was the fact that her Dad was dead, Jason had apparently made sure of that fact.

'I think I need to sit down for a second' Alison mumbled as she pressed her fingers to her temples. Her head was spinning with the overload of information, and she could feel the breath being sucked from her lungs. She tried to focus on the breathing exercises that she had been taught in therapy, but she couldn't focus her mind.  
'Ali, are you ok?' Emily asks in concern as Alison tried to steady herself, her clammy palms planted onto the counter top.  
'Emily' Alison muttered as her legs shook and she struggled to hold herself up. Emily raced round the counter, while Spencer and Aria stood up and looked on in shock. Emily had her arms wrapped around Alison's body in seconds, and gently lowered her to the ground, where she wrapped her girlfriend in a warm, comforting hug.  
'Shall I call 911?' Spencer asked, her phone already in her hand and ready to dial.  
'No!' Emily practically shouted, before turning her attention back to Alison. She placed her hand on Alison's cheek and looked her dead in the eye.  
'Ali, baby, listen to me. I need you to take a deep breath in for me ok, I'll do it with you' Emily's voice was soothing and calm, which was exactly what Alison needed in that moment. She focused on Emily's breathing and found herself quickly falling into rhythm with her. Before she knew it, her chest was loosening and her head wasn't spinning as much as it had been a few minutes ago.  
'Ok, I think I'm ok now' she managed to say, her throat was feeling dry and her voice was hoarse, but she was ok.  
'Ok good' Emily sighed in relief, as she took both of Alison's cheeks into her hands. Emily took a long look at her, before leaning in to place a chaste kiss to Alison's clammy forehead.

Aria sat in a dingy bar in Queens, waiting for her companion to join her. She swirled her cocktail stick in her glass, the ice clinking against the side. She had been sat there for exactly fourteen minutes, before he arrived. His hair was scraggly and stuck out at odd angles and his shirt was creased, as though he had never even heard what an iron was, let alone used one. He was far from the man she had fallen in love with another lifetime ago.  
'Hi' Aria greeted him, a sheepish smile gracing her lips as he slid into the seat across from her.  
'Hi' Ezra replied, his smile not quite reaching his eyes, though Aria could see that he was trying. 'So, you finally called' he stated, his tone slightly accusatory, though Aria had expected that. She hadn't answered his calls in weeks, and she had given no explanation for that. She knew he would be less than pleased with her. If she was honest, she was shocked he had actually agreed to meet up with her in the first place.

'Yeah, I have something I needed to talk to you about' Aria replied, her voice soft and melodic. Her hair hung over her face just a little, and Ezra had to stop himself from reaching out to push it back. That wasn't something he could do anymore. It was a too familiar. Instead, he sat back with his hands on his thighs and waited for Aria to talk.  
'I spoke with Jason DiLaurentis yesterday. He explained everything that happened with you guys. About Alison, your arrest. Everything' Aria began. She leaned forward on her elbows, her hands reaching out to take Ezra's, and he didn't fight it. He couldn't. He was too enamoured by her to pull away.  
'I am so sorry Ezra' Aria apologised, her heart breaking for the man sat before her. He was a good man, and Aria could see how damaged he had become because of something that wasn't his fault. 'I should never have turned my back on you the way that I did. I should have known that you weren't that person'  
'It's alright. I mean, what was you supposed to think?' He replied, leaning in to the touch of the tiny woman before him. 'I wouldn't have believed I was innocent either' He added sincerely.

'But I should have known. I should have known that you weren't capable of what they said' Aria argued, her eyes stinging because she couldn't shake the guilt that she felt. She couldn't help but feel responsible for the downfall of the man she once loved.  
'Aria, I'm not going to lie and say that it didn't hurt' Ezra replied after a moment, his eyes searching Aria's. She suddenly felt naked under his stare, and she wasn't entirely sure how she felt about it. 'But, you're here now and you know the truth. Now, we can move on and build something. Together' He added, a small smile gracing his features, and Aria felt her stomach twist. She was giving him all the wrong signals, and she could see that he still loved her. Aria pulled her hand away from Ezra's, causing him to look at her in confusion.  
'Ezra, I don't want you to get the wrong impression here. I care about you, a lot, but I've moved on with my life' Aria stated delicately. The last thing she wanted was to hurt him, but Aria knew she couldn't lead Ezra on. She had to make it clear that her feelings for him were purely platonic.

'What do you mean you've moved on?' Ezra asked, his voice edged with a curt tone. His eyes steeled over coldly and Aria almost flinched at the look on his face.  
'Our relationship was years ago. I'm not the same person I was back then' Aria began to defend herself. She wanted desperately for Ezra to understand. 'I'm here to support you, but only as a friend, nothing more.' Ezra's face contorted into something that Aria wasn't sure she had ever seen before. He was looking at her as though she had just ripped his heart out of his chest in front of him and stamped on it. His eyes filled with anger and pain and she could see how crushed he was. As though she had gotten all his hopes and dreams up, only to rip them from in front of him.  
'I don't need a friend, Aria. I need someone to love me and be with me, and believe that I'm not this monster that I've been painted out to be' Ezra spat, his tone matching the look on his face perfectly. It hurt to see. It hurt to know that she was responsible for causing this man to feel yet more pain in his already miserable life. She wished more than anything that she could take that away, but Arai knew that the only thing that could do that was the one thing that she couldn't give him. Her.

'I do love you, and I'm here for you, and I don't for a second think that you're a monster, but I can't be with you in the way you want me to' Aria replied sadly. She knew that her words wouldn't make a difference, she had hurt him either way, and in hind sight she knew she probably should have just stopped talking. But, when you can see the world going up in flames before you, it's human instinct to try to slow it down. At least it was for Aria. 'I'm sorry if that's not what you want to hear, but I'm not going to lie to you'  
'Why? Why can't you be with me like old times?' His voice was cold now, but Aria could hear the tinge of sadness that was hidden in the words.  
'Ezra, it took me so long to get over you' She confessed, her eyes burning with unshed tears that she fought back. 'Even when you were arrested, I hated you for what I thought you were, but at the same time I missed you like crazy. I spent months crying myself to sleep at night, because I wanted you there with me, but over time I cried less and I started to smile more, and as the years went on, I stopped missing you'

It was the one thing that nobody could argue against. Ezra was a writer. Well, he had been once upon a time. In a different life when Aria was the sunshine fighting through the storm that was his life. When she put the air into his lungs and pulled him above water when he thought he was going to drown. When life was good, Ezra had the ability to take meaningless words and make them tell beautiful stories. But in that moment, for a guy who was a write once upon a time, it seemed like no words had ever been written. There was no story to draw from. Because when someone tells you they stopped missing you, you're pretty much screwed no matter what you say.  
'I thought going to prison was the worst thing that could happen to me' He said after a long moments silence. He looked Aria dead in the eye and swallowed hard. He could see that she was hurting too, just not as much as he was.  
'It turns out I was wrong' He finished. He pushed his chair back with a piercing screech and turned on his heels. He didn't look over his shoulder as he walked away, leaving Aria alone.

'Mom, I don't know what you want me to say' Emily sighed, her fingers drumming against her chin as she rested her head in her hand. She had been on the phone with her Mother for twenty minutes now, and the conversation seemed to be going around in circles. Emily had decided a few days ago that she wanted to spend Christmas in New York with Alison, and the recent revelation regarding Jason only made that thought more concrete in her mind. There was no way she could leave Alison alone now, not when things were so up in the air. Besides, the idea of sitting through a week of her Moms questions about her work and hiding the truth regarding her current job status was not appealing in the slightest. Alison had been thrilled with the idea of them spending Christmas together. Pam Fields, however, was another story.  
'Yeah, I know that Aunt Helen is coming from San Francisco' Emily replied to her Mother's protests and one hundred reasons why it was absolutely vital that Emily go home for the holidays.

Alison watched on from the Kitchen in amusement. She knew from experience that Pam Fields was as stubborn as an old mule. It was where Emily got her stubbornness from. She was thankful that she wasn't having that conversation with the older woman. Though she would happily take Emily's place and go through the torment if it meant that they got to spend Christmas together. Alison hadn't admitted it to Emily, but she had been majorly bummed when she learned that Emily would be going back to Rosewood for the Holidays.  
'Yes, I promise that I will come back for New Years' Emily promised to her Mother as she looked up at Alison through her lashes. Alison smirked at the exhaustion that was written over her Girlfriend's face. She finally took pity on Emily and rounded the kitchen island. Alison wrapped her arms around Emily's waist from behind and placed a soft kiss to the back of her neck, just as the other woman was saying her goodbyes and hanging up from the lengthy phone call.

'God, she is impossible' Emily groaned as she leaned back into Alison's hold.  
'You know that you can go home if you really want to' Alison replied as she continued to place soft pecks to Emily's neck, the brunette humming in pleasure at the contact. 'You don't have to stay here to take care of me. I'm a big girl' she added, as Emily's head tilted, exposing more of her neck for Alison to kiss up. Finally, Emily turned in Alison's arms, sandwiching herself between the blonde and the counter. Emily placed a peck to Alison's lips and brushed her hair out of her face, before finally resting her arms over Alison's shoulders.  
'I want to stay here with you, Ali' Emily assured her. 'We've gone so long missing out on all of these moments, and I don't want to miss another second' She added lovingly. Alison thought it was cute how Emily literally resembled the heart emoji in that moment, but she didn't say anything. She wasn't about the break the little love bubble they were currently in.  
'Ok' Alison replied with a content smile. She leaned in and placed another lingering kiss to Emily's lips before she broke the contact.

'So, I uh...think I'm going to get Aria and Spencer to arrange for Jason to meet with me' Alison stated awkwardly. She turned back to the dishes she had been washing, keeping one eye on Emily to judge her reaction to this news. Alison wasn't sure why she felt anxious, Emily had never stopped her from doing anything before, but she knew that her girlfriend's reaction was important to her. She valued Emily's opinion more than anyone's. Emily didn't say anything right away. She looked surprised, but she wasn't totally dismissive.  
'Ok, if you're sure that's what you want to do then we'll do it together' Emily replied with a certainty that relaxed Alison's nerves just a little. Emily massaged one of Alison's shoulders before running her back down to the small of her back.  
'Whatever you want, I want' she added, as she placed a firm kiss to the side of Alison's head. It was everything that Alison needed. Meeting her brother after all this time was going to be tough, but she knew that with Emily by her side she could do anything.


	21. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

Days passed quickly, and Christmas Eve flew in with a cold blast. The Weather Forecast had been saying that it would get colder before the end of the year and it seemed that they hadn't been wrong. Still, with as cold and frosty as the days got, Emily's excitement only seemed to increase as the big day drew closer. She had been bouncing around the apartment for three days straight, the Christmas playlist on her iTunes had been on a continuous loop for a little over a week, and Alison had felt herself falling more and more in love with her adorable girlfriend since they started decorating a little over two weeks ago. Time, it seemed, was funny. Some measured it in minutes, some measured it by work patterns and shifts. Alison found she was measuring it by the amount of times Emily's eyes lit up at the sight of the Christmas Tree when they turned the lights on each evening, and the smiles that took over her face as another festive commercial aired on the TV, and even that one time she belted 'Do They Know It's Christmas' at the top of her lungs one Tuesday morning when Alison was getting ready for work. Time was passing and Christmas was growing closer, but all Alison saw was Emily.

At that moment in time, Alison was watching on in amusement as Emily danced her way around the tiny kitchen area. She had insisted that this would be the year she would perfect her Mom's Christmas Cake recipe. Alison had almost doubled over with laughter when Emily had first mentioned it, because Emily and baking went together about as much as a cat and a bathtub. Still, she found it endearing that her girlfriend suddenly wanted to do something as domestic as make them a Christmas Cake, so she'd personally gone to the store and bought the ingredients. She had offered to help Emily too, but the other woman was insistent on doing it herself, and so Alison had been forced to sit and watch as the brunette sang and danced, while dropping eggs and spilling unmeasured and unsifted flour all over the place. After around thirty minutes, and three dropped eggs, Alison grew bored of watching her admittedly adorable girlfriend, and decided that she needed to spice things up a little.

With a mischievous look in her eye, she sidled up beside an unsuspecting Emily. Alison reached across the counter and grabbed an egg from the carton, and before Emily could even react, cracked it on Emily's head.  
'Oh, my god! Ali!' Emily let out a shocked laugh, holding her hands out in disbelief as egg membrane dripped down her hair and on to her face. Her jaw hung low as she looked at Alison, who was holding back her laughter and looking at Emily with the most innocent expression she could muster.  
'You are so dead' Emily chuckled as she grabbed an egg of her own and practically threw it at Alison. It was the beginning of an all-out food war, and nothing was sacred. Eggs, flower and even milk was thrown across the kitchen as the two women squealed and laughed in delight at the mess they were making. It wasn't until Hanna walked in around fifteen minutes later, narrowly dodging a rogue spoonful of butter that Emily had catapulted across the apartment at Alison, that they came to a halt.

'Woah! It looks like Betty Crocker threw a fit in here!' Hanna exclaimed with wide eyes. Her nose crinkled up as though she were disgusted by the mess in the apartment, but both Alison and Emily knew that she wasn't exactly tidy herself. Still, they took a moment to observe the egg that was splattered up the walls and the flour that had mixed with various different substances and was now a congealed mess across the floor. Emily was thankful in that moment, for the wooden flooring that spanned across her entire apartment. It may not have been as cosy as a carpet, but it was most definitely easy to clean!  
'I'm surprised you know who Betty Crocker is' Alison remarked with a smirk, as she began picking pieces of egg yolk from Emily's hair.  
'Oh Ha Ha! Of course I know who Betty Crocker is, Alison, I used to weigh like 200 pounds and ate her sugary goodness for breakfast' Hanna rolled her eyes as she cautiously entered the apartment, tip-toeing across the floor until she found a safe, clean space to stand.

'Anyway, I just thought I'd pop in and wish you a Merry Christmas, before Caleb and I head off to Rosewood' Hanna continued, her eyes still scouring the filthy apartment.  
'Aw, Merry Christmas Han' Emily cooed, as she made her way over and pulled her best friend into a tight hug. Hanna balked at the contact and glared at Emily when they parted, while Alison stifled a giggle.  
'Emily! This dress is Chanel!' Hanna screeched, her feet stamping like a five year old.  
'You got it from a flea market' Emily pointed out caustically, causing Hanna's eyes to whip over to Alison, because nobody could ever know that Hanna Marin visited flea markets!  
'It's vintage!' she argued, trying desperately to save herself.  
'Which is just a term that people use to say they're wearing old, second hand clothes without sounding like a hobo' Emily retorted, rolling her eyes at Hanna's ridiculousness. Alison tiled her head to the side and smirked.  
'I mean, she's not wrong' she added, causing Emily to beam both at the fact that Alison was agreeing with her and that in turn, she was causing Hanna's ears to redden with frustration.

'You two are impossible' Hanna grunted. 'And here I was, coming to try to beg you to change your mind and come home for the holidays' She added, as she crossed her arms over her chest and pouted. Emily wanted to poke the bear, she really did, but she could tell that Hanna was feeling a little down that for the first time ever, they wouldn't be together for Christmas.  
'I'm sorry, Han' Emily apologised sincerely feeling a touch guilty that she was bailing on her friends for the Holidays, but she was also really excited to be spending the festive period with Alison.  
'Why don't we all grab some dinner together tonight?' Alison suggested. She had seen the way Hanna's face fell when Emily said she wasn't going back to Rosewood the week before, and she was also feeling guilty that Emily was giving up her Christmas traditions to spend the day with her. Not enough that she was going to send her girlfriend off packing for a week, but enough that she felt she should try to make everyone happy. It seemed that this was a right move, because Emily's face lit up at the suggestion.

'Yeah, I mean, Rosewood isn't that far of a drive, maybe you can leave later tonight, or even in the morning?' Emily offered.  
'The roads would be emptier, I guess...' Hanna trailed off as she tried to work out the logistics.  
'Totally, it'll be so much easier to drive tomorrow' Alison pushed, trying to encourage the other blonde to stay and have some fun with them. 'C'mon Hanna, why don't we make this the year we create our own traditions?'  
'Ok, I'll call Aria and Spencer, see if they're up for sticking around a little longer'  
It turned out that Spencer and Aria had planned on driving back to Rosewood the following morning anyway, having had an awful drive back to Rosewood the following Christmas Eve. They had decided that they would miss the Christmas rush and drive back early Christmas morning, so were more than happy to join in the festivities. And so, with a quick clean-up of the apartment and an extended shower for Emily and Alison, that was interrupted by Hanna who threatened to turn off the hot water supply if they didn't take their fingers out of each other for five seconds, they were ready to make their first Christmas memories in almost a decade.

With all five girls ready to make new traditions, they headed into the city, each with their own ideas of what they wanted to do.  
'I've always wanted to go see the Moscow Ballet's Great Russian Nutcracker performance' Spencer stated, her eyes glistening with delight at the prospect in a way that made her look downright crazy.  
'I could be down with a little ballet' Emily stated with a shrug.  
'Yeah, hot guys in tights? Count me in!' Hanna added with a smirk, causing Spencer to roll her eyes. She was about to make a comment about Hanna's lack of appreciation for the arts, when Alison jumped in.  
'Uh, isn't that the one that's like 5 hours long?' she asked with narrowed eyes. She only knew because Elinor had talked her in to going to it a few years back, and it had been so long that her ass had fallen asleep. By the time it was time for the first interval, she was walking like she'd just stepped out of a Western.  
'Yeah' Spencer replied with a wide grin, as if this information made it more appealing. She had clearly forgotten her audience, and her face sunk when it was quickly vetoed.

'I'd be happy just chilling out in some PJs with hot cocoa and some old-timey Christmas movies' Aria suggested with a shrug.  
'What movie?' Spencer asked sceptically.  
'I don't know, maybe the original Miracle on 34th Street? Or It's a Wonderful Life?'  
'Oh, I love It's a Wonderful Life!' Alison stated with a smile, which Emily matched equally, because it was a movie they had watched with her Mom every year. They would cuddle up on the couch and each chocolates, and Emily would pretend not to notice when Alison cried at the end. It was a tradition that hadn't been quite the same after Ali was gone.  
'Sounds like a total snooze-fest if you ask me' Hanna grumbled. 'C'mon, we're hot, young women in New York! There's a million better things that we can do!'  
'Well what do you suggest?' Aria asked, though she was semi-regretting asking because with Hanna you never knew what would come out of her mouth.  
'Well, we could go look at the Christmas displays in the shop windows' Hanna replied, her excitement buzzing through her at the possibility of even being near a shop.  
'We all know that's just an excuse for you to go shopping' Emily shot her down instantly, because there was no way she was spending her Christmas Eve being dragged around Bloomingdales by Hanna.

'Well, I don't know then. It's not like we can just go to a bar and get drunk' Hanna retorted with a huff. Emily shuffled awkwardly, knowing she was the exact reason that they couldn't do exactly that. She was about to state that she was happy to go to a bar if they wanted to, it wouldn't be the first time she had sipped on Orange Juice while her friends got plastered, but Alison had already opened her mouth and called Hanna an insensitive troll, so she didn't see much point in saying anything else. They bickered back and forth for a while, until Alison finally suggested that they head into Central Park and go ice skating at the Wollman Rink. It was her favourite part of New York at Christmas, even if she didn't skate, she just loved watching all the families and couples, all smiling and laughing and generally enjoying the Christmas spirit. Emily quickly agreed, along with Aria and Spencer, which outvoted Hanna, who was still reeling from her bickering session with Alison.

The group made their way through Central Park, the Christmas lights lighting up The Mall as they strolled along peacefully. It was Emily's first Christmas in the city, and as she walked hand in hand with Alison, she was breath taken by the beauty of it all. Alison on the other hand, had seen the City lit up at Christmas a dozen times, but somehow seeing it with Emily made it all the more special and magical to her. She felt as though she were seeing it through fresh eyes and the glow of twinkle lights just seemed so much more magical to her. After a long stroll, the last fifteen minutes of which Hanna had complained non-stop about the fact that she couldn't feel her hands anymore, they finally reached the Wollman Rink, and Emily felt her breath taken away all over again. It was beautiful, more so than she'd ever imagined, and she couldn't believe she'd never come here before. The smooth sheet of ice that sat amongst the green of the park, was lit up spectacularly by the towering buildings behind it, each window of each building providing a golden glow across the pure white canvas. Children and parents, girlfriends and boyfriends, husbands and wives, all of different ages, were travelling around the ice at different speeds. A young teenage girl soared across the white pane, spinning and twirling effortlessly as though she were Jane Torville, while beside her was a young-ish father, pulling a toddler along by the hands and cautiously trying to ensure the young boy didn't fall. An elderly couple moved slowly around the rink's edge, hand in hand and Emily could see the love that shone between them. She hoped that she and Alison would be like that someday, old and still as in love as they were at Fifteen. She wanted it all with the blonde beside her. She wanted a marriage and a family, and a big house with a white picket fence in the suburbs and a puppy that dug up the back yard and pissed all over the carpet. She wanted the good and the bad, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health.

Emily slowed her pace as they walked around the rink towards the skate hire, causing Alison to slow with her, while Hanna, Spencer and Aria were practically racing to the kiosk to grab their skates.  
'You ok?' Alison asked, her brow furrowing in concern, because she could see that Emily was far away right now. So far away that she may as well be on a different planet.  
'Yeah, I just...' Emily trailed off, not knowing the words to say. She couldn't explain what was going on inside of her in that moment, and a part of her thought she was being ridiculous. She shook her head and let out a breathy chuckle as she looked down at the ground, which only cause Alison to worry more. They came to a complete stand still and Alison desperately tried to catch Emily's eye contact.  
'Just what? Talk to me, what's on your mind?' Alison encouraged as she took both of Emily's hands in her own and stood so they were face to face, her eyes patient and waiting for the brunette to open up. Finally, Emily looked up at her. Her eyes were practically glowing, and she had a shy and nervous, yet excited smile on her face that Alison couldn't read.

'Marry me' Emily found the words tumbling from her mouth, but she didn't regret them for a second.  
'What?' Alison choked, her eyes widening in surprise, but her mouth was forming a grin.  
'I mean, I know we've only been back together a short while and I know that I don't have a ring, so I totally get it if you say no, but...I spent almost ten years of my life knowing what it was like to not be with you, and I don't want to spend another second without you by my side. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I always have, and I know I always will. It's always been you, Alison, so please, will you marry me?' Her words were rushed and some of them ran into each other so Alison had to focus more on what she was saying, but she could feel the love and the sincerity behind the spur of the moment proposal. She could feel Emily's pulse racing beneath her fingertips that were still enclosed around Emily's wrists. She could see the energy that bounced around Emily's eyes.

Alison's own eyes filled with tears, as she took in Emily's words. She definitely hadn't expected it, and if Emily was honest, she hadn't either, but it felt perfect for both of them. It was spontaneous and unplanned and unconventional, but it was also honest and full of love and adoration, and that was their relationship in a nutshell.  
'I don't need a ring' Alison found herself replying as she threw herself at Emily, wrapping her arms around the brunette's neck as she kissed her fiercely. Emily's arms wound tightly around the blonde's waist, holding her in close as they shared a passionate embrace.  
'Is that a yes then?'  
'A million times'  
Their lips met again in a soft, loving kiss. Alison felt something cold hit her nose, causing her to break away and look up. Her smile grew when she saw large, white flakes falling slowly from the sky.  
'It's snowing' she breathed, letting out a gleeful laugh, which Emily found herself joining in with.

They were interrupted not long after, and while they were both bursting with happiness, they somehow managed to continue their night. Alison watched as Emily glided around the rink skilfully, her body twisting and turning as she weaved in and out of people. Spencer, ever the competitor, was hot on her heels, while Aria slowly and cautiously made her way behind them. Hanna was clinging to the side, letting go every now and again only to slip, her feet travelling in opposite directions, and desperately hold on again for dear life. Alison, though she could skate well, was content just stood at the side and watching. She loved her friends, but she loved even more watching Emily interact with them. Watching that killer smile and those adorable dimples forming when she laughed. The way her strong and slender legs pushed her body across the ice, the way her perfect ass stuck out just a bit as her knees bent while she moved. Everything about Emily was amazing and Alison was sure that she could spend all day, every day just looking at her. Her fingers subconsciously moved to her ring finger and a smile graced her lips at the thought that she could do exactly that. She wanted to scream to the world that the Goddess on the ice was her fiancée.

She was pulled out of her thoughts rather suddenly, as a teenage boy crashed into the side of her, causing her to tumble. Alison had no time to react, her body flying sideways into the ice and causing a sickening thud to echo around the rink as her head smacked the solid ground beneath her. The pain that shot through her skull caused her to scream out, and Emily, who was across the rink at the time, was by her side in seconds. Alison felt tender hands hold her in place and for a second she thought it was Emily, but even beyond the ringing in her ears, she knew the soothing voice talking to her didn't belong to her girlfriend. Fiancée, she reminded herself.  
'Alison, I need you to stay still ok? Don't move, you could cause more damage' came Spencer's voice, and Alison quickly realised it was her hands that were practically pinning her to the cold ice.  
'I'm calling an ambulance' came Aria's voice from above her, which only made Alison panic more, because where was Emily!?

'Em, leave it. He's just a kid!' came Hanna's voice, and while Alison knew how protective Emily was of her, she had no idea that at that moment, the brunette had a 17 year old boy pinned to the side of the rink, an iron death grip on the collar of his shirt as she berated him for being so careless with the most precious thing she had on this Earth.  
'Emily! Get off of him!' Came Hanna's stern voice, her hands desperately trying to pull the brunette away from the teenage boy, who looked like he was about to shit his pants.  
'I'm really sorry, it was an accident I swear' the boy apologised for the seventh time, and it wouldn't have been nearly enough for Emily, had she not heard Alison's voice call her from several feet away. Her hand instantly dropped from the kid's sweater and she made her way to the blonde, dropping beside the other woman onto her knees.

'I'm here babe. Are you ok?' She asked, her voice going from angry to loving quicker than she could blink. Her hand landed softly against the side of Alison's head, soft golden curls sitting beneath her fingertips.  
'Yeah. Just take me home. Please?' Alison pleaded, because right now she had a group of around thirty people staring at her, her ass was beginning to go numb due to the ice and she was generally humiliated. All she wanted was to go home and be with Emily.  
'You're sure you don't need a doctor?' Spencer asked anxiously.  
'Yeah, I just wanna go home' Alison replied, causing Emily to nod. The brunette leaned down to place a kiss on Alison's forehead, before lifting back away again.

'I want to take you home Ali, but I think you should get checked out first. I need to know that you're ok' She replied with a loving, yet regrettable voice. She wanted to scoop Alison up off the ice and carry her all the way home herself, but she needed to know that she was ok first.  
'Em, I'm fine' Alison protested, as she tried to sit herself up, only to have Spencer's hands on her shoulders, pushing her back on to the cold ice again.  
'I know, but please, for my peace of mind, just get checked out. I want to marry you, not a vegetable' she replied, causing Alison to chuckle.  
'Ok' Alison reluctantly agreed, because how could she argue with Emily when she was being so fucking cute?  
'Wait, did she say marry?' Hanna whispered to Aria, who nodded, her eyebrows sitting sky high in surprise because she had no idea when this new step had been taken.

Alison eventually got checked over by a paramedic and both she and Emily were pleased that she had gotten away with only a mild concussion. She was sent home with instructions to rest and take painkillers.  
'If there's any memory loss or you start getting black spots in your vision, then head to the ER, but otherwise you should be fine. You'll just have a bit of a headache on Christmas morning' The EMT stated playfully, causing Emily to smile gratefully, as she held Alison into her side.  
'Let's get you home' Emily said, as she let out a heavy breath. She placed a kiss to Alison's temple before helping her to her feet. They took the walk back slowly, allowing the magic of the twinkle lights to wash away the drama of the night. Emily didn't let go of Alison the entire journey back to the apartment, so she knew that she was going to be dealing with an overly protective and fussy girlfriend – Fiancée, she reminded herself – for the rest of the night. And she was right, because the second they all bundled into the tiny studio apartment, Emily had Alison wrapped up in a blanket and resting on the couch, despite the blonde's protests that she was fine.

While Aria and Spencer made themselves comfortable on the opposite couch and chose a movie, Hanna helped Emily in the adjoining Kitchen to make Hot Chocolate and Popcorn for the group.  
'So when were you going to tell us you got engaged?' Hanna asked as she watched the bag of popcorn spin around and around in the microwave. Emily let out a sigh and stirred the hot drink in the saucepan as she heated it on the stove.  
'I was going to tell you. It only just happened tonight, and I haven't even got her a ring yet' she replied, feeling the need to defend herself because she knew that Hanna would be upset she hadn't told her. If she was honest, Emily wasn't sure why they didn't tell the girls, it wasn't like they'd actively discussed hiding it, they had just both silently seemed to agree that they wanted to enjoy that moment for themselves for a while. Emily wonders though, whether secretly they were both just nervous to tell the girls through fear of getting any sort of disapproval from any of them.

Hanna replied with a small grunt and a nod of the head. The microwave dinged a second later and Hanna almost burned off her fingertips as she snatched the scalding bag from inside, desperate for something to keep her hands busy.  
'What?' Emily asked, turning her body to face Hanna fully.  
'Nothing' Hanna mumbled, as she prised the bag open and began to pour the popcorn into a bowl.  
'Hanna…'  
Hanna let out a heavy sigh and placed the now empty bag onto the counter, while Emily switched off the hob. Hanna turned and faced Emily, finally catching eye contact with her.  
'It's just that…I used to be your person, and I don't feel like I am anymore' Hanna confessed sadly.  
'My person?' Emily questioned in confusion. She wasn't sure what Hanna was talking about, but whatever it was had her pretty upset and Emily didn't want that.  
'Yeah, you know…the person you laugh and joke with, because nobody else understands why the joke is funny. The person who you call at 3am because you murdered someone, and need someone to help bury the body. The person who just…deals with your shit, because they're the only one who can' Hanna rambled, her eyes growing sadder as she continued her explanation. 'You're my person, Em. You're all I've got'

'You still have me, Hanna' Emily hushed, her own eyes growing misty, because Hanna's words rang true. Hanna was, whether Emily had known it or not, her person.  
'No, I don't. Honestly, you're like a stranger to me these days' Hanna pouted, her arms crossing protectively across her chest as though she were protecting her heart from being ripped from her chest and hurled into a blender.  
'Hanna, you live upstairs, it's not like we never see each other' Emily pointed out softly, her hand automatically reaching over to rest on Hanna's tensed bicep.  
'Not as much as we used to'  
'No, but just because we don't have dinner together every night and we're not sharing a bed every other day, doesn't mean you're not important to me' Emily replied quickly and assuredly, maintaining eye contact with Hanna to ensure that she was really hearing her. 'I owe you my life, Han. That means something' she added. Hanna still looked uneasy, and Emily wasn't sure what else she could say to reassure Hanna that she still was a very big part of her life.

'Look, Alison coming back into my life has taken up a lot of my time, I get that. But it doesn't take away the relationship you and I have' Emily continued desperately. 'You're like a sister to me. An annoying, pain in the ass, nosey sister, and I love you. That's never going away, whether I have Alison in my life or not. Besides, who else would be my Maid of Honor?' Emily finished, and the tiny smile that began to grace Hanna's face told her that she had hit the final nail in the coffin.  
'Maid of Honor?' Hanna asked sheepishly.  
'Yeah? You seem surprised by that...' Emily laughed lightly as she bumped Hanna's hip, before turning back to the hot cocoa that she had heated a few moments before. Emily grabbed five mugs from the cupboard and placed them on to the counter.  
'Well, I mean, I'd hoped that if you ever got your shit together, then it'd be me, but I wasn't so sure' Hanna stated with a shrug. Emily rolled her eyes and turned to Hanna again, pulling her in to a tight hug.  
'Who else is going to stop me from freaking out and kick my ass down the aisle?' Emily mumbled into Hanna's shoulder, before she released her and went back to pouring the cocoa into the mugs.

'Please, you'll be so excited to finally be marrying Alison, you'll be dragging me down it before I get a chance to finish touching up your hair and makeup' Hanna chuckled. The air finally felt lighter between them, much to Emily's relief. They continued their casual conversation while Emily finished off making the cocoa, before they finally made their way back to the other three women, who had settle on It's a Wonderful Life and had it ready to go. Emily placed the drinks on to the coffee table and squeezed in beside Alison, putting her arm securely around her new Fiancee. Spencer was quick to hit play and the group settled into a peaceful calm as the opening scenes played out on the screen.  
'Everything ok with Hanna?' Alison whispered, her lips merely inches from Emily's ear. The hot breath on her face caused her to shiver.  
'Yeah, I think I just need to spend a little more time with her' Emily replied as her eyes flickered across to Hanna, who was cuddled into a pillow at the other end of the couch. Alison nodded softly, her lips pressed into a subtle pout.  
'She misses you' Alison stated.  
'I know' Emily sighed as she placed a kiss to Alison's temple and snuggled in deeper. Her hand came to rest comfortably against Alison's head, which in turn rested against Emily's chest.

Emily woke the next morning with a groan, instantly feeling the heaviness that was pressing her in to the couch cushion. She prised her eyes open to see a larger mass of blonde hair than she was accustomed to, she was sure that Alison didn't have so much hair. It took her a few seconds to adjust her sight, but once she was able to see through the bleariness, she quickly realised that she had not only Alison, but also Hanna, practically lying on top of her on the couch. She raised her eyebrows and looked down at the two women who were pinning her beneath them, restraining a chuckle when she spotted that Alison had drawn the short straw. She was practically clinging to the edge of the couch, while Hanna was sprawled out across the two of them with a peacefully sleepy smile on her face.

'Morning' Spencer groaned from across the room, where she and Aria had apparently crashed on the couch. Emily wasn't quite sure why none of them had decided to move to the double bed that was sitting across the room from them, but she decided not to question it.  
'Morning' Emily replied, as she looked over at the other women. 'What time is it?'  
'Time for coffee' Spencer replied seriously, as she made her way to the coffee maker and began to make a jug.  
'Oh god, I've gotta pee' Emily moaned, as she looked down at Alison and Hanna, who were still fast asleep, and wondered how on Earth she was going to get out from beneath them without waking them. Spencer looked over and chuckled.  
'Good luck with that!'  
Emily tried to wiggle out, which woke Alison, who was grouchy because she had spent the night being pushed off the couch by Hanna. Once Alison was up, Emily had thought it would be easier to get up, but Hanna simply spread herself out more and wrapped her arms tightly around Emily, making it even harder for her to get out of the death grip. Finally Alison had enough and all much shoved Hanna off the couch, causing Emily to topple too. The two women landed on the floor with a thud. While Emily yelped as she hit the ground, Hanna simply sat up and looked around in confusion, apparently none the wiser that she had been unceremoniously thrown from her slumber.

Their Christmas morning continued un-dramatically after that point. Spencer made coffee, which was predictably so strong, Hanna made a comment about feeling like she had Parkinsons. Emily looked at her disapprovingly, while Alison glared and Spencer remarked that she had the sensitivity of a slap to the face. Aria seemed thoroughly uninterested by the conversation, as she tidied away the mess they had left of the living room the night before. In her random need to tidy and be domesticated, Aria flung open the curtains to let in some natural light, only to reveal that New York had seen much more snow than anticipated. A thick, white blanket coated the city, and it was think enough that the parked cars on the streets below them were half buried in the icy substance.  
'Well, shit'  
'I guess driving to Rosewood is out of the question' Spencer stated, as she made her way beside Aria at the window.  
'Yeah, and there's no way we'll be able to get over to Elinor's' Alison pointed out to Emily.  
'Looks like we're spending Christmas together after all!' Hanna stated with a huge grin, as though she had planned a huge, elaborate surprise for her friends.

While disappointed that their plans had gone awry, the other four women came to the conclusion that if they couldn't be with their families, at least they could be together, which was the next best thing anyway. So, with a pep in their step, partly in thanks to Spencer's coffee, the five of them rallied in an effort to make this the best Christmas yet. Alison and Emily raided their freezer, and Hanna's, for anything they could cook for an impromptu Christmas Dinner. Since they didn't have a Turkey, and were in no means prepared to be making a feast for five, they quickly realised they would be working with a whole lot of nothing. Finally gathered in Emily's tiny kitchen and with Emily's Christmas playlist blasting in the background, they worked together to cook the Pizza Rolls, Chicken Fingers and Onion Rings they had found, along with chips and Guacamole that had been the only edible thing in Hanna's entire apartment. It was far from the traditional Christmas Dinner, but Alison figured that something was better than nothing, and it was the company that made Christmas anyway, not the food.

She had been right, because despite the questionable cuisine, their day had been filled with music, and singing and laughter, and Alison was sure it was the best Christmas she had had in a long time. The day was far from over though, because it wasn't long after they had finished eating that Hanna suggested they go outside and enjoy the snow. The other four were so surprised that the one person in the group who is notoriously complaining about the cold, actually wanted to step outside, that they humoured her and agreed. It didn't take long for a full scale snowball fight to start, courtesy of Emily, who launched a snowball at the back of Hanna's head and then fell about laughing. She was then silenced by Alison, who was ready and armed with her own snowball, which made icy contact with Emily's shoulder.  
'Oh you are so dead' Emily chuckled, before launching another ball at Alison, who swiftly dodged it, causing the ball to hit Spencer. Aria gasped with wide eyes and Hanna, Emily and Alison froze while holding back their laughter. Spencer's eyes narrowed before her lips curled up into a devilish smirk. Spencer's competitive nature took over and before the other women could take a second to think, snow balls were being hurled left right and centre.

They had been caught in their own Wintery modern warfare for around twenty minutes, when Emily decided that she wanted to take things up a notch. She formed a snowball between her now numb hands and swiveled on the balls of her feet to face Alison, who was bent over at the hips as she gathered snow to make her own snowball. Emily rushed across the street and shoved the snowball down the back of Alison's sweatpants.  
'Motherfucker!' Alison screamed, as she shot upright in shock. Her hands followed the icy snow down the back of her pants as she frantically tried to scoop it out of her underpants. Emily laughed so hard, she was doubled over. She laughed so hard, she didn't see Alison's glare or the streak of blonde as she barreled her way towards Emily, rugby tackling her to the ground. Emily let out a puff of air, as she landed on the soft snow, before they both burst in to giggles.  
'Well that's no way to treat your Fiancee' Emily laughed, as she looked up at Alison's rosy cheeks. A warmth spread through her at her own words and her body took over. She leaned up to place a soft kiss on Alison's lips. The one kiss turned in to two, then three, then more. Then Alison deepened the kiss with a hungry ferocity, which caused them to lose control all together.

Emily had unzipped Alison's coat and was warming her left hand on Alison's breast, while Alison was attempting to find heat between Emily's legs, when Spencer cleared her throat above them. Emily and Alison froze their actions, suddenly remembering that they were lying on a very public, very cold sidewalk.  
'You two are the only two people who can get turned on by snow' Spencer stated, her hands on her hips as she looked down at them. 'How about we go inside? And please, let's keep it PG, or I will willingly take a leaf out of Donald Trump's book and build a freaking wall between you two if I have to'  
'Wait, Filipino people are from Mexico?' Hanna asked genuinely, as she followed Spencer in to the apartment building.  
'No, Hanna' Aria replied with a chuckle.  
'I honestly don't know whether to be appalled that you don't know where Filipino people are from, or amazed that you know that Trump was building the wall between the States and Mexico…' Spencer trailed off.  
'Of course I knew Spencer, I'm not an idiot'

'Do you remember the last Christmas we all spent together?' Aria wondered aloud, before taking a sip of her hot cocoa. The snowball fight was long over, and the five women had all warmed up and had all changed into dry sweats. They were now relaxing on Emily's couches, the room glowing softly in candle light, and had spent a good majority of the evening talking about past Christmases and memories from High School.  
'Yeah, didn't Hanna kiss that guy at the Winter Ball?' Alison recalled with a smile. 'What was his name?'  
'Andrew Campbell' Spencer chuckled.  
'Hey he was cute!' Hanna defended herself from her spot on the floor between the two couches.  
'He was not cute, he was creepy as hell' Emily argued, as she ran her hand along Alison's calf that was resting across her lap. 'He once followed me in to the girl's bathroom to give me a comb that he said I dropped'  
'That's not creepy, that's being nice' Hanna stated with a shrug.  
'It wasn't my comb and he knocked on the cubicle door while I was peeing!'  
'Ok, yeah that's creepy' Aria agreed with Emily.

The conversation continued, but Emily tuned out of it, her attention focusing solely on Alison beside her. She watched the way her Fiancee's cheeks dimpled and swelled as she laughed, and the way her eyes flitted between the women in the group, focusing on each person as they talked. The way her perfectly manicured fingers touched the spot on her ring finger, where Emily was planning to place a ring very soon. She felt herself swell with pride and love for the woman beside her. She had never thought she would have this again, and she wished she could put in to words just how amazing Alison made her feel. It was with that thought that she decided that now was the time to give Alison her Christmas present. She had been wanting to do it alone, but she had quickly realised that she wouldn't get any alone time with Alison, not until tomorrow when the other women were gone anyway.  
'Come with me' she said softly, as she tapped Alison's leg to get her attention. Alison looked at her curiously, but nodded and got up from the couch.

Emily led the way to their bedroom, which while it was attached to the living room, had some degree of privacy thanks to the bookshelf Alison had gotten a few weeks before and had built to create a partition. Emily opened their closet and grabbed the wrapped present that was sitting in the back of the shelf behind a shoe box. As she turned to face an expectant Alison, she felt suddenly nervous about the gift she had bought.  
'I uh, I got this for you' she stuttered, as she handed the present to Alison. She watched with baited breathe as Alison sat on the bed and gingerly untapped the wrapping paper. She watched as Alison pulled the paper off, her eyes lighting up when she finally saw the beautifully hand-crafted jewellery box that was a near exact replica of one she had when she was younger.  
'I know how much you loved your jewellery box when we were kids, and I know that you had to leave it behind so…' Emily trailed off, as Alison opened the lid to reveal a tiny silver ballerina that began to spin slowly on her tiny silver toes, the slow tinkering of a piano tune spilling from the small speaker in the back.  
'Em, it's perfect' Alison whispered, as her eyes remained transfixed on the miniature dancer. 'Thank you' she hushed, as she finally looked up at Emily, her eyes brimming with tears. She pushed herself up on to her toes and pressed a lingering kiss to Emily's lips, her hand coming up to cup a warm cheek, anchoring them in place.

They parted and Alison blinked back her tears, swallowing hard to remove the lump that had formed in her throat. She closed the lid to the jewellery box and placed it delicately on their bed, before grabbing her gym bag from beside the closet. Alison all but ripped the zip off and searched through her gym clothes, finally pulling out a small, black velvet box. Alison turned and handed it to Emily, silently telling her with her eyes to take it. Emily reached out with an unsure hand and took the box, taking a breath before she opened it. Inside say a small, silver heart shaped locket on the daintiest of chains Emily had ever seen. She took the locket between her finger and thumb, turning it in her hands as she read the tiny inscription on the back.  
'Au monde tu es peut-être quelqu'un, mais pour moi tu es le monde'  
'To the world you may be someone, but to me you are the world' Alison whispered, translating the French script that she had had engraved on to the piece of jewellery.

'This must have cost you a fortune Ali, you didn't need to do that' Emily attempted to scold, though her hushed voice and the look of pure and utter adoration that was written across her face betrayed her words.  
'It was worth every cent' Alison replied with a loving smile. She took the box and unhooked the chain from the velvety inside, before unclasping the catch. Silently, Alison placed the locket around Emily's neck and fastened it, placing a kiss on Emily's lips as though to seal it for eternity.  
'Merry Christmas, Em'  
'Merry Christmas, Ali'


	22. Freebird

Alison sat in the passenger side of Toby's sedan, the soft bumps of the car while it travelled at a reasonable pace along the Highway, courtesy of Spencer's grandma driving, were soothing to her. Her eyes flickered down to her ring finger as her right hand came to the same spot. Her thumb and forefinger looped around the finger, her skin ghosting along the warmed metal of the dainty, diamond encrusted ring that now decorated her left hand. A symbol to all other humans that she, Alison Lauren DiLaurentis, was officially off the market. As she took in the beauty of the ring that Emily had taken her to get just a few days previously, any nerves she may have been feeling up until that point, melted away like hot butter, and she smiled softly as she allowed herself to get lost in the memory of the day that she had dreamed about for a long, long time.

 _Emily and Alison stood at the counter, cut diamonds sparkling through the safety glass at them, as though it were taunting them. Teasing them to part with the thousands of dollars each item cost. Alison was like a magpie, drawn to the bling and the shiny objects that lay on the black velvet display. Emily, however, saw her bank balance bottoming out and her heart finally stopping at the thought of how much this was going to cost. She knew that engagement rings were pricey, but this was just extreme. Still, she figured that she would pay any amount of money in order to put a smile on Alison's face. She began to relax a little when Alison's hand made it's way to the small of her back, her thumb rubbing circles against warm skin. It was short lived, however, because not a few moments later they were approached by an overzealous assistant, who's eyes lit up with dollar signs the second the words 'engagement ring' left Alison's lips._

 _Over the next forty minutes, Emily grew increasingly overwhelmed as the assistant shoved a collection of extremely overpriced rings under their noses. They all looked beautiful, Emily would be the first to admit, but they were just rings. Emily had thought that an engagement ring was pretty standard, they were just varying degrees of expensive. She had no idea that there were so many different kinds to choose from. S_ _he had quickly found herself engulfed by whether a round cut or an oval cut diamond would be a better choice, or even that ugly looking 'baguette cut' that was shown to them at the start. Thankfully, Alison had agreed that it wasn't the style to go for. Then there was whether they wanted Silver or Platinum, or one of the various different shades of gold that were on offer. Apparently, Alison knew exactly what the assistant was talking about, as she spoke with wide, excited eyes and an everlasting smile about the ring she wanted. It was that smile and excitement that kept Emily standing in the shop and trying with all her might to pay attention to the several rings that were thrust under her nose by her Fiancée._

 _Eventually, over an hour later, Emily and Alison left the store with Emily several thousand dollars out of pocket and sincerely thankful for the savings her Parents had insisted on her putting aside each month, leaving her a nice little cushion for such an event. She couldn't help but smile at the way Alison looked down at the delicate White Gold coloured band, with what Emily had learned was a Princess cut Diamond. Apparently, it was a 1.5 carat diamond, but Emily had no idea what that meant. All she knew was that it was significantly cheaper than the 3-carat replica that the sales assistant was originally trying to sell them. Emily would have paid every cent she had in order for Alison to have the ring she wanted, but thankfully her Fiancée was insistent on a smaller, more subtle rock._

'I still can't believe she proposed' Aria stated from the back seat, having caught Alison staring down at her ring.  
'I know, it was a surprise to me too' Alison hummed, as she smiled at the memory of Christmas Eve. 'I couldn't be happier though' she admitted dreamily, letting out a little sigh as she rested her hand back in her lap.  
'Have you talked about a date or anything?' Spencer asked, her eyes glued to the road in front of her as she switched lanes.  
'No, not yet' Alison admitted casually, as though it hadn't crossed her mind. The truth was, she had thought of nothing but a wedding since Emily had proposed. 'There's a lot going on right now. We need to just get through all of this and get our lives back on track, and then we can deal with a wedding. We have plenty of time, there's no rush' she rambled the words that she had been telling herself for the past two weeks. She knew they were true, they weren't in a rush, but Alison felt an irrational need to make her ties to Emily more concrete, before they lost each other again.  
'Do you think you guys will move out of Em's apartment?' Aria asked curiously, as she leaned over the centre console between the two front seats, so as to get a better view of the other two women.  
'I guess that depends on Emily's job situation, right?' Spencer chimed in instantly, causing Alison's stomach to knot at one of the several things that were stressing her that day.  
'Yeah. I just really hope things go the right way for her today. I'm a little bit worried about what it'll do to her if they fire her all together.'

Several miles away, Emily was sat in a stuffy office with her hands clasped between her knees. Her teeth worried at her bottom lip and her heart was hammering away in her chest. She rubbed her clammy hands against the smooth fabric of her suit pants as she waited impatiently for the head of HR and the clinics legal representative to arrive. She felt as though she were sitting facing two paths ahead of her. One would bring her back to Earth and to the job she had worked so hard for, the other would send her veering off a cliff, like some fucked up game of Mario Kart. Only she wouldn't be avoiding turtle shells and banana skins, she'd be facing unemployment and red eviction notices, because she wouldn't be able to pay her rent.  
'Emily, I'm sorry to keep you waiting' came a hard voice from behind her. Emily snapped back into the room, pulling herself from her thoughts. She hadn't even heard the door open.  
'Oh, that's fine' Emily replied, as she stood on her feet. She held out a clammy hand to shake the hands of Celia Darnwood, the head of HR, and the snooty looking male Lawyer, whose name Emily cared less about, unless he was here to give her good news. If that was the case, she'd have his damn name tattooed on her body just so she never forgot this moment.

The three bodies settled back into respective seats, with Emily one side of the large oak desk and the other two more authoritive figures on the other, as though it were some sort of visible divide between the a good and the bad. Emily wanted more than nothing to be on the side of the good, but the poker faces she was looking between were giving nothing away, and Emily's stomach was slowly rising up her body and growing heavier by the second, as though someone had filled it with some sort of lead based Helium.  
'So, I'm sure you're aware of why we called this meeting today' Celia began, her voice filled with something that Emily couldn't quite recognise. Was it regret? Disappointment? Relief?  
'Yes' It was the only word Emily managed to squeak out. Her throat had gone completely dry in her panic and worry.  
'Now, first of all Emily, I want you to know that this has not been an easy investigation. You're a reputable employee with no prior complaints or allegations, and Miss Turner's accusations are, without concrete proof, insubstantial at best' Celia began. Emily noted her posture, the way her hands clasped together and her back was ruler straight. Her shoulders were squared as though they were ready to take on the world, and yet despite the intimidating stance, Emily couldn't help but feel a small flicker of hope at the woman's words.

'However, even taking this into consideration, we really do have our hands tied with this. Miss Turner is claiming to sue the company and threatening to speak to the press if measures are not taken. This could mean that not only would you lose your job, but you would face a court case, as well as possible sentencing for sexual assault' Celia stated, and Emily could see the regret in the woman's eyes. She did not want it to come to this. She wanted it to be a happy outcome, as much as Emily herself did. But, it seemed it wasn't going to be that way.  
'Though you are a valued member of staff and are greatly loved within the company, I hope you understand that it's within the best interests of both the company and yourself, that we terminate your contract as of immediately' Emily didn't hear anything else. The rest of Celia's words were a blur. She simply nodded and held back tears as Celia spoke of settlement money and a pay out fee that Emily would receive within an indeterminate amount of time. She wanted to scream at Celia that she didn't want a pay out, she wanted her job. She wanted her career. She didn't want it all to be struck from her, because of one stupid mistake and a bitter woman who couldn't accept the word no.

Emily walked from the clinic twenty minutes later, having signed away her career. She wanted to cry. She wanted to hurl a table across the room and scream about how unfair this all was. She could feel her face growing hotter and she knew she needed to get her anger out somehow. She strained a smile as Sophia said goodbye, not knowing that it would be the last time she would see her favourite physio. Once she finally reached the cool air of the Manhattan street, Emily took a large breath. She pulled out the pack of cigarettes that she barely touched these days, and lit one. She felt herself relax just a small amount as she inhaled the smoke, holding it in her mouth and letting it swirl around her chest before she exhaled it with a shaky breath. She did this a few times, before she pulled her phone out of her purse. She wanted to call Alison, knowing she was the only person who could really calm her right now, but she knew her Fiancée had other things to focus on right now. Instead she hit the name of the only other person in the world, who could make her feel like less of a disaster.  
'Hey, Han. What you doing right now?'

Alison gulped the water from her glass. She sat at a table in a tucked away booth, sitting opposite Spencer and Aria. It was the same dingy diner they had visited a few weeks earlier, situated in the tiny, run down town in Syracuse. Unlike New York, where the snow ploughs and city commuters had washed away the icy weather, the snow was still settled thick on the ground. The windows were frosted with ice and were coated in condensation from the heat inside of the diner. Spencer mentally noted that the outside matched the coldness that sat amongst their small group. None of them had spoken since they had settled in the booth, other than Spencer's order of a large coffee, and Alison was practically inhaling water by the gallon in an effort to calm her nerves. Aria was practically vibrating beside her, and Spencer wanted to tell her to chill, but she couldn't seem to find her voice. So with Aria bouncing like a rabbit and Alison drinking like a fish, Spencer lost herself in the familiar comfort of her favourite form of caffeine, and attempted to block out her surroundings.

The awkward silence was broken abruptly by the tinkle of a bell. Alison almost snapped her neck as she whipped her head around towards the entrance. Her heart hammered in her chest as she saw the first glimpse of her brother. His sandy coloured hair was longer than she had ever seen it, and he his formerly clean shaven face was now covered in thick, messy stubble. His former muscular body that he had spent many a night in the gym trying to perfect, had withered and was instead replaced with a scrawny, skinny frame. Quite frankly, he looked as though the years had been as tough on him as they had been on her, and she couldn't help but feel responsible for that. She stood and hugged him, his arms wrapping strongly around her and he held her tight, as though he was scared that if he let her go, she would disappear on him again.  
'Hi, Ali'  
'Hi Jase' Alison greeted him, pulling back with a genuine smile. As she looked at him again, she noticed that though Jason's appearance had changed vastly from the last time she saw him, he still had the same kind eyes that she always remembered and they were still filled with love and protectiveness.

They ordered food and Alison picked at the fries on her plate, while Jason engulfed a huge burger. She watched him in amusement as he ate like he hadn't eaten in a long time. She wondered whether that was the case, but she daren't ask him. Jason was proud, if anything, and Alison figured that part of him hadn't changed. He could be homeless and starving and he'd never admit it. So the group made small talk for a while. It was awkward and tense, and Spencer eventually figured that they should leave the siblings to reunite alone. Aria, begrudgingly, followed Spencer's lead when the taller brunette stated she had some errands to run and that they would be back in a while.  
'Call me if you need me to pick you up, Ali' she had stated firmly, before all but dragging Aria from the establishment. Alison was relieved to have her brother to herself, but she quickly noted that it didn't feel any less awkward. Neither of them were any good at small talk, they never had been, and so they sat in an uncomfortable silence, searching for a way to bring up the conversation they both knew they needed to have.

Eventually, it was Jason who broke the ice.  
'You're getting married?' He asked, as he motioned his hand towards Alison's engagement ring. She noticed how his eyes lit up a little, and her own lips began to curve in to the tiniest hint of a smile.  
'Oh, uh…yeah' she replied awkwardly, shaking her head a little as her right hand automatically came to meet her left, her fingers brushing against her ring finger and ghosting over the ring, as they had done time and time again since Emily had proposed. Jason's eyes lit up even more and Alison's smile grew a little wider at the sight. He was excited for her, and she liked that he was excited. She liked that he was interested in her life now.  
'So…how's Emily?' he asked a moment later, his lips forming a knowing smirk though his eyes were questioning, as though he were asking the question he couldn't voice.  
'How did you…?' Alison trailed off, a state of shock washing over her.  
'Please, I knew what was going on with you guys during High School. You were never exactly subtle' Jason stated with a slight snicker, causing Alison to blush. 'When I found out you were alive, I knew that you'd find your way back to her eventually. You never could stay away from her. You two were like magnets to each other'

Alison didn't know what to say, she sat there blankly staring at her brother's perception. She realised that a part of her was waiting for his disapproval, because that's all she'd known from her family, but what came instead she could never have prepared herself for.  
'I'm happy for you, Ali' Jason said with a huge smile, which faded a second later as he continued. 'I know that life hasn't been exactly fair to you, and I will never forgive myself for leaving you in that house, but I'm glad that you've come through this on the right side of things. You deserve to be happy, and so does Emily' Alison let out a sigh. She knew that Jason felt guilty, she could feel the guilt pouring off of him, but as much as she had resented him for a long time, she knew now that none of it was his fault.  
'Jason, you have nothing to feel guilty about. You left because you needed to. He'd have killed you if you hadn't' She stated earnestly. For the first time, Alison could see that her brother was a victim too.  
'Maybe, but I should have tried to find a way to take you with me' Jason mumbled sadly.

Alison didn't really know what to say to that, because really, maybe Jason could have taken her with him. Maybe he should have tried harder to get her out, but he had come through when it counted. He had looked out for her when she had no one else.  
'Spencer said you hired a guy to watch over me' Alison said the words easily. The ice was officially broken, and the anxiousness she had before was gone. This was her brother. This was the man who had defended her and protected her for as long as he could, and then spent years after trying to continue that. She had no reason to be nervous or anxious around him.  
'I had to make sure you were safe. I wasn't going to let you be in danger again' Jason replied complacently, as though it were no big deal.  
'Thank you'  
Jason nodded silently. They both knew that Alison's gratitude was for more than watching out for her. They both knew that Alison had a lot more to thank Jason for than getting his friend to keep tabs on her. They also both knew that _that_ particular event didn't need to be spoken about for a very long time, if ever.

Hanna had been curious when Emily said she wanted to meet her at a bar, and she was more than worried when Emily ordered two shots of tequila the second she got there. Hanna raised an eyebrow, her coat frozen half way down her back as she stopped half way through removing the item.  
'Relax, they're for you' Emily stated coolly, waving her hand through the air as if it were no big deal. Hanna unfroze and continued to remove her coat.  
'I don't want to drink though' She stated, as she placed her thick winter jacket on the back of the bar stool before sitting beside Emily.  
'Yeah, well after today, I need one and obviously I can't, so you're going to drink it for me' Emily sighed, as she pushed the two shots towards Hanna and looked at her expectantly. Hanna silently challenged Emily for all of fifteen seconds, before she gave in.

'Fine' Hanna rolled her eyes and reached for the first of the two shot glasses. Emily watched as Hanna knocked back the two drinks with ease, while she sipped away on her glass of water.  
'Happy?' Hanna asked with a fake smile.  
'Very'  
'So, you want to tell me why I'm drinking for you?' Hanna asked, as she folded her arms on the sticky bar and leaned in to them.  
'I lost my job today' Emily pouted, as her eyes fixed on the bar in front of her, unable to look Hanna in the eye.  
'They actually let you go!?' Hanna almost shouted, her eyes wide. Emily glared at her and she lowered her voice. 'What assholes' Hanna finished, with her voice at a much lower volume.  
'Yeah, well from what they said, it sounds like they didn't have much of a choice. Laura Turner was threatening to go to the media, and to sue the clinic, and me, if they didn't fire me.'  
'I really want to make a comment about lesbians and pussy being like crack to an addict, but I feel like you'd yell at me, so I'm just going to order us a drink and you are going to rant and do whatever you need to do, while I get drunk and keep my mouth shut' Hanna stated, causing Emily to grin and shake her head. She knew that Hanna would be the one to cheer her up.

Once Hanna ordered herself a Gin and Tonic, and a glass of Orange Juice for Emily, she took a second to really look at Emily. She happily noticed that even though Emily was clearly stressed and upset right now, she was having no difficulty to avoid drinking. She had to admit, she had been worried. Emily didn't handle stressful situations at all. She drank her way through them until they had been forgotten, but here she was holding herself up and handling her problems with her big girl pants on, and Hanna had never been prouder. She wanted to tell Emily this, but she also didn't want to stick a spotlight on the subject. She decided to tuck the memory away in her brain for a rainy day, and keep Emily's mind occupied.  
'So what are you going to do for work now?' Hanna asked. Granted, it probably wasn't the best topic of conversation, talking about the very thing that had Emily upset, but it seemed the other woman was finding talking somewhat therapeutic, so Hanna decided to roll with it.

Emily let out a deep sigh and sipped on her Orange Juice.  
'I'm not sure. This was my career. I didn't exactly have a back up plan' Emily admitted with a shrug, as she rolled her half-filled glass between her hands. 'My career was only just beginning, and now it's gone. All because I couldn't keep my fucking hands to myself' Emily gritted her teeth as she fought back the tears that burned her eyes. She couldn't believe she'd been so stupid.  
'Look, there are still options. Just let the dust settle, I'm sure you'll figure it out' Hanna replied encouragingly. Emily forced an appreciative smile, before she bit at her lip. Hanna could see that Emily's mind was slowly going to that dark place, so she quickly found a topic that would, hopefully, bring Emily back to her happy place in the world.

'So, I heard you bought a ring' Hanna practically blurted. She internally rolled her eyes at her lack of tact, but Emily chuckled at the typical Hanna way of changing the topic.  
'Yeah, a few days ago' Emily replied, a genuine smile gracing her lips as she thought of Alison. 'Ali's over the moon'  
'I'll bet! I would have _loved_ to have been a fly on the wall for that shopping trip' Hanna mused. 'Lord knows you have no idea about rings, and well, I imagine Alison being _very_ specific' She stated with a giggle, as she imagined Emily freaking out in the store, while Alison hurled specifications for the cut and weight of the diamond, and the type of metal she wanted for her perfect ring.  
'Oh yeah, but I was actually relieved she knew what she wanted. I had no idea that rings came in so many shapes and sizes' Emily replied with a chuckle. 'Honestly, I don't even know how Alison knows about this stuff, but she's like a pro.'  
'Of course she knows about it all, she's Ali! The girl used to fill scrap books with dresses and rings, and hundreds of different types of bouquets. She even had a page on garters. She's always been wedding crazy!' Hanna stated with raised eyebrows. 'Even I'm not as hard core in to it as she is' Emily's eyes widened slightly at this information, and she quickly decided that when the time came, she would just let Alison plan everything.  
'I don't suppose you want to be our wedding planner, do you?' she asked Hanna with a wide grin.  
'Oh no, you can deal with your bridezilla yourself!'

Alison sipped on a milkshake as she and Jason talked about the years they had missed out on. Alison talked about Elinor and Seamus, and told Jason all about how she ended up getting back in touch with the girls again. Jason talked a little about himself, and Alison was surprised to hear him admit that he had slight problem with prescription drugs, but that he got it under control with the help of a friend. He never mentioned the name of said friend, but Alison was grateful to the stranger who stopped her brother from going down an even darker path.  
'And what about Mom?' Alison asked, after what felt like hours of talking and catching up.  
'What about her?' Jason asked shortly. Alison saw the way he want from chilled and relaxed to tense and uncomfortable at the mention of their Mother.  
'How is she?' Alison asked uneasily, unsure as to whether she should push the topic or not, but she wanted answers. She wanted to at least know the woman was still alive.  
'I don't know' Jason sighed. 'The last time I saw her was two weeks after the funeral, when she blamed me for leaving you with Dad and said she never wanted to see me again' He explained. His jaw tightened and his teeth gritted together as he recalled that particular memory. It was the one that eventually pushed him on the downward spiral he had started to slide down.

'I know it was because she was grieving, but I was already blaming myself so much, I didn't need to hear that from her' Jason said after a moment, and though he tried to hide it, Alison could hear the pain that he was holding back. She reached over the table and took his hand in hers, her dainty fingers gripping larger, calloused hands.  
'I'm sorry Jason'  
'It's not your fault, we unfortunately have real crappy parents' Jason stated with a dark chuckle, his hand squeezing back at Alison's for a second before he let it go.  
'You can say that again' Alison agreed, as she took her hand back to her lap. 'So, why didn't you tell her I was alive when you found out?' She asked curiously, her head tilting to the side. She was sure that if she had been in Jason's situation, she would have told their Mother in a heartbeat, if only to get back into her good books again. Jason smiled, knowing that Alison would have done exactly what she was thinking. But, he had always been so different from his little sister. He didn't crave the attention of their parents that she did. He didn't strive for perfection and achievement the way Alison had been taught to. Again, he blamed their mother for that.

'Because I figured that if you wanted her to know, you would have found her and told her yourself. It wasn't for me to tell her, just like it wasn't for me to come rolling back into your life' Jason explained, and Alison couldn't hide the guilt that she felt after having thought that she would do anything other than what her brother had done. She liked to think that had she been put in that situation in real life, she'd have done exactly what her brother did. She had to admit, she admired him for putting her needs before his own. He really was the selfless one of the family.  
'So you watched from afar hoping I'd reach out?'  
'Pretty much' Jason confirmed, bobbing his head as if it solidified his words. 'Why didn't you reach out? You know I'd have protected you' He wondered aloud after a moment. Alison let the question hang in the air for a second, as she rolled the question over in her mind a few times. She wanted to have a good answer for him. She wanted to be able to tell Jason the truth, but she was already so far from the girl she was back then, she couldn't remember the reasons for a lot of the things she had done. She knew that she had done things and that there had been good reasons for them at the time, but she felt somewhat disconnected from those memories. As though she were looking at herself through someone else's eyes.

'Honestly? I didn't know who I could trust anymore' She finally answered, her eyes downcast on her glass. 'I was so angry at the world for what had happened to me, that I didn't want to rely on anyone anymore. I was living on the streets for god knows how long before Elinor and Seamus found me, and it took some convincing before I'd let them help me' Alison explained the best she could, as she tried desperately to put herself into the shoes of the girl she was all those years ago.  
'I'm so sorry, Ali' Jason apologised again, his voice more sincere than any Alison had heard before.  
'Like I said, you have nothing to be sorry for' Alison cut him off, somewhat harsher than she intended. 'I on the other hand, should be saying thank you. If it wasn't for you, I'd be sitting in jail right now' She stated factually, finally capturing Jason's eyes as she broached the conversation they had been dancing around.  
'I just did what I knew I had to do. I wasn't letting that bastard ruin your life again' Jason squirmed a little and his face washed with a brief anger before he pushed it away. Alison felt as though in that moment she was watching the whole thing play out in Jason's eyes. She could read his emotions like a book. The only other person she had ever been able to do that with was Emily, so the fact that Jason had, however briefly, let his walls down so much was a big deal. Alison knew it meant something. She wasn't going to take this moment for granted.

'Yeah, well I owe you. If there's anything you need just let me know, ok? I don't have much, but if you need it, it's yours' Alison knew that there was probably nothing she could offer her brother, but she was desperate to build those bridges with him and bond with him again, and she figured the easiest way to do that was to offer help if it was needed. Just as long as he didn't need a kidney or something, she wasn't sure how she'd feel about that.  
'I uh, could actually do with a place to stay, if you and Emily wouldn't mind putting me up for a while?' Jason replied gawkishly, as he rubbed his hand at the back of his neck.  
'Where are you living at the moment?' Alison asked somewhat curiously, but also with a little worry. She had wondered why Jason looked so unkempt, and she hated to think that he was homeless or living in some sort of drug den.  
'With a friend, or well he used to be a friend. Not so much anymore though'

'You didn't do anything illegal did you?' Alison asked, needing to know what the situation was before she put herself, and Emily, in anymore danger. Jason raised an eyebrow and smirked a little, and Alison couldn't help but chuckle at the silent admission of what Jason had done for her. He had broken many laws in order to keep her safe, but she wasn't really talking about this.  
'Recently, I mean' She embellished, still giggling. She felt light and airy, being so carefree with her Brother, even though their topic of conversation was far from light.  
'No, I broke a very different kind of law' Jason finally replied with a slight smirk, which caused Alison to raise a questioning brow.  
'Bro Code' Jason simply stated, causing Alison to chuckle and rolls her eyes.  
'I actually have a place that you can stay for as long as you want' Alison said with a content sigh. Her feet bounced a little at the thought of finally repairing her relationship with her brother. For the first time in a long time, Alison felt as though she didn't have the weight of the world on her shoulders. She felt free.


	23. Jealous

The night was peaceful. Almost too peaceful, as a matter of fact. Emily's soft breathes hit the back of Alison's neck, their bodies merged together as though they were meant to be. It still amazed Emily, how easily she had accustomed to the feel of Alison's back pressed against her front. She had accustomed to it so well, in fact, that she now struggled to sleep without Alison in her arms. Alison felt the same. It was her happy place, being in Emily's arms. She loved nothing better than to lie there in the bed they shared, just listening to the sounds of the city outside. That sound of the city passing by, even at night, was like her own personal lullaby. It was comforting to her. Even now, while they were both fast asleep, she felt as ease with the sounds of her city in the background and her girl's arms wrapped around her. Until, suddenly they weren't.

Alison was roused from her sleep by the feeling of movement in the bed. At first she thought it was just Emily, but when a clothed body squeezed its way in behind her and an arm, that most definitely did not belong to Emily, wrapped around her waist, Alison's eyes snapped open. When a hand landed on the swell of her boob, she jumped out of bed, not fully registering the fact that she was naked as the day she was born, and flung on the side lamp to reveal a very drunk Hanna Marin already fast asleep. Emily, it seemed, was used to this intrusion in the night, because as Hanna rolled over, apparently unhappy with the lack of body to grope, Emily's arms naturally wound their way around Hanna's body and were cuddling her in tight, much to Alison's dismay.  
'Emily!' Alison grumbled, as she shoved her Fiancée to wake her. It worked. Emily was apparently so in tune with Alison's angry tone of voice that her eyes flew open the second her name left Alison's lips. She looked up to see that Alison was standing over her with a seriously pissed look on her face, and it took a few more seconds for her to piece the situation together. Once she realised that Hanna had drunkenly stumbled into their bed, she couldn't stop laughing, which apparently only made Alison even more pissed.

That was how Emily ended up dragging Hanna to the couch, before climbing back into bed with Alison, who refused to cuddle. Apparently cuddles aren't allowed when your best friend drunkenly climbs in to your bed in the night and tries to grope your naked Fiancée. Emily wasn't sure if Alison was more pissed about the fact that Hanna climbed into bed with them in the first place, or whether it was the fact that Emily had cuddled Hanna back. She was quick to point out that she was asleep, and therefore could not be held accountable for her actions. Apparently that was the wrong thing to say. Alison responded by telling Emily that if she wanted to cuddle so badly, she could join Hanna on the couch, before flipping over and huffing a curt 'Goodnight Emily', and that was the end of the conversation.

When she woke in the morning, Emily hoped that Alison would have slept off her bad mood. As she began to wake, the first thing she noticed was that Alison's side of the bed was empty and cold, indicating that she had been up for a while. That was the first sign that she was possibly still pissed. The second sign was the crashing and banging that came from the kitchen, and Emily knew that Alison was probably trying to make everyone else in the apartment as pissed off as she felt that morning. Deciding to try to put out the fire before it got too out of control, Emily got up, threw on some shorts and a tank top, and made her way towards the kitchen. There she found Alison, slamming things on to the counter as she made breakfast and glaring at Hanna, who was still passed out on the couch. Emily couldn't help but chuckle at the situation. Most people would find it terrifying to see a pissed off Alison DiLaurentis, but Emily just thought this was cute.

'You're never going to wake her up' Emily stated, as she wrapped her arms around Alison's waist from behind, before pressing a kiss to her shoulder. She didn't need to look at Alison's face to see the pout that she knew was forming at having been caught in the act. 'Hanna sleeps like the dead when she's been drinking' Emily added, as she rested her chin on Alison's shoulder.  
'I can try' Alison grumbled, as she flipped the bacon that was frying away on the pan in front of her.  
'You're cute when you're jealous' Emily cooed, as she placed a kiss to Alison's temple. She could feel Alison melting in her arms, and she knew that she was slowly calming her from the rage that was festering away inside.  
'I'm not jealous, I'm pissed. There's a difference' Alison stated in a not-so-convincing tone, which only made Emily smile even more, because how could anyone think that Alison was scary when she was mad? She was like a yappy Chihuahua puppy. She was adorable!  
'No, I've seen you pissed. This is jealousy, and it's kind of hot' Emily stated flirtatiously, as she placed one more kiss to Alison's neck and unwrapped her arms from her waist.  
'You're an ass' Alison mumbled, and Emily could see the flush that had formed on creamy cheeks.  
'I know' Emily replied with a smirk, as she leaned in and pecked Alison's cheek.

Emily pulled back with a sigh and leaned against the counter beside where Alison was frying the bacon.  
'I am sorry about Hanna though' she apologised, her face cast into a more serious expression than before.  
'It's ok, I know that you guys had a... _close_ relationship before I came back. That shouldn't change now' Alison sighed as she moved the pan onto a cold hob and turned off the stove.  
'No, but there do need to be some boundaries. I'll talk to her' Emily replied, her hands gripping Alison's hips to turn her so they were facing each other. She saw Alison's face instantly relax a little, knowing that Emily was taking this seriously. Alison knew she was being a little ridiculous, it was only Hanna after all, but she didn't want to have to worry about people climbing in to their bed at night. That wasn't how normal couples functioned.  
'Thank you'  
'You're welcome' Emily replied as she pressed a chaste kiss to Alison's lips.

'Now wake up Drunky Smurf over there, breakfast is ready' Alison stated, as she wiggled out of Emily's hands and began to make the bacon sandwiches she had been preparing.  
'Sure thing, Smurfette' Emily replied with a small salute. She turned and made her way towards the couch, smirking at Hanna, who was hugging the couch cushion and drooling slightly. With a quick look over her shoulder, Emily gripped the couch cushions in her hands and tipped them, causing Hanna to roll off of the sofa and onto the floor with a thud. Alison laughed hard, as Hanna groaned.  
'What happened? Did Russia finally nuke us?' Hanna mumbled, as she sat up. Her hair was messy and covering her eyes, and she had drool running down her chin.  
'It's time to get up' Emily stated in amusement. Hanna looked at her as though she had never met her before, confusion etched across her face.  
'Shit. What the hell am I doing here?' She mumbled as she clutched her head, presumably to ease the headache that was forming.

'Oh you don't remember? You climbed into bed with us last night, copped a feel of Ali and she threatened to smother you with a pillow' Emily explained, while Alison pouted from behind the counter, while she plated up three portions of breakfast.  
'Kinky' Hanna replied with an amused smirk. Alison rolled her eyes, while Emily tried to fight off the smile that was forming, through fear of pissing Ali off even more.  
'Come on, I've made bacon' Alison called, interrupting the moment and causing Emily's semi-formed smile to drop instantly.  
'Damn, now I know why Em was so eager to put a ring on it. Night time gropes, followed by bacon in the morning? Even _I'd_ let you put your lady loving fingers in me for that!' Hanna remarked as she hauled herself up from the ground and headed to the table. Emily followed her silently, while Alison shot death glares across the room, not that Hanna noticed of course.

They ate breakfast mostly in peace, with Hanna making odd comments on occasion and Alison biting her tongue in order to stop bitching out at her. Emily just sat between the two of them, trying desperately to cut the tension.  
'What's your plans for today?' Emily asked in the hopes that she would be able to start a casual enough conversation and keep Alison from strangling Hanna.  
'Curl up in a corner and pray for death to come, you?' Hanna replied with a groan as she bit off a chunk of her bacon sandwich.  
'I was talking to Alison, but thanks for the input' Emily replied with an eye roll, before turning to face a silently fuming Alison on her right. Alison glared once again at Hanna before letting out a heavy breath and deciding to concentrate on Emily.  
'I have to work this afternoon, but not until 2, so I was thinking I'd swing by the apartment and see Jason. See how he's settling in'

Emily nodded her head silently as she chewed her food slowly, but Alison didn't miss the downcast expression that crossed her features.  
'What?'  
'Nothing, I was just hoping we could spend the day together' Emily sighed, shrugging one shoulder as she looked back down at her plate.  
'Sorry babe, but now you're out of a job, I need to pick up all the hours I can' Alison replied apologetically, because Emily's unemployment had been a sore spot over the past few days.  
'You can hang out with me. We can be bums together' Hanna offered with a cheerful smile, interrupting the moment between Emily and Alison once again.  
'Great!' Emily replied sarcastically, because though she loved Hanna, she really wanted nothing more than to cuddle up with Alison on their couch and watch crappy day time TV.  
'Jeez, don't sound too happy!' Hanna retorted, semi-offended.  
'It'll be good for you two to spend some time together' Alison encouraged Emily, squeezing her hand supportively. Sure she was annoyed with Hanna right now, but she'd much rather Emily be with Hanna than be pouting at home alone.

Emily sighed, placing her sandwich down on her plate before looking up at Hanna apologetically.  
'Yeah, I guess we haven't done it in a while' She stated, trying to sound positive, because she didn't want Hanna to think she didn't want to hang out. She had promised that they would spend more time together, after all.  
'No we haven't, and to be honest I could really do with some new photos for my blog. I've got a tonne of new stuff for you to try' Hanna replied enthusiastically, as she continued to shovel food in to her mouth.  
'Sure, why not' Emily replied with finality, while Alison let out a slightly strangled sound. She had seen what Hanna's photoshoots turned in to. She had seen the skimpy clothing that Emily had been dressed up in, and the pictures that would then be posted all over the internet for the world to see. Sure, they were hot and Alison might even have one or two saved on her phone for her own personal viewing, but they were taken before she got back with Emily. Before they got engaged to be married. Before she had a say in the matter.  
'No lingerie please? I don't like the idea of my Fiancée being on display for the world to see' She warned dangerously, glad that she had a say now.  
'If it's not appropriate to visit my grandmother in, it's not appropriate for the internet' Hanna replied, holding up her hand in a promise, while the other held out her sandwich as some sort of promise.

Alison left the table shortly after to get ready. She rushed through the apartment to shower, dress and finally left, before kissing Emily goodbye on her way out. Hanna and Emily, now alone, decided to head straight on up to Hanna's apartment. It didn't take long for Hanna to begin pulling out various racy outfits, each more revealing than the last. Emily, reluctantly, let Hanna dress her in whatever she wanted her to wear, though she would be lying if she said she didn't enjoy it. It felt like old times, and after the first few outfits, Emily started to unwind and enjoy herself. Emily was stripping off a red body suit with lace detailing around the bust, when Hanna pulled out a black lacy corset, with clear panels down the sides. Emily's jaw hung open at the sight of it. It was elegant and extremely sexy, and most definitely something that Alison would kill her for taking pictures in it.  
'Hanna, I can't wear this. You promised Ali...' Emily stated not entirely sincerely, because her mind was racing with possibilities and scenarios for this particular item of clothing.  
'Hey, I said I wouldn't dress you in anything that my grandmother would find inappropriate' Hanna replied, her eyes twinkling with mischief as she held the corset and matching panties up to Emily.  
'So then...' Emily trailed off her question, looking to Hanna to elaborate.

Hanna smirked devilishly as she looked back down at the black lace in her hands.  
'Did I ever tell you that Grandma Marin celebrated her 70th birthday by organising an amateur Magic Mike performance in her retirement home?' She asked almost casually, before she turned to place the corset and panties back on the rack, instead grabbing another hanger.  
'No way' Emily chuckled in disbelief.  
'Yes way. I found out when I discovered the leather thong in her dresser one time when I was looking for bandaids' Hanna confirmed with a shudder, as she held another white number against Emily, before putting it back and flitting through the rails.  
'That's gross' Emily grimaced, as she grabbed for the corset, running her fingers over the delicate black lace as she bit down on her bottom lip in thought. 'But still, Ali will freak. Maybe it's best I don't wear it' She mumbled regretfully. It really was a beautiful piece, however skimpy it might be.  
'You're no fun anymore' Hanna stated off the cuff, as she continued to look through the many, many pieces she had spent her time designing and making over the past few months.

Emily remained frozen on the black number, her mind running naughty and indecent scenes on a loop. Most of them involving Alison pulling down those black lace panties with her teeth.  
'Can I borrow it though?' She asked, her throat suddenly dry and a dull ache forming between her legs. 'For, non-photoshoot purposes' she added semi-awkwardly.  
'You can have it, but only if you let me have a sneak peak' Hanna replied, finally turning to Emily with a look of what looked like victory on her face. If Emily didn't know better, she'd say Hanna had planned this whole scenario.  
'What?'  
'Please Em? I put my heart and soul in to these pieces. The least you can do is let me see them on you before you and Ali get them all covered in lady jizz' Hanna begged, her smile faltering as she turned on the puppy dog eyes, and really, who was Emily to deny that?  
'Fine. But do not tell Ali!' She replied sternly before she began to strip, easily slipping on the bodysuit as though it were made for her, which, technically she guesses it was.

Emily looked down at her corset covered body, her palms stroking down the textured pane that sat snuggly down the centre of her stomach, before moving across the softer, lighter mesh that encased her sides. She looked in the mirror and felt in awe of how the bodice sculpted her curves and enhanced her bust, pushing her breasts high and making them look perk and voluptuous. The bottom of the bodice pulled her in, causing her ass cheeks, that peeked out of the black lace panties, to look rounder and fuller. The sound of a camera shutter caused her to jump out of her daze. Emily looked up to see Hanna grinning at her cheekily, as she held her camera up and snapped another picture.  
'Hanna! You cannot use that!' Emily yelped, her hand reaching out for the camera, which Hanna quickly pulled out of her reach.  
'Oh relax. This is for my personal collection' Hanna replied cheekily with a wink.

Alison walked along the familiar hall, her body naturally making its way to the apartment she had lived in what felt like another lifetime ago. The entire building had a very different vibe to what it did all those years ago, though. Before, she was filled with a warmth and comfort whenever she entered the building she called home. Now it was a place that was filled with memories she'd rather forget about and generally gave her the creeps. Still, she figured that would be something she would have to get over, if Jason was going to stick around.  
'Jase?' She called, as she pushed the front door open and entered the living area. She frowned at the empty space, wondering where he could have possibly gone since he knew nobody other than her in the City. He had briefly mentioned looking for some work, so Alison figured maybe he had decided to get a head start on it.

Alison was just about to turn back out of the apartment, figuring she could just head to the diner early, when she heard a sound from the bedroom. She instantly remembered the last time she had heard unexpected noises from that room and what had happened between Emily and Riley that fateful night. She shook her head, trying to dispel the fear that crept up within her, and pushed herself forwards towards the door. She took a breath to steady herself before she pushed the pane open. A surprised yell came from within and Alison barely caught the sight of Jason's naked ass as he hiked his pants up, and a brunette head dive beneath the covers.  
'Aria!?'  
'Ali before you get mad...' Jason started to explain, only to be quickly cut off.  
'Too late' Alison seethed, because her best friend and her brother was just gross, to be quite frank.

Alison stormed out of the bedroom with Jason following her.  
'Ali, stop' He called after her, as he reached out to grab her arm to stop her. Alison yanked her way out of his grasp, her face reddening in anger. She wasn't sure why she was so mad, just that she couldn't control her emotions, and by the time Aria appeared dressed solely in Jason's large fitting red t-shirt and her own black cotton panties, Alison felt as though she was about to well and truly blow.  
'Ali, I-'  
'Seriously Aria!? All the guys in this city, and you had to go for my brother!?' Alison cut her off, her voice shaking as she turned on the smaller brunette, who looked genuinely terrified.  
'Ali, it wasn't planned. I'm sorry, it was an accident' Aria attempted to defend herself. She was clearly trying to be strong against Alison, but her voice was shaking and she honestly looked as though she were about to die of embarrassment at having been caught in the act with her best friend's brother.

'An accident? So he just accidentally fell into your vagina?' Alison spat with a mirthless laugh. Her eyes were boring in to Aria and Jason stood by watching the scene unfold, looking just as scared as Aria. Coward, Alison thought.  
'You know what I mean' Aria replied, her voice growing stronger as her own emotions escalated at Alison's taunting.  
'No, I don't think I do'  
'Really? You, of all people, don't know how it feels to be attracted to someone that you know you shouldn't?' Aria half yelled, own anger had surfaced and usually Alison wouldn't bat an eyelid. She wasn't one to back down from a challenge, and years of verbally sparring with Spencer Hastings had perfected her in the acquired art form. Aria Montgomery was no match for her. The subtle hint of her relationship with Emily, however, threw her off game. It was Alison's one and only weak spot, and Aria had, unintentionally, hit it with a sickening blow.

'This has nothing to do with Emily and I' Alison replied after a moment, her voice losing its strength and power. 'We were different, we were in a relationship before' Alison continued, feeling the need to defend not only herself, but also Emily, which she knew made no sense because neither of them were being judged in that moment. Aria was simply making a comparison in an effort to make Alison understand.  
'Yeah, and so were Jason and I. We may have lost touch, but the feelings were always there' Aria replied, her voice matching Alison's subtle softness.  
'Oh so you're going to tell me that this is love now?' Alison spat back, though her tone wasn't nearly at poisonous as she had hoped. Still, Aria understood the intention and that made it sting just as much as the slap to the face she knew Alison wanted to give her.  
'Maybe it is' Aria replied after a moment's hesitation. Her voice was barely audible as she half whispered the simple reply, her eyes flickering to Jason's before returning to Alison, and her heart was thudding away in her chest.

Alison felt as though someone had tipped a bucket of ice cold water over her. She hadn't expected this to go there. She hadn't expected Aria Montgomery to fall in love with her brother. She had thought that this was a simple fuck that she had stumbled upon. A one-time thing that would never be mentioned again, and she wasn't sure if she was angrier at Jason or Aria for that. But to hear that this _wasn't_ a one-time thing. That this had been happening for god knows how long, and that Aria at least, had feelings involved. That was a different thing entirely. The only thing was, Alison wasn't sure whether the feelings made this situation better or worse.  
'You know what, I can't even deal with this. I have to go to work' She stuttered, shaking her head as she turned on her heels and made her way out of the apartment. She shivered as she hit the cold streets of New York, wrapping her coat around her tightly as she pushed her way along the crowded sidewalk and tried desperately to get a grip of her emotions. It wasn't until a few minutes later, when she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, that she let herself return to the real world, and when she saw that it was Emily calling, her anger melted away with the simple _'Hey babe'_ she was greeted with the second she connected the call.

Alison spent the rest of the afternoon thumping around the diner, unable to get the sight of Aria and Jason out of her mind. When Elinor asked her what was wrong, she snapped at the older woman and told her to mind her own business. The hurt look in the woman's eyes told Alison that she needed to calm the fuck down. Emily had called stating that she wanted to take her out for dinner, so with only an hour left on the clock, Alison desperately pushed herself to get in a better mood for that. The last thing she wanted was to piss Emily off by ruining their date night with her foul mood. It didn't last long. Twenty minutes later, when she dropped two mugs of coffee from a tray and yelled out a curse word so colourfully creative, so loud that an elderly woman, who was sitting with what appeared to be her two very young grandchildren, shot her a dirty look, Elinor turned to her and told her to go home.  
'And if you can't fix your attitude by tomorrow, then you may stay gone and leave me with some peace and quiet' she snipped after Alison, as she pushed her towards the back, where their coats and bags were stored.

Emily pulled on her favourite skinny jeans with the holes in the knees, a grey V-neck t-shirt and her best plaid shirt. She wanted to look casual, yet nice, so she styled her hair in soft curls and put on minimal make up, just the way Alison liked it. She was humming to the radio when Alison walked in to the apartment, and Emily could instantly tell that she was in a bad mood.  
'What's up?' Emily asked, her hand frozen half way through swiping lip gloss on to her bottom lip, as she watched her Fiancée through the mirror. Alison flopped down onto the couch with a huff and proceeded to rant about her day. She unleashed everything, starting with snapping at Elinor and being told to go home. Then, as she slowly began to get herself dressed, she informed Emily about Aria and Jason.  
'You know, walking in on your brother boning one of your best friends, is not what you need to be seeing before midday' Alison huffed, as she yanked a pair of black skinny jeans up her legs.  
'I agree, but Aria said that they're a thing, right?' Emily asked as she watched her flustered Fiancée from the bed.  
'Yeah but surely that makes it worse' Alison stated, her brow furrowing as if she were questioning her own statement.  
'It does? Why?' Emily asked, as she handed Alison a creamy coloured chiffon blouse. Alison rolled her eyes as she pulled on the top.  
'It just does!'

It seemed that the conversation wasn't over there. Emily listened to Alison rant and rage the entire journey to their chosen restaurant, and most of the way through their first course. Finally, after what was quickly becoming the worst date in the history of dates, and once Emily found herself contemplating hijacking the date of an obnoxiously touchy feely couple a few tables over, because even joining in with their gross PDA was seeming to be more appealing than her current situation, Emily finally cut Alison off.  
'Ali!'  
Emily!?'  
Both Alison and Emily whipped around at the unexpected voice, finding an unfamiliar blonde standing beside their table. Her eyes were the same shade of blue that Alison's were, though Emily noticed they didn't feel as warm and welcoming as her Fiancée's.  
'Uh, I'm sorry do I know you?' Emily asked, as she looked to Alison for any sign that this was someone she should know. Alison, however, was looking at her with the exact same questioning look on her face.

The blonde woman's face faltered for a second, before her already impossibly wide smile seemed to grow.  
'It's Taylor. We met a few months ago? Rumpus Room?' She hinted, trying to get Emily to remember. 'You did that thing with your tongue that made my eyes roll right back into my skull and I swear, it felt so good, I almost cried' she added, her voice dropping so that only Emily could hear. Emily's eyes widened and her cheeks flushed furiously red. Her eyes darted to Alison and she prayed that her Fiancée hadn't heard, but judging by the raised eyebrow and the smirk that was disguising the fire that was flitting through her irises, that would be naked to anyone other than Emily, she most definitely had heard and she wasn't impressed.  
'Seriously? You don't remember me?' Taylor asked when she got no signal that she had jogged Emily's memory. 'I mean, I almost had you swinging from the light shade. I thought you'd have remembered that.' She added smugly. Alison almost burst out laughing at that, because this chick really thought she was something incredible.

'Sorry sweetie, I guess you're really not as memorable as you'd like to think' Alison stated with what seemed like a sympathetic smile, but Emily knew it was anything but and she instantly braced for the barrage of insults she was sure were about to leave Alison's lips. 'I mean, you can hardly blame Em for that. It's really not her fault you see. I've fucked her multiple times since your little tryst, and let me tell you, swinging from light shades is amateur compared to what I can do. I once made her scream so loud, the police got called because our neighbour thought someone was being murdered, and another the block had to be vacated due to us shaking the building so much, residents thought there was an Earthquake.' The blonde's jaw dropped at Alison's little speech and Emily wasn't sure whether she was shocked by it or severely turned on.  
'Also, that thing she did with her tongue. I totally taught her that' Alison added with a smirk, her eyebrow perfectly cocked, waiting for this woman to say something back. She was just looking for an opportunity to throw this bitch out by her hair extensions for even looking in Emily's direction, and sure, maybe she was a little jealous that someone else was eyeing up her girl. She wasn't about to go shouting it from the rooftops, but she was mature enough to admit it to herself. Emily was hers, and if she had to cock a leg and piss on her in front of this dollar store DiLaurentis knock off, then she would.

Thankfully, the woman got the hint and, with Alison not so subtly wiggling her ring finger in order for her bling to catch the light, she got the message loud and clear that Emily was off the market and not up for a repeat of their previous shenanigans. Alison was slightly disappointed she didn't get to throw down on the bimbo, while Emily was relieved for the break and also slightly on edge because she wasn't entirely sure what was going on in Alison's head right now. She had been in a bad mood all day long, so this interruption could not have come at a worse time.  
'Sorry about that' Emily mumbled, ducking her head in order to both hide her embarrassment and hide herself from any angry words Alison might throw at her. Seriously, Emily just wanted the ground to swallow her up so she could avoid this scenario all together. Alison placed a piece of pasta in her mouth and chewed slowly before she shrugged and let out a soft chuckle.  
'I mean, I know you missed me, but she was like the worst knock off in the world. Honesty, I'm not sure whether I should be offended because she was so incredibly bad, or honoured, because clearly you realised you were never going to find anyone anywhere near as good as me, so you just gave up trying.'  
And with that, the tension of the night was broken. Emily and Alison spent the rest of their meal chatting between them and, while Alison's mind was still partially on Jason and Aria, she no longer had a severe case of word vomit, and was actually allowing Emily's input and advice, rather than ranting at her.

'Ali, look, I know that it was a really shitty way to find out, but is it really that bad?' Emily asked with a tilted head. 'I mean, sure your brother dating your friend is not an easy thing to get your head around, but think of it this way. They're both great people, you love them both so much and they clearly make each other happy. That's a good thing. They could both be with people way worse than each other.' She stated softly, causing Alison to smile a little.  
'Yeah, you're right. Am I being a brat about this?' Alison asked as she reached across the table, taking Emily's hand in her own.  
'Yes' Emily replied bluntly, causing them both to chuckle. 'But I wouldn't have you any other way.' She added, causing Alison's eyes to fill with a love that she could only hold for Emily.

The rest of their night was filled with teasing and flirting, and each of them trying to get the other hot under the collar. It got so intense, that Emily was pretty sure she and Alison would end up just fucking in the back of the cab on the way home. They just about managed to keep their hands to themselves, and by the time they reached home, Alison pounced on her the second they had the door open. Emily's hands held tightly onto Alison's waist as she moved them though the apartment, their lips moving together messily. Alison let out a soft grunt as her back made contact with a wall, and Emily's front pushed against her own. Their hearts raced together and Alison's fingers clawed at the skin on the back of Emily's neck as she deepened the kiss. Her tongue swept across Emily's and her legs parted slightly, allowing Emily's thigh to push between her own, while Emily's fingers pushed beneath the material of Alison's top and danced across her stomach.  
'Oh god' Alison moaned in to Emily's mouth as she ground herself down against Emily's thigh. Her hands made their way down from Emily's neck to her shoulders. She pushed the plaid shirt off of Emily's shoulders, allowing it to fall to the floor before one hand made its way down her lover's torso. For the first time, she became very aware of the stiff, rough fabric that sat beneath Emily's t-shirt.

Alison froze her hands and pulled away from the kiss, looking down between their bodies. Emily smirked at her, knowing that Alison was about to discover her surprise and would most definitely lose her shit, in the best possible way. Alison looked up at Emily hesitantly and her core throbbed at the sexy smirk that was adorned on her Fiancée's face.  
'Em…' Alison stuttered, her heart thudding in her chest, as if to remind her that she was very much alive and this was very much real life, and not some amazing fantasy. Alison slowly slid her hand beneath the fabric of Emily's cotton t-shirt, her breath hitching as she came in to contact with the black lace that clung tightly to Emily's stomach. Her other hand slid down from Emily's neck and bunched the grey t-shirt in her fist before yanking it up and over Emily's head. Her hand instantly landed on Emily's hip, her other still palming at the lace and boning that sculpted Emily's stomach and Alison couldn't help the soft gasp that left her at the vision. Emily was beautiful, but in this corset, she was breathtakingly so.

The black lace was flecked with subtle glittering pieces and was so intrinsically woven to stretch seamlessly over the boning that held Emily's body in place. Alison delicately fingered the jutting bones of the corset, following them up Emily's torso and to her bulging breasts. Alison wondered how she hadn't noticed how significantly rounded they looked before now, but she guessed she had been too in her own head with the Jason and Aria thing, then with the blonde whore that tried to pick up Emily at dinner.  
'This is….god, it's beautiful' Alison whispered, as her hands ghosted oh so lightly over Emily's breasts.  
'Mhm, I thought you'd like it' Emily hummed in agreement as she placed a brief, yet lingering, kiss upon Alison's lips.  
'Oh I do' Alison chuckled lightly, as her hands made their way back down to Emily's hips. Her lips moved along Emily's jaw and she trailed soft, open mouthed kisses in a path to Emily's ear. Emily let out a soft moan as Alison's tongue flicked out and teeth grazed her lobe.  
'You have no idea of the things that corset makes me want to do to you' Alison husked, causing a shiver to run down Emily's spine, and before she could even think of a response, she found herself being spun around and her back being slammed against the wall. Alison's thigh made its way between her own and Emily found her body reacting of its own accord, her sex automatically grinding against denim clad flesh.  
'Ali' Emily moaned, as a hand grabbed at blonde curls, anchoring Alison's mouth to her pulse point, where she was sucking and biting, determined to mark what was hers.

Alison fumbled with the button on Emily's jeans as she tried to undo it with one hand. It took a few seconds, but she managed it, while her other was busy needing the round of Emily's ass, that she knew always looked great in her jeans. Her girl was a goddess, there was no denying that, and Alison wanted to worship every part of it. Sometimes she wished she had more hands, like that Indian God with all the arms, just so she could touch every part at once. Then she remembered something that had been hiding away in their closet since she had moved all her stuff in to Emily's apartment. It had remained hidden away, just waiting for an opportunity to be used, only Alison had been too shy until now to bring it up. She smirked against Emily's neck, realising that this was the perfect time to bust it out, before going back to business. Her kisses grew more frantic and needy, and with images of the blonde that had interrupted their date coming to her mind, Alison felt her possessiveness grow for Emily and it spurred her actions. Her efforts doubled as she became determined to make Emily fully aware of just who she belonged to. She would have been scared of the thought, had she not been so overcome by her need for Emily's body against her own. Alison pulled her lips away from Emily's neck and hooked her fingers through the belt loops at her Fiancée's hips. She squatted suddenly as she pulled the jeans down Emily's long, slender legs and sat on her heels as she watched Emily step out of them, her hands resting on Alison's shoulders to steady herself as she removed the item.

Alison looked up, gulping as she realised she was now face to face with sheer, black panties that left very little to the imagination. She could see Emily's slit through the barely there material and judging by the dark patch that coated the material just between two slender thighs, Emily was already ready for her. Alison tossed the jeans to the side and wrung her fingers around Emily's ankles. She looked up into Emily's eyes, seeing the desire and the flush of caramel cheeks that made her only want her girl even more. Alison slowly moved her hands up long, tan legs, her fingers teasing and lightly massaging at the skin as she grew closer to where she knew Emily wanted them. As she grew closer to that aching part between Emily's legs, she allowed her thumbs to dip in to the innermost part of Emily's thighs, barely touching the damp material between Emily's legs. Emily whimpered at the feeling of Alison's hot breath on her core, before Alison moved quickly up to Emily's stomach and raised herself back up onto her feet. She smirked at the frustration on Emily's face and the groan that left her mouth at the teasing.

'Ali, stop-' Alison cut her off with a fiery kiss, her tongue diving straight in to Emily's open mouth and claiming what was hers. They both moaned loudly at the bold motion, and Alison's hand hooked beneath Emily's knee, pulling the limb up against her own hip. Emily took the hint and wrapped her leg around Alison's waist, pulling their bodies closer than they hand been before.  
'I want to try something, Em' Alison mumbled against Emily's lips as she slowed down their kisses, feeling that Emily was rocking against her. 'Do you trust me?' she asked, as she pulled back even more, in order to look into Emily's eyes. She could see the hesitancy there, but Emily nodded wordlessly a second later. Alison smiled shyly, her fingers delicately brushing stray hairs from Emily's forehead before she placed a loving kiss there.  
'Ok' Alison whispered, suddenly shy and nervous about what she was about to do. She had done it before, with another girl whose name would not be mentioned, but it was different with Emily. This was the girl she loved. The woman she was going to marry and spend the rest of her life with. This was the most important person in Alison's life, and everything seemed like such a bigger deal than with anyone else. Yet, the fact that Emily was so willing to try anything Alison wanted, without even asking what it was before agreeing, made Alison's heart leap.

Alison kissed Emily softly, their tongues moving smoothly together as Emily's arms wound their way around Alison's neck. Alison's hand remained a firm grip on the leg that was hooked around her waist, and after a second to ground herself back in to the moment, she gripped at Emily's other thigh and pushed her weight in to her Fiancée, jamming her against the wall as she lifted the leg that was holding Emily up, and hooked that around her waist too. She knew she could lift Emily, she had done it plenty of times. Though she was a couple of inches taller than Alison, Emily weighted practically nothing, so Alison was able to hold her with ease. That didn't mean she wasn't going to be careful with her precious cargo though. With Emily held against the wall with Alison's own body weight, Alison hoisted her higher, so Emily's legs were now gripping around her stomach. Emily instantly tightened her hold on both her legs and her arms, hooking her ankles together in order to hold herself closer to Alison's body as she felt herself being moved from the wall she had been held against. Their kiss didn't break and Alison moaned at the feeling of Emily's wetness that was slick against her stomach. Emily's blunt nails dug in to Alison's shoulders as Alison moved them across the apartment, before lowering them both down on to the bed. Emily's legs unhooked from around Alison's body and she whimpered at the sudden coolness that hit her between the legs. Alison smiled and untangled herself from Emily's limbs, placing a final kiss to Emily's lips before she made her way to the closet.

'What are you doing?' Emily asked, her voice deep and rough and filled with arousal, as she propped herself up onto her elbows to see what Alison was doing.  
'You'll see' Alison hummed giddily as she reached for the suitcase that was stuffed in the back of the closet and hadn't been touched since she moved in. She pulled it out and unzipped it before thrusting her hand in to the small gap and feeling around with an open palm. When she felt the two objects, she grasped them in one hand and pulled them through the opening. Emily's eyes widened when she spotted the large pink dildo that was attached to a black leather harness and a bottle of lubricant.  
'Uh…I-' Emily stuttered, her jaw practically on the floor at the sight of the toy. Alison smirked at the flustered look on Emily's face and she stood up in front of the other woman, one hand gripping the toy around the shaft while her fingers on her other hand toyed with the tip of the item.  
'I thought we could spice things up a little' Alison stated confidently, though inside she felt anything but. She needed Emily to say something, because right now she looked like she was debating whether to run away and never return or take the toy and fuck Alison with it herself.  
'I-uh, I've never… you know' Emily said softly as she bit down on her bottom lip and remained fixed on the toy. It was intimidating. More intimidating than something should be when it was coloured Barbie pink and made of silicone.

Alison dropped her hands to her sides, the strap-on still gripped in her palm, and she made her way towards Emily.  
'You've never used one before?' Alison asked, slightly in shock, because she had just assumed.  
'I've never used anything like that before…and I've only ever slept with…you know, girls' Emily mumbled, her cheeks burning with heat as she dropped her eyes to her lap. She had felt so confident and hot in her corset earlier. She felt like the most sexual bitch in the world, yet Alison rocks up with a pink, rubber dick and suddenly Emily felt all that sexuality leave her body and a strange vulnerability take its place. Alison moved towards Emily and situated herself between her legs. She dropped the toy and the bottle of lube onto the bed beside them and placed her hands on Emily's shoulders.  
'We don't have to do this if you don't want to. I just thought it would be something different we could try' Alison said softly, her finger hooking under Emily's chin and tilting her head back so that she could look into those soulful brown eyes. She could see the hesitance and the nerves, but also the lust and arousal that lingered.  
'I want to try it' Emily reassured Alison, hands gripping at her waist as though it would ground her somehow. 'I'm just scared. What if it hurts?' she asked delicately, her voice laced with embarrassment.

'Em, do you think I'd ever do anything to hurt you?' Alison asked as she took one hand from Emily's shoulder and cupped her cheek. Her thumb brushed over Emily's cheekbone and Alison tried to pour all the love and adoration she felt into every touch. She wanted Emily to feel comfortable with this. She wanted her to know that regardless to anything that might happen with them or how they went about any activity, whether sexual or not, she would never put her in any harm. She would never hurt her or cause her pain.  
'I promise you, I will never hurt you. I will _never_ make you feel uncomfortable and if you want to stop then you say the word, and I'll stop' Alison stated sincerely, her fingers brushing soothingly across Emily's cheek.  
'Ok' Emily breathed after a prolonged silence. 'I want to try.' She added, her hands moving up and down Alison's sides. She was nervous, almost as nervous as she had been the first time she had slept with Alison. She strangely felt as though she were losing her virginity all over again. Yet, somehow, she knew she wouldn't do this for anyone else. She felt safe in Alison's hands and she knew that she would try anything, if only once, for the woman she was going to spend the rest of her life with.  
'You're sure?'  
'Yeah'

With Emily's confirmation, Alison let a smile grow on her lips and she dipped down to press a firm kiss to Emily's mouth.  
'We'll take this slow, ok?' Alison whispered against Emily's lips, before she placed another kiss there. Emily nodded and Alison released her before moving away. Emily watched with hesitant eyes as Alison pulled down her own jeans and panties and unhooked her bra, allowing the clothing to litter the floor. Emily allowed her eyes to flicker up and down her lover's body, something she would never get enough of being allowed to look at. She ignored the smirk that formed on Alison's face and the giggle that left her beautifully pillowed lips, and took in every detail. Every freckle and mark that decorated creamy skin. Every scar and every blemish was beautiful in Emily's eyes. She knew every story of every mark. The thin scar that ran down the left of Alison's right knee from when she fell off of her bike when she was nine. She had fallen on to a broken bottle and needed five stitches to close up the wound. Emily reached out and ran her fingertips along it, while Alison watched her curiously and simply let Emily do what she needed to do.

Emily moved her fingers up Alison's leg and to her thigh. Her thumb brushed over the angrier, redder looking scar that had been caused when Alison got attacked while she was homeless. Emily's heart always sunk a little whenever she caught sight of this one, because it had been caused during the time they had spent apart, and Emily hated that anyone would hurt the one she loved. She allowed her thumb to linger on the spot for a second before she continued her climb up Alison's body. Her fingers brushed the small freckle that sat cutely in the nook of Alison's pelvis, right in that spot that made her squirm whenever Emily kissed it. Emily leaned forwards and did exactly that, her lips opening just slightly in order for her to swallow the skin that the freckle sat upon. Alison gasped at the contact and reached out to cradle the back of Emily's head with one hand. Emily smiled at the familiarity of the sound. She realised that that was what she needed in this moment. She wanted to give Alison what she wanted, to fulfil any deep dark desires that her Fiancée had, but she needed the comfort of familiarity in order to do so. So she continued her climb with her lips. She placed small pecks up Alison's stomach, stalling at her belly button in order to swipe her tongue into the crevice, making Alison's muscles jump beneath her mouth. Emily reached out and took Alison's right hand in her own and she removed her mouth from Alison's stomach and instead placed it against her fingers. She pecked each finger and Alison let her hand go limp in order for Emily to open her hand out fully. Emily placed a wet, open mouthed kiss to her palm before moving up to her wrist. She kissed the small, round scar on the bump of her wrist. It was possibly her favourite, purely because it was so small and cute and barely even visible unless you were looking from it. Emily knew that it was from when Alison had chicken pox when she was a toddler. She had apparently scratched and scratched at them until she scarred in some places. Emily knew that she had a matching scar on her right heel, one at the base of her neck and another under the crease of her left ass cheek.

Emily kissed her way up Alison's forearm until she reached the inside of her elbow, before she darted across to kiss her lips. They kissed slowly for several minutes, just embracing each other. They held silent conversations with their tongues, each telling the other just how much they loved one another and how much they cared. Emily was urging her nerves into Alison, while Alison was promising to protect Emily from anything and everything. Finally, Emily pulled back and rested her forehead to Alison's, something that had always just somehow been something they did for comfort. Neither of them were really sure when it started, but it was their go to position when they needed to just feel each other.  
'Ok, I think I'm ready' Emily breathed against Alison's lips. Her breathing was laboured and hot against Alison's face, and it caused her insides twinge with anticipation.  
'Ok' Alison replied simply, while not moving an inch. They stayed like that for a moment longer, before Alison reached down with her left hand and felt for the object that was causing them to act like inexperienced teenagers who had never touched another person's body before. Emily was so nervous that it had caused Alison's previous confidence to shatter, and she suddenly was wondering why on earth she had thought this was a good idea. She looked at Emily and pictured what she had thought of before. The ability to touch every part of Emily's body, while still causing her pleasure, and she felt that sexual urge grow again. She knew why she wanted this, and Alison hoped that Emily would enjoy it as much as she would.

Alison finally pulled her forehead back from Emily's and placed a firm, lingering kiss there before she moved away all together. She felt Emily's eyes on her as she untangled the straps that were attached to the phallus, her hands shaking the entire time and she mentally scolded herself for that. She needed enough confidence for the both of them, because god knows, Emily didn't have any in that moment. Or so Alison thought. It seemed that something took over Emily, because as Alison was trying to work out which strap went where, she felt the harness being tugged gently out of her hands. She looked to find Emily smiling softly, clearly amused at the fact that Alison was all jittery like a fourteen year old boy who was still figuring out how boobs worked.  
'You looked like you needed a hand' Emily mumbled, her eyes fixed on the harness as she untangled them with what looked like ease. It took her only a few seconds, and Alison stared dumbly as Emily held the harness out between both hands, now fully untangled and each loop formed for her to put her legs in.  
'Uhm…thanks' Alison muttered, though she made no movement. Emily chuckled and dropped to her knees, the harness still firm in her hands. She reached forwards and placed it by Alison's feet, signalling with her head for the other woman to step in to it. Alison did, and she watched as Emily pulled the leather straps along her legs, past her knees and up her thighs until they were sitting snuggly around her upper thighs and ass.

Emily fiddled with the buckles, tightening the straps so that it was secure, before sitting back on her knees to admire the new feature. Alison looked down at the protruding pink penis and shifted her hips a little, adjusting to the new weight. Emily seemed amused by this and her eyes followed the rubbery object as it bounced up and down a little at the movement. Alison spotted Emily's fingers twitch, before she balled her hand up into a fist.  
'You can touch it' she encouraged, her voice gentle in order not to spook her Fiancée. They were both being so cautious, which was so unlike them when it came to sex. When it came to being intimate, they knew each other's bodies better than they knew their own, and they never had to think about what to do. This was different. They suddenly had this addition that changed things entirely, and it was causing them to be more conscious of their actions. Emily nodded and flicked her eyes up to Alison's again before she looked back at the bubblegum pink dildo that was strapped between Alison's legs. She quirked an eyebrow at it, before gingerly reaching towards it. She allowed her fingers to ghost against the tip, then moved them along the full five inches of the shaft. It was modest in size. Not too thick or long, and now that she was looking at it up close, it didn't seem as intimidating as it had before.

Alison allowed Emily to touch it for a few moments, before she reached down and pulled the other woman to her feet. She smiled and brushed dark strands of hair behind Emily's ears before leaning in to softly kiss her.  
'Remember what I said. If you want to stop, we'll stop' Alison reminded Emily as she guided her to the bed. Emily nodded as the backs of her knees hit the mattress. Alison moved in closer, the tip of the toy brushing against Emily's thighs. Her fingers reached out and brushed against the laced corset that was still encasing Emily's body.  
'Do you want me to take it off?' Emily asked, suddenly realising that she was still clothed, while Alison was completely naked.  
'No' Alison practically yelped. She didn't ever want Emily to remove that particular item of clothing. 'Lay down' Alison instructed, as she ran her hand down the pane of Emily's stomach before she removed it. Emily's eyes flickered between Alison's before she did as she was told. Tonight, she wasn't going to be battling for dominance. Tonight she would let Alison take control.

Alison watched as Emily laid herself on the bed, her head resting in the pillows. She could feel the anxious energy and she swallowed her own down in order to take charge. She would show Emily that there was nothing to be worried about. She would make sure that Emily enjoyed herself. She chanted that mantra over in her head as she climbed onto the bed. She crawled across the mattress and hovered herself over Emily's body, before straddling her at the waist. Emily's hands instantly clasped at her hips as Alison dug her knees into the comforter beneath them and leaned over. Her hair hung like a golden curtain around them and their eyes locked on each other's.  
'I love you' Alison whispered with a smile, before she leaned forwards and captured Emily's lips in her own, her hand anchoring at Emily's jaw.  
'I love you too' Emily replied, as she concentrated on Alison's movements. The feel of gentle fingers on her jaw. Blonde curls tickling her shoulders as it fell around them. Lips exchanging kisses and silent declarations of love. Emily realised in that moment that though they may have an unfamiliar addition, everything else was still the same. They still kissed the same. They still touched the same. They still loved the same.

Emily's hands finally left their place by her sides, where she had previously had them anchored to the duvet, and came up to rest on Alison's back. Her fingers splayed out across the naked skin and Emily revelled in the softness and warmth that came with it. Alison deepened the kiss, her tongue exploring the very deepest parts of Emily's mouth. The moan that left Emily vibrated beneath her and Alison felt a sense of accomplishment. She could feel the other woman relaxing beneath her and it was giving her the boost she very much needed. Alison placed a few more pecks to Emily's lips before she trailed her own across Emily's jaw and down her neck. Emily craned her head to the side in order to expose more skin for Alison, which she made work of gratefully. Her lips danced across Emily's skin to the beat of her pulse. She could feel it thrumming away beneath her lips like a metronome that was pacing her motions to just the right speed. She knew if she stuck to the pace just right, she would be granted with the sweetest of music in Emily's moans. As she sucked at the hollow of Emily's throat, she was met with just that. The smallest, lightest moan that was the reward for following the tempo that was set by Emily's heartbeat.

Emily's grip tightened on Alison's back and her nails dug in at Alison's shoulder as lips travelled down her chest. Alison lightly tugged at the bust of the corset, releasing an already alert nipple from the constraints of the bustier. She glanced up at Emily's face as her lips swallowed the nub. The groan that left Emily's mouth was delicious and Alison wanted to hear more of it. She wanted her own personal music to play throughout their dance, and she would stop at nothing in order to get it. As her tongue flicked and licked at Emily's breast, her teeth nipped at the sensitive nipple and her lips soothed the sting. Her right hand came to release the other breast and she instantly pinched and rolled the nipple between her thumb and forefinger, causing Emily to gasp at the stimulation. Overwhelmed at the feeling of Alison's mouth and fingers working both breasts, Emily pulled her closer. Alison was still hovering over her, and Emily needed their bodies to be flush together. Alison complied with Emily's silent instruction, and allowed her body to fall into Emily's. The member that had been hanging between them pushed its way against Emily's covered sex, causing her breath to hitch at the sudden feeling. It was new, that was for granted, but it wasn't unwelcome. Emily instantly decided that she liked the subtle stimulation she got from the pressure of the toy against her mound, as one of Alison's hands worked her breast and the other remained anchored to her neck. She felt surrounded by Alison and she loved it.

'Ali' Emily moaned, causing Alison to stiffen on top of her. 'I need you' Emily added, not wanting Alison to stop. She never wanted her to stop. Alison smiled into Emily's breast before continuing her motions. Her hands travelled together down Emily's sides. Her palms applied pressure to the curves of Emily's waist as they made their way to her hips and she released the nipple from her lips with a pop, before she moved upwards and placed a light kiss to Emily's lips. She pulled back and looked down at Emily's impossibly brown eyes. Alison pushed one of her knees between Emily's thighs, signalling for her to open them wider. Emily complied and she watched as Alison settled herself between her legs. Alison smiled and placed a final kiss to Emily's lips before she sat back on her heels, their eyes never parting. Alison's fingers curled around the waist of Emily's panties and she lightly tugged on them. Emily pushed her heels into the bed and lifted her hips up, allowing Alison to pull the mesh panties over her ass and onto her thighs, before she lowered herself down again. Emily moved her legs and helped Alison to guide the panties down and off completely. Once they were tossed aside, Emily placed her feet back down onto the bed, her knees bent and her legs parted. Most would feel incredibly exposed in this position, but Emily didn't. She knew that Alison had a perfectly good view of her glistening sex, but she didn't feel embarrassed or ashamed. In fact she felt thrilled by the fact that Alison's eyes were taking in every inch of her.

Alison gulped at the sight, her hands gripping at Emily's knees as she remained transfixed on Emily's centre. She must have been in this position a thousand times, yet she always felt as though it were the first time. She could never pull her eyes away from the marvel that sat between Emily's legs. She found herself looking at it in awe, the way some would look at the Sistine Chapel or one of the Seven Wonders of the World. This was Alison's own wonder. Her own personal work of art, put on this Earth by god himself. It was an exhibition for her eyes only, and Alison couldn't get enough. Emily's hand rested on Alison's, pulling her from her trance and Alison didn't miss the smug look on her Fiancée's face. Alison shook her head lightly and dove up through Emily's legs to capture her lips again. Emily grunted at the lips that smashed into her own, but it was nothing compared to the sound that rumbled through her when the head of the phallus between Alison's legs pushed against the throbbing bundle of nerves between her own legs. Emily almost swallowed Alison's tongue as she moaned into her mouth. Emily's fingers anchored in blonde curls and she found herself rocking against the length of the toy. Her wetness coated the silicone, causing her grinding to become slicker and smoother. She loved that she was once against surrounded by the other woman. She could feel one of Alison's hands groping her ass while the other teased her breast, and everything just felt so incredibly amazing.

'Ali, please' Emily begged, needing more. Alison didn't waste any more time. Her hand moved around Emily's hip from her ass and found its way between her legs and the shaft of the toy. She gasped at the wetness she found there. It was unlike anything she had ever felt before, and Emily always got pretty wet anyway. Her fingers found Emily's clit and instantly began making soft circles around the nub, causing Emily to moan out loud at the welcome pressure. Her nails dug into Alison's scalp and her kisses grew feverish as she rocked into Alison's fingers. She could already feel herself building up and she knew she wouldn't last long if she continued like this.  
'Inside' Emily mumbled against Alison's mouth before continuing her kisses. Alison grunted in acknowledgment and moved her fingers to Emily's entrance. She coated her fingers in Emily's juices before pushing in two digits. She kept them still for a moment, allowing Emily's tight walls to get used to the intrusion. When she felt Emily begin to rock against her, she slowly began to move them in and out, feeling Emily grow looser with every stroke.  
'Fuck' Emily panted below her, as her hips rocked harder. Alison flicked her thumb over Emily's nipple before resting her forearm against Emily's head, her elbow digging into the comforter. She rose her upper body slightly in order to look down at the beauty beneath her, her fingers still pumping away between Emily's legs. One of Emily's hands fell to her side and her fingers gripped at the duvet, while the other came to grasp at Alison's back, her nails digging in harshly when Alison added a third digit.

'Oh god, Ali!' Emily moaned at the full feeling combined with her impending orgasm. She knew she wouldn't hold out for Alison to use the toy that was still resting uselessly between the, but that was exactly what Alison had planned. She knew that Emily would need to be loosened up for them to be able to fully make use out of the toy, and in order for that to happen, Emily needed to be in her most relaxed state.  
'Ali, I'm gunna-'  
'Let go, Em. It's ok' Alison encouraged as she watched from above. Her thumb pressed against Emily's clit as her fingers pushed deeper into her, causing Emily to cry out loud. Alison repeated this a few more times until she finally felt Emily's body tremble beneath her.  
'Fuck! Alison!' Emily moaned loudly. Her right hand tightened around the comforter that she was grasping, while the fingers on her left hand dug into Alison's flesh so hard, she was sure she broke the skin. Alison hissed at the sensation, but she didn't mind. Pain was pleasure when it came to sex, and she'd let Emily full on punch her if it meant she was feeling just as much pleasure as the pain she was inflicting upon Alison's body.

Alison slowed her fingers before pulling them out completely, her fingers lightly traced Emily's clit, drawing out the last of her orgasm. She felt Emily's body shudder beneath her, the race of Emily's heart thudding in her chest and Alison felt her own arousal grow significantly. She knew she was coating the straps between her legs in her own juices, but she desperately tried to ignore it as she worked out her next move. Again, this required way more thinking than she was used to. She made her movement before she could allow her anxiety to get a hold of her again, and with a soft rock of her hips, she slid the shaft along Emily's slit and through her juices. Emily let out a cry as the head of the toy jutted against her already sensitive clit. Alison was only spurred on by the sound, and so she repeated the motion, lubricating the toy completely with Emily's own bodily fluids. With her free hand, she felt around the bed, her fingers clasping around the cool bottle of purple gel. With her hips never faltering, Alison managed to squeeze some of the lube out onto her own fingers and quickly drop the bottle, before smearing the cool liquid both along the shaft of the dildo and against Emily's centre. Emily was already pretty wet herself, but Alison wanted all the lubricant she could get. There was no way she was taking any chances.

'Are you ready?' Alison asked hesitantly as she held the slick toy against Emily's entrance with her hand. It was now fully lubricated and Emily was panting again due to the build up of pressure that had formed in her lower stomach at the stimulation the dildo had given to her already overly sensitive clit. Emily swallowed hard and nodded.  
'Yeah' she breathed, her eyes locked on Alison's. Alison could see the nerves there, but she met them with her own warmth and security, and she could already see any hesitancy melting from Emily's body. Alison leaned down and kissed Emily tenderly as she guided the head to Emily's entrance. Alison pulled back as she began to slowly guide it inside. Emily instantly felt the pull and the toy was barely half an inch in, but it already felt like she had taken the full load of it.  
'You ok?' Alison asked, her eyes widening at the discomfort in Emily's face. She could see the clenching of Emily's jaw and she was already beginning to pull out. Emily exhaled heavily at the relief from the pressure, but after a second she pulled her hand at Alison's hips, signalling her to try again. Alison was dubious and she stalled for a millisecond before she pushed it back in again, this time a little further than before. Emily still grimaced though, and Alison didn't feel comfortable with it at all. She was about to pull out and tell Emily that they should forget about it, when she remembered the first time she had had sex with a guy, and what had helped with the pain.

Alison kept her hips as still as possible in order to not cause any more pain to Emily, as she reached over and took Emily's hand in her own. She guided it between them and rested Emily's fingers against her own clit.  
'Here, touch. It'll make it feel better' she insisted. Emily's eyes widened in surprise. She had never touched herself in front of Alison before, she had never needed to.  
'B-but…No, I-'  
'Trust me, Emily' Alison interrupted, her voice firm yet comforting. 'Touch, it'll ease the pain.' Emily took a deep breath and nodded, her fingers resting awkwardly against her clit. Alison bit down on her bottom lip and she let out a breath as she placed her own fingers over Emily's and guided them through the motions of pleasuring herself. It didn't take long for Emily to realise that Alison had been right. The pleasure from her clit far outweighed the pain from the toy that was slowly stretching her insides. The more pleasure she felt from her clit, the more her body relaxed and the easier the shaft of the toy slipped in. Alison inched the dildo into Emily at less than a snail's pace, but after a few minutes, she was surprised when she felt her hips hit Emily's.

'Damn, Em' Alison groaned, as she realised that Emily had taken the entirety of the toy, which was something she hadn't expected at all. Alison remained still and allowed Emily to adjust to the new feeling of being so incredibly full. She had never felt anything touch her so deep inside. Seriously, she felt as though the toy was now reaching up to her tonsils, but she found that it didn't hurt. She felt stretched and she felt a strange pressure, but the pain from before had subsided significantly. She shifted her hips experimentally and gasped as the phallus moved inside of her. Alison smiled at the pleasured sound, relieved that Emily was no longer in pain.  
'You want me to…' Alison trailed of as she pulled back the tiniest bit before pushing her hips back again, moving the toy inside of Emily. Emily let out an incredibly heavy breath at the feeling and nodded as she bit down on her bottom lip, humming in approval.  
'I'll go slow' Alison promised, as she planted a hand at Emily's hips and steadied herself, before she slowly and ever so gently began to move the dildo in and out of Emily's core. She started off with the smallest of motions, but Emily's gasps grew bigger and deeper as she felt the very tip of the toy hit her so very deep inside. It was like nothing she had ever experienced before.

'God, Ali its-' Emily was cut off by a deep, guttural moan as Alison made a large movement, removing half of the toy before pushing it back in slightly harder and faster than her previous motions. Emily's fingers dug into Alison's flesh, while Alison revelled in watching the pleasure on her Fiancée's face from above her. Emily's other hand continued to make small, tight circles against her clit, and with the added motion of Alison above her, which only grew larger and harder with each thrust, Emily quickly found herself building up again, only this was in a way she had never experienced before. While orgasms for the most part felt like fireworks, this felt like a full on volcanic eruption. She felt as though her whole body was on fire and she felt that pressure that built up within her, spread throughout her entire body. She felt as though she were both heavier and lighter than ever before, like her body wanted to weld itself to the bed, but also was threatening not to float away like a balloon.  
'Oh fuck' Emily choked, her jaw tightening as her walls clamped tightly around the shaft of the toy. Alison continued her thrusts, pushing through the tightness.

Her feet dug into the bed as her hips canted upwards, her back arching off of the bed. Her body trembled with the intensity of her orgasm, before it finally hit her. Her whole body stiffened, while Alison continued the ministrations over her clit and her continuous thrusts, as she helped Emily to ride through her pleasure. Finally, when Emily's body relaxed and her back hit the mattress again, Alison stopped her motions. She remained deathly still, the toy still buried in Emily.  
'Fuck, Ali' Emily breathed, a lazy smile spreading across her face. 'That was…oh my god. I've never felt anything like that in my life' she mumbled, a soft laugh falling from her lips. Alison smiled at the sound, her previous nerves long gone, as she saw the dopey, love drunk smile on Emily's face.  
'You liked it?' She asked, as she lowered her body down, her forearms framing Emily's head on the pillow. Emily shivered as the toy shifted inside of her.  
'Mhmm' Emily hummed, as she leaned up to kiss Alison. 'I uh…think I'd like to try it too' she stated shyly, causing Alison to raise a surprised eyebrow.  
'You do?'  
'Yeah. I want to make you feel like that' Emily explained, shrugging her shoulders.  
'Ok' Alison replied with a smile, before gently slipping the dildo out from Emily's core and unbuckling herself from it.

A few minutes later, having cleaned off the toy and re-lubricated it up, Emily was lying on her back with the toy sticking up I the air. She watched with wide, excited eyes as Alison slowly lowered herself down onto it, and Emily felt a thrill unlike never before. With the phallus reaching all kinds of deepness that it hadn't with Emily, thanks to the switch of positions, her orgasm built up quickly, and Emily felt her own arousal build back up at the sight of a red cheeked, sweaty browed Alison bounding up and down on top of her, her juices coating the full length of the obscenely pink dildo, all the while moaning Emily's name at the top of her lungs. She moaned so loud, in fact, that Hanna, who was upstairs in her own apartment trying to work, heard every second of their glorious sexual escapades. Usually, she would be groaning and reaching for the earplugs. Tonight, however, she couldn't help but feel a little pride in the matter. She smirked at the laptop that was resting on her thighs, her latest article half way through being complete. She searched through her recently uploaded pictures and smirked harder when she found the one she was looking for, before dragging it into the article.  
'So hot, even your neighbours will feel the heat' she typed beneath an image of Emily in black lingerie.


	24. A Break In The Clouds

The phone was glued to her ear, the dial tone taunting her as her stomach flipped while she waited for the line to click.  
'What do you want, Ali?' came a rather gruff and huffy greeting. If she hadn't been so anxious to be making this call, Alison would probably have snapped back some sarcastic response, but she was trying to make amends and she really didn't want to fight with her brother, so she bit her tongue and played nice.  
'Look, I know you're pissed at me and like- I uh, I guess I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for flipping out at you and Aria like that. It was totally uncalled for' she apologised semi-awkwardly, her finger lazily drawing circles on the counter that she was leaning in to. 'I don't have any right to get pissed about who you chose to be in a relationship with or sleep with, or…yeah' she trailed off, not even wanting to get that image in her head any more than it already was.

'Ali, I'm gonna be real here. I appreciate you calling and apologising and all, but it's really not me you need to be having this conversation with' Jason sighed. 'I know what you can be like, and I know that as vicious as your bark is, you rarely stay mad for long, so I forgive you. Aria on the other hand, might be another story. She was really upset yesterday after you left. It's her that you need to be grovelling to'  
Alison bit her inner cheek and closed her eyes, her stomach twisting at the thought of having to make this same call again with Aria. Alison DiLaurentis was not good at apologies. Still, she knew that she was in the wrong, and she knew that she needed to do the mature thing.  
'Ok, I'll call her' Alison said after a moment.  
'Ok, well, I'll talk to you later' Jason replied softly.  
'Bye, Jase'  
'Bye, Al'

Alison hung up the phone and held it in her hands for a few seconds, just staring at the screen. She thumbed through her contacts and landed on Aria's name. She paused, her thumb hovering over the name momentarily as she clenched her bottom lip between her teeth anxiously, before she finally took in a ragged breath and tapped the screen to start the call. Alison held the phone to her ear, each ring causing her more anxiety than the last. After only four rings, she was met with the familiar chirpy voice of Aria's voicemail, and Alison felt her stomach sink. Aria was most definitely avoiding her. Before she could get too down about it, she felt the familiar warmth of two arms circling around her waist and lips nuzzling into the back of her neck, instantly causing her to smile softly.  
'Good morning, sleepy head. You slept late today' Alison cooed as she turned in Emily's arms and pecked her on the lips, her smile growing at the sight of her sleepy Fiancée.  
'Hey, when you've got no work to go to, routine kind of goes out the window' Emily replied in her best joke-y voice, though they both knew that her unemployment was beginning to get to her. 'Besides, I'm exhausted' she added with a smirk, her memories, accompanied by the slight soreness between her legs, being a less than subtle reminder of the previous night's escapades.

Alison couldn't help but match Emily's smirk, her eyebrow quirking up as her own mind went to the same place.  
'You're exhausted? You completely wore me out last night, and unlike you, I actually have to things to do today' Alison chuckled playfully as her fingers played with the baby hairs at the nape of Emily's neck.  
'Oh, I wore you out? You're the one who pulled out the toys' Emily argued with a toothy smile, her thumbs brushing circles on the sliver of skin that was revealed just above the waist band of Alison's pants.  
'I'm sorry' Alison apologised unconvincingly, her eyes sparkling with mischief and left-over arousal from the night before.  
'Don't be. I liked it' Emily smirked, before she leaned in to kiss Alison.

When Emily pulled back, they untangled their bodies and Alison leaned against the counter while Emily made her way around the island and towards the cupboards.

'So, what are your plans today?' Alison asked, as she tapped her phone screen to see if, by some miracle, Aria had decided to call her back. She wouldn't admit it, but she was disappointed to see that there weren't any missed calls.  
'I'm going to drink a very strong, very large cup of coffee, and then I am going to pound the pavements and beg someone to hire me because right now, my bank account is crying. I tried to buy milk yesterday and was genuinely scared that my card would be declined' Emily stated, only half joking, as she grabbed the jug of the coffee maker and began to pour the caffeinated beverage into her mug.  
'I can always ask Elinor if you can pick up some shifts at the Diner?' Alison suggested, as she leaned into her elbows, her fingers laced loosely together.  
'No, that's your thing. I don't want to be treading on your toes' Emily replied, shaking her head as she turned to the opposite side of the island, facing Alison.

Emily cupped her hands around the hot cup of coffee and leaned down onto her elbows, mirroring Alison's posture.  
'You wouldn't. I mean, we're getting busier by the day and Elinor is always saying she needs to take more time off to rest' Alison replied surely. She knew that working in a diner wasn't Emily's passion, she loved being a physiotherapist and being able to help people, but a job was a job and Alison wanted to help her Fiancée.  
'Ok, but are you sure we can handle spending all that time together? I mean, we'd be living together and working together. Isn't it a bit much?' Emily asked dubiously. It wasn't that she didn't want to be spending all that time with Alison, she loved spending time with the other woman, but she was also very aware of the fact that there was such a thing as spending too much time together and that it could lead to disastrous consequences.  
'Em, you spend all your time there with me when I'm working anyway. You might as well get paid for it' Alison chuckled, causing Emily to nod her head to the side, because she did have a point. 'Besides, it doesn't have to be permanent. Just until you find something else' Alison added softly as she reached over and placed her hand on top of Emily's.

Emily let out a heavy sigh as she contemplated Alison's proposal. She didn't want anyone to be offering her anything out of charity, but she also knew that she needed to get another job. Bills didn't pay themselves, and there was no way Emily was going to rely on Alison to get them by.  
'Ok, as long as Elinor doesn't mind' She replied with a huff, her shoulders slumping a little. Any reluctance or self-pity she felt in that moment was quickly squashed by the smile that lit up Alison's face and the squeal that left her mouth. Alison rounded the island and practically crushed Emily in a tight hug, causing Emily to chuckle.  
'What are your plans for today?' Emily asked when Alison finally released her.  
'Well, other than work and talking to Elinor, I need to try get a hold of Aria. I need to apologise for yesterday' Alison replied, her cheerfulness dissipating at the reminder of how much she had royally fucked up with their friend. Emily shot her a sympathetic glance and reached up to hook a strand of hair behind Alison's ear.  
'Want me to help with that?' She asked, as she tried to catch Alison's eyes, which were practically glued to the counter top.  
'No, I think it really needs to come from me' Alison mumbled in a dejected tone, which made Emily's heart sink a little. She hated seeing Alison look so lost, even if it was sort of her own fault.

'Look, I'm meeting Spencer for lunch, so let me talk to her. Maybe she can put in a few words with Aria in your defence' Emily offered as a last ditch effort to attempt to help Alison fix things.  
'Thanks' Alison replied with a tight lipped smile. 'I better head off. I don't want to be late' she added as she reached for her bag that was hung over the back of the chair at the kitchen table.  
'Ok. I love you'  
'Love you too'  
With a quick peck on Emily's lips, Alison headed out the door. She was half way down the hall when she saw Hanna plodding along, her eyes lidded and puffy as though she hadn't quite woken up yet.  
'Hey, you're out early!' Alison greeted with a smile, as she quickly fell into step with the other woman.  
'Yeah, I have a meeting with my Boss. Honestly, if it's not about a promotion, I'm walking straight back out of there, because I'm sick of dressing snotty rich bitches' Hanna complained, causing Alison to grimace in sympathy.  
'Yeah I can't imagine that's any fun. My mother was one of those women' She replied with a shudder. She recalled shopping with her Mom when she was younger, and the older DiLaurentis was definitely not friendly to the personal shoppers at the high end retail stores they frequented.

'Do you ever think about getting back in touch with her?' Hanna asked curiously, because she honestly wasn't entirely sure why Alison didn't bother to get in touch with her Mom when everything went down with her asshole of a Father.  
'I don't know. I'm thinking about it. Emily thinks I should, but Jason thinks I'm better off without her. I'm just not really sure what I want to do' Alison replied with a shrug. She had been considering it for a while, she just needed the courage to actually reach out. She wasn't entirely sure how she would even talk to her Mom now. How do you tell someone that their daughter, who they buried eight years ago, was in fact alive and well and living in New York? Those words don't exactly come easily. Hanna nodded empathetically, though she still didn't fully understand.  
'How is Jason?' She asked, as they made their way down the final flight of stairs.

'He's good. Happy to have a permanent roof over his head, anyway'  
'It's great that you decided to get back in touch with him' Hanna stated with a smile as they reached the front door of the building.

They made their way through the door and out on to the busy streets of the East Village.  
'Yeah. Anyway, I better head' Alison stated, pausing on the stoop as she wrapped her coat around her tightly.  
'Ok, have a good day!' Hanna replied, stopping beside Alison at the steps to their apartment building.  
'You too. I uh, think I'll be back late so if you want to surprise Em with dinner, then I'm sure she'd appreciate the distraction. Unemployment is not her friend' Alison joked, rolling her eyes for effect, though Hanna saw right through the façade.  
'You mean she's still alive?' Hanna asked innocently, causing Alison to stop and look at her in confusion. 'There was so much screaming coming from your place last night, I was seriously thinking of calling the FBI. Or Toby' Hanna remarked with a serious expression, though the corners of her mouth curved into the tiniest of smirks. Alison froze at the other woman's words, her eyes going wide and her cheeks flushing red.  
'Oh god, Ali! Don't stop!' Hanna moaned loudly, throwing her head back for effect as she mimicked the noises she had heard coming from the downstairs apartment, causing a few heads of passers-by to turn and look at her.

'I'm going to work now' Alison said abruptly, before walking down the few steps of the entrance to their building.  
'Have a good day, baby' Hanna called after the other blonde, blowing her a large, over enthusiastic kiss.

'You're an ass' Alison shouted over her shoulder as she began to make her way down the street, chuckling softly at Hanna's antics.  
'And apparently, you _love_ when Emily sticks it in yours' Hanna yelled after her, laughing wickedly as she hopped down the steps. Alison's eyes, once again, widened at Hanna's outburst and her cheeks flamed up again in embarrassment. She and Emily really needed to sound proof their apartment. That or they needed to move to another state.

Emily rushed into the little French Bistro style coffee shop, her cheeks flushed due to her run from the subway and the dodging of pedestrians on the sidewalk.  
'I'm here, I'm sorry!' she gasped, as she rounded the table that Spencer sat at with a mug of steaming coffee in one hand, while the other tapped on the mousepad of her laptop and flicked through different case notes.  
'It's ok, chill' Spencer replied with a slightly amused smirk, her eyes peering up over her laptop screen. 'I took a working lunch, so we have plenty of time' she added, as she clicked a few more times before pushing the computer aside.  
'Yeah, and it's not like I have anywhere else to be anyway' Emily replied bitterly as she settled herself in to the chair opposite Spencer.  
'Still no luck on the job?'  
'I'm having about as much luck as a pimp in a convent' Emily deadpanned.  
'That good, huh?' Spencer asked with a raised eyebrow, as she settled down her coffee mug.

Emily reached across the table and took Spencer's coffee in her own hands. She took a sip and let out a sigh.  
'Honestly, it's getting me really down at this point' Emily confessed. 'I mean, I've never been out of work for this long and I feel like I've just watched my whole career be ripped from in front of me, before it's even taken off' she added as she drained the rest of Spencer's coffee.  
'You know we're in a coffee house, right? You can literally order your own drink, you didn't have to steal mine…' Spencer stated unhappily as she looking at her now empty mug that Emily still cradled between her hands. Emily simply shrugged at the comment and looked down at the coffee infused foam that marked the rim of the cup.  
'Are things really that bad, Em?' Spencer asked with a concerned tone. Emily didn't reply, her eyes still trained on the empty coffee cup. 'Well, what does Ali think?' She pushed, causing Emily to let out a heavy, exhausted breath.  
'I haven't really spoken to Ali about it' Emily confessed. 'I mean, I have, but, I mostly just laugh it off with her. I don't want her to worry about me, she already has so much on her mind' she finished sadly. Her teeth worried at her bottom lip as that ever present heaviness in her gut made its way to the surface, after weeks of her pushing it back down.

Spencer's worry only increased at this knowledge. If Emily wasn't talking to Alison about how much she was struggling with her unemployment, then that was definitely a reason to be concerned.  
'Don't you think she'd want to know, though?'  
'Probably, but she's already dealing with so much, Spencer. The whole thing with her Dad is barely over and Jason just came back in to her life, and now there's this whole thing with Aria on top. I just don't want her to have to deal with my crap on top of all that' Emily rambled, her words flooding out as she began to relieve herself of the pressure she had been feeling for the past few weeks.  
'Why, what's going on with Aria?' Spencer asked curiously.  
'Right, I forgot you don't know about that…' Emily trailed off awkwardly, her eyes flitting back down to the table top in an effort to avoid Spencer's inquisitive stare.  
'Emily…' Spencer demanded with a pointed look, causing the other woman to sigh again. At this point, she had so much air leaving her though huffs and puffs, she felt like a bagpipe.  
'Alison caught Jason and Aria...you know' Emily trailed off, signalling with her hands to indicate the words she couldn't bring herself to verbalise.  
'…What?' Spencer asked cluelessly, her head tilted to the side in a silent request for Emily to elaborate.

'Giving piggy backs. Sticking the wand in the Chamber of Secrets. Dipping the wick. Shrimping the Barbie. Stuffing the Turkey. Spray painting the cer-'  
Ok! Ok, I get it!' Spencer interrupted with wide eyes. 'Stop with the euphemisms, please. I think I'm going to end up with nightmares, and I don't even _want_ to know where that last one was going' she added, shaking her head a little as if she were attempting to clear the images from her mind.  
'Sorry, I got a little carried away, and I spent the whole day with Hanna yesterday' Emily explained apologetically.  
'So, Jason and Aria were….taking an adult nap. I get it. And I'm assuming Ali wasn't too happy to find this out?' Spencer asked, still trying to clear her mind of the mental images that Emily had created.  
'She kicked off like a cat in a bathtub' Emily clarified. Spencer grimaced at the image of a pissed off Alison. 'She calmed down later, and she tried to apologise to Aria, but she can't even get through to her on the phone. Ali feels really bad about the whole thing' Emily explained. Spencer sat quietly for a moment, before she pushed her chair out from beneath the table.  
'Yeah, I'm going to need some more coffee for this' She stated, grabbing her purse as she stood and headed to the counter.

Emily checked her phone while Spencer ordered the drinks. She smiled when she saw a message from Alison.  
 _Missing you already. Love you._  
It wasfollowed by a heart emoji, a kissing face and for some odd reason, a sushi roll. Emily didn't even want to know what that meant. She typed a quick reply.  
 _Same. I already can't wait to get home to you._ She followed it with her own love heart emoji, a winking emoji and a bicycle emoji.

Over in Brooklyn, Alison was leaning on the counter of an empty diner. She smirked at her phone, Emily's response igniting their previous night's passion within her. Over the years, she hadn't really been all that bothered about sex. Sure, she had a thing with Riley and the sex had been good, but sex with Emily was on another planet. In another galaxy even. It was as though Emily had awoken a part of her body that had been sleeping for years. Sure, at first there was far too much stress and pressure in their lives for them to really even enjoy their sexual reconnection, but lately Alison was becoming much more attached to her sexuality. She felt as though her hormones were on steroids, and she couldn't get enough of Emily. She wanted to spend days, weeks even, just wrapped up in everything that was her fiancée. She wanted to inhale her scent and take in every inch of her perfect body. Taste each and every part of her. She wanted to run laps on Emily's body with her tongue and explore the depths of her body with her fingers.

'Alison!'  
She jumped a foot in the air at the unexpected voice, her head whipping around to look at the person who had broken her out of her thoughts. Her cheeks flushed red and her chest heavy, and that dull ache between her legs was now all that she could think about.  
'Jaysus girl, you must've been away with the fairies. I've been calling you from the back for about five minutes' Elinor exclaimed from the kitchen door.  
'Sorry Elinor, what did you need?' Alison asked, shaking herself back into reality.  
'I was calling to tell you that I'm going to be leaving early, since there's not much going on here. James is coming home for dinner and he's bringing a lady friend' Elinor stated with a gleeful smile. Alison let out a breathy laugh at the pleased look on the older woman's face, knowing that Elinor was no doubt bouncing inside. She had been wanting James to find a girl for a long time, though none ever stuck. For a while, Elinor had tried setting Alison up with James. She had been convinced they would make a 'lovely couple'. That was until Riley came along and Alison made it clear that she was capital G Gay. Then Elinor went on to trying to set James up with her church friend's daughters and nieces.

'Wow, he finally settled down, huh? Good for him' Alison replied with a genuine smile. 'Be sure to find out all the gory details for me' she added playfully.  
'Oh, I'm sure she's lovely' Elinor replied, as she swatted Alison's arm.  
'She'd better be. I mean, you barred Riley from your house and told her you'd be praying for her, and I'm not even your daughter. God help any woman that James brings home, that is anything less than satisfactory' Alison chuckled in amusement.  
'Riley had the devil in her. She needed someone to pray for her' Elinor replied stiffly. She never liked Riley. She had often said that the girl had the devil within her, and Alison couldn't help but wonder what Elinor had seen from the start, that she herself couldn't. 'Not like Emily though. Emily, she has a good soul' Elinor stated with a smile, causing Alison's to grow wider. While Elinor had been apprehensive about Emily at the start, she had grown on her. She could see that the young brunette was good for Alison, and as far as she was concerned, anyone who made Alison smile the way she did, was good enough in her eyes.

'Speaking of Emily, I have a favour to ask' Alison started, preparing herself to beg and grovel for Elinor to give Emily a job. 'Obviously you know that Emily's out of work right now, and it's really getting her down. I was wondering if she could pick up a few extra shifts here. Just until she gets on her feet again' Alison rambled, causing Elinor to chuckle again.  
'You're really asking me if Emily can have a job here?' she asked, her tone laced with mirth.  
'Yeah…'  
'Well jaysus, I thought she already worked here. The girl puts in more hours than I do lately. She may as well get paid for them' Elinor replied with a smile. Alison squealed and hugged Elinor tightly, causing the older woman to laugh heartily. When Alison finally let her go, she pulled away.  
'It's not forever, but I'm happy to pay her until she gets back on her feet, or until I sell up. Whichever comes first' Elinor stated casually.

Alison's brow furrowed deeply at Elinor's words  
'Sell up? What are you talking about?' she asked, her eyes flitting in panic. Elinor loved this diner, she had spent years building it up. The fact that she would just sell it caused fear to flood through Alison. 'Why are you selling? Are you ok?' Alison asked, her panic lacing though her voice.  
'I'm perfectly fine, dear. But I'm not getting any younger and honestly, I just can't keep up with the place anymore' Elinor confessed sadly. 'I can't keep going the way I'm going, and James doesn't want to take over the place, so I've no choice but to sell'  
'I'll take over' Alison blurted. The words left her mouth before she could even think it through.  
'Alison, I know you love it here and I know you love me, but you don't have to tie yourself to this place. You can go on to do so many things' Elinor replied, shaking her head. She took Alison's hands into her own and squeezed them tight, a small sign of her appreciation.

Alison pulled her hands away and stood up straighter.  
'I'm being serious. I want to buy the diner from you' Alison said strongly, her expression deadly serious. 'I don't know where I'll get the money from just yet, but I will. I'll get a loan or something. Just, hold on for a little while. Let me figure a few things out' Alison practically begged. This diner had become her home when she didn't have one. It gave her purpose. It saved her live. There was no way she was going to let something that meant so much to her, and to Elinor, be left in the hands of a perfect stranger.  
'I'm not in a hurry. I want to make sure this place ends up in good hands. You have some time to think about it' Elinor replied. It wasn't that she didn't want Alison to have the diner. She did, more than anything. She just didn't want Alison to feel obliged to take it on. She wanted Alison, and Emily by extension, to have everything the world could offer, and more.  
'There's nothing to think about' Alison replied certainly.

'There really isn't anything to think about. She made her feelings perfectly clear' Aria argued softly into her phone.  
'She really is sorry, Aria. Just hear out' Jason replied on the other end of the line, causing Aria to huff into the handset.  
'I need to think about it' Aria compromised, purely because she didn't want to argue with the man she had only recently rekindled her relationship with. She had no intention of making things easy for Alison, not after the blow out the night before.  
'Please do. I don't want to be stuck between you and my sister' Jason sighed, and Aria could feel the tension seeping from him through the phone.  
'I know. I'm sorry'  
'Me too'  
The front door of Aria's apartment closed, causing her to look up from her spot on the couch.

'I've gotta go' she mumbled apologetically into the phone.  
'Spencer home?' Jason guessed with a smirk. He knew that Aria hadn't told any of the girls about their relationship, though he was surprised that Alison hadn't spilled the news already.  
'Yeah'  
'Well I guess you better go then. God forbid you get caught talking to boys' Jason mocked, gasping in faux shock, which caused Aria to giggle.  
'She's not my Mom' Aria replied as she eyed the door to check for Spencer.  
'Could have fooled me' Jason laughed.  
'Goodbye'  
'Bye Aria'  
Aria hung the phone up just as Spencer entered the living room.

'Who was that?' Spencer asked, nodding to Aria's phone as she slumped down into the couch and kicked her shoes off.  
'Nobody important' Aria lied. She lied so badly that Spencer had to physically stop herself from rolling her eyes.  
'You sure about that?' she challenged, her eyes narrowing, daring Aria to lie to her.  
'Yeah, I'm sure' Aria replied uneasily.  
'Ok' Spencer replied in the most convinced voice she could manage. She kicked her feet up beneath her and grabbed for the tv remote, quickly flicking on the tv.  
'So, have you heard from Ezra lately?' she asked casually as she flicked through the channels.  
'No, I told you I stopped talking to him' Aria replied certainly. It was the truth, she hadn't seen or heard from Ezra. Not since the night she had put him straight and told him that she didn't love him anymore.  
'What about Jason DiLaurentis?' Spencer asked, her eyes still glued to the tv screen.

'Ali told you' Aria huffed, her suspicions confirmed.  
'No, Emily did' Spencer replied, finally putting the remote control down on the couch cushion beside her and turning to face Aria.  
'God, can nobody keep their mouths shut? Why is Emily running around telling you about my relationship?' Aria ranted, her cheeks reddening again, this time in frustration.  
'The question is, why didn't _you_ tell me?' Spencer asked seriously. 'I'm your best friend. Do you not think I deserved to hear about your relationship from you?' she added, her tone tinged with hurt that Aria had kept this from her. Aria looked away guiltily. She didn't have a justifiable answer, other than the fact that she thought she had time. She didn't think they would be found out so soon.  
'I didn't want you to judge me' she mumbled in response. It was the only one that didn't require a full on debate or intrusive follow up questions.

'I wouldn't-' Spencer began to defend herself, only to be cut off by a single raised eyebrow from Aria. Spencer nodded once and bobbed her head to the side. 'Ok, maybe I would have judged a little. But I'd have got over it if I thought you really did love him' She stated sincerely. 'You do love him, right?'  
'I don't know how I feel. All I know is that it feels right. _He_ feels right' Aria replied with a dreamy expression.  
'Ew' Spencer grimaced, her face curling up in disgust as her mind filled with the images that Emily had so creatively painted in her mind. Aria looked at her strangely, causing her to shake her head. 'Sorry' Spencer replied, quickly wiping the look off her own face, and replacing it with something much more neutral. 'I'm glad he makes you happy'  
'He does' Aria confirmed.

Spencer nodded silently, biting her tongue desperately. She wanted to be supportive and she didn't want to judge, but she also had so many thoughts that were bursting to come out of her. She wanted to tell Aria to be careful, to tell her to keep her heart close to her chest and not let him anywhere near it. She wanted to know what it was that was causing that love drunk smile to plant on Aria's face. Most of all she just wanted to know  
'Why Jason DiLaurentis? I mean, what could you possibly see in Jason DiLaurentis?' Spencer blurted. Aria sighed sadly. She knew this was coming. She knew that however much Spencer would want to be happy for her, she just wouldn't be able to hold back.  
'He's not the guy you think he is, Spence' Aria simply replied. Spencer thought about this for a moment, mulling the thought around in her mind and she realised that she really didn't love anything about Jason. That wasn't to say she liked him, but she didn't really have an argument.  
'I love you but you really do have horrific taste in men' she settled on, before grabbing the remote control and turning back to the tv. She desperately needed to switch off and binge watch some reality tv not that she'd ever admit her guilty pleasure to anyone but Aria, especially Hanna.

The blonde in question was, at that moment in time, barging her way in to Emily and Alison's apartment with no invitation needed.  
'I come baring pizza' she announced as she walked through the front door, a huge grin plastered on her face.  
'Hanna, you can talk dirty to me all you want, I'm not leaving Ali for you' Emily replied with a smirk as she turned from the pasta she was currently butchering on the stove. Hanna made her way to the island and placed the pizza box on the counter, before making her way over to Emily, who was using a spoon to poke at the pasta, which was now suck to the bottom of the pot.  
'I don't need you to leave Ali, but I do need you to eat proper food' Hanna said as she looked over Emily's shoulder at the mess of a 'dinner' she had made for herself. 'What is that shit?' she asked, her nose scrunched up in disgust.  
'Mac and cheese' Emily sighed dejectedly. She really needed to work on her culinary skills. Alison could make gourmet style meals out of practically nothing, while she struggled to make food that even a student would deem edible.  
'It looks gross' Hanna commented dryly.  
'Yeah' Emily agreed half-heartedly. She turned the heat off and moved the pot from the burner, before turning and grabbing a slice of pizza from the box.  
'Good thing you bought pizza' Emily mumbled before taking a bite out of her slice.

The two sat at the counter, laughing and talking while they ate. Emily loved that it felt like old times, from before everything in her life got so messed up. Despite her current unemployment, which was admittedly getting her down, she couldn't remember a time when she had felt so light.  
'Ok, so I have a confession and after talking to Ali this morning, I was a little worried about telling you, because I don't want to be the one to cause anymore shit for you, but I feel guilty that you don't know and I just think you should know' Hanna rambled, her words leaving her mouth so fast that Emily was having difficulty keeping up.  
'Woah, calm down. What's wrong?' Emily asked, her body tensing slightly as she prepared herself for what was to come out of Hanna's mouth.  
'I posted a picture of you on my blog in that lingerie I gave you' Hanna admitted sheepishly. Emily's jaw dropped and her eyes widened.  
'You- what? Hanna!' Emily stuttered in shock.

'I know, I know! You told me not to post it, but you looked so damn hot Em, and my hit count is taking a serious drop lately. I needed something to give it a little boost again, you know? And it worked! I'm almost double last week's numbers! It's true what they say, sex really does sell and you're basically sex on legs' Hanna ranted again, and though she should be pissed, Emily just couldn't bring herself to get mad at her friend, though he did wonder whether Alison would have the same restraint. She doubted it.  
'It's fine, just...let me be the one to tell Ali' Emily finally replied. She almost laughed when Hanna visibly relaxed. 'Besides, it's not like that is the most distressing thing I've had to deal with lately between losing my job and the whole DiLaurentis family drama. This is actually a nice problem to have. It's easy, you know' Emily stated, shrugging her shoulders a little.  
'What DiLaurentis family drama?' Hanna asked after a beat. Emily's eyes widened again in realisation that Hanna had been the only person that didn't know the full situation with Ali and her Dad, and she was probably the one person who wouldn't drop the subject until she knew everything.


	25. Set It Off

'Ok, so I have something I need to tell you and I'm a little worried about how you're going to react' Emily blurted anxiously. Her eyes flitted to Alison, who was stood across the room sorting laundry, while Emily was sat on the bed pretending to help.  
'What's up?' Alison asked, her hands freezing in the laundry hamper and her eyes darting to Emily's.  
'I kind of…maybe told Hanna about what happened with your Dad' Emily grimaced. 'It was a total slip up, and once I started talking, she obviously had questions.' Her response caused Alison to visibly relax, and her attention went back to the laundry in front of her.  
'God, don't scare me like that again' Alison chuckled as she tossed a pair of Emily's jeans into the wash pile.  
'You're not mad?' Emily asked uneasily, because she was sure that Alison would flip out at this.  
'No, I'm not mad' Alison smirked up at her Fiancee. 'We couldn't exactly keep it from her for much longer, I mean the girl practically lives here' she stated, holding up a pair of Hanna's panties and a t-shirt as though they were evidence, before tossing them into the pile. 'Besides, I trust her. She won't tell anyone'  
'She won't' Emily replied surely, she'd make sure of it.

Alison continued to pile up laundry in the wash basket. Silence passed between them, before either of them spoke up again.  
'So, did you get in touch with Aria yet?' Emily asked softly.  
'No. In all honesty, I've been putting it off. I'm going to head over there this evening though' Alison replied as she stood and picked up the wash basket. Emily rose to join her and took the basket from her hands.  
'Ok, well, do you want me to come with you?' she asked, as they both made their way out of the apartment and down the stairs.  
'Would you?' Alison asked, her eyes lighting up at the offer. She had been dreading seeing Aria, but with Emily beside her, she knew she could get through anything.  
'Of course. You know I'll always have your back, Ali' Emily replied genuinely, as they fell in step and walked down the stairs side by side.

They made their way to the laundry room in the basement of the building, and Emily dumped the basket on top of one of the washers, while Alison grabbed the detergent.  
'I need to talk to Jason, too' Alison stated casually, though Emily could tell by her tone that it was anything but casual. Alison had a nervousness to her tone that told Emily she had been waiting to tell her something.  
'Oh yeah?' she replied nonchalantly, as she began stuffing clothing into the machine.  
'Yeah. I've made a decision about my Mom. I think it's time I got in touch with her' Alison said unsurely. She scooped at the powder several times, just as something to distract her, before she finally poured it into the drawer of the washer.  
'Ok well, are you sure that's what you want?' Emily asked as she squatted to close the door of the machine and began to program the wash settings.  
'Yeah, I mean, she's my Mom. She deserves to know that I'm still alive, and I mean, now that I know there's no danger from my Dad I don't see a reason to put it off anymore' Alison explained softly. She sounded vulnerable and Emily didn't like it. Emily rose to her feet and pulled Alison into a tight hug.  
'Ok, well whatever you want to do, I'll support you. You know that' Alison did know that, but the words, paired with a firm kiss to the top of the head, definitely helped.

Aria entered Jason's apartment and threw herself down onto the couch with a huff. It had been a long day already, and Jason knew that he was about to make his already tense girlfriend, even more so.  
'How was your day?' he asked, as he sat beside her. He put his arm around her tiny frame and Aria instantly snuggled into him.  
'Long. I am more than ready to have a quiet night in with you and just relax' she sighed.  
'Uh, well, I meant to say…Ali and Emily are coming for dinner tonight' Jason said apologetically. He scratched his head anxiously as Aria sat up to look at him, her eyes steely.  
'What?'  
'Yeah, I was going to call you, but honestly I was afraid you just wouldn't come over' He explained, shrugging his shoulders sheepishly.  
'You'd be right about that' Aria mumbled.

'Look, I know that you're still pissed at Ali, but she wants to apologise' Jason continued, wanting to appease his girlfriend and defend his sister all at once. 'She was just taken aback, and we both know that when Alison is caught off guard, she hits out'  
'I know, I just... it gave me far too many flashbacks of what she could be like in High School. She wasn't always the nicest of people to me' Aria gritted her teeth as she remembered the person that Alison could be during their teen years. She knew that it wasn't the same person and she knew that Alison had grown up now, but the way the other woman had kicked off was so reminiscent of those years at school, that Aria was having difficulty to forget.  
'I know, she could be a bitch' Jason agreed, bobbing his head to the side. 'But I know that she loves you, and she really values your friendship. Please, just give her a chance to prove it' He begged. All Jason wanted was for his girlfriend and his sister to get along. They were the two most important people in his life, and he had already lost them both once. He didn't want to do that again.  
'Ok' Aria breathed, as she fell back into his arms.

As they entered the front door of the apartment building, Emily felt chills run up her spine. Her mind instantly filled with memories from the last time she was here, and the whole place gave her the creeps and put her seriously on edge. Alison could tell where Emily's mind went, mostly because her own always went to that place too whenever she came here. The second she walked through the front door, she would be greeted with the memories of Emily's broken and bloodied body curled into her own, while a seriously messed up Riley was lying just feet away. It was a memory that she knew she would never be able to wipe from her mind.  
'Breathe' She whispered, as she reached out and grabbed Emily's hand, squeezing it slightly to show that she was there. They were together, and everything was ok.  
'Sorry' Emily mumbled in embarrassment, a heat creeping up her neck and to her cheeks.  
'Don't be' Alison smiled lovingly. Emily could feel Alison's love and care blanket her anxiety, washing away the bad memories and filling the space with warm fuzzy feelings.

They entered the apartment and Emily forced herself to push away the remaining anxiety for Alison's sake. She knew that her Fiancée was nervous about this dinner, the last thing she needed was to have to deal with Emily spiraling out of control.  
'Hey, how you doing Em?' she was pulled out of her thoughts by the voice. She looked up to see Alison and Jason both looking at her.  
'Uh, hey Jason. I'm good, how are you?' she replied, plastering a smile on her face and forcing herself to focus.  
'I'm good!' He replied with a genuine smile. 'Can I get you a drink? Beer maybe?' he offered. Emily didn't bat an eyelid at the offer of alcohol, she was used to it, but Alison practically coiled back onto her haunches and was ready to attack.  
'Beer? Really?' She spat. She was ready to take Jason down with a barrage of insults and abuse, but Emily's hand was on her forearm in a second, instantly quelling her fire.

'Water's fine' Emily said politely, a genuine smile on her face. She was used to being in situations like this. It wasn't a big deal, and Emily needed Alison to know that she wasn't going to fall off the wagon, just because someone mentioned alcohol in her presence.  
'Shit, I'm sorry' Jason apologised. He knew that he should have known better, especially since he himself had had struggles with alcohol. His issues weren't to the extent that Emily's had been, but they were bad enough that he avoided drinking.  
'It's ok, it was an honest mistake' Emily replied as she squeezed Alison's bicep in order to calm her. Emily didn't need to look at her Fiancée to know she was shooting daggers at her brother. Alison finally looked up at Emily, questioning with her eyes if it was really ok. Emily's smile and the amused glint in her eyes told her that it was more than ok, and Alison allowed herself to relax.

Jason looked between Emily and Alison, before landing on Emily.  
'Want to, uh…bond over how evil alcohol is, while we watch some hoops?' Jason offered. 'The Knicks are playing the Nets, should be a good game'  
Well, that depends…are you a Knicks or a Nets fan?' Emily asked, her eyes squinting and her head tilted as she looked at Jason.  
'Actually neither, I'm a Lakers fan' Jason admitted with a chuckle.  
'Then I definitely need to watch with you, because we need to change that. It's Knicks or nothing' Emily replied. She released her hold on Alison and swatted at Jason's arm playfully, as she made her way to the couch. Alison smirked and rolled her eyes, happy that Emily and Jason were getting along so well. When they were kids, Emily and Jason never really hung out, so Alison wasn't entirely sure how well they would get along, but with their alcohol issues and love of any ball games in common, it was a no brainer that they would have something to bond over.

Alison stood and watched Emily and Jason chat and laugh on the couch for a few minutes, before she finally turned towards the kitchen area, where Aria had silently been cooking. Alison braced herself, taking a deep breath, before approaching the petite woman.  
'Hey, dinner smells amazing' Alison tried, as she leaned against the counter. She looked at Aria and waited for a moment, hoping for a response. Aria gave her a tiny, tight lipped smile, but didn't speak. It caused Alison's nerves to sky rocket, and suddenly she didn't know what to do with her hands anymore. What did people do with their hands when they were being casual anyway!?  
'Uhm, can I help with anything?' she offered, trying again to get _something_ from Aria.  
'No, it's fine' Aria finally replied, though her tone was short and her words clipped, indicating anything but friendliness. Alison let out a heavy breath and looked down at the floor, her hands still struggling for what to do, and she noticed that her knee was now bouncing uncontrollably.

'Listen, Aria-' Alison started, ready to apologise, beg, do whatever she needed to gain Aria's forgiveness.  
'You don't need to apologise Alison' Aria cut her off, before she could even begin. 'I mean, you do, but I already know that you're sorry' she continued, as she tossed some chicken around in a wok, before settling it on a low burner and turning to Alison. 'I get it. If one of my friends were going out with Mike, I'd be pissed. I mean, when I found out about him and Mona, I was less than pleased about it, and I'm not even that close with her-'

This time, it was Alison's turn to interrupt, though it was with a much more amused look than either of them had sported so far.  
'That loser Mona Vanderwaal is going out with baby Mike? No wonder you were pissed.' She stated, her bitchy, high school self-rearing its head just slightly at the mention of the one person on the planet she truly never could stand. Aria smirked at this expected reaction, before she finally giggled. Alison really had changed in many, many ways, but some things were just destined to be set in stone, and the hatred between Alison and Mona was inevitable, and definitely wasn't single sided. Mona never really said anything about Alison, mostly out of respect for the supposed dead, but the animosity was still very much there for the girl who made High School a living hell for her.

'She's not a loser, and Mike's not a baby anymore' Aria giggled. 'They actually make a cute couple. Hopefully one day you'll be as accepting of Jason and me' Aria finished, a hopeful look in her eyes that Alison knew she could never shatter.  
'I'll try' she offered. It was the best compromise she could give, because she didn't want to lie to Aria and say she would be fine with it when she wasn't sure she could be. She wouldn't be the girl who made empty promises anymore.  
'That's all I ask' Aria replied earnestly, because it was more than she thought she would get. Alison was never usually one to give in so quickly. Aria turned back to the wok on the burner and tossed the chicken.  
'Can you set the table? The food is almost ready' Aria asked with a smile. It was her silent gesture to Alison that everything was right again.  
'Sure' Alison responded, smiling gratefully.

The group of four sat around the table. Emily and Alison were sat one side, while Jason and Aria were the other.  
'Can you see the score from there?' Jason asked Emily. She leaned around Alison and craned her neck to look at the TV screen.  
'Uuuuhm' she dragged out, 'It's 51-43 to the Knicks' she recited, before turning back to the table. Alison couldn't help but smile at her, loving the way Emily and Jason were bonding so well over a stupid ball game she could never understand.  
'So, Em, I saw Hanna's blog. The picture she put up of you is beautiful' Aria said with a smile. Emily almost choked on her chicken and her eyes widened dramatically.  
'What picture?' Alison asked in confusion, because Emily hadn't mentioned anything.  
'Uh, she just put up a few pictures of my modelling her clothes. No big deal' Emily lied, before shoving a forkful of rice into her mouth. Alison narrowed her eyes at Emily. She knew the other woman was lying, but she wasn't going to question her on it yet. She'd find out the truth eventually anyway.

They ate in relative peace for a while, the only words being spoken were from Emily to compliment Aria's cooking, Alison to ask for the recipe and Jason to ask Emily on updates on the game. It was at the end of the second quarter, the Nets were ahead by 2, when Alison started up the conversation she had been prepping herself for all night.  
'So, Jase, I was thinking…maybe it might be time for me to get in touch with Mom' she stated in as casual of a voice as possible, while her eyes were fixed on the honey glazed chicken on her plate. Jason chewed slowly. His tongue dug out a piece of rice from his teeth.  
'You think that's a good idea?' He finally asked.  
'Honestly, I don't know' Alison replied. 'But, I feel like she should know that I'm alive and…I don't know, maybe we can make some sort of a relationship?' she thought aloud.  
'She left you Ali. She left both of us. If you're looking for a chance to play happy families with her, you're going to be disappointed' Jason stated caustically, his fork stabbing violently into a piece of chicken.  
'Maybe, but it's my mistake to make' Alison replied, her defences heightening. 'I'm not asking for your permission, Jason. I'm telling you that this is what I want to do' she added, her voice unwavering and laced with a warning tone.

Aria and Emily sat silently while the siblings stared down, before Emily broke the tension.  
'My Mom has a number for your Mom, but she says it's not in service' she stated, realising quickly that this information was not helpful in the slightest. 'Maybe, between the four of us, we can think of another way to track her. We could ask Toby?'  
'I think I know exactly who to ask, actually' Aria perked up. 'I know a P.I. She's a good friend and she's great at her job.'  
'That sounds great! Do you think she'd help?' Alison asked eagerly. Her eyes lit up at the prospect of getting in touch with her Mom, while Jason sat silently and moved his food around the plate. He kept his opinions to himself and listened to the commentary of the game. They weren't even half way through the 3rd quarter, and the Knicks were fighting back with a 6 point lead.  
'I can ask' Aria answered diplomatically. She wasn't entirely sure she could swing it, but she would try her best.

The rest of the dinner went relatively well. Jason relaxed and apologised for causing a fuss. Aria and Alison were safely over their argument, and the Knicks scraped by with a victory of 106 – 104. By the time Alison and Emily left, their bellies were full and they were content. They were almost at the subway station, when Alison stopped suddenly, causing Emily to halt and look at her with a questioning expression.  
'I think we should get married' Alison announced.  
'I already asked you to marry me, Ali' Emily chuckled nervously. She wasn't entirely sure where Alison was going with this, since they were already engaged.  
'I know, but I mean…I think we should do it soon' Alison explained. She turned and took Emily's hands in her own. 'Em, I don't want to wait. Sitting there tonight with you, and Jason and Aria, it felt right. I mean, yeah we bickered and there were arguments, but it felt like I have a family. I want to make that official as soon as I can. I don't want to waste another second. I want to be Mrs Fields.' Alison finished, and Emily thought her heart was going to shatter with how incredibly big it was. Her love for Alison soared, and for a moment, Emily thought she might cry.

'Mrs Fields, huh? You want to take my name?' She asked in disbelief. She had thought about what name each of them would take, but she didn't expect Alison would be so eager to take her name.  
'Being a DiLaurentis doesn't exactly fill me with pride' Alison replied softly. 'I want a name that I'm proud to tell people. I want to share the name of the person I love more than anything in this world. And I want a name that means something.' She finished, and that lump in Emily's throat grew. If she thought she might cry before, now she knew she definitely would. Tears formed in her eyes, and Emily blinked them back.  
'And who's to say I want to give it to you?' she joked, causing Alison to laugh. 'Alison, nothing would make me happier, than to share my name with you. And we'll get married as soon as we can, ok? I just need to figure out our financial situation first' Emily added, becoming more serious. She brushed a strand of hair behind Alison's hear and leaned down to kiss her softly.  
'We'll make it work, I promise' Emily finished, and that was all Alison needed. She already had a plan in mind. She was going to make it so that they wouldn't have to worry again.

Alison kissed Emily again, before leading her into the subway, their arms linked as they walked down the stairs.  
'I saw Hanna's article by the way' Alison stated with an amused tone.  
'And I'm still breathing?' Emily asked, after a moment's hesitation. She looked at Alison curiously, and saw that she had a scheming look on her face.  
'For now'  
Emily's eyebrows shot up, and she paused again before asking her next question.  
'What about Hanna?' she continued cautiously, because she honestly wasn't sure if she wanted to know the answer.  
'Well, I haven't filled her apartment with Carbon Monoxide or hired a hit man, if that's what you're asking' Alison answered casually, though she did smile, which made Emily realise just ow calm her Fiancée was about the situation. 'Though the thought did cross my mind'  
'Ali' Emily chuckled, rolling her eyes. She knew that, though Alison was making light of the situation, Hanna was going to most definitely pay for posting that picture.


	26. Devil In Me

**Hi there guys and girls. I hope you're all doing well on this beautiful day. I'm back again (I know, I'm as shocked as you are!) with another chapter! it's short again, but it's the last of the 'filler' chapters until we get into the final arc of this story, which is already half written!**

 **I honestly forgot how healing writing can be, and the support from you guys is overwhelming, so please keep that coming. It really does help!**

 **Anyway, I'll leave you to continue our story. We have a surprise guest in this chapter, so I hope you like that :)**

 **As always,  
Much love**

 **Lo**

 **xxx**

* * *

It had been a week since the dinner with Jason and Aria. A week since Aria said she had a P.I friend that could help her. A week of phone calls, mostly on Alison's part, in order to set up the meeting. Now, Alison was finally on her way to Spencer and Aria's apartment to meet the P.I, and hopefully get some answers. She was nervous, that was a given, but Alison was also ready to reunite with her Mom. She reached the door to the apartment that she had never before visited, which made her more anxious than she probably should have been. She shook off her nerves as she knocked on the door, and plastered on her most confident expression as Aria opened the door.  
'Hi' Alison greeted with a smile. That smile dropped quickly, however, when she saw the woman who was standing just a few feet behind Aria.  
'Mona!?'  
'Well hello to you too, Alison. I'd say it's nice to see you, but my Mother taught me not to lie' Mona replied snippily, her eyes looking Alison up and down.

Alison steeled herself for a show down. She had so much pent up inside of her, she had no doubts that she could give Mona a god old fashioned smack down.  
'I didn't quite believe it when Aria said you were still alive. I thought I was in some horrific nightmare' Mona practically sung. She paced around Alison, making her feel trapped and asserting her dominance.  
'Funny, I felt the same when I heard you were going out with her brother. I took you for a lot of things, Mona, but a cradle snatcher wasn't one of them' Alison bit back as she spun on her heels and blocked Mona's path, and effectively snatching back the power.  
'Oh you're hilarious. I could say the same about your brother. How old were you when he first kissed you, Aria?' Mona asked with a casual lilt. She looked at Aria over her shoulder, but the petite woman was already making her way between the two women. She had prepared herself for this. She was ready to pull them apart if need be.

'Enough! I brought you both here so that you could work together, not bitch at each other' Aria yelled. Both Alison and Mona halted instantly, shocked into submission by Aria's outburst.  
'Sorry, Ar' Alison mumbled, while Mona simply pursed her lips and looked from Aria back to Alison, her arms folded tightly across her chest.  
'Yeah, I just came to see for myself that she was really alive. I have no intention on working with her' Mona sniped, while glaring at Alison.  
'Please, Mona' Aria pleaded. She wanted to help Alison, partly because she felt bad about the whole 'Jason' thing, but also because they had been friends for a long time. She cared about Alison, and she knew that if anyone deserved to have things work out just once, it was the blonde woman in front of her.  
'Aria, hon, for you I will do anything, but for her...it's going to cost you' Mona replied coolly, her eyes still fixed on Alison, who was scrambling to get back some of the power that Mona had seemingly sucked from her.

'What do you want?' Alison asked steadily. She looked Mona dead in the eye, wanting to tell her that she wasn't going to be broken anymore, especially not by Mona Vanderwaal.  
'Something you could never give me' Mona replied with an eye roll and a smirk. She was playing games. She had Alison exactly where she wanted her, desperate and in need of her help, and she was going to make Alison work for it.  
'What? Name it, I'll do it' Alison yelped a little too fast. It only confirmed Mona's theory that Alison really was desperate, and it only made her want to play around a little more. She was like a cat with a mouse, and she was currently batting it around the floor.  
'For you to go to hell...for real this time' Mona spat, figuratively sinking her teeth in for the final bite. Her face was neutral, but her eyes were filled with glee and hatred. She was loving every minute of this, and Alison could tell.  
'Oh forget this. I'll find another way' Alison yelled. She wasn't going to play these games, not with Mona. 'Aria, thank you. I appreciate the help' She added, turning to her friend, before she made her way for the door.

'Wait!' Aria yelled, causing Alison to stop and Mona to look at her. 'Mona, please help her. Alison has been through more than I could possibly begin to explain and you are the only person who can help her get her life back on track. Please. For me?' she begged, her eyes pleading with her Sister-In-Law. Mona looked between Aria and Alison, her resolve melting just a little. The seconds passed like eternities, and Alison tried not to let the hope she was feeling, show on her face. Finally, Mona's eyes stopped on her, and a thoughtful expression crossed her face.  
'Is it true dear old Kenneth finally lost it and dragged you around the house like a ragdoll?' Mona asked in a strangely casual, but also dangerously curious voice. Alison wasn't sure, but she thought she could hear a touch of sympathy in Mona's tone.  
'Yeah. It's true' Alison mumbled, as she swallowed hard as the memory flashed through her mind like a sick home movie on repeat.  
'He almost killed you, from what I heard' Mona added pensively, as though they weren't talking about attempted murder and abuse.

'How did you-?'  
'I'm good at my job' Mona cut her off. She wasn't going to divulge in how she gets her information, and she most certainly wasn't going to tell Alison DiLaurentis that she had shown that much interest in the life of the person she had spent her teen years hating, to go snooping for information. 'I'll help you, but then we're done. I go back to my glorious life with Mike, and you go crawl back into the Emily shaped hole you came out of'  
'Deal' Alison agreed. She needed Mona's help, but she wasn't going to be making any friendships out of this arrangement. She wanted as little to do with the other woman as possible. Mona offered her hand out and Alison looked at it for a second before taking it, and shaking. Aria caught her breath as she watched on. She was pretty sure she just witnessed a deal with the Devil, though if you asked her who the devil was in this instance, she wouldn't be able to tell you.

Emily's eyes widened as she read the text message from Alison.  
'You guys, so the P.I is Mona!' Emily announced, interrupting Hanna's long and detailed account on the latest line from Michael Kors.  
'Mona!?' Spencer repeated. 'Ofcourse, why didn't I think of that before?' she wondered out loud.  
'Obviously you're not as smart as you think' Hanna replied bitchily. She was still pissed that she had been kept out of the loop for so long, and she was taking it out on everyone around her.  
'Ouch' Spencer replied in shock.  
'Hanna, for the last time, I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about Ali' Emily huffed, knowing exactly what Hanna's grumpy attitude was about.  
'I just don't get why you kept it from me, yet Spencer knew!' Hanna griped for the hundredth time in the past week.

'Again, Spencer only knew because we needed legal advice, and Aria just sort of found out about it. It wasn't kept from you out of malice, it was just a need to know situation at the time' Emily repeated the same words she had been saying each time they had this conversation.  
'We're supposed to be best friends, Em. I just feel like you're keeping me in the dark all the time' Hanna whined, and Emily admittedly, felt a little guilty for hurting Hanna's feelings.  
'Hanna, come on. It wasn't easy on her. On any of us' Spencer intervened, knowing that Hanna was guilt tripping Emily, and knowing that Emily was already beating herself up enough.  
'I know, but it just hurts ok? And now you'd rather go to Mona of all people, than to me for help with finding Ali's Mom' Hanna sulked. Emily wanted to point out that they didn't knowingly go to Mona, Aria did, but Spencer was in with a response before Emily could even fathom how to formulate that thought.  
'Mona is a PI, Hanna. You're not' Spencer's hand gripped her coffee cup in frustration. She wanted to throw something. Hard.

'No, but I have a boyfriend who is super smart and is a professional hacker for the government...and I wasn't supposed to tell anyone that...' Hanna trailed off. She had said too much.  
'I think you need to stop talking before you say something that could really get someone in trouble' Spencer stated certainly. She was already Alison and Emily's legal aide, she didn't need to be Hanna's too.  
'Look, I'm sorry that you're feeling left out, but this isn't for me. It's for Ali. And if I were you, I'd stay out of her way. She's still pissed at the stunt you pulled with that picture' Emily reminded Hanna. Alison hadn't really mentioned the picture or Hanna, but Emily knew she was still scheming and would most definitely make Hanna pay. Hanna seemingly knew that too, because she crossed her arms and rolled her eyes.  
'Fine' she muttered, before slouching back in her chair.

'Now that we've resolved this little issue, can we please get back to having a semi-normal lunch for once? I only have thirty minutes and then I have to be back in the office, I could do with a little time away from the crazy' Spencer sighed in relief, glad that Hanna had finally, hopefully, dropped her beef with them.  
'Yeah, and I have my first shift at the Diner this afternoon' Emily agreed, as took a bite of her Cheese and Ham Panini.  
'So you actually took the job then?' Hanna asked, perking up a little as they entered into a more pleasant topic.  
'Mhm, yeah' Emily mumbled, her hand covering her mouth as she chewed her food and swallowed. 'I mean I have bills to pay and a Wedding to save for. I can't exactly afford to stay out of a job for much longer' she explained, before taking another bite of her sandwich.  
'So you and Ali are going ahead with the wedding sooner rather than later?' Spencer asked, as she sipped on her coffee. She was having what she called a 'liquid lunch'. In Hasting's terms, that meant 'see how much coffee I can down in an hour'.

'Yeah, I mean, why wait? We both want to be married. We just need to figure out a way to pay for the damn thing' Emily replied. She'd marry Ali right away if she could.  
'You know, a part of me wants to tell you to slow down, but I feel like I'd be wasting my breath' Spencer admitted earnestly, as she placed her coffee mug down onto the table.  
'They waited ten god damn years, Spencer. I think they've waited long enough' Hanna spoke through a mouthful of sandwich.  
'True'  
'You think we're rushing in to it?' Emily asked. Part of her wanted to tell Spencer to mind her own business, but the other part of her genuinely wanted to know what her friends thought. She wanted them to be happy for her, but she also wanted to know if they thought she was running before she could walk.  
'Not necessarily' Spencer answered diplomatically. Emily raised a questioning eyebrow, and Spencer let out a breath before continuing. 'I'm just fighting against my relief that you finally found happiness, and my instinct to protect you from any potential suffering and pain. I'm sorry, it's a habit' she rambled.

Emily nodded her head a few times, taking in Spencer's words. She realised that it didn't matter where she was in her life, her friends would still worry about her, because she had caused them to worry. She had never given them any indication that they could stop worrying. She appreciated it, but she also hated it. She didn't want to be the person who had to be taken care of. She didn't want her friends to be on edge every time something shitty happened in her life. She wanted to have normal relationships like a normal twenty-something year old, and to deal with the bad stuff without people thinking she was going to hit the bottle or have a break down.

'I guess over the years, I've caused you to have to be protective of me, but honestly Spencer, I don't think you need to be worried anymore' She replied with as much honesty and integrity that she could muster. 'I'm happier than I've ever been in my life. I'm not drinking anymore, I'm not even _thinking_ of drinking. I'm feeling lighter and…it's like I can breathe for the first time in god knows how long. Sure, things could go wrong, but if I only get to feel like this for the next six months, I'll take it because feeling like this is the most amazing feeling in the world and I would rather feel it and take the risk, than be constantly worrying about what could happen and living in doubt for the rest of my life' Emily knew she had been on a journey. A rough, depressing one, but still a journey none-the-less, and she was at the end of that now. She had gone through her shit, and she had hit the good stuff. She had found her pot of gold at the end of a very dark and bleak looking rainbow. Her blue sky through the storm. She had come out the other side fighting, and sure she had battle scars but she was learning to love and appreciate every single one, because ultimately, they made her who she was.

'Ok, please stop because I'm super hormonal right now and I think I might cry' Hanna interrupted, causing both Emily and Spencer to laugh. All of them were getting emotional, because they had been through the storm together, and it had made them impossibly close.  
'So that explains the snarkiness today' Emily chuckled.  
'Be careful, she might turn in to an ogre and bite our heads off' Spencer added, causing Hanna's brow to furrow and her lips to pout.  
'I really hate you guys, you know that?' Hanna sulked, though Emily knew she secretly loved the banter between them.  
'Settle down, Shrek' Emily replied, causing Spencer to almost spit her coffee out of her nose and Hanna's scowl to deepen.

Aria and Alison were heading towards the Subway. Aria was heading into the city to meet Spencer, while Alison was heading out to Williamsburg to go to work.  
'It's Em's first day today, right?' Aria asked, as they made their way along the busy sidewalk.  
'Yeah, she's super nervous' Alison replied with a smile, half rolling her eyes, because really it was silly. Emily had no need to be nervous. 'I don't know why, she'll just be hanging out with me and being paid to make coffee.' She added with a chuckle.  
'Well, Emily's always been a perfectionist' Aria stated with a giggle.  
'Aria!' A deep voice called from across the street. Aria froze and Alison turned towards the person calling.  
'Aria, I've been trying to get a hold of you for weeks'  
'Go away, Ezra' Aria replied, before grabbing Alison's arm and dragging her down the street. Alison followed willingly, but looked over her shoulder to see that Ezra was following them.  
'Aria, please talk to me. Just give me five minutes!' he begged.  
'Maybe you should just talk to him' Alison whispered to Aria.  
'I don't want anything to do with him' Aria replied just as quietly, while Ezra tried to keep up with them and continued to call after her.

Alison stopped and turned on the spot to face Ezra, shocking both Ezra and Aria.  
'She said she doesn't want to talk to you' Alison raised her voice, using her most intimidating voice and viscous expression. 'Besides, you're too late. Aria is with Jason now' she added, hoping it was the killer blow she needed to get him to back off. Ezra's face reddened, and Alison smirked triumphantly.  
'You're lying' Ezra growled. His fists clenched tightly into balls as he looked over Alison's shoulder towards Aria, who was looking down at the ground.  
'Do you really think I would waste my time lying to piece of shit convict like you? Give me more credit' Alison sneered. 'Face it Ezra, you're scum and you lost her. She found someone better, so just head on back to your crack den, or wherever the hell it is you came from, and leave her the hell alone' she finished. Alison gave him one last look up and down, before she grabbed Aria and headed towards the subway. She glanced over her shoulder a few times to make sure Ezra hadn't followed them, and it appeared he got the message.

It wasn't until they got to the subway that she relaxed and either of them spoke again.  
'I'm sorry if I overstepped there, I jus-' Aria cut Alison off by throwing her arms around the other woman, pulling her into a tight hug.  
'Thank you for that' Aria breathed, and Alison could feel the other woman's heart pounding in her chest. She realised that Aria had been really scared of Ezra, and it concerned her.  
'You good?' she asked, as they parted.  
'Yeah, I will be' Aria replied with a small smile, though Alison wasn't convinced.  
'Are you sure? I mean, I can always call work and go in late. I can take you home, or call Spencer, or something' Alison offered. She felt extremely uneasy about leaving Aria alone after what had just happened.  
'I'm fine, honestly. I'll be on a packed carriage in a few minutes, and then I'll be in the city. I'll be fine. Go to work' Aria insisted, and Alison knew there was no point in arguing.  
'Ok, well call me if you need anything' Alison sighed. She pulled Aria into one last hug, before she parted and headed towards her platform. Aria glanced over her shoulder one last time, before she headed towards her own train.


	27. Breathe

It had been a week since Emily had started working at the Diner, and so far, it had been great. She and Alison worked most of their shifts together, which was nice, but Emily was more than aware that it would only be a temporary thing while she learned the ropes. Soon she would be working opposing shifts to Alison, which meant their time together would be cut drastically. It was for that reason that they were trying to make the most of the time they had, spending every moment with each other, and it was that reason that had them closing later than normal one Saturday evening.  
'Em, stop' Alison giggled as Emily stood behind her, peppering her neck with kisses.  
'I can't help it. I just can't keep my lips off of you' Emily mumbled into the back of Alison's neck, as the blonde tried to put the freshly washed glasses back into the storage closet. 'Your skin is so soft'  
'We can kiss later. Help me put these away' Alison moaned, though she made no attempt to push Emily off of her and actually tilted her neck to give her Fiancée more area to work with.

The two arms that were snaked around her middle, tightened and Emily's mouth moved to suck on Alison's pulse point, causing her to let out a breathy moan.  
'The girls will be here any second' Alison whispered. She could feel her cheeks heating up and a prominent ache formed between her legs. The glasses forgotten.  
'Then we should be quick' Emily mumbled, her hands making quick work to spin Alison around so they were facing each other, before hoisting her up onto the counter. Alison's feet hooked together at Emily's ass, pulling them closer together and their lips crashed frantically. Lips moved rhythmically and tongues massaged sensually. Moans filled the air and moisture coated panties. They were insatiable. Completely lost in each other. Emily unhooked the button on Alison's pants and her hand was sliding its way into her panties, when the peppy tune that was Alison's ringtone, filled the air.

'Ignore it' Emily groaned, pushing her hand down further, but Alison had stopped kissing and she knew that they wouldn't be continuing. Alison was already pulling back and grabbing her phone from the counter, grimacing in apology at Emily for the interruption.  
'I've gotta take this' Alison stated in apology, and when Emily saw the name that was flashing on Alison's screen, she knew that it wasn't a call that could be missed. Alison hit the accept icon on her screen and lifted he phone to her ear, while Emily pulled her hand from Alison's underwear and fastened the button on her jeans again.  
'Mona' Alison answered her phone, trying her best to keep all animosity out of her voice, since Mona was doing her a huge favour. She still couldn't believe that she was relying on Mona Vanderwaal, of all people, to help her out but beggars can't be choosers.

'Alison' Mona answered in the same curt tone, clearly just as unhappy with their current situation as Alison. She wouldn't admit though, that she felt somewhat sorry for her high school nemesis. Sure, Mona despised Alison greatly, but even she could admit that the other women had clearly been to hell and back. She felt like she was giving back a little by helping her, doing her one good deed.  
'Grab a pen and paper' Mona instructed, and Alison scrambled to find something. Emily, who was listening closely to the faint voice through the phone, held out her phone with hers and Alison's text thread already opened.  
'Thank you' Alison mouthed, as she grabbed the phone. She rested her own phone between her shoulder and her ear, while she clutched Emily's between both hands. 'Got it' she said aloud. Mona then recited a cell number and an address located in Pitsburgh.

'That's all I could find for her' Mona stated. 'They're a little over two years old, so there's a chance she could have moved on or changed her number, there's nothing more recent that I can find right now. I'll keep digging though' Mona promised, and for the first time ever, Alison was grateful that Mona Vanderwaal existed.  
'Thanks Mona' Alison said softly.  
'You're welcome' Mona replied, her voice and tone just as soft. 'And Ali…' she continued. Alison froze, waiting to hear what the other woman was going to say.  
'Good luck' came the sincere words that neither of them ever thought they would hear or say to the other.  
'Thanks'

By the time Alison hung up the phone, she felt incredibly strange. Strange that she had thanked Mona. Strange that Mona had wished her good luck. Strange that both of those things made her heart feel warm and gooey inside, rather than the coldness that it usually did when the other woman was concerned. Alison knew she had changed as a person, but until that moment she hadn't considered that maybe Mona had too. She wondered, very, very briefly, if perhaps there could be a world where she and Mona Vanderwaal might just, possibly, be able to tolerate each other. Before she could let that thought consume her too much, Emily was breaking her from her thoughts.  
'Are you going to call her?' she asked, her eyes wide and filled with both anxiety and excitement for her significant other.  
'I just...I need a minute to process this' Alison replied, shaking her head a little. It was all so overwhelming, she wasn't quite sure how to process everything.  
'Ok' Emily replied softly. She rested her hands on Alison's thighs and comfortingly rubbed her palms up and down the denim clad flesh. 'You don't have to do this right away. Take some time to think about it. I mean, it's been almost ten years. It can wait a few more days'  
'Yeah. You're right' Alison replied with a heavy breath, allowing herself to relax into Emily's touch.  
'Whatever you decide to do, we'll get through it together' Emily continued, saying all the words she knew Alison needed to hear. Alison smiled and leaned forwards, their foreheads resting together momentarily, before she drew the other woman into a slow, lustful kiss.

Aria, Spencer and Hanna were making their way from the Subway. The night was chilly, though not as cod as it had been in previous months. Still, it was cold enough that they had to hug their coats a little tighter around them, and cold enough to make Hanna moan.  
'Is the walk far? Because it's fucking freezing!'  
'No, it's literally two blocks' Spencer replied, rolling her eyes because Hanna had already complained that she hated taking the Subway, complained that there were too many steps in the city, and complained that the homeless guy in the station was staring at her ass.  
'Jeez, cranky much? What crawled up your butt?' Hanna asked grouchily.

Aria trailed behind them, allowing them to bicker. The hairs on the back of her neck were sticking up. She had been getting the same uneasy feeling all week, yet she couldn't put her finger on what was constantly causing her to feel as though she was being watched.  
'Aria, you ok?' Spencer asked, looking over her shoulder at the smaller woman. 'You've been weirdly quiet all evening' she added, noting how Aria hadn't instantly jumped in to stop the slanging match she and Hanna were dangerously close to.  
'I am? Sorry, I guess I'm just not really in a talking mood tonight' Aria dismissed. She didn't want to tell the others about her paranoia, mainly because she had no reason to be feeling so on edge. She didn't want them to worry about something that was unnecessary, or to treat her like she was one marble away from losing the lot.

'Aria, you're a newly taken woman who has sex on tap for the first time in god knows how long' Hanna jumped in with her two cents. 'You should be doing Riverdance down the sidewalk, not sulking in the shadows. What's wrong? DiLaurentis boy not good in the sack? Because if he takes after his sister, from what I've heard, then that should _not_ be an issue' She added, causing Aria and Spencer to look at her in both disgust and discomfort.  
'Ew. You listen in on Alison and Emily?' Aria asked, her nose turned up and her brow quirked.  
'I don't need to listen in on them' Hanna replied matter of factly. Her hands gesticulated wildly. 'The whole damn building has to vacate the premises when they're at it through fear of being scarred for life by the moans and F-Bombs, and praying to God that comes from that apartment. Either they're _really_ religious and they're constantly praying to the gods of the Lebanese' she finished, her hands finally making it safely back to clutch at her coat.  
'Nice...' Spencer replied with a look of distaste. Her mind was, yet again, filled with images of one of her best friends doing the nasty, and that was not what she needed in her life.

Spencer turned her attention back to Aria, figuring that was the safe alternative between the two topics.  
'You'd tell me if there was something wrong, right?' she asked tentatively, as they fell instep, Hanna wandering off ahead.  
'Of course' Aria replied instantly, forcing a smile on her face that Spencer wasn't sure she quite believed.  
'Ok' Spencer said softly, her eyes gaging Aria's face for a break in her façade. Not that she found one, of course. Before she could question anymore though, they had found themselves at the diner. Spencer was just about to tap on the glass door, when she caught sight of Emily and Alison in the very back of the restaurant, framed by the door frame. Alison was propped on the counter, her legs wrapped around Emily's waist, and Spencer didn't even want to know where Emily's hand was.

'I don't think there's anywhere that is sacred with these two. I'll bet you they fucked on that counter the first chance they got' Hanna remarked smugly.  
'Oh please, like you and Caleb didn't get caught in a very similar position just last week' Spencer countered as she side eyed the blonde woman beside her.  
'That's different, we were at home. We weren't in public' Hanna remarked confidently.  
'You were in the laundry room of your building Hanna. I wouldn't exactly call that private property' Aria chimed in. 'Ali said she went down to put on a load of whites and left needing more therapy than she's already having' she chuckled.  
'She should have knocked' Hanna retorted with a shrug, her cheeks flaming in embarrassment.  
'Hanna, it's the laundry room. I don't think she was expecting to find someone using the spin cycle as a sex toy' Spencer stated, an amused grin spreading across her face. Hanna huffed in response and ignored the other two women, who were smirking triumphantly at their successful attempt to render Hanna Marin speechless, and banged on the door. Emily and Alison, frustrated at yet another interruption, stopped their motions and looked in the direction of the Diner's entrance. Spencer and Hanna were looking on in amusement, while Aria was bopping up and down on the spot and looking over her shoulder every couple of seconds. After briefly debating leaving them outside and finishing what they had started, Emily begrudgingly pulled her hand out of Alison's jeans again and headed to the sink to wash her hands, while Alison fastened her button and zipper again and headed towards the door to let their friends in.

'Hey!' Alison greeted them as the three women filed into the restaurant.  
'Hey' they all replied in unison. Alison held the door as Spencer and Aria passed her. When Hanna walked passed her however, Alison swatted her over the back of the head.  
'Ow, Ali! What the fuck was that for?' Hanna shouted, her hand clutching at the spot on the back of her head that Alison had just hit.  
'That's for posting pictures of my Fiancée online' Alison stated. Her hand drew back again and this time she hit Hanna in the arm. 'That is for lying your ass off about it, and this-' She drew back again, but Emily grabbed her arm before she could swing again.  
'Ali, can you stop beating our friend now? Its girl's night' she stated simply, though her eyes sparkled with amusement at the situation. Alison sighed and dropped her hand, though she didn't stop glaring at Hanna. Both she and Emily knew that most of her frustration in that moment was from almost getting off twice, and being interrupted both times, though she was still pissed at the other blonde for her picture stunt.  
'You're lucky I can't say no to her. We're not finished here' Alison grumbled at Hanna, before walking away and perching herself on a bar stool.

The five women chatted in the Diner for a while, while Emily and Alison finished the clean up they had been distracted from before. When they were finished, the group were getting ready to leave and hit the Movie Theatre, when there was another knock at the door. They all turned to see Jason standing there, looking sheepish.  
'What is my brother doing here?' Alison asked Aria, her eyebrow raised questioningly.  
'Is he really that whipped that you can't go see a movie without him?' Hanna asked sarcastically.  
'Says the girl who's been sexting Caleb all night' Spencer rebutted, just as Jason held up a purse.  
'Oh, I must have left my purse behind' Aria stated with a smile, while Alison headed to the door to let him in.  
'Jason, if you wanted to be invited to girls' night, you only had to ask. You didn't need to steal Aria's purse.' Alison teased as she let her brother in and locked the door back up.

Once Alison was finished, she turned back to the group and looked at Aria.  
'You should watch him. He'll be strutting around in your panties if you're not careful' she stated with a smirk.  
'That was one time, and it was a dare' Jason replied with a chuckle, as he held Aria's purse out to her. 'I figured you wouldn't get very far without this.'  
'Aw, that's sweet. Thank you' Aria cooed, as she took her purse and leaned up to kiss Jason on the lips. Alison rolled her eyes playfully, while Hanna made a gagging noise behind them, causing Spencer to glare at her.  
'Are you leaving now?' Jason asked softly, directing his question solely to Aria. 'I'm heading towards the Theatre, I can walk with you' he offered, almost forgetting there were four other women in the room.  
'Yeah, that'd be nice. Girls?' Aria asked, looking to the other girls to see if they would mind the extra addition for their walk.  
'Fine by me' Spencer replied with a smile, while the other three simply nodded and shrugged their shoulders.

They all grabbed their bags and made their way out of the diner. Alison held the door while everyone filed out, Emily being the last. She graced the blonde with a tap to the butt as she walked past, making Alison yelp before rolling her eyes. Once they were all out, Alison flicked off the lights and closed the door behind her. She grabbed the keys from her handbag and locked the door, with Emily stood behind her, a hand resting on her lower back. Down the street, a car sat in the shadows. Hidden from plain sight. The driver watched the group closely. His fingers gripped the steering wheel tightly and his teeth raked across his lower lip as he planned to make his move. He watched intensely as Alison locked the door, Emily flanking her side. He noted the subtle touches, the hand on the lower back, the way Alison glanced over her shoulder with a loving look in her eyes. There was no mistaking the tenderness between these two. He watched as Alison stood and turned, pecking Emily on the lips before taking her hand. They made their way down the street with Hanna and Spencer leading the way. In the very centre of both couples was Aria and Jason, linked hand in hand, much like the couple behind them. The driver watched as Jason said something and Aria tipped her head back, a lilting laugh echoing through the streets and to the drivers ears. Aria looked at Jason with pure adoration, and the driver let out an angry growl. He turned the key in the ignition, bringing the car to life.

The headlights appeared out of nowhere, and it was Emily who spotted them first, though she paid no attention until she heard the growl of an engine. It was close, too close for her liking, and as the group crossed the street, she spotted the dark green sedan hurtling towards herself and Alison. The car was inches away, and she could practically feel the humming from the motor beneath the hood when she instinctively shoved Alison as hard as she could, out of the way of the car. A split second later, she took the impact.  
'Emily!' Alison screamed as she fell to the ground. She watched from the asphalt, as Emily tumbled over the car before landing behind it with a sickening thud. The car continued to propel forwards, until the driver lost control mere seconds later. It finally came to a halt with a crash, as the car collided with the front window of the diner, causing glass to shatter through the air.

Alison scarpered up off of the ground and ran to Emily's side. Hanna, Spencer, Aria and Jason were quick to follow, though Spencer looked back at the car that was now sitting in the diner they had occupied moments before. Alison dropped to her knees at Emily's side, tears springing to her eyes at the sight of the unconscious brunette on the ground. Blood pooled around her head, though Alison couldn't instantly tell where it was coming from.  
'Emily? Baby, wake up' Alison cried, as she cradled Emily's head with her hand, her thumb brushing over the swell of a bloodied cheek.  
'Don't move her, she could have internal injuries' Spencer informed her, trying her best to keep a level head, though it was admittedly hard, seeing Emily in such a state. They were all in shock, it had all happened so fast, and Spencer knew she needed to be the sensible one, the one who took control. As she looked around her, she saw she was right. Aria was stood behind Alison, staring down numbly, Hanna sobbed beside Alison, her hand covering her mouth to stop herself from crying harder. The only person who seemed to have any sense of decorum was Jason, who had already dialled 911 and was on the phone to the operator now. Spencer silently thanked God for the fact that she had some sort of support here.

Spencer looked back again at the Diner. The car still hadn't moved and nobody had gotten out. She nudged Aria's shoulder, getting her attention as she looked back at Hanna and Alison, who were crying over Emily's unconscious body.  
'Aria, I need to check on the driver. Can you just stay here and make sure that they don't move her please?' she asked, talking slowly so that Aria could makes sense of the request through her shock. Aria blinked and shook her head a little before nodding.  
'Yeah' she mumbled uneasily. Spencer looked at her closely for a second before pressing a firm kiss to her forehead and heading towards the mangled car. She rounded the vehicle and made her way to the driver's side.  
'Hello?' she called out as she got closer to the front of the car, listening closely for a response.  
'Are you ok?' she called again, when she heard movement from inside. She finally reached the window and the male driver lifted his head from the steering wheel, where he had obviously been unconscious just seconds ago.

'Ezra!?' Spencer gasped in shock, causing Aria and Jason's heads to whip around. Spencer stumbled back from the car as Ezra shook off the daze from the crash. Jason practically shoved his phone into Aria's hand before making his way across the street in five large strides. Before Spencer could even think about reacting, Jason had pulled Ezra out of the car and slammed him against the side of the vehicle. Ezra groaned as his back made contact with the metal body and Jason's fist gripped tightly at his collar.  
'What did you do!?' Jason spat angrily, their faces less than two inches apart. Ezra smiled lazily, his blood stained teeth shining brightly and a busted lip sticking out proudly.  
'Nice to see you too, old friend' Ezra slurred. The unmistakable scent of Whisky on his breath caused Jason's stomach to twist.  
'What did you do!?' he yelled again, slamming Ezra's body against the car again.  
'You took something from me. I figured I'd return the favour' Ezra slurred again. 'It didn't entirely go to plan, but I can't say I'm disappointed with the results' he sneered, his smile growing as he looked across at the lifeless body on the ground.  
'You're a sick bastard' Jason growled angrily, his fist tightening still against Ezra's neck. He wanted to kill him.  
'And whose fault is that, Jason!? You sent me to a place where I spent years surrounded by hardened criminals, people who had actually committed crimes, and you expect me to not pick up a few ideas along the way?' Ezra laughed. 'You must be stupider than you look'

Aria watched from feet away, the phone still glued to her ear. She desperately tried to focus to what the call operator was saying to her, all the while pining to be by Jason's side. Beside her, Alison was cradling Emily's head in her lap as she fought to keep her emotions under control. She furiously swiped at her tears as she talked to her unconscious Fiancée.  
'C'mon baby. Wake up for me' she begged sadly, her tears falling again. 'Please open those pretty eyes' she sobbed. A single tear fell from her cheek and landed onto Emily's face. It glistened in the light of the streetlamps.  
'What if she dies, Ali? What do we do then?' Hanna cried beside her, her own tears falling freely down her face. She hadn't even bothered to wipe hers away, she didn't see the point.  
'She wont' Alison replied confidently, as her thumb wiped away the tear that had fallen onto Emily's cheek.  
'But what if-'

'Shut up, Hanna!' Alison yelled, looking at the other blonde with a furious expression, because she really did not need to hear Hanna's negativity right now. 'Emily will be fine. She will wake up and she will come back to me. She has to' she continued, more for herself than Hanna, because she couldn't bear the thought of a life without Emily in it, not after seeing what they could have together.  
'C'mon Em. Wake up. Please, baby I already lost you once. I can't do it again' she cried sadly, as she softly stroked her fingers over the side of Emily's face. Her fingers smeared in the other woman's blood, and Alison knew that she was bleeding too much. She had felt the gash at the back of Emily's head when she first held her. She felt the blood that was matting in raven locks. She felt it coat her hands and arms. She tried desperately to ignore the sinking feeling in her that told her that Emily wasn't going to make it. Instead, she focused on the unsteady thrum of the brunette's pulse, fighting away beneath her fingers that lay delicately against her neck.  
'Please hurry' Aria begged into the phone, sensing the same feeling Alison had. Emily didn't have much time.  
'Services are on their way, Ma'am. Just hang in tight' The operator responded calmly.

'You didn't need to do this!' Jason screamed in Ezra's face, as he slammed the other man against the car over and over again. 'We could have sat and talked about this. You didn't need to- God!' Jason yelled into the air. His anger was getting out of control. All he could think about was how broken Alison was going to be if Emily didn't make it. How his little sister was going to be destroyed _again_ by a pathetic excuse of a man who led their life with alcohol.  
'Don't patronise me, you son of a bitch!' Ezra spat, the blood foaming against his lips. 'We were supposed to be friends. I watched out after your sweet little sister and got my ass thrown into jail for it. Then you decided to leave me rotting away there for years, while you hooked up with my girlfriend. You poisoned her against me!' Ezra cried, his voice finally rising. His anger bubbled up inside of him again as he thought about Jason kissing the lips he used to kiss. Jason's hands on the smooth skin that he used to claim as his own. Jason DiLaurentis had taken everything from him, and he was going to take it back.

'No, you're wrong. We only got back together recently' Jason replied a little calmer. He wanted to explain, to make Ezra see that he hadn't betrayed him. He hadn't done anything wrong. 'After Aria went out with you, I didn't see her for years. And I'm sorry about the prison thing. I didn't think it would go down like that. I tried to get you out, I swear but there was no bail granted for your release!' he explained, but he could see that Ezra was too far gone in his anger. This had been eating away at the man, who used to be his friend, for many years.  
'Don't you fucking lie to me! You didn't give a shit about me! You just wanted me out of the way so you could have her!' Ezra yelled, his eyed widening with rage. 'You might have Aria, but now your precious sister is going to lose the most important thing in her life and it's all thanks to you.' Ezra jeered. He had a gleeful glint in his eye, and Jason knew then that this wasn't going to end amicably. His own anger piqued again and he swung for Ezra.  
'I'll kill you for this!' Jason thundered, as his fist made contact with Ezra's jaw. He pulled back to take another blow, but Spencer grabbed his arm, finally stepping in,  
'Jason, stop! He's not worth going to jail for' she said firmly, her grip tightening on Jason's bicep. She heard the sirens in the background and knew that help was finally on its way. 'The police are on their way. Let them deal with him' she offered, hoping that it was enough to get Jason to lay off for a few minutes.  
'Prison is too good for this asshole' Jason grumbled as he looked at Ezra with disgust. As the sirens grew louder, he shoved the other man away and stepped aside, knowing that Ezra wouldn't get away now.

Alison was gripping Emily tightly when the paramedics arrived. She was terrified of letting her go, worried she would never see her again.  
'Miss, I'm going to have to ask you to let her go so that we can check her over' came a kind, but firm voice from beside her. Alison stared at Emily for a second before nodding. She handed Emily to the EMT and backed away uneasily, panic and fear flooding her body now that she didn't have Emily to hold on to. Aria instantly wrapped her arms around Alison, sensing how lost she felt. They all felt it. They all needed comfort.  
'What's her name?' asked the female EMT, who was kneeling at Emily's head.  
'Em-Emily' Alison stuttered, as she slumped against Aria's body.  
'Ok, Emily?' The paramedic called as she started to shine a light in Emily's eyes, looking for response. 'She's got swelling of the optic nerve' she told the other EMT, who was currently inspecting Emily's body for lacerations and injuries.  
'Emily, if you can hear me can you squeeze my fingers?' She asked, placing three fingers in the palm of Emily's hand, though it remained still on the ground.  
'She's completely unconscious'  
'Looks like we've got a broken wrist here too' the male EMT stated from the other side of Emily's body.  
'Let's get her in'  
'I'm coming with her' Alison blurted. She scrambled rom Aria's arms as the paramedics worked to get Emily on a stretcher.

Aria, now completely alone as Alison made her way towards the ambulance and Hanna argued with the paramedics that she was Emily's sister and should be allowed to go too, found that finally, her anger had risen inside of her. She stormed over to Jason, Spencer and Ezra, who were still waiting on the police to arrive, though Ezra seemed unconcerned about the fact that he would be hauled into a police car any second.  
'How could you!?' she screamed at Ezra as she shoved him hard.  
'Aria. How nice of you to join us' Ezra mocked with a sneer. 'Jason and I were just talking about you'  
'Why did you do this, Ezra? Why Emily of all people!?' Aria cried, her tears falling as both sadness and rage consumed her.  
'Oh please, Aria. You're smarter than that. You really think it was Emily I was trying to hit?' Ezra teased, the joy in his eyes not dissimilar to a child playing a board game. 'Alison was the target. Emily was the unfortunate one. Shame, she was a nice girl' He finished with unconvincing pity. He had no remorse for what he had just done.  
'If anything happens to her, I will kill you' Aria lunged at him, but Jason was quick to grip her around the waist and pull her away. Spencer however, stood and stared him down with a determined look.

'I will make sure that you go down for this. By the time I'm finished with you, you won't even remember what the outside of a cell looks like.' It wasn't a threat. It was a promise. As the Police officers made their way over, Spencer turned her back on Ezra and began to fill them in on what happened, while another officer tested Ezra's alcohol levels with a breathalyzer. He was found to be three times over the limit and was immediately hauled into the back of a cruiser with a nice new pair of bracelets.  
'Officer, you might find this to be useful' she stated as she handed her phone out to a police officer. She hit a play button on her screen, and smirked as Ezra and Jason's voices floated from her speaker. She had always been cunning and quick thinking, but her legal training had taught her to always record any legal conversations. With this recording, she knew it was all the evidence she needed to ensure that Ezra ended up where he belonged, of course it also meant that Alison's story would need to be explained, and though she was wary about the details, Spencer told the police everything they needed to know.  
'Alison DiLaurentis is alive, and she's the start to all of this.'


	28. To Build A Home

Hanna, Spencer and Aria were sat in shock. The waiting room moved around them as they tried to process everything that had happened. Their girl's night had gone terribly awry. None of them expected to be sat in this position. Hanna stared down at the blood on her hands, Aria couldn't stop her silent tears that soaked into Jason's shirt and Spencer, who had been the last to crumble, kept her glassy gaze on the double doors ahead of them. Alison paced back and forth, unable to sit still. She was scared and impatient and angry, and she was worried that if she didn't burn off the adrenaline that was pumping through her, she might explode at someone in order to release just a tiny bit of the pent up emotions that were battling to take over her. Her clothes were still coated in her Fiancée's blood. It had dried on her hands and her nail beds were now coated in a dark, rusty colour. The once scarlet stain on her top, was now brown. Just one indication of the hours they had been waiting for any sort of update on Emily's status.

Alison was just about to go ask, for the two hundredth time, for an update on Emily, when Toby and Caleb arrived. Caleb made a beeline for Hanna and instantly wrapped her up in his arms, causing her to sob harder, while Toby stopped in front of Alison. He rested a hand on her shoulder, causing her attention to focus on him.  
'Why don't you come sit for a moment?' he asked, though it was more of an instruction than a suggestion. She didn't have the energy to fight and she knew that if she opened her mouth to say anything, she'd end up blurting a load of abuse. She wouldn't do that to Toby, he was a good guy and she knew he was trying to help. So, she nodded and allowed him to direct her to the seat beside Spencer. She sat silently and when Spencer gripped her hand, she gripped it back just as tightly. They were in this together. They all loved Emily, and they were all hurting, knowing that she was in danger.

Toby squatted down in front of Spencer and Alison. He looked up at their tear-filled eyes and had to swallow his own before he spoke. He hated that he was limited in what he could do to fix this.  
'You ok?' he asked. It was a stupid question, that much he knew, but he honestly didn't know what else to say to them. Alison remained frozen, her eyes still trained on the doors ahead, while Spencer looked at Toby. She smiled a small, sad smile and shrugged her shoulders. If she spoke, she'd cry and she couldn't break, not now when the other girls needed her to be strong. They were all crumbling, one of them needed to keep level headed and she knew it had to be her.  
'I'm going to go see what I can find out, ok?' Toby said in a low voice. He couldn't stay looking at their broken faces anymore, and he needed to do something that might help. Something of substance. Spencer simply nodded and swallowed hard. She watched Toby stand and walk away, before she looked at Aria, who was still crying into Jason's shoulder. Then to Hanna, who was sobbing into Caleb, her bloodied hands gripping at his t-shirt.

'This was not supposed to happen' Hanna sobbed. 'Emily. She-' Hanna continued, cut off by a hard bought of sobs, which caused Caleb to tighten his arms around her. He held her close and she muffled her cries into his chest.  
'Did anyone call Emily's Mom?' Spencer asked aloud, suddenly struck by the thought that they should let Mrs Fields know that her daughter's current predicament.  
'Toby called her from the cruiser' Caleb confirmed softly, his arms still wrapped tightly around his girlfriend.  
'Oh god. Pam. How do we explain this to her?' Hanna cried again. Her words were still muffled, but they were clear and loud enough for the group to hear.  
'Hanna, will you please shut up!? I can't listen to you panicking anymore!' Alison snapped. Her emotions had finally gotten the better of her, and much like she predicted, she lashed out at someone who she knew didn't deserve it.

Spencer released Alison's hand and began to rub her back soothingly.  
'Hey, she's just worried' she whispered, trying to calm Alison. Spencer knew what Alison was like when she was anxious, and the fact that Emily was hurt would make her ten times worse. It was a part of the reason she was trying to be level headed. She needed to be the calm one to keep Alison from spiralling and threatening to set an interns coat on fire, or something equally ridiculous and dramatic. Alison let out a heavy sigh and put her head in her hands, wiping away the few tears she let spill over.  
'I know, I'm sorry. It's just...seeing her on the gurney... having her blood on me... I need to stay positive right now or I'll never get through this' she stated uneasily. Her mind was still filled with images from hours before. The panic that coursed through her as Emily was bundled into the ambulance. The nervousness she felt as they made their way to the hospital.

 _Alison gripped Emily's hand tightly, pressing kisses to her knuckles. She was terrified to let go. Terrified that she wouldn't get to hold her again. The ride to the hospital was strange. It was nerve-wracking, yet somewhat peaceful. The soft voices of the EMTs were almost comforting. The sway of the carriage as they sped to the hospital. It was all over far too quick though. The calm, darkness of the cab was broken by the doors opening suddenly, and Emily's gurney was pulled out of the vehicle and was left scrambling to keep up. They rushed down the hall, Alison still trying to keep hold of Emily's hand until the very end._

 _'We've got a_ _Twenty-Four year old_ _female with possible intracerebral haemorrhage. She also has a suspected distal radius fracture and has taken a severe blow to the chest. We're unable to gain consciousness' The EMT stated in a rushed voice. None of those words made any sense to Alison, she had no medical knowledge really, but it sounded bad._  
 _'Let's prep her for CT and see what we've got' The Doctor replied. His voice was a little calmer, but still had an edge to it. Alison couldn't put her finger on what it was, but it scared the hell out of her. She gripped Emily's hand tighter, until a nurse was detaching their fingers and holding Alison by the shoulders. She was talking, but Alison couldn't make out any of the words. All she knew was that Emily was being wheeled through a set of double doors and the nurse was leading her towards the waiting area. A cup of something hot was forced into her hands and she was eased into a seat. She felt lost all of a sudden, as though_ _someone had just taken away a limb or something. She couldn't shake the feeling that she had possibly just seen Emily for the last time._

Alison wasn't sure how long had passed. Her eyes had been fixed on those doors for some time though. She refused to look away, convinced that if she looked away, she'd miss something. She felt herself being pulled into a hug, and it wasn't until she inhaled that familiar smell that she realised who it was.  
'Pam' she whispered, as she clung to the older woman. 'I'm so sorry' she cried, her tears finally falling as she felt herself relax in the comforting embrace of the woman who had been more of a Mother than her own had over the years. Sure, she hadn't seen the older Fields woman in a very, very long time, and had they been under normal circumstances, she'd have been terrified about reuniting with her. In the current situation however, Alison had never been happier to see Pam.  
'What happened?' Pam asked softly. She pulled back a little to look at Alison, who was blinking through thick tears.  
'The car...it came out of nowhere and Emily...she saved me' Alison stuttered. Words seemed so hard to say after hours of saying nothing. Her throat hurt and her eyes stung and her heart felt heavier than it ever had.

'I'm so sorry' Alison repeated again, because though she knew it wasn't her fault, she couldn't help but blame herself. She had bitched at Ezra only a few days ago. She had told him he was worthless and called him a criminal. She had pushed him to do this.  
'Honey, this wasn't your fault' Pam replied surely, as she delicately wiped away Alison's tears. 'You are not to blame for this' she added, before sitting in the seat beside Alison.  
'She's in surgery right now' Spencer began, ready to recite the medical facts. She couldn't calm the other women, she couldn't stop people from worrying, but she could flaunt her medical knowledge and issue the facts. It wasn't much, but it was enough to keep her calm. 'She had a pretty nasty break to her wrist, so they're trying to set it before they cast her. She also had a large amount of bleeding from her head, which they were trying to control. We don't know much more than that though' Spencer finished, her words gentle and as delicate as they could be when one is talking about brain injury.  
'Oh good heavens' Pam whispered, as she took in a breath to steady herself.

Toby walked back towards the group, leaving his cop buddies, who had been circling the waiting area and watching a certain blonde-haired woman like hawks. Alison had pretty much been unaware of their presence, but Spencer remained on high-alert, waiting for them to swoop.  
'I spoke to my Captain. He's going to need to bring you in for a statement Alison, but he said that it can wait until tomorrow what with the circumstances' Toby informed them. It wasn't a surprise that Alison would have to go into the station and explain her whereabouts for the past 9 years. The surprise was that the police were being sympathetic enough to allow her this time to get over the shock of her Fiancée getting run down by a Ford Focus. Alison bit down on her bottom lip and nodded. Now not only was she terrified of losing Emily, she was scared she was going to find herself serving a life sentence in Bedford Hills Correctional Facility.

Spencer could sense Alison's fear, and she felt it herself. They were going to be facing the toughest challenge yet, but hopefully it would be the last. Spencer placed her hand on Alison's thigh and squeezed it gently.  
'Hey, it's ok. I'll brief you' she reassured Alison. 'You've got this'  
'But what if they find out about…' Alison began to question, doubt sinking into her. She felt as though her whole world was crumbling from beneath her. Emily was fighting for her life and her freedom was at stake. Everything she had fought for was disappearing.  
'We'll figure it out. Don't worry' Spencer interrupted, not wanting Alison to worry about anything more than she needed to right now. Alison swallowed hard, her anxiety creeping up again. There was too much to deal with. It was all too overwhelming, and she needed to break free for just a moment.

'I think I need to go for a walk' she muttered, as she stood from her chair. Spencer was quick to stand too.  
'I'll come with you' she almost yelled. It wasn't a request, Spencer had already decided that she wouldn't be leaving Alison alone today.  
'I need to be alone right now' Alison replied quietly, before taking off out the doors. Spencer instantly made to follow her, but Pam's hand on her bicep stopped her mid-stride.  
'Give her space, dear' She said, offering Spencer a kind smile. Spencer bit down on the corner of her mouth in thought. She looked at Aria, and then to Hanna. Both women were a mess, though the tears had slowed significantly. Spencer figured if Alison didn't need her right now, the others did. Alison would take the time she needed, and then would come back when she was ready.

Alison walked out of the front doors and took in a deep breath as she leaned against the wall. 24 hours ago, she and Emily were lying in their bed making passionate love with each other and talking about their wedding plans. Now Emily was lying in an Operating Room and Alison had to go talk to the Police, which could possibly end with her getting arrested for murder. She wondered how the world had become so fucked up in such a short space of time. She looked down at the shiny engagement ring on her finger, twisting it as she stood in thought, the wind blowing her long, blonde curls around her. She thought about how she had dreamed of Emily walking down the aisle to her. Of them buying the Diner from Elinor and running it, just the two of them. Of raising children in that very space, and living the happy ever after they more than deserved. The very thought that that might not be a possibility now was gut-wrenching. Alison needed to talk to someone. Someone who could offer her advice and perspective, and maybe a little tough love. There was only one person she knew that could possibly offer her what she needed right now, and it was the last person she thought she'd ever go to for comfort. She pulled out her phone and tapped on the number in her contact book, praying there was an answer on the other end. The phone rung five times before it finally connected.  
'Hello?'  
Alison almost jumped out of her skin at the voice.  
'Mommy?'

It felt like hours had passed since Alison had left them. Hanna was sitting cuddled up to Caleb, Aria was still cuddled in to Jason, and Spencer was pacing frantically, while Toby watched her like he would a tennis game. Pam, though anxious, remained stoic and calm. It was evident from the woman where Emily got her serenity from, because one would never think this woman's daughter was lying on an operating table at that moment.

'Maybe I should go find her' Spencer thought aloud, as she worried at her bottom lip.  
'She needs some time alone, Spencer. She'll be back' Pam assured the tall brunette. She knew from past experience that if Alison was cornered, she'd lash out. Sometimes it was best to give the DiLaurentis girl space and allow her to reconnect with herself when tension was high.  
'But what if-?'  
'I'm looking for the family of Emily Fields?' A doctor called, stopping Spencer mid-sentence. Seven sets of eyes looked up at the scrubbed up Doctor, who held his scrub cap in his hand and ran his fingers through his hair.

Pam was the first in front of him with Spencer quickly flanking her side, while the rest of the group remained seated, but listening carefully.  
'Hi, I'm Dr Matthews' he introduced himself, though Pam didn't need the pleasantries or introductions.  
'How is she?' Pam asked, and for the first time, Spencer could hear the worry in the older woman's voice. Yeah, there was no mistaking where Emily got her strength from. Pam Fields was like a god damn superhero when it came to keeping her emotions in check. It was something that Spencer especially, admired greatly.  
'She's out of surgery and in recovery. She has a complex break to her left wrist. The joint was shattered and she has completely snapped both of the bones there' The doctor began to spiel, trying to keep his medical lingo to a minimum, and put the extent of Emily's injuries into laymen's terms. 'We rushed her in to surgery to set the bones in the correct position, and we've inserted a rod in to the wrist to hold it together while it heals. We'll go in again in a few weeks and replace the bar with a wire, which will help with function of the joint but also provide stability. He continued. He took a deep breath, ready to continue relaying the extent of Emily's injuries. 'She has severe bruising to her chest and abdomen as well as 3 broken ribs on her left side, which will cause her some discomfort when she's awake, but nothing too complicated there.'

Pam nodded along, while Spencer made mental notes of every injury that Emily had sustained.  
'I'm aware that she lost a fair amount of blood due to a wound on her head, however I'm happy to report that it's purely cosmetic. We've glued the incision and I don't see any issues with that.' Dr Matthews continued. He paused momentarily before he continued with the last part. It was the part that he knew the family would worry most about. The part that he and his team were most concerned about. 'Now, she has a very small bleed on the brain, which has caused a build-up of pressure in the cranium'  
'What does this mean?' Pam asked fearfully. She may have had control of her emotions before, but Spencer could see that the older woman was about to completely lose it.  
'I know that it sounds scary, and I won't lie, it can be' He replied, placing a comforting hand on Pam's shoulder. 'I can assure you that my team and I are doing everything we can for Emily. We've run a CT and an MRI, and have already started her on a course of medication that we are hoping will keep the bleed and pressure under control, and we will be keeping her in for the time being in order to assess her recovery. For the moment, I'm not worried, but we're taking every precaution.'

'What are the risks associated with this type of injury?' Spencer asked eagerly. She needed all the facts, and she knew that Pam would want to know eventually, she just hadn't caught up with what to ask just yet.  
'Well, it really is difficult to say' Dr Matthews answered diplomatically. This was the question her hated answering because with brain injuries there was no uniform answer. It wasn't a one-size-fits-all injury. Every patient experienced a range of different side effects, and they ranged from minimal effect to the worst case scenario, and it was often the latter that families tended to focus on. 'Most commonly patients with brain injuries like this tend to suffer with headaches and migraines, blurred vision, some nausea and vomiting. There are obviously the rare cases in which patients lose fine motor skills or have speech difficulties. There could be balance issues, or seizures. It really is hard to tell how severe this will affect Emily, if at all. I'm afraid that it's a waiting game' He was apologetic with his answer. He knew it wasn't what this family needed to hear right now. They needed good news, something to give them hope. He couldn't give them that, however. Not yet, anyway.  
'When can I see her?' Was Pam's next question. Again, it was expected. This, however, was much easier to answer than the previous.  
'We'll be keeping her in recovery for the next hour or so, but as soon as she's back in her room, I'll send a Nurse to bring you to her' Dr Matthews replied with a smile.  
'Thank you so much' Pam said graciously. Sure, it wasn't great news, but Emily was alive, and that counted for something in Pam's mind. Whatever else happened, they would deal with.  
'I'll go find Ali and tell her the news' Spencer stated, turning away before Pam could respond.

Spencer didn't have to look far. She bumped into Alison the second she left the waiting area, the blonde already making her way back into the building.  
'Ali! The Doctor came. Emily's out of surgery and in recovery' Spencer began, wanting to start with the good news first. She was a little worried that if Alison had any more bad news, she might totally break down.  
'Is she ok? Can we see her yet?' Alison asked, her eyes flitting over Spencer's face. She could see the other woman was holding something back. Something was wrong. 'What's wrong with her, Spencer?' Spencer was totally caught off guard by Alison's perception. She thought she had time to ease Alison into the extent of Emily's injuries.  
'Uh, she has a brain injury, Ali' Spencer began. 'She had a bleed on the brain and some pressure there. The Doctor said they have it under control, but they're not sure of how it will affect her in the long term.' Spencer decided that it was best to be truthful. Alison would find out eventually, and as Emily's Fiancée, she had a right to know what was going on.  
'Fuck' Alison breathed. She tipped her head back and bit down on her bottom lip as she fought back the tears that were still threatening to fall. She felt sick to the stomach and her heart felt as though it were beating at half pace. It felt heavy and clunky with each beat, and it hurt.

'How bad is it going to be, Spencer?' Alison asked, bracing herself for the worst.  
'I don't know. We won't know until she wakes up' Spencer replied honestly.  
'But she will wake up. Right?' Alison asked. She needed something to keep her going. Something to stop her world from spinning out of control.  
'The doctor didn't say otherwise' Spencer answered diplomatically. 'We can see her in about an hour' She offered, hoping that it was enough to subdue Alison and give her atleast the tiniest bit of good news to cling to.

Alison nodded and they stood in silence for a few moments before she spoke again.  
'I have some things I need to take care of. I need to leave town' she mumbled finally. They weren't the words that Spencer expected to hear.  
'Leave town?' she asked in confusion, her brow crinkling. She couldn't fathom why Alison would want to leave town now, when Emily needed her most. 'You can't leave her, Ali! Not again!' Spencer's anger began to grow. There was no way in hell she was letting Alison hurt Emily by leaving her again.

'I'm not leaving her, Spencer. I'll be back' Alison assured her. 'I'm doing this _for_ Emily. I spoke to my Mom. I told her the whole story, about what happened with my Dad, everything. She said she wants to help, and I'm not exactly in a position to turn that down right now. If she can vouch for me, tell the police what sort of man my Dad really was then maybe they'll be lenient. Let me off with a suspended sentence or community service, or something' Alison rambled. She wasn't even sure if there was such a thing as community service as a punishment for killing your murderous, alcoholic Father, but her mind was going haywire right now, and she was thinking anything but clear thoughts.  
'Spence, I need you to buy me time. If the cops come looking for me to give them a statement before I've spoken with her...well, I might as well just sign my own prison sentence' She added, as she ran her fingers through her hair. It was too much. Everything was just far too much.

'I can do that' Spencer assured her, wanting to take the load atleast a little. She needed to do something, because she honestly just felt useless in this whole mess.  
'Where are you meeting her?' Spencer asked softly. She wasn't sure it was the best idea, but she knew it was something Alison needed to do, and she wasn't about to argue.  
'I have to meet her at some coffee shop in Harrisburg tomorrow morning' Alison sighed, as she mentally worked out what time she would have to leave in order to get there.  
'Harrisburg? That's like a four hour drive' Spencer replied in shock. She had hoped that Jessica DiLaurentis would atleast have had the decency to come into the city to see her undead daughter.  
'I know'  
'Do you want me to come with you?' The brunette offered, still desperate to find her place in this whole mess. She couldn't help with Emily, but as Alison's lawyer, she could help try to keep her friend out of jail.  
'No, I'm going to ask Jason to come. I need you to stay here with Emily in case she wakes up. I could be gone for a while' Alison stated thoughtfully. She didn't want to say that she might not make it back before the cops caught up to her, but Spencer knew what she was getting at.  
'Ok. Anything you need' Spencer promised. It was a promise she would never break.


	29. Look After You

She felt light, airy almost. As though she were floating. It was a strange feeling, to say the least. She opened her eyes and found herself doused in warm sunlight. Dust particles travelled through the air, glittering in the beams of light that filtered in through the leaves above. The soddy earth beneath her feet was cool in comparison. It was soft beneath her bare feet, almost like sand. She recognised the place, it was more than familiar. It was a special place; A place she only came with-  
'I wondered how long it would take you to get here'  
She spun on her heels and came face to face with the one person who could always make her heart soar. There in the magical glow of the sunlight, her golden hair cascading down her shoulders, was Alison.  
'Alison? Where are we?' Emily asked. She didn't remember coming here. She tried to think of the last thing she remembered, but her mind was completely blank. It was as though someone had come along and magically erased every memory she had.

Alison looked at her with a sympathetic smile. She reached out to take Emily's hands and linked their fingers between them.  
'We're in a place we can be free, Em. Just you and me' Alison replied in that oh-so-sweet voice of hers. She was like a siren, singing the most beautiful melody. One fine-tuned just for her.  
'The kissing rock?' Emily asked in confusion, as she looked down at the dirty old rock. It was where people came to make out, she knew that much. Alison had told her many years ago that you could hear the ghosts of old lovers. They supposedly urged you to do the deed. Emily had never heard them, but Alison was sure they were there. Now Emily wondered, were _they_ the ghosts? Alison giggled, and it was like the most magical sound.  
'We can be wherever you want us to be' she sang in that lilting voice of hers.  
'Are we...dead?' Emily voiced her concern. Alison seemed to ponder this idea for a moment before she turned to face Emily face on.

'No. Not yet anyway' Alison reached up and hooked a strand of hair behind Emily's ear. 'You have a choice to make, my love' she tilted her head to the side. Her eyes sparkled in the light, and Emily was sure they had never looked so breath taking.  
'What do you mean?' Emily asked unsurely.  
'We can stay here, or we can go back. It's up to you' Alison replied simply, shrugging her shoulders as if it were no big deal. Emily looked around. She felt at peace here, surrounded by Alison's love. But she also felt uneasy. Like something didn't belong. Something wasn't right. The air changed around them, the warmth replaced by a cool breeze. A few leaves scattered across the ground, swirling around their legs. Emily's eyes continued to flicker around the now darkened clearing, and that was when she saw it. The shadow in the distance, looming over them.  
'Ali... Ali run' she yelled in a panicked tone, as the sight of a very angry Kenneth DiLaurentis appeared behind Alison. 'Ali, get out of here!' she continued, pushing Alison to get her to move, but Alison just stood there looking at her lovingly. Despite her best efforts, Emily couldn't get Alison to move and she couldn't understand why the blonde wouldn't listen to her.

'Ali, he's coming! Go!' Emily shouted again. Her eyes were wide and her breathing was beginning to labour through the fear she felt. She didn't want Alison to come to harm again. She wouldn't let that happen.  
'Silly Emily. Don't you know, he's already here' Alison replied in that same sing-song voice. A silly smile remained on her face and her eyes continued to sparkle. Emily watched as Kenneth drew closer. A gnarled, wrinkly hand reached out. It was so close, Emily could see the callouses on his knuckles and the bitten down nails. She looked up into the coldest, most hateful eyes she had ever seen.  
'Ali, run' Emily begged. Allison remained stood in the same spot, that same smile and that same loving look on her face. It was as though she were blissfully unaware of the fact that she was in danger. Emily watched in horror as Kenneth reached out and grabbed Alison's hair.  
'Ali!' she screamed, as he dragged her away.

'Ali! Come back!' Emily cried. She tried to get to her, but something was holding her back. She reached out, but she couldn't reach her. Emily cried and screamed until the clearing was empty and silent, and the only thing left was the soft sound of a soft, steady beat. It was fast, but strangely soothing.  
'What is that!?' she whispered aloud. She looked around for the source of the strange beat, but the clearing was completely empty.  
'Emily?' She heard Alison's voice calling in the distance. It was comforting and gentle. She felt something on her cheek. She reached up to touch the spot, but there was nothing there.  
'Alison?' she spoke out, but her voice sounded different. She sounded groggy and croaky.  
'I'm here baby. I'm right here' Alison replied, her voice still distant and echoing. Then Emily felt a pressure on her lips. She brought her fingers up to touch them, marvelling at how they tingled.  
'Come back to me, sweetie' came the voice again, and with more pressure points on her face, followed by tingling sensations, Emily felt herself relax. Her heart slowed and her body felt light again. With Alison's hands touching her, she felt herself slip away into a peaceful darkness.

Alison's thumb stroked back and forth across Emily's cheek. She looked up at the heart monitor that had increased rapidly just moments ago. Alison had been resting by Emily's bedside when the monitor had sped up. She had looked up to see that Emily was visibly in distress, her face contorted in a pained grimace. Emily had mumbled Alison's name a few times, and Alison had jumped up instantly at the sound. She had seen Emily have nightmares before, they were a common affair after the whole Riley fiasco, and so Alison knew instantly what to do. She stroked at Emily's cheeks and peppered her face with kisses until she calmed.  
'Is she still in distress?' Pam asked quietly as she entered, two coffee cups in her hands.  
'Yeah. She keeps mumbling my name' Alison replied tiredly. It had been the longest day of her life and she was exhausted, but she refused to sleep.

'She knows you're here. She always could sense when you were around' Pam stated in slight amusement. She handed Alison her coffee cup and settled into the chair beside her. They had been sat in those very seats for hours now, neither one of them wanting to leave for more than ten minutes at a time. They knew it was a long shot that Emily would wake up tonight, they had been told that it could be a few days, but neither of them wanted to take the chance. They knew Emily better than anyone, and if anyone would defy the doctor's odds, it was Emily.  
'I'm so sorry for what I did to her, Pam' Alison whispered into the silence of the room, the only sound coming from Emily's heart monitor.  
'You didn't do anything, Alison. This wasn't your fault' Pam repeated the same words she had said earlier in the day. Alison smiled sadly and sat up a little straighter.  
'I still don't believe that I'm not to fault for this, but I was actually talking about when I left' Alison replied. 'I should never have left her like that. I should have gotten in touch with her somehow. Let her know I was ok. I knew what it would do to her, and I did nothing to stop it' Alison's voice grew angrier as she spoke. It was something she hadn't really let herself think of for months now, not since she and Emily had gotten back together. Yet being with Pam in the quietness of the hospital room was giving Alison far too much time to think, and her thoughts were turning hateful and self-destructive.

'Alison, I don't blame you in the slightest for what happened back then, or for what happened tonight' Pam countered. 'I'll admit, when you first came back into Emily's life, I was sceptical, but I didn't know what you had been through, and I didn't see how truly happy Emily is with you. I wouldn't have it any other way, than for you two to be together. It's like you were made for each other' Pam continued wistfully. She reached out and squeezed Alison's hand, her eyes catching the time on the clock on the wall. It was 2am, and Pam knew that Alison would have to leave in two hours to drive to Harrisburg.  
'It's late' Pam said simply. Alison nodded and licked her lips.  
'I hope she wakes up before I have to go. I don't want her to wake up without me here' she said sadly, knowing that the chances of that were slim to none.  
'She'll understand' the older woman replied faintly. Alison responded with a sigh, looking back at Emily on the bed. She wished more than anything that she could stay with her, but Alison knew that she was leaving for the right reasons. She just hoped that she would be able to come back to her, just as she had promised Spencer.

'You should get some rest. It's been a long day' Pam hushed, her hand still resting over Alison's. It was a small comfort for the both of them.  
'I'm fine' Alison lied, her eyes not moving from Emily.  
'I can wake you if she wakes up' Pam offered, causing Alison to chuckle at how transparent she was being.  
'Ok' she whispered, before shifting in her seat. She took her hand back from beneath Pam's, and leaned forwards rest her head on the edge of Emily's bed. Amongst the clinical hospital smell, she could smell Emily, and that combined with the gentle beeps from Emily's heart monitor, eased her into a light sleep.

Pam sat and watched them closely and not for the first time, marvelled at how incredibly in love the two young women were. She had always found it fascinating to watch them, even when they were teenagers. Emily and Alison always seemed to move around each other, like planets orbiting the sun. They moved together as one entity, as though they were magnetised. One moved, the other moved too. One stopped, the other would practically freeze in position to match. It reminded her a lot of Emily's Father. They too, had the type of relationship that moved Heaven and Earth. That was, until Heaven threw a spanner in the works and took him for good. Emily was young when it happened, barely in Middle School at the time, but Alison had been there to hold her hand and wipe away her tears. Emily was devastated at the loss of Wayne, but with Alison by her side she pulled through and continued, growing up to be a happy healthy young woman. Even then, Pam could see that there was something special between the two girls. Of course, she didn't know quite how special their relationship would be. She watched them blossom and grow over the years, and she saw how dangerously close they were.

It didn't surprise her to see the way Emily cracked when Alison went missing. She was shocked when she discovered that her daughter had turned to alcohol to deal with her problems, but more so because she had never noticed her teenage daughter was spiralling out of control. Still, Emily was always very good at hiding her secrets. Pam thought she was going to lose her daughter that first day she found Emily in the E.R getting her stomach pumped. She thought that her daughter had died with Alison DiLaurentis. Pam had lived on edge every day since then, waiting for the news that Emily had drowned herself in liquor. When she didn't hear from Emily for several weeks, she feared the worst had happened, but she told herself that Hanna or Spencer or Aria would call her if that were the case.

The day she heard Alison's voice answer the phone, everything suddenly made sense. To say she was scared would be an understatement. Pam knew that Emily wouldn't handle losing Alison again, and she didn't trust the blonde to stick around. She prayed to Wayne to watch over their baby girl. Begged him to keep her safe. Then, one night, he came to her in a dream. Told her that Emily would be ok now; That he had made sure of that. Then, when Emily started to call more and made more of an effort to keep her in the loop, Pam couldn't deny that maybe Alison being back was for the good. It was like she could see her baby girl coming back to life before her very eyes, after so long living in the slumber she had been trapped in. It was seeing the love that Emily had for Alison, and visa versa, that gave Pam the peace of mind to know that Emily would be ok, because there was no way Emily wouldn't fight through whatever she needed to get back to her girl. With that thought safely in her mind, she finally allowed herself to join the two women in sleep.

'Goooood Morning Pennsylvania! This is Bob, coming atcha with all the hits, ready to get you up and at'em this fine Tuesday morning'  
'Ugh' Alison scoffed at the radio, rolling her eyes as she hit the power button on the radio. She was exhausted, having barely slept and she really just wanted to be back with Emily.  
'Not a fan of Tuesdays? Or just the radio in general?' Jason asked from the driver's seat, amusement written across his face.  
'They're all too chirpy and happy' Alison complained, as she scowled at the now muted radio. In truth, Alison just felt jittery and anxious about seeing the woman who gave birth to her, and then left her for dead just a few years later.  
'Missing Emily already?' Jason asked sincerely, though Alison giggled and rolled her eyes at herself.  
'You must think I'm pathetic. We've only been on the road for like, and hour and a half, and I'm already pining after her' Alison stated in a semi-joking tone. Jason saw past the self-deprecating comment though, it was a typical Alison move for when she didn't want to talk about her feelings.  
'I don't think so' Jason replied with a shrug. 'You're girl's in the hospital, it's natural that you want to be by her side' he said in a serious voice. 'How's she doing, anyway?'

Alison let out a heavy breath and bit down on the corner of her mouth as she thought about what the doctor had said the night before.  
'She's having a lot of nightmares. The doctor said that it could be because of the medication that she's on, but it could also be because of the trauma. She mumbles a lot, but they're saying it's not a clear indication that her speech will be ok. They're not really saying much of anything, other than to wait and see' Alison grumbled. She wanted answers; she wanted to know that Emily would be ok. She wanted Emily to wake up.  
'It sucks, Al. I'm sorry' Jason replied as his eyes flickered between his sister and the road, unsure of what else he could say.  
'How's Aria doing?' Alison asked, wanting to take her mind off her own girlfriend for a few minutes. 'She was pretty shook up last night.'  
'Yeah, she's still pretty shaken, but she's dealing. I left her with Spencer and Hanna. Caleb and Toby are watching over them all' Jason answered. Alison hadn't spoken to the girls since she had gone into Emily's room. The rest of the group hadn't been allowed to go in, but they had sent their love and well wishes with Alison. That was the last she heard from any of them, and if she was honest, she hadn't really thought about them all too much until now.  
'That's good. They should stick together' Alison answer numbly.

They continued their drive in a peaceful quietness, small chatter passing back and forth between them every now and again. It took longer than either of them thought it would before they talked about the woman they were going to see.  
'So what are you going to say to Mom?' Jason asked as they crossed the Pennsylvania state line.  
'Honestly, I have no idea' Alison admitted. She was feeling nervous about seeing the woman who had abandoned her all those years ago. Jessica DiLaurentis had never exactly been a reliable person when it came to her children, and Alison didn't want to get her hopes up that she had changed in that respect. 'I guess I'm just hoping that she can offer some sort of support, maybe give a character statement about Dad that could hopefully help back up my own statement'  
'And if she can't help?' Jason asked uneasily, because neither of them wanted to think about the worst case scenario.  
'Well, I figure if I'm going down for his murder, then I should probably let good old Mommy dearest know that I'm alive and rotting in a cell' Alison replied caustically. It was then that she realised that she still very much resented her Mom for the way she had been in the past.

'You know I could just walk into the station and tell them I did it' Jason offered seriously. 'I mean, it's not exactly a lie. I did finish him off'  
'No, you've done enough for me already, Jason' Alison argued. There was no way she was letting her brother go to prison or her crime, even if he did technically finish the job.  
'I've not done nearly enough for you, Ali. You and Emily deserve that happy ending you've been dreaming about, and I want to give that to you' Jason countered.  
'If Emily were here, she'd be agreeing with me. You're not going to jail. Hopefully neither of us will be' Alison stated with a finality to her voice. She had firmly put her foot down and Jason knew better to argue with her.  
'You and Emily really are two of a kind, Al' Jason said wistfully, his eyes flitting from the road to his sister in the passenger seat. 'And I've gotta say, Emily was always cute but man did she glow up. I mean, who'd have thought sweet and innocent Emily Fields would turn into such a hottie?' He gushed with a smirk. If there was anything that could be said for Alison, it was that she had good taste in women, atleast in Jason's eyes.

'Sweet and innocent? Please, Emily has never been sweet and innocent' Alison blurted out with a smirk. Her eyes widened and her cheeks turned red as soon as she realised what she has said.  
'Damn, I knew there was a reason you wouldn't let me stay with you two' Jason chuckled in amusement. Normally this would be completely unchartered territory for them, but it was nice seeing Alison so carefree and smiling, despite the situation. 'I mean, it's probably for the best. Aria's not exactly innocent either' he added with a sex-drunk smile, as he thought about his own girlfriend.  
'Ew, I do not need that imagery, thank you' Alison replied, her lips puckered up in disgust. Alison turned and looked out of the window. She watched the world flit passed and she thought about Emily. She had always been there, even when they were apart, and Alison didn't want to lose her. She couldn't imagine a world where Emily's positivity didn't make even the darkest of days shine just that little bit brighter. Even when they were kids, Emily seemed to have this magical ability to turn everything right in the world. Alison smiled as she remembered a time when they were both just Nine years old…

 _'Ali, come look!' Emily called from a few feet away. Alison looked over to see that the other girl was crouched down beside a tree, her long dark curls falling over her face as she looked down at something on the ground. Alison rushed over and peered curiously around the other girl. There in the long weeds that surrounded the tree, was a tiny baby bird.  
'I think he fell out of his nest' Emily said sadly, her lips pouting as she looked down at the dainty thing.  
'Maybe' Alison replied dumbly. She had never had an interest in birds, or nature of any kind really, but seeing Emily so fascinated with the bird, made Alison want to have an interest. 'Do you think we could put him back?' Alison suggested, as Emily reached out to stroke the bird with one finger. The bird flinched away and Emily pulled her hand back instantly.  
'I think he's hurt' she replied glumly. 'We need to help him'  
'Ok, we can ask my Mom for help. She'll know what to do' Alison stated confidently. Emily wanted to help the bird, so Alison would make sure that was possible._

 _Alison reached over and delicately scooped the tiny bird into her hands. She made sure to be as careful as possible with him as she carried him from the back yard, into her house. Emily followed diligently. She wasn't certain that Alison's Mom was the best person to help in this situation, but she trusted Alison, and if the blonde girl said that it was the right thing to do, then that was what they would do.  
'Mom, we found a bird and he's hurt' Alison announced when they reached the sitting room, not caring to take note of the four other women who were sat there, their perfectly manicured pinkies sticking out as they held their tiny tea cups. Emily always thought it was odd, the way they held those cups in the exact same way. Jessica DiLaurentis' friends acted like robots, it was creepy.  
'Take that thing outside, Alison. Birds do not belong in the house' Jessica snapped. Alison's eyes widened and her cheeks flamed in embarrassment. She wanted to help Emily, she had been so confident, and her Mother had shattered her bravado in seconds. She wanted to cry._

 _Emily barely blinked at the older_ _DiLaurentis_ _' outburst. She was more focused on the hurt expression on Alison's face to even be fazed by Jessica's shouting. She grabbed Alison by the elbow and led her towards the front door of the house._  
 _'C'mon Ali, we can take the bird to my house. My Dad will help us fix him' she proposed, trying her best to appease Alison. The other girl simply nodded and allowed Emily to lead her out of the DiLaurentis house, down the street and into the Fields' home. Emily's Dad was the polar opposite of Alison's Mom, which Ali didn't expect. She wasn't all that familiar with Wayne Fields, since he spent most of his time away. Emily said he was fighting for their country, but didn't really know much more to elaborate on, and when Alison asked her own Dad what that meant, he had simply said 'it means he's a schmuck'. Alison never repeated that to Emily, of course._

 _Alison realized that day, that Wayne Fields was a good man. He didn't shout at his daughter, he didn't even frown or grumble about the bird that had been unceremoniously dumped on the kitchen counter. No. He picked the little bird up and inspected it closely.  
'My guess is a broken wing' he uttered with the same sad expression that Emily had had when she found the little creature. 'We'll take it to the vet, get it checked over. How's that sound kiddo?' he directed his question to Emily, who smiled widely. And so that was what they did. Wayne grabbed a small box and filled it with some shredded newspaper for the bird, and he took them to the vet. When the vet offered to keep the bird in until it was recovered, it was Emily's tearful eyes that had Wayne offering to rehabilitate the bird himself. So, with instructions from the vet, Wayne helped the girls to build a nest for the bird in the Garage. Together, the three of them looked after the baby bird until it was completely healed a few weeks later, when Wayne returned it to its nest in the DiLaurentis backyard._

 _That was the first time Alison ever felt jealous of Emily's family, and the first time she knew that Emily was something special._

Nine year old Alison was much more naive about the world, though that changed very quickly. Now, twenty five year old Alison knew about the disappointments that the world offered. She knew that things weren't always sunshine and rainbows, and it was her previous disappointments in life that had her sitting in a coffee shop in Harrisburg at 9am on a Tuesday morning, bracing herself for the inevitable shoe to drop. Things regarding her Mom had gone too smoothly so far, and with everything else that had gone wrong lately, this was bound to be equally as catastrophic. Alison knew that she couldn't expect anything from the person who had let her down the most in the world. This was the woman who had taught Alison from a young age, that she couldn't depend on anyone but herself.  
'Alison?'

'Hello Mother'


	30. Roots Before Branches

'Hello Mother'  
'Oh my goodness, I can't believe it's really you!' Jessica breathed as she pulled Alison in for a tight hug. Alison allowed the physical contact, but her stubborn desire to prove a point and not get her hopes up too much stopped her from reciprocating. Her arms stayed limp in her lap as the older DiLaurentis woman's arms wound tightly around her shoulders. Jason silently sat beside his sister and side eyed their Mother, his own issues with the woman muted for the time being. This wasn't his time to right the wrongs their Mother had caused him, but he knew that one day his own time would come.  
'My baby girl. You've really come back to me' Jessica continued to gush. She pulled back from the hug and delicately cupped Alison's cheeks in her hands as she looked upon her daughter, who had grown into the most beautiful of women. Finally, Jessica unhanded the younger blonde and turned to her son, who was still silently watching the greeting sceptically.

'And Jason, it's nice to see you too, dear' Jessica added.  
'Mom' Jason greeted civilly, nodding his head in acknowledgement as his hands remained wrapped around his mug.  
'I can't tell you how sorry I am that I left you there, Alison' Jessica continued, as she slid into the booth seat on the opposite side of the table to her children. Alison wanted to snipe at her mother and tell her that 'maybe she should have thought about her children before she went swanning off to god knows where,', but she bit her tongue and swallowed the poison that was so desperately trying to seep out. .  
'Yeah, you said that on the phone last night' was the curt response that she finally settled with. It wasn't the most pleasant, but it certainly could have been worse. Jessica's eyes dulled a little in the knowledge that this wasn't going to be easy, but her face remained stoic and optimistic.

'Well, I really hope that we can fix things. That we can build a relationship again' the older woman tried again, only to drop a second later when Alison's cool response came.

'We never had a relationship to begin with' the younger woman stated coldly, her eyes steeled over and her stony expression never faltering. 'I mean, let's face it. You gave birth to me, but you were never exactly Mother of the year. I had a better relationship with my friends' Moms than I ever had with you' Alison finished. She had let that toxic DiLaurentis personality take over, and though a part of her regretted it the instant she saw her Mom's face drop, the part of her that was hurting inside from the years of neglect she had faced, the abuse and finally the fear of what was going to happen to Emily, told her that this was exactly how she should be acting. This was what she needed to heal, and unfortunately, someone had to be on the other end of her lethal words.  
'Well...it's never too late to start' Jessica replied shakily, trying so hard to hide her shock. This wasn't the daughter she knew. This wasn't the Alison she had raised. But, when she considered it, she wasn't surprised, and maybe the fact that Alison wasn't dutifully running back to her was a good thing. It showed strength and resilience, as much as it might hurt to be so willfully rejected.

Jason remained quiet, diligently watching the battle of wills between the two most stubborn women he had ever known. It made for great entertainment, even if the circumstances were dire.  
'I'm not here to build a relationship, Mom. I'm here for your help' Alison stated bluntly. She didn't want to play happy families, at least not right away. She wasn't ready to openly admit that maybe a part of her wanted a relationship with her Mom. She had seen the way Pam Fields had rushed to New York in an instant to sit vigil by Emily's bedside, and she couldn't mistake the small amount of jealousy she had within her that her own Mom would never do that. Sure, she had Eleanor and Pam, who were great mother figures to her, but Alison knew it wasn't the same. Still, she was pushing that need down, through stubbornness and painful memories, and was standing her ground.  
'Whatever you need, my dear. What can I help with?' Jessica asked sincerely. She knew that she had to earn Alison's trust back, that she had broken many years ago. She had left behind a small, scared little girl, and before her sat a strong, defiant young woman, who wasn't prepared to put herself in line to be hurt again.

'The Police know that I'm alive and they're going to question me. I want to tell them everything. Everything Dad did, why I never came back. Everything. But, if I do that, then I have to tell them the reason he disappeared' Alison began to explain. She looked to Jason, silently asking permission to explain the full truth. Jason eyed Jessica, looking her up and down before looking back to Alison and nodding. With her brother's permission to not leave out any details, Alison told Jessica all about the night she turned up at the family home and shot her Father. How Jason arrived not long after and finished the job. How he discovered that Alison was alive and tracked her down, before sitting back in the shadows for years, waiting for her to look for him. She told Jessica about how she ended up in therapy and on countless medications for her mental illness, caused by her Father's treatment. She told her Mother about how she found someone who loved her for who she was in spite of, and because of, everything she had been through and who she was, and how she couldn't bare to leave that person now.

At this news, Alison saw the hint of a smile on Jessica's face and blue eyes flicked down to a sparkling ring. She had spotted it the instant she walked in, but decidedly kept quiet about the bling that lit up the room.  
'Emily' Jessica almost whispered, a knowing tone to her voice. Alison's lips parted in surprise and she couldn't hide the shock on her face. Her mother wasn't around when she and Emily finally got together all those years ago, and Alison had never opened up about the confusing feelings she was having for many years before that. There was no possible way that Jessica DiLaurentis could have known this information.  
'How did you-?'  
'Oh please, Alison you've been in love with that girl since you were in Brownies' Jessica replied nonchalantly, rolling her eyes in a way that was unmistakably similar to her daughters. 'I may not have been a perfect Mother, but I noticed the way you lit up whenever she was around. You were always so different with her. She was always your favourite' Jessica continued, her smile growing and her eyes twinkling.

Alison looked on, her head tilted to the side as she took in her Mother's words, and she couldn't stop the hint of a smile from growing. She never knew that her Mom had noticed how she was around Emily. She didn't think her Mom ever noticed anything at all, if she was honest.  
'Tell me, does she make you happy?' Jessica asked curiously. She could see that Emily was her way in to Alison's heart, and while some may have thought she was acting on that knowledge in a malicious or selfish way, and rightfully so, she couldn't have been more genuine with her wonder. She wanted to know her daughter and the woman she had become. She wanted to earn her trust back and have that relationship that they had never had. She wanted to make up for the mistakes she made all those years ago, and if talking about Emily was the way to do that, then Jessica would talk about the brunette woman her daughter loved, until she knew every god damn thing about her.

'The happiest' Alison replied simply, a small smile on her face as she thought about Emily.  
'And that's all I've ever wanted for you' Jessica replied wistfully. A moment passed by where the two women just sat looking at each other. Alison felt a tug towards this woman, that she had never felt before and it seemed that Jessica felt it too because a second later she straightened up and her tone grew more serious.  
'Whatever you need me to do, I'll do it. I know that nothing I can ever do will make up for what you've been through, but I am willing to do whatever it takes to ensure that you are happy from here on out' Alison could tell that her Mother was being genuine, and she could see how the years had gotten to Jessica, it was all in her eyes. The pain, the sorrow, the regret. It was all there, and Alison wondered whether this could be the changing of their relationship. When she was younger, Alison had always wished that she could be one of those girls who was close with their Mom. That she had that relationship with her Mother where they could grab lunch together and talk on the phone every night. Hell, she had points where she'd have paid to even have a meaningful conversation with the woman. Yet, she never thought she'd see the day that she would be sitting in front of her Mother, and feeling grateful for her existence.  
'Thank you' Alison whispered.

Emily groaned. For the first time in almost 24 hours, she felt the pain she was in. Her body _hurt_. She swallowed dryly, wincing at the painful bob in her throat and the pounding in her head. She forced her eyes open, the bright light of the room stinging her irises, causing her eyelids to close again.  
'Mmph...Ali?' she called out, her voice cracking. Hands were soothing her in an instant. She felt fingers raking through her hair and a thumb swiping delicately across her cheek. They were hands that Emily would know anywhere, though they weren't the ones she expected.  
'Mom?' she called, as she opened her eyes a sliver. Just enough to see her Mother sitting diligently by her bedside, humming a tune that she had sung to Emily when she was a baby.  
'I'm here, sweetheart' Pam replied with a soft smile, relieved to see Emily finally waking up, and more importantly, talking. The Doctors had been hopeful that her speech wouldn't be impaired, but they couldn't be certain.  
'What happened?' Emily managed to ask after a few more seconds, her eyes blinking as they adjusted to the harsh lighting bouncing off of the crisp, white walls. She briefly wondered who in their right minds thought that bright lights and white walls were a good combination for sick patients.

'You were in an accident. You don't remember?' Pam's soft voice eased her out of her thoughts. The feeling of long fingers raking soothingly through her hair was comforting to her, though the squint on her face and the grimace of pain in her eyes didn't exactly portray that feeling.  
'I remember...lights. And pain. A lot of pain' Emily uttered throatily. She tried desperately to remember what had happened, but all she could focus on was the pain that she felt, even through the morphine and countless other drugs that were currently running through her system.  
'Hmm, yeah. You had a small run in with a car' Pam said with a pained expression.  
'A car? Well, that was stupid. Clearly I should have paid more attention to my Mother when she taught me the correct ways to cross the street' Emily stated sarcastically, rolling her eyes at herself despite the throbbing in her skull.

'Maybe' Pam chuckled, happy to see that Emily at least had her sense of humour in-tact.  
'Where's Ali?' Came the question that Pam knew wasn't far away. Her smile dropped a little and was replaced by a sympathetic look. Her fingers continued running through dark locks and her other hand gingerly took Emily's own, looping delicately around her fingers.  
'She had a few errands to run. She'll be back soon' Pam answered vaguely, hoping that it would be enough to stop Emily from worrying.  
'She's ok though?'  
'She's fine, dear. I'll send her a message and let her know you're awake' Pam reassured her daughter with a timid smile. 'She'll be sorry she missed it' she added, as she let go of Emily and grabbed for her phone.

 _'She's awake'_

Across the Borough, Spencer was battling with the lead Detective on the case, who was being very persistent on speaking with Alison.  
'I understand the urgency, Detective, but with all due respect, my client has been considered dead for 10 years. Surely another day wont hurt' Spencer argued firmly, with a sarcasm that wasn't missed and definitely wasn't appreciated.  
'With all due respect, Miss Hastings, your client has committed pseudocide. Now, while both you and I know that isn't technically a crime, we need to know the facts surrounding why Miss DiLaurentis felt the need to fake her own death' Detective Tanner pressed with a curt tone. 'We just have a few questions to ask her, like why is it that I can't seem to find or get a hold of Mr DiLaurentis? He seems to have vanished off the face of the planet. Why, if she feared for her life, did Miss DiLaurentis simply not seek out police protection? And why now, of all times, has she come forward with her story, yet she seems so incredibly reluctant to give an official statement. They're all curious questions, don't you think?' Tanned continued, her beady eyes peering at Spencer. She wouldn't deny that it made her feel uncomfortable.

'They are indeed, and I'm sure my client will be happy to answer them all for you, just as soon as her Fiancée is out of the hospital' Spencer replied dumbly, as she swallowed hard.  
'I understand Miss DiLaurentis' pain and I sympathise for what she is going through right now, but I have to have her in to give her statement by the end of the day. My hands are tied on this, Miss Hastings. I'm sorry' Detective Tanner stated again, though there was admittedly, a little more sympathy in her voice than before. Spencer didn't believe for one second that this woman was actually able to possess human emotion though. She came across as cold and robotic, and ready to find some sort of wrong doing in order to put Alison behind bars.  
'What about Ezra Fitz? What's the situation with him?' Spencer asked, changing the subject to bide herself some time. Plus, she wanted to know every detail of what was happening with him. There was no way she was letting him slip through the cracks.  
'What about him?'  
'Well, have you charged him? Or what's the story?' Spencer pushed again, causing Tanner's eyebrows to rise at the younger woman's gall.  
'The story with Ezra Fitzgerald is none of your concern. You have given your statement and we have taken the evidence you have produced for us. Unless you have anything else to add, there is nothing more I can tell you.' And just like that, Spencer was shut out.

When she had received the message from Pam telling her that Emily had woken, Alison practically dragged Jason and her Mom back to the car. She was insistent on Jessica coming back to New York with them. And so, here they were, two hours after she had received the text from Pam, half way back to Queens, and to Emily. Jessica and Jason were sitting in the front seats, and had been making small talk the entire way. Jason was still pretty unreceptive, but kept the conversation in order to give Alison some time to rest in the back seat. She had managed to sleep for around 40 minutes, the events of the past few days finally catching up to her, but she was woken promptly by a blaring tune singing from her phone. She blinked groggily and grabbed the device from where it sat snugly between her thighs. When she looked at the screen, her eyes widened.  
'Shit' she mumbled, as she hit snooze on the reminder alert.

'What is it Alison? What's wrong?' Jessica asked, instantly alert at the fact that there was something wrong with her daughter, while Jason peered at her curiously through the rear-view mirror.  
'Nothing, I just was supposed to have an appointment with the bank today. I forgot all about it' she replied with a sigh as she made a mental note to reschedule that appointment.  
'Is everything ok? You don't need money, do you?' Jessica asked curiously.  
'No, well... Emily just lost her job and we're waiting for her settlement to come through, so we're pretty stuck for cash right now. But, Elinor is selling the Diner and I wanted to buy it from her. I was going to meet with the bank to see if I could get a business loan or a mortgage or something' Alison rambled, as she rubbed her forehead. There were so many things going around her mind right now, but in the forefront of everything, was Emily.  
'Well, how much do you need?' Jessica asked with a straight face.  
'$50,000' Alison replied numbly, as she checked her phone for anymore updates on Emily. Jason let out a low whistle at the amount, but Jessica remained stoic and uninterested.  
'That's a lot of money' Jessica simply said, causing Alison to no in agreement.  
'Yeah, and that's at a discount. The place is worth way more than that. Or atleast it was, before Ezra Fitz decided to drive a freaking car through the front of the place' She added, as she shut off her phone screen and shoved the device back between her legs, where she would feel the vibration of any incoming text messages or calls.  
'Well, I'm sure you'll figure something out' Jessica said simply, effectively ending the conversation.

Emily woke from what seemed like the eighth nap she had taken already that day. She looked up at the clock on the wall, seeing that it was already 4pm.  
'Hey honey, how are you feeling?' Pam asked from her bedside, looking up over a book that she had her nose buried in to.  
'Like I got hit by a car' Emily replied with a wince as she attempted to adjust herself. Pam hit a button on the bed to raise the head a little so that Emily was in a semi-sitting position.  
'Did Ali get back from running her errands yet?' Emily asked, the same question she had been asking every time she had woken to find that her Fiancée was not by her side.  
'Not yet, sweetie' Pam replied with a sympathetic smile, causing Emily to let out a heavy huff. She groaned as her lungs ached at the motion, the bruising around her chest and ribs were seriously beginning to affect her breathing.

'Do you need me to call the nurse?' Pam asked, her voice filled with worry at the sight of Emily in pain and struggling for breath.  
'No, just give me a second' Emily groaned as she clutched her side.  
At that moment the door opened, causing Emily to look up in hope that it was Alison, however as if they had heard her Mother's words, it was her Nurse, Karen. She was friendly and attempted to make the odd joke here and there. Emily liked her for the most part.  
'Well, Sleeping Beauty finally decided to wake up' she stated with a smile as she made her way in to the room. 'How we feeling, hon?'  
'I'm ok' Emily lied, her teeth gritting as she pushed through the burning pain in her chest.  
'She's struggling to breathe' Pam answered, side eyeing her daughter.  
'Hmm, let me have a listen' Karen replied as she made her way over. She listened to Emily's chest with a stethoscope, getting Emily to take in a few semi-deep breathes.  
'Everything sounds ok, it could just be the swelling and bruising developing inside of the chest cavity, and some pain from the broken ribs. I am going to get you some anti-inflammatories and an ice pack. Hang in there, my dear. I won't be long' Karen said with a smile.  
'Thanks Karen' Emily replied with a sad smile, her mind wondering where the hell Alison was.

At that moment, Alison was hopping out of the car at the Hospital, ready to see her girl. She had dropped her Mom off at the apartment she and Emily shared, telling the older woman to make herself at home. Now, with Jason in tow, she was on her way to see the one person she wanted to see more than anything. She was almost at the doors when her phone jolted to life. Alison answered instantly, seeing spencer's name lighting up her screen.  
'Spencer?'  
'Ali, I really hope you're back in the city. The cops want to talk to you, and they want to talk to you now' Spencer ranted breathily, and Alison could tell the other woman was panicking.  
'Yeah, I just got back to the hospital. I want to go see Em, then I'm all yours' Alison replied softly, as she walked into the front of the building.  
'Ok, I can give you thirty minutes, then we should get going. I'm sorry, I know it's not long, but Tanner is like a dog with a bone, and she's ready to start digging'  
'Ok' Alison breathed, before saying goodbye and hanging up the phone. Thirty minutes didn't give her anywhere near long enough, but it was better than nothing.

As she made her way through the hospital halls, Alison composed herself the best she could. She lost all of that the second she walked in and saw those beautiful brown eyes that she loved so much, blinking back at her, and Alison had to stop herself from throwing herself at Emily.  
'I thought I lost you' Alison gushed, as she sat on the edge of the bed, one hand cupping Emily's cheek and the other holding Emily's hand.  
'It'd take more than a car to take me from you' Emily replied smoothly, her grimace of pain disguised thinly as a smile.  
'You're so stupid. Why would you throw yourself in front of the car like that?' Alison thought out loud. It was something she had been silently asking Emily since it happened, because she still couldn't get the image of Emily pushing her out of the way, and taking the hit herself, out of her mind.  
'For you, Ali. You know I'd do anything for you' Emily replied earnestly, her eyes wide. 'I don't know why I feel like I need to protect you all the time though. You're the strongest woman I know'

'You've always protected me, Em. It's what you do' Alison whispered lovingly, as she looked down at her broken and battered Fiancée, and thanked every god in existence, that she was still alive. 'God, I love you'  
'I love you too' Emily replied with a more genuine smile, which was matched by Alison, who leaned down to tenderly kiss the tanned woman. 'Where have you been all day?' Emily asked, as they parted, and instantly the atmosphere changed.  
'I had to go out of town for a few hours' Came Alison's vague reply. She knew the question would come, and she knew she would have to tell Emily everything. She had just hoped that they would have more time, but as she glanced up at the clock, she knew their time was rapidly running out.  
'Why? What's out of town?' Was Emily's inevitable question.  
'My Mom' Alison replied with a small shrug. 'The Police want to talk to me. They know everything, Spencer didn't have a choice but to tell them. So, I have to go talk to them. I just wanted to see my Mom before I go'

Emily peered her eyes at Alison, trying to work out what she was missing. There was more to the story, and judging by how cagey Alison was being, it wasn't good.  
'Ali...what aren't you telling me?' Emily's soft question made Alison let go of her Fiancée and rub her palms over her face as she let out a deep breath. Spencer's call had put her on edge before, and she was feeling less confident about getting back to Emily than ever before.  
'Em...there's a good chance that I'm going to have to tell them about my Dad. They already know why I disappeared for so long, and at some point, they're going to try to get in touch with my Dad, if they already haven't. When they can't find him and realise that he's disappeared, they're going to start asking questions' Alison explained, her heart thudding in her chest and her stomach twisting. Emily's face dropped for a millisecond, before she put on a brave face again.  
'Talk to Spencer. She'll help you'  
'I know she will. Don't worry, Emily. I will do everything I can to come back to you' Alison promised, as she pressed a kiss to Emily's knuckles on her uninjured hand.

A calmness passed them for a moment. Alison inspected Emily's hand, as if she was trying to memorise every last inch. Emily watched silently. She could see the confliction and the fear in Alison, and she hated that she couldn't do anything to help the situation.  
'What can I do? I want to help you' Alison's head shot up at Emily's words.  
'You can stay here and rest. Listen to your Doctors and your Mom. Don't do anything stupid' She replied firmly. She knew what Emily was like, and she knew well that the foolish woman before her would drag her injured body from the bed in order to do whatever Alison needed.  
'Ali-'  
'I mean it, Em' Alison interrupted harshly, her face and tone more serious than they had ever been. 'I can't go through this with a clear head if I'm thinking about you trying to climb through a window to escape here and getting hit by another car or something, while you're trying to get to me. You have to promise me you'll stay here and take care of yourself'  
'But-'  
'No buts, Em'

'Ali, it took us so long to finally get here...' Emily half whispered, her voice sad and so full of emotion, because she wanted to be there by Alison's side. She promised to help her and support her, and she felt as though she was going back on that promise.  
'I know' Alison breathed, as she brought her hand up to cup Emily's face again, her thumb brushing lovingly over her warm cheek. 'And it's not over. I promise you, I will always come back to you' She promised, as she looked on so tenderly, her eyes filling with adoration and pure, unadulterated love for the woman before her. The moment was broken a few seconds later though, by her phone vibrating in her pocket. Without taking her eyes off of Emily, she answered it, knowing who would be on the other end.  
'Ok, I'm coming' She mumbled, before hanging up. Her facial expression turned apologetic, as she pouted. 'That was Spencer'  
'You have to go' Emily finished, knowingly and equally as sad. It was too soon, neither of them were ready to say goodbye.  
'Yeah' Alison managed to squeak out, as she swallowed the lump in her throat. She leaned forward and pressed a firm kiss to Emily's lips, letting it linger, before parting slightly and allowing their foreheads to rest together.  
'Love you'  
'Love you too'

Leaving the room this time was a million times harder than the last. Alison contemplated chaining herself to Emily's bedside and refusing to go anywhere until her Fiancée was better, but she knew that she needed to keep a brave face and deal with things. She could see how hard it was for Emily, being stuck in the bed and unable to help, and Alison knew that if she showed any sign of fear or hesitation, Emily would have discharged herself, or broken out of the hospital, in order to be by her side. By the time she reached Spencer outside, Alison was a wreck. Her eyes stung with unshed tears and she was barely holding it together.  
'Ali, are you-?' Spencer began to question, seeing how evidently unstable Alison was feeling.  
'Don't. I can't talk right now' Alison explained, as she shook her head in order to try to fight back some of her emotions. Spencer instantly understood, probably more than anyone else would, because they were programmed so similarly. The brunette nodded once and lead the way to Toby and his waiting cruiser.

They rode in the back seats, and Alison's stomach churned the entire way, while Spencer jabbered beside her about tactics and plans.  
'Just go in, tell them why you left town and claim ignorance on where your Father is' Spencer instructed. 'The last time you saw him, was the day he left you in the woods, ok? Any other questions, just say you don't recall'  
'Ok' was the only response Alison could muster, and in what seemed like no time at all, she found herself climbing from the back seat of the car and up the stairs to the Precinct. She felt like she wanted to vomit in her mouth as she made her way through the doors. She looked around as she entered the lobby and felt her heart sink when she didn't see the person she had been hoping to be there. Her Mother had promised to be there, but Alison wasn't overly surprised to see that she had been let down once again, though her disappointment was very apparent. She pushed back her emotions as she made her way towards the desk, where a Desk Sergeant sat with a less than friendly expression on their face.  
'My name is Alison DiLaurentis. I believe you've been looking for me'


	31. Dont Mind Me

Fingers tapped against the hard surface of the table and the sound of the clock ticking was loud in her ears, matching the beat of her drumming heart. Brown, beady eyes peered at her, as though they were trying to puncture her thoughts. Alison didn't trust Detective Tanner one bit. She could see the coldness in the woman's eyes. The blackness of her heart. Alison wanted to jump up and scream at the woman, who was barraging her with multiple questions, each one stupider and more insinuating than the next. It was Spencer's hand, that was resting firmly on her knee, that was keeping her in place, though the Lawyer was evidently struggling to keep her own composure, according to the way she was now gripping her pen. Alison had watched Spencer's grip tighten with each question, from 'Tell me, what it was like living on the streets of New York City as a vulnerable teenager?' to 'So, your Father attacked you. Could this have been provoked in anyway?'. At that question, Spencer almost snapped the pen in half. Alison was sure she heard the plastic casing crack a little under the pressure.

Alison had just finished telling Tanner about why she was so terrified to come back to Rosewood. Why she was certain her Father would come for her, if he found out she was still alive. Tanner, despite hearing Alison's harrowing words, remained stoic and stoney face, and as sarcastic and accusatory as ever.  
'So, what made you finally come forward? If you were so scared of your Father finding you, why come out to your friends?' Came the next pressing question. She was clearly pushing Alison to reveal something incriminatory, and Alison was treading lightly, so as not to reveal the truth about her Father.  
'I didn't. I mean, I didn't come to them. They came to me' She answered honestly. Her voice remained soft and innocent, though it wasn't fooling Tanner the slightest bit.  
'Well, how lucky of them. In New York City of all places, to just bump in to you on the street. Some might call it a miracle' Tanner's sarcasm was through the roof, and Spencer had to fight the urge to stab her in the eye with her Biro.  
'Yes' Alison replied, not liking the accusatory tone in Detective Tanner's voice.

Detective Tanner scribbled something down on the paper in front of her and nodded her head, as though she was in thought, before she looked up at Alison again.  
'So what about your Father? Where is he now?' She asked, folding her fingers on the table.  
'I don't know. I haven't seen him since he used me as a punching bag and left me in the woods like an unwanted kitten' Alison scoffed. Her face reddened in embarrassment and her stomach twisted at the memory, and for a second she wished her Father was alive so that she could shoot him all over again for what he did to her.  
'So you've had no contact with him at all?'  
'No' Alison's voice held a finality that would make anyone else drop the subject. Tanner, however, saw it as a challenge. She wanted to break the young woman in front of her. She wanted to squeeze her until she spilled all her secrets.

'It's just, it's interesting because Mr DiLaurentis hasn't been seen in almost 8 years' Tanner pressed again, as she opened a fairly thick file and flicked to a page. Alison glanced at it and spotted a picture of her Father, along with a great deal of text. 'There are no phone records, no bank transactions, no forwarding address, since your Family home was sold. It's almost as if he, poof. Just vanished in to thin air' Tanner continued, making a gesture with her hand. Her eyes were wide and her voice was full of mystery, as though she were genuinely amazed and in awe o this 'magic trick'. She was playing with them, and both Spencer and Alison knew it. Alison gulped hard and Spencer's fingers dug harder into Alison's thigh.  
'And you wouldn't have any idea at all where he could be?'

'I already told you I don't. The man tried to kill me. Don't you think if I knew where he was, I'd tell you?' Alison snapped. She was tired of the interrogation. She was tired of dodging the slight accusations that Tanner was firing at her, and she wanted to get back to the sanctity of Emily's hospital room.  
'Well, I'll leave you to have a little think on it. See if you can't come up with any idea at all where he might be. I have a few things I need to take care of, and then I will be back' Tanner stated as she closed the file and piled her papers, before picking them up and standing. Her chair scraped across the floor as she pushed it back.

'You can't keep my client here. Unless you're arresting her, I demand that you let her go' Spencer practically yelled, as she stood too, her palms flat on the cool surface of the table.  
'Hush now, Miss Hastings. I wont be long' Tanner replied in a sickly sweet tone, as though she were comforting an upset child. 'I'm simply giving Alison the opportunity to think about anything she might remember regarding her Father, in the hopes that we can seek justice for her. I'm trying to help her' She added, giving Alison a pointed look, before she turned and left the room. The door shut with a clash and Spencer dropped back into her seat. Alison went to open her mouth, but before she could saw anything, Spencer hushed her. She scribbled on a piece of paper and slid it across the desk towards Alison.

' _Two-way glass. Don't speak_ '

Alison looked from the paper to Spencer, who shifted her head towards the large mirror that sat on the wall in front of them. Alison narrowed her eyes at the mirror before letting out a deep breath and her shoulder sunk. She bit down on the corner of her mouth as she looked down at her thumb. She wondered how Emily and prayed that she would get back to her. Her eyes started to tear up at the thought that Tanner would try to imprison her for _some_ thing, even if it wasn't murder. The older woman seemed pretty determined anyway.

Before her thoughts could get too dark, however, the mirror lit up from behind, showing another room on the other side. Alison and Spencer both gasped as they realised they were now looking into another interrogation room, where Jessica DiLaurentis sat at a table, identical to theirs.  
'What!?' Alison breathed out, as she stood from her chair, almost making the item topple over with the force.  
'Did you know she was here?' Spencer asked, as she stood to match Alison.  
'Do I look like I knew she was here?' Alison replied sarcastically, her tension from Tanner's interrogation still fresh. Spencer brushed it off though, and their eyes remained fixed on the other room. They watched as Detective Tanner wanted in and sat herself at the table across from Jessice, her back now positioned to Alison and Spencer.  
'Mrs DiLaurentis, I hear you have something you wished to talk to me about?' Tanner asked, her voice still holding that same curiosity that it had when she was interviewing Alison.  
'Yes, I want to talk to you about my Ex-Husband. Kenneth DiLaurentis' Jessica answered, her voice calm and confident.  
'What is she doing?' Alison whispered in a voice that was so quiet and soft, Spencer barely heard it.

'Really? That's interesting, because we've been looking for him. We can't seem to find any trace of him for over eight years, and your daughter cannot seem to give us any indication on where he might have gone. Maybe you can enlighten me?' Jessica let out a regretful sigh at this question and bowed her head a little in what appeared to be, shame. She nodded softly, before answering.  
'Alison wouldn't know. I haven't told her what I did. I was ashamed' Jessica started, her eyes filled with tears as she looked back up. 'When I first heard that she might be alive, I went to visit Ken. I asked him what happened the night that Alison disappeared. He was drunk, as usual. He gloated about what he did to her. How he beat her to within an inch of her life, and then left her in the woods' Jessica paused and wiped away a tear that had fallen. 'He seemed to think she was really dead, so naturally I believed that she was. I got angry that he could do that to her. She was our baby girl, and he was supposed to protect her, not murder her! I felt guilty that I'd left my daughter with this monster, so I pulled out my hand gun and I shot him. Then I took him to the woods and left him there to die, just like he left our daughter. I booked a one way plane ticket to London on his Credit Card to cover my tracks and I asked a family friend to sell the house for me. I've recently discovered that Alison is alive and well, but I don't regret what I did. That bastard deserved everything he got'

Alison and Spencer were stunned by the performance. If they didn't know any better, they would have believed the story. It made perfect sense. A man kills his daughter, so his Ex-Wife kills him in revenge. Nobody would doubt that.  
'So you walked in to this Police Station in Queens, to tell us of a murder that took place in Rosewood, Pennsylvania over eight years ago? Why?' Tanner probed. Jessica sat up a little straighter and barely blinked before she answered the question.  
'I heard you were questioning my daughter. I didn't want there to be any crossed wires' She replied with the same confidence as before. Tanner nodded at the answer, her eyes narrowing a little as though she was trying to decide whether she believed Mrs DiLaurentis' statement.

The mirror light shut off, causing the pane of glass to become opaque again. Alison began to pace frantically, her fingers running roughly through her hair.  
'Why would she do that?'  
'To make it up to you' Spencer answered surely, as she watched Alison pace back and forth. Blue eyes swam in thick tears. She had just got her mother back, and deep down she had hoped that they would fix things. She had hoped that they could have the relationship they had never had before, but that seemed unlikely now. Alison continued to pace, until the door opened again and Tanner walked into the room, causing her to halt in place.  
'Miss DiLaurentis, you're free to go' Tanner said, almost regretfully.  
'What?' Alison almost yelped, her head snapping to attention to look at the older woman.  
'We have no reason to hold you any longer. You can go home' Tanner repeated in a somewhat softer tone than before.  
'But, what about my father?' Alison asked in mild confusion. She had been so prepared to fight for her freedom, she couldn't quite believe that she was simply being told she could walk out of the precinct freely.

'What about him? We needed information on his whereabouts, you couldn't give us that information and right at the time you arrived, your Mother showed up and confessed to his murder. We have your statement and we have hers. Both stories seem to match up and explain the missing details, so you're free to go home. It's another modern day miracle. Seems your life is full of them, Alison. You should be grateful' Her eyes twinkled, telling Alison and Spencer that she was pretty sure she knew exactly what happened, but with no evidence and a pretty convincing confession from Alison's mother stating otherwise, Detective Tanner was choosing to take the easier route in this investigation.  
'Can I see her?' Alison asked, after a beat. She needed to get an explanation. She wanted to hear from her Mother why she did this for her.  
'I think it's best you don't. Go home, Alison'  
'But-'

'She did this for you, Ali. Don't ask her to explain' Spencer interrupted. She knew how incredibly lucky Alison was to have gotten off scot free, whether her Mother had had to pay the price or not. She wasn't about to jeopardise that. Spencer gripped Alison's shoulders and led her from the room. As they were walking out, Jessica was escorted out of the room beside them by an officer. Her wrists were cuffed and the cop had a good hold of her, but she didn't look scared or even regretful. Jessice turned to look at Alison, who still had unshed tears in her eyes. Jessica smiled and bowed her head slightly. A silent sign to tell Alison that she shouldn't be sad. That she was sorry. That this was her way of making it up to her. Alison gulped as a single tear fell down her cheek.  
'Come on. Let's get back to Em' She mumbled.

Emily stared at the clock. It had been three hours since Alison left, and she couldn't stop the nagging feeling in her stomach, that told her she wouldn't be seeing her Fiancée for a long time. Not outside of a prison visiting room, anyway. Emily sighed in both frustration, she had nothing to take her mind off of her worry, and it was beginning to eat her up. She had been alone for past hour, having sent her reluctant Mother to her apartment to rest up. She knew that she wouldn't be much company while she was waiting for news on Alison, though she was kind of regretting that thought process now, because she had no distractions. She had been impatiently looking at her phone every thirty seconds, waiting for a phone call from Spencer to update her, though the device had remained radio silent all afternoon. She wondered whether it was worth calling Spencer herself, but quickly realised that the other woman wouldn't answer anyway, if they were still in with the Police.

In that moment, the door opened and Emily looked up to see Alison and Spencer stroll in with a mixture of shock and confusion on their faces.  
'You're free?' Emily blurted unceremoniously.  
'Uh, yeah' Alison mumbled, nodding her head a little. She should have been ecstatic, but Emily could see something in her eyes, she just couldn't work out what it was.  
'What happened?' She asked softly, as Alison perched herself on the side of the bed and took Emily's hand, while Spencer hovered in the middle of the room. Emily took Alison's hand in her own and squeezed it tight, knowing that something had happened at the Precinct, though she had no idea what.  
'Jessica DiLaurentis happened' Spencer finally answered in a stiff voice, as though she were still processing the previous events.  
'What?'  
'She went to Tanner and told her that she killed my Father. They arrested her and let me go' Alison explained, looking down at Emily with a semi-sad smile.

'Ali, I- I don't know what to say, I mean...' Emily stuttered. She had run several scenarios through her mind about what would happen with Alison, each one as crazy and unlikely as the next, but this hadn't even flickered through her mind.  
'Alison, she did it for you so that you could live your life. She wanted to make up for leaving you. Don't feel guilty for this' Spencer said sternly, yet warmly. She could see that it was eating Alison up, and a part of her could understand why, but she also knew that Jessica DiLaurentis did what she wanted, when she wanted. If she was willing to send herself to prison for a crime she didn't commit, then it was for a reason, and nobody could have stopped it from happening.  
'I don't, I just... I thought I'd get a shot at building a relationship with her, that's all' Alison admitted sheepishly, as she looked down at hers and Emily's conjoined hands. She felt stupid for wanting a relationship with the woman who abandoned her, yet she couldn't fight that yearning need for her Mother.

'You can still do that' Emily offered in a reassuring tone. 'Ok, it might be in a Prison, but you can still keep in touch with her. Write to her, visit her. She's not gone, and honestly, if her being there keeps you with me then I'm all for it' she added truthfully, causing Alison to chuckle softly. She looked down at the brunette and delicately stoked her cheek with the backs of her fingers.  
'It's over, Ali. We can finally stop looking over our shoulders, and we can move on with our lives' Emily added with a genuine smile, and Alison could see her Fiancée's eyes light up with the possibilities.  
'Just as soon as we get you out of this place, that is' Alison stated with a nod, as she looked around the room.  
'Yeah. About that, Spence, have you heard anything about Ezra?' Emily asked, finally pulling her focus away from the beautiful blonde beside her, and looked at Spencer.  
'No, the last I heard he was in custody. Toby can't seem to find out anything else and Tanner wasn't giving up any information' Spencer's tone was regretful and held a hint of frustration. Both Alison and Emily knew that their friend was like a dog with a bone when she it came to injustice and making people pay, and she definitely wouldn't let this go. 'Don't worry though, I'll will work pro-bono with whoever I have to work with in order to make sure that he goes down for a very long time. He won't be a threat to anyone anymore'

'Thanks' Alison muttered with a grateful smile on her lips. Emily nodded and took a deep breath, wincing in pain as her chest expanded. What with the bruising to her chest and the broken ribs she had received, amongst the other injuries she had gotten in the accident, her pain was slowly becoming unbearable as her pain meds wore off. She was trying to put a brave face on, not wanting to cause any trouble for anyone, but that was growing increasingly difficult when every breath she took made her feel as though she was being stabbed in the lungs.  
'You ok?; Alison instantly asked, not missing the flinch, despite Emily's best efforts to play it off as a smile.  
'I'm fine, just a little sore' Emily replied nonchalantly, trying to downplay her pain, though Alison could see right through the lie. Her eyes narrowed as she attempted to get the truth out of the other woman, but Spencer interrupted, not being able to read Emily as well as Alison could.  
'Well, you got hit by a three-thousand-pound car, I'd be shocked if you weren't' Spencer joked, causing Emily to chuckle, before wincing again while Alison looked down with a disapproving glare.

'That's it, I'm going to find the nurse and get you some more pain meds' Alison announced, standing up from the bed.  
'Ali, I'm fine' Emily protested, gripping Alison's hand with all the strength she had in the one hand she could use; the other was lying limp on the bed, wrapped in bandages and a temporary plaster cast.  
'Emily, you are not fine! Look at yourself, you're clearly in pain. Stop being so god damn stubborn and take something to help' Alison snapped, her eyes flashing dangerously, daring Emily to argue back. Emily looked away from the glare and bit her tongue, causing Alison give her a smug, victorious look before she went to find the nurse.

The nurse had just left the room, having given Emily a healthy dose of pain medication and anti-inflammatories, when Pam arrived with a change of clothes for Alison, since the blonde had been in the same outfit since they arrived at the hospital. Caleb had brought a t-shirt and jeans that belonged to Hanna, in order for her to change out of the bloodied clothes she was in. Alison hadn't even thought about being in her own clothes again, but when she was handed the outfit, she had to admit, she was in much need of a shower and some fresh clothes. Even better than the clothes, though, was the several coffees and cream cheese bagels that Pam had picked up on her way to the hospital. Spencer almost tore the older woman's arm off for the caffeinated beverage, while Alison's stomach grumbled at the sight of the bagels. Even Emily, who had had little to no appetite since she first woke, was looking forward to eating a little.

'Oh, Alison. I almost forgot' Pam exclaimed, as she settled into a seat with her own coffee and bagel. Alison looked up to see the older Fields pulling an envelope from her purse.  
'I found this on the kitchen counter' Pam stated as she handed the envelope over. Alison took it warily, her eyebrows furrowing when she recognised the loopy writing that spelled out her name. She balanced her bagel on her knee and licked the cream cheese from her thumb before ripping it open and unfolding the premium quality paper, that she knew had come from Emily's printer. Her heart raced as she read the words on the sheet.

 _'Mr Darling Alison,_  
 _By now, you probably already know what I had planned, and if things went the way I hope then I'm sitting in a cell right now, and you're free. You're probably a little confused right now and maybe curious as to why I did this, but I think really the answer is simple._  
 _I know that I haven't been a good Mother to you. Truth be told, I never developed that maternal instinct that most women have. I didn't know how to show you how much I love you. When I left you, I didn't look_ _back._ _I'd like to say I felt guilty for leaving you and your Brother, but at the time I was merely thinking of myself. It wasn't until I heard you had disappeared, that I felt that guilt finally_ _sink_ _in. I knew I should have done more for you. So, when you came back to me after so long, I made a promise to you, and to myself, that I would never let you come to any harm again. I promised to make things right for you, and if going to Prison is what it takes, then that's a small price to pay._  
 _I know that you have plans, and I want you to fulfill them. I want you to live a full and happy life. I have enclosed a cheque. Please use the money to do as your heart desires._  
 _Love always,_  
 _Your Mother'_

The tears rolled down Alison's cheeks, staining the page and causing the ink to run in spots. She could see the already dried smears, where her Mother had clearly cried while writing the letter. It was a foreign concept, the thought of her Mom crying. Jessica was never one to show emotion, but the thought that she had while writing her final goodbye, humanised her in a lot of ways that Alison had never deemed possible. Alison palmed at her cheeks, rubbing away the moisture and cleared her throat, before she took the slip of paper from behind the letter. Her eyes widened at the figure that was written on the cheque.

'What is it?' Emily asked from the bed, reminding Alison that she wasn't alone in the room. She felt Spencer peer over her shoulder, and the taller brunette's eyes widened comically.  
'Holy shit!' she swore, something which was a very rare occurrence for the usually demure Lawyer.  
'What?' Emily asked again, with much less patience than before.  
'She left us a cheque for $100,000' Alison finally replied, her eyes slowly moving from the large figure on the tiny slip, and up to Emily's shocked ones. 'She's paying for our future, baby' Alison said wistfully. Her heart soared at the fact that her Mother had actually come through for her. Jessica had saved her from prison and had given her a nice little nest egg to boot. Her Mom had done the things that Alison had never expected form the woman. She cared.


	32. Your Song

It had been seven long weeks since the accident, and Spring was finally in the air. The icy, cold snap that had taken over the city weeks prior was long gone, and the city had been given a new, fresher lease of life. It was something that Alison and Emily both related to, because their lives felt very much the same. Gone was the darkness that had lingered over them both, and instead, they were filled with sunshine and fluffy clouds. They felt rejuvenated and ready to go on with their lives, even with the changes they had to make in life.

Having spent 3 and a half weeks in the hospital, undergoing two surgeries on her wrist, many x-rays on her ribs and an unmentionable amount of MRI scans on her brain, Emily was finally released to go home. Along with the instructions to take it easy, she was also given a small holdall of medication for a variety of different things, from the pain in her wrist and ribs, to more long term pills that were to manage the seizures she had started having due to her brain injury, and Alison was intent to keep her on a strict regime. The Epilepsy was scary, and the few seizures that she had had after her surgery had been terrifying, because they were unexpected. They had been much more manageable since she had been taking her medication, but with the odd seizure here and there, she was far from over them and it terrified Alison.

Amongst Emily's health issues, Alison also had the whole situation with her Mom paying on her mind. After her Mom took the wrap for her, Alison sat on the letter from Jessica for a few days, before finally writing a lengthy response thanking her for everything she had done for her and Emily. Alison then cashed the cheque from Jessica, into a newly set up joint bank account for her and Emily. She used the money to put in a offer on the Diner, which had just finished construction work to repair the front of the building, along with a few minor refurbishments. Alison ended up paying a little over the asking price, which Elinor was ecstatic about. The older woman was eager to sell up, and she was grateful that it was Alison who would be taking over the family run establishment. It meant that her beloved business would be in safe hands.

Emily was shocked when Alison announced that she had bought the Diner, but she was delighted none-the-less. With her Physiotherapy career down the drain, she had grown a fondness for the small establishment, and the fact that it would be theirs to own and run gave Emily something to work towards. She had ambition again and it felt amazing to have that positivity course through her, after so many weeks, prior to her accident, of feeling down and depressed about her unemployment. Along with the Diner, Emily and Alison also put a deposit down for a two bedroom apartment just two blocks away from their new business. After a quick discussion, they had agreed that the tiny studio apartment was far too small for the both of them, and they wanted to be somewhere that was closer to work. It was barely a discussion, and when the apartment popped up while Emily was casually looking online one evening, they both fell in love with it.

So, with the Diner's refurbishments and repairs just about finished, the grand re-opening was the following Saturday and Emily and Alison had yet to pack up and move. This was mostly due to the fact that Emily was still recovering from her injuries and Alison was hovering over her every time she so much as lifted a finger, but also due to the fact that the brunette was still in a plaster cast and the Doctors were still telling her to take it easy.

'I've got it' Alison raced across the living area and grabbed a box from Emily's grasp, before the brunette could even lift it an inch from the ground.  
'Ali, I had it' Emily huffed in frustration, as she straightened back up and blew a stray hair from her face.  
'You shouldn't be lifting anything' Alison replied firmly, as she lifted the, admittedly light, box onto the table.  
'It wasn't even heavy' Emily protested, rolling her eyes as she turned to stuff clothes into another box beside her. Alison had been overbearing, and it would have driven her crazy had she not found it adorable at times.  
'I just don't want you putting any strain on yourself' Alison cooed, as she turned to face Emily with an apologetic pout.  
'Listen to your Doctor, Emily' Spencer chimed in from the Kitchen, where she was currently wrapping glasses with newspaper and placing them delicately into a plastic crate. 'You don't want to piss her off, she might smother you with a pillow or 'accidentally' switch out your pain meds for some Ambien' Spencer added with a smirk, looking up to catch a glare from Alison, who didn't find Emily's wellbeing the least bit amusing.

'We're back' Hanna announced as she and Aria entered the apartment with more boxes, tape and bubble wrap.  
'How do you have so much crap in this shoebox of an apartment anyway?' Hanna complained as she dumped the boxes on the ground and began helping Emily to clear out the closet.  
'Because she's a hoarder' Alison answered as she taped up a box filled with bathroom supplies and toiletries, before lifting it onto the Kitchen counter.  
'I- I just have a lot of stuff. Besides, Ali lives with me too. It's not just my things' Emily defended herself, as she haphazardly folded a pair of jeans, the best she could with her bulky cast taking up her entire left hand, and tossed them into the box at her feet.  
'I've gotta go with Ali, Em. I mean, when I helped you move out of your Moms house I found a Teen Vogue magazine from 2008' Aria piped up from the kitchen, where she was helping Spencer to carefully wrap all of the crockery and glassware.

'That was Hanna's' Emily argued with a sheepish expression, while her cheeks tinged a little pink, because she was in fact a huge hoarder.  
'Hey, I only left it for you because you was drooling over the girl on the front cover' Hanna exclaimed in amusement.  
'Who was it?' Alison asked curiously, turning to face Hanna and Emily, who was ducking her head ub embarrassment.  
'Lauren Conrad' Hanna stated with a smirk, as she eyed Emily.  
'Oh really?' Alison asked with a smirk that matched Hanna's. 'That was Em's first girl crush' she added not-so-casually.  
'Well, that makes sense' Aria replied, while Spencer chuckled quietly beside her.  
'Damn Em, I knew you had a type but have you ever dipped your toe in the brunette pool?' Hanna asked with an eye roll. 'I mean, other than Riley, who was just, yikes' she rambled, making a face as she finished. Alison and Emily froze at the mention of the younger woman, who had caused far more drama in their lives than either of them cared to think about.  
Alison gulped and looked over at Spencer, who was awkwardly trying to avoid Alison's eye contact. Hanna finally noticed the awkwardness after a moment or so.  
'Sorry, I-'  
'It's fine' Alison cut her off and an uncomfortable silence filled the room. Alison looked at Spencer again and sucked in her lips before finally speaking. 'Is Toby still keeping tabs on her?' She asked.  
'Yeah. She's doing ok and she's keeping out of trouble. She has a job, an apartment. She's really getting herself on track' Spencer replied sincerely. After Toby and Spencer had run Riley out of town, Alison had asked Toby to keep an eye on her, just for peace of mind. She didn't want Riley back in her life, but she couldn't deny that she had cared about the girl. She would never have been able to forgive herself if something happened to Riley, despite what the brunette had put her through.  
'Good' Alison replied simply. She looked to Emily for a second, who was avoiding eye contact. She hated Riley for what she had turned her in to, and she still felt the bubbling rage whenever the girl was mentioned.

Whilst Aria and Spencer continued to clear the kitchen, and Alison focused on the living space of the apartment, Hanna and Emily continued their efforts in de-cluttering the closet. It was proving to be quite a task, due to the years' worth of junk that had accumulated in the built in space, and while Emily was determined to get things done, Hanna was quickly growing bored. She began snooping around and came across a tattered shoebox. Naturally, she thought that maybe Emily had been hiding a pair of vintage Gucci pumps or something, so she grabbed the box from the top shelf and made out into the living room with it. She unceremoniously dumped the box onto the coffee table, flopped her body down onto the couch and ripped the lid off.  
'What the hell is this?' she asked, as she looked down at the scrap papers, photographs and tiny trinkets that littered the insides. Alison looked up with a cocked eyebrow and smiled when she saw the memory box that once belonged to Emily, but now belonged to them both. Their entire relationship sat inside the bursting seams of the flimsy cardboard and they had spent many a night together, just looking through the contents and reminiscing each and every memory they shared. Some old, and some more recent.

'It's our memory box' Emily finally answered, as she sat beside Hanna. Spencer and Aria quickly gave up on their packaging attempts and joined the other three women. They began to look through the contents, listening to the stories that Emily and Alison were more than happy to share. Some of them even involved the other three women before them. They laughed at the group pictures, with Hanna commenting on every outfit and hairstyle, 'I can't believe I thought that layered tank tops was a good look!'. They giggled at the notes that had been passed amongst them during their 8th grade English class, the only class they shared.  
'God, my handwriting was awful! How could you even understand what I was writing?' Spencer asked in disgust, as she squinted at her scrawl, which in comparison to the other four girls, was relatively neat. Hanna and Aria were giggling over a fairly suggestive love letter that a fifteen year old Alison had written to Emily, when Emily pulled out a more recent picture that she had no idea was even in the box.

'You put this in here?' Emily asked, snatching up the picture of herself during Hanna's shoot. The very shoot that had caused Alison to refuse to speak to Hanna for quite some time. Her cheeks flushed as she looked at the picture of herself in the black, sheer bodysuit.  
'It's a memory box, Em...' Alison stated, as if it were obvious. She took the picture from Emily's hand and allowed her eyes to roam the sheet. She felt a tightness pull between her legs at the sight of it. God, her girl was sexy.  
'So you want to remember the time you was so pissed at me, you smacked me upside the head twice?' Hanna asked with an unimpressed tone.  
'No, I want to remember what we did while Emily was wearing that bodysuit' Alison replied with a seductive smirk, her eyes raking over Emily's body as the brunette blushed furiously. Their physical activity had been limited for far too long, due to Emily's health restrictions and while Alison wanted to stick to the Doctor's rules, she was struggling to not attack Emily at every given opportunity. Especially since her Fiancée didn't seem to be as worried about her physical limitations as Alison was.

'Jeez, I don't think I'll ever forget it' Hanna shuddered, as she recalled the noises that came from the apartment below her that night. 'That's one thing I will not miss once you're gone'  
'Never stopped you from climbing in to bed with us though, did it' Alison smarted back, her eyebrow raised challengingly.  
'That was once time!' Hanna protested.  
'It was twice, and you tried to fondle Ali both times' Emily chimed in. 'I'd have been offended if I didn't find it so damn hilarious'  
'I'd have paid to see Alison's reaction to that' Spencer stated with a giggle.  
'It went a little something like this' Hanna stated as she suddenly lurched across and pinched Alison's boob. Alison's hands instantly slapped at Hanna's arm as she screamed.  
'Hanna! I swear to god, I will cut your fucking hands off!''  
Emily, Spencer and Aria fell about laughing, while Hanna had a satisfied grin on her face and Alison just looked horrified.

The rest of the afternoon went smoothly and quickly. The five women managed to get the entire apartment packed up and ready to me moved the following day. They spent their final hour together in the apartment gorging on Chinese take out, before Spencer went back to her apartment and Aria left to go to Jason's apartment, which she had recently moved into with him. Alison wasn't sure how the petite woman could stomach living there, after seeing the mess it was in after the whole Riley debacle, but Aria seemed content. She and Jason had re-decorated the entire apartment, using the money that Jessica had left for him. He had been surprised to receive the letter and cheque, because he really hadn't expected it. Jessica had apologised to him profusely for the way she treated him, especially after Alison had 'died', but he wasn't quite ready to forgive her. While a part of him felt that a cheque was his Mother's way of buying his forgiveness, he could see how sorry the older woman truly was, and he had assured her that maybe in time, he might just be ready to rekindle some sort of relationship with her.

Spencer, though sad to see Aria leave her, was slightly happy that she and Toby finally had their own space. Hanna, however was a different story entirely. She had been somewhat down since Emily and Alison had announced that they were moving to Williamsburg in order to be closer to the diner, and while she hadn't said anything as such, Emily knew that her closest friend was upset that for the first time ever, they wouldn't be living so close to each other. Even in Rosewood, Hanna's house was only down the street. This was the furthest they had ever been apart, and Emily would admit that she was feeling it too.

Alison was cleaning away the Chinese take out cartons, when Emily flopped down on the couch next to the pouting blonde.  
'What's up?' she asked, as she gingerly rested her cast in her lap, while her other hand landed on Hanna's thigh.  
'Nothing' Hanna mumbled, her eyes locking on the muted tv screen, where a muted episode of Friends was playing.  
'Hanna...' Emily pushed, as she rolled her head across the back of the couch in the blonde's direction.  
'I just...this is the first time since High School that we're not going to be practically living together' Hanna sighed out sadly.  
'Hanna, it's not like we're moving to another country. We're literally across the River' Emily pointed out with a raised eyebrow. She understood the sadness, she was feeling it too, but she knew that she needed to downplay this move, or both of them would end up crying.

'It's not the same though' Hanna mumbled, looking away from Emily. Her brow furrowed as she tried to keep her emotions in check. She knew that it was silly, and she was probably acting a little crazy, but she really couldn't remember a time when Emily wasn't by her side. This move might not seem like a big deal to most, but to Hanna, she felt as though someone was ripping her best friend away from her.  
'I know, but it'll be fine. So, we'll have to make more of an effort to actually hang out, but it doesn't mean we're not going to see each other. I mean, you're coming for Breakfast at the Diner on Saturday' Emily stated positively. 'And you're designing our Wedding dresses, so you know that we'll be seeing you for that too' she added with a smile. Her heart swelled with warmth as she thought about the fact that she and Alison would be getting married in the not so distant future, and Emily couldn't wait to tie the knot.  
'It's not the same though'  
'I know. But, things change Han. Doesn't mean we have to. I love you. That's one thing that definitely doesn't change' Emily replied, her smile never faltering.  
'I love you too, Em. I'm just going to miss you' Hanna said finally, as Emily pulled her in for a tight hug. Alison watched from the kitchen, keeping her distance so as not to intrude on their moment together. She knew that this was always going to be hard on Hanna, and Emily too, though the brunette would never show it.

It was two more hours before Hanna finally left. Emily sighed as she leaned into Alison's body, the blonde automatically wrapping her arms round her Fiancée. They were lying on the couch, Emily resting on Alison's body, and it was the most content either of them had felt all day.  
'She's going to really struggle with this' Emily muttered against Alison's shoulder  
'She'll be fine, babe' Alison stated, placing a kiss to the top of Emily's head, that was resting against her chest.  
'I know, I just...I worry about her. I don't want her to think that I'm just leaving her' Emily thought aloud. It was one of things Alison loved so much about Emily, was her ability to just say her thoughts freely, and know that she would never judge.  
'I know. You just have to make an effort to do lunch with her. Maybe you should start sleeping with your Boss. She might let you take extra long lunches' Alison stated suggestively.  
'Oh really? And what would she have me do in return?' Emily asked, her voice low and seductive as she lifted herself up slightly and balanced on one arm above Alison so they were face to face, her cast resting between them against Alison's stomach.  
'Maybe this' Alison replied softly as she kissed Emily lightly.  
'What about this?' Emily moved her mouth to just below Alison's jaw, causing the blonde to tip her head back and let out a heavy breath.

Their kisses grew quickly, and they got completely lost in each other. Clothes left their bodies steadily, forming small piles around the practically empty living area and their breathing was laboured and heavy. Emily's lips were welded to Alison's throat, when the blonde stopped them, realising that Emily was much more out of breath than she was and she still hadn't been given the all clear from the doctor in regards to physical activity.  
'Em' Alison moaned, as she pulled away, causing Emily to let out a frustrated breath.  
'I'm fine, Ali. Please 'she practically begged, her doe eyes pleading with Alison to forget her health issues for just a moment and let them just be together. Emily was so sick of her wrist and her ribs and her bloody brain injury. She wanted to just have a moment where she didn't need to think about that.

Alison's eyes flickered up and down Emily's face a few times, reading her expression and trying to decide what was best, before she finally gave in and nodded softly. Emily wasted no time before she pressed their lips together in a hungry kiss, rested her body gingerly against Alison's and pushed her good hand beneath the barrier of Alison's panties. Alison moaned as nimble fingers worked their way through slick folds, before her own hand snuck between them and matched Emily's pace. Their soft moans and whispered curse words filled their air between them, and both women came together. They brought each other down from their highs as they exchanged soft kisses and lingering touches. Both women were breathing hard, but Emily's shallow breaths were making her feel dizzy and Alison was instantly concerned.  
'You ok?' She asked in a panicked tone, while silently berating herself for giving in when Emily clearly still wasn't ready for such activity, as mild and unadventurous as it was.  
'Yeah, I just…need a minute' Emily panted, resting her forehead against Alison's.

Alison's hands cupped Emily's cheeks, and her eyes remained locked onto Emily's face for any signs of discomfort. She breathed loudly, so that Emily could follow and regulate her own breathing, and just as she was considering calling the doctor, Emily began to follow along. It wasn't long after that she was met with a love drunk, cheeky smile and love-drunk eyes.  
'See, I told you. I'm fine' Emily stated cockily, though Alison was far from amused.  
'With our luck, I can't be too careful' Alison replied, as she ran her fingers through long dark hair, brushing it back from Emily's face. 'God, how did I get so lucky'  
'We're both lucky' Emily mumbled lovingly. She could sense Alison's seriousness, and she knew that they were about to have a conversation that she could feel brewing for the past few weeks. Alison had been reluctant to talk about how the accident had affected her, instead choosing to focus on Emily's injuries. Emily could tell though, that Alison had been hit just as hard, though more emotionally than physically.

'You almost died because of me, Em' Alison murmured. Her fingers traced Emily's jaw, before resting by her mouth. 'I've caused you so much pain'  
'I guess they say love hurts for a reason' Emily replied light-heartedly, before kissing the fingers that hovered by her lips.  
'Emily' Alison chastised, her face serious and solemn.  
'Hey, don't think about all that. Just think about this, here. Just you and me' Emily's thumb brushed over the engagement ring sitting on Alison's finger. 'I would go through everything ten times over, if it brought me back here to you' She added, causing Alison to smile, her heart swelling with the love she feels for the girl lying on top of her. They'd been through their issues, more than most people go through in a lifetime. But Alison knew that she felt the same. She too would go through every shitty moment again, for a lifetime of happiness with Emily.

It had been 6 months since Alison DiLaurentis had come back into Emily's life. Half a year. 182 Days. 4380 Hours. 262,800 minutes. It's not quite as melodic as an entire year, and nobody ever wrote a song about it, but to Emily it was the best 6 months of her life, measured in late nights and early mornings, spent with the woman she loved more than anything in the world. It was six months of much needed healing and finding stability, entangled with spine tingling touches and whispered 'I love you's'. Emily had spent almost a decade being haunted by Alison DiLaurentis. Now she got to spend several by her side. No more ghosts, no more skeletons, just them.


	33. Epilogue

The warm September sun beamed through the windscreen as Emily drove down the suburban roads of Rosewood. She took in the familiarity of the route that she had not driven in the longest time. This particular road brought back a lot of memories. Memories of pain and sadness, and the urge to numb all the bad thoughts and feelings that plagued her. The feeling of being haunted by a certain blonde haired beauty, who at this moment was fast asleep with her head against the window. Emily looked down at the two, white gold rings that sat on a perfectly manicured finger. The hand in mention was resting on Alison's rounded stomach, and Emily couldn't stop the smile from creeping up her face, as she looked at her own left hand on the steering wheel. It had been two glorious years since they said their vows.

 _It was seven months after everything had happened, that Alison and Emily got married. Seven months of planning and Hanna driving them mad while designing their wedding dresses. But finally, they were here. Standing at the top of the church with their friends and few family members there with them._

 _'Emily, I don't know if you know this about me, but I tend to talk a lot' Alison started her vows, causing the room to chuckle. 'But, in all of the words I have ever said in my life, none will be as important or as meaningful as the ones I am about to say to you right now. People are expecting me to promise you the standard. To love and to cherish for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. But that's not what I'm going to promise you today, because I've been doing that for a long time already. We've already gone through the good and the bad, and I've loved you all the more for every second of it. I've already cherished you through_ _richer_ _and poorer, and I'm talking way beyond financially. We've already cared for each other through various different types of sickness and have embraced the days that we have been blessed with health. So, I'm not promising you I'll do that. What I_ am _promising you is loyalty and trust, love and respect, and a life of never looking over our shoulders. I promise to make your life the best possible version it can be, because you do that every day for me already.'_

Emily had almost sobbed at Alison's words, yet they made her happier than she ever felt possible. Alison had spent every day of the past two years showing her just how much she meant those words. Emily felt more loved and cherished, and respected than any other time in her life. She loved that she got to spend every day with Alison, even if it was at the Diner, which had picked up a lot of business since they took over. So much so that they had ended up hiring help in the form of Hanna, who had grown tired of dressing women when she wanted to spend more time on her own designs. Emily offered her a job working in the diner, with the promise that she could work on her fashion line as often as she wanted. It worked in both their favours. It meant that Alison and Emily got time off to spend together, and Hanna was able to pay her bills as well as build her fashion empire. A year on, Hanna's fashion blog was picking up interest of a few smaller fashion sites, and she was dropping significantly less food on customers, much to Alison's pleasure. It was thanks to her that Emily and Alison had been able to get away for a week, though Emily had had to do a lot of sweet talking in order to encourage Alison to leave Hanna in charge during that time. Alison begrudgingly gave in, though she did insist on Hanna checking in every two hours, just to put her mind at rest.

They had been in Rosewood for three days, having come home to spend some time with her Mom. Alison still felt somewhat awkward in her former home town. It was filled with too many bad memories for her liking, and the small town's population tended to stare at her, since everyone knew her story. It was because of this that they never tended to spend more than a few days in Rosewood at a time. Emily had really wanted to spend some time with her Mom though, so Alison agreed to suck it up for a while, knowing that she would have to just get used to it eventually. Still, when Emily had offered the chance to get out of town for the day, Alison had jumped at the chance. Now, after a day of visiting some of their old haunts and reminiscing in happier memories from their childhood, Emily had one more stop in mind. Something she had wanted to share with Alison for a long time, but hadn't had the courage to bring herself to visit. Until now.

Emily pulled the car into the gravel-covered parking lot. The small area was only big enough to hold a few cars, though it had always seemed bigger to her before now. She guessed that was because she was younger and had never experienced life outside of Rosewood. Living in New York had definitely changed her perspective on things. Emily pulled the car in to park and let out a breath as she took in the old-timey building. She had never noticed before, just how much it looked like an old converted barn. Again, she figured it was a perspective thing. Emily shut off the engine and turned to her sleeping beauty in the passenger seat.  
'Ali' she cooed, as she leaned over the centre console, her fingers gingerly brushing back the golden bangs that had fallen across Alison's eyes.  
'Mhhm' Alison mumbled, not quite stirring from her slumber.  
'Baby, wake up'  
Alison prised her eyes open, blinking a few times as she adjusted to the sun that was peering in from behind the building they were parked in front of.  
'Where are we?' Alison asked groggily, as she took in the unfamiliar surroundings.  
'We're on the last stop of our trip' Emily explained with a smile. 'Come'

Emily climbed from the car and rounded the vehicle to help Alison out. She gave her a quick look to make sure she was ok, before leading her towards the slightly run-down building, her hand situated on the small of Alison's back as she led her inside. It was something that Alison had come to love. The protective nature with which Emily treated her these days, not that she wasn't always protective. Nowadays it was just magnified infinitely. Emily handled Alison with the utmost care and was grossly attentive.  
'What is this place?' Alison asked, as they entered the door to the dingy looking pub. Alison looked around with a hint of scrutiny. This wasn't the worst pub or bar she'd ever been to, but it was definitely up there. Her nose wrinkled as she took in the sight of the various middle-aged men who looked as though they had been sat in their stools for so long, they had become one with their wooden counterparts.  
'This is the pub I told you about'

'You mean...?'  
'Uh-uh' Emily hummed in confirmation as she led Alison towards the bar. She helped Alison to sit on a stool, before she situated herself next to her Wife. 'You ok?'  
'Yes, Emily. I'm fine. Relax' Alison chuckled, as she rested her hand on her stomach.

Emily drummed her fingers on the bar as she looked around. The place hadn't changed in years. She hoped that was a sign that one particular feature of the pub remained. Sure enough, after only a few minutes, a now slightly fatter and most definitely hairier man than she remembered, came wandering from the back.  
'What can I get you ladies?' he mumbled, as he barely looked at the two women who were sitting at the bar.  
'Uh, I was just wondering if you'd ever heard the story about the barman who hooked up with a woman who had tits like water melons and legs that went on for miles, and then discovered that she had a huge, fat pair of hairy balls' Emily asked casually, though her smile grew as the man looked up at her, that cheeky glint that she was so accustomed to evident in his eyes. Alison looked at Emily with wide eyes, having no idea about this particular story, but the man's face was filled with recognition immediately.  
'Emily!?'  
'Hey, Dan' Emily greeted with a smile, as she leaned on to her elbows.

Dan looked her up and down for a moment, shaking his head.  
'What on Earth brings you back here after all these years?'  
'Well, I was in the neighbourhood, figured I'd pay a visit to an old friend'  
'You came all this way for me?'  
'No, I figured Earl still hung around here. Where is that hobo anyway?' Emily asked, as she looked around for Dan's sidekick. She didn't recognise any faces in the pub though. 'Did he finally clean up his act and go home to his Wife?'  
'Uh...actually... Earl passed away a few years back' Dan replied sheepishly, as he scratched the back of his neck. It was still a sore subject for him. Earl was one of his best friends, and definitely his best customer.  
'Shit, I'm sorry'  
'Well, I mean the guy drunk double his body weight in liquor and beer every day. His liver was gonna give in eventually' Dan brushed off Emily's pitying look and concern.

'Still...'

So, uh...what can I get you? The usual?' Dan changed the subject. He grabbed for a Whisky tumbler and reached across for the bottle of Bourbon that Emily used to be fond of.  
'Oh, no, I uh...I don't drink anymore' Emily replied with a tight lipped smile. She felt her shoulders tense just the tiniest bit, until Alison's hand slid across her thigh and squeezed softly, causing her to relax again.  
'Wow, so not only did you get smoking hot, but you decided to keep your drinking strictly underage? Impressive!' Dan smirked. 'Speaking of, I'm still pissed at you, but you're hot so I'll forgive you. If you finally give the Dan Man what he's always wanted' He added, as he wiggled his eyebrows. Emily chuckled at the old joke, though Alison frowned. She wanted to jump across the bar just for this guy suggesting anything sexual about her Wife, but Emily's fingers discreetly threading through hers kept her in place.

'As charming of an offer as that is, you still have a P where I'd rather see a V, aaand I'm taken' Emily stated happily, her smile growing. She felt Alison calm beside her, knowing that she was going to finally be introduced as 'the wife'.  
'By...?'  
'Me' Alison piped up, raising an eyebrow as she smirked at Emily and Dan's chatter. Emily wiggled her left hand in front of Dan, the dim light catching her ring and causing it to shine.  
'You got married? No shit! How did you pin her down?' Dan asked Alison with an amused look.  
'It took a long time and a lot of patience' Alison stated fondly, as she looked lovingly at Emily.  
'You remember that time I came here and wanted to drink myself into a stupor, because it was my friend's funeral?' Emily asked, her tone growing solemn at that particular memory. It was one of the last she had of this place.  
'Yeah'  
'Well, it turns out that friend wasn't as gone as I thought' she stated, as she glanced at Alison.  
'No shit!' Dan laughed. 'Now you gotta tell me the whole story. Let me get you a drink first'  
'Uh, just water for me'  
'And me' Alison piped up.  
'Two waters coming up'

Dan served them their waters and Emily and Alison told their whole story from start to finish, embellishing some parts and skipping over some of the parts that he definitely did not need to know.  
'Fuck dude, that shit belongs in a Reese Witherspoon movie or something!' Dan exclaimed, as he leaned against the bar, a stunned expression on his face. He had some pretty wild stories, but none compared to the one he had just heard.  
'Hallmark are writing the script as we speak' Alison quipped as she sipped on her water.  
'She's funny. I like her' Dan chuckled to Emily.  
'Yeah, I kind of like her too' Emily replied with a love drunk smile, as she looked at Alison beside her, their fingers still intertwined on her thigh.  
'You better like me. I'm gonna be pushing a freaking bowling ball out of me in the next couple of months' Alison joked. Dan looked at her with a confused look before recognition registered across his face.  
'Wait, you're...'  
'Ali's pregnant' Emily confirmed with a smile, as Alison stood a little to show the top of her blossoming baby bump.  
'Oh my god! Congrats!' He replied with a stunned expression. 'That's amazing!'

They stayed at the pub for a little while, just catching up with Dan. Alison laughed at all the stories Dan recalled, of the times Emily would spend at the bar, and Emily thanked him for his support when she needed it. When they left a few hours later, hand in hand, Alison was exhausted yet she had a lazy smile on her face.  
'What?' Emily asked as she slipped in to the car beside her pregnant Wife.  
'Nothing'  
'So why are you looking at me like a creeper?' Emily asked, as she stuck the key in the ignition, but turned to face the blonde.  
'I'm not, I'm just...admiring you. You've come so far, Em. I'm so, so proud of the woman you've become, and I cannot wait to start this next chapter. Us as parents...'

'Poor kid' Emily joked, causing Alison to smile in amusement.  
'I'm serious. You're amazing, Emily' Alison took Emily's hand in her own, resting it against her pregnant tummy. 'For a long time I didn't think we'd have this. Those years we were apart, I couldn't help but think I'd lost you for good. Then when I found you again, and I saw what I'd turned you in to... it just makes me realise now how lucky I am to have you. You've taught me so much over the past few years, and I know that you're going to pass every bit of strength and wisdom that you possess, to our son'  
'I love you, Alison'  
'I love you too, Emily'  
Emily leaned in to kiss Alison, as just as their lips touched, a soft jolt from Alison's stomach bumped their hands caused them to pull apart and chuckle. They looked down at the spot that had just nudged them and Emily soothed over the area with her thumb.  
'I think he's saying he loves you too' Alison giggled.


End file.
